Tales Within Tales
by kitsune13
Summary: an AU that started out as pure late night insanity and then had the nerve to develop an actual plot! Plot starts at chapter 13 - insanity before. Chapter 112: We're finally there. Sephiroth and Cloud, Zack's mystery, Aerith's fate, and Tifa's family.
1. Chapter 1

_From time to time I do actually write something that's not character introversion. This is one such train wreck of insanity and pointlessness. Hope you enjoy the ride and blame it all on YouTube's cosplay vids and fanfic's very own Horky for planting the idea with her FFVII fic 'Rita Boltspirit' (its a great read by the by). BEWARE!!! Not for the geekly challenged or faint of heart (that's right, baby, I'm on cold medication and I'm flying the geek flag high tonight!)._

**Tales Within Tales**

By TamLin

Tifa looked at herself in the hotel mirror with a tipped head, hands on her hips. The mini-skirt and halter top were a heck of a lot skimpier than what she usually wore working in the family bar and grill that she'd taken over running since her father had gotten sick. At the bar it was shorts, apron for the pockets, and a leather vest to keep the spilled liquids from soaking her. The – 'cloth-challenged' outfit she was sporting now would have sent most of her friends into shock but that was part of the fun, wasn't it? Going to a convention was about being someone other than yourself for a couple of days, right?

Tifa had decided to go as Rita Boltspirit.

Sure, _The Last Tale of Rebellion_ was a semi-cheesie movie. Tifa had gone for the action sequences, which had made her drool – but she'd walked out with the story stuck in her head. It had been a silly story – but something in it had lodged inside her brainpan and she'd still found herself thinking about it on and off for weeks afterward. And it really all came down to the characters of Rita Boltspirit and Phoenix Clash. The unrequited love affair that had tugged in equal measures at Tifa's natural 'not fair' reflex that always liked to mentally right wrongs in a 'white knight on their horse' kind of way and in the sad and sympathetic, almost comforting way that always made you feel like you weren't the only one in the world that wanted to be loved and wasn't. Not that Tifa had anyone in particular in mind that she wanted to be loved by, it was just – being loved at all. By someone other than your family and friends. While she didn't write angsty poetry about it or even think about it most of the time – running a business full time when barely past legal drinking age and keeping her siblings upbeat and together took up a lot of mental room – she was still a girl and she thought probably just about every girl wanted someone to love her the way Clash SHOULD have loved Rita.

Instead the hero of the movie had overlooked his childhood friend and constant partner and fallen in love with Iris, the saintly, dead heroine of the movie, ending the credits by looking up at the stars and vowing to find a way of bringing her back while Rita had looked on in love and silence, eyes on him instead of the stars.

God – and when Tifa used that word she really was talking to The Man - Tifa really hoped Hollywood didn't make a sequel. They'd never get it right. But – being Hollywood they were probably already hiring monkeys to pound away at typewriters waiting for Shakespeare to get produced for the next two follow ups.

Now she messed with her hair a bit more, trying to get the bangs to curl right. At least Rita had worn sensible shoes and so Tifa wouldn't be trekking all over the convention in heels or anything. She pressed her lips together in a face.

She was really going to have to watch the way she sat down in a skirt this short…

"Hey, Teef," Aerith, best friend and the evil vice that had convinced her to come to the convention in the first place, stuck her head around the corner from the bathroom. "Is my wig on straight?"

Aerith was going as 'Wendy' from the canceled _Middleman_ TV series this year and unlike Tifa that had put her outfit together cheaply with a couple trips to the local discount retailers and a handy – er, hand with a needle and thread, Aerith had spent months working on her costume. Aerith was always exposing Tifa to obscure shows and books and comics Tifa never would have found on her own in a million years. Sure, Tifa had been geek enough to squeal over the fact that the last _Transformers_ live action movie had used the same voice actor for Optimus Prime/Convoy that she remembered from her childhood and sure she actually understood the villains everyone threw around in the chat rooms as suggestions for the upcoming _Batman_ and _Spiderman_ movies. Heck, she even caught _Sandman_ references from time to time and could banter online Monty Python quips with the best of them but if it wasn't for Aerith Tifa would never have already known about _Watchmen_ long before the movie came out or the _Jekyll_ mini-series on BBC and, most tragic of all, enjoyed watching Wendy and 'Boss' take on 'fighting evil so you don't have to' each week until the series was canceled.

Philistine big wig TV execs…

Now she walked over to look critically at her friend's dark frizzy wig, carefully helping hid the last strands of much longer, lighter brown hair under it. Tifa had opted to just dye her own hair a lighter brown than it was naturally and caught it back in a tail that was tied at the very end. There was no way she was going to win points for it being anywhere near long enough but who really fought battles with hair down to the backs of their knees anyway? Besides, judging from the way the mini-skirt felt, Tifa figured most people wouldn't be looking at the length of her **hair**.

Satisfied with her work she nodded decisively at Aerith, or rather, 'Wendy Watson, Middle-person in training'. Her best friend grinned in pure 'only Aerith possible' glee and whipped out her digital camera to hold it away from them and snap a picture.

"Let's do it" Tifa mocked her character's lame trademark line and with all the panache of an equally lame _Dr. Who_ secondary character Aerith winked and gestured in a 'charge!' manner for the door.

The convention was in easy walking distance of the hotel. In fact, the hotel Tifa and Aerith were staying at was one of the three that linked with the convention center. Though all you really had to do was walk out of your room to feel like you were already there. Not everyone dressed up for conventions like this – but enough did that there was no doubting the 'circus' had come to town. Tifa saw two storm troopers, one Membari, a Barbie and Ken cross-dressed couple and a very – creatively dressed – Pink Power Ranger before they even made it out the lobby doors. Aerith had a hand linked around Tifa's wrist and laughed and joked the whole way. She was an old hand at conventions but Tifa thought the day her friend lost the ability to enjoy almost any situation was probably about the time she'd start looking into post-Apocalyptic survival guides. She already had the _The Zombie Survival Guide_ on her desk at home. It only helped matters that her little brother's dog had chewed up the cover a little.

The convention was the largest one on the continent and it covered everything that was 'geek'. Comics, gaming, minis, fantasy, sci-fi – this year Tifa had even heard there were a couple of Furry groups – 'Furries' being a term she also now knew with dubious thanks to Aerith's expansive knowledge of all things 'geek'. There would be displays, booths, exhibits, lectures, competitions, karaoke, movie screenings, RPG games, guest appearances (Tifa was planning on seeing 'Jayne' from the_ Firefly _series (again with the obtuse big wig TV execs) in the hopes of getting an autograph for her sister, a huge fan of the character) – it was mind boggling how much they managed to fit into so few days. She and Aerith had meticulously gone over the catalog and scheduled everything with a dedication neither of them had ever applied while picking college courses. For the two years Tifa had managed to go to college before her dad had gotten too sick at least. Her next three days were packed full and she wasn't sure she'd really be able to see everything she wanted to. But she'd try. It was all part of the fun.

Before they even got in the convention center first Aerith – or rather 'Wendy' and shortly thereafter 'Rita' were getting pulled into group picture shoots. There was no such thing as 'going alone' to this kind of thing. Heck, everyone was dressed up in cotton candy colored hair – how many barriers did you really expect there to be? With 'Rita's' trademark closed smile, Tifa posed, fists raised, legs carefully placed to make sure no one was shooting up her skirt. Rita's outfit was pretty simple and not really at all uncomfortable. Short skirt, halter top, suspenders, comfortable sneakers, some evening gown gloves she'd cut the fingers out of, elbow guards and a pair of padded fingerless cardio gloves. Looking at some of the costumes she posed next to, pretending to be fierce and determined as pictures were taken, Tifa was glad she hadn't decided to go 'full kit' as Aerith put it. The person (girl/boy? It was impossible to tell) that was walking around in a Sir Didymus AND Ambrosius costume was sure to get hot soon for instance.

She lost Aerith once they were inside the convention center proper but it was all right. They both had separate things they wanted to see and they'd already figured out meet up times throughout the day so they could enjoy things together too. But Dead Gentleman Productions were showing their latest _The Gamers_ follow up and Tifa just hadn't been able to pass that up, not even for Aerith's BBC _Merlin_ cast discussion. As mentioned before, you never really had to be alone at this kind of thing though and, having grown up knowing how to talk to strangers thanks to her family's business, Tifa soon fell in with a 'dread pirate Roberts' and a Randall and Strutter duo. Sitting with them while watching the movie was like a _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ reunion and by the time they were let out, Tifa's sides hurt from laughing so much. More photo ops and then everyone was on their way and Tifa was headed for the food court now that her stomach had finally caught up with the rest of her body and woken up.

She still had a hand reflexively over her side while she stood in line at the donut stand, grinning with pleasant left-over laughter as she waited for her order to come up. It did, just as she heard:

"Rita Boltspirit!"

No one called you by your real name here of course. Mostly because no one knew what it really was but also because that was part of the fun. Not being you. Tifa for instance would have stuck the jelly donut in her mouth before turning around. 'Rita' however turned around with a shy, surprised smile and big wine colored eyes (Tifa's eyes were brown but that's what contact lenses were for after all), donut still safely on plate and cup of cocoa in the other hand. Tifa however couldn't help the funny little quirk the edges of her lips developed when she saw who had not only called to her but was cutting a determined and character appropriate 'feisty' way through the crowds of full tables to get to her.

'Tini'.

Or rather someone dressed as 'Tini Hugarasi', the sometimes comic relief, sometimes plot device instigator, all the time cheerful and peppy ninja and youngest member of the FLOOD team that Tifa's own 'Rita Boltspirit' belonged to. It was hard not to feel like she'd just run into a friend she hadn't seen in a long time and she beamed, keeping it in 'Rita' fashion by not showing too many teeth.

"Tini!" she let the grin into the way she said the name instead and the other girl, in a very good rendition of the movie's costume, grinned back at her and jumped on her toes a little.

"Oh, you look b-awesome! Beyond Awesome" 'Tini' told her in excitement. "Are you sitting with anyone? You've got to move and sit with us. We've got to get pictures! You look so good!" The fact that at any other time she would have taken the words an entirely different way had Tifa laughing and she nodded.

"Okay" she agreed, remembering to nod like 'Rita'. "I'm not supposed to meet my friend for another hour. And you look really good too. How'd you manage your Conformer?"

"Oh, that's my brother. He works on bikes so he does welding." 'Tini' caught her hand to drag her along in very appropriate 'Tini' fashion, chatting as they wove. Tifa was vaguely aware of the way weaving between packed tables made her hips and therefore butt move in that tight and short skirt and hoped no one else noticed. Then she thought 'to hell with it, I'm not me, I'm Rita' and let her hips swing. Working at a bar she'd learned how to tone down the 'sway' but here, as costumes went, hers wasn't the raciest. Not by any long shot.

"I got him to make it for me. He's here too" 'Tini' was still talking. "He's a virgin" she snuck a snicker over her shoulder at her new found confident and when Tifa's eyes widened, snickered again and beamed as she gave the punch line. "He's never been to one of these things before" she filled in gleefully. "So it's his first time. Be gentle with him."

"_Big_ brother?" Tifa guessed as she carefully settled at the empty table that Tini had led them to, setting down her food first so she could manage her skirt as she slid into the chair and was careful to angle her legs downward. Tini rolled her eyes.

"The world's biggest. But he's cool. He's on leave and he says he wants to see what I do when he's not here."

Tifa caught the flicker of worry and pride in Tini's eyes when she said the word 'leave' and her face softened. She could understand that, sympathetically if not empatheticly. She reached over and touched the girl's hand lightly. People liked being touched on the whole and it was safe for Tifa to do it when it was another girl that wasn't going to jump to conclusions and try to hit her up when she brought dessert and the dinner check.

"I'll try not to ruin him for any others," she teased back and Tini grinned. Then she jumped back up and waved her arms frantically. She was either trying to land a Colonial Viper or her brother was somewhere behind them, but Tifa had just taken her first sip of cocoa and that was one of those things you just didn't interrupt.

"Cloud! I found a 'Rita'!" Despite her steadfast ritual, Tifa almost lost her moment of Zen, barely avoiding snorting hot chocolate out her nose as she choked on a laugh at the way Tini said it. Touching her fingertips to her lips to make sure she hadn't sputtered anything out, she turned her head with a grin.

And ran smack into the bluest, deepest pair of eyes she'd ever seen. For the longest second of her entire life so far, Tifa absolutely lost track of everything else in the world as those practically glowing, tropic ocean eyes met and locked with hers. The rest of him only filtered in after the first wave of being in his eyes had washed over her.

Phoenix Clash….


	2. Chapter 2: Snack Time

Chapter 2: Snack Time

'Tini's' brother wasn't Phoenix Clash of course. Or, rather Zell Dincht, the actor that played Phoenix. But he was dressed like Phoenix and for the briefest moment – Tifa thought he looked more liked Phoenix than the actor that had played him. Which of course made absolutely no sense when she thought about it.

Growing up in a bar though had Tifa's recovery time pretty quick and so she managed a 'Rita' head duck before bringing her eyes back up to look at him.

"Long time, no see, Phoenix," she stated in a shy voice to match her persona but her eyes were laughing.

His face was so calm and emotionless that she wondered if he'd play along for a second after she spoke. He was dressed in costume, and a really well done version of it as well, complete with impressively large sword strapped to his back, but he might have just been doing that to humor his little sister. But then the second was past as the very edges of his mouth were shifting upward as something like conspiratorial laughter shifted through his impossible blue eyes and he slid gracefully into the seat between her and his sister at the little table, setting down a tray of food in the process. The giant sword somehow didn't seem to get in his way in the least.

"I've been busy saving the world apparently." His voice was dry and not a little self-depreciating. Tifa couldn't help her smile, happy that he was playing the game with her and 'Tini'. Maybe it was because – it was that moment of seriousness when they'd first locked eyes…

Sometimes, her siblings forgot to play too. Tifa had never been good about just letting that kind of thing go.

"I see you still had time to do your hair," she gestured as she teased it and for the first time the straight face broke and for a moment he was tucking his chin and raising a gloved hand self-consciously to his blond hair. Or rather the gravity defying spikes in his blond hair. His sister made a squeaking noise and the hand redirected to rub at the back of his neck before he could damage the spikes. They weren't as tall as Phoenix's or as organized and distinctive – but Tifa was hardly going to fault someone on their hair attempts. They looked – cute.

"Well, that was kind of Yuf- Tini's doing" he admitted with a surprisingly sheepish grin. "She wouldn't let me come if I didn't let her do my hair."

"Didn't I do good?" Tini bounced in her chair across from Tifa with a bright smile. Obviously as proud of her brother himself as she was of her work on his blond hair. "I think he looks even better than in the movie. I mean, really – who fights with hair that tall?"

Tifa stifled her laugh behind her hand and automatically reached out to begin taking the food off the tray and setting it out. OCD habit but its what happened when you spent your life as a server.

"You did good" she assured Tini as she slid the now empty tray onto the last unoccupied chair at the table. "It must have cost a fortune in hair gel though." She gave the blond man a sympathetic and teasing look of laughter. "You're a good older brother."

He had been watching her set out the food with quietly intent observation, but his blue eyes shifted to find her face at her words and, again, the barely there smile quietly touched the edges of his mouth.

"I try" was all he'd admit to. He didn't ask why she'd felt compelled to serve them their own food. His sister didn't even seem to notice.

"I'm starving!" she dug into her food and Tifa couldn't help but smile. The petite girl was probably one of those 'eat everything and never gain weight' types that shojo mangas loved to portray. She also managed to talk around the eating, which made Tifa assume it was a common occurrence.

"Cloud – I mean, Clash here-" Again, the blue eyes dipped downward with a muted throat noise as the tiny girl teased him about the name. Tifa found it impossibly adorable that a large, grown man was being so politely and quietly embarrassed by his little sister in front of a total stranger he was never even going to see again. Tini was grinning about it. "Clash said he'd come in costume so I wouldn't feel embarrassed. It's my first year dressing up. Since I was the one that wanted to dress up I got to pick who we were coming as." She gave Tifa a proudly triumphant look and reached up to tap the very tip of one of her brother's shaggy blond spikes. "I decided it only made sense for him to be Clash if I was going to be Tini."

Tifa decided two things right there. One – Tini had probably been chosen as the dress up character because it was heavily weighed toward making her brother dress as Clash, which meant The Hair. And two – the guy must really love his little sister a lot to trust her to dress him for cosplay. It was sweet, Tifa decided and gave him a warm smile. Being the oldest sibling in her own family, she could relate to doting on younger ones.

"Well, I'm impressed" Tifa had already inhaled most of her donut and was now contentedly cupping her cocoa with both hands. You learned to eat fast when you lived in the kind of household she did. She noticed that most of Cloud's food was already gone as well. "The friend I'm here with comes to this convention every year and I've seen some of the costumes she's come up with and how long they take to put together – " she moved a hand in front of her. "I was just glad that _Last Tale's_ characters didn't have horns or tails or crazy.. head.. gear…" she trailed off as a blood elf walked past, ears and eyebrows swaying gently as they walked. Both Cloud and 'Tini' turned their heads to watch too.

"That is sooo cool" Tini chirped and hopped up from her chair, digital camera already in hand. "I'll be right back!"

Tifa and the brother watched her go. Absently Cloud hooked the chair she'd vacated with a dark booted foot and pulled it back to the table.

"She's fun," Tifa offered with a real smile and his own face softened.

"She's a spoiled little brat" his voice was low and warm. His blue eyes flickered over to Tifa for a moment so she could see the affection for his sister in them before he went back to concentrating on eating the last of his food. "And it's all my fault."

"It's not a bad thing. I spoil my brother and sister rotten. When I'm not being a tyrant and sucking all the joy from their lives by making them do their chores or something." She propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands as she confessed it without guilt and was rewarded with something that sounded like a coughed chuckle from her companion. In response he propped up his own elbows on the table next to hers and rested his chin on his knuckles to look at her in return. His eyes were alive and warm and expressive in sharp contrast to the rest of him. She noticed he had a thin, almost hidden scar at about eyebrow level on the left side of his forehead under the blond hair.

"Did you bring them too or are they at home slaving away in the mines?" he asked.

Tifa couldn't help the smile.

"They're at home. I left them with Barrett even though Marlene's convinced she's old enough to handle everything on her own since she's all of almost thirteen." Being a natural storyteller, Tifa put the right drama into her tone of voice and was rewarded with another of those quietly coughed chuckles. It was surprising how proud of herself it made her feel to earn those reluctant sounds.

He didn't strike her as someone that laughed often. And it was her nature to want people to be able to laugh.

"Yuffie's all of a whooping sixteen and thinks she knows everything" he confided in his rough/soft voice.

"I do not!" At some point apparently Tini/Yuffie had come back and her protest startled both of them off of their elbows. Tifa felt her skin flush hot for a confusing minute but before she could dwell on it, Yuffie was distracting them with her piping protest.

"Ohhh, don't move! You guys looked so cute that way! Do it again, with your elbows and sitting close like that with the staring into each other's eyes and all. Like Clash and Rita! Come on, I'll post the pictures on the web" she added as if that was actually an incentive, shaking her camera. Tifa didn't consider herself easily embarrassed, not after years of the bar and being 'that poor motherless girl' all through school even before that but for a moment, she actually felt her cheeks heat and found she had to look down to wipe imaginary grains of sugar from her eaten donut off the table. Out of the corner of her vision she caught a shake of blond hair.

"We were talking, Yuf. Not posing for you." The calm voice was amused but firm and the younger girl flopped back down into her chair without arguing. Probably a testament to her relationship with her brother that she did it without protesting and Tifa was relieved to find her own embarrassment had melted as well. Yuffie recovered almost immediately however and brightened.

"You will pose with me though, won't you? I mean, we've got almost half the _LT's_ group here! We've got to take pictures for my MySpace page! And my YouTube site – I'm gonna make a cosplay vid and I've got a song picked out and everything! Come on! Please?!"

Since her brother had apparently sold his soul to his sister for the convention, evidenced by the hair, Tifa found herself the full recipient of the younger girl's admittedly impressive puppy dog eyes. She couldn't help breaking into a smile and laughing.

"Of course" she agreed, wrapping her own hands around Yuffie's as the girl clenched them in prayer position in front of her. "We'll take pictures. That's one of the reasons we're here, right?"

"Right!" Yuffie nodded enthusiastically as her brother muttered something soft that sounded suspiciously like:

"Obviously its not for the events."

His sister ignored him and hopped to her feet instead, smiling bright.

"Come on! Let's find a good place to take the shots!"

It was impossible not to enjoy Yuffie's enthusiasm and Tifa shot her brother a sympathetic smile, which he just answered with a shake of his head, lips pressed together to stifle his own smile. Tifa glanced at the clock on the wall as she pushed back her chair and stood up.

"I have a little bit of time," she agreed and than glanced in sudden surprise at Cloud. His hand had shot out and closed around her wrist and before she could decide if she should be angry or weirded out, he shook his head.

"I'll clear the table" he stated softly and she was surprised to realize she'd been about to do it automatically. Well, less surprised she'd been about to do it automatically and more surprised that he'd noticed, much less stopped her. His lips softened into a small smile when she gave him a puzzled look. Yuffie huffed.

"Fine. Clear the table. Can we just go?" she asked impatiently and her brother let go of Tifa's wrist to simply scoop up everything and drop it all in the nearby trash, setting the tray on top. Tifa joined the younger girl with a laugh, trying to shake off the weird feeling that the fact that someone had noticed her cleaning up after them had given her.

"I saw a place downstairs that looked vaguely 'Shin interior'. Bet we can get some good shots down there."

Tifa actually enjoyed getting her picture taken. Sure, she had more than her fair share of crazy, embarrassing or sheer hideous pictures to prove it but – taking a picture was a way of both proving and remembering something. Something you could point to and say 'see, there I was, that was me then'. A moment of your life frozen in time. Proof that you really had existed.

Her father had done something to all of her mother's pictures after she'd died. Tifa didn't want her brother and sister to have nothing left if anything ever happened to her.


	3. Chapter 3: Pictures

Chapter 3: Pictures

Posing for cosplay pictures was a little bit like acting. Tifa had figured that much out just by looking at Aerith's pictures each year from convention. You didn't just stand there and smile – you **were** your character and so you had to strike a pose that **looked** like them. Fists raised or putting on the punching gloves usually worked for 'Rita' but since 'Rita' now had a 'Tini' and a 'Clash' she could get a little more creative. Together they did a few 'action' poses, Clash with his sword, Tini with the oversized shuriken and Rita in the middle of them with her gloves on and her fists raised. For a group that was armed to the teeth with sharp and poky things, Tifa had admired Rita (and wondered about her sanity) for only using her fists.

It was kind of fun – doing this with a group of other _LT_ actors, Tifa had to admit to herself. She already vaguely knew Cloud and Yuffie, which made it comfortable and strangely she felt like part of a small, temporary family when they were pressed close on either side of her. Apparently they were also doing a good enough job – or looking goofy enough – that people were even stopping to take pictures alongside the oversized jawa they had handed their own cameras over to for pictures.

When Yuffie went 'anime' with her tongue stuck out and one eyelid pulled down, Tifa flashed a victory sign and winked. Cloud must have taken that as his cue because Tifa felt his warmth leave her side. But instead of hiding in the corner until the 'girls' were done, he took the cameras back from the jawa and let her and Yuffie goof while he took the pictures. It made him a pretty cool older brother, Tifa decided as Yuffie glommed on to her in a hug that Tifa returned with a pleasure that might not have been entirely in character for the slightly angsty Rita. If she wasn't mistaken, Cloud might even be smiling that quiet smile of his.

Then an Edward Easter showed up in his tattered red cloak. Or rather **her** tattered red cloak since it was a girl doing a very impressive cosplay of the vampire-like, mysterious long dark haired male of the FLOOD team. It meant that Clash was needed again and so he surrendered the cameras to a Shawn who set aside his red tipped cricket bat to juggle them all and get shots.

"This is so much fun!" Yuffie was having the time of her life in the middle of the group with Tifa while the 'men' took up the outside. Edward's cosplayer was really amazing at setting them up in dramatic looking poses and Tifa thought they were going to get some pretty good pictures out of the deal. It would be fun to show them off to her friends when she got home and Aerith would flip with glee.

"Now do me and Edward!" Yuffie triumphed and gave Tifa a wink. "The fan girls will go nuts. You have no idea how many Edni fics there are out there! I'll get all kinds of hits on my web page!"

"What's an 'Edni'?" Cloud had his head lowered close to Tifa's ear as he asked it and she turned her face toward him with a grin. It made her eyelashes brush against the outside of his nose. She hadn't realized they were so close and she froze while Yuffie pulled 'Edward' off to a nearby bench so they could sit back to back. No one seemed to be paying attention to what 'Clash' was doing at the moment and the area around them suddenly seemed very quiet.

"Ah" she swallowed against a dry throat. "It's a – a scary fan base of girls that think Tini's character should be romantically involved with Edward's."

"Scary?" his voice was low. Amused. And he apparently wasn't aware of how close they were standing or the way their faces were tucked together the way Tifa was starting to notice with a growing clarity.

"They're very protective… of their – ah – coupling," she supplied. 'Protective'… It was funny. That's the way she felt right now. Protected. Which was silly because there wasn't anything to be protected from and she didn't need anyone to protect her anyway. He made a sound low in his throat, like a hum, and she didn't realize she'd been staring into his eyes until the vivid blue flicked upward and away from her. It startled her and she rocked back a bit in surprise at herself.

His hand was already there and around her arm to steady her though. He didn't seem to notice he'd done it, eyebrows coming down over his eyes instead as the edge of his lips started to tug upward again.

"I'm going to go rescue 'Edward'," he muttered and Tifa turned her head to see that the pictures were starting to get goofy between 'Edward' and 'Tini'. They were in the process of trying to figure out how to get 'Tini' up on 'Edward's' back for a piggy back ride as far as she could tell.

"Don't!"

Tifa jerked around in surprise to see a girl dressed in the surprisingly normal outfit of jeans and a t-shirt – though granted the t-shirt did read: 'hastur, hastur….' Another girl next to her dressed in even more 'normal' garb was nodding vigorously.

"That's right. We need some pics of Rita and Clash. Everyone knows they should have been together." She stated it as if she was prepared to defend a very strongly opinioned argument, one she'd given often before.

"'Rish' fans?" Tifa heard Cloud murmur near her ear and suddenly she was laughing and shaking her head.

"'Clari' fans" she corrected with a grin. Secretly, she was one too, she supposed. Phoenix had been a dolt when it came to women, as far as she was concerned. While she understood that you couldn't choose who you loved – she hadn't seen any reason for Clash to love Iris beyond plot drama either. They'd had nothing in common and, by the end, Clash had been too dark for shadowless Iris in Tifa's opinion. Determined – dang 'its not fair' reaction kicking in big time – Tifa put both of her hands on Cloud's arms. He looked down at her and instead of looking surprised he simply looked… 'watchful' she thought. As if he was waiting to see what she was going to do next. 'Watchful' because 'surprised' indicated a hint of worry and he didn't look worried. He looked more like a too polite little boy presented with a box that wasn't open. Not sure what he was expected to do and waiting patiently for the instructions.

"Did you see the movie?" she asked him and he nodded. Just once and the motion barely made his blond spikes move. Tifa nodded back, brows down just a little over her eyes. Deeply in the 'not fair and needing to fix it' mentality by this point.

"Clash was a moron," she told him flat out. "Rita was exactly what he needed. She was the one he always turned to. She was his best friend. Even when he didn't ask her to be there for him, she was. Whenever something was really important or bothering him, she was the one he went to."

"Like when he was sick with Green Fever" 'hastur's' shirt wearer piped in. Her friend was nodding with a scowl.

"Or when he went to the Dream Time and got lost."

"And he was always so protective of her after he got over being a jerk."

"Of course, Tempest was sweeter to her in the video game…"

"The point is" Tifa wrapped her fingers in the blue knit of the shirt in front of her to get his attention back. "The movie ended wrong. And it shouldn't be that way. She should have been able to be happy."

She caught the tiny shifts at the edges of his lips before she'd even finished her not exactly logical, not exactly sensible argument and he laid his single hand over both of hers.

"I saw the movie," he repeated. As if they were trying to explain the basics of how ice was made or why things fell down. Tifa realized she'd let some of her inner closet romantic out and felt suddenly embarrassed, jerking her chin down to stare at her hands under his. Realizing that she had fisted her hands in his shirt and that probably was a weird kind of thing to do to people that didn't really know her. She made her fingers loosen and proceeded to try to brush his shirt back into smoothness over his chest. His very solid, nice chest from the feel of it.

Crap. Had she really just gone mushy and in front of a cute guy no less? Double crap – had she just let herself admit he was cute?

"So you want pictures of 'Rita' and 'Clash'?" he'd turned his head to the two girls with the cameras, his hand forgotten and still over hers lightly as she fiddled. "Because it's the way things should be."

Grateful for the reprieve from his attention, Tifa caught the enthusiastic head bobs in response to his question.

"Nice ones" 'hastur' clarified.

"Romantic ones' her friend added.

Cloud cocked his head a little to the side to look down at Tifa and his eyes were watchful on hers again. Still holding the box waiting to be told whether he was supposed to open it or put it somewhere. Feeling more comfortable since he'd obviously missed her 'fangirl' moment – or chosen to ignore it – Tifa gave him a little smile. She embarrassed easily but she usually recovered pretty quickly too.

"Just watch your hands," she told him with a little bit of teasing starting to leak back into her eyes "and its okay."

It would be okay too. If he was going to try anything with her, he would have already. Tifa was used to the guys that came into the bar. Most of them were familiars but there were always ones you didn't know and she'd gotten very good over the years at knowing which ones were going to cause her problems and which ones weren't. Cloud, blue eyes thoughtful and inward as he contemplated for a moment in front of her, wouldn't.

At least that's what she thought, starting to smile again and feel comfortable, until he shifted to the side and moved behind her. She felt his arms slid around her waist – suddenly remembered that the halter top left her waist bare – and found herself pulled back against him. His shoulders curved forward to cradle the backs of hers and his arms could have almost wrapped double around her. She felt surrounded and warm – a little hot actually – and –

and waaaay too nice. Far too comfortable and right and pleased and flushed and – oh and all kinds of things she really shouldn't.

She felt his chin settle to rest on top of her head and found that her fingers had automatically risen to curl around the bare skin of his arms. Holding him.

"Like this?" he calmly asked the girls with the cameras and was rewarded with squeaks of pleasure.

oh, crap, Tifa… she mentally chided herself. You are in so much trouble when you stop being Rita…

He felt… really wonderful though…

Tifa was a snuggler, though it was usually with confined 'safe' friends and family. She liked holding and being held. She loved hugs, giving and getting. And for just a minute she let herself forget the giggling girls snapping pictures and the fact that the guy holding her was a practical stranger and even that she was pretending to be Rita just so she wouldn't look like 'Tifa the wandering huggaholic' – and just let herself enjoy being held.

Cloud was nice. Solid and warm against her entire back. He smelled good, like soap and wind and clean clothes. She shut her eyes for a minute, feeling heat on her cheeks but enjoying the backward hug all the same. When she relaxed a little more into him, he tightened his arms around her. Surrounding her. His skin where it touched hers was warm. Wonderfully warm. The common sense part of her brain was flaring the 'stranger' warning light pretty hard but – it felt so nice. And his hands weren't wandering. And she was never going to see him again to be embarrassed about this. That's why you dressed up for conventions, right? To be someone you weren't normally?

His cheek was resting against the side of her head now and she could feel his silent exhales tickling the fringe of hair against the side of her face. She turned her face toward him, meaning to say something and having no idea what it was. This was so nice. Warm and nice and…

Safe.

And then she was letting out a squeaking hiccup as another body impacted with hers.

"Group hug!"

Tifa let out a cough and jerked her eyes open to see frizzy dark hair and the edge of a green eye.

"Aerith?" she choked, aware in the back of her head that with her best friend tangled around her the way they were Cloud was the only thing keeping all three of them from ending up on the ground. His arms around her had shifted accordingly in fact.

"Hey!" her friend perked, flashing a cheesie smile and inverted 'v' for victory sign at the cameras. Aerith's pretty face was all smiles but the look in her eyes was worried. "You were late and so I came to find you. Who knew you'd draw such a big crowd?"

"Crowd?" Tifa choked again as Aerith dragged her backward and the arms around her let go.

Sure enough, Aerith was right if exaggerating a little. It wasn't a 'crowd' with cameras. But it was more than just two grinning fan girls that was for sure. Yuffie came bounding over with a wide grin, wrapping both hands around her brother's arm to swing into him.

"You two are such a hit! You look so cute together! I told you – Clash and Rita – you guys are perfect!"

The hidden worry in Aerith's eyes relaxed a little but didn't disappear and Tifa still wasn't sure why it was there in the first place. But it was starting to make her worry too. Cloud looked down at his little sister with a quiet smile.

"We were just standing here," he pointed out in his quiet calm voice. "You and 'Edward' were the ones drawing the crowd."

Yuffie giggled and shook her head.

"Nuh uh" she teased cheerfully. "Or maybe 'yeah huh' but you guys were drawing a crowd too. I bet you're up all over the internet by tonight. The Iris fans are going to hate you," she sang the last two words and Tifa found herself laughing again. She gave Aerith's arm, still around her waist, a squeeze and she let go - a little.

"Guys, this is my friend I was telling you about. Aerith, this is Cloud and his sister, Yuffie. Or maybe I should call them Clash and Tini."

"Hey" Aerith was all smiles again. The worry in her eyes had shifted over to what, to Tifa's puzzlement, looked like embarrassment. Cloud nodded and Yuffie grinned. 'Hastur' was giving Tifa a thumbs up from a little further away and her friend ran up to hand over a piece of paper with a web address scribbled on it.

"You guys rock" she stated with a grin and then darted back to her friend to head off into the moving crowds. Cloud lowered his head since he was still standing next to Tifa to look at the address over her shoulder. Yuffie snapped a photo of it. And then it clicked in Tifa's head.

"Crap!" Living with two minors it was her worse swear word. If Aerith was looking for her because she was late to their meeting spot than – Tifa looked around for the nearest clock. Crap! Crap, crap, crap. They were late! And it was the screening and forum for the upcoming Kurt Wimmer movie! Tifa loved Kurt Wimmer movies and she'd been looking forward to this one since it was only a rumor on the internet boards.

"We've got to go" she tugged on Aerith's arm and Aerith gave the two other cosplayers in front of her a smile.

"Tifa's a violence fiend" she supplied cheerfully.

"Action fiend" Tifa clarified, already tugging her friend away.

"Have fun. Nice meeting you!" Yuffie yelled and Tifa turned her head over her shoulder to flash a real grin at the sibling duo. For a moment, just a moment, all she saw were the bluest eyes. 'Watchful' blue eyes that belonged to a little boy still holding a package in his hands. She waved her goodbye but it was the strangest wave, coming out soft and hesitant instead of cheerful and casual. It probably made her look like an idiot, she decided as Aerith took over the steering and soon had both of them running through the crowded center.

By the time they got to one of the main halls, they were both out of breath and laughing and, either thanks to Aerith's fluttering eyelashes or Tifa's short skirt, they managed to get the guys in the process of closing the doors to hold them open just a moment longer.

For the next hour, Tifa was only really aware of fight scenes and unusual futuristic plot lines. Aerith, next to her, was happy with the computer special effects examples they showed. When they walked out afterward however Tifa was rubbing her arms.

"Was the air on kinda high in there?" she asked and Aerith in her Eisenhower jacket, shrugged.

"I don't think so."

"Let's go stand outside for a minute" Tifa rubbed her arms again. "I'm kind of cold."


	4. Chapter 4: Sharing

o_h for shame, for shame. Not a single shout out in the reviews from fans of any of the things I dropped into this pop culture story of geekdom? Not even anyone counting the references? siiiiigh, you guys are breaking my heart, really you are…_

Chapter 4: Sharing

"So what was all the freaking out about?" Tifa asked as they sat on a planter outside. Aerith, jacket off and head tipped back so her face was to the sun looked suddenly embarrassed.

"Well – you were late. And you're never late. You're 'Tifa, the Walking Time Piece'."

Tifa snorted, both at the description and the over dramatic emphasis her friend put on the words. Absent she swung her feet so the heels of her shoes tapped silently on the planter behind her legs.

"And then I found you – except you were in some guy's arms and you looked…" Aerith's voice trailed off and Tifa turned her head to look at her friend, eyebrows starting to rise just a little.

"You looked… fuzzy" Aerith finished helplessly. "And all I could think about were all those horror stories about girls that go to parties and get something slipped in their drinks."

It was silent for a minute and then Tifa started to cough her laughter. Aerith turned accusing eyes on her and tried to glare.

"Don't laugh! I'm serious. Your face looked – funny. All – " Aerith's hands moved pointlessly. "Fuzzy. And you weren't posing or anything, just – standing there in his arms and he had this really - this _look_ on his face and – and you were late!" she finished the last bit as if it explained all the other panic.

Tifa covered her face with her hands and let herself laugh it all out. Which was better than letting herself get all uncomfortable and embarrassed. Aerith was an all out romantic to Tifa's closet one and she knew her friend liked to imagine more to situations than there normally was. But Aerith also knew her better than just about anybody. Had she really looked… 'fuzzy'?

And what the heck was 'fuzzy' supposed to look like anyway?

"Give me my camera" she straightened up with a smile and a shake of her head for her friend. "You're hopeless, you know. We were just posing for those girls while his sister was hitting up 'Edward'."

Aerith didn't look convinced. She did dig Tifa's camera out of her 'Middlebag' however and hand it over. Then she scooted closer and peered over Tifa's shoulder while her friend paged through the photos in her camera's memory. Tifa's thumb slowed down and then stopped when she hit the pictures of her and Cloud.

"oh…"

Aerith, looking over her shoulder, nodded softly.

"Yeah" her voice was quiet. "oh."

Tifa didn't know who'd had her camera by that point but whoever they were they were really good. The pictures of her in Cloud's arms were crystal clear and centered. Cloud had chosen a romantic pose. It was sweet and protective and possessive and cherishing and it made Tifa think it was exactly the way Clash should hold Rita. It also really made her envy every girl Cloud had ever held that way seriously before. But it was her face in the pictures that had her stomach taking a startled dip. The photographer had even been kind enough to go for a close up in one shot, and there was her face with Cloud's cheek resting against it and –

Tifa groaned and handed the camera back to her friend. Who took it and flipped slowly through the last of the pictures. Tifa let her head fall back to rest on the back of Aerith's shoulder.

"Wow" Aerith whispered. Paused a long time while Tifa rolled her eyes to look over at her. Waiting.

"You looked really happy."

"Happy?" Tifa asked. Because she'd been thinking of a different word. A word that rhymed with 'happy' but started with an 's'. Aerith looked thoughtfully at the camera in her hands and frowned.

"Yeah. Happy. I mean, you're always smiling and cheerful and stuff, Teef but – " she shrugged. "I don't know – you look – quiet happy in these. Like, deep down happy that you don't need to laugh or smile to be."

"Oh, **that** made a lot of sense" Tifa mocked her friend, straightening up. Aerith laughed and gave her a gentle shove before turning off the camera and putting it back in her bag.

"So are we still on for a little shopping before the next event?" Aerith asked and Tifa grinned as she hopped to her feet.

"Absolutely. I told Denzel I'd get him a banner like the one you brought back last year if the dealer was here again this year."

That was one of the things that made Tifa so close to Aerith. That let her trust the other girl with so much of herself. It was that Aerith knew when to tease – and when not to tease. With a wicked look in her eye at the thought of spending money, Aerith caught Tifa's wrist in her hand and cheerfully dragged her off toward where the booths were set up, happily starting a running story about a guy she'd met who was publishing his _Order of the Stick _web comic in book form. Strange blond men and weird forms of 'happy' tossed out the window in favor of more pressing – and comfortable – matters. Tifa was more than happy to stay that way.

The shopping went longer than they'd planned but Tifa was having too much fun with her friend to break away to catch the lecture by S.M. Stirling though she did make it a point not to miss The Crossed Swords combat demonstration. The two girls caught lunch together and sat outside while they ate it, snapping pictures of various costumed characters and comparing notes on what they'd done so far. Tifa had them done early however and in line for one of the main events. A new _Terminator_ movie was coming out next year and they'd been promised a fairly lengthy trailer/teaser/goodie show. The line behind them started to snake as it grew and when the doors were finally opened the auditorium filled up quickly. Tifa and Aerith ended up near the end of a row toward the middle of the stadium, somewhere between what looked like a group of Borg and an anime version of the Wizard of Oz. At least Tifa thought that was what they were. As the place got more packed she glanced around the room, wondering how full they were going to let it get. Her eyes passed and went back to look again before they'd even focused and showed her what had caught their attention.

Spiky blond hair.

Crap.

Curling her fingers around the back of her chair, Tifa tipped to the side a little and – sure enough. The spiky blond hair belonged to a really good version of Clash, standing at the back of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms folded loosely over his chest. Even the Sailor Moon trio on one side of him wasn't distracting enough for Tifa to miss him. She paused and then her eyebrows came down a little and she frowned. This was ridiculous, she wasn't going to avoid him the entire convention or let herself get all tangled up in feeling awkward over something that had just been a weird fluke on her part anyway she was sure. Shifting onto her knees on the chair, she turned around to face the back and waved. Quite a few people waved back. Cloud however hadn't seen her. So she gestured to one of the guys that had waved at her and then pointed beyond him. Quite a bit of hand gesturing, silly silent flirting and three more people being involved finally got Cloud's attention and by the time he reached the aisle Tifa was in, he was actually chuckling. Tifa threw silent mime kisses to the people that had helped and then turned around in her seat in time to greet him with a smile.

"You looked lonely back there," she explained as he sank down on to his heels next to her chair, laughter pooled like light in the blue of his eyes.

"You need to either work on a landing pad or at a daycare the way you managed that." The edges of his lips were curved as he said it, stopping to give a nod of greeting to Aerith who was peering around Tifa from the other side.

"Speaking of which, where's Yuffie?"

His face softened at her question and he shook his head.

"She kicked me out. She's gaming her 'no longer _Forgotten Realms_ revamp elf ranger' in one of the RPG tourneys and said me making noises in the back of my throat every time she did something was getting on her nerves." After a pause, he added calmly: "I have no idea what she's talking about."

Both Aerith and Tifa stifled their own choked laughs behind their hands. Then Tifa looked over at the doors and scooted sideways in her chair.

"Sit next to me."

Those cerulean blue eyes moved to hers, quiet and watching again and she shrugged.

"Aerith and I can kind of squish together. They're starting to clear the room of everyone that's not sitting in a chair but its not like they're going to count heads. Sit in my seat and you can stay and watch the show with us."

"We're used to squishing" Aerith agreed helpfully. "And this way when its time to leave you can walk in front of us and clear the way." Her smile was sunshine bright and pure as rain as she added: "Please?"

A sound came in the back of his throat and his blue eyes were smiling as he straightened up just enough to slid onto the seat Tifa had vacated for him. He slipped the giant sword off and onto the ground to lie against the outside of the chair. Aerith gave the girl sitting next to her a cheerful smile and earned a little bit of chair there and so, between the three of them they managed to take up probably about two and a quarter seats and the spaces in-between. Tifa, used to fitting both of her siblings into all kinds of tight places with her, wasn't uncomfortable. The snuggler in her actually enjoyed being able to be this close to people she liked without having to feel awkward about not having a viable excuse. True to her guess, everyone standing was ushered out but no one stopped to count heads and so as the lights dimmed and the announcer took the podium at the front, she relaxed and snuggled in.

It didn't take long for them to start rolling the movie clips and they were everything Tifa could have hoped for. Drama and action and, of course, the trade mark slightly hammy humor. She forgot everything but the screen and, at the end, when the lights came back up a bit, just enough for the speaker to take the podium again, she clapped happily with everyone else.

"We've got to see that when it comes out" she told Aerith and felt her friend nod next to her. And it was only then that Tifa realized there was an arm on the chair behind her and it was far too thick and warm to be Aerith's.

Her very first thought was an indignant 'he didn't even fake a yawn', followed swiftly by heat in her cheeks as she realized that he probably had to put his arm there for balance considering he was trying to take up as little of the seat as possible to try to give her and Aerith as much room as he could. And Tifa actually had to pause and debate which reason she'd rather have for his arm behind her.

It was a very warm arm. In fact, he was nicely warm, Tifa thought distractedly as she realized how closely pressed against him she was sitting. Particularly since his arm was behind her and that tucked her in against his side in a kind of way. Not exactly but it still put her in the shelter of him.

A laugh ran through the crowd and Tifa realized the director was telling a funny story about – something or other that had happened on the set at some point. She loved inside stories like that and so she mentally pushed away her distracted thoughts and focused.

It was easier to focus when she was comfortably warm. 'Rita' didn't exactly dress with indoor air conditioning in mind.

The hour passed quicker than Tifa had thought it would and in no time everyone was applauding and then getting up to file out. Tifa and Aerith, from old habit, didn't get up right away, both of them content to wait for the crowds to thin a little before they left and Cloud apparently had no problem taking his cue from them. The seat next to Aerith did empty though and so Tifa had a seat all to herself. Cloud had forgotten his arm across the back of the chair however and so she didn't lose her warmth even if she did lose the comforting feel of being pressed up between him and her best friend. Aerith gave Cloud a speculative look.

"So, Tifa's adopted you too, huh?" she asked and blue eyes moved from the door to her and then to Tifa. The very edge of those lips twitched.

"Have you?" he asked and Tifa shifted a little in her seat. Giving her a chance to glare at Aerith before turning an innocent face on the man next to her.

"Do you need to be adopted?" she asked and for a moment he dipped his head and the edges of his mouth curved a bit more. The hand that wasn't lax against the back of her chair rose to find the back of his neck. But the blue eyes came back up to meet hers and they were wicked as he mildly answered:

"I don't know. I've heard you're a slave driver."

It had Tifa smiling and she shifted her eyes upward.

"I am," she agreed cheerfully. "I'll make you do your homework before letting you play and I'm a dragon when it comes to chores."

"She even makes me do them," Aerith piped up happily. Cloud's eyes were smiling as he stated:

"Maybe I should sell Yuffie to you. I'm not sure she remembers what homework is most days."

"I think selling slaves is illegal in Midgar" Aerith laughed and Cloud shook his head, a single negative motion.

"We're from Wutai" his voice made the word sound foreign. More foreign. "So its all right. I'm fairly sure the current Kisaragi would happily agree to selling Yuffie."

Not that Wutai sold slaves either but Tifa understood he was making a joke about the fact people joked about the backwater personality of his country. She also understood suddenly that there was a great deal she'd assumed about Cloud that was obviously wrong. She'd thought – when his sister had said he was on 'leave' she'd thought – but obviously Yuffie had meant from the Wutai personal army. Also – Cloud didn't look like someone from Wutai but Yuffie, now that he mentioned it, obviously did.

"Wutai?" Aerith was enthusiastic. "I've always wanted to visit. I hear it's beautiful."

"It is" Cloud answered but his eyes, all that intense, compacted blue, were watching Tifa. Waiting. She raised her own eyes to his. The way his eyes looked, the way he moved, the way he handled the oversized sword…

"You're not a Wutai soldier." It came out of her softly before she could stop herself. He was an absolute stranger and she wasn't supposed to be paying attention to his personal life. But – bartender for so long… she picked up on things. And his eyes…

"No."

Aerith went still on the other side of her but Tifa's face softened and she lightly reached out to rest a hand on his bare forearm.

"I bet all the people walking around here with fake weapons as part of their costume are driving you nuts."

It made him cough a laugh and his face relaxed. He shrugged, almost more a slight movement of his chin than his shoulders.

"Yuffie scares me more with her conformer."

"I think she'd scare anyone with that thing," Tifa agreed, easing them back on to lighter footing. "And she says you made it for her so it's only your own fault."

His lips softened into that quiet smile and again his hand rose to rub the back of his neck.

"She really wanted it," he offered helplessly and Tifa laughed at him, standing up to give his arm a tug.

"Come on. Things have cleared out a bit. Let's get out of here." She turned and grinned at Aerith as the other girl stood up as well and stretched. "Remind me to find an older brother like this one."

Aerith laughed and shook her head.

"You say that now but I bet he's a terror to anyone that wants to date his little sister."

Cloud's lowering brows and automatic glower at even the thought had both of the girls laughing at him as they left the auditorium.


	5. Chapter 5: Memories

_Okay, despite myself it looks like the characters are insisting on actually starting to develop a plot. Which means this is apparently going to be longer than just a couple of chapters. no fear, gentle readers, I don't start stories I don't finish. ;)_

Chapter 5: Memories

Tifa had to admit – she'd stayed out too late last night. She'd just never imagined there would be so much to do at a convention of this size and at all hours of the night no less despite Aerith's stories. The all night_ Brisco County Jr._ marathon had really taken it out of her. Though, really, who could resist the entire 'touching Pete's piece' section? she thought with a stifled yawn.

She was dressed as Rita again, less because she was going with a theme for the convention and more because Rita's outfits were easy to put together and comfortable. Well, other than the very, very short skirts but Tifa was learning to kind of enjoy those once she got the hang of them. Rita hadn't had a lot of costume changes in the movie. The outfit Tifa had worn yesterday had been the main one. But she'd worn a brown leather set when she'd been guiding people through the mountains of her homeland in the beginning of the movie and for several flashbacks and that's what Tifa wore now – even if she did wonder at the logic of wearing a mini-skirt and midriff baring tops in a mountain climate. So – it was brown leather vest and short skirt, white top, boots. She'd skipped the hat mostly because Tifa had a hard time not fiddling with anything that ended up stuck on her head. Out of habit, she checked the schedule she'd figured out for the day and looked at the clock on the wall. She'd intended to hit up the _Dark Horse_ new release forum but the patch of sunshine coming in the large windows and the relative quiet of this particular area of the convention center seemed much more tempting. Granted, she could go back to her hotel room and crash there but it seemed like a lot of hassle when she could just sit against a pillar here and take a ten minute break instead.

Another yawn decided her and she moved over to settle down against the pillar in the warm spot of sunshine instead. Just a quick break, to close her eyes and catch a short rest. She did it all the time back home since sleep wasn't always a regularly scheduled thing with her father's sickness not particularly paying attention to the clock and whatnot. She was careful as she scooted down and got comfortable with the short skirt. It was next to impossible to sit modestly on the floor in it but she finally figured out a way that tucked her legs just right so she wasn't giving any of the camera happy boys running around a shot at something she didn't want plastered all over the internet. Satisfied, she smiled and tipped her head back against the pillar, closing her eyes as the heat from the sun started to soak into her. This section of the convention center was pretty empty right now. Ten minutes. She'd just do this for ten minutes and then she'd get up…

Tifa could doze almost anywhere in any situation and she was just in the process of sinking into it when the light from the sun was suddenly blocked. She ignored it for a minute, waiting for whoever wasn't paying attention to the people around them to move but when they didn't, she opened one eye and squinted up. After last night, she'd left out the contacts. They made her eyes dry.

She saw black. Tall, lean and lots of black blocking out the sun. And – further up…

Blond. A blond spiky halo. Before she even realized it she smiled. She should have known…

"Cloud."

He dropped down from where he'd been standing facing her to kneel in front of her. It kept him tall enough that he still kept the sun from shining in her eyes when she looked at him. The sun behind him hid his face but she could see that he was smiling and it seemed almost shy - his quiet smile.

"Want some company?" he asked and without really thinking about it, she nodded. Smooth, he shifted around to sit next to her, his own back against the pillar as well and a second later she felt his larger shoulder nudge behind hers. She was tired, she told herself. So she was going to make that her excuse for why she shifted forward enough for him to move a little behind her so that she could settle back against him, resting her back against his side and chest.

"Where's Yuffie?" she asked in a murmur as she shifted her legs to make sure her skirt stayed where it should and shut her eyes again.

"Practicing with 'Edward'" his quiet voice was dry. "They've decided to do a skit for one of the cosplay competitions."

"oh. my" Tifa offered and felt more than heard his silent chuckle.

"You have no idea," he admitted, relaxing against her. "They said I was 'limiting' and threw me out."

"Poor guy" Tifa commiserated and tipped her head back. His shoulder was there for it and that was much nicer than the hard pillar.

She expected him to ask her why she was falling asleep propped up against a pillar in a quiet section of the convention center but he didn't and soon she found herself starting to drift again. The rise and fall of his chest behind her was comforting and between him and the sunshine she was warm and lazy feeling.

Dozing wasn't exactly sleeping. It was more – letting her mind drift. For some reason, maybe the sunshine, her mind slipped back to when she was a child. Piano lessons… apple tarts and the cinnamon smell of the kitchen… high pitched children's voices calling outside her door for her to come and play… like waves, indistinct and fluid the memories slipped forward and then slipped away. They were comforting memories. Times had been different then. Mom had still been alive, Dad hadn't been sick, they'd lived above the Plates… But then the memories drifted and they were below the Plates. In the slums. Dad was sick… Mom was dying but they didn't know it yet… she had still had her piano… there had still been children that wanted her to play… children with dirty faces and ragged clothes – but her clothes had started to grow ragged too… Aerith hadn't been there yet – they'd met later, when they were both almost adults. Most of the children she'd played with those first few years were gone by now. Dead. Lost. Moved away, upward or outward in the hopes of finding a better life… In her doze their faces came to her again though and she heard their voices. Demitir – the bossy leader of the pack… Ruben – always spilling marbles out of his pockets… Mycroft and his broken glasses… Bessie and her inevitable tears…

Blond messy hair glimpsed from time to time on the edges of the lot they played in and the small boy that never joined them –

Really?

It woke Tifa up, or at least broke her out of her drifting and she blinked her eyes open slowly, trying to catch at the unraveling threads of where her mind had been. Children playing in a rusty, abandoned lot… voices calling to her…

Blond hair.

She blinked against the sun in her eyes. Behind her, a chest rose and fell in slow rhythm, heavy with sleep. The memory tickled at the edges of her mind. Had there been a blond boy or had her head just worked that in because she'd been seeing so much blond lately? Still lethargic and relaxed she thought about it without moving from her comfortable position. No. No, she remembered. There had been a blond boy. They'd lost their ragged leather kick ball under a pile of rusted metal one time and she'd been determined to get it back even though it wasn't hers. Mostly because it wasn't hers and she'd felt responsible for losing it. It had been getting dark – darker - it got dark fast under the Plates - and everyone else had abandoned it to go home – they'd abandoned her. She'd been scratched up and dirty and scared and frustrated, unable to fit herself in any of the holes in the rubble that would show her where the ball had gotten lodged when he'd appeared. He'd looked like a dandelion yellow hair sticking out everywhere around his pale, lean face. He'd silently crawled under the pile and she'd lost sight of him. When he'd finally come out he'd been bloody and scraped with torn clothes. But he'd had their ball.

And his eyes had been the concentrated blue of the sky 'above' when he'd handed it back to her.

Sitting up, careful not to wake the man behind her, Tifa turned a little to look at his sleeping face. Relaxed, he looked – young. Young and unguarded. Mentally she tried to match the face she hardly remembered from childhood with the one in front of her but she couldn't. The incident with the ball had been one of the last times she remembered seeing the flash of blond hair around the neighborhood.

Had she remembered to thank that little boy of long ago? She – she thought so. She remembered chattering, being excited and thrilled but also scared of being out alone in the dark and wanting to go home. He'd never said anything in response to her, she remembered that but not much else. Mostly she remembered the scolding she'd gotten when she'd finally come home and it hadn't been long after that that her mother had died. Tifa shook her head. Cloud said he was from Wutai. Not Midgar. It was hardly as if there was only one blond haired, blue eyed male in all the world. But – it was something about those eyes… Those quiet, expectant blue eyes…

To distract herself she looked for a nearby clock and realized that she'd slept – or drifted at least – for a great deal longer than her ten minutes. Which was odd because she was good about timing herself and waking up when she was supposed to. But if she didn't hurry she'd be late to the art show and Aerith had some of her work entered in it. Tifa hadn't needed to promise to be there, it was just a given that she would be. Shifting over onto her knees with her legs tucked under her she looked at the face of the man sleeping against the pillar. Sunlight in his shaggy blond hair. Blue eyes hidden by closed lids and pale lashes.

Little boy waiting to have someone tell him what they expected him to do with what was in front of him…

Silent she rose to her feet. She was tempted to take a picture of him, just as he was now, but something warned her that it would wake him up somehow. The way little children and animals always stopped doing whatever cute thing they'd been doing when you turned on a camera around them. And she didn't have the heart to wake him up. She didn't think it was necessary. No one was going to bother him here. She already had the picture in her head and she puzzled over it in front of her mental eyes on her way to meet her friend.


	6. Chapter 6: Tempest

Chapter 6: Tempest

They celebrated Aerith's awards by splurging on ice cream at the food court. Today, Aerith was Deedlit the elf and the wide shoulder pads on her outfit earned them plenty of room. Also on the up side as far as Tifa was concerned, 'Deedlit's' skirt was just as short as hers which meant Aerith couldn't flaunt the fact she could cross her legs today the way she had yesterday when she was wearing sensible pants. Tifa was wearing a smug little smile about it at the moment in fact.

"You know, I had someone offer me gil for my fairy picture – the one with the flowers."

"Yeah?" Tifa perked up at that. Her friend was talented with colored pencils and she'd always thought Aerith deserved some kind of recognition for it. Well, recognition beyond decorating the interior of Tifa's house and filling the walls of other friends' houses as well. Real credit.

The kind of credit that meant you got to move up to one of the Plate Sectors for instance.

Aerith twirled her spoon.

"I gave it to him instead. It was for his daughter's room."

"Aerith" Tifa shook her head. There was the practical part of her that wanted to shake her friend instead of her head. The practical, money grubbing part of her that knew exactly how much it cost to feed a family of four or pay for the power that ran the lights in a bar for a month or what a drought near Kalm did to the cost of alcohol the next year. It was the part of her that remembered sunshine all the time, not just on vacation and dreaded the thought of her friend's walks to the dilapidated old church in the evening gloom. But there was the other part of Tifa that not only approved but actually understood her friend's generosity. It was the part that knew how little kindness or thoughtfulness there was in the world and saw how even the smallest offer of it affected people. It was the part of her that found smiles more rewarding than gil and thought little children should always think the world was safe and fair and beautiful even though it wasn't.

The part of her that saw a little child inside of every adult.

Aerith just smiled at her friend.

"It's okay. I've already got another idea for that fairy but if I had her sitting in front of me, I wouldn't be able to draw it right." Tifa gifted her with one of those affectionate 'you're crazy' looks and finished off her ice cream.

"So have you seen Cute, Quiet and Blond today?" Aerith asked with a dancing light in her green eyes and Tifa shot her a look. Which just made her friend's face light up.

"You did? When? Did you get more snuggle time in?"

"Aerith" Tifa warned. "Total stranger. Not from around here. Never going to see again. Remember?"

Aerith gave her a narrow look.

"So? Like there aren't cell phones in Wutai?"

Tifa fought the urge to squirm and instead gathered up the small amount of trash from their table, stacking everything neatly.

"I don't do long distance relationships," she stated calmly and Aerith exhaled and gave her a soft, understanding smile.

"You don't 'do' relationships at all." Reaching out she patted Tifa's hand. "But its okay. I understand."

Tifa gave her a smile. A real, heart deep smile. Only Aerith didn't push, only Aerith just – just let her be who she was, mixed up and possibly not at all normal though it might be.

"There you are!"

Hands slapped down on the table in front of them and Tifa turned her head, startled to see the 'hastur' girl from yesterday. Looking dangerously excited. Today her shirt read: 'don't hit kids. No, seriously. They have guns now.'

"Here I am" Tifa agreed, not at all sure that was a positive thing. The girl grinned at her.

"We need more pictures." She got straight to the point at least. "We've found a Tempest and we want pictures. And you're the best Rita there is. We want Tempest and Rita pictures."

Tifa blinked and then frowned.

"Tempest?"

"You know – there was that free for all fight video game that came out last year. With all the characters from different movies? _World Souls_. It has Rita and Clash in it. And Tempest from the _Last Dream_ video. Anyway, everyone thinks that Rita and Tempest should be together because in the video game he's really sweet and moody and Clash is still ignoring Rita and it would serve Clash right and make Rita happy."

Tifa listened to the explanation with brows that kept getting lower in confusion. Aerith made a little sound and started nodding.

"I remember. I played that when it came out. Aren't they going to release a sequel next year?"

'don't hit kids' nodded excitedly and turned her full attention on Aerith.

"Yeah! And I heard they were going to double up the attacks so you could power team with other players on line this time. Like _Dead Fantasy_ only in video game form!"

"That's so exciting!" Aerith's face was all light and Tifa watched the two video gamers with a faint amusement. She didn't get it but Denzel and Marlene both enjoyed playing the same games on the battered game box she'd managed to get them last year. **After** they finished their homework of course.

"So that's why we need you" 'don't' was looking back at Tifa. "Because Sai is distracting him now but if we don't get you over there quick we'll lose our chance. Or she'll drag him off into a closet and have her way with him" she added after a moment's thought.

Aerith was now giving Tifa a look that seemed to indicate how bad that would be. Stifling a smile, Tifa stood up and picked up the tray, dumping its contents in the trash.

"All right" she agreed with a laugh. "Let's go save the video game universe."

"He was cute in the game. Is he cute?" Aerith wanted to know as they walked back toward one of the indoor waiting areas in the convention center. Tifa ran a hand through her hair and licked her lips to make sure she didn't still have chocolate on them. She could just see herself smiling for pictures with a mud mouth.

Tempest… Tempest… what the heck did Tempest look like? She wondered.

Like a tall guy with shaggy brown hair, a long gunblade and a short jacket over lean dark pants apparently, Tifa decided as 'don't's' friend from yesterday, Sai apparently, dragged him over by the arm. He looked about as amused but willing to go along with things as Tifa felt and returned her 'looks like we're stuck in this together' smile with one of his own.

"Tempest, Rita. Rita, Tempest" 'don't' gave the unnecessary introductions and Tifa stifled another laugh. It was awkward but it would have been more awkward if she or the 'Tempest' actor were taking it seriously. Which apparently by the looks on their faces they weren't.

"Okay" Sai dragged them both over to a nice mosaic wall. "Now these are sweet pictures."

"Romantic pictures" her friend called as Tifa handed over her camera to Aerith.

"He's saved you from a life of loneliness with Clash and she's healed the wound in your heart from losing the woman you loved" Sai set up the situation for them like a director giving actors their motivation.

"That was kind of you" Tifa told 'Tempest' and he laughed, eyes crinkling at their edges and shrugged.

"Apparently saving you from a jerk was the least I could do since you healed my heart."

"awwww" one of the two fan girls chorused and her friend elbowed her. Tifa stifled a snicker and stepped forward to face 'Tempest' who appeared to be waiting for her to make the first move. Probably terrified he'd do something wrong and have rabid fan girls at his throat or Tifa's fist in his nose.

Smart man.

'I'm Rita' Tifa reminded herself. 'I'm Rita in love with some guy named Tempest because I've gotten tired of waiting for Clash to pull his head out of his as-'

"Come on. Romantic" the 'director' instructed and Tifa rolled her eyes and stepped up to 'Tempest' to slid her arms around his shoulders and tip her face up to him. His hands closed around her hips but were behaved enough not to go anywhere else and his grey eyes met hers with a private, shared laugh in them.

"Do I have chocolate on my face?" she asked him while gazing up at him 'adoringly' and he chuckled, reaching up to move the hair back from her face.

"No. Do I have anything in between my teeth?"

She slid her hands down to rest on his chest as he stepped closer and lowered his head.

"All clear" she told him with a small smile, starting to feel a little heat seeping into her cheeks.

"I'm late, aren't I?"

The voice wasn't female and it wasn't from the man in front of her. Tifa's face turned to look just as the fangirls started to squeal in delight.

"Cloud – "


	7. Chapter 7: Triangles

Chapter 7: Triangles

"**And** Yuffie" Yuffie chimed in and Tifa pulled her eyes from the – the surprisingly shifting blue of Cloud's to spot his sister at his side. The younger girl was grinning widely.

"You're getting cross-over pics, aren't you?" she asked the two girls with the cameras. "That's so cool! Let me get some too. There's a real big Tempest/Rita fanbase out there. The hits on my website will go through the roof. I'm going to have to dedicate an entire section to Rita now."

"What?" Tifa managed before Sai looked over at Cloud with an evil light in her eyes. Cloud wasn't looking at her though. He and 'Tempest' seemed to be having some silent form of communication going on.

"What we need is a love triangle," the 'director' decided.

"What?" Tifa repeated herself.

"Oh! Perfect!" Yuffie bounced in excitement.

"It is only fair," 'don't' agreed. "The whole Iris/Clash/Rita thing is getting boring but a Tempest/Rita/Clash thing would really get the fans worked up."

Aerith was nodding in easy agreement and then raised her hand in a nonverbal shrug at Tifa's look.

"Oh, come on!" Yuffie caught at her brother's arm, dragging him over toward the mosaic wall. "You two can glare at each other over her head and act all possessive and stuff. You know 'guy stuff'. It'll let you get out your pent up aggression over me using up all the hot water at the apartment this morning."

Without really thinking about it, Tifa slid a hand off Tempest's chest and reached out for Cloud's arm.

"You did use up all the hot water" Cloud's voice was a low rumble as mild and calm as his face but he came to stand behind Tifa and slid his arm around her waist. His hand spread over her stomach. Which jerked in response. Bare stomach, Tifa thought. She'd forgotten the midriff top and Cloud's hand was warm even through his glove. His other hand joined it and his fingers linked over and against her bare skin there as he stepped forward so that she could feel his heat against her back as well. She tipped her head back over her shoulder to look at him but he was already in character and giving Tempest a colorless look, face expressionless but his eyes were just the littlest bit tight and the brows over them were tight as well. In automatic response, she slid one of her own hands down to curve her fingers against the top of his. He shifted his fingers so she could slide hers through his longer ones but he didn't look away from Tempest.

Who was also giving a really good imitation of a possessive man too, Tifa noticed as she shifted her face to look at the dark haired man. She lifted her other hand to rest it on his bicep.

"It's a good thing we're only pretending," she stated, making her voice light. "Because even pretending you two are both scary guys."

It caught Tempest's attention and he broke away from his dark glare at Cloud, or 'Clash' rather, to look down at her with a smile.

"We're not that scary" he shrugged without letting go of her. "And I thought girls liked to have guys fight over them."

"Not when they're standing in the middle" Tifa joked and felt Cloud's fingers tighten on her bare skin, making her stomach do that funny little loss of gravity thing again.

"Smiling isn't 'dark romantic angsty love triangle'" the 'director' yelled.

"I don't know what 'angsty love triangle' is" Tifa protested helplessly. Cloud's chest was against her back now and it was very tempting to just lean back, just a little. Her body certainly remembered how comfortable and warm and nice that had felt yesterday. She was standing closer to Tempest than she'd thought too though and if her hand hadn't been against his chest, her own chest would have been. Tifa would be the first to admit that - sometimes, her chest got in the way. Tempest's white shirt and the metal pendent of his necklace made a strange contrast against her palm. She looked over at the girls taking the pictures, torn between laughing and feeling – well, a little flushed and thinking it was time to move away from the situation.

"Oh, perfect" Sai took another picture. "Now instead of doing 'torn and confused' can you look 'smug', Rita? I mean, you've got the two hottest guys in video game history holding you! Oh, that's great, Clash. Glare at the camera again!"

Tifa couldn't do it anymore and between the flush and the awkwardness and the embarrassment the sheer strangeness of the situation won out and she started to laugh.

"I'm sorry" she apologized as she covered her face with a hand. "I just – this is too weird."

Sai made a noise but 'don't' and Aerith were both grinning in amusement too. Yuffie bounced over to start pushing the trio apart.

"You're doing it wrong," she informed them with mirth. "We need more anime. Cloud, you stand there. Come on" she pushed him as if she was moving a bookcase until he was reluctantly standing where she'd told him. "Now Rita you come here and stand like this. Back to back and _lean_ up against him. Cloud, don't move or you'll make her fall. You can lean more, Rita, he's not going to make you fall. Lean more… Right – like that! Now Tempest you come over here like this and kneel right in front of them so you're kind of between them."

"Yuffie, that would make me sitting on his back!"

"So what? – oh, short skirt – sorry. Right – well, just kind of lean on Cloud a little bit more and put your hand on Tempest's shoulder like that for support. Can you rock back on your heels?"

"Why do I feel like I'm in the middle of a game of Twister?" Tifa muttered, feeling Cloud's back behind hers jerk in a grunt.

"Jello Twister?" Tempest asked unhelpfully because it made Tifa start laughing.

"Tempest, stop encouraging her. Put one of your hands over your knee. Other hand. That's better. Cloud, stop fiddling with your sword handle and put your hands in your pockets. You're sullen. Not glaring, Cloud, sullen. You know, moody. Different than your usual moody. Oo, Tempest, keep the cheek resting on the hand, that's great! Now grin. Rita, lay your head back against Cloud's back and roll your head so you're looking at us. Look… wistful."

"Smug."

"Confused."

"Torn."

"Just like that!" all three of the girls chorused as Tifa gave them a helpless, exasperated look. Her hand clamped fairly hard over Tempest's solid shoulder as she tried to keep her balance and she felt his own hand rise to rest over hers. Which she hoped was an 'all in this together' move and not a 'you're leaving dents in my shoulder bone' type of thing.

"I'm about to fall over" she told the girls taking the pictures through her teeth and felt Cloud shift. It did knock her off balance and she had a brief moment to feel accusatory toward Yuffie since she'd promised her brother wouldn't let her fall, when her body jarred up against Cloud's as he wrapped his arms around her to keep her upright. Through his shaggy blond hair she caught a glimpse of his eyes in the moment it happened and she felt a jolt straight down through the center of her. They were the most rolling, concentrated aqua blue she'd ever seen before, even on him, and it knocked the breath right out of her lungs.

"Cloud – " she didn't know why she said his name or why it came out the way it did, soft and – and gently reaching. Instinctive she wrapped her hands around him, fingers tangling in his shirt and in the fabric of his sleeve. And it wasn't to keep her upright but rather… rather why she wasn't sure. The muscles in his arms under her fingers relaxed a little and he settled her on her feet more firmly. Tifa was left feeling confused, as if she'd just missed something very important but couldn't touch what it was. Tempest rose to his feet with an easy smile and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, that was exciting" he remarked and it made Tifa smile. But her fingertips wouldn't seem to leave Cloud. "How did the pictures come out?"

Yuffie had been learning from 'Edward' Tifa had to admit as she looked at the pictures, everyone crowding around her and Cloud and Tempest to show them the various shots and angles. At least I don't look sappy this time, Tifa thought to herself. Panicked, confused, trapped, embarrassed, flushed – but not sappy. Tempest nodded in satisfaction at some of them and even Cloud exhaled a low sound over one or two while the girls chirped excitedly. Tifa tried to concentrate on the pictures but couldn't help but notice that Cloud's arm was still around her waist and he was still standing against her back and looking over her shoulder, blue eyes on the camera screens. On any other guy she would have labeled it possessive and found it annoying. And it might have been just a little bit possessive though Tifa couldn't imagine why but there was – something more to it. Something more to the way Cloud held her without either one of them admitting what he was doing. Tifa had the weirdest desire to hold him in her arms the way she did with Denzel sometimes. She felt the strangest desire to tell him... 'it's okay.' Which didn't make any sense at all.

Instead she slipped a hand down over Cloud's where it was resting against her waist while everyone around them talked. His fingers didn't part to let hers slip between them again – but he didn't let go or pull away either.

"Okay – email exchange." Tempest was fishing a copy of a flyer for the _Chandi Chowk To China_ movie screening out of his jacket pocket. "That way everyone can get everyone's pictures."

Aerith, the ever prepared, fished out pens for everyone and there was a concentrated scribbling of names and addresses on various pieces of loose paper. Tifa wrote hers several times. She noticed Cloud didn't write his at all, in fact, he didn't move or let go of her but Yuffie seemed to be doing enough talking and exchanging and writing for both of them. Tempest looked at the slip of paper in his hand and met Tifa's eyes with a smile, ignoring Cloud entirely.

"Tifa" he pronounced the name and the smile reached his eyes. "Now I don't have to call you 'Rita' anymore."

"My connection's slow," she warned. It was an expense she couldn't afford but it really did make a world of difference to Marlene and Denzel. Everyone was equal on the internet. Tempest nodded and his eyes met hers.

"It's okay. Email letters load a lot faster than pictures." He handed her a slip of paper. "There's mine. My real name's Leon. Drop me an email and let me know you survived the crazy fan girls at the convention." Tifa looked down at it curiously and he leaned in to check it. "That's my cell number too. That's a three, not a five." His eyes met hers. "Just in case."

She blinked at what she saw in his eyes.

"Thanks" she whispered and he smiled quietly and shrugged.

"Let me know" he reminded, tapping the paper, and then he was giving them a casual salute, touching two of his fingers to his forehead and heading off. A large black gloved hand took the piece of paper out of Tifa's and held it up for fierce scrutiny over her shoulder while Yuffie giggled.

"Oh, score!" Yuffie was cheerful. "Way to go 'Rita'. He was cute too."

Tifa snatched the paper back from Cloud, feeling her cheeks heating. Strangers and pointless banter was one thing – anything vaguely romantic or emotionally intimate was another entirely when it came to getting embarrassed.

"Don't you people have anything better to do?" she stepped away from Cloud and distracted herself with getting her own camera back and slipping the papers into its case. Yuffie laughed.

"Probably. But this is more fun" she answered shamelessly. "Here's my email address too by the way. And Cloud's – though he never answers his. And our cell phones in case you ever want to call."

Tifa took them with a chuckle and slipped that paper into the camera case too. Then she slipped her arm through Aerith's. Her best friend – and there was a reason 'best' was on the front of the job description - took the cue.

"Well, we've got to go" Aerith chirped with a smile. "I promised a friend I'd help him get in the right mind set to be a Malkavian and that can take a while if he hasn't had enough sugar."

"Hey, come by the costume competition this afternoon" Yuffie piped. "Edward and I have a skit worked out and everything!"

"Sounds like fun" Tifa agreed and was very careful, as they left, to avoid eye contact with blue eyes.


	8. Chapter 8: Family

Chapter 8: Family

"Stop humming."

Aerith looked over at her friend, large green eyes innocent. Which meant she was anything but.

"I'm not humming."

"Yes. You are." Tifa stated it factually. "You're mentally humming. I can tell."

"Well, can you blame me?" Aerith turned her head to give her friend a grin. "That's two cute guys in less than two days. And they were **nice** cute guys. Not the kind that hang around your dad's bar." She glanced down at Tifa's clothing. "You should wear mini-skirts more often obviously."

Tifa snorted a sound and shook her head.

"Stop teasing. You know this is just for the convention. Neither one of them would ever step foot anywhere near where I live normally."

Aerith stopped and caught Tifa's arm to draw her around and look seriously at her.

"You're wrong," she stated, green eyes impossible. "You're so really wrong, Teef. They'd come – if they knew it was where you were. They liked you. Really." She paused and cocked her head to look at her dark haired friend. Blinking in surprise. "And you know it. Why don't you want them to like you?"

Tifa shifted uncomfortably, making a slight face but Aerith had her wrist firmly. It wasn't often that Aerith went digging around in Tifa's personal baggage – so when she did, Tifa took it seriously and tried not to stop her. She exhaled instead and looked away at the sunshine coming in one of the large windows.

"I don't… I don't want the trouble. I don't – boys make everything so complicated. And everything's so complicated already. Sometimes" she pressed her lips together and then looked over at her friend. "Sometimes I don't think I can do a single thing more than I already am without falling apart or breaking in half or dropping everything, you know? And they were nice, both of them, but – it wouldn't last. Something would happen and – and I just can't – I can't handle one more person leaving me right now. Not now. Okay?"

She was surprised to find her throat tight as she admitted the last and she shut her eyes tight. Knowing that Aerith was going to give her the 'if you never try' speech or the 'not everyone leaves' platitude or the 'loved and lost' crap line everyone liked to feed people when they weren't going through it themselves. In her head, Tifa knew her reasons for avoiding getting involved with people weren't good or healthy ones. But her heart… it just couldn't handle one more crack in its surface right now. And she thought – right now – as unhealthy as it might be to stay alone – it would probably be disastrously more unhealthy to be with someone. Aerith surprised her, which shouldn't have surprised her, with a hug instead of a lecture.

"Well, than – I'm glad you've made me your friend" the brunette told her and Tifa gave a laugh that sounded close to tears and rubbed at her eyes while she held on to her friend desperately tightly with her other arm. She wasn't broken. Tifa didn't know if she could ever really break. But she was – wounded. Just for now. Tifa wasn't going to avoid relationships forever. Just… for now.

"I don't remember you giving me much choice" she joked and Aerith gave her another squeeze and then stepped back with a smile, lacing her hands behind her back as she tipped forward on her toes.

"Good ones never do" she chirped and then tipped her head. "Come on. They've got a live chess match. This year it's Clone Troopers vs. Jedi."

The Jedi won – mostly because they cheated, but a good time was had by all and afterward Tifa headed off to a lecture on armor through the ages while Aerith disappeared into an origami film demonstration. Tifa had already buried what Aerith had dug up by that point. It wasn't anything she hadn't already known and it wasn't anything she could change at the given moment – so it got buried. Besides, she was on vacation – the first in forever. Now wasn't the time for introversion.

She did however keep an eye on the time and slip out of the lecture to find a quiet place to make a phone call, timing it so that she'd call just before the kids got back from what passed for school. Another reason for the internet – Tifa refused to have what they were taught in school be the only knowledge her brother and sister had. As she'd hoped, Barrett picked up the phone and his voice, if anything, got even louder and more boisterous when he realized who it was.

"Hey, girl! Bout time you called. You havin' fun topside? Not gonna move in with some rich guy and leave us all down here, are ya?"

It made her laugh and his voice made her strangely homesick even though she'd only been gone a few days and it wasn't really all that far away. Just – down really. She cradled the phone against her cheek and leaned into the corner she'd found for privacy. Funny how she felt better in a huge building full of strangers than alone in a hotel room.

"How could I ever leave you, Barrett?" she teased. "Who would cook me breakfast?"

"It is true. I make a mean omelet," he agreed with a rolling laugh. And then, because he was her friend and knew her so well, he answered without having to be asked: "Your dad's okay, kiddo. He's complainin' that I'm not you. Don't know how you make him happy, he's so picky."

An old complaint and one she knew he meant but not in a hard way. She smiled.

"I'm irreplaceable, Barrett. Its just good to remind him sometimes."

"I know, baby girl. I don't know how you manage things. Everyone's askin' for you every night at the bar." He snorted. "Apparently the beer tastes different when its not you serving it."

It made her laugh and she tucked into the phone just a little more.

"How are Marlene and Denzel doing? Are they helping you?"

"Aw, you know those two, Teef. They run this place better than I do. You got some good kids there. Don't you worry about a thing. Everythin'll still be here when you get back. And hey – you havin' fun? Enjoyin' yourself? Nobody's bothering you are they? Cause you know I can just hop one of those trains and be right there."

It had her laughing again and put a warm glow in her chest.

"No ones bothering me but Aerith, Barrett. Everyone's just having a lot of fun and being friendly. And there's sunshine here. Good food too. Aerith won a competition she'd entered her art in and we had ice cream to celebrate. I'm going to try to find a way to bring some back for everyone."

"You're gonna spoil us all rotten. An' – hey, here's your boy. Denzel, get yer butt over here. Your sister's on the phone!"

"Which one?" she could hear Denzel's voice faking disinterest in the background and Barrett started to sputter –

"Which one do ya – you little smart ass!" as he caught on. "Jus' for that I shouldn't let ya talk to her."

But she heard the phone shifting and then Denzel's voice.

"Hey, Teef! Dad's fine. School sucks. I miss you, Marlene's bossy. And" she caught the way the voice rose so it could be overheard, "Marlene's got a boyfriend."

"I do not!" the protest was loud and vocal from the distance, followed by: "Who are you talking to? Is that Tifa? Let me talk to her!"

There was a scuffling sound and then Marlene's voice.

"I do not have a boyfriend. He's just a kid that wanted to carry my books home for me. I hit him."

"That's my girl" Tifa was laughing. Marlene huffed over the phone.

"Barrett says he'll scare him away if he comes back. Hey, are you taking pictures so I can see everything when you get home?"

"Yeah, lots of pictures" Tifa answered feeling soft and homesick again but not in a painful or bad way. "You'll like them. I even got a couple pictures of the Henchmen 21 and 24 from the Venture Brothers for Denzel." Tifa didn't even have to see it to know that both she and Marlene were rolling their eyes since neither one of them got what Denzel's fascination with the cartoon was.

"Do you – want to talk to dad?" Marlene sounded hesitant and Tifa shook her head before remembering that only voices carried over the phone.

"No. Its okay. Just tell him I called and checked in." Tifa loved her father, she really did. But – he had a way of making things – tarnished. And she didn't want this – this time, this adventure to have to be tainted by the way he'd talk about it. It was as if the black that was slowly eating away at his lungs had moved into his soul. Except… sometimes when she tried to remember how he'd been before he got sick… she thought he'd always sounded the way he did now.

"Okay" Marlene's voice was back to its usual energy level. "And when you get back – I'll show you. I'm learning how to make dinner. I'm not as good as you but Denzel actually ate my meat pie last night instead of trying to hide it long enough to throw away."

"It sounds good" Tifa agreed over the sounds of Denzel's protesting in the background. "I can't wait. Now go make sure you both do your homework. And don't stay up too late tonight. You know Barrett has no idea about your tricks to stay up past bedtime."

"Of course not" Marlene was cheerful. "Than they wouldn't be tricks anymore. Love you, Tifa. Come home soon."

"I will, sweetheart," she promised. "Tell Denzel – "

In the background Denzel's voice was piping his own love and reminding her about the banner. It made Tifa smile.

"Tell Denzel I love him too and I haven't forgotten."

The phone line went dead and Tifa stayed the way she was for a little longer. Just savoring the way hearing her family's voices had made her feel inside. She enjoyed getting out and she was enjoying her vacation away from responsibility but – they were her world. She could go out and do what she did because they were always there to come back to.

"Who's Barrett?"

Tifa jumped at the voice and spun around. Usually she always knew when there was someone close to her. It was just a natural instinct developed through the years of living in the slums under the Plate. Even distracted by her family, she should have noticed someone coming up behind her.

Close behind her, she realized as she practically found her nose buried in shirt and that made her eyes widen again. Her fists clenched in reaction but then her mind registered who it was.

Cloud.

It puzzled her that she wasn't more surprised. Raising her head she looked up at him and again, his blue eyes filled everything for a long moment.

"You said you leave your brother and sister with him." His low voice prompted her. "Who is he?"

"Barrett's a friend of the family. He's been around forever." She didn't usually answer personal questions and certainly not personal questions asked by people she hadn't even known for more than a couple of days. Her mind registered that it should have been a possessive question. One male checking out another male and the threat level. Her life was full of possessive men and she was always on guard against it. So why was she answering Cloud?

"He drives a truck. Freight between the cities. Whenever he's in town he stops and stays with us. He helps out around the place, fixing things."

It was because of the way he'd asked, she realized. Because of the way he was watching in curiosity now. Because – he'd asked as if it were the first thing that had come to mind and he didn't realize it might have been considered personal. The way children asked questions. Without any motivation but answering the 'why?' in their head. Cloud had asked the question with all the innocence of a child and Tifa had automatically responded to it by actually answering.

Cloud nodded at her answer and for a moment she had the oddest impression that he was consciously filing the information away.

He was also still standing – very close to her. She could smell him, that warm, clean smell that her nose was starting to recognize as 'safe' and 'familiar'. Tucked away in the corner she'd chosen there was no backing up or moving away from him unless Tifa learned how to melt through walls. One of his arms was raised, forearm against the wall, but it was more as if he'd been leaning there waiting for her to finish her call than done it to trap her. Again, as if he was unaware of personal space the way a child was, not as if he was male and hunting. How long had he been behind her? She wondered suddenly. How could she have not been aware of him?

Especially when she was so very aware of him now…

"Where's Yuffie?" she asked and realized she'd been staring into bottomless blue eyes again when they blinked. Speaking of children – she didn't seem to have the adult manners when it came to not locking eye contact. But than again – neither did he.

"She sent me to find you. She and Rikku – 'Edward' are putting the final touches on their skit for the contest and she wanted to make sure you would come."

"Cheering section?"

"She's nervous. You make her feel stronger." At her look, his eyebrows shifted slightly in a facial shrug. "Its what she told me."

"oh." Tifa wasn't sure how you were supposed to respond to that kind of thing. She supposed there was only one way to respond.

"Well, let's go" she answered with a smile.


	9. Chapter 9: Mysteries

Chapter 9: Mysteries

Cloud didn't walk through crowds the way most people did. Tifa noticed it as they headed toward the auditorium set aside for the cosplay costume skits. Most people either expected everyone else to move out of the way for them or else they dodged out of the way of other people. Dominant and submissive. It wasn't as obvious up here on the Plate the way it was below in the slums but Tifa was still aware of it. Cloud however didn't exactly do either and it took Tifa a little bit to realize what the difference was. He made eye contact with the people heading toward him. It should have been a little thing but most people, Tifa included, had developed the skill of looking at someone without actually looking in their eyes. Cloud however looked for eyes when he walked and it made people move to the side for him. The strange thing was – Tifa didn't think he was doing it to make people move out of the way or to prove he was dominant. It – he just seemed to do it. The way he'd asked his unselfconscious question about her personal life or the way he didn't seem to realize he shouldn't stand or sit as close to her as he did.

She hesitated to use the word 'innocent' to describe any male over the age of two, Denzel included. But – she couldn't think of a better word.

He was walking just half a step in front of her and a little to the side. Leading and being a kind of break for her against the people in the crowd that were going the opposite way. It saved Tifa from having to weave around bigger people and his pace was casual enough that she didn't have to hurry to keep up with him. Like he was intentionally matching his steps to hers so she wouldn't get left behind.

She told herself she was making it up – and didn't believe the thought in the least.

"You're from Wutai?" she asked, surprising herself. Usually she didn't ask personal questions any more than she answered them but – well, he'd started it. His head in front of her dipped once.

"I am now."

"But not always?"

There was a brief pause in him even though his movements didn't hesitate for an instant. She didn't interrupt the silence. Not even sure why she was asking.

"Not always" he finally answered and Tifa waited but he didn't offer anything else. Still – it didn't seem as if he was trying to shut her down so she asked:

"Where were you born?"

Again it was quiet in front of her for a long stretch.

"I'm – here. I think." His head turned, just enough for her to catch a glimpse of impossible blue over his shoulder for her as he slowly added: "I don't remember."

"oh" she stated it softly. The world had a lot of orphans that didn't know where they'd really been born. Or who their parents were. It would explain why Cloud and Yuffie didn't look at all alike, if Yuffie's parents had adopted Cloud when he was a child. Still, something about him made her not want to just jump to conclusions and so she asked:

"Yuffie's family adopted you when you were a kid?"

The edge of his lips twitched upward and he turned his head back to watch in front of them.

"Not really" his soft voice was amused. "I was almost sixteen."

Tifa couldn't help the smile that moved across her face.

"You're intentionally being mysterious, aren't you?" she asked and he made that coughing sound that signified laughter. His head shook, that barely there motion that made his blond spikes lightly sway.

"No." He stopped in front of the double doors and pushed one open, holding it for her to go through in front of him. His smile was quiet but it was in his blue eyes as well as he looked down at her. "It's not intentional."

She rolled her eyes at him with a smile as she slipped through in front of him. The auditorium, one of the smaller ones, wasn't full yet and Yuffie and Rikku/Edward were easy to spot in the corner of the room with their sweeping gestures and giggles. Tifa headed over that way, Cloud behind her and at her shoulder now that he didn't need to clear people out of the way for her.

"You came!" Yuffie spotted Tifa before she had even reached them and the younger girl bounded over to clutch at Tifa's hands, making Tifa smile as she gently squeezed Yuffie's hands.

"Well, you did invite me. And you sent your brother after me" she tipped her head in Cloud's direction and Yuffie grinned.

"He can find anyone," she stated proudly. "Anywhere."

"I believe you" Tifa cast Cloud a laughing look over her shoulder and saw it catch and then reflect in his eyes. She turned her attention back to Yuffie and Rikku.

"So are you both ready or did you want to run your skit past an impartial jury first?"

Yuffie looked pleased and embarrassed while Rikku just beamed.

"No, I think we're ready" Rikku offered. "We just wanted to pack the audience with as many friends as we could so when it's our turn they can scream really loud and influence the judges."

Tifa, veteran of multiple school plays and childhood exhibitions, smiled.

"I can do that" she nodded. "Where are the judges sitting so I can sit right behind them?"

Tifa soon found herself sitting in a filling auditorium. Cloud sat next to her and Yuffie had left her bag in the chair on the other side of her in case Aerith showed up. Two other girls, obvious friends of Rikku's and staunch supporters were sitting directly behind, talking happily in low voices. Apparently Cloud's hair had set them off and they were talking about another blond with shaggy hair one of them was apparently either already dating or intending to date as far as Tifa could tell from the snippets she'd overheard. Cloud either didn't hear it or ignored it. He'd again put an arm over the back of the chair Tifa was sitting in and – again – it was done in such a casual, normal way she would have actually felt awkward protesting it, like pointing out to a child that they were standing too close.

And yet, this close, Cloud hardly seemed like a child.

Yuffie and Rikku had disappeared back behind the makeshift curtains with the rest of the contestants and so Tifa turned toward Cloud.

"Tell me" she asked simply and for a moment, his blue eyes were blank. Then his brows shifted, pale, over them and his lips shifted down at their edges. It was too personal a question – Tifa mentally kicked herself and was just opening her mouth to apologize, realizing she'd finally overstepped the odd comfort zone they had with each other. Except he started talking.

"I was in the army. Shinra. I – Wutai – the Corporation wanted to build a reactor in Wutai. They - fought." His eyes were inward and his brows were knit over his eyes and Tifa noticed the way he hesitated over his words. Sympathetic, she laid her hand on his arm and his eyes met hers, sudden blue so concentrated it almost burned. "I – don't remember." His quiet voice confessed it as his eyes watched hers. "Not really. Just – bits. Yuffie says I saved her and so after we won – after Wutai lost – her father adopted me. A gesture of peace – and because of Yuffie."

It wasn't at all the story Tifa would have imagined and her eyes moved over his lean face. In answering her question he'd just given her about a dozen more. One side of her mouth twitched upward and she tapped her fingers against his arm.

"Are you sure you're not trying to be mysterious?" she teased and his smile broke like a sudden sunrise, washing away the tightness in his face.

"Promise" he told her and she had to resist the unexpected and inappropriate sudden desire to wrap him in her arms. Instead she just gave his arm a light squeeze and then took her hand back.

"Hey!" Aerith spun down into the seat next to Tifa in a sudden flurry and gave Cloud a grin. "Did I miss anything?"

Tifa gave Cloud a look, lips softening in a quiet smile but when she turned around to face her friend she shook her head with a smile.

"Just talking about Wutai." It wasn't that she wouldn't trust Aerith with everything and anything in the world. It was just… they were Cloud's stories and she didn't think they were the kind of thing he shared randomly. If he wanted to tell Aerith that was his choice. Not Tifa's.

"So when are we going?" Aerith wanted to know with a cheerful grin and Cloud made that sound in his throat that signified laughter.

"Maybe next vacation" Tifa answered. Not serious. It had taken her three years to save up for this vacation – well, any vacation. A trip to Wutai seemed like it might as well be a trip to the moon. Aerith was no richer than Tifa was but each year part of what she won in the competitions with her art was a free pass to next year's convention – a cheap but smart way to get good artists to return. She was also friends with the manager at the hotel they were staying at and had gotten them a rate so low that both of the girls could afford to split a room between just the two of them instead of rotating in and out of one with twelve other people. Aerith had friends in the strangest places, people just seemed to gravitate to the cheerful brunette.

"You could stay with Yuffie" Cloud offered quietly, apparently having no problem volunteering his sister. For just a moment, Tifa let herself think about that. Wutai had become a tourist center and was supposed to be beautiful. For just a minute she let herself think about whether she could save enough money for the trip there and back. Times three because if she went she'd want to bring her siblings. And then she'd need to feed them while she was there so that was more money. A souvenir or two plus gifts for their house hosts…

"Maybe some day" she offered without meaning it.

"Here we go" Aerith interrupted their mutual dream as the announcer, a large man dressed in a Card Captor outfit complete with tiny wings, stepped up to the microphone. Tifa settled back in her seat, comfortable thanks to Cloud's warmth, and let dreams of foreign places and escaping from under the Plate with her brother and sister slip away again. For now. She would make sure they escaped one day. They deserved sunshine.

Yuffie's skit was the third in the show and it started with 'Tini' and 'Edward' having a disagreement. Something about just how outdated his 'gold clown shoes' were. To decide who was right – they decided on a dance off. Which was funny enough but rapidly degenerated into flat out hysterical as they pulled out the worse dance moves known to man including the Cabbage Patch, the Robot, and even something Tifa hadn't seen since the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles movie that had featured Vanilla Ice. The song choice didn't help any either and before they'd even reached the end of their skit, half the audience were on their feet cheering as 'Edward' pulled the Running Man out for the win. Tifa was on her feet as well, cheering loudly with the rest and Cloud did his part with a whoop that was probably heard halfway across the convention center. Aerith let out a whistle that might just damage Tifa's hearing on that side for the next few days.

The last few skits got positive responses as well but there was really no question that the bizarre nature of Yuffie and Rikku's character lambasting skit was going to win. They got a standing ovation when they were called back up onto the stage for their award and 'Edward' seriously broke character by bouncing up and down and squealing. Afterward, the crowd of friends gathered around the two triumphant cosplayers and Tifa gave Yuffie a hug.

"That was hysterical," she was still laughing at the memory. "I wish had a video capture."

"I got it" Rikku's silver haired friend tipped a small camera in her hand and smirked. "Give me your email address and I'll send you the web site when I post it."

Another flurry as more email addresses and names were exchanged. If she had gotten absolutely nothing else out of this trip, Tifa was going to be able to entertain her brother and sister for months with the pictures and video from this convention. They all lived vicariously through each other in her family and everyone was happy to both be the observer and the carrier.

"Okay" Rikku's other friend spoke up. "Karaoke. Tonight downstairs. Who's going?"

"Come on, you've got to come" Rikku turned to the rest of them. "I can't sing but they're going to make me anyway. I need moral support."

"You mean someone to drag up there with you" her friend inserted and Yuffie laughed. Wrapped her hands around Cloud's arm.

"We'll come" she volunteered them.

"Us too" Aerith joined the conspiracy, leaving Tifa to simply sigh good naturedly. It looked like she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight either but that was all right. She'd rather not miss anything. She could sleep when she was home again.

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_Told you lot I'd update regularly. Don't worry we've apparently got a long way to go too. Reviews would be nice though - they feed my writer's soul and assure me people are actually reading these._


	10. Chapter 10: Karaoke

Chapter 10: Karaoke

"You're going to sing 'Extraordinary Way' right?" Aerith wanted to know as they walked to the room that had been set aside for the karaoke. Tifa gave her friend a smile but felt her cheeks pink just a little.

"I doubt they've got Conjure One on their playlist here" she answered. A little relieved. She could hit the notes of most Conjure One songs comfortably since her singing voice was a bit in the lower range. But… she had to... _slid_ her voice just a little and it made her feel a little – a little bit like a lounge singer, crooning. It was fine enough when she was surrounded by friends she loved and trusted or did it for her siblings to help them sleep but here -

"I thought I'd sing 'Kung Fu Fighting' or – " Tifa was interrupted as Aerith produced a music disk with a grin and waved it triumphantly in the air. Tifa gave it a look.

"Is that the CD from the bar?" she asked and Aerith just smiled. Tifa blinked.

"You're kidding me," she sounded less sure of it than she would have liked. "You dragged that thing all the way here in the off chance we'd be invited to karaoke?"

Aerith giggled and shrugged, rolling her eyes.

"They do karaoke every year, Teef" she informed her friend. "I was going to try to drag you to it anyway. Yuffie just beat me to it."

"Do they – let you bring your own music?" Tifa asked in vague sinking hope but Aerith just nodded cheerfully.

"Of course they do. There are too many weird songs out there that people want to sing."

"Shouldn't I be singing a weird song too?"

"No" Aerith shook her head. "The weird songs always go first and then things tend to settle down a little. We'll slip you in just before everyone gets too drunk to appreciate you."

Tifa's eyes narrowed at her friend. Feeling as if she'd walked into some kind of trap she should have seen coming. Aerith tipped her head and smiled.

"Oh, come on, Teef. You do this all the time at the bar. And the people here are probably less likely to catcall too. You sound good when you sing Conjure One songs. Denzel's got a bad copy of you doing 'Extraordinary Way' he listens to when you're not home at night and I'm baby sitting."

"Really?" Tifa hadn't known that and could only imagine how he'd managed to record her. Aerith just nodded.

"Besides, its your song, Tifa" her face softened along with her voice. "It fits you and I think you should sing it for our new friends."

Tifa gave her a sideways look but – when Aerith's voice softened like that it meant she was serious and so Tifa took whatever she said in that tone seriously. Even if she thought Aerith was making too much out of it.

"Okay" she agreed. "But only if it fits in with everything else."

It made Aerith grin and she linked her arm through Tifa's as they strode into the temporary bar/lounge that had been set up.

Yuffie wasn't there yet but Rikku and her girl friends were and so Tifa and Aerith got enthusiastic waves to come and join the large table they'd already claimed. Aerith scooted into the booth first and Tifa followed. The singing was already starting and onstage a cowboy, a plumber and a – Tifa wasn't sure what the last one was but it included a lot of pink feathers – were singing 'YMCA' and Rikku was already in the mood, doing the hand and arm motions along with the singers on stage. Tifa looked around and saw that it was a good-natured crowd at this point. There were a couple of waitresses serving drinks and she didn't know how things would go as the night got drunker but it wasn't anything she wasn't used to judging so she wasn't worried. She ordered a cranberry juice when the waitress got to their table. Living in a bar – Tifa had seen enough to never want that for herself. Aerith got up to go talk to the dj and Tifa asked:

"Do they do this every night?"

"Pretty much" Rikku grinned. "It'll be hysterical by the last night but for now it's pretty calm. Yuna" she gestured to one of her friends, "brings down the house with her 'Womanizer' on the last night every year."

"Are you singing tonight?" Tifa asked the other girl hopefully and the short haired brunette nodded cheerfully.

"Oh yeah. I'm debating between 'Poison' and 'Real Gone'."

The difference in styles made Tifa laugh just as Yuffie arrived with a – _cautious_ would be the word Tifa thought to apply – Cloud in tow.

"We made it!" Yuffie chirped and started to slide onto the bench next to Tifa before jumping back up. "Oh! Drinks first!"

"Soda" was Cloud's one word response and Yuffie made a face.

"I know, I know. You get soda."

Cloud's blue eyes looked calmly at his sister.

"**You** get soda" he clarified. Yuffie pulled a face. Cloud's eyes didn't blink or shift and finally she huffed and turned on her heel to head to the bar. Cloud sat down next to Tifa and watched his sister.

"Oo, **big** brother" Rikku snickered and Cloud turned his head just enough to acknowledge it.

"She's going to be bad enough with the sugar kick," he stated calmly. "You don't want to see her drunk."

"Back!" Aerith dropped down onto the bench on the other side of Cloud, giving him a grin of greeting that made her cheeks dimple and he nodded in response, edges of his lips shifting in a smile.

"So are you singing?" Yuna wanted to know and Aerith shook her head.

"I can't sing. I hum and that's all I'm allowed to do. For everyone's safety. Tifa's going to sing."

At the looks, Tifa tucked her chin a little. Embarrassment on the edges but she pushed it firmly aside. Everyone here was too friendly to feel embarrassed around, she told herself firmly.

"Aerith convinced me. Or forced me" she answered and heard the sympathetic laughter. Yuffie came back at that point and plopped into the seat next to Rikku's silver haired friend, pushing a glass of dark soda across at Cloud. She had an identical glass in her hands. Cloud leaned forward to take the glass in her hands and slid the one she'd just given him back to her. Then he sat back in his seat with the liquid as Yuffie blinked and the looks that flickered through her eyes had Tifa, oldest sister to two rather clever pranksters, stifling her own laughter. Cloud took a long swallow of his drink, eyes not leaving his sister's.

"Too much syrup" he commented and Yuffie's face tightened in a brief look before she gave him a pout and sipped at her own drink. Tifa wrapped her fingers around Cloud's hand and pulled the drink over to her when Yuffie and Rikku got distracted looking at the playback on the silver haired girl's recorder. Sniffed. Smelled rum mixed in with the dark soda and chuckled. Cloud looked down at her and the edges of his lips were shifted upward in response. Comfortable he shifted his free arm to the back of the seat behind her.

"She's still my little sister. Some things just seem to come automatic with the job description."

"Eyes in the back of your head" Tifa agreed.

The 'YMCA' had been replaced with a group singing the 'Lumberjack Song' and now new music started. 'Brother oh Brother' by Mans Zelmerlow and Aerith perked up.

"Hey, isn't that 'Tempest'?" she asked and Tifa turned her head to look as Yuffie made happy noises and proceeded to, in highly over dramatic fashion Tifa thought, explain how they knew the dark haired man that was singing on stage. Who was having a bit too much fun with the song, including adding hand motions and a sway that fit the mood of the crowd. He was grinning as he sang it and, to the delight of the crowd, pulled a double take as he noticed the group of girls at the table – or rather – noticed Tifa. He shaded his eyes and then pointed and waved. Which had everyone turning to look as he belted out the lines:

"Believe me, brother oh brother,

she will break your heart

leave her tonight - "

Tifa felt her cheeks go pink. Not exactly the song she would have chosen to be pointed out during but it was more being pointed out at all than for the words. Rikku, on the other side of her, nudged her with a laugh.

"He's cute" she approved.

"He gave her his phone number" Yuffie stated. "Said he wanted her to call him."

Tifa gave her a look for being unhelpful but Yuffie just gave her a cheeky grin in response and then, when he finished his song, waved him over to join them. He slid into the seat next to Yuffie and smiled at her and then at each of the girls as she introduced them.

"You have a really nice voice" Yuna complimented him and Leon shook his head, looking away for a second. His eyes slid back and to Tifa, he looked just the littlest bit embarrassed.

"It was a bet. I lost. I'm not much of a singer."

"You sounded very nice" Tifa volunteered and he gave her a smile.

"I'm glad you think so. I was actually hoping I sounded horrible so my friends would never think of suggesting that kind of thing again." He pointed to a nearby table where several guys waved back. He shrugged as he turned back and leaned forward on the table a little to meet Tifa's eyes. "Could be worse. All I had to do is sing. Tomorrow Sora's going to be attending in a dress."

Tifa stifled a laugh behind her hand.

"Remind me to never make bets with you" she teased and he grinned.

"I'd be gentle with you," he answered and next to her, she felt Cloud shift.

"Do you live around here?" the blond asked the man across from him.

"Oh! My turn!" Yuna, instead of making everyone move, simply climbed over the back of the booth, much to the approval of the rest of the crowd. The Thundaar cosplayer that had been singing 'I'm Too Sexy for My Pants" finished to much cheering and catcalls and then Yuna scrambled up on to the stage. She'd gone with Sheryl Crow instead of Alice Cooper apparently and the second she opened her mouth, Tifa realized she was in the company of a real pro. Before the first verse was even done, Yuna had the bar entirely in her hands and while she swayed and sashayed across the stage, they responded cheerfully.

"Hollow Bastion" Leon answered Cloud's question. "But I come to Midgar all the time on business. You?"

"Here." Cloud's voice was calm. And flat. Tifa took his drink out of his loose grip and took a swallow of it.

"It's my turn soon" she responded to their surprised looks for different reasons with a chipper smile. "I'm not used to singing in front of a crowd like this. Usually its just my brother and sister."

And the bar but she wasn't going to bring that up. It wasn't part of the distraction technique she was aiming for. Leon's eyes left Cloud to focus on her.

"You lose a bet too?" he asked and she relaxed a little and shook her head with a smile.

"I have evil friends. I don't have to lose bets," she pointed to Aerith. And then Yuna finished her song to loud cheers and applause, which Tifa joined in. She just hoped there were enough people in between her and the other girl so people wouldn't remember and judge her against the singer. Yuna bounced back over to the group and sat down next to Leon. Her face was flushed and she was glowing. Rikku reached over several people to ruffle her short hair.

"I can't believe you don't do that for a living" Tifa told her with a grin. "You're amazing!"

Yuna shrugged but she was smiling widely.

"It's fun. I don't know if it would be fun if I had to do it all the time."

"Aerith says the same thing about her art" Tifa pointed out and for the next few songs the table was full of talk of habits, hobbies, and art, written, sung, drawn, and played. Then Aerith was leaning over Cloud to tap Tifa's hand with a smile full of faith.

"You're next" she told her and this time Tifa took another sip of Cloud's drink for herself instead of anyone else. He looked at her with his quiet, watchful eyes and she pushed at him with her fingertips. She wasn't about to crawl over the seat like Yuna had, even though she had made a trip back to the hotel room to change into pants instead of the mini-skirt. He moved and Tifa found her feet and shot Aerith a momentarily panicked look. Her best friend gave her one of those special smiles of hers that promised everything would be all right. Because it was Aerith, and only because it was Aerith, Tifa believed her.

The music started as she took the stage and she took the microphone from the last singer with a grateful smile. He gave her a wink and disappeared back into the room. Tifa closed her eyes as the familiar music played and told herself she was back in her father's bar on a slow night singing for Aerith and Barrett and Denzel and Marlene to pass the time. The image made her smile and luckily that was all she had time for before the right beat came up and she let herself sing the words she knew so well she didn't have to think about them.

"What I have is nothing to my name.

No property to speak of

and no trophy for my game.

Intangible and worthless

my assets on a page.

My coffers are empty and the offer of safety has faded away

what I have

what I have… is…

On an ordinary day the extraordinary way

you take what I can give and you treasure it.

On an ordinary day the extraordinary way

you turn to me and say I believe in this."

Her voice grew more sure and she let it 'slid' along with the music as she settled into the familiar pleasure of it. She was no professional, would never reach Yuna's level if she practiced for a million years – but that was all right. This was for fun and she enjoyed singing. So she could open her eyes as she sang the next verse and look at Aerith at the table with a smile in her eyes.

"And that makes me lucky

God, I'm lucky

So much luckier than I ever thought I'd be.

Cause what I have

means so very little to this world

A promise that I kept and a bridge that I saved before it burned

Sacrifice that I made that brought me to my knees

The choice that cost me everything and set somebody else free -

But what I have…

is the value that you see in these things…"

Her friend had her hands clasped in front of her and was smiling back, tears in her eyes. The way she always had tears in her eyes when Tifa sang this song. Because – she understood. That's why they were friends. Tifa sang through the chorus and felt the familiar buoy in her heart that she always got from the song.

"And every time I forgot those things you bring them right back to me -

with your patience

when I'm blinding mad

and your passion

when I'm really, really bad

and your eyes - "

Without meaning to Tifa's eyes shifted from the safety of her friend's face – and focused on the impossible blue beyond that. Mistake – mistake! – because she couldn't look away once she did and Cloud didn't look away either.

"taking in everything I am

and your body and soul and the way that you know how I treasure you."

The words came without her having to think about them and it was only after they were sung that she realized how it would seem – locking eyes with a guy and singing words like that. She felt her cheeks flame and was grateful that the chorus was next and she could sing it without thinking. Quick she concentrated on Aerith again which was only partially helpful since her best friend looked like she was stifling a grin.

Tifa did manage to finish the song without making a mistake but it was mostly because the song was pretty much over. She got applause, which made her cheeks pink in pleasure but she hastily handed the microphone over to the next girl in line and exited the stage without reluctance.

It didn't help that the next singer had chosen the song 'In Your Eyes' by Sylver.

Tifa squeezed into the seat next to Aerith and her friend wrapped an arm around her and gave her a tight hug.

"You were beautiful."

It made Tifa breath a laugh but it was in gratitude.

"That was amazing!" Yuffie leaned across the table. "You should sing a duet with Yuna tomorrow night!"

"oh no!" Tifa raised her hands with a laugh. "That was it for me. One shot and no pushing my luck."

Yuna grinned.

"You've got a lucky brother and sister. I would have loved to grow up listening to you singing."

"I'm getting you a drink" Yuna shuffled out of the way so Leon could announce it as he stood up, giving Tifa a smile. "That deserves some kind of reward. Name your poison."

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_that's right. Since I'm spoofing/paradoying I had to stick in a songfic too (next thing you know I'll be locking people in closests). Well, that and the 'teaching Cloud to dance' vid on YouTube. And huzzah for Leon getting a shout out! Poor guy._


	11. Chapter 11: Bartending

Chapter 11: Bartending

"You should have hit him up for something really fancy" Yuffie told Tifa as Leon headed to the bar and Tifa laughed.

"I don't want anything fancy," she told the younger girl and Yuffie made a face, eyes twinkling.

"You could have given it to me."

Cloud made a throat noise and Yuffie just stuck her tongue out at him.

"You're here, Cloud. How bad could anything be that happened to me if I got a little buzzed?"

"I'd have to put up with you," her big brother answered mildly which made the rest of them laugh.

Aerith nudged Tifa and when her friend looked at her she tipped her chin to gesture toward the bar.

"You find that familiar?" Aerith asked and Tifa watched for a minute.

The bar was busy. Crowded. There was a lone tender behind the counter and a waitress that was helping him as best she could between orders but after watching a long minute, Tifa thought the girl didn't know what she was doing very well. But at least she was helping and that counted for something as the other waitresses zipped up and then had to wait for the drinks to be mixed. Usually one tender would have been okay but Tifa suspected people were ordering fancier drinks than usual because it was a party atmosphere. Leon was standing in the crowd waiting for his own order. Tifa watched a minute longer while the girls around her chatted about the latest movies and then she gave Aerith's hip a nudge.

"I'll be right back, okay?" she told her friend and then slipped out of the booth and made her way to the bar. And around to behind the bar. The harried waitress gave her a look, half defensive, half helpless as Tifa tapped her shoulder.

"Let me" Tifa told her and the girl, probably at her wit's end and not sure whether Tifa was hired help or not, simply nodded and handed over the slip of paper she was trying to make sense of. Tifa took it, read it and nodded. Her father's bar flies weren't much for mixed drinks but she knew how to make them easily enough for the out of towners.

In short order, Tifa had pushed up her mental sleeves – not that the midriff top and vest had sleeves - and soon was up to her elbows in drinks, liquor and strange Star Trek sounding orders. By the time the real tender noticed her she was already sliding drinks across counters and setting them on waiting trays and he probably figured it was too good a break to mess up by asking. Tifa didn't mind. It made her feel useful and she knew from experience what being over worked by a bunch of buzzed people was like. As much as she was on vacation it just wasn't in her to watch someone else struggle when she could help.

Turning from filling a tray to send back out, Tifa jerked when a hand closed over her wrist on the bar. The owner of the hand that had done it was a heartbeat away from broken fingers when she realized it was Leon and he was giving her a slightly exasperated smile.

"I came over here to get a girl I'm flirting with a ginger ale. But I think she's just ditched me to mix drinks."

It made Tifa laugh and it made her cheeks go pink at the same time. He freed her wrist and she went back to pulling out beers and popping the tops off of them with easy efficiency.

"She sounds like a flutterer. Maybe you should flirt with someone else."

Leon shook his head with a smile and settled on a stool at the bar.

"No. I think she's pretty special. Weird. But pretty special."

He really did have the heat in her cheeks now and Tifa ducked her head, busying her hands with mixing clear liquor and fruit punch together.

"Go away" she told him with a smile. "You're distracting me and I'm going to get someone's order wrong."

"You planning on working the rest of the night?" he asked and she shook her head.

"Just until things calm down here."

"I'll be over with my friends" he jerked his thumb toward the table of guys he'd pointed out earlier. "Come say hello when you get done here."

Tifa nodded and he slipped off the stool with a smile and disappeared.

Then it was back to filling drinks, exchanging cheerful banter with the people that came up to get their own orders, cleaning away what was left on the bar top, sending out beers and endless plastic cups of mixes – just the usual routine of running a bar, Tifa thought as she fell into the pattern. Dix was the name of the bartender she was working with and once he realized she knew what she was doing, he let her cover one side of the bar while he covered the other. After a little while, he lightly jostled her elbow.

"Hey, feel free to pop open a soda or a water or something, no charge."

She gave him a grateful smile and reached for a water.

"Is it always this busy?" she asked and he chuckled.

"Only when the bartender is cute and flashing her stomach."

Tifa gave him a startled look and he shrugged.

"I'm not complaining. But your side of the bar is a lot busier than mine if you pay attention. Your tip jar is fuller than mine too but I'm still doing better tonight than I did last night."

Tifa took the top off the water and took a good long drink. Thinking.

It wasn't shocking. Or even a surprise for that matter. She knew there were people that came into her dad's bar just because she was there. They liked the way she made them feel as if they were important in a world where no one was important. Tifa looked over at the tip jar he'd pointed out and she hadn't noticed before.

"Do I get to keep whatever's in the jar?" she asked and Dix looked at her as she ignored the customers waiting to order drinks. It was a measuring look and Tifa returned it head on. He shook his head with a sudden grin.

"Sure. You're helping me out and you didn't even ask what it got you when you started. You keep them coming, I'll let you keep what's in the tip jar on your side."

Tifa broke into a bright grin. It was only because she was a professional and he recognized that as his equal. But it was true too – she hadn't expected anything when she'd started helping. A little extra gil would go a long way for her.

"Deal" she shook his hand and set her water under the counter to turn back to the customers in front of her. "Who's next?" she asked with a bright smile.

True to form, the singing quality went downhill as the night went on and everyone got a little more drunk. Rikku came by with her friends on the way out the door to grin and tell her they'd see her tomorrow. Tifa was in the process of mixing up a Cosmo mudslide when she caught a movement from the corner of her eye at the end of her side of the bar and glanced over without breaking the motions her hands were going through.

Blond hair.

Cloud.

She handed over the drink and shifted down the bar to rest her elbows on the counter in front of him.

"What can I get for you, stranger?" she asked with a smile and his own lips curved in answer to hers.

"Water."

She slipped him the water and refused his gil. If Dix charged her for a water, she could treat out of the tip jar. Then she went back to her work. But the next time she glanced over –

Blond hair.

"Something else?" she asked in puzzlement and he shook his head.

"Just sitting" he answered and she gave him a curious look. Glanced over at the booth they'd been sitting at.

"You're leaving Yuffie alone in a room full of guys that will buy her drinks?" she asked and he coughed a laugh, tucking his chin.

"She's with your friend. They wanted to dance."

Tifa followed his glance and saw Aerith and Yuffie enjoying themselves in the corner that had become a dance floor. It made her smile. Yes, Yuffie would be plenty safe with Aerith. The delicate looking brunette was a lot tougher than she appeared. Especially when it came to her friends. Tifa's fingers had slipped over of their own accord to rest on Cloud's wrist as his hand rested on the bar and she gave it a light squeeze before pulling her hand back.

"You're right. Yuffie's fine with Aerith." Then she gave him a wink as someone else called for her attention and she went back to work. But for the rest of the evening she was aware at the corner of her vision of Cloud sitting at his station at the end of her bar. She also noticed that the drunks behaved themselves better too even though she never caught Cloud actually doing anything.

Toward the end of the night, Leon was leaning on her bar again.

"Your friend really shouldn't drink any more Sliders," she told him with a trace of humor and he gave her a wry look.

"That's kind of the problem. We're going to carry him back to the room now so I've got to go. Are you going to be around tomorrow?"

Tifa knew she shouldn't be encouraging him. She'd meant what she'd told Aerith. She had no intention of ever seeing him after the convention. _After _the convention. But – going to convention was about being someone else, wasn't it? For just one more day, couldn't she…?

"Yeah" she told him with a smile, feeling her cheeks heat and he grinned.

"I'll find you tomorrow then" he told her, backing up as he watched her until he turned around. Tifa felt embarrassed and flattered and – with a shake of her head she went back to cleaning off the bar top.

"When do you leave to go home?"

The voice caught her off guard a bit and she dropped the napkins she'd been lifting down to the trash. Leaning over she scooped them up.

"Tomorrow night. Last train." Mentally she cringed as soon as the confession was out of her mouth but when she glanced up Cloud didn't seem to have registered, or perhaps just already knew, that she lived below the Plates. He nodded, watching her and she felt herself relaxing again. Dix made a shooing motion as he walked over.

"We're good now. You take your gil and get out of here, Tifa. And hey – you ever want a job – "

"I know" she nodded with a smile. "Dix's Dicey Catering. I'll remember."

"You'd better" he warned and then gave Cloud a smile. "She's a good girl you've got yourself there. Better take care of her."

Before she could recover from the shock of realizing just what Dix was assuming, Cloud was simply nodding calmly.

"I know."

She gave Cloud a look and he shrugged, picking up her tip jar as he stood up and held open the pass through for her with his other hand.

"Is it easier to nod or to try to explain?" he asked and she gave him a sideways look. Though he was right. Dix really didn't need to know and explaining would have just taken too much time. Especially since she wasn't even sure how she'd try to explain Cloud. Instead she focused on –

"Aerith?"

Cloud led her over to a corner booth. Aerith was curled up asleep on one bench and Yuffie was sprawled out and the same on the other. Tifa had to bit her lip to keep from smiling. Instead she squatted down next to her friend and gently shook her shoulder.

"You didn't have to wait for me," she told her friend and Aerith sat up with a blurry smile and rubbed at her eyes before yawning.

"Yes, I did" she answered simply.

"Here" Cloud handed Tifa her tip jar and leaned over to scoop his little sister up in his arms. She looked even smaller that way than she usually did. Without a word, the three of them headed out in companionable silence, Cloud falling into step on the other side of a still slightly bleary Aerith. He walked them all the way back up to their hotel room and if he'd been anyone else, Tifa would have been leery about letting him know where she was staying. But – it was Cloud. For some reason she couldn't shut him out. It was the strangest thing and all the more strange because it felt so normal to have him nearby. A nod was his only good night and then he was walking back the way he'd come with a still sleeping Yuffie in his arms. Aerith watched him go next to Tifa who was doing the same.

"He's – different. Isn't he?" her friend wanted to know and Tifa nodded as she pulled her into the room and shut and bolted the door.

"I like him" Aerith decided as she headed for her bed. "He's good for you."

"And just think – he hasn't even tried to slip anything into my drink yet" Tifa teased.

A thrown pillow was reply enough.

-------

_thanks for the reviews. Pats on the back are good for my little author ego. And especially thanks to Horky - both for the detailed review (heaven!) AND for letting me play around with her idea in the first place. _


	12. Chapter 12: Last Day

Chapter 12: Last Day

Tifa let herself sleep in the next morning, waking up just enough to give Aerith a groggy smile as her friend left for the day. Given a choice, Tifa thought she might have liked to be a night owl but she'd never really had the choice, or the opportunity, to find out for sure. Still, sleeping in was a rarity at home and so, even though it meant she was going to miss some of the early morning events, Tifa took the chance when it was given, pulling the pillow over her head and tucking into a ball under the covers.

It felt like heaven and no one woke her up coughing or trying to be quiet or banging on the door.

For her last day she just put on pants and a shirt. 'Rita' only had two outfits from the movie and Tifa was planning on doing a lot of running around today anyway. Mini-skirts weren't meant for that kind of thing.

She'd made a pretty decent amount of gil from her stint the night before. It made her think. People tipped better at parties and conventions and Dix did catering so that meant all he did was parties and conventions. She couldn't leave her father's bar but maybe… maybe, after – after – when she didn't need to keep dad's bar running for him anymore… maybe, just maybe, she might be able to make enough to move her and her siblings upside. If she worked her tail off for Dix and he helped her find a really cheap, really small, really run down place to stay… It was only an idea, a dream, but it was something she filed away in the back of her mind for the future. She loved her friends where she lived and there were parts of living there that she enjoyed.

But the kids deserved something better. They deserved sunshine for instance. Tifa was going to find a way to give it to them. Somehow.

For the moment though she tucked her money in her pocket and packed up her single bag. Since they were leaving late tonight the room had to be checked out of early. Nicely enough though Aerith's friend had offered to let them keep their luggage behind the front desk counter until later that night. It beat carrying it around the convention all day or trying to fit it in a rented locker.

Out of old habit, Tifa did a careful double check of the room to make sure they hadn't left anything behind before she let herself out and turned in the key as well as her bag. Then, feeling both lighter and a little bit sad at the thought of it being the end of her grand adventure, she headed over to the convention center.

First thing was the _Firefly_ 'round table'. She sat in the audience and enjoyed listening to the actors tell stories about their time working on the program and then she stood in line for what felt like forever to get an autographed picture of her sister's favorite character/actor. He was friendly and open though and so it wasn't so bad getting to listen to him talk while she waited in line.

The actor was certainly more polite than the character that was for sure.

It took longer than she'd intended however and so she had to bolt once she was finished, dashing all the way across the center to get to the promo for the latest _X-Men: Origins_ showing. Aerith had saved her a seat though and she slid in just before the lights went dark. They stayed in their seats and chatted afterward while the seats filled up again and they set up the showing of the latest Miyazaki movie. Then they stopped by the food court and bought something to eat while they headed for the sellers' booths. Aerith had found the banner dealer from last year and Tifa spent what was probably too long fingering through the offerings before finally deciding on a red lion like creature with a flame tipped tail on a deep yellow background. It looked – noble to Tifa and she thought it would appeal to Denzel. Her brother liked to pretend he didn't care as much as he did but Tifa knew that not far below the careless exterior Denzel had had to put up to keep from being picked on by the kids his age, he dreamed of being – more. A hero. Noble. A protector of innocents and a righter of wrongs. Tifa understood that and encouraged it in him whenever she could. So he got the noble looking lion like creature.

Marlene already had her picture but because of the extra money she'd earned, Tifa bought her a crown of ribbons and dried flowers too. That had been meant to be the extent of her purchases but Aerith dragged her over to a jewelry booth and Tifa was lost when her friend held up a pair of white moonstone earrings.

"Do you like them?" Aerith asked and Tifa, despite herself, held the long teardrops up to her ears in the mirror the dealer provided. They dangled cheerfully and looked feminine and delicate. They made Tifa feel… girly. Which wasn't something she usually had the chance to feel. With a sigh, Tifa reluctantly set them back down. She just couldn't justify buying herself jewelry. Aerith caught them up immediately and handed them to the dealer.

"We want them," she told him firmly and Tifa protested.

"No. We don't. They're nice but I can't – "

"I can" Aerith told her firmly, reaching down to pull up her purse. "I knew they were meant for you but I wanted to see your face before I bought them."

"Aerith" Tifa put a hand on her friend's wrist. "I can't wear those."

Aerith gave her a soft smile.

"Yes, you can, Teef. They're not so expense you have to worry about being mugged. And they look so perfect on you. I want you to have them and I want them to be a gift from me. So you'll think of me whenever you wear them." She found her wallet and counted out the gil. It hardly left her with anything.

"There. See?" Aerith held out the bag the dealer handed her. "Now I'm happy too."

"You're rotten" Tifa told her, pulling her into a tight hug. It made her heart swell and feel as if it were breaking at the same time. Only sweet, silly Aerith would think of buying her something pretty and useless. And yet Tifa couldn't stop herself from putting the earrings on right then and there much to her best friend's delight.

"In that case, I'm treating to dinner tonight" Tifa stated and Aerith nodded with a grin.

"You bet you are."

"There you are."

Tifa looked over at the sound of the voice to see Leon cutting past a table to join them. She was struck with a moment of embarrassment – simply because he was a guy paying attention to her in a way that wasn't the 'flirt because I'm drunk' way.

"Here I am," she agreed with a nod and Aerith waved a hand in greeting as well when he gave her a nod.

"I thought you might have snuck off last night and not planned on finishing out the convention" Leon met her eyes when he said it and Tifa felt her cheeks heat again. It wasn't as if she wouldn't necessarily have.

"No. I'm here," she answered and he gave her a smile. "But I won't be here tomorrow" she felt compelled to tell him now that he'd called her on the trick. He nodded and his smile went a little crooked.

"You're not planning on calling me, are you?"

Caught again, Tifa shifted a little on her feet.

"It's that blond, isn't it? He beat me out." He didn't ask it with malice but the simple question itself startled Tifa.

"Cloud? No! It's not – I don't – "

Leon held up a hand to tell her she didn't have to stumble over her words anymore and grinned.

"Good. As long as it's not some other guy I can work with that. Even if it was another guy I could work with that; I'd just want to know. How about this? You give me your cell phone number and I'll call you."

Before she could stop herself, Tifa asked:

"Why are you doing this?"

His quiet smile reached his eyes.

"Being persistent? Because I don't want to not see you again. I'm not ready for that yet."

It made something in Tifa's chest go weak and funny and she gave him a helpless look. He responded with a soft smile and she thought she saw a little of the real him peeking out past the face he put on for everyone.

"It can't hurt. If you decide you don't want to talk to me, you just don't answer my calls when they come in." He shrugged. "And who knows? Maybe you'll want to talk to me when I call instead."

"Do you have a pen?" Tifa asked weakly and he grinned and borrowed one from the jewelry dealer along with a card to write on the back of. Then he was gone with her phone number and a wink for her and Tifa was looking helplessly at Aerith as the dealer behind them smirked.

"What am I doing?" she asked her friend and Aerith just grinned and linked her arm through Tifa's.

"I think you're starting to live a bigger life than you were" she answered with a smile and started them walking to the next exhibition.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. An exciting and enjoyable blur but a blur all the same and before she knew it, she and Aerith were leaving the convention center for the last time. Tifa turned her head to look at the building as they walked away from it. She'd seen Rikku and her friends. She'd even seen the two fan girls that had insisted on pictures with 'normal Rita'. She'd had fun – more fun in the past couple of days than she'd imagined and she'd felt free of responsibility and worry. It had been like a wonderful dream…

"I saw Yuffie this morning but I haven't seen him all day" Aerith commented and Tifa looked away from the building to look at her. On the edge of asking 'who?' – except it would be lying. She knew who Aerith was talking about.

"It's okay" Tifa told her. "He knew I was leaving today." At least she didn't have to feel guilty about sneaking out on him. If she hadn't had a chance to say a real goodbye… well, that was probably for the best anyway – and she had the address to Yuffie's website. She could look at pictures there…

Why she would want to look at pictures of him, Tifa was just starting to decide might not be something she wanted to think about too closely as she pushed open the door to the hotel lobby.

And saw blond shaggy hair near the front desk.

"Cloud – "

He raised his head from where his chin had been resting on his chest and straightened away from the wall, uncrossing the arms from across his chest. His eyes, impossible blue, met hers and stayed there. Tifa had the oddest urge to reach out and touch him and stopped herself before she could start reaching.

"What are you doing here?"

The edges of his lips shifted upward.

"Going to the train station," he answered simply. Tifa blinked at him and then her eyes narrowed and she put her hands on her hips.

"Now that's silly," she stated flatly. He just looked at her with quiet amusement in his eyes.

"We don't need an escort" she tried again and the amusement stayed in his eyes as he reached down and picked up the two bags Aerith had just retrieved from behind the desk. The hotel clerk watched with unconcealed interest.

"I'm just walking to the train station," Cloud stated calmly. "Its not my fault if you're headed that way too."

Tifa pressed her lips together. She was tempted to tell him they weren't going after all. But the last train was leaving soon and they couldn't afford to stay another night in the hotel. She knew it was just sheer stubbornness that wanted her to protest. It was no big deal if he wanted to walk them to the station. Except… except it was thoughtful and protective and unexpected and – and it was too gentle and kind and sweet to be directed at her. Gentle and kind and sweet would only get her in trouble if she learned to think it was normal. Cloud was watching her with patient eyes and she shook her head, the smile touching the edges of her own lips.

"You're as rotten as Aerith" she told him and he looked at the brunette with a mild smile.

"We must be in good company," he told her and Aerith giggled.

"We are," she agreed before adding: "But we'd better go or we're going to miss the last train."

Cloud wasn't talkative walking to the train station beneath the street lights and Tifa would have been suspicious if he was. The silence didn't seem to bother him though and Tifa found it strangely comfortable. He walked between her and Aerith, both of their bags tossed over one of his shoulders. At the train station, Aerith and Tifa showed their ID and bought tickets after their cards had been cleared. The trains were the only mobility between the Plates above and the slums below and they were heavily monitered. Cloud looked at the ticket booth with eyes intense in their blue but didn't attempt to buy a ticket. Which made Tifa feel a bit better. Bad enough he knew she lived in the slums. She really didn't want him seeing where she lived. Not that she was ashamed of living where she did – a person took what life gave them and made the most of it – it was just…

Cloud belonged to the memories that were carefree and fun and laughing and 'normal' for someone her age – above the Plate things. When she went home she'd be back in her own life instead of playing in someone else's and – the things from her brief trip into 'Above' didn't belong 'Below. If they did… if they did she might want more than she should and Tifa knew how dangerous that was. Her bar had its share of drunks that had once wanted more.

Cloud stood a little behind her and Aerith while they waited for the train to arrive, effectively blocking the other people on the platform from crowding or bothering the two of them. Tifa watched him from the corners of her eyes and watched the way he was studying the train tracks, the overpasses, the platform around them – all without moving his head to do so. 'Cataloging' again. She laid a hand on his arm and his eyes shifted to look down at her.

"You don't have to wait," she told him and for a second he smiled at her and it was suddenly young and boyish. Something in her chest turned over and seemed to melt at that smile and her hand stayed on his arm.

"I want to" was his simple answer.

"Do you go back to Wutai after this?" she asked, wanting to talk to him, wanting to have his blue eyes watching her the way they did. Wishing, foolishly, that she had more time now…

"Just to take Yuffie home."

"Then where?" she asked when he didn't offer more and his eyes watched hers.

"I don't know," he answered and she remembered he was in the Shinra army and probably went wherever they sent him. Her fingers on his arm tightened without her realizing it and he tipped his head down toward her in response.

"You'll be careful?"

"Probably not" he answered and she felt the edges of his hair brush against hers. The edges of her own lips twisted painfully upward.

"You're supposed to lie," she told him and his eyes searched hers. His softly throaty voice was quiet as he seriously answered:

"Not to you. Never to you, Tifa."

The breath tightened in her lungs and constricted her throat. That didn't make sense. None at all and yet…

"Train's here" Aerith sounded apologetic and distracted Tifa turned her head to see that it was already stopped and people were already loading in through the open doors. Suddenly torn, Tifa looked back up at Cloud. He just smiled softly and dropped their bags off of his shoulder so that they could each claim theirs. She needed to go. Tifa knew that. It was just –

On impulse she reached out and slipped her fingers down his cheek and was rewarded as his impossible blue eyes lidded and his exhale breathed long and slow against her wrist. Then Aerith was tugging her arm and dragging her onto the train. Cloud's eyes opened and he calmly watched without expression on his face.

"You have my cell phone number," he reminded her and then the doors slid closed and the train moved away from the station. Against her will, Tifa thumped a fist against the wall and the few people that were in the car with them moved a little further away. Aerith wrapped her arms around Tifa's waist and rested her chin on her friend's shoulder.

They didn't talk the entire long circling ride down to their level deep in the darkness under the Plates of Midgar.


	13. Chapter 13: Business as Usual

_okay, gentle readers - I had meant this to end with chapter 12 - but fortunately or unfortunately, the characters decided they wanted to keep going. Since its a fun ride for me, I'm going to go along with it. So here we go - setting up an actual story plot. And a special thanks to Kueilan for the delicious review - yum! You make me happy._

Chapter 13: Business As Usual

Waking up in the morning, listening to her brother and sister trying to 'sneak' around downstairs and her father's aggravated coughing from down the hall, it was easy for Tifa to believe that the 'vacation' of a month ago had been a dream. But when she sat up and shook her head, the dangling earrings beat gently against her throat and made her smile. They had been her constant reminder since she'd gotten back from Above. Slipping out of bed, she padded on bare feet over to the door, not bothering change since she'd slept in pants and a half shirt last night. Yawning she combed a hand through her hair and pushed it back from her face. Careful to close the door quietly, she decided to let her father think she was sleeping just a bit longer and go find Marlene and Denzel first instead.

They were both at the computer in the kitchen when she moved through the empty bar and into the room beyond and both of them looked up with bright smiles for her when she came in. They'd missed her. Really missed her. Missed her the way you missed someone when you weren't sure they were coming back and it made her feel warm and yet broke her heart at the same time. Walking over she gave them both hugs, forehead kisses and ruffles to their hair. Denzel had to be the only fifteen year old boy she knew that didn't shy away from affection – when no one was around to see him subjected to it, of course. He was also struggling with making pancake batter. Tifa took the bowl from him with a chuckle. Marlene was the better cook but Denzel was insisting on learning. Insisting on being self-sufficient as quickly as possible. That too broke and warmed Tifa's heart. She suspected he was doing it for her.

"What are you and Marlene looking at?" she asked as she started to stir the lumpy batter into submission and Denzel walked over to where Marlene was sitting at the wooden chair in front of the counter their battered old computer rested on. He peered over his sister's shoulder.

"Con pictures" he announced. "I want to go next year. I'll save my gil."

He would too, Tifa knew. Denzel hoarded like a little miser and worked odd jobs around the neighborhood whenever Tifa let him.

"Are you going to go in costume?" she asked and he shifted in embarrassment, not _that _adult for fifteen. She grinned at him and stated:

"There were plenty of people in regular clothes too, you know."

"Is this the guy that's calling you?" Marlene wanted to know and Tifa shifted on her hip to look. Her cheeks pinked but she nodded.

"That's Leon," she agreed. Marlene tipped her head, a habit she'd learned from her older sister, examining the man in the picture on the cosplay website carefully. Tifa was surprised by how many sites had pictures of her up on them and would have been embarrassed if anyone she knew actually went to those sites. The patrons of the bar would certainly never let her live it down if they found out.

"He's cute," Marlene finally passed her judgment and Tifa suddenly found something interesting going on with the stove. Denzel snorted and wandered over to set the table. Marlene was the computer wiz in the family – the rest of them usually viewed the machine as a vaguely wounded, slightly old and infirm pet no one remembered inviting to live with them.

"I could go in costume," Denzel volunteered. "Though nothing too wild" he was quick to clarify. Tifa smiled.

"Nothing too wild," she agreed. She'd kept in touch with Dix and she thought, if she asked, he'd pay for her way into the convention if she'd work the bar at night in exchange. Taking her siblings up to see sunshine for more than an hour or two was certainly looking possible.

"Why doesn't _he_ call you?" Marlene asked and even before she looked Tifa was pressing her lips together, thinking she knew who 'he' was. And she was right.

"Cloud is busy," she answered. "Besides, he never said he'd call me. He was just being friendly."

Denzel, all of fifteen, looked over Marlene's shoulder at the picture on the web of 'Clash' and 'Rita' and looked back at Tifa. Tifa gave him a stern look and he responded with a facial expression that feigned innocence.

Marlene, propping her chin in her hand on the counter next to the computer, did something with the mouse that increased the size of the picture and scrolled up to fill the screen with their faces. Tifa felt her cheeks heating and reached over and shut off the monitor.

"Tifa!" Marlene protested and Tifa shook her head.

"Go peek into dad's room and see if he's awake or not. Its almost time for his medicine."

Pouting, Marlene still did what she was told without complaint and Tifa turned to Denzel.

"Shut that thing down" she gestured vaguely to the computer and Denzel slid into the seat Marlene had vacated and gingerly turned the screen back on. Cloud's blue eyes looked down at Tifa's face in the picture.

"He should call you too" Denzel muttered, not looking at Tifa as he shut down the window and then started the computer on the long process that let it shut down without crashing entirely. Tifa pretended she hadn't heard.

But later that day when she'd sent the kids off to school and doted on her father for most of the morning, she found herself stalling instead of cleaning. Staring out the darkened window. Thinking about –

Leon called. Every third day in fact. She'd actually answered it the first time and now she found herself looking forward to the calls. Waiting for them. He talked about the places he had visited since the last time they'd spoken or about Hollow Bastion. Tifa enjoyed listening and if he asked she always had stories about her siblings to tell him. But… he said he was coming to Midgar soon – and he wanted to see her.

She frowned as she reached for the broom. Not at all sure she wanted that. Was ready for that. She enjoyed Leon – she liked hearing his voice. But… she just wasn't sure and so far he'd let her dodge the question. But she thought she knew him well enough to know he wasn't going to let her dodge it much longer.

Aerith would tell her she was worrying for nothing.

Sweeping Tifa pressed her lips together, brows coming down over her eyes. Aerith would be right too. There was no reason she shouldn't see Leon. Maybe she could see if she could get someone to watch her father for an afternoon and meet him somewhere Above.

Again, it wasn't that she was ashamed of where she lived. She wasn't a child anymore and she realized that people that loved you for where you lived didn't really love you at all. But – she was protective of her family. She didn't make it a habit of bringing people to meet them that weren't going to stay in their lives. Denzel and Marlene had already had enough people disappear on them and Tifa wasn't going to contribute to that.

Her eyes automatically drifted to the ceiling and she paused in her cleaning to listen. Nothing. It meant he was sleeping – which her father usually did after his medicine. She sometimes wondered how much of what was in the dark bottle was the exact same thing she sold in glasses over the counter every night and how much was actual medicine. There wasn't much she could do about it however. She didn't live Above and medicine down here was whatever you could get your hands on. It stopped his pain and let him sleep and soothed the cough that torn through his body. Unless she suddenly opened her door to find it raining gil – it was the best she could afford and Barrett, who would know, had assured her the man she bought it from was the best 'doctor' they had in all of the lower sectors.

She certainly paid enough to merit it, she thought and then felt like an ungrateful daughter to be thinking of money when it was her father she was thinking of. But – she'd been living paying for enough years that she didn't exactly feel guilty for thinking it either.

Strangely restless, she finished sweeping and brushed the dirt and dust outside where everyone could simply track it back in again. Then she darted quickly up the stairs to check on her father and make sure he was sleeping. Catching up her jacket she pulled it on on the way out the door and locked the building up behind her. Her father would sleep for another two hours easily and the kids would be in school at least that long. Pulling the ragged collar up around her ears, Tifa leaned into the cutting wind that blew down the ramshackle street, feeling the tip of her nose go red and frozen. She squinted her eyes against it and started off down the street, hands in her pockets.

Sometimes… sometimes she just needed to walk. She couldn't explain it and she didn't remember having the problem before her mother had died but – sometimes she just needed to be moving. Acting like she was going somewhere even if she wasn't going anywhere in reality. It wasn't exactly safe – wandering the streets down here really wasn't, even during the 'day' time hours. Random ill meaning strangers wasn't the worse thing that roamed the rotting alleyways and abandoned buildings. Sometimes Tifa just couldn't stay inside or in her small familiar territory though. Today was apparently going to be one of those days so she walked briskly to keep the less determined from bothering her and stretched her long legs.

She'd had a vague idea of going and visiting Aerith in the dim gloom of the 'day'. No sunlight really reached down this far and nothing grew – nothing natural at least. Nothing but flowers miraculously blooming in the abandoned church her friend practically lived in. Maybe she just needed to see something alive and hopeful to calm herself down, Tifa thought. Except her feet didn't take her in that direction. Instead they took her closer to the core of 'Below' and she was surprised to find that she was actually hurrying.

Which didn't make any sense but – well, what the hell, who was going to comment on it? – Tifa pulled her hands out of her pockets and she ran.

It had been – so long since she'd run and for a very long time she just sank into the feeling of enjoying doing it. Running just to run and not because she had to. It would attract attention and there were things that would give chase just because she was running but Tifa had always been fast. The chances of them catching her weren't good unless she stopped and she wasn't giving much thought to stopping. The muscles in her legs worked and her sneakers pounded along against the cracked concrete and packed dirt. The air whistled cold into her lungs and bit her face and fingers but – it felt good. It meant she was alive. It felt – it felt free and for just that moment, as she ran, there was no father dying behind her or siblings counting on her to make their lives normal or lack of money or drunks at the bar or – or anything. Anything at all but the running.

She finally did stop, literally reaching out with her arms to catch at a pillar at the train station. No train was due in shortly so it was mostly deserted and Tifa checked behind her to make sure she hadn't been followed before looking around. People were waiting, or pretending to wait just so that they could stay somewhere fairly safe for a little while, but they were all being careful not to look at Tifa and so she thought she could catch her breath in safety here before starting home. The run had felt good – and left her with quite a bit of distance to return over – but she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Inhaling lung fulls of air that was too cold, she wrapped her arms around the pillar and stared at nothing for a while until her breathing returned to normal.

She'd tell Leon she could see him when he came. She'd take an afternoon and pretend she didn't have responsibilities with him.

Feeling better, she took one last look around, making sure the people there knew she was aware of them so they wouldn't be tempted to try anything and then she turned and started back the way she'd come – though she'd take a different route home.

She heard the groan just as she passed the station building and her head snapped around toward the sound automatically. The alley between the station and the building crowded up against it was narrow and even darker than the unnatural dusk that always hung over the air here. She hesitated at its mouth.

Groaning meant either someone was hurt – or drunk – or trying to lure a victim in. Instinct and general common sense said to ignore it and keep on going. Tifa pressed her lips together and hesitated. If someone was hurt…

Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, a little. It didn't help much. Showed her trash in piles – and what might be someone slumped in a sitting position against the wall. And it wasn't a child by the size of them. Probably not even a woman given the size. Yeah, definitely something to leave alone, Tifa told herself. But she wasn't listening and instead found herself edging into the mouth of the alley, back against the wall in case her 'victim' had friends waiting to help. One of these days she was going to get herself in serious trouble and she already knew no one was going to come help her.

"Hey" her voice was low and her eyes shifted to both sides of the alley. "Are you alright?"

Probably a stupid question to ask, most healthy people didn't moan. No answer this time and she was just starting to edge closer when the figure shifted. Started to struggle to his – definitely his – feet.

"Oh" Tifa held up a hand, not sure if she was going to push him away or steady him. "Don't do that. I didn't mean you had to show me."

A grunt answered her and even as something in her gut took a sudden dive, the man's face rose and eyes that burned blue and green fire in the gloom found hers.

"oh shit" Tifa forgot she lived with minors.


	14. Chapter 14: Seventh Heaven

Chapter 14: Seventh Heaven

She wasn't sure how she managed to get Cloud home. But she did, staggering under his weight as she jiggled the key in the lock until it opened and then almost falling in the door with him. She didn't know what was wrong but Cloud's skin was on fire and his eyes were – she thought – as crazy as it sounded, his eyes were glowing. And she kept thinking they looked – green at random moments. They were also absolutely unfocused and if he recognized her he hadn't given any sign. He was mobile – thank God – but only just and he'd almost tipped them both into ditches and walls quite a few times on the way home. He screamed 'easy prey' but for some reason the creatures that roamed between the sectors had avoided them and Tifa's literal snarl had kept most of the humans from bothering them. He also had – he had the oddest smell to him. Trash and sweat and sickness – Tifa was used to those. But – under that – he smelled like –

She thought he smelled like lightening.

"Almost there." She had been talking to him the entire trip and she wasn't sure if it was for herself or for him. With a heel she pushed the door shut and all but dragged him across the floor. "Just – " She looked upward as they reached the foot of the stairs in despair. But the only thing that was on the ground floor was the bar itself and the kitchen.

"One step at a time" she told them both and eventually they made it up the stairs even though they had to pause three times.

"Come on. My room's right here."

She'd originally chosen the room closest to the stairs because it meant that anything coming up them had to deal with her before it could reach the rest of her family but now she was just glad it was close enough to be convenient. Cloud was no lightweight and she could already feel her muscles trembling. Coughing came down the hall and her father's voice, rusty and aggravated, called her name.

"In a minute, dad." For possibly the first time ever, Tifa was glad he was bed ridden. She couldn't begin to imagine how she would explain this. With a last effort, she got Cloud into her bedroom and together they fell onto her bed. For a very long time, she just laid there, half on him, arms still around him. Physically shaking from the effort it had taken to get him here. And what seeing him – being afraid for him the way she still was – had done to her.

She'd have to call Yuffie.

But there were more immediate things and she started to straighten up only to find his arms were around her and – holding her. Despite herself, she buried her nose in his shirt for a minute longer. Then she drew an inhale of that strange, sharp lightening smell and wiggled out of his embrace feeling stronger somehow. His fingers trailed against her, unwilling to let go and under her his blank eyes blinked without sight.

"It's all right" she told him, resting her fingertips on his forehead. "It's all right now, Cloud. You're safe with me and I'm going to take care of you now. I'm just going to go get some water to clean you off a little."

He blinked again but if there was real comprehension she didn't see it. Leaving him there, she slipped in to check on her father. He complained because he'd called for her and she hadn't answered, ignoring the obvious clue of the fact she was still wearing her jacket. She apologized, got him something to drink, helped him prop up his pillows a bit more and then promised she was going to get him something to eat before going back to her own bedroom with a quick stop in the bathroom. Cloud was sprawled out the way she'd left him and she set down the basin of water and soap and towels, moving over to kneel down next to the bed.

She knew what a sick person looked like and it filled her with the old irrational terror. Sick meant you died. Not always but – in her chest – sick meant you died. Shaking her head at herself, she took off Cloud's boots. He was dressed like a Shinra trooper, except for the helmet and instead of the gun and baton, he had a huge sword strapped across his back – which had caused enough of its own problems when it came to maneuvering. She was sure she should probably understand something from that but at the moment she had other things to concentrate on.

He was starting to shake by the time she got most of his outerwear off of him and his sword was set against the wall – oh, Denzel was going to have a field day with that if she wasn't careful. Cloud's blue, sometimes almost green eyes had gone pale and hazy. She noticed scars on his chest. She noticed old needle tracks on his arms. They gave her a bolt of utter despair because she hadn't taken him as an addict but – they weren't new. Was he going through withdrawal? Should she have brought him home?

Except – she couldn't have left him there. Even the thought was almost impossible to form.

As best as she could she bathed his chest and shoulders, his face and arms. By the time she was done, he was burning up again and restless in her bed. Eyes burning aqua again and his fingers closed and opened convulsively on the bed covers.

"It's all right, Cloud" Tifa pulled the blanket up over him and settled herself on the edge of the bed, sitting next to him the way she did with her own brother. "It's all right. You're home now. With me. Tifa. I'm going to take care of you." His fingers paused in their motions and she reached over to smooth the shaggy blond hair back from his burning forehead. "I'm going to take care of you and you're going to get better. Better than better. You'll see. You're going to be just fine." He stilled as she talked and even though his eyes stayed sightless on the ceiling above, he seemed to relax just a little. Hesitant, she laid her hand over his and his fingers closed over hers in automatic reaction. A long exhale left him and his eyelids fluttered shut. But his hand stayed tight over hers and Tifa sat next to him and didn't try to leave.

She must have dozed at some point, sitting there just watching him because the next thing she remembered clearly was the downstairs door slamming shut and footsteps pounding up the stairs, her name being called excitedly. Sometimes it was impossible for children not to be children, even raised in a family with a dying man.

"Here" she called, glancing down at Cloud to find his eyes were still closed and he'd turned on his side at some point. Her hand, still in his, had become the center of the curve he was forming with his body. Automatic she reached out to test his forehead with her free hand as Marlene burst into the room.

"Tifa – " Marlene cut herself off, new book in her hand forgotten as she took in what was in front of her. Needlessly, because Cloud hadn't even stirred with all the noise she'd made, Tifa gestured Marlene to be quiet. The little girl approached the bed cautiously. Tifa was there so there was no fear in Marlene's eyes. It allowed the curiosity to shine through clear. Intent, Marlene studied Cloud's unconscious face as Tifa pressed a replacement damp cloth to his forehead and set the other one, now hot, into the water bowl next to the bed.

"That's Clash" Marlene stated and Tifa had to stifle a chuckle.

"Not exactly" she began and then Denzel was coming up the stairs, his own tread more measured.

"Tifa. Your cell phone has a message on it." Just as he stated it the cell phone began ringing. Her father yelled from down the hall about the noise and Denzel paused in the doorway in surprise as he stepped into Tifa's room.

"Toss it" Tifa told him and in automatic response he tossed her cell phone. She caught it with her free hand and flicked it open, noticing there were already several messages on it.

"hello?" she asked, at an utter loss who would be calling her and vaguely hoping it was Yuffie to explain things. It wasn't.

"Tifa?"

"Leon?" It wasn't his day to call and he sounded – winded.

"Tifa. I can't explain. Do you know a safe place in Sector Six below the Plates in Midgar? It's an emergency and we need somewhere quiet. I know this is crazy and I haven't got a right ask but – please."

Automatically, Tifa tried to cradle the phone against her ear with both hands but Cloud wouldn't let go of the one in his possession. Denzel and Marlene had both crept close but they were watching her instead of the sleeping man in the bed. Tifa looked at them – and made a decision.

"Sector Six is the Don's territory. Can you make it to Sector Seven?"

A short pause and she heard noise in the background. Unfriendly noise.

"Yeah. I think."

"Sector Seven. Three blocks in from Sector Six. The road with the orange stacked trailers. Half way down. There's a bar called Seventh Heaven. Brown building with a flat stone walk to its door. Its closed but the door will be unlocked. Go there."

"You're a life saver, Tifa. I think I just might owe you my soul. I'll call when I can."

The phone line went dead as quickly as it had begun and Tifa raised her head to look at her brother and sister.

"Denzel, go unlock the door to the bar but leave the 'closed' sign up. Marlene, there's soup in the ice box. Go bring it to dad. He was sitting up earlier and he should be able to feed himself. Then I want both of you to go to your rooms and make sure you've got everything you need in your emergency bags. Get them and bring them in here. Okay?"

They were too well trained to question the tone of voice she was using and instead they both nodded in tandem and bolted from the room. Tifa looked down at Cloud, her brows knitting. It wasn't the first time she'd made Seventh Heaven a safe house of sorts. It was just – she'd never had it happen so quickly before.

Quick she checked her messages and they were all from Leon. Hang ups. She needed to call Yuffie but the scrap of paper the girl had written her phone number on was on Tifa's desk under a pile of paper work. Tifa gave her hand an experimental tug but Cloud wasn't letting go. His grip was just short of bruising. Then it occurred to her to check him for a cell phone. Surely he'd have Yuffie's number in that. It felt – awkward patting down an unconscious man. Her search didn't find a phone.

She could hear one or more of her siblings in their room. The thumping of drawers gave them away. Pressing her lips together she looked down at Cloud and gently smoothed a hand over his forehead.

"You have to let go of my hand now, Cloud," she told him softly, stroking his brow. "I need to get my family ready. And call your sister. But I can't do that if you don't let go of my hand."

His eyes were shut but she watched them move under his eyelids and his pale brows stayed knit over them. His fingers tightened around hers for a long minute. Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to his hot forehead the way she had for numerous sick family members in the past.

"Let go, Cloud. I promise I'll come back."

She didn't know if he understood but his fingers reluctantly freed hers. She left her lips against his forehead a moment longer. Feeling – so strangely protective of him.

"Promise" she murmured against his skin and then straightened up. Denzel was standing in the doorway of her bedroom with large eyes, both his and Marlene's 'emergency' duffle bags in his hand. 'Emergency' bags Tifa had long ago insisted they fill up with everything they might need if the family had to leave in an instant. Life was – unpredictable down here and Tifa wasn't going to risk her brother and sister on optimism or naivety. Tifa leaned down as she walked past her brother and kissed his forehead too.

"Watch Cloud for me" she told Denzel gently. "Remember what I've told you. Anything goes wrong I'll scream and you take Marlene and go out the window and across the roof. She'll be your responsibility and you'll have to look out for her until I come get you at Aerith's church. Right?"

He nodded solemnly. Marlene was Tifa's ace of cards. If it wasn't for her, she was pretty sure nothing on earth would make Denzel leave if he thought Tifa was in trouble. She ruffled his hair just as Marlene came out of their father's room, looking worried. Tifa gave her an encouraging smile as the younger girl darted over to join them and put her arms around Tifa's waist. Tifa returned the hug.

"Watch after Cloud for me. Make sure the cloth on his head stays cool and he doesn't toss off the covers. Talk to him, he'll like that." Marlene was the worrier and so Tifa gave her something 'safe' to worry about. "If anything happens, do what Denzel says." Then she turned to her brother and told him firmly:

"Leave the sword alone."

It immediately drew his attention to the giant weapon he hadn't noticed before but Tifa thought that was a good distraction. She should call Yuffie now but she'd have to dig out the number and she wasn't sure she'd have time. Cloud would have to wait a little longer. Tifa's family came first. She shut the door to the room, creating the illusion of a safe haven at least.

She had less time then she'd thought because she was only halfway down the stairs to the bar when the front door jerked open and Tifa froze on the steps as three people stumbled in. One of the three was Leon and he shut the door immediately and locked it, stepping to the side to peer out a nearby window. The other two, a man and a woman, stumbled toward the corner of the bar. The woman wasn't walking under her own power. Without thinking about it, Tifa moved forward to slid a shoulder under the woman's other arm and help move her. The man all but carrying her jerked in surprise and the look in his eyes was just starting to shift to violent when Tifa stated:

"I'm a friend of Leon's."

It stalled the man long enough for him to shoot a glance at Leon who nodded even though he was frowning. Tifa ignored them both and got the woman settled on one of the benches. When she pulled back, Tifa found blood on her hands and arms.

"Monsters or guns?" she asked and the other man shook his head.

"Sword."

Tifa's thought immediately flew to one specific sword but she pushed the thought away.

"I'll get the first aid kit" she stated and strode to the kitchen. A first aid kit down here consisted of a great deal more than just band aids. Tifa also grabbed a bottle of hard liquor – the cheap kind – on her way out of the bar itself.

The woman's companion had her laid out and her jacket off. Blood soaked through the torn fabric of her shirt on her back and Tifa saw the dark crimson of deep wounds and the hint of white – possible bone. A gory gash ran from her hip to her opposite shoulder and Tifa was amazed the woman was even still breathing. Ignoring the men, Tifa tore open the back of the shirt. The blood was starting to dry and it made the fabric stick but Tifa soaked it with water and made sure she'd peeled all the fabric out of the wound.

"Hold her down," she instructed and two pairs of hands closed over the woman. Tifa handed one of them a piece of leather belt. "Put it in her mouth so she doesn't bite her tongue or teeth and cover her mouth so when she screams it can't be heard. This is going to hurt."

Leon did the job and his face was pale and set. And splashed with blood as well, Tifa noticed. But he wasn't dying and it was possible that the woman in front of her was so she focused on that. She'd have plenty of questions later though.

'Hurt' was an understatement.

Tifa uncorked the bottle and simply poured it over the wound. The woman wrenched, arched, and probably screamed.

"Do you have any healing materia?" Tifa asked and got silent head shakes in answer. Tifa had two. She hadn't gotten them legally. Or even possibly morally. But she had two.

And they were for Marlene and Denzel. End of story.

Once she'd finished pouring the bottle, while the wound was still numb from the shock of the pain, Tifa quickly threaded a needle she'd sterilized and sewed up the wound as best she could. It would scar. Tifa couldn't afford to take the time to do it neatly or with tiny stitches. But it would hold the wound together and that was what really mattered. Then she doused it again and the woman's response was much weaker. Tifa finished by slathering a thick, greasy salve over the wound and then pressed bandages down on it, wrapping them in place with others. She didn't think she breathed until she finally sat back on her heels and exhaled. The two men were staring at her.

"She needs to be kept warm. Not moved. I'll make some broth that will help her a little. She's going to get feverish and you have to make sure the wound stays clean or she'll go septic."

"You do this a lot?" Leon finally asked and Tifa found herself coughing on a laugh.

"I live right next to Sector Six." With a grunt, she pushed herself to her feet. _Really _feeling today catching up to her. Her eyes locked with Leon's.

"Are they going to follow you here?" At the moment it didn't even matter who 'they' were. Just if Tifa needed to get her family to safety or not. Leon shook his head.

"We gave them plenty to keep them busy."

Tifa really looked at him then and stepped forward to touch his cheek gently.

"You're cut," she told him and he raised a hand to his forehead. Drew his fingers back and grimaced.

"Yeah."

"Let me look at it" Tifa went back for the kit and moved to the kitchen to rinse off her hands. Leon followed her.

"Am I going to need the belt?" he asked with weary humor.


	15. Chapter 15: Revelations

Chapter 15: Revelations

Tifa looked at Leon and managed a strained smile of her own.

"Go send your friend outside to make sure you didn't leave a blood trail and I'll take care of your face."

Leon turned in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Cid, go outside and make sure we didn't leave anything that would lead anyone here."

The man he'd addressed looked with concern at the woman lying motionless on the bench but he got up and went out after checking out the window carefully. Leon joined Tifa at the sink but she noticed he stayed out of the window's view. At least whatever they'd done they seemed a little bit professional about hiding out afterward. Tifa wasn't sure that was reassuring.

Hands clean again, she had Leon sit in a chair at the table and set to work on his face. A wicked looking slash ran down from his forehead and over the bridge of his nose, just between his eyes.

"It's not that bad" he told her and she realized something must have shown on your face.

"An inch more either way and you would have lost an eye" she scolded him pointlessly, starting to clean away the worse of the blood so she could try to stitch it. He smiled but it was a quiet smile and didn't reach his eyes. His face didn't start bleeding again.

"It's good to know you're not keeping me around just for my looks."

Tifa gave him a look and went back to her work. Which wasn't easy to do because he was watching her. _Watching_ her. This close together she could almost physically feel it.

"Close your eyes so I can do this" she told him and didn't say that his eyes being closed had nothing to do with the skin stretched between his brows. He dutifully closed his eyes for her and that made it easier. So she could lean close and concentrate on what she was doing and after she'd cleaned and sterilized the wound as best she could, she started stitching him up. His gloved hands came up and close around her hips. Hard. But he didn't make any sound or flinch as she worked. Silence fell and it lasted until after she'd finished her sewing, cleaned away the new blood and applied the bitter smelling salve to the gash.

"There." She straightened to look at her work and Leon gingerly opened his grey eyes. Tifa gave him a nod.

"It should heal well." Apologetic, she added: "It will probably scar."

He gave a shrug, one shoulder moving.

"It doesn't matter."

"It will make you look roguish" she offered, trying to lighten the mood. It made him smile, just a little. Satisfied, she started to step back – and couldn't. Leon's hands stayed curved around her hips. Surprised, Tifa paused and looked down at him. To find him looking very intently back up at her.

"I didn't think you were giving us your home address. Why are you doing this?" he asked softly and Tifa lowered her chin.

"You needed help." It really was that simple to her. Someone had needed help – in this case all the more powerful because it was someone she knew. His hands on her tightened.

"You haven't even asked why we were running or who we were running from."

She offered him an old smile.

"Leon" she put a hand on his shoulder lightly, not wanting to smear any more blood on him than was already there. "I'll find out soon enough. Whatever you did, people are going to know – and they're going to talk. We hear everything down here. I think – " she inhaled. "I think you're a good man. So I think whatever it is, you did it with a good heart and with good intentions. If it turns out I'm wrong – "

"We destroyed a Mako reactor."

"- then you were still – a what?" it snapped her out of her reassurances and her eyes went wide as she looked down at him.

"In Sector Three. We blew it up. It was Shinra troopers and a SOLDIER that were chasing us. The SOLDIER is the one that got both Shera and I. Came up behind us while the troops were keeping us busy." Leon's face tightened. "I didn't even get a good look at the bastard. He caught me in the face and then opened up Shera. Cid broke the walkway we were on and we all fell or we probably would have been dead."

Leon dead and she probably never even would have known… A SOLDIER… Tifa refocused the attention.

"You blew up a reactor?"

"Timed charge. That's what kept everyone busy while we escaped." He gave her hips a light shake which made her sway a little and his eyes were intent and intense in a way she'd never seen from him before. "Do you know what they do? That's Lifestream, Tifa. They're draining all the life out of the planet just so we can turn on lights after the sun goes down. Shinra is killing the planet. They know its dangerous but they won't stop – and it's got to be stopped."

Tifa had heard that argument before – and she didn't disagree. Agreeing however didn't change the fact that she had to have power to run the bar and she had to run the bar to support her family. It was like spending the money she would have used to stock the bar on food instead. A temporary solution to a longer term problem – but if they starved in the immediate, there wasn't much good in having a future saved for. Selfish and short sighted – but it was hard not to be when you had children that depended on you.

And yet – by using Mako power wasn't she stealing their future from them?

Tifa rested her hands on Leon's shoulders and looked down at him as she stood between his knees.

"They're going to send the Turks after you." He watched her with steady eyes and very lightly she touched his cheek. Exhaling. "How about this?" she suggested. "I'll close down the bar tonight. Sometimes I have to do that anyway so no one will think anything of it. You and Cid and Shera can stay here in the bar where you'll be safe and I can take care of you." She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "But you have to stay in the bar area. You can't go up the stairs. My father's upstairs and he's – sick. I don't want him to know about this. All right?"

His large hands on her hips squeezed gently back.

"All right, Tifa. You've helped us out and I've put you in a bad spot. I'm sorry. Your house, your rules while we're here. You have my word."

Tifa felt her shoulders relax and she gave him a smile.

"Good" her hands left his shoulders. "Now let go of me. I've got to go upstairs to tell my brother and sister what's going on before they decide to invent weapons and come to my rescue. You should check on Cid. I'll come back and make everyone something to eat after I get done checking on everyone upstairs."

Leon smiled and it did reach his eyes this time even though it was weary.

"Smart lady" he let go of her and pushed his chair back to stand up. Tifa just gave him a quick smile and moved to wash her hands and put away the first aid before heading up the stairs.

Denzel was near the inside of her bedroom door, listening no doubt, and Marlene was sitting on the bed with her legs tucked under her next to Cloud. She had one of his long fingered hands in her lap and was gently stroking the back of it. Both of her siblings all but jumped when she let herself in and shut the door behind her. With a hand she motioned Denzel over and sat down on the bed next to Marlene. Denzel pressed close and Marlene crawled over Cloud's unconscious form to snuggle against Tifa's side, still holding Cloud's hand in both of hers as Tifa wrapped an arm around both of them.

"All right. Here's what's going on." Tifa rarely hid things from Denzel and Marlene. They were a team. And besides, ignorance was dangerous down here. "Leon got into some trouble with a couple of his friends and they're going to hid here for a little while until its safe. One of his friends is hurt pretty bad." Against her will her eyes moved to the giant sword propped against the wall. The blade was clear of blood but that only meant it had been cleaned. She looked back at her siblings. "We don't want anyone to know they're here. Not dad, no one." Her eyes shifted again but this time they found Cloud's tight face and she reached out to touch his cheek, fingertips resting against his hot skin. "But we don't want them to know about Cloud either, okay? They're going to stay downstairs and we're going to keep Cloud up here and not mention him to anyone. He's our secret." She met Denzel's eyes and then Marlene's. "All right?"

Both her sister and her brother nodded firmly, eyes determined. Like Tifa, they were defenders of the weak and right now it was hard to imagine anyone weaker than Cloud. Tifa knew what Leon had told her – and it would take someone a lot more determined about denial to not realize that Cloud fit either the description of a SOLDIER with his huge sword or a Shinra trooper with his uniform. Either way, it wasn't a good mix. It didn't change her strong need to protect the blond vulnerable man in her bed. Leon and Cloud could work out their differences – on their own and when they were both up to it – if it came to that. But not now. Not in her house. In her house, she was going to keep everyone safe. Whether they wanted it or not. Gentle she smoothed the damp hair back from Cloud's forehead.

"He squeezed!" Marlene suddenly chirped and when Tifa looked at her, she held up the limp hand she was holding in both of hers. "When you started talking his fingers closed around mine and when you touched him just now, he squeezed my hand!"

"Maybe he can hear our voices and they makes him feel safe," Tifa suggested. As burning up as Cloud was, she thought that, even if he had been fully awake and aware, he would have had to be delirious. There was no way he could have understood what they were talking about. Which reminded her to change the damp cloth on his forehead.

"I'm going to have to go back down and I'm going to have to spend most of my time down there. So that means you two have to take care of Cloud and listen for dad. If you need anything you come down and get me but I want you to stay up here for tonight and in my room as much as you can, okay? I'll come back up here and we'll all sleep in my room tonight. Go get your mattresses and I'm going to go check on dad."

With missions now, Denzel and Marlene gave her firm nods and burst into action. She knew it wasn't normal. That most little kids couldn't handle the responsibility she gave them so much and they would have been more scared than determined. But – kids grew up fast down in the slums of Midgar. And Tifa knew that, even though she tried to be their mother and the adult – sometimes they remembered she was just their sister and felt as protective over her as she did over them. Marlene had laid Cloud's hand on his chest before she'd gone out the door and Tifa slipped her fingers through his, leaning low over him. His knit brows relaxed a little and it made her smile.

"You're going to have to entertain the kids for me while I'm busy, Cloud" she told him softly, watching his sleeping face, so very different when the power of his eyes wasn't behind it. "That's your job. To keep an eye on them and make sure they feel safe, okay?"

Of course it was silly because he couldn't keep anyone safe. Not even himself right now. Not in the state he was in. All he could really do was lie there. But she didn't think it would do his soul any harm if it heard. She'd seen him around Yuffie and thought it might extend to others if he had the chance. And then the teasing collapsed suddenly, leaving her chest feeling hollow, and Tifa wound her fingers more firmly through his.

"Please don't be the one that hurt Shera" she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. People died – because people killed each other. She understood that and she could only imagine how many people Leon's bomb had killed. But – she'd taken care of the other woman. She was so – mousy and small and – and small. What kind of man tried to gut – Shera was such a tiny thing. Two men in the group – who went after the woman first? For some reason it bothered Tifa more than she could explain.

Straightening, she gave his hand a light squeeze.

"It's all right," she told him softly. "Don't worry about it. I'm taking care of everything." Somehow… "You just take care of Denzel and Marlene for me, right?"

Of course he didn't answer. She hadn't expected him to.

She spent the rest of the evening busy taking care of her new guests. She didn't have any mattresses to drag downstairs for the group. Her father and her siblings kept theirs of course but she couldn't even offer her own because Cloud was on it. Leon didn't seem to mind though, telling her with an exasperated smile that they were _used_ to sleeping with fewer blankets and pillows than she'd brought down for them. That they were used to eating less and a great deal worse than the full dinner she cooked up for them. She couldn't keep them entirely from the upstairs – it was where the bathroom was and both Denzel and Marlene found excuses to come downstairs so the two worlds didn't exactly divide but Leon's group stayed downstairs and the kids stayed upstairs. Cid sat next to Shera chewing constantly on a toothpick since he'd apparently run out of cigarettes, eyes staring off into space and his fist thumping unconsciously on his thigh. He ate three bowls of her stew though. She made a weaker broth for Shera and enough that she had extra for Cloud, but the small woman wouldn't take anything and didn't seem to move at all, barely breathing. Tifa found herself constantly checking for the small rise and fall in the blankets to signify that she was still breathing and, catching glances, she thought she wasn't the only one doing so. Leon went out several more times once it became true dark and Tifa worried about him. She could tell he was feeling guilty for Shera. Selfishly – Tifa was glad it was Sector Three that lost its power instead of Seven. As unreliable as it was down here – she didn't want to think about going through the night without heat or the ability to warm food. Again – how much was she willing to sacrifice the future for the present?

When she went upstairs to check, Marlene was sitting on the bed against Cloud, reading her new book out loud to him. Marlene made friends easily, much quicker than Denzel for example – but it still struck Tifa as interesting that the younger girl was physically touching the sleeping blond while she read to him.

"He likes it when I read to him" Marlene was confident and Tifa, looking, saw that Cloud's face was relaxed. His breathing was more relaxed too and it made something in Tifa's chest loosen. She had Denzel come over and help her and between the two of them, they got Cloud sitting upright on pillows. He swallowed what was put into his mouth and so Tifa left the kids with instructions to make sure he ate as much of the broth as possible and then went to sit with her father for a while. His world had gotten smaller and smaller each year and now he didn't seem aware of anything that existed outside of his bedroom. Tonight, that was a relief because it didn't occur to him to ask why it was so quiet downstairs or why Denzel and Marlene couldn't be heard in their usual night time routine outside his door. She made sure he took a bowl of broth as well and watched as he ate it all. Then she made sure he was comfortable and helped him turn so his breathing would be easier. The room was stuffy but she didn't dare open a window with it as cold outside as it was. Instead she took down another blanket and spread it over her father, giving him his nightly dose of medicine before tucking him in. She stayed until he fell asleep.

He never asked her to – but she saw the almost desperate way his eyes would follow her if she tried to leave before he was asleep. When he finally relaxed into sleep, she smoothed his thinning hair back from his forehead and gave it a kiss. There was a lot of forehead kissing going on tonight she speculated as she quietly closed his door and went back downstairs with the empty bowls. Cid was still at his post next to Shera's slack form but now he had a glass in his hand with a dark liquor in it. Tifa let it go that they were raiding her bar thinking Cid looked like he needed it about as desperately as she'd ever seen someone need a stiff drink.

Leon was in the kitchen. Washing the dishes of all things.

"You don't have to do that," Tifa protested and he turned his head to give her a smile over his shoulder. The wound on his forehead was startling in its newness.

"It's only fair" he commented as he went back to scrubbing. "We're eating your food and sleeping in your house, while you cook and take care of us. The least we can do is clean up after ourselves."

She hesitated, not used to people doing that kind of thing, and he took the opportunity to reach out with soapy hands and take the bowls from her. After a minute, she sank down onto one of the chairs at the table and rested her chin in his hand.

"You're just being useful so I'll invite you to stay longer" she teased gently and he gave her another smile over his shoulder. There was something just a little bit shy and hesitant about his smiles when he really meant them she was noticing.

"We'll go as soon as we can safely move Shera. But – you're cooking for us, worrying over us, making us feel safe… who wouldn't want to stay with that? Your brother and sister are really lucky to have a sister like you."

It warmed her inside and she smiled a bit softer.

"I'm the lucky one. They could have been terrors and instead they're the best friends anyone could ask for."

"They seem like good kids," Leon stated and finished up the dishes, drying his hands as he came over to sit down across from her. His eyes met hers.

"Tifa, I don't want to put you in danger. I wouldn't anyway but now that I've seen your world – I don't want to mess that up. Its – its rare, what you've made here."

"It is," she agreed. "But you can't mess it up. And Shera needed me. She still does. Denzel and Marlene understand what I've done and they agree." She reached across the table and lightly touched the top of his hand. "It's all right, Leon. You don't have to add me or my family to any guilt you're carrying."

His hand turned and he caught her fingers in his. Grey eyes serious and intent as he studied her.

"I'll do what I can to keep from involving you. I just – I really have enjoyed being able to call you and feel like I'm normal this past month."

She gave his hand a light squeeze in return. After a moment longer she slipped her hand out of his and stood up.

"Stay here tonight, Leon" she told him softly. "You'll be safe. And tomorrow I'll cook a huge breakfast for everyone. It will all work out, you'll see."

He watched her as she left. She could feel his eyes, quiet and intent, on her. She whispered her 'goodnight' to Cid and Shera and then climbed the steps and let herself into her bedroom. While the children got ready for bed, she wiped Cloud clean again, using the cool water to clear away the sweat and the sickness. The lighting smell was fainter now, she could hardly smell it on him at all and she checked, leaning down close to his throat to inhale after she'd cleaned him off again.

"How long has he been sick, Tifa?"

It was Denzel, standing in the doorway and Tifa shook her head to show she didn't know.

"He's got needle marks on his arms. Like someone had him hooked up to something." At her look of surprise, Denzel shrugged self-consciously. "We've got a boy in my class that's really sick all the time and the scars on his arm are different than the kids that drop out because they're hooked."

Curious, Tifa turned over one of Cloud's arms to look. She'd take her brother's word for it. Denzel joined her, crawling up onto the bed to join her as he forgot he was a teenager and too 'mature' for that kind of thing.

"See?" he pointed out. "He's just got a couple but they're really there. Like he's had something in for a long time. The druggies, they pop needles in and out all the time because of what it does to their veins so it messes up their arms more and they're smaller marks."

Tifa glanced over at Denzel, knowing she should either be worried or saddened that her little brother knew things like that.

"So he's been sick and having treatment?" she speculated and Denzel shrugged as they both looked at the inside of the otherwise smoothly muscled arm.

"Probably. Maybe" Denzel offered and Tifa hummed a thoughtful sound.

"He's got a scar on his chest too" Marlene offered it from the doorway and then shut it and crawled up onto the bed with the rest of them. "I saw it when he tossed his covers off once."

Since she hadn't wrapped Cloud back up in the blanket yet, Denzel and Tifa both looked out of curiosity to find what Marlene was talking about. It was the way they were when they were together. Nothing was really off limits to their mutual curiosity. Of course, Tifa was aware that Cloud was pretty much defenseless against the Lockhart siblings in his unconscious state. It was probably just as well for all of them. Sure enough, there was Marlene's scar and Tifa noticed several others as well. Some that looked very clean and others that looked ragged and ugly. None of them were fresh though.

"He gets into fights a lot, doesn't he?" Marlene asked and Tifa nodded, frowning.

"I think so" she answered softly and very gently pulled the blankets back up over Cloud, tenderly tucking them in around him before stroking a hand through his hair. It was silent for a long moment and then Marlene asked:

"Was he mean at the convention? You didn't look scared in the pictures."

Remembering the convention suddenly brought home just how bizarre this day had been and how far from that carefree and easy time she was. With an exhale, Tifa let her shoulders slump and tucked her legs up under her. Marlene leaned over to snuggle in against her side and even Denzel shifted a little closer so his leg rested against hers. She gave them both a tired smile.

"No. He was very nice at the convention." The tiredness threatened to become a thick wet blanket over her and she wrapped an arm around Marlene and the other around Denzel, resting the side of her head against the top of her brother's. She shut her eyes and focused on what was important. That her family was safe and they were together.

"He was – quiet. And – warm. Honest. He would say things just to see how I would answer, I think." Her words got farther apart as the moments stretched. "He made me feel safe, even though I wasn't in trouble to start with. Strong. And very gentle. He's got a little sister he adores…"

The last thought she had was that she hadn't called Yuffie and she needed to. Somehow, she never got past the 'minute more' she promised herself to get up and find the phone number.


	16. Chapter 16: Family Life

_over a hundred hits in one day when I put up new chapters last week! wooha! and only one review... waaah. All the same, this extra chapter is to celebrate since I can't take everyone out for hot chocolate. Hope ya'll enjoy._

Chapter 16: Family Life

Tifa woke up warm. Really, honestly, comfortably warm – not just warm enough to feel her fingers and toes and merit not wanting to get out of bed. Awareness of more than just that basic leaked slowly in and she was aware of bodies piled up against hers and the soft movements of breathing. The sound of it and its brush against her skin where it was bare. That felt warm too – in her chest where her heart lived. It meant everything was all right with the world. Her world.

Even at their ages, it wasn't unusual for Denzel and Marlene to sneak in to sleep in her bed with her. Piled together like puppies and for the same reasons. So it took her a very long moment to realize that more of her body was covered with warmth and weight than just what Denzel and Marlene could manage and that the smells in her bed consisted of more than just the familiar scents of her siblings. Feeling like she had thick felt, thick wet felt, wrapped around her brain, she blinked open eyes in the gloom. She saw – skin. Which didn't tell her much. And so she blinked again and tried to lift a hand to rub at her eyes. The first hand she tried was trapped under someone. Marlene, she thought, recognizing the fabric of her sister's favorite fuzzy pajamas. Her other hand was loose but that arm was tangled backward and forward, Denzel's own arm caught in the elbow crook of hers and the hand forward to touch –

Her fingers brushed what they were touching experimentally. More skin. Very warm skin.

Not brother or sister skin.

With a jerk of air into her lungs, she remembered everything in a rush and her eyes flew open wide again. Denzel was lying against her back, head between her shoulder blades. Marlene was lying in front of her, legs tossed over hers and most of her body nestled in the curve of Tifa's. But – Cloud was behind Marlene, body providing shelter for the curl of the little girl's back. And it was his arm that Tifa's hand was resting, curved lightly against. Her head was also tucked down and when she shifted to lift it, she felt the tickle of Cloud's exhales against her temple and the light pull from where his fingers were tangled in her dark hair.

There was a blanket awkwardly spread over all of them and a pillow half off the bed.

She must have fallen asleep sitting on the bed, Tifa thought. Not that shocked considering the day she'd had. But that meant that Denzel and Marlene had been the ones to tuck them all in. The thought made her smile softly to herself. They'd tucked themselves in with her. And… Cloud…

It should have made her sleep light. Wary. But she'd slept deep and peaceful without a single dream. By the way he was breathing so soft and low against her back, even Denzel had slept without dreams last night.

Peaceful.

With a stranger in their bed with them.

Except… it didn't feel that strange or unusual.

Mentally, Tifa shook her head at herself. Thinking like that would do nothing but get her in trouble and so she pushed it aside and concentrated on the practicals. And the first of those was figuring out how to untangle herself from their comfortable pile without waking anyone up.

It took some doing. Arms, legs, bodies, they were all twisted together pretty completely, even Cloud and by the time Tifa finally managed to climb out into the cold morning air, she had to push her hair out of her face. And resist the very strong urge to just crawl back in and go back to sleep in that warmth and peace. If she did no one would make breakfast however and so she settled everyone as comfortably as she could and tucked the blanket in around all of them. She probably shouldn't leave Denzel and Marlene in bed with a strange man – that was hardly good parenting. Except – Cloud was still dead weight and unresponsive. Though he didn't feel as hot today as he had yesterday and his face wasn't tight and thin over his bones. She thought – she thought he looked pretty peaceful too and found herself looking at the pile of her family and Cloud and smiling softly. Shaking her head at herself this time in truth, she moved over to the desk and dug through the papers on it until she found the flyer Yuffie had put her number on. The numbers were all big and loopy and easy to read and so Tifa dialed them into her cell phone as she let herself out of the room and quietly shut the door, clothes she intended to change into over her arm.

An answering machine picked up and Yuffie's cheerful voice informed her that she'd missed the girl but to leave a message or else. That made Tifa smile too and she realized she'd been smiling a great deal lately and, given the circumstances, really shouldn't be.

"Hey. It's Tifa. From the convention. 'Rita'? Anyway – I – can you call me back? Its – about Clash and its important." Then she rattled off her number and finished with a thanks. Hung up and stared at the phone. Somehow leaving a message that an unconscious and helpless Cloud was stashed in her bedroom didn't seem the kind of thing you'd leave on an answering machine anyone with Yuffie's phone could check. Maybe it was the needle marks on his arm… but Tifa just didn't think where he was should be common knowledge.

And she sure wasn't going to call Shinra and tell them she had one of their troopers in her house.

Instead, she got ready for the day and slipped the cell phone into her pants pocket before heading downstairs.

It was colder downstairs and again she wished she'd been able to spare some mattresses. Cid was stretched out on the floor next to the booth they'd put Shera on and Leon was sleeping in a sitting position in a hidden corner behind the bar that would let him watch the door. Tifa checked on Shera to find she had the expected fever and then reached down to wrap the blanket back up around Leon's shoulders. She'd thought he was asleep but he whispered:

"Thank you" as she did and she touched the top of his head with a smile and went into the kitchen.

She made a large breakfast. If this kept up she was going to have to go shopping and soon. She'd hoarded her money from the stint working the bar at the convention and was grateful for that now. Most of the sellers knew her and her family and they would give her credit if she asked, at least a little – but Tifa hated doing that. It was less a matter of pride and more a matter of the fact that, if she barely earned enough to keep things moving along now – how was she supposed to come up with extra to pay off the people she owed? Still, it wasn't as if she wasn't going to feed the people in her care.

By the time the food was ready, both Cid and Leon were in the kitchen sniffing appreciatively. It made her smile and she was serving them just as Denzel came down the stairs as well. She gave him two plates but loaded them both so that there would be enough for three. She didn't know if Cloud could eat or not but he'd swallowed the broth last night and, if his fever really was broken, she really wanted solid food inside him. Denzel got the carton with the last of the juice in it to take upstairs with him. Everyone else was on water rations until she could get to the store but she didn't hear any complaints. She didn't hear much of anything in fact except the sounds of Denzel's boots headed back up the stairs and two men eating like there was no tomorrow. It made her smile and she picked up the first aid kit. Leon caught her wrist as she started past.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked and she gave him a smile.

"Right now I'm running on java. My stomach should wake up enough for something solid in about half an hour. Don't worry, I'll eat. But first I'm going to go take care of Shera and bring something upstairs for my dad to take with his medicine."

Leon's eyes were solemn.

"He's more than 'sick' isn't he, Tifa?"

It brought her to a stop and she looked down at the kit in her hands. Exhaled softly.

"He's dying." She met Leon's eyes. "He has been for years. Something in his lungs."

"I'm sorry," he told her sincerely and she nodded with a weak smile. Knowing he meant it and glad he wasn't trying to sell her optimism about something he didn't have any knowledge about the way some people did when they found out.

"Eat your food before it gets cold" she moved her chin to indicate his plate and then went out to take care of Shera.

The woman was burning up, though not as hot as Cloud had been yesterday and the wound looked just as hot and angry as it had every right to. But it didn't look septic and so Tifa carefully cleaned it again and reapplied the salve and bandages. She was running out of salve and so after she'd cleaned her hands in the kitchen and picked up a tray of food for her father, she dialed Aerith on her cell phone as she went up the stairs. Her friend answered the phone even at this early hour and from the sound of her voice, Tifa knew she'd probably been up all night. Probably working on something with her pencils. Once Aerith got started it was impossible to get her to stop until she was satisfied.

"Hey, Aerith. When you get the chance could you come over and bring me some of that healing balm you make?" She smiled at the way the voice on the other line suddenly jerked upward in pitch and volume, suddenly completely aware of the conversation and shook her head as she used a hip to push her father's door open.

"No. No, everyone's fine. I just dropped the jar and I want to have more in case anything comes up… I know it's a plastic jar. - It - spilled. Uh – because I burned my finger cooking?" Tifa's eyebrows flattened out. "Look, if you're so curious why don't you come over with a new jar and see? Mmm. That's what I thought. I'll see you soon. And – Aerith – walk careful. Nothing - I just – its weird out on the streets right now. Right. See you soon."

She hung up and saw her father was awake and watching her.

"You talking to that flower girl?" he asked and she nodded as she moved to set the tray on the stand next to his bed. Her father frowned. "I don't want Marlene getting any ideas from her, you know."

"Ideas?" Tifa asked absently as she moved to the bed to start propping up pillows and helping her father struggle to rise.

"Ideas" he managed to make them sound foul between his coughing. "That flower girl is some kind of free thinker. Anyone her age should be concentrating on getting a man, not scribbling on paper and growing flowers. Flowers! You can't eat flowers."

"She takes care of her mother. Kind of like I take care of you," Tifa commented mildly. It was hardly a new argument. If it could even be called an argument anymore.

"Still, its not right. Girl her age should be getting married and having kids."

"Like me?" Tifa asked and that ended the tirade. The same way it always did. Or at least it always did. Today –

"Like you" her father answered, voice softer and when Tifa looked at him in surprise he shrugged and looked away.

"I know you spend so much time taking care of me and the kids that you don't take care of yourself. A man would take care of you."

It was – so unexpected and sweet and absolutely clueless that Tifa couldn't help but bend down and kiss her father's forehead. He scowled at her and she gave him a smile in response. Her family didn't talk about their emotions. Or even acknowledge them most of the time. Actions tended to take the place of words for them.

"I made eggs for breakfast" she said instead and spend the next ten minutes while he ate listening to him grumble, cough, chew and otherwise pretend they hadn't just had a 'moment'. By the time she had him medicated and settled in with the news radio, she was smiling.

The children were in her bedroom, sitting on the bed with their feet tucked up under them. The dishes were neatly set on the tray on the desk and Tifa added their father's dishes to them. Marlene and Denzel were playing cards and using Cloud's blanket covered chest as their table. Walking over, Tifa glanced over their shoulders at both of their hands and tested Cloud's temperature again with fingertips to his forehead. Not about to tell the kids not to use him as furniture. She thought the inclusion was good for him even if he wasn't aware of it and furthermore – it was just what happened to you when you went into the Lockhart household and couldn't defend yourself. If Cloud didn't want to be a card pile, he was just going to have to save himself.

He showed no signs of doing so. But his breathing was deeper and more relaxed than it had been and, though his skin was still warm, it wasn't hot or sweaty or dry. Tifa took that as a good sign.

"Did he eat?" she asked, fingers still lingering on his forehead and Marlene nodded.

"Denzel helped prop him up and I put the food in his mouth and he chewed and swallowed all on his own. He even opened his eyes for some of it, but I don't think he really saw anything. We gave him most of the juice too." It was a confession but Tifa smiled and stroked her free hand down Marlene's hair.

"It's okay," she told them. "It's good for him, I'm sure."

Both of her siblings smiled and she ruffled Denzel's messy hair.

"Aerith is going to come by soon. I think its okay to tell her about Cloud as long as we make sure she knows he's a secret."

"Is she going to heal him?" Marlene asked and Tifa shook her head. Aerith had this – strange way of being able to make pain go away. Only small pains but – it was still magic to Tifa and the children looked at the other girl with just a hint of awe.

"I don't think she can. I think he just needs rest now. But I'm going to ask her if she can do anything for the woman downstairs."

"Shera" Marlene nodded and at Tifa's questioning look the little girl stated: "The guy next to her whispered her name a couple of time when he thought no one was paying attention while I was down there. I got him a drink from the bar. That's what you do when guys come in to the bar at night muttering a woman's name that way."

Tifa chuckled.

"Well, let's not give him too many more of those." Marlene made an 'of course not' face at her and Tifa ruffled her hair the same way she had Denzel's, causing Marlene to drop her cards to defend it.

"You guys be good and let me know if you need anything" Tifa headed for the door. "I'll either send her or come up with Aerith when she gets here."

Downstairs again, she poured herself another cup of coffee and sat down to eat at the now empty table. Leon was gone again and Cid had taken up his vigil next to Shera again. All of the dishes she'd left behind were clean and it made her smile. When she finished breakfast and washed the rest of the dishes she poured another cup of coffee and went over to set it on the table next to Cid. He was an older man, with sandy blond hair going grey at its edges and he looked weathered. Like someone that had had a hard life. All the same he obviously cared for the woman on the bench and Tifa laid a hand on his shoulder.

"The wound looks good," she told him. "I checked it this morning and I think it will heal just fine if we're careful. I've invited over someone that I know that's a bit of a healer." At his look she waved a hand. "Don't worry, they don't know why they're coming over and they'll keep your secret just as much as I will. Leon's met them before too."

"Leon suddenly knows people every fucking where we go," Cid muttered, dragging his hands through his short hair. "Don't know where the hell he finds time to meet them all."

"No cursing. I've got kids living here," Tifa stated mildly. A rule that every patron to her bar heard, sometimes more than once, but never more than twice. She gave the man's shoulder a pat to show she wasn't upset though. "Leon can be very persuasive when he wants to be. I can't imagine many people not going along with his plans."

"Shi- dam- very true" Cid chuckled and then probably decided it was better to simply not talk than to talk and have to try to find language that didn't have foul connotations. Tifa gave him a smile and another pat on the shoulder and then went to the basement to bring up a crate of beer. She couldn't really afford to keep the bar closed two nights in a row. Especially not if she was feeding double. But she didn't know what she was going to do with Leon's group. Shera was in no condition to move and she didn't think the others would leave her. Maybe she could get the woman moved to the kid's room. She pressed her lips together and frowned. Her separate worlds were getting closer together and that just wasn't safe.

Upstairs she heard the front door open and close and that meant Aerith since she had a key. Tifa gave her key out only to people that she trusted completely and that list was very small. Quick, thinking she was going to have to explain why she had a wounded body in her bar to her friend, Tifa picked up the wooden case and headed up the stairs, breath misting cold in front of her. The basement was definitely not the place to be pausing to do her thinking in this kind of weather.

She was just to the door at the top of the stairs, angling it open with her hip, when Marlene screamed her name.

Everything else was forgotten and the crate crashed to the floor, beer and broken glass pouring down the stairs as Tifa hurtled the mess and bolted for the upstairs. Marlene didn't scream. Not ever and if she was screaming now it was for dire reasons. Tifa's heart, despite the short time it took her to clear the bar and the stairs, still found time to lodge in her throat and cut off her air.

Cid came skidding out of the bathroom at about the same time Tifa tore open her bedroom door.

And saw Cloud. Out of bed and aware. With his huge sword in hand. About to kill Barrett.


	17. Chapter 17: Cloud

_wow - almost double the reviews and my day after hits were through the roof! You guys are awesome, you should see my eyes all large and shiny. And I was worried that going 'serious' or at least semi-serious with this wouldn't work. Cloti222 - I feel like we should be holding hands and jumping in circles squeeing. Your enthusiasm is seriously catching. I wrote like a authornado thanks to you. Peeka-chan and City of Dis - I'm throwing in an extra chapter just for your two awesome reviews - yum, detailed reviews. Eagle-heart - its snuggle time! thanks to your review (er, character snuggling, not us). And ahh, man, Kueilan, its so good to get another review from you, I feel like I've got a buddy backing me up. ps- zi-ling - you were first reviewer on the new updates and so this chapter is all for you._

Chapter 17: Cloud

"No!"

Tifa reacted without thinking and threw herself at Cloud. Her body impacted with his and he was like a wall of iron. But he reacted to her tackle, jerking his sword aside and she used his momentum and shift of balance to sweep her foot behind his ankle and jerk. She didn't have bulk on her. She'd had to learn to fight using pressure points and counter weight. Cloud's ankle twisted and the rest of him followed it down. Wrapped around him, Tifa went down too. They hit the end corner of the bed and it flipped them both so that they fell even more awkwardly the short distance to the floor. Tifa shut her eyes tightly with two thoughts in her head. How hard and cold the floor was going to feel – and the fact that there was an awful lot of very sharp steel somewhere in their mix. She heard Denzel shout her name. And then the air was knocked out of her as she impacted with the floor.

It hurt. A lot. But not as bad as she'd worried it would. For one – she didn't feel anything metal buried in her. And for two – all of her bones still felt intact. The floor felt freezing under her and the heat above and around her told her Cloud was on top. Their legs were tangled together and one of his arms was under her. She opened her eyes and saw –

Sunshine…

His hair. Ridiculous – but she found it made her smile.

Painful she pulled a breath into her lungs. Cloud didn't move from on top of her. Dead weight again and the sudden panic that he might have stabbed himself with that giant sword coursed through her. Frantic, she moved her hands that were already on him, over his back. Nothing. He was still breathing.

Oh. Thank God.

"Tifa?" Marlene's tiny voice and Tifa raised a hand to wave it.

"It's all right, Marlene. Everything's all right."

"Tifa…"

It was a whisper. An exhale. A sound against her throat and it made her eyes go wide.

"Cloud?"

He was silent for so long she thought she'd imagined it. Then she felt his fingers move against her back. Against her skin at the small of her back and she realized her shirt must have hiked a bit in the fall. The feel of the heat of his fingers in contrast to the cold of the floor made her shiver and she suddenly lost track of all the noise going on in the room.

"You – grew up…?" His voice was so soft she could barely hear it. Puzzled and young. His fingertips pressed into her skin but not enough to hurt. Other than that, he didn't move.

"I – " she wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about. "I guess I did" she guessed and felt him press his face deeper into her throat. Her stomach did the strangest little dip.

"I didn't get to - watch... I'm sorry... I was supposed to become a SOLDIER - to watch over you… to be strong enough… I wanted - to be your hero again. But – I couldn't… I never - made it back to watch you…"

"Cloud?" The noise level in the room was rising rapidly but all she heard distinctly was his voice, spoken in pausing exhales. He wasn't making any sense at all. But he was talking at least. That had to mean something good - didn't it?

"Tifa…" His breath burned her name into her own skin as he exhaled it. And then the pressure of his fingers went slack and she felt his head go lax. For the strangest reason – she felt tears in her throat and couldn't explain them.

"Tifa?" Denzel's voice and it was low and almost against her ear. She turned her head – just a little – and saw he was crouched down in the small space next to her that was between the bed and the wall. She gave him a weak smile and reached out to touch his cheek. Her other arm slipped around Cloud's back.

"It's okay, Denzel. We're fine. What happened?"

"We were playing cards" Marlene's voice on the other side of her and crouched low and quiet as well. "Then Barrett busted in with a roar – just to startle us – like he usually does, you know?"

"Not like we didn't hear him coming up the stairs" Denzel remarked dryly. Marlene ignored his interruption.

"Anyway, he roared and I pretended he'd scared me, like I always do – and then Cloud was off the bed and he had his sword."

"I've never seen anyone move that fast. Not ever" Denzel sounded more impressed than scared.

"I didn't know what to do so I screamed for you." Tifa couldn't see her but she could actually feel Marlene's wince. "Sorry."

"No. You did right. I – " Tifa paused. "I told him to protect you two. I didn't think he was listening. It was just to make him feel necessary. I didn't realize…" Her voice trailed off and her hand on Cloud's back spread and tightened. She hadn't realized he'd do as she asked – even unconscious and weak with sickness.

"Hn" was Denzel's comment on that fact and all three of the Lockhart children spent a moment in quiet contemplation.

The noise in the doorway rose to a new pitch.

"Hey – Tifa?" Aerith's face suddenly appeared above her as her friend crouched on the bed and looked down, face torn between worry and curiosity. "Are you going to get up any time soon?"

Tifa sighed and patted her fingertips against the warm skin of Cloud's back.

"I'd rather not," she answered. "He's warm and they sound really angry over by the door." She said it lightly – but that didn't mean she didn't mean it. Aerith gave her a stifled smile and her eyes relaxed.

"More freaking out than angry. Barrett's about to blow a fuse – going on about dangerous men with giant carving knives and your dad is hollering from his room at everyone to keep it down. I think the guy from the convention is here and there's another guy I don't know and Barrett's not letting them into the room because he doesn't know them. Neither one of the them wants to let the other go so they're arguing with each other and pretty much leaving you on your own at the moment." She paused. "Do you know you've got a woman asleep in your bar?"

Tifa couldn't help it. She snorted a laugh. Some days – she adored Aerith.

"You want to hide down here with us?" she asked and her friend grinned.

"Is that Blond, Cute, and Quiet from the convention too?"

"Aerith, it is such a long story I'm not even sure it's going to make sense when I tell it."

"Nonsense stories are the best kind" her friend assured her.

With a groan, Tifa sat up, slipping her arms around Cloud to hold him against her while she did. It left him laid sideways on the floor, his upper body supported against hers and in her arms. His head was against her shoulder and his soft hair tickled her throat. She hadn't been kidding – he really was wonderfully warm.

"Where's – " she started and Denzel jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the giant sword he'd apparently recovered from wherever it had fallen and stashed in the far corner, closer to them than the rest of the group. Tifa nodded at him. Sometimes common sense and self-preservation superceded orders not to touch things. Then Tifa cleared her throat.

It was a quiet sound but one she'd practiced on rambunctious children for many years and the raised voices in the doorway suddenly stopped. Tifa shot them all – and Leon was among the small group – a level glare across the surface of the bed.

"Out. Downstairs. **Everyone**." She ordered it in her 'don't test me' voice. The one she used on customers just before she knocked their chair out from under them. She got wide-eyed blinks in response and then there was a shuffling movement as everyone edged out of her doorway and out of sight. Aerith stayed where she was on the bed and watched. Tifa exhaled again and absently stroked Cloud's hair.

He'd been defending her sister and brother…

"Thank you" she lowered her head to murmur it against his ear. He gave no response but she wasn't so sure he couldn't hear her anymore. Gentle she laid a kiss to the tip of his ear, more a habit from her usual reward for her siblings than in actual thought, and then she raised her head.

"Okay" she told the small crew that remained. "Let's get him back in bed."

It took some doing but they managed to get Cloud upright and then onto the bed. Tifa got him propped up with a pillow against the headboard and tucked the blanket in around him again. Somewhere in the jostling, his eyes had opened and the sightless blue of them stared at nothing.

"He's – really weird" Aerith told Tifa as they got him comfortably upright and Tifa gave her a curious look. This from the girl that had dressed up and worn ears that were longer out than her shoulders just over a month ago? Aerith shrugged.

"When I touch his skin, my palms tingle." She held up her palms as if they could all see it but Tifa didn't see anything other than soft hands. Aerith met Tifa's eyes. "Its like that whenever I get near leaks in the power conduits where the mako is."

It took a minute to register but when it did Tifa's eyes went wide and she looked at Cloud with new understanding.

"Mako poisoning?"

Aerith rested her hands in her lap and just looked at Tifa. Tifa reached out and gently touched Cloud's forehead. Then she put a hand under his chin and tipped his face up to her. It was – terrible to see nothing in the startling blue of his eyes when she was used to seeing so much but she looked past that and at the color itself. Purest, intense blue. But not regular blue. Aqua. And as she searched carefully she could start to see streaks of green that radiated out from the darkness of his pupils. The green she'd seen in them when she'd first found him… the way his eyes had glowed in the dark…

- the fact he could lift that huge sword with one hand…

Under her study, his eyes flickered briefly. Life and awareness briefly swimming through the depths of that tropic blue before it faded away again.

Mako… concentrated Lifestream… the essence of life and death itself… and he would have had to be saturated in it to be as sick as he was.

"It's okay, Cloud," she told him softly. "Everything's okay now. We're going to make sure you get better."

She said it but – from what she'd heard mako poisoning was not only rare, it was unpredictable. He might never come back to himself or he might come back in pieces that would never fit together. Every soul that had ever swum this world had had a chance to invade his mind and soul. How did that affect someone?

Drawing back she looked at the three faces watching her expectantly.

"You guys stay here and keep an eye on Cloud. See if you can get him to drink some more." She stood up. "I'm going to go downstairs and settle everything down."

Not that she wanted to – it was much more peaceful here. But she needed to settle things and the sooner she started the sooner she'd have it done. First she stopped by her father's room though and assured him that she'd kicked the rowdy bar patrons back downstairs. At least that's who he'd thought they were and she didn't correct him. His concept of time was vague at best and there was no way she was going to try to explain to him what had really happened. When he was finally settled, she started down the stairs. And as she walked, her shoulders drew back and her lips started to frown.

She knew. If she went down there apologetic, they'd eat her alive. If she went down there mad at them however…

By the time she reached the floor and strode into the bar, she was furious.

"How dare you?" she started it with a growl. All three of the men were standing at various stations around the room, arms crossed over their chests. Tifa set her hands on her hips and glared. "He's sick and now he might get worse. Is it so much to ask you to control yourselves when you're in my house?!"

It worked on Barrett. Who scowled at her and jerked his thumb at Cid and Leon.

"I didn't do nothing. It was them and that crazy man you've got in your room. All I did was show up and next thing I knew everyone was trying to kill me!"

"He didn't know you, Barrett. He thought he was defending the kids." She gestured with a finger. "That's what you get for always having to try to scare them instead of just announcing yourself like a normal person."

Barrett looked down and muttered something about 'people **still** tryin' to kill him' but she knew he was safely out of the dangerous area. For the moment. He'd get back there once he realized the guy was in her bed. She turned her attention on Cid and Leon. Cid was looking down and ripping open a new pack of cigarettes and since he wasn't volunteering anything, she didn't either. Instead she locked eyes with Leon.

"He's my friend," she stated fiercely. His cold eyes met hers and didn't back down.

"You could have mentioned you had a man in your bed."

She felt Barrett start to inflate next to her again as the words registered but she spoke before he could get anything out. She decided not to take Leon's words the way Barrett had.

"He's unconscious. He has been since I brought him home. He wouldn't even have known you were in the house if he hadn't thought someone was threatening the children. You were perfectly safe."

His arms didn't uncross and his eyes didn't change.

"How many people are you going to let know we're here? I thought we were supposed to be a secret."

She exhaled and shifted, leaning up against a wall herself, arms folded over her stomach.

"You _are_ a secret. I didn't know Barrett was coming but he's not a friend of Shinra. He's my friend and I trust him with my own brother and sister. You met Aerith at the convention and there's no one I trust more. I asked her to come here because she's good with healing and I thought Shera needed all the help she could get. And Cloud would never have known you were here if Barrett hadn't walked in and startled him. He probably doesn't even register that anyone else was in the room as sick as he is."

Leon pushed off of the wall and walked over to her. Looking down into her face.

"Why's he here?" he asked softly and his eyes weren't ice anymore. She didn't have to ask which 'he' Leon was talking about.

"He's sick and he needed me. He's an old childhood friend." It popped out without thought but it sounded safe so Tifa used it. "When I picked him up at the train station there was no way I could let him go anywhere but here until he got better."

The last bit wasn't exactly a lie. Just – a careful wording of the truth.

"That's a very – distinctive sword."

She gave Leon a tired smile. That she could answer in a way that would help keep their minds from jumping to the conclusion her's already had.

"He's from Wutai. From what I can tell they're big on bladed weapons there."

Leon exhaled and put his hands on her shoulders, giving her a light little shake.

"You scared me, Tifa. Don't do that again."

"Trust me" the smile she gave him was stronger and more relaxed. "I don't want to do that again either."


	18. Chapter 18: Help

Chapter 18: Help

After things had settled down a bit more and she saw that all the men were willing to fall back into their routines, Tifa headed for the mess she'd left at the top of the stairs. It needed to be cleaned up but –

"Hey, Teef." Barrett had followed her. She knew he still needed to talk to her and so she'd wandered over to a semi-private area so he could. Pulling a mop, some cleaning rags and a bag out of the kitchen closet, she looked back at him. Some of the drain this had done to her must have showed because he came over and rested his huge hand on her shoulder. His other hand was a mechanical implant. Gatling gun. Moving between towns through the wildness wasn't exactly a safe line of work.

"That boy really shouldn't be here."

She gave a soft sound, half chuckle, half comment on his statement. Shaking her head she reached up to give his arm a squeeze.

"Yes, he should Barrett. He's sick but we're used to that here. And you saw – no one's going to touch Denzel and Marlene while he's around."

Barrett grunted and scowled.

"Just cause he's dangerous to other people don't mean he's not dangerous to you too, Teef," he lectured her sternly. Like the father she'd never had. "An' what's he doin' in your bed anyway? Why ain't he in one of the kid's beds?"

"He's in my bed because it's the room closest to the stairs and I couldn't drag him any further." Which was the truth. Mostly. She thought.

"Not like I can't pick him up an' carry him into the kid's room" Barrett told her. Which she thought was either brave of him or foolish considering Cloud had already tried to gut him once. "He can have one bed an' that sick lady can have the other an' you and the kids can sleep safe in your own room."

Technically, it made sense. However – she didn't want Leon and his group to have any more contact with Cloud than absolutely necessary. If they figured out he might have been at the Mako reactor… or worse, they figured his sword might have been what almost killed Shera… if they would blow up a reactor full of people she didn't think a heat of the moment response to a helpless Cloud would make much difference to them. Of course there was no way she could tell Barrett that either. Gentle she laid a hand on his beefy arm.

"I'm going to give the group in the bar the kid's room for tonight. And I want either me or one of the kids to be able to keep an eye on Cloud all night long which means one of us would have to sleep in there with them." Barrett frowned as he thought that over. "Which means my room would be practically unused because you know I'm not going to leave the kids alone when I've got strangers here. It makes sense to leave him in my room."

Barrett's frown deepened. Tifa thought, for a spur of the moment excuse, it actually sounded surprisingly logical.

"But it don't look right, Teef. He's – he's a guy. An' he's in your bed. It just – " he folded his arms as best he could with the metal in the way. "I'm not letting anyone start any mean rumors about you. You're my little girl and I ain't letting people talk about you. You're not like that."

It was so sweet Tifa stood on tiptoe to give his cheek a light kiss. He went as red as his dark skin would allow and she smiled at him.

"Thanks, Barrett. But with two kids and Aerith in there, I don't think anything could happen even if anyone wanted it to."

Barrett frowned but then he reached out and took the mop from her.

"You go upstairs an' get Aerith to look at that hurt girl in your bar. I can clean up whatever mess you're fixin' to."

She shouldn't have but – with a nod and a smile she handed over her cleaning supplies.

"I dropped a crate of beer on the cellar steps when I heard Marlene scream."

Then she headed into the bar area.

"I'm going to go get Aerith to help with Shera," she announced to the men that were sitting at the table in deep conversation. "After that, if you're careful, I think we can move her into the kid's room."

Leon's head rose and his eyes looked at her. She saw concern and gratefulness warring in them. Gentle she gave him a smile.

"It's okay. I wouldn't be able to stop worrying if you went anywhere else with her."

With that she headed up the stairs and tapped lightly on her bedroom door before letting herself in. The kids and Aerith were sitting on the bed surrounding Cloud's still unconscious form. Apparently the kids had been showing Aerith the needle scars on the inside of his arm. Privacy and personal information didn't hold much water in this house if you couldn't defend them yourself, Tifa thought with a smile.

"Denzel, I need you and Marlene to drag one of your mattresses back into your room and set up a bed with clean sheets. We're going to move Shera in there after Aerith has a chance to look at her."

With a mission, and still full of energy from recent incidents, Denzel and Marlene leaped off the bed and started moving with determination. Aerith looked up at her friend.

"When you said things were weird, you really weren't kidding, were you?"

Tifa laughed quietly.

"Oh, you have no idea."

While the kids dragged things around and went in and out of the room, effectively blocking the chance of eavesdropping by anyone, Tifa quietly filled Aerith in on everything – **everything** – that had happened and that she knew so far. By the end, Aerith's eyes were satisfyingly huge in her pale face. After a long moment, she said:

"It's kind of exciting, isn't it?"

Tifa broke into a smile she couldn't stop at her friend's summary.

"Yeah" she agreed with a quiet laugh. "And scary and nerve wrecking and a little bit sad too."

Aerith tapped her chin thoughtfully and looked down at Cloud, still unconscious between them.

"I like him here" she decided and again Tifa had to stifle a chuckle. Aerith looked at her and her friend's face softened as she leaned forward to touch Tifa's cheek.

"You're happy again. That deep down happy that sinks into your soul. I can tell."

"Aerith…" Tifa warned with an indulgent smile and her friend shook her head.

"No. Don't pretend you're not, Teef. Its okay and I won't say it again but don't deny it to yourself. I wanted you to realize it so you could enjoy it."

The 'while it lasts' hung unsaid in the air. Nothing in the slums lasted forever, bright emotions most of all. But – when they did come… Tifa didn't agree with her friend about the 'happy'. But she didn't deny it either.

"Come on" she took Aerith's hands in hers. "I want you to look at the woman downstairs."

Aerith's eyes slid to the giant sword, again propped up against the wall where it had been previously. Everything Tifa suspected, Aerith knew now too. But she didn't make any judgments any more than Tifa had. Instead she squeezed Tifa's hands and smiled.

"All right."

Tifa left the children bustling around between the rooms and went downstairs with her friend.

"Cid, this is Aerith. Leon, you remember her from the convention? Aerith – Cid, Leon, Shera." Introductions out of the way, she let Aerith and Cid head over to where Shera was lying motionless and she sat down in the chair across from Leon. Face very serious, she told him:

"I think you should tell Barrett what you do."

His brows twitched low for a moment and he folded his hands on the table. He didn't dismiss the idea outright, which told her that he respected her enough to trust her judgment. Instead he simply asked:

"Why?"

"Barrett runs cargo. From Midgar to everywhere on all three continents. He's one of the fastest and the best there is and he'll get things where no one else can." She paused and watched Leon's eyes. "He's not picky about what he transports and he has no love of Shinra. He's a good man. Once he's decided to be loyal he won't break it. He's moral too even though he pretends he's not. And – he would never do anything to hurt me." She met Leon's grey eyes with hers. "He could help you. You need help."

His eyes held hers and she watched the different thoughts and emotions run through them. His hands moved across the table and closed warm around hers. He exhaled.

"Why are you risking so much?"

Tifa gave him a wry smile.

"Because I believe you. Shinra is going to kill our planet. Already things won't grow around the reactors and the monsters seem to get more every year. Someone's got to do something and if I can't be helpful, at least I can be useful. Because of Denzel and Marlene. And – and because I remember what it used to be like to live in the sun every day and I don't want to be the last one to do that."

She wasn't sure the explanation made entire sense. She wasn't sure she entirely understood why she was doing what she was either. But – she knew she had to do something. She was using the life of the planet for her own comfort and convenience as much as anyone else. Just as guilty and the children of tomorrow would blame her just as much as anyone else. Someone had to do something before it was too late.

Leon's hands squeezed hers gently and his shy, quiet smile touched his mouth.

"Okay. I'll go talk to him."

She gave him a smile of her own in return.

"He's in the basement on the stairs. He's trying to clean up the mess I made when I dropped a crate of beer. Ten minutes ago he would have been too stubborn to take your help but by now he's worn himself down trying to do it with only one hand. If you offer to help him – it just might lead to something."

Leon shook his head at her and smiled.

"Remind me to never underestimate you."

She shook her head and stood up. Aerith stood up from where she'd been kneeling next to Shera as well. Her friend looked drained but all she said was:

"It should be okay to move her now. And I think the fever will break soon too."

Tifa had no idea how her friend did it without materia. She didn't even try to figure it out anymore. But if Aerith said it, than it was true. She gave Leon a gentle push toward the kitchen.

"We'll make sure Shera is tucked in. You go be useful."

He went one way and Cid carried Shera the other, following Tifa and Aerith up the stairs and into the children's bedroom where Marlene's bed was set up and waiting. Gentle, the gruff man set the woman in the bed and Tifa watched the color come back to his face as Shera sighed and turned onto her side. Aerith's magic at work. Leaving the two of them together, Tifa steered her friend out of the room and into her own where she gave her siblings a nod of approval for their work in the other room.

"Get some sleep" she directed her friend to the mattress left on the floor and Aerith went without argument. Tifa tucked her in the same way she tucked in the children once her friend was lying down and in less time than that took, Aerith was sound asleep. Tifa looked at the sleeping forms in her bedroom – thought about the one in the children's room – and thought to herself that she was going to have to expand the building if this kept up. Strangely, it felt – good though and Tifa accepted that without trying to figure out why too hard. Knowing her friend would wake up if Cloud got restless, Tifa gestured to her brother and sister.

"Come on" she ushered them toward the door. "Let's go do something and stretch our legs."

"Playground?" Marlene asked hopefully and Tifa gave another look at the two sleeping occupants in the room. With a nod, she agreed.

"Playground."


	19. Chapter 19: Hero

Chapter 19: Hero

By the time the Lockhart siblings got back from the playground they all had numb noses and ears but they were smiling. Technically they were all too old for seeing who could swing the highest on the swings and climbing backwards up the slide – somehow it didn't stop them and Tifa was just as bad as her siblings. The bar was still standing as they let themselves into it so Tifa took that as a good sign. Leon and Barrett were no where to be found but the stairs to the basement were clean and so Tifa thought they hadn't killed each other. Probably. Checking upstairs, Cloud and Aerith were still both sleeping and Cid was dozing in a chair next to Shera who was breathing much easier. Even her father was sleeping and Tifa helped the children unbundled and then let them help her make dinner. Which meant things got messier than usual but that was all right. There was a light mood in the house, which was odd. For itself but especially considering the circumstances. Tifa didn't question it. You didn't question good things when they came your way.

Efficient, she loaded her brother and sister up with trays with food for two each and sent them up to her room with strict orders to make sure everyone ate everything. Then she carried a tray up and left a bowl of broth and a plate for Cid on the small desk next to the bed, trusting the smell to wake him up. They'd had to fend for themselves for lunch and considering the food still in her kitchen she assumed that they'd forgotten to eat. She let herself into her father's room and kept him company while he ate but he wasn't really there. More and more as his body grew frailer and frailer, his mind would wander away from it. Tonight was one of those nights and so, while he ate, it was on automatic and he took his medicine without pause when Tifa gave it to him. It was hard – watching him fade away. And yet, a heartless part of Tifa wished it would just finish. Just – wanted it to finally be over. Horrible thoughts but she'd been taking care of him for so many years that she didn't have the energy to beat herself up for them anymore.

"Good night, daddy" she murmured as she helped him lay down and tucked him in like a child, kissing his forehead since he wasn't aware enough to protest or scowl. For just a moment more she lingered and then she let herself back out and went into the bathroom to change into her work clothes. She had to open the bar tonight. She was going to have to buy food tomorrow.

Peeking into her room on the way past she saw that Aerith was awake and eating. Cloud was propped up in the bed, eyes open and unseeing again but he looked like he was eating the food the children spooned into his mouth. Denzel gave her a thumbs up sign and Aerith smiled, still looking tired but looking much better than she had before she'd taken her nap.

"I'll be downstairs. Come and get me if you need me" she told them. She poked her head into the other room to tell Cid the same basic thing. His plate was already cleared and he was coaxing broth into Shera. Tifa took the empty dishes and washed them in the kitchen downstairs, catching bites off of her own plate as she worked. When she was finished, she moved over to the door and turned the sign in the door to 'open' before unlocking it. Then she went behind the counter and started setting things up.

Her customers drifted in as the evening deepened. Mostly men but some women. Blowing on their hands and stamping their feet as they came in. Settling onto their usual bar stools or at their regular tables. Murmuring or cheerfully cracking their greetings and Tifa greeted them each by name in turn and asked about specifics in their lives as she served up drinks. She knew almost everyone that came to her bar because most of them were regulars. She knew what to expect from each of them, how much they could drink before she cut them off, who to call to come and bring them home if it was needed. But there were always new faces too, transients usually, and Tifa paid the most covert attention to them. On the whole her regulars were protective, both of the bar itself and its owner that made them feel important enough to remember in a world that didn't care if they had a name. That wasn't always a good thing though. Tifa had learned to read the mood of the crowd from years of experience. Tonight it was – tired and yet restless. The loss of the Mako reactor in a different section meant power siphoned off of theirs, the slums were always the first to be stripped of their power to provide for the upper Plates. It also meant work, in this case even more than just repairs. Construction. Where simply having a strong back and a willingness to work was good enough. Temporary jobs. Temporary gil. Temporary view of how the world above them lived and all the things they didn't have. It brought up a lot of different emotions in a lot of people and they brought all of it with them when they came to her bar to drink and unwind.

Tifa rode it like a practiced wave rider, inserting a word here, a question there, a smile elsewhere as she smoothly moved from bar to tables and back again in constant motion. The noise level shifted in waves as well and it was during one peek – a large table of men who'd worked on the construction all day long laughing raucously over yet another of their leader's jokes, when Tifa looked up with instinctive reflex just as Denzel came trotting down the stairs. She nodded and he headed over to the bar where Tifa was pouring drinks onto glasses on a tray.

"Everything all right?" she asked, brows lowering as she saw the look in his eyes. Denzel shook his head, looking confused.

"Cloud's restless," he told her, reaching under the counter to pull out the beers Tifa pointed to. "He won't lay still and he keeps moving around. Aerith says she's going to have to sit on him soon because he's not settling down."

Tifa frowned as she popped the lids off the beers and slid them down the counter to the waiting patrons.

"Okay. I'll be right up" she told him and sent him back while she passed out the drinks on her tray. "Johnny, watch the bar for me for a couple of minutes, all right?" she asked the young man sitting near the edge of it. With two kids and a father, there were times Tifa needed to leave things and Johnny had always proved himself helpful. All it cost Tifa in return was a couple nights of free drinks and since the young man didn't drink to get drunk it was a pretty easy price to pay. He gave her a smile and nodded, picking up his drink to move behind the counter while Tifa rinsed off her hands and dried them on a towel before heading up the stairs.

She walked into the bedroom to find Cloud sitting up with his legs swung off the bed and his bare feet on the floor. His eyes were open and vague but they weren't the sightless blank she'd expected. His long hands gripped the sides of the bed. Aerith was standing in front of him, hands on his bare shoulders and it looked like she was trying to hold him down. Marlene and Denzel were standing a little to the side, leaving things to the adult – for the moment – but ready to jump in to help at a moment's notice. Tifa moved over to join Aerith.

"What's going on?" she asked her friend.

"He just – sat up," Aerith started. "Jolt upright. He's not listening to us and – "

"Who's here?" His voice was rough and raw, familiar in its softness.

"Cloud?" Tifa reached out and then realized she wasn't sure where to touch him. A shoulder to push him back down or his forehead to feel for heat?

"Who's here?" he repeated, his eyes unfocused, somewhere beyond her.

"Customers" Tifa answered, a part of her wondering why they were having this conversation. Wasn't he supposed to be unconscious? "I had to open the bar. I have a bar."

"Seventh Heaven."

It made Tifa's brows rise because she knew she hadn't told him so. Had someone else mentioned it? Because she couldn't imagine him having been aware enough to actually read the sign when they'd first staggered in.

"Yes." She rested the hand she'd raised on her hip. "And its open and I need to go back downstairs and make sure they pay me for their drinks. But I can't leave you up here if you're going to be trouble for Aerith and the kids."

He paused, brows low over his 'elsewhere' eyes. As if he were trying to make things make sense in his head. When he did speak it was slow and hesitated as it stumbled along.

"Because – your dad is… sick. So you help in – in the bar. No." He shook his head as if frustrated. "You run the bar now." He paused and Tifa was too surprised to try to fill the silence before he finally spoke again, light colored brows twitching down over his eyes.

"Tifa?… Why don't you play the piano anymore?"

Tifa's eyebrows came down and she pressed her lips together. With a motion, she got Aerith to move out of the way so she could kneel down in front of Cloud. To catch his attention she rested her hands on his knees. And it worked. His blue eyes moved to her and they burned even in the light of the room. Yet – she wasn't sure if he was really seeing her because… there was something unfocused in his eyes.

"Cloud" she kept her voice steady even though her heart wasn't exactly. She'd sold her piano over ten years ago to help pay the bills. Shortly after her mother had died. His head shifted, as if he was making it a point to hear her. "How do you know I used to play the piano?"

His face shifted, flickered young and vulnerable and unsure. His eyes narrowed and moved back and forth as if searching inside himself for something. One of his hands rose and hesitantly touched her cheek. Guilt and embarrassment rose to the surface of his face and his eyes moved like a blind man's searching for something he couldn't see as he tried to look at her face.

"I – " even his voice was younger, some of the throatiness and weight stripped away. "I've listened to you. I sit outside – in the alley. When it's not cold you leave the window open when you practice and I can hear you. Sometimes…." His eyes changed and went hopeless. "You cry."

Tifa's throat tightened so much that she couldn't even get out a reply. He hung his head and his eyes disappeared behind his blond hair but his hands covered hers on his legs.

"I – like it when you cry. Because I'm the only one that ever knows about it. You never cry for anyone else. Not even when you hurt yourself or get lost or when your father yells. I'm the only one that knows you cry and it makes me feel like I'm – " his voice faded. "Like I'm special to get to share, even though you don't know I am."

"You're the boy. The one that found the ball we lost when I was all alone."

It was hardly enough description but Cloud's head nodded, setting his hair swaying.

"Everyone had left you. I thought – I thought you might not chase me away the way everyone else always did. I wanted – I wanted to hear you talk to me. You – " his hands over hers moved. "You called me your hero when I found your ball. You kissed my cheek before you ran home." His fingers played unconsciously with hers and his shoulders straightened. "I joined the army. To become SOLDIER. I – I was going to make sure that I could always be your hero." His shoulders had straightened while he talked about it but suddenly they slumped inward and he hunched forward, head still lowered. His fingers went slack. Tifa wound her fingers through his. "I failed" he whispered it. "I'm not your hero at all."

Something in her heart seemed to break into little pieces and without thinking about it, she rose on her knees. Hands linked she couldn't hug him and she didn't want to pull away from him – reject him – not even just for a second. So she laid the side of her face against his and rubbed lightly, cheek against cheek.

The little boy from so long ago. She had remembered him and remembered right. But she obviously hadn't remembered it all and it did something horrible and wonderful inside her chest to hear his memories of the incident. The man in front of her turned his face into hers and breathed a single word in exhale.

"Tifa…"

For some reason it made her smile. And it made her want to cry. Holding his hands in hers, she moved her arms behind her so that his arms were wrapped around her.

"It's all right. It's all right, Cloud." His arms tightened around her and it freed her hands so she could reach up and hug him close. "I saw how you fought for my brother and sister. You're still my hero." She whispered it soft against his ear and then turned her face to press a kiss to his cheek. Her lips lingered there despite her intentions and he turned his head, just a little. Bringing them closer and resting that way. And then he exhaled and his body relaxed into her arms. His head fell to her shoulder. But his arms stayed around her and for a very long time, Tifa just held him that way and felt him breathing, slow and steady, against her. Her little sister's:

"Tifa?" finally had her stirring and she softly said:

"Aerith? Help me move him back onto the bed, will you, please?"

Aerith stepped forward immediately and between the two of them they got Cloud back in bed and comfortable. Aerith looked at her friend's face but Tifa just shook her head. Not yet. She had to think about everything, really take it in, first. Denzel and Marlene looked worried and confused so she kissed them both on the top of their heads and gave them smiles.

"It's all right. I'm fine and Cloud should be fine now too. Go get ready for bed. You can sleep in here with Aerith tonight, all right?"

They nodded, still watching her and she smiled again and let herself out of the room to head back down to the bar. But for the rest of the night her mind wasn't entirely on what she was doing.


	20. Chapter 20: Waking Up

Chapter 20: Waking Up

Tifa woke even earlier than usual. She'd kept the bar open late last night and just as she'd been in the process of serving last rounds and closing it down, Barrett and Leon had come back in. They'd looked exhausted but alive and fairly unbruised so she'd sent them to the kitchen for the plates of food she'd left in the ice box for them and then sent them straight up to the kids' room to sleep. Now Tifa carefully untangled herself from the small pile she, Marlene, Denzel, and Aerith had all had to make to fit onto one of the kid's mattresses, careful not to wake anyone. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night and what she had gotten had been restless. She wanted some time to herself before she had to face the day and everyone else and so she slipped out of the room on silent bare feet and padded to the bathroom to get dressed before ghosting downstairs. The bar was freezing this early in the morning and it was even darker outside the windows than usual but it was quiet and private and there was a certain comfort in knowing that everyone she cared about was upstairs, safe and sleeping warm.

She went into the kitchen and stared out the window at nothing for a long time. Then, with an exhale to let things go, she leaned down and started rummaging through the cabinets to find food. It was going to be pancakes today. It was all she had left. Which meant a trip to the market today or else it would be pancakes for dinner too and while Denzel wouldn't mind living off pancakes for the rest of his life, Tifa would have felt guilty. She was just in the process of putting the mix together when she heard the kitchen door squeak. No sound of steps afterward meant Aerith and Tifa turned with a soft smile, ready to face her friend and those too insightful questions.

Except it wasn't Aerith.

It was Cloud.

And his blue eyes were aware and focused on her.

Tifa froze, cup of flour in her hand. And then Cloud looked down and his blond hair fell over his forehead to hide his eyes. One of his hands rose to rub at the back of his neck.

"I couldn't sleep anymore," he stated softly and Tifa felt her shoulders relaxing and a smile touching the edges of her lips.

"I think you've done enough sleeping for the next month or so" she agreed, turning back to what she was doing. She felt Cloud hesitate and she didn't interrupt. Letting him decide what was next. After a long moment, he moved over to the counter she was working at.

"Milk" she told him, pointing to the carton next to him and he handed it to her so she could pour it into the mix. Hating the sudden awkwardness, Tifa put him to work, including him in helping her make the pancake batter. Soon the only awkwardness was the way he attempted to stir the batter – even worse than Denzel – as Tifa set the plates out. Eyes narrowed in concentration on the batter he was attempting to more beat into submission than stir, Cloud finally asked quietly:

"How did I get here?"

Tifa paused in sorting the plates on to different trays and looked at him. He was trying to mash one of the lumps in the batter against the side of the bowl to make it mix in with the rest. Trying not to smile she reached out and took the bowl and spoon away from him and started whipping the batter properly.

"You don't remember?"

He shook his head, brows low over his eyes as he watched her.

"Bits." He shifted so his back was against the counter and folded his arms loosely across his chest. "I remember – a train station. Cold." His eyes lifted to hers. "You. I remember – a lot of you."

It was Tifa's turn to concentrate on the batter she was stirring.

"Do you remember talking to me?"

His pause was long.

"A – little…" he finally admitted and Tifa wondered which 'little' he remembered. And if she really wanted to know. She nodded and handed the bowl back to him while she leaned over to sort through the cupboard to find the large frying pan.

"I found you in an alley. Train station in Sector Seven. I brought you home. Marlene and Denzel seem to have decided to adopt you."

"The kids" his voice sounded relaxed at that and she turned her head to give him a smile, taking the bowl back to start spooning batter onto the pan. "That's the brother and sister you talked about."

She nodded.

"Marlene was born just before my mother died." Funny – Tifa never mentioned her mother's death and yet she thought Cloud had probably already known. "Denzel is adopted."

Cloud's blue concentrated eyes found hers.

"Street rat?" he asked and she nodded. Because he said it with a familiar tone and she remembered him talking about sitting in the alley. And being 'adopted'.

"Lucky kid" he told her and she smiled and went back to flipping pancakes.

"We were the lucky ones. He makes our lives better by being here."

"Tifa" his voice was soft. "How… how much did I tell you?"

She pressed her lips together and slid the pancakes onto the nearby plate before starting the process again.

"You're the little boy that used to hang around the edges of our play group when I was a kid here. You used to sit outside and listen to me practice the piano." She paused, debating how much to say. "You remember finding our ball for me when I lost it."

He exhaled and stood silently next to her, chin tucked against his chest. His bare chest, she noticed, having grown so used to seeing him that way that it hadn't, until now, occurred to her that that was unusual. Or that he must be cold.

"I'm not," he told her, voice low and her eyes jerked from his chest to meet his eyes. One edge of his mouth turned upward. "Cold." At her look he took her hand in his and laid it against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat and the warmth of his skin. "They made it so we don't feel the cold the way real people do."

"SOLDIER?" she asked, looking up at him, fingers spread against the wonderful heat of him. His brief smile was sad.

"Probably them too." His eyes didn't leave hers as he added: "You're going to burn those."

"oh!" it took her a moment to realize what he was talking about and then she was spinning back to the pancakes and scooping them off the pan. Wincing and thinking she'd give those to Barrett, who liked his 'crisp'. Behind her she heard the familiar sound of Cloud coughing a laugh.

"Shouldn't you be calling Yuffie or something?" she asked with mock exasperation and he exhaled another chuckle.

"I lost my cell phone."

Tifa winced again as she poured more batter.

"I broke mine yesterday." Something about landing on it with another body on top of hers at just the right angle. She'd meant to borrow Barrett's – but he'd been gone and then frankly she'd forgotten by the time he was back.

"We'll hijack Barrett's when he wakes up."

It was quiet for a moment and then he stated:

"I thought you were making a lot of pancakes."

The look she gave him over her shoulder was a mix of dry humor, absolute adoration for how clueless he was, and a 'you can't imagine' look.

"I've got everyone in my room and then four more in the kids' room. Plus my father."

"You really do adopt people."

It made her smile and she shuffled more pancakes onto the plate and repeated the routine again.

"You have no idea."

"Was that – Aerith? From the convention?"

Tifa nodded.

"She came over to help me with everyone."

It was silent again for another long pause. His voice was hesitant.

"Tifa? Am I an - 'everyone'?"

This time Tifa took the pan off the burner when she turned to face him. And found him standing much closer than he'd been the last time she'd looked. Her eyes found and lost themselves in the ocean blue of his and in that blue she saw –

"Do you want to be an 'everyone'?" she asked, reaching up to move the pale gold of his bangs out of his eyes. His eyes searched hers.

"Does 'everyone' get to stay here?" and it was the little boy that looked out at her as he asked it.

"As long as they want to."

His hands found the counter on either side of her and he watched her eyes closely.

"I think I'd like to be one of your 'everyones' then. If you'll let me."

She couldn't help the soft smile she gave him.

"I think that would work, Cloud."

His own lips turned up in answer to hers.

"Good."

"Tifa?"

Tifa's eyes broke away from Cloud's to look over his shoulder and saw Leon standing in the doorway. In response, she laid her hands against Cloud's chest and pushed lightly.

"Go sit down" she told Cloud and then turned her attention on Leon. "Come over and take this tray up to Cid. I don't think he should have to leave Shera's side if he doesn't have to. I've put the last of the broth on it for Shera too but I want her to have something with protein in it soon so I'll go food shopping and pick up some meat today." Practiced she slid a plate in front of Cloud as he did as she'd asked and handed Leon the tray with the other hand. "I'm going to go wake up Aerith and the kids. They've skipped enough school. Leon, if you get back down here before I do, help yourself to the pancakes. Coffee's in the pot."

Leon followed her out the kitchen door and reached out with his free hand to catch her arm as she started up the stairs. Turning to face him, having hoped to avoid this, she was surprised to see his face was more concerned than angry.

"Is he bothering you?" he asked seriously, brows lowering and threatening to pull his freshly stitched wound. Tifa shook her head. Leon nodded but didn't look entirely convinced. "You'll tell me if he does?"

Tifa gave him a weak smile.

"I will," she agreed and he nodded before letting her go. She went up the steps before him and ducked into her bedroom. 'Bothering'… it wasn't the word she would chose for Cloud and there were a lot of words she'd chose.

After she woke up Aerith and the protesting kids, she slipped into her father's room where he was still sleeping and went through the trunk of clothes in the corner. They were clothes he'd worn back when he'd been – better. Once upon a time, her father had been a big man. She made a pile of clothes that satisfied her and then put everything else away. She'd washed Cloud's shirt but there was no way he could wear it. Luckily, Shinra trooper pants were common on just about everyone in Midgar, being cheap and easily available. The shirt however would tie everything together far too well and Tifa thought having a Shinra trooper in the house with a party bent on destroying Shinra probably wasn't something that should be advertised.

She took the pile she'd chosen back to her bedroom to find it empty. Apparently someone had realized Cloud wasn't in the bed. It made her smile to herself and she made the beds before setting the clothes on hers. Now that they realized their 'patient' was up and around, she couldn't imagine how she was going to convince Denzel and Marlene to leave long enough to go to school.


	21. Chapter 21: Fitting In

_you know, what the hey! I already had them written, let's do two more just because!_

Chapter 21: Fitting In

Everyone but Cid and Shera were in the kitchen when Tifa went back to it and it was a study in attitudes to walk in on everyone. Cloud, face impassive, was still sitting at the table where she'd left him but the plate in front of him was empty. He had a mug of coffee. Leon was standing with his back against the counter, empty plate next to him and a mug of coffee in his hands as well as he watched Cloud with narrow, speculative eyes. Barrett was sitting in the chair directly across the table from Cloud, eating his pancakes with vicious stabbing gestures and shooting Cloud glares from time to time. Marlene and Denzel took up the seats on either side, filling in the middle parts of the table and they were happily chattering as they ate, eyes bright for this early in the morning. Aerith stood at the stove, making more pancakes with the mix Tifa had left in the bowl and happily contributing to the children's conversation.

The small kitchen seemed even smaller filled so full.

"Teef" Aerith flashed her a bright smile. "I saved you a plate. I know you don't eat until your stomach wakes up but if you eat now, they'll still be hot."

Tifa walked over, sliding past the crowd to get her plate and under her breath, Aerith murmured to her:

"Quite a house you've got."

The laugh bubbled up in Tifa and she stifled it by taking a bite of pancake as she stood up at the sink. Cloud stood up.

"I'm done. Take my seat."

Tifa gave him a smile as he brought his plate over to the sink.

"Here" she handed him the shirt and socks she'd brought down. "You make me cold."

He grunted his laugh and took the clothes.

"In that case." He surprised her by ruffling Denzel's hair on the way past and Denzel surprised her by beaming up at the blond man. It made Tifa suspicious of what kinds of pacts they must have made while she wasn't around to supervise. Knowing Denzel – it had something to do with the sword. Tifa slid into the abandoned seat and ate her food, giving Denzel an arch look that he replied to with an innocent look to which she gave him a 'not buying it' look which got a 'who me?' look in response. Who said no one sat down and carried on conversation at the table anymore?

The kids put themselves together and went out to door to school and Leon helped Aerith wash the dishes. Barrett grumbled about having to go out to make a delivery but promised Tifa that he'd be back long before tonight to help her keep an eye on 'that boy'. Tifa surrendered her dishes to Aerith and took another tray upstairs to her father. He was nauseated today however and not interested in food. Tifa gave him his medicine with a sinking heart and helped him move so he was comfortable. Nausea usually meant he was about to have a bad spell and each time he did, he always came out of it weaker than he'd gone in. He was asleep again before she'd finished tucking him in and she hovered over him for a little while. Just to watch him breath. Then she collected Cid and Shera's dishes on the way back down the stairs. Cloud was sitting on one of the stools at the bar in the otherwise empty room, the shirt a bit loose on him, feet covered in thick socks now. He was staring into space blankly, no expression on his face, but when she moved into the room, his eyes flickered and he raised his head with an inhale, focusing on her. He looked tired and Tifa moved over to him, setting the tray down on the bar. Gentle she brushed a hand over his hair without thinking about it.

"Why don't you go back to bed?" she suggested.

He shook his head before turning it into her palm. She'd been about to withdraw her hand but his action made her smile and she scratched her fingers gently over his scalp. He sighed. His hair was soft and light against her fingers. Just a bit damp. He'd taken a shower at some point this morning.

"You're going shopping. I'm coming."

"You don't have to" she told him, moving her gently scratching fingers to the back of his head and in response he leaned his head forward, eyes shutting. It made her smile. Denzel did the same thing. She listened to his breathing deepen.

"I'm still coming," he murmured.

"Go to sleep. You can come next time."

He shook his head absently.

"You need someone to carry everything. Triple what you're used to buying. I'm coming too."

"I'll bring someone else."

He didn't lift his head or open his eyes and his voice didn't change its soft tone but there was something intractable about it.

"I'm coming."

"Stubborn." She ruffled his hair and picked up the tray again. "Go lay down in one of the booths. I'll wake you up before you go."

"Yes" he agreed. Apparently trusting her to not slip out on him while he was napping. Tifa shook her head at him and carried the tray into the kitchen. Aerith was the only one in it.

"Leon's gone out. But he left this" she held up a decent looking amount of gil. When Tifa started to open her mouth, Aerith inserted: "He said it was only fair since they were eating your food and I thanked him for you and took it."

Tifa took the money and counted it. She could buy an awful lot with this, especially if she was careful and hunted for the bargains. In altruism and nobility she shouldn't accept it though. In practicality however, she was feeding a lot of people and her budget was already tight just feeding the ones she'd planed for. Her hand closed around the money and she slipped it into her pocket. At least now she could buy something she knew was meat for Shera and not just something she hoped was. Aerith sat down at the table and pointed to the kitchen door.

"So what are you going to do with Cute, Blond and Quiet?"

Tifa put the last of the dishes in the sink and started washing them. Cleaning helped her put things in order in her mind too.

"I don't know," she admitted. "He hasn't told me how he got poisoned in the first place or if he has to report back or – " Come to think of it, there were a lot of really important questions Cloud hadn't answered. Though – granted – she hadn't thought to ask them either.

"So you're going to keep him, right?" Aerith asked simply and Tifa shot her friend a look over her shoulder.

"Yes. I told him he could stay as long as he liked. I should change this place from a bar to an inn at the rate I'm going."

Aerith just grinned.

"I know you're enjoying this," she stated. "But don't worry. I won't tell."

Tifa started to open her mouth to retort and then stopped. Turned around drying her hands off on a towel.

"You know - ? I am. Its dangerous and draining and stressful and I feel like I'm walking through a mine field sometimes but – I feel useful, Aerith. I mean, useful outside of just my family. I feel like I'm really doing something." She thought about it for a minute. "I shouldn't – but I'm enjoying that."

Aerith smiled softly and nodded.

"I know. It's being a part of something bigger. Even when its scary – you still know you're important."

Tifa shook her head.

"We're crazy, you know. Anyone sensible would be counting the seconds until their lives went back to normal."

"We have more fun," Aerith answered blithely and Tifa chuckled as she put the towel back on its rack.

"You going to stay here?"

"Wouldn't be anywhere else. When I was coming over I thought something might be up so I told my mom that I'd be gone for a while."

Not unusual for them. Aerith was a regular member of the Lockhart household. Tifa nodded.

"I'm taking Cloud food shopping. Can you keep an eye on dad for me? He's – not so good today and I think he'll sleep the day through."

Aerith's face softened and she nodded. Her healing magic didn't work on sickness. Tifa dropped a kiss on the top of her head as she went past.

Cloud was asleep on a booth bench in the bar area, curled on his side with his arms folded in front of his chest. It looked – defensive to Tifa. And it made her wonder why, even in his sleep – especially in his sleep - he was instinctively protecting himself.

"Cloud" she knew better than to reach down and try to wake him up when he was tense in his sleep. Instead she bumped the sole of his foot. He woke up with a silent inhale that jerked into him and his eyes, aqua, flew open. For a minute they were blank. And then he blinked. Sat up with a quiet sound and looked at her.

Tifa thought – he was going to break her heart one of these days…

"Come on, sleepy head" she reached out and ruffled his shaggy hair. "If we get this done now, we can both get a nap before the kids get out of school."

"You hid my boots," he told her and she smiled.

"When you first came," she acknowledged. "I'll go get them."

The trip up the stairs was quick and when she came back down he was sitting on the edge of the bench, arms across his knees while he waited. She handed him his boots and then the jacket she'd dug out of her father's room.

"Where's the rest of my stuff?" he asked as he pulled on his boots and expertly laced them. She knew he wasn't asking about the sword. Shinra trooper uniform came with leather belts and straps, pads and protectors. She handed him the gloves.

"It's all stashed in a box in my closet. It's – really obvious."

He nodded, looking down at the gloves. Tifa sat down on the edge of the bench and nudged him with her hip until he made room for her.

"Do you have to keep it?" she asked. "Are they really going to come looking for you if you don't report in?"

Cloud's eyes lifted and they went from confused to wry touched with bitter. He shook his head.

"I don't report in, Tifa. I'm not Shinra anymore." He looked down at the gloves he still hadn't put on. "Not for a while now."

Tifa looked down at the worn brown gloves as well. Rested her shoulder against his because he seemed – so alone in that moment.

"You just dress up like them for fun?"

His eyes flickered to her and the edges of his lips reluctantly curved upward. Again he shook his head and his light hair swayed with the movement.

"No. Not for fun."

Tifa reached out and tapped the back of his hand.

"You're being mysterious on purpose, aren't you?" she asked, teasing and gentle at the same time and he turned his face to her, lines around his blue eyes relaxing.

"Not on purpose."

She gave him a light nudge.

"Come on. We've got a nap waiting if we're quick enough." She slid out of the booth and walked over to push on her boots and take her jacket off the hook next to the door. Cloud followed her, pulling on her father's jacket and shoving the gloves into its pocket. Now that he was wearing shoes, he made sound when he walked. Tifa paused at the door and looked back at him. Needing to know and yet terrified to ask. Cloud must have seen it in her eyes because he waited.

"Cloud?… Have you seen Leon since the convention before you came here?"

His eyes met hers and they were expressionless as he answered.

"No."

For some reason she wasn't reassured but she nodded all the same and let them out the door, carefully locking it behind them.

The cold hit her like a physical blow and she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket and dipped her chin against it. Next to her, Cloud didn't react with anything more than a deep inhale. She shot him an unfriendly look for having extra body heat and watched the edges of his lips twitch. Shaking her head, she broke into an unwilling smile of her own.

"Come on" she told him. "I'm going to buy extra for you to carry just for that."


	22. Chapter 22: Warmth

Chapter 22: Warmth

By the time they got back from the market, Tifa couldn't feel her nose, ears, or lips and the tips of her fingers, even in gloves and jacket pockets felt about as numb as her toes. She fumbled with the keys when she tried to fit them in the lock and Cloud's hand reached out and took them from her to unlock the door. She felt a bit justified that he had put on the gloves about halfway through their shopping. In return she leaned down and picked up some of the bags he'd had to set down to unlock the door. Together they both stumbled into the bar and Tifa leaned against the door while Cloud consciously locked it again. She gave him a smile, or at least she hoped that was what her lips were doing.

"You look cold," she told him smugly and he snorted, reaching out to touch the tip of her unfeeling nose.

"Blue lips."

She gave him a frown – or what she hoped was a frown given that she couldn't feel the 'blue lips' he referred to and pushed away from the door.

"You're supposed to tell me I'm 'glowing'. Any time a woman doesn't look her best she's 'glowing'."

"Glowing?" he repeated as he followed her into the kitchen. Aerith raised a hand and waved vaguely at them, using some of Marlene's colored pencils (a gift from Aerith last year) as she sketched away madly at something on her paper. Tifa gave her a greeting she knew her friend, in her artist trance, didn't hear and then started to unload the bags and put things away. Cloud set all of his down on the counter and stopped to watch over Aerith's shoulder for a moment as she worked. The picture of the two of them made Tifa wish she had her camera handy. She went back to work with a smile. Soon Cloud joined her but since he didn't know where anything went he just settled for unloading the bags while Tifa put everything away. Between the two of them they had things put away in record time and Tifa filled a pot with milk and set it on the stove to heat. The feeling was starting to come back to her fingers if not her toes and it felt like a thousand little pins. Her heating bill was going to kill her when it came due this month but she found it a worthy sacrifice to be able to come in to a warm building.

"Anyone else here?" she asked and Aerith gestured vaguely with a pencil.

"Cid and Shera" Tifa hazarded.

Another pencil motion, more slashing this time and Tifa recognized the 'trying to be patient but being pushed' motion for what it was.

"Go wait in the bedroom" she whispered to Cloud who looked curious.

"She's about five seconds away from exploding if we bother her again," Tifa hissed at him and Aerith stated a calm:

"Three."

"Go!" Tifa hissed it with accompanying hand motions and Cloud, looking more amused than threatened the way he would if he knew what was good for him, let himself out of the room. He was wise enough to make sure the door shut silently behind him at least. Moving quietly, Tifa filled four mugs with chocolate powder and the heated milk, leaving Aerith's where it wouldn't threaten the paper if it spilled but where her friend could reach it. Then she carried the others out the door and up the stairs. One she left with Cid after checking on him and Shera. The other two she kept as she checked on her father and then let herself into her bedroom. Cloud was sitting on the mattress on the floor with his back against the bed, arm across a raised knee. The jacket, boots and gloves were all gone. Tifa settled down next to him, unrepentantly scooting in close for his body heat and handed him one of the mugs. His face changed when he saw what it was, lighting up like a little boy's.

While he appreciatively inhaled it, Tifa set hers down to shrug out of her jacket and kick off her boots. The gloves stayed on though because her hands always got cold first. Then she pulled down a blanket to toss over both of their legs and picked up her hot cocoa.

"Share" she told Cloud and he gave her a puzzled look. She nudged against his arm. "Body heat. Share it."

She was freezing and it wasn't the time to feel awkward. Or flirtatious. This was about survival!

Cloud laughed in a burst and then lifted his arm so that she could scoot under it and tuck in against his side. Tifa slipped her legs over the top of his nearest and tucked her toes under his other leg, careful not to spill a drop of her drink as she huddled over it as if it was the last ember to a dying fire. The steam from it made her lips tingle pleasantly.

"I'd hate to see you living in the mountains" Cloud commented and Tifa muttered her:

"I'd hate it too."

Which made him laugh again and he cut it off by taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

There wasn't much talking after that. Just the slow warmth seeping back into both of them, inside and out, and the occasional appreciative sigh. Tifa wiggled her toes under the warmth of his leg and was pleased to find she could feel them all. Relaxing she rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. It was really too familiar a move but – well, she'd slept with him already – even if he didn't remember it and her siblings had been in bed with them and everyone had been fully clothed. And she'd fallen asleep against him in the convention center too – even though that had been when she'd thought she was never going to see him past her vacation there…

Still, there was no denying the fact that Cloud was deliciously warm and the feel of his chest rising and falling in slow rhythm against her was comforting. **He** was comforting, she decided. Knowing that was just the cold talking but letting it go anyway.

"You're better than a hot water bottle," she told him and he exhaled a quiet laugh and tucked her a little bit closer against his side.

"Glad I can be useful."

"Mm" she turned her face toward him a little and nodded, eyes still closed. Starting to feel wonderfully drowsy. Vaguely she was aware of him taking the now empty cup out of her hands. His cheek lowered to rest against the top of her head.

"Fight you for the real bed" she murmured and his chuckle was a whisper.

"In a minute."

The minute disappeared into much longer as Tifa fell asleep.

It was quite a bit later when she woke up again and for a very long time she just drifted. Not quite awake, no longer asleep. She was warm and she was comfortable and she was relaxed. It felt nice. Slow, reluctant, she did wake up, becoming aware of where she was and what was going on.

Cloud was still propped upright against the side of the bed and she'd turned in her sleep so her head was resting against his chest and she had an arm tossed across his chest as well, gloved fingers tangled loosely in the fabric of his shirt. From the slow rise and fall of his breathing, he was still asleep so she indulged for a minute longer instead of moving away. He smelled a little like wood and stored clothes but mostly like himself, wind and clean and – and the faintest hint of lightening now that she knew what it was. The blanket had apparently been pulled up to her shoulders and awkwardly tucked in because when she finally opened her eyes, it was all she saw. Under it, his arm was around her side and waist, keeping her securely against him while they slept. His silent, slow exhales brushed against the hair at the side of her face. For a minute longer, Tifa ignored the fact that the situation was much too intimate for someone she'd only just met. Again.

What was it about Cloud that stripped away her natural reservations and left her feeling - it was because he made her feel safe, she realized. Safe. And when she felt safe, who she really was came out. And that included the snuggler in her.

So – how long did she have? How long until Cloud left – everyone left? – and her life went back to normal? She didn't think – she didn't think she wanted to go back to the way things had been. But she didn't really think she had much of a choice. Her fingers tightened a little on Cloud's shirt and a moment later, unconsciously, his fingers tightened on her waist.

She was being silly to want more. She had two kids to take care of and a father. A business to run. Sensible things she should be concentrating on. But in her heart – her heart kept crying 'is that all?'. Was that all there would ever be for her until she woke up one day with white hair and an empty bar and realized…

It terrified her in a deep down, quiet way she ignored most of the time. Sitting here in Cloud's arms with a house full of dissidents – Aerith had been right. Tifa felt as if she was _– more_. As if her life was – more. And she didn't really want that to end.

Cloud's fingers on her tightened in a gentle squeeze.

"Worrying?" his voice was a low rumble so quiet she almost didn't hear it. But she did and her head jerked up so she could look at him with wide eyes.

One of his eyelids lifted slightly to reveal azure blue but other than that he didn't move.

"How long have you been awake?" she hissed at him, whispering even though it didn't make sense. The edges of his lips shifted and he barely shook his head, more a vague motion that only touched his chin and made his hair move slightly.

"Not long."

"You should have said something" it was easier to protest than to realize how embarrassing it was to realize he'd been awake – and known she was awake – and realized she wasn't leaving his embrace like she should have.

"You didn't," he pointed out softly and then, when he felt her jerk, getting ready to pull back, his arm tightened around her to keep her close. "Besides" he added: "Its warm."

It made her pause, wondering if he was teasing her, and when she raised her head again to look at him, there was a soft, quiet smile barely there on his lips. Despite herself, she smiled back.

"True" she agreed in a soft voice. Both of his eyes, now open, found hers and Tifa forgot to breath for a moment, so filled with tropic blue that it was impossible to find room for anything else. Without thinking about it – she did that too much around Cloud the lone brain cell still in use warned her – she reached up and touched his cheek.

"You have the most beautiful eyes," she whispered. Those eyes changed as she said it, somehow went an even more intense blue, as if the entire ocean and sky were being pulled down into concentrated form. And they were closer than they'd been. Tifa felt her breath go shallow and fluttery in that blue.

"Cloud?" it came out in a whisper and her fingers tightened on him where they rested. She thought she might be drowning in that blue and what little was left of her common sense was screaming what a bad idea that was. But she didn't want to stop. Maybe not ever, a stifled part of her whispered. She was in sooo much trouble, a part of her added as the blue came so close that it filled all of her vision and even when her eyelids started to flutter closed – it was still all she could see.

"Hey! I thought this was an emergency!"

The voice had Tifa jumping and jerking toward the sound. To see a furious looking –

"Yuffie?!?"


	23. Chapter 23: Siblings

_oh, you guys are awesome!_ _I thought my story hadn't updated or something until the reviews started coming in. Peeka-chan I adore you! Yum - details in your reviews they make me happy. Cloti22 you review for every chapter and I love following you through them because its like hearing it all again for the first time. And Horky I am so flattered and delighted you're following my story. Yeah, Yuffie's timing's terrible but don't worry, I share the terrible timing out between a lot of the other characters ;)_

_and for everybody - just so you know - I update every single Sunday night. Three chapters on average. Will not fail short of devious sickness. I always write a couple chapters ahead so that I make sure if something comes up I can still update. Promise._ _I'm on the waiting end of enough stories myself that I know how it feels :D_

Chapter 23: Siblings

The younger girl stamped her foot.

"You lost your cell phone again, didn't you, Cloud? I've been freaking out – massively! I mean, sure you disappear all the time but usually you answer your phone. And then I heard about the Mako reactor exploding and I just knew -!"

"Yuffie" his voice was soft but it interrupted her as completely as if he'd spoken louder. She went silent immediately but it didn't look like the kind of thing that would last long. Cloud untangled himself from where he was sitting with Tifa and stood up to walk over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm okay. See?"

She sniffed. And then hit him hard in the chest. And then threw her arms around him in a hug. He enclosed her in his arms tightly and let her bubble out all her accusations, most of them half-finished. Tifa sat on the mattress. And it occurred to her to wonder how the girl had gotten into the house and all the way up here without anyone coming with her. Maybe Aerith had remembered her from the convention but it wasn't like her friend not to give her a warning so she thought it wasn't Aerith.

"I thought they'd gotten you again" Yuffie's voice was muffled against Cloud's chest. Accusing and – terrified? "I thought they'd stuck you in another –"

"Yuffie" Cloud interrupted again and Tifa suddenly wondered if she was the reason he was stopping his sister. 'They' had 'gotten him'? Again? The defensive way he slept flickered in her memory.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "Nothing happened. I lost my phone."

Yuffie's face, just a little puffy, peered around him suddenly and her eyes focused on Tifa in accusation. But it wasn't hard accusation.

"**You** didn't answer your phone either."

"I broke mine" Tifa realized, as she said it, how blatant that sounded when put next to Cloud's lost phone. Yuffie sniffed.

"It's like no one can keep a phone," she muttered before taking Cloud's face in her small hands. He patiently let her tip it one way and then the other. She started to scowl.

"Your eyes are glowing again. You're stuffed with mako again, aren't you? Why do you let them do that to you?"

Cloud pulled back at that and his face shut down.

"I didn't _let _anyone." His quiet voice was flat. "I got caught in an explosion."

Yuffie's eyes went wide.

"You **were** at the reactor… I knew it! Cloud, you're not supposed to do that kind of thing without me!"

Tifa had been debating picking up the mugs and leaving so the siblings could have their privacy. Instead she found herself sitting very still and hoping they wouldn't remember she was in the room. Cloud didn't answer his sister's accusation. Just looked at her with an expressionless face. She stomped her foot again and was just opening her mouth to say something else when the door flew open and two men and a little boy burst into the room. Tifa gave Barrett, Leon, and Denzel a mild nod of welcome.

"Holy-!" Barrett jumped back at the sight of Yuffie and even Leon's head jerked back in surprise. Tipping Tifa off to the fact the girl obviously hadn't waltzed in the front door. Denzel looked curiously at her and then moved over to sit down next to Tifa. Protective – and it made Tifa smile as she wrapped an arm around him and ruined the effect. He snuggled in against her side anyway, despite that and his age. Claiming her as much as she was claiming him.

"You could have knocked," Leon stated as he looked at Yuffie. She drew herself up to her full very small stature.

"I don't knock," she informed him. "I had to see what was really going on first."

"You were expecting her?" Tifa asked Leon and he shrugged a shoulder.

"Suspected it. She emailed me. Said she'd tried calling you but couldn't get through. She emailed everyone we exchanged emails with from the convention to see if anyone had kept in touch with you and knew where to find you."

When Tifa looked at him, he gave her a return look.

"He's her brother. I figured if you were letting him" an impatient thumb jerk at Cloud, "know where you lived, you'd let her know too."

"Good thing too" Yuffie inserted. "Because no one seems to know how to borrow a cell phone around here."

"I was going to," Tifa protested. "From Barrett when he got home tonight."

The mentioned man folded his arms across his chest.

"Does this mean Blondie's going home?"

The thought, belated, hadn't even occurred to Tifa until it was mentioned and she felt her heart tighten painfully in her chest. She ducked her head, refusing to look at Cloud. Not wanting anyone to see what was probably in her eyes but especially not him. She didn't even know why she was surprised. Hadn't she just been thinking that he would leave soon?

"I'm not done here." Cloud's voice filled the sudden silence and Tifa did look up at him in surprise then. His eyes met hers. And then Yuffie was grabbing his arm and bouncing, looking ecstatic.

"We're staying?! If you're not done that means I can help this time, right?"

Cloud's eyes turned to focus on – and narrow at – his little sister and Tifa started breathing again. Against her side, she felt Denzel relax a little as well and it surprised her.

"Did he promise to teach you how to use his sword?" she murmured at him in suspicion.

"No" Denzel could fake indignation pretty well. Tifa gave him a look.

"_A_ sword?"

"Maybe" he muttered back looking at her from under his bangs.

"So can I?" Yuffie was suddenly leaning down in front of Tifa, face bright and smile huge. Tifa blinked at her. "Stay here with you?" Yuffie supplied cheerfully. Silent, Tifa started to laugh.

"Why not?" she asked, raising a hand helplessly. "You can't possibly take up that much more room."

"Super!" Yuffie gave her an awkward but enthusiastic hug and then went bounding out of the room. "I'll go get my stuff!" Cloud exhaled a sound and followed her. Barrett glared down at Tifa, full disapproval on his face.

"My house, Barrett" she reminded him, raising a warning index finger. He scowled.

"Don't mean I gotta like it, girl" he told her and she gave him a look that was all but an apologetic shrug itself. When Barrett left, Leon unfolded from the doorway he'd been leaning against and walked over to go down on his heels in front of her.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked softly and she exhaled and gave him a helpless smile.

"Yeah. I know it doesn't make any sense but I'm starting to like being a halfway house."

He thought it over and then his serious eyes met hers.

"How much do you want to know about what we're doing?"

It was a serious question with very serious repercussions and Tifa thought it over carefully. Fully aware of the little life tucked in against her side and listening with wide eyes. She pressed her lips together and finally nodded. Looked up to meet Leon's eyes.

"All of it" she answered. Ignorance was no excuse in Shinra's opinion as far as Tifa could tell and – "I want to be a part of what you're doing. I can't offer much – but you'll be safe here and a bar run by a woman and two kids isn't exactly a threatening place to anyone in power. I'll help where I can. But I want to know everything so I can protect my family."

He nodded. And then held out his hand with one of his shy smiles. Tifa took it in surprise and they shook.

"Welcome to the group" he told her.

"Us too?" Marlene apparently didn't catch the concept that listening at the door only worked if no one realized you were there. But Denzel had sat up straight and Tifa knew he was thinking the same question. Even if they weren't exactly sure what they were asking to join. Leon met her eyes and she exhaled.

"You too. Both of you" she answered. "But you're junior members. That means your job is to stay here and keep track of where everyone is and where they're going. You don't go out and do anything on your own until you're cleared by me and Leon." Which meant, as far as Tifa was concerned, no doing anything at all. But they'd accept the limitations easier if they thought there might be limitations on the limitations. "Otherwise – no go. You're only members if you can follow orders."

It was dangerous. But Shinra wouldn't care if little kids were a part of things or not, they'd treat them the same. And – perhaps even more – this was Denzel and Marlene's future they were all fighting for. In a way, it was more her siblings right to be a part of it than her own.

Leon was watching her and so were Denzel and Marlene, both of them looking very serious and intent as they listened to her words. Wanting something to fight for too. Tifa understood the feeling.

"Okay" Denzel nodded and Marlene nodded right after him, just as fierce.

"Right" she agreed and Tifa held out her hand so that they could lay theirs over it in their family tradition of marking a promise.

"The second you break those rules, you're out" Tifa warned and they both nodded again.

Maybe she was letting them do this too soon. Maybe they were too young. Marlene was only twelve, Denzel had just celebrated when they'd decided his birthday was, to be fourteen. She knew she'd regret this, that it would come back to haunt her. And yet she also knew she couldn't shelter them from it either. The world outside had a way of finding its way in.


	24. Chapter 24: Bar Flies

Chapter 24: Bar Flies

Nothing drastic changed immediately and yet a thousand little things seemed to change at the same time. Leon still went out at odd hours but now Tifa heard what he came back with. News, rumors, gossip… layouts, explosives, stolen or bought security codes… Barrett stayed as well. He and Leon were busy building something in the basement – Tifa was glad it was a hidden room and not a bomb. Barrett also stayed, Tifa suspected, because of Cloud. Cid remained at the bar but as Shera slowly got better started to leave her side to wander, helping out where he could. Soon Tifa's boiler in the basement was running better than it had the day it had been put there and the dozen or so little appliances around the house were either fixed or in pieces waiting to be fixed. Which made things interesting when Tifa needed one of them and came across it in the kitchen in a hundred or so little pieces. Cid had a tendency to forget to ask before he went to work. Shera got better a little bit at a time and Tifa was surprised to find that Cid avoided her whenever she was conscious. Tifa's father… didn't get better. But he didn't get worse either. Waking up enough to take broth or soup, dipping back into sleep, coming awake again briefly to complain or simply stare at the wall, tears leaking silently from his eyes. The biggest surprise of all for Tifa was the day she found Shera had staggered her way into the room and was sitting in a chair next to her father holding his hand while he slept. She gave Tifa an apologetic look.

"He was making noise and – you were busy downstairs with dinner and – I feel so useless just lying there in bed all day long. He thinks – I think he thinks I'm – "

"My mother" Tifa supplied. Not that she thought Shera and her mother looked that alike, though, granted, her memories of her own mother were blurred and vague. Hints more than solid pictures in her mind. But Shera had brown hair and the last time Aerith, with her brown hair, had come in, her father had called her by his dead wife's name. Shera nodded, looking embarrassed.

"Is that okay?" she asked and Tifa had to smile softly even though it put a bolt of pain through her heart. She nodded.

"It's okay. If it makes him feel better, it's okay."

Shera's shoulders relaxed and she smiled, pushing her glasses back up on her nose. Tifa hadn't even known that Shera wore glasses until Leon had brought some back for her.

"If he wakes up, get him to eat" Tifa set the tray she'd brought in down on the nightstand and then transferred what she'd been meaning to bring into the other room for Shera to that tray as well. "And don't let him wear you out. When you start to get tired its okay to leave him and go back to bed."

Shera nodded, looking vaguely embarrassed at the attention.

"Thanks, Tifa."

Tifa gave her a smile and started for the door. Before she opened it though she turned back around.

"Shera – " she asked. "Did you – see the SOLDIER that did that to you?"

Shera shook her head with a frown.

"No. He hit me from behind. I don't even remember that really well."

Tifa nodded and let herself back out of the room. To find Cid standing outside her bedroom door, looking hesitant. It made her smile.

"She's in here," she told him. "But she's awake."

Cid snorted.

"Wasn't lookin' for her anyway," he stated. But he went back downstairs without whatever it was he'd been 'lookin' for'.

Aerith came and went but mostly she came. Tifa's place was much more interesting than her own, she told her friend and Tifa certainly didn't mind having Aerith's quiet presence and constant support.

Yuffie was – Yuffie. The computer and the slow internet connection were a source of constant annoyance to her apparently but she spent inordinate amounts of time on them anyway. She immediately adopted – or rather, was adopted by – Denzel and Marlene and the three of them could often be found in the corner of the bar when it was closed, heads close together and deep in – well, Tifa just assumed it was Pure Evil and left it at that. Yuffie also somehow managed to convince Leon to take her along on some of his trips. The girl was constant motion but also constant happiness and Tifa enjoyed having her around.

Her brother was much less obvious but Tifa was very aware of him and what he was doing as well. On the whole, Cloud seemed content to stay in the house, though from time to time he would disappear and come back at odd hours of the night and once he disappeared for a full twenty four hours. Tifa didn't panic because Yuffie didn't panic. He slept a great deal, still recovering from the mako poisoning and was quietly helpful. Tifa found her mix matched bar furniture didn't wobble the way it had used to and when she'd mentioned it to Cid he'd just given her a blank look. Denzel adored Cloud and would spend the hours after he got back from school following the older man around. Tifa often came across them to find Cloud sitting at the table with a map out and Denzel either doing his homework in the seat next to him or else, more often, asking Cloud about the places on the map. Cloud's seemed very well traveled though his answers tended to be more strategic than descriptive but it didn't seem to matter to Denzel.

As far as Tifa could tell – there were no sword lessons going on.

She did ask him about it one night though.

The bar was open, which meant most of her 'house guests' were elsewhere. Cloud however had developed the habit of sitting on a bar stool at the very end of the bar furthest from the door the entire time the bar was open. Each night he would slip in at some point after Tifa opened the bar and take up his usual spot. The patrons had learned to leave it empty for him. Tifa would slip him a drink and he would sit with it on the bar in front of him and nurse it the entire night.

The first few nights he showed up and took up his position, the regular patrons eyed him dubiously. By the third or fourth night they'd taken to ignoring him because he wasn't interesting and he wasn't threatening. By the end of the week, there would be glances toward the door from time to time until he arrived. Tifa found it – strangely endearing.

Cloud always came in the front door when he would come into the bar, never from inside the house. He'd been out roaming the first time but the second time, Tifa was sure he'd been upstairs with the kids originally. It wasn't until one of the older men who always came in to 'unwind' before going home to his family commented that it looked like she had an admirer that it occurred to her why Cloud was using the front door. When she brought him his drink the next night, she set it down in front of him and leaned on her elbows. He wrapped a dark gloved hand around the drink and tipped his head just the littlest bit to look at her with waiting eyes. She let him wait for a long minute before intentionally glancing to the front door he'd just walked in and then back at him. She knew he'd been upstairs beforehand because she'd checked.

"Guarding my reputation?" she asked with a teasing smile and had the pleasure of watching color flush across his cheeks before he ducked his head to take a swallow of his drink. Light she touched his other arm that was resting on the bar top.

"You're a sweet man, Cloud," she told him gently, even though men didn't generally like being called 'sweet'. Then she went back to her work. But she couldn't keep the content smile from her lips and she was aware of his eyes on her as she worked.

When the door opened, she felt the shift in the room even before she turned to see who it was. Tifa's bar was open to almost anyone that was willing to consider it neutral territory and not cause trouble. Gil was gil and the bills didn't care who it had come from as long as they got paid.

Serving 'anyone' included serving Turks.

"Hey, Tifa" a lean, lanky red head who gave an entirely neon spin to the word 'red' dropped down onto one of the bar stools. He could give Cloud a run in the 'spiky hair' department. The man who had been sitting on the stool next to him immediately picked up his drink and moved to a table but the Turk ignored it.

"Reno" Tifa nodded to the man's silent and imposing companion. "Rude." The tall, bald man at the shorter red head's shoulder nodded in return and settled down onto a stool next to his partner, shifting so he could keep an eye on the room and the door.

"Slow night?" Tifa asked and Reno grinned boyishly.

"oh you know how it is. Sometimes you just gotta play hooky."

"I have kids," Tifa reminded him with a shake of her head and a smile at his attitude as she poured him his usual drink. "Hooky's a forbidden word."

Reno just grinned at her.

"Why don't I believe that for a minute? You might have everyone else fooled" he took the drink she set in front of him. "But you're a party girl. I can tell."

"Am I?" Tifa arched an eyebrow at him as she poured Rude his usual as well.

"Oh yeah!" Reno was sure of it as he tossed back his first drink and offered his glass for another. "You pretend you're all quiet and responsible and maternal but it's always the quiet ones you've got to watch out for."

Tifa stopped herself from shooting Cloud a look. Reno was waxing on philosophically now that he had a second drink in front of him.

"The quiet ones are the wild ones. It's cause they don't get to blow off their steam a little at a time like us normal people do. So when it blows – it all blows! Like Rude here" he gestured to his silent companion. "Biggest partier in town. Really!"

Rude's eyes, hidden behind their sunglasses, still managed to meet Tifa's when she shot him a look and the dryness of it could have earned Tifa another full house of drinks. She stifled her smile and collected the empty glasses off the bar.

Reno was nodding and relaxing back against the bar, apparently settling in for the night.

"Now, Tseng, he's not a partier. You'd think he is – on account of him being so quiet, but he's not. He's not quiet, I mean. He's just boring. Dry, dull, boring. He doesn't talk cause he doesn't have anything to say, not cause he's not saying anything. You know? So that doesn't count."

"Is Tseng still stalking my friend?" Tifa asked without malice and Reno shrugged and offered his empty glass for a refill.

"The flower girl? Probably. Now she's a party girl too but not a wild one like you are. Cause she's not quiet, you see? Polite, but not quiet."

Tifa nodded her thanks to the men that were leaving their money on the bar and heading out. That was one thing about the Turks showing up – or rather Reno and therefore Rude – who were the only Turks that came to Tifa's bar. It cleared everyone else out pretty quickly. Drawing a Turk's attention was generally considered a bad thing down here and generally Tifa agreed. She wasn't worried about Reno or Rude though. They came in often enough she knew they just wanted to slum.

Not that she thought for a second they'd show mercy if they ever did decide she was dangerous to them. Or they were being paid.

Nicely enough, even though he chased out most of her customers just by existing, Reno drank enough, and expensive enough stuff, that he paid for it. Tifa poured him another drink and moved out into the bar itself to pick up glasses and put them on a tray to carry back for washing. Reno swiveled in his chair so he could continue his conversation with her.

"Now me? I'm a party guy. Hard core. But I don't have to be quiet. Cause I've got enough fire to burn all night and day, right? So I don't mind the quiet types. I like 'em." He nodded like a schoolboy approving what he found in his lunch bag. "That's why they put me with Rude. Cause it's a good mix. How 'bout you, Tifa?" He swiveled again as she went around behind the bar and started to unload the trays. "You like 'em quiet or fiery?"

Bringing the tray back, she was aware of Cloud a second before she turned around and it was the only thing that kept her from slamming into him as she suddenly found him behind her. Behind the bar counter. She caught the faintest scent of lightening they were so close… and then he was taking the glasses from her and setting them in the sink. She wasn't the only one he'd apparently startled because Reno burst out with a –

"What tha – who?" He looked at Rude – who was straightening his tie and not available and then back at Cloud. Then Tifa.

"You got hired help now?"

Tifa shrugged and offered a brief smile.

"He's cheap labor." Not at all sure what Cloud was doing. Aside from unloading the trays she'd brought over to set the glasses in the sink that was. Reno looked suspiciously at the blond but Cloud was ignoring everything while he stacked dishes.

Reno contemplated this for a little while as Tifa refilled his glass. Cloud started washing the glasses with practiced ease and it wasn't until he set the first one down to dry that Tifa realized why it looked so practiced. He was washing glasses exactly the way she did down to the number of times she ran the wash cloth around the rim of each glass and the way she set them with the handles all pointing the same direction.

"I don't know if you should have a guy helpin' out, Tifa" Reno opinionated after careful study. "Guys come in here to look at you. Having hired muscle around might put a damper on that."

Tifa gave the red head a dry look. Understanding where his partner got his store of them from.

"**You're **still here" she commented and Reno gave her a charming grin.

"It'll take more than some guy to scare me away, Tifa. I love you more than that."

She snorted her laugh and filled his glass again.

"I've also heard you say you love your jacket, that particular bar stool, hot days and, when you've had enough to drink, Rude."

"Well, Rude is pretty charming" Reno grinned. "And you know I like the quiet ones."

Tifa laughed and shook her head at him.

"I'm sure they like you too. Now get out of my bar. You've scared off all my customers for the night and I'd like to close down and actually get to bed before the crack of dawn for a change."

"You hear that?" Reno asked Rude. "She said she liked me. Cause I said she was quiet and she just said quiet ones like me."

"Then don't make me stop liking you" Tifa warned, collecting Rude's glass as he passed it politely to her. Reno just kept grinning, but he did finish his drink and as he handed it back to her, he asked:

"Go out with me, Tifa. We'll have fun."

She laughed, not for a moment taking him seriously and he just smiled cheerfully back at her. She jerked her thumb toward the door.

"The Honey Bee is that way, Turk."

"You wound me," he protested, hand dramatically over his heart and she shook her head at him. But he did stand up and Rude followed suit. The money Reno dropped on the bar top was enough for the drinks and a generous tip. In other words, almost a week's earnings. He gave her a crooked smile and, for just a moment, his blue eyes said he knew what that kind of money meant to her. Then the mischief was back in his eyes and he was sauntering toward the door, Rude at his shoulder.

"I'll be back" he waved a hand over his shoulder. "Make sure your washing boy doesn't break any glasses."

The door shut behind him and his partner and Tifa moved over to lock it and flip the 'closed' sign to show. Then she walked back behind the counter. Cloud was still washing glasses, for all the world looking as if that was all he'd been aware of. Tifa collected the last two glasses and set them down near his hand. Those too went into the water without comment. Under the water, up, under the water, up. Outside of the glass, inside, careful in the bottom, around the lip, one, two, three, under the water, outside, inside, upside down, twist and set on the drying rack, handle outward and tilted right. Tifa watched him run through her entire routine silently and then took the bar rag and started wiping everything down. When he was finished with the glasses, Cloud brought the broom out from behind the counter and started to sweep. Starting in the same corner Tifa always started in. Tifa emptied out ashtrays and cleaned down tables and chairs. The room was silent except for the sounds of their work and it wasn't a bad silence. To Tifa it felt like that calm pause in between breaths. Tifa didn't ask why he had suddenly showed up to wash glasses and Cloud didn't ask how she was so friendly with Turks. Because – it just didn't seem to matter between the two of them…

Her bar was clean and ready for the next day in no time at all and Tifa put away her cleaning rag with a satisfied sigh, resting her hands on her hips as she surveyed the now empty room.

"It's so early I almost don't know what to do with myself," she stated with real pleasure at the thought of having a night, or half of it at least, 'off'. Cloud looked up from where he was putting the broom away.

"Take a walk with me."

It surprised her and she turned to look at him.

"Now?"

He nodded, just once, a momentary tuck of his chin, blue eyes watching and watchful. It was after dark, they were in the slums, it wasn't exactly safe – she should be getting sleep while she could… Her smile started and then spread.

"It's cold out there," she protested. But she was already walking over to the door to pull down her jacket.

"I'm warm," his soft voice provided and from anyone else it would have been a line. From Cloud it was just true. And strangely innocent.

So Tifa hid her blush by pulling on her jacket and murmured her:

"Okay."

Cloud went upstairs while she slipped on her gloves and when he came back down his oversized sword was slung across his back. He usually left it in her bedroom and Tifa could understand why. It was impossible not to notice him when he wore it. He was wearing it now though over his jacket, pulling back on the gloves he'd taken off to wash the dishes. Eying him and the casual way he wore his sword, she asked:

"Did you promise to teach Denzel how to use your sword?"

His eyes flicked up to meet hers and for just a moment, there was laughter in that blue.

"Not my sword" he answered.


	25. Chapter 25: The Promise

Chapter 25: The Promise

"Cloud?"

He made a soft noise and Tifa looked over at him. They'd ended up at the playground and she still wasn't sure which of them had brought them to that point. Tifa was sitting on a swing, gloved hands on the chain links, swinging just a little in place. Cloud surprisingly sat on the swing just next to her, long legs stretched out in front of him and arms loosely around the links of the swing's chains. He had his head tipped back and was watching the sky – though it wasn't really the sky. Just the underside of the Plate above them. The lights of its electrics the closest Tifa had ever gotten to seeing stars since above the Plate the generators always gave off a green glow that tainted the night sky.

"What are you doing here?"

For a long moment he stayed the way he was and Tifa gently swung her legs from habit to keep her swing going in a lazy sway. She didn't expect the answer in a rush. And she didn't expect him to dodge the question by telling her why he was at the playground either. She thought he respected her more than that. Finally he lowered his head to look at her. In the dark, his eyes had a faint glow.

"There are things going on. Inside the reactors." For a split moment of time his ocean eyes were ice. "I **can't** let them keep happening."

"With the mako?" she asked and he nodded, just once, as he watched her. She dragged her heels to stop her swing and rested her cheek against the side of one of her gloved hands that was wrapped around the chain.

"Something with people?"

His eyes, bright with their own blue light, were intense as he watched her. Another single nod. Guarded. But not shutting her out. She pressed her lips together and nodded herself.

"Something that happened to you?" she dared it. His face was expressionless and closed. But, after a moment, he nodded again and his eyes didn't leave hers. Waiting.

Using her feet, Tifa maneuvered her swing sideways so that it bumped up against Cloud's and she wrapped her closest hand around the chain of his swing. It brought them bumping together companionably. His eyes, the strangest mix of young and old she'd ever seen, watched her and she realized – it was trust she saw in his eyes. The kind of absolute and unquestioning trust she only got from her sister and brother. A child's complete trust. But the rest of the things she saw in his eyes weren't childlike at all. She met those eyes with her own.

"Let's make a promise," she told him seriously and his eyes flickered curious as they watched hers. "Let's promise that if one of us ever needs the other one – they'll let them know. Even if it seems silly or embarrassing or little."

"Promise that?" he asked and she nodded. He was barely arrived in her life and from what she could gather, he disappeared regularly. Expecting him to even stay in touch seemed hard. And yet – she wanted to bind him to her. Wanted to know he was still a part of her life even if he wasn't there. Even if it was just with a thread as thin and breakable as a promise.

"Promise that," she stated, sure of it. "That if one of us is ever in a bind they'll let the other know so they can come."

His brows came down and his eyes sank in thought. It was her turn to watch him closely. Finally his blue eyes rose again to meet hers and he nodded. His closest hand reached out to close around the chain of her swing.

"All right, I promise."

She couldn't help her smile or the pleasure that filled her.

"Good. Me too." Giving her swing a nudge she bumped it against his. His lips curved upward in quiet answer and the skin around his eyes relaxed. "So, now that we're oath sworn – what's your last name, Cloud?"

The frivolous shift surprised him and he coughed a laugh, face breaking into a real smile for a moment. He rested the side of his face against her hand on his swing's chain so they were almost nose to nose.

"Strife. I'm Cloud Strife."

She smiled at him and imitated his gesture, resting her cheek against his hand on her swing' chain.

"I'm Tifa Lockhart. Pleased to meet you, Cloud Strife. So, are we old or new friends?"

His soft smile came again and his eyes were young.

"Both?" he guessed and she gave him another bright smile.

"I like that" she agreed. She didn't ask. Didn't ask what had been done to him or who had done it, how, when, or why. Not because she didn't care or want to know but because – not now. He'd tell her, if she asked. Somehow she knew he would and – she didn't want to hurt him. And the events and their memories obviously hurt him. So she would ask, and she would find out, but not now. She could take things a single step at a time. Because, somehow, she was going to find a way to keep Cloud in her life.

She wasn't willing to figure out why she wanted that or even for how long. She wasn't willing to deal with that just yet. But she knew she wanted him in her life. She'd work out the details later.

Walking back home in the cold, the silence was comfortable. There was no rush. Usually Tifa, if she was out this late, walked with a determined, quick stride that warned lurkers not to bother her but walking next to Cloud and his giant sword – that was warning enough really. Sector Seven was mostly working class and while that meant it wasn't as affluent as Wall Street over in Sector Six, it was less full of the more questionable types that were drawn to that kind of thing. It still had its share of questionable types and they passed quite a few of them in the clinging fog and gloom. No one was willing to directly confront the average sized man with the giant sword swung across his back though and so no one bothered Tifa while she was with him either.

It was odd to not have to be her own guard and a little bit nice too, Tifa had to admit.

Cloud stood close against her back while she unlocked the door to Seventh Heaven, sheltering her from the wind that had started to pick up as well as providing warmth. She'd seen the man following behind them in the shadows too but with Cloud watching her back she could fumble with the keys until she got them in the lock. Cloud's arm slipped around her waist as she got the doorknob turning and for just a moment, Tifa forgot everything but how warm, how wonderfully warm, the man behind her was. Then his hand closed over the keys in her hand and gently took them from her.

"I'll let myself back in. Lock up." His voice was against her hair. Tifa raised her eyes to him but he didn't look worried. Dealing with someone that had followed them home. Somehow, she wasn't worried about Cloud handling that. Still protecting the children. Perhaps… protecting her too? His hand on hers gave a light squeeze and he let go, the keys slipping into his jacket pocket without a sound. Then he stepped back from her slightly and she touched his arm with her fingertips. A 'be careful' without actually saying anything that silly. His lips shifted upward at their edges for her and she let herself into the bar. Cloud stayed behind and waited until she locked the door before the sound of his boots left her front step.

Thoughtful Tifa rested a shoulder on the door and crossed her arms loosely over her stomach. Realizing she'd just given Cloud her keys. Even her own father didn't have a set of keys to the bar anymore.

"Everything all right?"

She jumped and spun around. Leon was sitting at the bar on the stool nearest the door and she wished she still had the keys just so she could throw them at him.

"You scared me" she scolded him and he had the grace to look ashamed.

"Sorry."

"Everything's fine" she assured him, walking around to stand on the other side of the bar and lean on her elbows to look at him. "I just went for a walk. What are you still doing up?"

"With Cloud?" he asked and his eyes searched hers. The tone of his voice made her heart constrict.

"With Cloud."

He nodded and looked down at his hands on the counter top. Raised his eyes back to hers after a moment.

"I knew he was going to be trouble."

Tifa reached out and laid her hand over the top of his.

"It would help if you would be a jerk," she told him and his eyes flickered in surprise. And then, despite himself, twisted but there, he smiled.

"Sorry" he told her. She shook her head and gave his hands a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry, Leon. I'm not trying to be confusing. I just don't know what's going on myself."

"You're honest. I always knew I didn't have to worry about you lying to me." He lifted his thumbs so he could wrap them over the edges of Tifa's hand. Met her eyes. "You sure you don't want to lie to me?"

Despite the situation it pulled a weak smile out of Tifa and she met his eyes with appreciation. He sighed and stroked the top of her hand with his thumb.

"I'm not giving up, you know" he clarified and she looked at him. He shook his head.

"Don't worry. I won't be a jerk. But – I'm sticking around. If you change your mind, I'm – " he stopped and frowned. "I'm not sure but it will involve you and definitely not him."

Despite herself, a laugh whispered out of Tifa. Again, she squeezed his hand.

"It sounds like a plan," she agreed. She wasn't sure how she felt for Cloud. She wasn't sure she wanted to face it because it felt big and swallowing and life changing. But, above all that, she really had no idea what Cloud was thinking or feeling. He cared for her – there was no doubt about that. But there were a lot of levels of 'caring' and they were all different for everyone. Maybe she should have just clung to Leon. But then she'd have to stop being around Cloud because that wasn't right or fair. And she – she wasn't ready to stop being around Cloud. Not yet. Not now.

"So what are you still doing awake?" she asked Leon as she moved away from him to pour them both a glass of water.

"Waiting for you," he answered and when she looked at him, he shrugged. "I'm allowed to worry. And since I was worry about other things anyway, adding you was no extra trouble."

Coming back to hand him his water and lean on the bar again, she asked:

"Worry about?"

"The reactor in Sector Five. We're ready to go again. But security's tighter than before. I can get us through the reactor to the core once we're inside but I still need to figure out how to get us inside."

"I can get us inside."

Both Tifa and Leon's heads jerked around as Cloud shut the bar door.

"You've got a magic key?" Leon asked in challenge and Cloud shrugged as he locked the door behind him, setting Tifa's keys down on the bar top afterward.

"Something like that."

"No go" Leon shook his head. "I'm not taking my team into a situation that dangerous on a vague answer."

Cloud put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and lowered his chin to his chest for a long minute. Finally he looked back up.

"There – was a scientist. High ranking. Crazy genius. He installed secret codes into the Shinra security systems so that he could get in and out of where his experiments were kept if anyone ever blocked his legal access." Cloud's concentrated blue eyes didn't blink. "I have the codes."

Leon's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"You just happen to have magic codes that will get you in anywhere?"

Cloud just gave him a level, expressionless look in response.

Leon sat back on the stool and cross his arms over his chest.

"Why the hell would I trust you?"

"Because I'm coming on your raid." Tifa spoke up from where she was rinsing out her glass and setting it on the towel to dry. Both Cloud and Leon's heads jerked around to her and the response came from both of them at the same time.

"No."

"Absolutely not."

Tifa looked over at them.

"Yes." She told them calmly. "I am."

Leon turned on the stool to face her and Cloud turned away, making it a point to shrug out of his jacket and carefully hang it on the peg near the door. Tifa put her hands on her hips and looked at Leon expectantly.

"Tifa, you can't come. It's dangerous."

She gave him a look.

"Really?" she asked. "Because I thought you guys picked flowers while you were there."

Cloud made a sound low in his throat and Leon scowled.

"You're not trained, Tifa. Each of us has a part we do and everyone knows they can count on them."

Tifa nodded.

"So train me. You're down one anyway. Shera's not going to be able to go with you the way she is right now. You need an extra hand and I'm here. Besides, if I'm part of this I should know what that means."

Leon frowned at her.

"What about – "

"Don't." She warned it firmly and without flexibility. "They're my family and that's for us to deal with. Leon" she rested a hip against the bar and looked at him. "You need me. You know you do. You need an extra hand and you need to know you can trust what Cloud tells you. He wouldn't do anything that would risk me." She looked at Cloud when she said it and saw the look in his eyes when she said it. Satisfied, she turned back to Leon. "I solve both problems coming with you."

Leon shook his head again.

"I don't like it" he told her and she gave him an apologetic look. With a noisy exhale he stood up and laid his hands on the bar top. "I'll think about it" was all he'd commit to. Tifa looked down to hid her smile. He'd bring her. She knew she'd won the argument.

"I'm going to bed" he announced and left with that. Tifa exhaled and looked at Cloud who was still standing by the door.

"Are you going to tell me I can't go?" she asked calmly and he frowned but shook his head.

"No."

She was just starting to nod in triumph when he added:

"Because I'm coming too."

Tifa walked around the bar to look at him.

"Because of what they're doing with the mako?"

His eyes, blue as the ocean, lifted and met hers. He didn't answer.


	26. Chapter 26: Prepping

_so its that time again, gentle readers. Most of you I should call 'gentle readers' but I'm going to go with Rudyard Kipling's 'best beloved' for my reviewers. You guys are awesome! Cloti22 - woot! off to go blow things up! I love your enthusiasm! And - you're right - Cloud's got the cheat codes for the video game - lol! I love that call. Stay with me, best beloved, because its going to get to be a bouncy ride from here on out for a while and I'm partially blaming that on you and how hyper you make me with your reviews. Faceless, nameless reviewer - yep, I can't help the Cloud/Denzel thing - they seem made to buddy around. And I've got lots of surprises in store - welcome back! And ah, best beloved Peeka-chan you are the 'e' key on my keyboard. You make everything so much easier. **Awesome** call about Cloud's 'I'm warm' being a line!! Oh, you are so right! He was so using a line and knowing Tifa wouldn't get it._ _LOL! I'm so thrilled you called him on it! I'd love to have someone write this entire thing from his point of view because he's definitely not as clueless as Tifa likes to think. And yep, siblings are the best! I'll admit to comma problems, they're like small dogs - I'm never quite sure what to do with them. I should ask you to proof my chapters before I post them. A-dork-able is a new word I'm swiping off of you. And, Peeka-chan, best beloved... chapter 29 is entirely for you. Warm fuzzies all around, yo! _

Chapter 26: Prepping

Going up to bed that night, Tifa woke up her siblings and Aerith. Yuffie, on the mattress on the floor, slept through it all. Tifa had learned the girl was a hard sleeper the one time she'd tried to wake her up before noon. Sitting on the bed with Denzel and Marlene snuggled in on either side of her and groggy, she told them about what she'd volunteered for downstairs. It was her decision but the consequences were theirs. Marlene and Denzel's mostly but also Aerith's because as protective and solid as Barrett was – Tifa would want her siblings in Aerith's care if anything happened to her. Silent, they listened to her. And it stayed silent for several minutes afterward as well as they thought over what she'd decided. Finally Marlene asked in a small voice:

"Are people going to die?"

It was Tifa's own concern as well and she exhaled and held her little sister tightly against her side.

"Yes." They would. There was no way to avoid that. Blowing up a reactor meant – blowing it up. Which meant the people inside could – no, would get killed. Tifa didn't want to kill people but it was impossible to blow up the reactor without doing it. It would be nice to pretend that everyone working for Shinra was evil but – people were people. She doubted most of the people working in the reactor were sucking the planet's life dry because they wanted to see everything barren and destroyed. They were working there because it paid the bills or for the prestige. That it happened to destroy the planet for future generations was probably something they avoided thinking about when they could. Where was the line, where was the balance between stopping what was going on and stopping causing death and sorrow? It bothered Tifa that she didn't know.

"What will we do when there's no more power from Shinra?" Denzel asked from her other side and she shook her head as she looked down at him.

"I'm not sure. There are other forms of power. There are lots of little villages and places that don't have a mako reactor. They get their power from different sources. We'd have to learn to do that too."

"And when we stop the reactors," Aerith stated quietly. "The planet will stop screaming."

Tifa reached out and gently touched Aerith's arm. Her friend had a – strange relationship with the planet. Only Aerith could coax flowers to grow in the sterile soil of Midgar. Only Aerith could feel the conduits hidden behind buildings and under streets that carried the Shinra energy on its course. Only Aerith could heal with a touch and only Aerith could hear the planet's whispers. Her friend said it sounded more like listening to the rain outside a window, faint and hard to distinguish drop from drop but there in the back of your ears, constant and soothing.

Except when it was screaming.

"Is Cloud going with you?" Denzel asked and Tifa looked down at him in surprise. His eyes were very determined over the concern and fear in them. Again, she nodded. And watched her little brother relax, just a little.

"Good" he stated clearly. "He said he'd watch over you."

That surprised Tifa and she dipped her head to look at her brother closely.

"He did? When did he say that?"

Denzel looked embarrassed and ducked his head so that his shaggy hair fell in the way.

"When I asked him to," he mumbled.

Tifa didn't know whether to be touched or mortified.

"You did?" she asked and he looked up at her suddenly, eyes fierce.

"Cause you're always protecting us and making sure we're safe in case anything bad happens. But there's no one to protect you and make sure you're safe. And Cloud's fast and strong. He's faster than anyone else."

"So you asked him to protect me?"

Denzel nodded and Marlene peered around Tifa to watch him.

"What did he say?" it popped out before Tifa could stop herself and as soon as she asked it she wished she could take it back.

"He said he always would," Denzel answered simply.

As they all crawled in bed together and settled down for the night, Tifa told herself that Cloud's promise to Denzel was just something an adult would say to a child to sooth them. Not anything to be taken seriously. And yet, lying there with her brother and sister draped over her and Aerith on the other side of Marlene… Tifa remembered Cloud's eyes when he made his own promise to her – and the way he took all of Denzel's questions so seriously. The way there was a strange touch of child in his own eyes…

And she couldn't imagine Cloud making a promise to a child unless he intended to keep it.

Her 'training' started the next day. Tifa hadn't been sure what to expect but apparently – to her surprise and delight – it was demolitions. It wasn't every day you got to work with explosives. Granted, since she and Cid were doing it in her basement, bundled up against the cold in the hidden room Barrett had built, Cid feeling free to curse to his heart's content since the kids weren't within hearing range, they weren't real explosives. But the wires and the principles he was teaching her didn't need real explosives to work. Apparently laying a bomb was more than just shoving it in a corner and setting a timer – though Cid showed her how to do that too. It was knowing how to hide it, how to fix it if something went wrong, how to stop and start it, how to disarm it if they got trapped inside with it… a dozen little things that Tifa memorized carefully. The 'where' of laying it was what Leon came down the stairs to teach her. He had maps of the reactors and he went over, point by point with her, where their weak spots were, where their construction carried the most strain, where the most highly unstable chemicals were… wherever an explosion would do the most damage. Tifa went over and over the floor plans with him until she had a clear picture in her head.

The idea was to move together as a team to three points and set the explosives as a group and then get out. But things didn't always go as planned and so each of them would carry an explosive and each of them had an assigned spot to deliver theirs to if they got separated. Tifa worried about that part. How could you set an explosion on a timer not knowing if your companions would get out in time?

Protecting herself while she was setting the bomb was another thing she was worried about. She was a part of a team and that meant not being a burden. If they worried about her, that meant they wouldn't be able to do their own jobs well. Tifa supposed she could carry a gun, since she had no clue on how to use a bladed weapon. But she'd never used a gun before – there wasn't even one in the house. There was a bat behind the bar she had never actually even come close to needing to use and that had been the extent of 'weapons' until her guests had started moving in. On the whole, it was generally about looking like you were going to be too much trouble to bother with. Yes, she ran a bar and yes, she had a defenseless father and two siblings relying on her for protection. And yes – she invited strange people into her house to get drunk on a regular basis. But her regular patrons were very protective of the bar itself and Tifa in particular and the very rare times she'd actually had to resort to violence her training with Master Zangan had come in handy and she'd dropped her opponents with a few well aimed blows to strategic pressure points. It was next to impossible for a guy to be violent when his knees had suddenly stopped working or his arms were hanging limp below the elbows.

Those were close combat attacks however and weren't going to do her any good long distance if they were being chased or attacked. She supposed she'd have to ask Leon for a gun – but she didn't like it.

Sitting on a pew in the empty church Aerith had adopted as her own and grew her flowers in, Tifa mentioned it to her best friend. The children were playing hide and seek inside the ruined church and Aerith was kneeling on the wooden floor near Tifa fussing over her flowers. At Tifa's comment however, Aerith sat back on her heels and started fussing with her bracelets.

"Here" she handed something to Tifa and Tifa took it in her hand automatically. 'It' was three little hard balls that for all the world looked like marbles. Except Tifa knew better.

"Materia?" she asked in shock, shifting the glowing globes of light in the palm of her hand. In such concentrated form, even Tifa could feel the tingle from them in her palms. Holding enough with those three little balls to buy half of Sector Seven – or at least a good portion of it. Aerith nodded with a smile.

"I find them. I can feel them when they're nearby. That's an ice and two fires. The ice isn't very old though. We can put them in the knuckles of your gloves. That way they'll hurt when you hit someone and they'll be right there when you want to use them."

Tifa looked at them, blinking and then looked at her friend.

"Aerith – "

Aerith waved a hand.

"What am I going to do with ice and fire materia? Its not like they help the flowers grow. And I wouldn't sell them because I don't trust anyone that could afford to buy them. So I've just been carrying them around because they sound nice." Aerith's green eyes met Tifa's brown ones and they were serious as her voice softened and she reached out to close Tifa's hand over the globes. "I can't think of anything I'd rather do with them than keep you safe, Teef."

Tifa swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat and just managed to nod. Aerith burst into a grin and hugged her tightly. A hug Tifa returned just as fiercely.

"You'll take ours too?"

Tifa wiped at her eyes and turned to see Denzel standing behind the pew. Marlene was standing next to him, holding his hand and looking serious.

"Yours?" she asked and Denzel, the spokesman for a change, nodded.

"Our healing materia. That you keep hidden behind the dresser." Tifa had told them where it was when she'd gotten it so long ago. Just in case. Before Tifa could protest, Marlene spoke up, looking angry.

"Cause they're no good to us if you die and we never needed them anyway. So you should take them and use them if you need to. So you can come back to us."

Perhaps she should have argued but Tifa couldn't. Not with that logic. Instead she just nodded and watched their faces relax into smiles.

"All right" she agreed. "We'll sew those into my gloves too when we get home."

At this rate, Tifa figured she was going to be a walking materia warehouse. But it was more than materia – it was the love of her family and friends that she was really carrying with her. And suddenly going into battle – or a covert bombing run – didn't seem as… alone as it had before.


	27. Chapter 27: Secrets

_ps - we really need someone to make us all Cloud plushies to snuggle. Cloti22 - Cloud being mysterious indeed_. _And verb tense is important, isn't it, Peeka-chan?_

Chapter 27: Secrets

The first part of the plan was easy. Tifa dropped hints about her father being sick the night before and that night, she left the bar closed. Then, Tifa and Leon climbed out through the back window. Cid, Cloud, and Yuffie had already gone earlier in the day. Leon still didn't trust Cloud and Tifa knew he was looking for the slightest reason to call tonight off. But he had to move soon before they repaired the other reactor. One reactor down was inconvenient. Two was bordering on crippling. Barrett, grumbling, stayed behind to guard Aerith and the kids. A quick stop before they boarded the trains for horrible disguises that Leon assured Tifa were simply to keep the cameras from recording who they really were, not to fool anyone into anything else and they rode the train to the upper levels. There they ditched the disguises and Tifa linked her arm through Leon's and they pretended to be on a date. Tifa had her gloves in her jacket pocket but under the jacket she'd worn 'Rita's' outfit. Well, not really. The mini-skirt was replaced with a pair of black stretch shorts for mobility – who really fought in a mini-skirt anyway? Wouldn't you worry about flashing people? The shorts left her legs bare to the cold but she thought she'd be moving fast enough soon enough that she'd warm up. She wore the white top and the shoes too. It gave her a little bit of extra courage to 'borrow' a bit of 'Rita's' spirit and the clothes were comfortable and easy to move in. She also couldn't bring herself to leave the earrings Aerith had given her behind. They were a little bit of borrowed courage too and she was aware of them swaying against her throat as she moved.

Leon chatted like a guy trying to impress a new date and walked them around in circles for Tifa didn't know how long, just that she was thoroughly lost by the time they slipped into the side door of an empty dress shop. Cid was there with two brown shopping bags and he pulled the explosives out of them and handed them around with last minute instructions. Tifa took hers and felt as if it were a strange old friend for some inexplicable reason. A strange, old friend that could blow up and kill her. It all seemed just a bit surreal and Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted that to change or not. Leon also gave Tifa a gun and she took it reluctantly. He'd showed her the basics already and she listened as he went over them again, holding the gun in her hand and trying to will it to feel as familiar as the bomb did. It didn't work and she put it in her coat pocket and tried to forget about it. Prayed silently that she wouldn't need it.

Then they went out again but this time they took back ways and moved in the dark places. Tifa made it a point to memorize the route. If she got separated from everyone she'd need to find her way back alone – not an encouraging thought but she'd promised Denzel and Marlene that she'd do everything in her power to come back to them. Alive.

The reactor was fenced in and guarded with a wide space of open area between it and the rest of the surrounding buildings. Tifa saw Shinra guards on patrol as well and pressed her lips together as the team stopped in the shadows. Waiting for Cloud. This was the sticking point. If he wanted to turn them over all he had to do was have told the Shinra guards where and when to expect them. Leon was tense, muscle in his jaw twitching, fresh half healed scar between his brows red and wrinkled. He wore a strange sword/gun Tifa hadn't seen before and she wondered how far away from pulling it he was. Intentional she exhaled a long, slow breath and forced her shoulders down.

"He'll come," she stated softly, putting absolute confidence into her voice. Leon gave her a look, questioning how she could be so sure. And she couldn't . Not with her head. Cloud seemed to care about her, though for all she knew it could be as just another sister. Her head told her that could all be a show and not true. Her heart however knew he would come.

And just as Leon was starting to narrow his eyes, Cloud did.

"Sorry, I'm late. I had to find something to keep Yuffie busy." His voice was as mild and calm as ever as he materialize out of the shadows. He was dressed as a SOLDIER tonight, complete with the wide belt and the shoulder guards. His giant sword was resting across his back as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Tifa didn't doubt it was. Leon's eyes narrowed at the uniform but Cid didn't look surprised.

"Helped him get it" he drawled around the cigarette in his mouth he couldn't light. "Along with a coupla other shit."

Cloud went to a knee and opened the backpack he'd had tossed across a shoulder. Pulled out white lab coats with official looking badges.

"They're not" he stated at Tifa's glance and when she raised her eyebrows at him, he added: "Official. They won't hold up to any kind of scrutiny. But the grunts are taught to steer clear of SOLDIERs and a lot of them are new, just brought in since the last bombing so they don't know the people that work here. We're bluffing our way through."

"Do you make it a habit of reading my mind?" she asked, only half joking and for just a second the professional military demeanor dropped from his face and he was quietly smiling at her, looking young behind the cover of his blond hair.

"It's what I would think, if I were in your spot," he told her softly. "Your eyes yell what you're thinking."

"Enough with the lip flappin'. Put on yer jackets an' let's get this the fuck over with." Cid, apparently, wasn't the most patient man and Tifa wondered how that worked out for a bomb maker. She did slip on the lab coat however, helping Cloud stuff her jacket in the backpack. The gun and the gloves went in the coat pockets of the lab coat. The bombs were another matter however and they ended up all being inside Cloud's backpack. Leon's gun sword ended up across Cloud's back as well. Again, Tifa could tell Leon didn't like that and she could understand why. But there wasn't much alternative.

Cid had even thought to bring extra props and so Leon got a pair of glasses that made him look overly educated and Tifa got a clipboard. She pulled her hair up into a bun and borrowed a pencil to slip through it and keep it in place. Turning around, one hand still up to tuck away the last strands of her dark hair she caught both Leon and Cloud watching her and gave them a curious look. Leon just cleared his throat and looked back at their gear. Cloud gave her a smile that was so softly pleased it made her cheeks flush and she didn't even know why. Instead she looked down and concentrated on tucking the last strands of hair in place, knowing that half of them would fall out again anyway but hoping that would make her looking like an absent minded professor and not a barmaid that was used to putting her hair up with anything at hand when it got hot working.

"How'd you get in last time?" she asked and Cid shrugged.

"Janitors. 'Cept they're screening everyone now, even the shit shovelers."

"Colorful, Cid" she commented and he grinned.

"All in a day's work."

"Let's go" Leon announced and they all faded back into the shadows to walk around to the side entrance that was the least guarded according to Leon's inside information. Tifa took a deep breath before they left their cover and strolled along next to Leon, hands in the pockets of her lab coat, clipboard under her arm. If she could pretend to be 'Rita' she could pretend to be a high paid, over worked, brainy scientist who didn't know the meaning of going home for the night. She wrinkled her nose and then pulled out the clipboard to glance down at it as they entered the gates. Gestured to Leon, walking next to her, with it.

"Mixing hydrogen with it would lighten the compound. You might want to think about adding a Felix agent to the mix. The matrix would alter a little but it might get the results you're looking for." The words she mashed together made no sense at all to her but they did sound professional and vaguely sciencey. Hopefully it would sound that way to the guards they were approaching and then passing as Cloud led the way to the side door. Leon looked at her over the top of his glasses and then down at the year old phone log they'd pulled out of a bin somewhere to have something to put on the clipboard to make things look more professional.

"Felix agent, huh" he said, voice thoughtful as they walked. "That might work. As long as it didn't alter the matrix too much. I don't want to destabilize the compound."

In front of them Cloud strode up to the guards in front of the building and whatever kind of look he gave them had them hastily stepping to the side. He punched numbers into the keypad next to the door. Tifa had to admit, as she stole glances at him, Cloud looked suddenly intimidating and she couldn't even tell what was different.

"You should anchor it was a saline solution" Tifa told Leon factually. Wishing she'd gotten to wear glasses. Everything sounded smarter when you were wearing glasses and she was running out of technical terms. In a second she was going to have to resort to talking about tachyon beams. "Otherwise it will fritz your culture."

The door in front of them slid open and Cloud strode in, for all the world looking like he just wanted to get rid of the people following him as soon as possible. Leon took a pen out from behind his ear to make a notation on the ancient phone log as he walked through the door next to her.

"Saline solution" he repeated as he doodled a little stick cat with a smiley face. Ahead of them, Cloud calmly added:

"Fritz your culture?"

Tifa couldn't help it, so relived to be inside that she actually gave in and stuck her tongue out at his broad back.

"You come up with smart sounding jargon on the fly and I'll let you laugh at my 'fritzy culture', Cloud Strife."

The soft sound in front of her was his version of a laugh.

"I thought it sounded smart" Cid offered and earned one of Tifa's dazzling smiles.

"See?"

"Come on" Leon took over the lead and pushed open the door that led out of the narrow hallway. Tifa followed him through – and then jerked to a stop just like he had. Cid all but piled into her.

"By all that's Holy…" Tifa had to raise both hands to her mouth, eyes huge over them as she looked at the room they'd walked into. Cloud stood next to her, still and silent.

It was a science lab. There was no doubt about that. The walls were lined with computer terminals and textbooks of various sizes and ages. Carefully labeled bottles full of odd colored liquids lined the walls and rested in rows on the large table in the middle of the room next to beakers and small burners and test tubes. The air smelled like foreign chemicals… and old blood. And lightening. And it was that familiar smell that had struck Tifa even before she saw –

The large tubes, clear and the height and distance across of coffins, full of green liquid against the far wall. Others, opaque, lay flat in a neat row on the floor against the opposite wall. Against her better judgment, Tifa started toward them, drawn. Cloud's hand closed over her shoulder and when she looked up at him, he shook his head.

"Go on" he spoke to Leon but his eyes were on Tifa and she'd never seen them so still and waiting before. "I've got business to take care of here."

Leon wasn't having it.

"What the hell is this?" he asked. "This room isn't on the blue prints. Those are human sized." The anger was in his voice as he gestured toward the empty tubes on the wall and their green liquid but the anger wasn't for Cloud. Looking a second time, Tifa could see coils of small tubing and wires on the floor of each of the tubes. The kind that had needles on the ends of them and that you stuck in the arms of men trapped inside the glass confinements. Cloud's hand hadn't left Tifa's shoulder and she raised her own hand to lay it over his, twining their fingers. Cloud's eyes found hers and the surprised look in them made her want to hold him in her arms for his comfort and yet also made her want to have him hold her for her own comfort.

"The – scientist – I got the codes off of. He had rooms like this in almost every reactor." Cloud's level, expressionless eyes, nothing but ice and mirrors, looked at Leon. "He was trying to make the perfect creature."

"With people?" Leon was obviously adding another sin to Shinra's list. Cloud's head barely moved but Tifa caught it. Toward the pods on the floor.

"Sometimes."

Gently tugging her hand away she moved over to the pods and this time Cloud didn't stop her. Instead he followed her.

"Sometimes?" she asked, feeling her heart breaking. Remembering words Cloud had used in the past. 'mako for uses other than SOLDIER' 'normal people' as if he wasn't one.

There were glass windows set into the pods and Tifa rubbed a hand over the condensation. Clearing it away to see –

"Sweet Gaia!" she jumped back so hard she jarred into Cloud and his hands closed over both of her shoulders to hold her steady. He softly said the word that had jumped into her mind.

"Monsters."

It brought Cid and Leon over and they too leaned over the glass to look at the horror in the pod.

"Concentrated mako makes materia" Cloud's voice was steady. Flat and expressionless. "It also makes monsters. Its why there are so many around Midgar. Some people think it's the planet's defense against the Lifestream being pulled out of it. A natural 'immune' system response to a sickness. Hojo figured out how to create the monsters in a controlled environment."

Looking again, Tifa saw that the monsters had tubes and wires attached to them too. Leaving burrowing scars on their arms as well…

Wide eyed she looked up at Cloud again and saw he was still looking at the glass. And the closed look in his eyes, what was written so obviously to her on his blank face, broke her heart.

"Shit" Cid picked up on things slower than Tifa and Leon. "Good thing all the freaks are on the other side of those lids."


	28. Chapter 28: Heating Up

Chapter 28: Heating Up

They left Cloud in the room. Tifa didn't want to and Leon, surprisingly for reasons that didn't involve suspicion, wasn't too fond of the idea either. But it was impossible to argue with the blond warrior when everything about him was so set and emotionless. Especially when their time here was on a limit and the team hadn't even started their own mission yet. Leon gave Cloud one of their bombs however.

"End it" was all he said but Cloud met his eyes and nodded as he accepted the explosive. Then Cid and Leon were headed for the door and Cloud turned away to face the pods. He wouldn't look at Tifa.

There was so much she wanted to say – and yet nothing to say at all. Too many emotions all crying too loudly to pick one or two. But, looking at the set of Cloud's shoulders as he stared at the pods full of monsters –

"Come back." Tifa was surprised by how fierce it came out and she moved around to stand in front of him, not caring if he refused to lower his eyes to look at her. Panic. Panic was the emotion that rose to the surface of her confusion. Rough, she wound her fingers in the fabric of his shirt and when he didn't respond right away, she jerked them and growled.

"I said – you come back."

His eyes did flicker down to her then, in surprise, and she looked up at him, desperate and for once, too caught up in what she suspected was behind his eyes to hide it.

"Cloud…" it came out soft. "When you're done here, come back to me…"

For just a moment, the blank mirror that covered his eyes disappeared and the depths of them, and all the broken bits of his soul she saw inside that impossible blue, was bottomless. She had the insane urge to kiss him – and never stop.

"Come back to me" she repeated in a whisper. His eyes clung to her the way his hands, kept stiffly at his sides, wouldn't. Without meaning too, he nodded. Just once. Tifa nodded in return. Reached up to touch his cheek lightly. Held his eyes with hers as her name was hissed at her from the doorway.

"To me" she repeated, voice barely there. As if she were more of a binding thread to him than his sister… but she wasn't really thinking. This was instinctive. Then she let him go and hurried out of the room.

Even Cid was silent as the three left moved down the hallway and Tifa thought, as much as they needed to be secretive, their silence was more than that right now. She'd left her lab coat on but she'd also slipped on her gloves. They felt worn and familiar and – bracing. From the corner of her eye from time to time, like the sway of her earrings, she caught glints of light and color in the knuckles of them and maybe she just imagined it for her own comfort but she thought she could feel the warmth of them too. Aerith and her family – sending their love along with her for this.

Leon was at the head of the small group, gunblade in hand, lab coat gone because it would have been incongruous anyway to try to explain why a Shinra scientist was armed with something like that. The reactor was quiet at this time of the night but the metallic clank of footsteps or the low murmur of voice could be heard from time to time and the small group infiltrating the building kept to the shadows and low. Leon led them through maintenance ducts and Tifa was doubly glad of the choice of shorts over a mini-skirt because Cid was crawling behind her.

The first bomb was planted and set and they moved on to their second destination. Avoiding security cameras and guard patrols. Whoever had given Leon his information was – very knowledgeable and Tifa couldn't help but wonder what that meant.

The second bomb was 'hers' and needed to be set in the middle of a pipe structure. She and Cid walked across the open space while Leon covered them from the shadows and Tifa quickly knelt down to set it where she'd been told too and activate it while Cid stood casually in front of her, blocking anyone's view.

My hands should be shaking, Tifa thought incongruously. Shouldn't my hands be shaking? My heart's going a mile a minute and my chest feels like I've got iron bands around it – but my hands aren't shaking. My hands should be shaking…

The lights on the bomb lit and the timer started counting down. Tifa's bare fingertips touched the device one last time – a prayer? A claiming responsibility for the sin? – and then she straightened up and nodded to Cid. He wasn't going to be able to smoke that cigarette he still had unlit in his mouth. Not with the abuse it was taking from his tense jaw movements.

As a team they moved out of the room and started down the hallway. They wouldn't be able to go out the way they'd come in but luckily no one was watching the people exiting as carefully as they were watching those coming in. The motor pool was down the hall and two rooms over. They'd ride out of here.

Except as they came around the corner, they ran into a squad of Shinra troopers. For a minute everyone was just as surprised as the others. But Leon with his giant sword was too hard to mistake for a late night scientist and that's when the yelled orders and firing started. Cid pushed Tifa through a nearby door into an adjoining room and she rolled with the momentum as Leon followed them through. Tifa had always had fast reflexes as a child and her training with Master Zangan – not to mention growing up in a house full of kids – had heightened them. So she was the first one on her feet and sprinting for the opposite door in an instant.

The bombs were counting down and now it was less getting out of here secretly and more just getting out as far as Tifa could tell. Alarms started to blare as she jerked the door open. Would the blaring alarms warn people to get out – or would they lure more people in?

"Come on!" she yelled and Cid barreled through followed closely by Leon. Shinra troopers poured into the room they'd just left. And Tifa lit off the Fire materia in her left glove.

It was true – she understood the concept of using materia. It was concentrated life energy and responsive to supposedly everyone. It was a second of focus on the glowing orb and a strange mental selection, a 'this one' in her mind. That and a prayer that it actually worked, though Tifa didn't think that last one was necessary. What she hadn't been prepared for was the way it felt. The sheer – _heat_ of it. The way it swept through her entire body, not just her hand. Boiled her blood and yet it was such a – thrill. The best feeling in the world. A split second of knowing the pure, unadulterated joy of being fire and nothing else. And then it shot from her fist and she realized she'd almost forgotten to even point it in the right direction, so – impossibly full – of the feeling.

The burst of fire went wild into the room but it was a small room and it controlled the damage. And concentrated it. Yells of anger turned into less organized yells of panic as the flames latched on to anything edible. Tifa had a moment to feel relieved that her fire burst didn't seem strong enough to kill anyone – and then Leon was jerked her back and they were running again. Running and luckily all Tifa had to do was follow blindly because her head was still dealing with being half fire.

"Hot shit!" Cid's triumphant yell summed everything up as he tore down the corridor ahead of them and Leon took the time to spare Tifa a glance as they ran. Eyes wide and promising there were going to be questions after they were safe again.

Materia… Tifa's head swam a little but she found she was grinning like a loon as she ran. No, it certainly wouldn't help Aerith's flowers grow but – wow!

They were darting over a walkway, boots clanking hollow over the abyss it was suspended over, when the Shinra guards found them. The guns opened fire again and Leon returned the favor.

"Come on!" Cid was in the lead, still angling them toward the carpool and Tifa followed close on his heels. Except their time was done and far away at first and then growing closer, Tifa could hear explosions.

Her first thought was of Cloud. Then it occurred to her that she needed to worry about herself.

Halfway across the long walk, the bridge they were moving over shuddered. Tifa heard Cid curse and the way it was cut short. Her own boots lost traction on the metal surface. It lurched treacherously under her again just as she was grabbing for one of the rails and the cold metal shuddered just enough to slip an inch to the side. Her fingers brushed it on their way past. Tifa's mind had a second to find the proper expletive – all it offered was 'crap!' – and then she felt solid metal traded for thin air under her. Brows coming down in angry determination, she thrust out with her hands.

She'd promised Marlene and Denzel –

Fingers closed around her wrist and jerked her to a painful stop. She had a brief glimpse of the empty world below her shoes and then tipped her head back to look up.

Sunshine…

Cloud's hair.

And, again, for no understandable reason it made her smile.

"Sorry, I'm late," he offered, lying on his stomach, body half over the edge. His other hand was braced against the bar of the railing and it was almost all that kept him from falling over with her. Tifa managed to shake her head and her own fingers closed over his wrist. For a second – it was the entire world.

"Not late. Just on time."

And then another explosion shook everything and Cloud slipped forward just a little more, muscles in his arms straining visibly. Tifa had a second to realize that anyone else would have dropped her already and apparently 'ridiculously fast' wasn't the only thing Cloud was. Strong helped too. Gunfire filled the air around her and she realized that her friends had stopped their retreat and were staying to cover her and Cloud. And the sound of those explosions wasn't fading away any either. Quick she took another look below her –

Returning to her siblings didn't mean getting everyone else killed…

"Tifa – "

She looked up and met Cloud's eyes. And in them she saw –

"Stop reading my mind." A stupid time to scold him. Instead she focused. "Can you swing me, Cloud?" His blink and she noticed the details. His eyelashes were much darker than she'd thought…

"Tifa?"

"Walkway." The walkway above them was starting to shake and she heard Cid curse. "Below this one. Swing me, Cloud. So I can drop onto it."

His eyes narrowed and another rattle shook the bridge he was barely holding on to. She gave him a soft smile and then cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What's wrong, chocobo head? Can't you aim?"

His blue eyes narrowed again but this time there was a definite glint in them. Twisting his neck, he looked and spotted the walkway below that Tifa had mentioned. It was – further away than she'd made it sound and further down. Another explosion shook the bridge and its metal groaned. Not as far away as she would have liked, Tifa could see rushing fire coming toward them. Her eyes found Cloud's face.

"Quickly" was all she said. And then her body was sweeping forward, backward, forward again with a speed and strength that scared her –

almost as much as it scared her when she felt Cloud's fingers let go.


	29. Chapter 29: Fire and Water

Chapter 29: Fire and Water

'I shouldn't have called him 'chocobo head,' Tifa had time to think as she fell. And then her body hit metal and she instinctively rolled with the fall. It still knocked all the air out of her but that was better than splattering all over a hard surface much further down and so Tifa would take it. Her fingers bruised and cut themselves as they scrabbled for something to hold and she caught the side of a rail as her body came to rest against another one. Cloud had thrown her better than she'd thought was possible. Another explosion shook the walkway she was on and jarred her out of the contemplation her mind had slipped into defensively and she pulled herself to her knees. Raised her face.

Above and to the side she saw…

Sunlight.

Raising a hand, she waved. And then the walkway shook tremendously and Tifa hauled herself to her feet and bolted.

All around her she could hear metal screaming in protest. What had been in those bombs Cid had made? Or rather – what had been in those pipes she'd set it against? Soles of her shoes ringing, she sprinted down the walk and threw herself into the semi-safety of the hallway beyond. It was full of smoke and the way the building was shuddering now she felt like a dying leviathan's last meal, still alive as the beast gave its death keel and dragged her down. Brows low and determined, Tifa kept running, each footstep a name.

Denzel.

Marlene.

Aerith.

Dad.

Barrett.

Cloud…

She'd memorized the blue print of the main areas of the reactor but none of it rose up in her mind now to help her. She had a general sense of which way was the closest exit though and so she headed that way. Hoping, praying, everyone else got out safely.

The smoke got thicker and full of foul, choking smells and the building continued to shake and fall apart. Tifa had to rest a hand against the wall and stop running, moving forward as quickly as she could instead. Her eyesight sank to practically nothing and she pulled the lab coat up to cover her nose and mouth as she coughed on the smoke. Squinting her eyes as she pushed forward as quickly as she could. She would not die here. She would not die here. She would not –

Her boot caught on something on the floor and sent her pitching forward onto her hands and knees.

Where she came face to face with a scientist.

A dead scientist.

For a long minute the rest of the world disappeared. Details imprinted themselves on Tifa's mind in bursts. His name tag said Fletcher. His dark hair was just on the edge of needing a haircut. His tie was blue with tiny little white dots.

Half his face was missing.

Chunks of flaming metal fell around her and Tifa still couldn't seem to stop staring. Something above her groaned and a part of her knew she needed to react.

He had brown eyes… eye.

A body impacted with hers and they rolled as the ceiling fell. In the angry light from the fire, Tifa blinked her eyes dully. And saw a face peering down at her with concern.

"You okay?"

She blinked at the voice. His eyes were blue. Green. Blue.

"Hey. Come on. You've gotta snap out of it."

She blinked again, more rapidly and shook her head. Reached up to brace her hands instinctively against his chest because he was a stranger and still over top of her. He grinned, young and boyish, at the move and rolled to his feet. Offering his black gloved hand. She took it on automatic response again and suddenly he smiled. Hauled her to her feet and jerked his head.

"Come on. The way out's this way."

He waited for her nod and then took off running and Tifa sprinted along behind him through the flames and smoke and falling building. Keeping track of him by the back of his dark head and the wild spikes of black hair that would have given Cloud a run for his gil on which one had crazier hair. Her companion was easily more talkative than Cloud however because he kept up a running commentary as they ran, voice cheerful and unthreatened.

"Whoa!" He suddenly reached up and braced his hands just as a beam fell, taking the weight with a grunt. The strain showed on his face and then his eyes opened as Tifa skid to a stop next to him and he gave her a grin.

"Cut under, beautiful. I've got this."

Tifa skid under the beam, safe under the protection of his arms and once she was past he twisted and let the beam fall, catching her by the arm to keep running. He shot her a smile.

"Exciting, isn't it?"

Despite herself, coughing on smoke, Tifa still hiccuped a laugh.

"There!" he pointed and ahead of them, through the smoke, Tifa saw outside. She headed for it – and then skid to a stop to look back at her rescuer. Because he wasn't next to her anymore. He gave her a jaunty salute from deeper in, two fingers against his temple and a wink. Then he was gone, running back the way they'd just come. Tifa reached instinctively to stop him but he was long gone. Back to find more people to rescue? And she recognized his uniform.

Had she just been rescued by a SOLDIER?

She started coughing in the smoke again and hurried to reach the opening, a collapse in the wall, that he'd pointed out to her. Staggering out of it, Shinra soldiers hauled her out – and then let her go. Belatedly she realized she was still wearing the tattered remains of her stolen lab coat. Still coughing she found her way to the crowd of employees gathered further from the building and then melted carefully from that growing crowd to the crowd of onlookers where she shed her lab coat. After that, she slipped down an alley and then another and another until she was far from the orange glow of the burning reactor.

All around her the buildings were dark and lightless as the power to this section of the city disappeared. Tifa lifted her eyes to the sky – but the green glow from the still functioning reactors was all she saw. Folding her arms protectively over her stomach she frowned and thought.

There was no way she was going to find her way back to that dress shop. And she couldn't take the train. Not looking the way she was sure she was and without a disguise. Pressing her lips together she raised her head and looked around again. Trying to find the others was out of the question too. She wouldn't be the only one looking for them and it was more likely she'd be found by the wrong people than she'd find any of her team. It would worry them but she was going to have to get back to Seventh Heaven on her own.

Stairs. Reno had once complained about stairs. Each of the Plates had a support pillar. And you could take – stairs… Turning quickly she headed for where her sense of direction told her the pillar probably was. They'd watch those too but if she was quick enough she might get there before they remembered to. No one remembered the pillars any more than they remembered the walls around the upper city.

More than physical darkness was starting to spread through the upper Sector Five and Tifa had to dodge trouble and panicked groups more than once but she was used to that and she reached the pillar without problems. All it was, was just a set of steps leading down into a subway like structure and Tifa went down the steps carefully, keeping her feet silent. No one was there yet though and so she slipped under the camera and turned it to show the ceiling. Then she went to the wire mesh fence that blocked the beginning of the stairs. Looked around and found the locked 'door'. The chain through the wire grates of the door and the wire grates of the fence looked pretty thick and determined. So Tifa shifted over to the hinges. Drawing back she lashed out with a hard kick that rattled the links and made the hinges groan as her boot impacted. Face set, she did it twice more and the hinges broke. The door crashed backward, now attached to the sagging fence by only the thick chain. Not exactly super SOLDIER method but Tifa felt pretty darn good about herself as she dusted off her hands in a satisfied motion. A quick look over her shoulder showed no one had stopped to investigate the noise yet but Tifa decided not to push her luck and she hopped over the fallen gate and started down the stairs.

About half way down, Tifa decided Reno, for once in his life, hadn't been exaggerating about how many of these damn stairs there were. By the time she finally got to the bottom her legs were burning and she had always considered herself being in shape. She chased kids around for pity's sake! She didn't have to kick the other gate down. It was just a matter of finding toe holds for her boots and climbing over the fence. Down here things weren't as upkept as they were Above. She jumped down and looked around to orient herself – and the weight of the night finally caught up to her and she had to bend over and rest her hands on her knees, suddenly exhausted and wanting nothing more than a hot bath and the sounds of her brother and sister's voices.

The trip from Sector Five to Sector Seven was a bit of a blur though she roused enough when she went through Sector Six to not walk openly down the streets and once or twice she had to duck low in the shadows until people making low voiced deals finished their business and moved on. She felt like she had cotton in her ears, everyone's words filtering in slowly and not making sense but she kept her head up and kept to the shadows until she suddenly found herself in front of the window she'd climbed out what felt like a lifetime ago. Not remembering the past ten minutes or exactly how she'd gotten there. It took her two tries to get the window open and when she finally did, Barrett's angry face was there to meet her. It changed immediately though when he saw who it was and he reached out and physically hauled her inside. She let him with a smile, not minding the manhandling at all.

He exclaimed over her but she just let the comforting gruff sounds wash over her, still smiling and the smile relaxed and went fuller and more content as she heard Aerith and the children's voices.

"Hot bath" she whispered. "Bed."

Despite all the noise they were making someone must have heard her because the next time she was paying attention Tifa found herself comfortably in the bathtub surrounded by hot water. With a sigh, she relaxed back into it and shut her eyes again.

"You used one of the materia." Aerith's voice and Tifa dragged open a single eyelid to see her friend perched on the edge of the tub with Marlene sitting on the countertop. Tifa smiled.

"The fire. It was – amazing, Aerith. Best feeling in the world…" she shut her eye and reached up to touch her hair. "I should wash this. It probably smells like smoke."

"Among other things" Aerith's voice was soft and Tifa opened an eye again to look questioningly at her friend but Aerith shook her head and moved over to sit at the head of the tub. Poured soap into her hands and began to scrub Tifa's hair. With a content female purr, Tifa sank just a little deeper into the tub and relaxed, hearing Aerith chuckle above her.

"Is anyone else back yet?" she asked and she felt Aerith move slightly and then answer:

"Not yet."

Tifa hummed. She'd worry. As soon as she could pump any emotion into her other than an absolute adoration of hot water and its inventor. Tifa opened an eye and focused on her little sister. Slipped her hand out of the water and held it out, not realizing how bruised it was until Marlene suddenly hopped off the counter and ran over to grab it in both of hers.

"See?" Tifa asked, careful not to wince. Keeping her voice light. "I'm fine. Not even hurt. You and Denzel can stop worrying now."

Marlene sniffed mightily and held Tifa's hand tightly but managed a smile.

"I told Denzel you'd be okay," she stated and it made Tifa laugh.

"Duck" Aerith instructed and Tifa slid forward so she could go under the water and let Aerith's fingers scrub the soap out. After that however the water was dirty and so Tifa stood up and reached for a towel. At which point Marlene had to let go of her hand for just a minute or two. Aerith fussed over Tifa, taking the time to comb her long hair out. Tifa dozed off twice while it was happening and the second time Aerith laughed. Giving her bare shoulders above the towel a gentle push.

"Bed" her best friend instructed and Tifa stood up with a sigh and a nod, wrapping the towel a little more tightly around herself.

"Pajamas?" she asked and Aerith shook her head.

"After we get to the bedroom. You've got some bruises. And cuts. I want to fix them first."

"Nothing's broken" Tifa answered with a smile, feeling a little bit drunk even though she hadn't touched anything. Aerith rolled her eyes and even Marlene smiled.

"Come on" Aerith steered her friend out the door and toward her bedroom. Tifa went with a drowsy smile, bare feet padding on the old wood comfortably. Just before they reached her door, there was the sound of steps on the stairs and Tifa turned her head, pausing to see both Cloud and Leon coming up the stairs with Cid right behind them, looking – well, like hell. But alive. At the moment it was all Tifa had time to pay attention to.

"Hi" she waved a hand, feeling fuzzy but as if everything was right with her world again. For some reason both Leon and Cloud came to abrupt and dead stops, two pairs of light eyes going wide and unblinking.

"Come on" Aerith sounded more amused than anything as she steered Tifa into the bedroom. Just as she shut the door, Tifa very distinctly heard Cid state a:

"Daaaamnn."

"Aerith, why were the guys staring at Tifa?" Marlene asked but Tifa didn't hear the choked, laughing response because she'd seen the bed and, towel still wrapped around her, she simply laid down on her stomach on it and went to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30: The Morning After

_Oh my gentle readers and my best beloveds – sorry this didn't get out sooner. Apparently ffnet was having issues. In the news – Peeka-chan is my new editor and so now all the mistakes in here are entirely my fault and I can't even blame them on my speed reading anymore. Peeka – you make me laugh with your comments and the way you notice the details. Cloud's STILL not managing to pull anything past you, is he? Kueilan!! You're back!! Oh, you make me so happy, I love your chapter by chapter reviews. And, me too. I hate it when a writer's main character can't hold his own against his rivals without his rivals being written as idiots or jerks. I really wanted the readers to be able to root for everyone in this – I'm glad you think I'm doing a decent job of it. And yeah – Squall/Leon and Cloud – cute even unconscious. Zi-ling – there you are! Oh, I'm glad it was you. You're right on the ball ;) How could I resist really? And Horky – oh, your reviews really make my day. Yep, Cid is too much fun to resist writing and yeah, couldn't resist a towel incident. Thanks to all that have told me my world is familiar and yet original – I'm trying to keep it from being predictable (oh, you guys are going to hate me right about chapter 34/35…) But now, without further ado – if ff will let us – on with the show ~_

Chapter 30: The Morning After

Tifa woke up and lay there for a long time without a single thought in her head. She was lying on her stomach - not the most comfortable position for someone with a chest like hers - but not bad. There were bodies piled on top of hers and as she squinted her eye open and turned her head a little she could see Denzel's rust colored hair and the corner of an elbow in Marlene's favorite pajamas and a glimpse of the back of Aerith's head was just visible. Tifa's face relaxed into a smile and she lay where she was for a long time, just soaking in the feel of the moment. Finally she wiggled her way out of the pile, reluctant but starving. Her throat felt raw and her fingers and legs throbbed a little. Reaching into her drawer, she pulled out the warmest shirt she could find and long pants. Peeking out to make sure the hallway was empty she walked over to the bathroom and changed as she got ready for the day. Feeling vaguely more human but needing coffee and food to complete the transformation, she padded back out into the house, feet clad in thick socks to stay warm and headed toward the kitchen. Stopping by the bedroom, she left her pajamas neatly folded inside it. She noticed Yuffie was asleep on the mattress, and wondered when that had happened. Last night was still a bit blurry in her head.

Cloud and, surprisingly Shera, were sitting at the table in the kitchen when she walked in and Cloud's head turned towards the sound as she opened the door to walk in. His blue eyes focused on her face for an instant and then he was quickly looking back down at the coffee mug in his hands and Tifa thought for a second his cheeks had gone pink. She blinked in puzzlement.

O-kay... Giving Shera a friendly nod, Tifa walked over to the coffee pot and stretched up to get a mug from the cabinet. She really needed to start using the mugs out in the bar. All the mugs she usually used were down on the drying rack and all she had left were way up on the top shelf. It made her shirt inch up as she caught at one with her fingertips. Cloud's chair grated as he pushed it back from the table abruptly and, mumbling something intelligible, he disappeared out the door. Tifa turned her head to see him rubbing the back of his head a second before the door shut. And then Shera hunched forward over her own mug and started to laugh.

And right about then, it hit Tifa like someone smacking her on the back of the head.

Towel!

She'd been in a towel the last time he'd seen her! Her eyes went wide and the heat flushed through her entire face and throat. Oh. Oh! He and Leon – and she'd only been in a towel… oh. oh, crap! Tifa almost dropped her mug and turned around to look at Shera in horror. Sure, her 'Rita' outfit hadn't covered much more than a well-wrapped towel but – oh, a towel was entire different than being fully clothed!

"You know?" she asked Shera in horror and the other woman grinned.

"I saw," she answered. "I was coming out of your dad's room just as you were disappearing into your room. I couldn't get a cognizant sentence out of Leon for a good ten minutes. Though – to his credit – he was trying."

Tifa winced and made a pained sound. Shera shook her head and smiled.

"Don't worry about it. If I had a body like yours I'd be wearing a heck of a lot less than you do all the time."

"No, you wouldn't," Tifa poured herself a cup of coffee and took Cloud's vacated chair, on more familiar footing talking to other women about her figure than dealing with the fact that guys she considered friends had – what? Realized she was a girl? She shook her head.

"You'd get tired of guys staring at your chest all the time and you'd always be suspicious about why they were being friendly. Because they liked your personality or your – " she cocked a good-natured eyebrow, "other assets."

Shera giggled.

"Is it really that bad?"

Tifa shrugged with a smile and shook her head.

"Depends on what I'm wearing. But I haven't been worried about it with any of the guys that are staying here. It's been nice."

Shera smiled.

"They're all good boys. Even yours."

Tifa nodded cheerfully and then blinked.

"You mean Denzel, right?"

Shera started to laugh again. "You're adorable," Shera told her fondly. She waved a small hand toward the door Cloud had just gone out as she took a laughing sip of her tea. "Both of you."

Tifa glanced toward the door and decided it was safer to sip her coffee than try to respond. Shera looked at her through her glasses as the laughter slowly faded.

"So – how did it go last night?"

Tifa looked up and thought she saw a hint of sympathy in the other woman's brown eyes. She gave a weak smile and wrapped her fingers more firmly around the heat of the coffee mug.

"We did it," she answered even though the other woman probably already knew that. Her shoulders moved and she looked down into her coffee. "It wasn't – at all what I'd expected." Mentally, Tifa was still sorting through everything and she wasn't sure if it would ever fit into neat little boxes she could label as one thing or another. Shera nodded.

"I remember my first run. It was – I don't think anything really prepares you for that kind of thing and all the confusing emotions that hit you at the end."

Tifa tipped her head as she looked at the other woman.

"How did you end up doing this?" she asked and Shera looked down at her mug, cheeks staining pink. It seemed to be the morning for that kind of thing.

"I – I was a scientist. In the space program Shinra was trying to start. The Captain – Cid - was a pilot and he was going to be the first man to ever make it to space. I think it had been his dream since before he was born. Everyone knew it. Everyone knew his entire life had been working toward that single point."

She paused and Tifa, bartender that she was, knew better than to interrupt. Shera shrugged a shoulder and stared at her tea.

"I – I thought something was wrong with the spaceship. I went in to check it out. Just before launch. I just – I **knew **something was wrong. You know?" she asked and Tifa nodded as the other woman looked at her in equal mixes of despair and fierce certainty. "The countdown was running and we were going to miss the window but – I was sure. So I didn't leave when they wanted me to. The Captain could have gone anyway but the heat from the rocket would have killed me. He'd – he'd wanted the stars all his life. It was all he ever wanted. But – he stopped the countdown. For me. And then Shinra decided not to try again. They thought that there were better ways to invest their money and resources. The Captain lost the stars. Because of me."

Tifa reached across the table and laid her hand over the other woman's and Shera raised her head to give her a small smile.

"The Captain will never forgive me but I – I need to make it up to him. So when he joined Leon – so did I." She shook her head and looked back down at her drink. "Since then I've seen what Shinra does and covers up with their money and their sharp suits and – I'd do what I do anyway. But I started for The Captain."

Tifa thought of the way Cid had refused to leave Shera's side while she'd been hurt and suspected that the emotions Cid held for the small woman went a bit far off of 'unforgiveness'. She just gave Shera's hand a light squeeze though. Who was she to talk about relationships?

"Uh" the sound from the door had Tifa lifting her head to see Leon hovering in the doorway, looking awkward. It was the first time she thought she'd ever seen him that way. He rubbed the lobe of his ear and he couldn't seem to meet Tifa's eyes. "Is this girl stuff? Should I come back later?"

It made Tifa smile, which helped with the heat she felt automatically on her cheeks, and she stood up, giving Shera a wink as she pulled her own retreat in a way she hoped would smooth things over.

"No. We're done. I'm going to make breakfast."

It turned out to be a very late lunch. Not because Tifa was making sandwiches – she made eggs anyway – but because of the time of day. Apparently they'd all slept hard and long. Leon sat at the table while Tifa chopped vegetables and added them to the eggs she was scrambling on the stove in a giant pan. Shera sat with him and Leon ran through the basics of their mission for her, relaxing as he talked and finally able to look at Tifa without turning red.

He left out the lab and overblew Tifa's part as far as Tifa could tell. Apparently, after Cloud had seen her escape through the lower hallway, the rest of them had made a break for the motorpool and ridden out in a military issue car. No one had even thought to stop them. They'd gone back to the outside crowd to keep an eye out for Tifa but they'd had to leave when more soldiers and the Turks started showing up. They'd picked up their disguises and ridden the train back down from Sector Six.

Then it was Tifa's turn to tell her part of the story while she added cheese to the eggs and started serving them. By then, everyone had wandered in. Tifa was vague about the SOLDIER, referring to him as 'this guy' and left out the dead scientist entirely. When she mentioned the stairs at the pillar, Leon started to grin.

"Clever," he complimented her and Cloud quietly stated:

"I told you she was."

Tifa flashed them both a bright grin as she set their plates down in front of them. Leon looked up at her as he chewed the first bite.

"You used materia," he commented and Cloud, Shera and Yuffie all looked up and over at her in surprise.

"Not very well," Tifa admitted, piling her own plate of food high now that everyone else was served. Leon stood up so she could take his seat at the table but she shook her head at him and leaned her back against the counter while she ate. Half of the group was doing the same, with Leon, Aerith, and the two kids at the table.

"You've got materia?" Yuffie blurted and Cloud shot her a level look. Tifa lowered her head.

"It's not really mine. I just – borrowed it."

"Do they know you 'borrowed' it?"

"Yuffie." Cloud's single word stopped the girl from going further.

"You used it amazingly well," Leon said, getting back to the subject. "For a single burst you waited until everyone was trapped and you set off a pretty big blast when you did fire it off. Are you used to using materia?"

"That was my first," Tifa admitted cheerfully.

"Isn't it a rush?" Yuffie didn't deflate for long and it made Tifa stifle a laugh.

"It was fun," she admitted. Leon looked thoughtful.

"Do you think you could 'borrow' more if we needed it?"

Tifa was very careful not to look at Aerith.

"I think that was it."

Still, Leon nodded.

"It was still impressive. We'll have to make it a point to get you some more."

"More?" Tifa asked, thinking of the cost on the market for the tiny globes. Leon grinned suddenly at her and went back to eating.

"It does show up naturally in some places too, you know. And we're not above 'borrowing' from Shinra ourselves if we need something. We'll see."

After that everyone concentrated on eating for a long time and then Leon and Aerith washed the dishes while Tifa went up to check on her father. He roused briefly, just enough to complain that she hadn't been there last night and that Barrett was terrible at fluffing pillows. It was her father's version of a joke and it made her smile even as the tears clogged in her throat as she noticed how thin he looked and how quickly he fell back asleep afterward.

Cloud was waiting for her in the hallway when she let herself out of the room. She gave him a tired smile of greeting and he pushed away from the wall to walk over and looked down at her. As close as he was she could almost imagine she felt the warmth of him and she started to lower her head before he could see in her eyes how badly she just wanted to be wrapped in that warmth. He reached down and lifted her chin however, and – even though she noticed pink on his cheeks – his eyes were very serious as they searched her face. Looking, she realized, for physical damage.

"I'm fine," she murmured and his eyes moved to hers.

"They can't know you were there," his voice was low. Determined. "If they see marks on you, someone might put everything together."

It made the smile bloom tiredly on her lips again and she softened. She'd already thought of that – but it was sweet and intimate that Cloud had worried about the same thing she had. Without thinking about it, her hands rose and rested against the steady warmth of his shirt.

"My hands are the only thing anyone can see when I'm dressed this way. I'm going to say I broke a crate of beer and cut them on the glass."

"Are you going to make Barrett clean it up again?" he asked and when her eyebrows rose, the edges of his lips shifted upward. "He might have been griping cheerfully about it the other day."

It pulled a soft chuckle out of her and she saw the light rise – and then fade in his eyes. Without being able to understand why she could feel it, she could feel him start to withdraw from her. Without even moving. Her fingers tightened on his shirt.

"Remember our promise?" she asked and he looked down at her, puzzled and she knew it was that she even had to ask, not over what promise she was talking about. His chin moved, a single nod. Looking up at him, into those beautiful tropic eyes of his, she whispered:

"I think I need - would like - a hug? If – you - wanted to." She stumbled over the words but – what she saw in his eyes – did he really think - ? – actions spoke louder than any words in her family…

His face softened and warmth moved into his eyes in such a slow wash that it set a matching heat through her chest. His arms slipped around her and pulled her close in against him and Tifa couldn't help the soft whisper of relief that escaped her as she felt his warmth surround her, as she felt his solid, steady form cradle her. The exhale she let out seemed to go on forever and her body just seemed to entirely unwind in the safety of his.

"I don't care" she whispered it into his shoulder but she knew he heard by the way he stiffened. "You're Cloud. That's all that matters." Did he really think anything she'd seen in that lab changed anything at all between them? "You're Cloud." She felt the way his arms tightened almost painfully around her to pull her even deeper into him.

'My Cloud' she added to herself as she snuggled in against his chest and held his shirt tightly in her bruised fingers. Admitting to herself what she'd already known and told herself she wasn't going to do. God, help her… she was falling in love with Cloud Strife.

She didn't know how long she stood that way, completely lost in the warm and wonderful feel of him as he leaned back against the wall and she leaned into him. She'd been wrong…

Materia wasn't the best feeling in the world…

Finally she drew back, just a little. Just enough to raise her face to him. His cerulean eyes were already open and watching her and she gave him a soft smile that he returned without thought.

"Just in time," she whispered up at him and watched the smile on his face grow, looking as young and shadowless as his eyes. Careful to keep one arm secure around her, he raised his other hand to hesitantly brush the hair back from her face and she smiled at him when he did.

"Tifa" Barrett's voice came from down the stairs. "You want me to open the bar, girl? You got customers nosing at the door."

"No," she turned her head so she didn't call it into Cloud's ear. "I'll be right down. And Barrett – could you grumble about having to clean up the crate of beer I dropped on the cellar steps today when you're in the bar?"

It was silent at the foot of the stairs for a minute and then a chuckle sounded.

"Sure, baby girl."

Tifa looked back up at Cloud and gave him a smile.

"Time for you to climb out the window," she teased and for just a split second, a grin opened up the light of his face. Pulling away from him, Tifa went down the stairs – feeling light and full of life again, and yet soft and full of a wonderful secret. Having no idea what that soft light in her eyes did to the hearts of more than one of the men waiting outside that she greeted them with a cheerful smile as she unlocked the bar and flipped the sign to announce it was open.

She was just finishing passing out the first round when Cloud let himself in the front door with an embarrassed duck of his head and silently made his way to the stool at the far side of the bar to take up his usual place. Stifling a smile, Tifa silently served him his usual drink and went back to work, very aware of the quiet blue eyes that watched her as she made her rounds.


	31. Chapter 31: In the Dark

Chapter 31: In the Dark

The repercussions for the second lost mako reactor occurred quickly. Halfway through the night, Tifa's bar lost its power. There was only a flickering of the lights as warning before suddenly the entire room was plunged into absolute darkness. This was followed by a second of silence as at least half of the patrons in the bar wondered if they'd drunk more than they thought and finally passed out. Then the noise started, but Tifa's crowd wasn't an excitable crowd and so the noises consisted mostly of annoyed curses and the sound of people carefully trying to find their drinks without knocking them over in the dark. From the fact she only heard two distinct sounds of glass breaking on the floor, Tifa thought they'd done pretty good.

Power outages weren't exactly uncommon in the slums. Even with all of the reactors all running, the slums were the last place Shinra bothered direct the power to and the conduits that they used to do so were second hand and in bad repair. Sometimes it was a flicker and sometimes it was a couple of hours.

"First person I catch trying to sneak out the door without paying is getting a boot in the nose," Tifa announced cheerfully to the patrons and got chuckles and groans in response. They all knew the drill. Going by feel, Tifa slid her hands along the bar's edge until she found the nick in it and began to slide her hands down. A hand found her hip just as she was starting to lean down and she jumped. Another hand moved in the way and kept her from banging the top of her head on the bottom of the bar's lip.

"Just me." Cloud's quiet voice and she shot him a glare she knew he couldn't see.

"You do that on purpose, don't you, Strife?" she asked and heard his exhaled chuckle. His arm slipped around her waist and drew her upright and back against him. Snuggling in the dark? Tifa couldn't say it didn't sound like a really good idea… and the dark hid her blush when she thought that - but she was pretty sure that wasn't what was on Cloud's mind.

"What were you looking for?" he confirmed her thought as someone started a pretty rude drinking song, thinking they were secure in the cover of darkness. Tifa recognized the singer's voice however and was just about to call him on it when two other voices joined in.

"Candles," she gestured pointlessly in the dark. "Second drawer down." Despite the fact he couldn't possibly see anything, she felt him nod once against her, the brush of his hair against the side of her face giving it away. Giving her waist a gentle squeeze to tell her to stay put he let go of her and Tifa was suddenly standing alone in the dark feeling cold. Reflexively she rubbed at her arm with her other hand. And then felt a gloved hand close over her loose one from much further down.

Was Cloud down on his heels?

How had he found her hand without fumbling if he couldn't see?

"Biggs, I'm telling Amy you know the words to this song" she remarked and one of the many voices now singing the chorus faltered slightly. Laughter punctuated the verse. Cloud's hand gave hers a light squeeze in the dark and she smiled down at him automatically before realizing he couldn't see it. Could he? Entirely unrelated, she realized she was fighting the ridiculous urge to reach out and stroke his hair.

She'd probably poke him in the nose if she tried it in the dark right now though. The drawer made a noise as it opened and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Matches are right ne- "

"I've got them," Cloud's voice was calm and she heard the sound of a match striking. Light flared, small and brief, and she caught the glint of it in Cloud's blue eyes, gold and blue –

and green –

He lit one of the thick white candles and handed it up to her, filling her world with warmth and golden light. When she had it, he finally let go of her hand to set the almost burned out match to the next candle.

"All right, boys." Tifa set the first candle on the counter. "Anyone's who's staying, come get a candle for your table. Anyone that's going home, drop your money on the way past."

The crowd in the bar thinned a little as some men went home to their families but drinking by candlelight wasn't a new experience to anyone and quite a few of her regular patrons stayed. Cloud lit candles and passed them up to her until every table had one and two burned bright and cheerful on the bar. He got more than one curious glance as the patrons came over to collect their candles and saw where, or rather who, Tifa was getting them from. Cloud didn't seem to notice but by now Tifa thought she knew a little bit about his personality and she thought he noticed and just pretended not to.

"Upstairs?" he asked her and she shook her head with a smile as she took the last candle from him.

"Used to it. But they'll use it as an excuse to stay up later."

He nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah. Aerith seems the type to do that," he agreed so calmly and naturally that it took Tifa a split second to realize he was joking with her. It surprised a laugh out of her and he smiled, a flash of light itself, at the noise, aqua eyes relaxed as he straightened to his full height. For just a minute, in his dark clothes with his golden hair and the dark and candlelight – Tifa knew she'd never seen such a beautiful man.

Even if you weren't supposed to think men were 'beautiful'.

On the other side of the bar, the drunken song fell apart as everyone remembered a different fourth verse and all tried to sing it at the same time. It made Tifa smile. They only sang when the lights were off. She thought a little of it was the shadows that helped give them a bit of anonominity, a little bit of it was the drunkenness – but Tifa suspected it was their natural response to having adversity thrown at them too. In the slums you either fought or you gave up and died. Tifa's patrons on the whole were the kind that would spit in the eye of death even while they were dying. Singing in the dark was just their defiance.

Even if it was off tune, drunken singing.

_Tie Me Chocobo Down, Mate_ was the next song volunteered and Tifa hummed along with it as she collected glasses for Cloud to wash in the sink. While he did, she got the broom and a rag and cleaned up the broken glasses from when the lights had died first. She got a bit of help with that, drunken and clumsy as it was, and it wasn't as if it were the first time she'd had alcohol spilled on her barroom floor.

It beat blood any day…

_The Beer's Here, Get It In Gear_ followed the chocobo song and after that it degenerated into three different versions of _The Drunken Miner_. Tifa caught Cloud watching it all and the look on his face… it was that little boy look again. The one politely standing outside watching everyone else inside and both curious and a bit confused by what he was seeing. Moving back behind the bar she slipped a hand around his upper arm and leaned against it and he looked down at her questioning. She only shook her head and then rested it against his shoulder and after a minute Cloud went back to watching the men singing.

That lasted until someone started on the _It's Business Time_ song and that's when Tifa moved forward to start shooing them out of her building with laughter. The streets outside were dark and so she made sure everyone was going out in pairs or larger groups. Drunk as they were, she wanted to make sure no one took advantage of them. Johnny was the last to leave and he looked curiously at Cloud, who was back in his usual spot at the end of the bar. Tifa gave him a smile and a nod.

"Make sure you get Wedge home all right," she instructed and Johnny nodded and gave her a shy smile before pulling on his coat and ducking out the door. Tifa pulled it shut behind him and locked it, flipping the sign and then starting to walk around the tables, blowing out the candles as she went. Cloud, sitting on his stool, watched her and it was a comfortable silence. Finally, only the two candles on the bar itself were still lit and Tifa moved over and blew out the first one. Looked over at Cloud and saw him watching her contentedly. Content… she felt that way too in this moment.

"Living without mako-powered lights might not be so bad," she commented and the edges of his lips shifted upward.

"Tonight was nice," he agreed quietly. She paused over the last candle and looked at him, barely visible now in the darkness and candle shadow. Suspecting…

Eyes on his, she blew out the candle.

The world went dark again and Tifa stood where she was, back against the edge of the bar. Waiting. Outside the dim sounds of the slums filtered in but it was muted and far away from the silent room. The dark didn't scare Tifa, it never had, and her eyes moved in it, looking from memory around the room she was in. Unable to actually see a thing, she was just starting to wonder if she'd been wrong – guessed wrong about Cloud earlier – when she heard a sound directly in front of her. She'd felt him a second before she'd heard that single footstep though and even in the dark, she could tell when one of his hands settled on the bar on either side of her. Blind with her eyes open, she raised her face and gave him a smile.

"I thought so."

"One of the side effects," his voice was soft to match the darkness and only just a little above her.

"Is walking silently a side effect too?" Reaching out just a little, her fingers found the fabric of his sleeves and felt the warm skin of his arms underneath as she rested her hands there.

"No," there was just the smallest amount of amusement in his voice. "That's training."

She nodded. And then crossed her eyes at him in the dark. Heard his stifled laughter and smiled.

"Your eyes don't glow. I thought I'd seen them glow before."

"SOLDIERs wouldn't be much good if you could spot them in the dark because they had to open their eyes to see," his voice was logical, not defensive. Tifa was glad. She wanted to be able to talk to him, ask him, and not worry about it making him withdraw. She didn't ask because she thought it was frightening or marked him out as anything other than Cloud, she asked because she was curious. "They reflect light though. Like cat eyes. Even small amounts of it."

That made sense and she nodded again. In the dark, she could almost feel him smile.

"My turn," he said and she raised her eyes to look at him expectantly. Not able to imagine anything in her life half as interesting as what she had questions about in his. In the darkness she could feel him shift closer and her hands on his arms slid up to almost his shoulders.

"Does everyone love you?"

His throaty voice was soft when he asked it and very, very close in the dark. For just a moment, Tifa wasn't sure she'd heard him right, brain refusing to work past the skip of her heart. Then she had to pause and think about her answer, brows coming down.

"Not really," she picked her words carefully. Trying to put into sound what had only been feelings in her heart before. "I'm – familiar. Most of the men have known me for years. I pay attention to them and I don't judge them. They like the way it makes them feel about themselves. I make them feel important. Because everyone is but not a lot of people down here remember that. With me they get to smile and forget their problems for a little while. It's not me they love, it's the way they feel when they're here. It's the way I make them feel just because I pay attention."

It was silent in the darkness for a long moment and she could feel Cloud sifting through what she'd said. After a long minute, his voice quietly stated:

"You make me feel important."

It made her soften and she smiled at the man she couldn't see.

"Good," she whispered.

It was quiet between them again, Cloud's arms warm against her sides as his hands stayed on the bar. Her hands almost on his shoulders but stopped just a little way down his arms instead. Almost an embrace – not an embrace. But warm – so warm and Tifa decided she loved the dark. Cloud exhaled slow and she felt the warm brush of it against her lashes and the top of her nose.

"Tifa… who makes you feel important?"

It was a soft sound in the dark and for a long moment Tifa just enjoyed the way that felt too. Then she opened her eyes she hadn't realized she had closed and looked up at where she knew his face was. Her lips curved up in a soft smile.

"The people I love. Being around them makes me feel important." He waited in the dark and so, after a moment, she named them off for him.

"Marlene and Denzel," the names were magic whispers in the night, full of warmth and love as they slipped out of her heart and across her tongue. "Aerith. Barrett. My father." Summoning up all her courage, brave in the dark even though it sent heat pouring across her face, she forced herself to add in a whisper:

"You…"

The muscles under her hands moved and she could feel the heat of him as he stepped forward. The small of her back pressed into the bar but it was all right because Cloud was in front of her and solid and warm and being pressed up against him felt like heaven even if it did make her palms tingle and her stomach go funny. She wished they'd left a candle burning – because she wanted to see his face…

"What about Leon?"

She did search for his face in the dark then, at his quiet question, but there was no hint of blue in the dark.

"Leon too," she agreed. Shook her head a little. "But not the same way."

He made a noise in the dark, a soft, barely there sound low in his throat and she felt shivers across her scalp as his fingers moved through the stands of her hair that had fallen across the top of the bar and his hands. Then his hands slipped down and found her hips. Tugged gently.

"Come on," his voice was soft in the dark. "We should go upstairs now."

He stepped back and she let him draw her along through the night, his hands sliding down her arms to find her hands and lead her. She couldn't see a thing. She could walk through the bar from memory easily and did it all the time. She still let him lead her though, trusting completely as she followed him through the dark.

Tomorrow she'd go back to being practical and level headed. Tonight… tonight she'd follow him anywhere, just as long as he was holding her hands…


	32. Chapter 32: Puzzles

_have so been watching MjOoPi's 'Never Too Late' vid over on YouTube to get into the right mood for this. That's right – I'm advertising for her – cause I enjoy her Cloud/Tifa vids just that much._

Chapter 32: Puzzles

When Tifa woke up the next morning, the section of the slums she lived in was still without power. Making breakfast became a challenge in creativity – which meant cereal for everyone in the end. There weren't any complaints however and the kids were thrilled to be allowed to eat their sugar cereal on a day that wasn't the weekend. Tifa noticed with an inward snicker that both Leon and Cloud also gravitated toward the sugar cereal and left the 'adult' cereal to everyone else.

With no power there was no school, which thrilled the kids. Cloud had left just after breakfast to take his sister to a working train station. Apparently, Yuffie was going back to Wutai. Tifa found she was going to miss the girl and her energy but she understood that things weren't exactly going to get safer in the slums now and Yuffie would be better off somewhere else. She would have offered to go to the station too but – she suspected Cloud wanted the time with his sister to himself. Yuffie probably did too. So Tifa just packed a bag with lunch for the trip for the other girl, got several enthusiastic hugs, and made her promise to keep in touch. She suspected that Marlene and Denzel already would.

After she'd seen the two siblings out the door, Tifa cleaned up the bar from the night before and had a lot of willing hands to make it go easier. When the bottom of the house was spotless and her father was sleeping soundly again, Tifa went to the upstairs closet and got down the giant photographic nature books for Marlene and Aerith to go over and discuss. She also pulled down board games and puzzles for everyone else. It took a bit of coaxing but soon Shera was trouncing Cid at Shoots and Ladders and Barrett had fallen into the trap of playing Sorry with Denzel. Tifa paused long enough to watch Denzel starting go more cutthroat and merciless on Barrett than a pirate on a fat tax collector. Tifa just shook her head in sympathy and then she went upstairs to clean the rooms while everyone was out of them. Leon followed her and leaned in the doorway as she started to strip down the sheets on the bed in the kid's room. Which had become the 'guys room'. Tifa didn't know who slept on the only mattress but the sheets didn't smell like Cloud.

"Do you always do this?" Leon asked, stepping forward to take the sheets from her arms so she could tuck new ones onto the bed and she looked curiously at him. He gestured with a hand, careful not to lose his grip on the material. "Distract everyone else with happy stuff and then go and do all the work?"

It made her laugh and she shook her head at him.

"Giving you 'happy stuff' is the only way to get you out from under my feet long enough to do any work."

Leon smiled and let her pile the collection of sheets and blankets from the makeshift beds around the room into his arms while she laid out new ones. Cloud apparently slept nearest the door. She could smell that faint clean, windy, lightening smell on the pillow when she picked up it to change its cover.

"I don't get how you're still single," Leon stated as she piled the last set of sheets in his arms and she gave him a dry look from the corners of her eyes.

"Have you seen the way I live?" she asked and he smiled but his eyes were serious.

"I mean it, Tifa. You and Aerith both. You shine like raw materia down here. I'm not complaining – just pointing out you've apparently got an entire Sector of blind men."

Tifa smoothed a hand over Cloud's pillow as she set it back down and looked at Leon. Pressed her lips together as she thought about how to answer.

"Aerith – had someone. Once. A long time ago." He'd left her. Disappeared without a word and to this day Tifa didn't know if Aerith was waiting for someone she could love as much as she'd loved him – or if she was still waiting for him. That had been before Tifa had known her but once a year the usually responsible Aerith got herself smashed drunk. Tifa always made sure it was with her and it was the only time Aerith would talk about why. Tifa wasn't going to share that with anyone else though. That was Aerith's.

"What about you?" Leon asked and Tifa gave him a sideways look, gently teasing.

"I grow an extra head every full moon and chew up other people's slippers."

"Not going to tell me?"

Tifa shrugged and went into the hall to get the broom and dustbin.

"Nothing to tell. No heartbreaks, no lost loves, nothing of interest at all. Being single has just always worked for me."

Leon dropped the sheets in the hallway where she pointed and then came into the room to lift things out of the way so Tifa could sweep the floor easier.

"What if you found something that worked better than being single?" he asked and Tifa decided it was time to change the subject. She shook her head and he nodded in response. After a moment, she couldn't help but ask though:

"What about you? Why are you still single?"

He was quiet for a very long time after that and Tifa didn't rush to fill the silence, the sound of the broom and the muffled sound of Barrett yelling at Cid 'to watch his fucking language there are kids here' floating up the stairs. Finally Leon set down the end of the bed and rested a hand on it, turning his face to look out the window.

"I – lost someone. To Shinra. At first all I wanted was revenge. Later – it just got to be a habit, being alone." He shrugged. "It 'worked for me' too."

Gentle, Tifa reached out and rested a hand on his arm and he raised his other hand to lay it over hers, giving her a tired smile.

"It's all right," he told her softly. "I realized you can live your life and it's not a betrayal of the people you've lost. Took a while – but I figured it out."

She gave his arm a light squeeze and then let go so that she could sweep the dirt into the dust pan.

She understood. In a way. Her father wasn't dead. But he was dying – and a part of him, the part that Tifa had known as a child – that part of him was long dead. Nothing now but a memory with worn edges. Sometimes – she felt guilty for wishing that memory was real and her reality wasn't. Other times she realized if she felt any other way something would be wrong with her.

"So that's why you fight Shinra?" she asked and Leon followed her into the 'girls' room', holding out his arms so she could fill them with the sheets she stripped off mattresses there.

"At first. I joined because of her. I knew it was the right thing to do but I could have left. After – well, it was about revenge. It still is, in a way. But I've seen so many horrible things that Shinra's done since then – I couldn't quit now even if I wanted to. It's too important. Someone has to stand against them come what may."

"Win or lose?" Tifa asked softly, turning her head to look at him. Because alone they could admit it. Shinra was huge. It controlled the world and the people it had working its whims were so many more than the small group that Tifa's house sheltered. Leon's grey eyes met hers over the sheets in his arms and his smile was sad. But he didn't lie to her.

"Win or lose," he agreed softly.

Tifa gave him a soft nod – it wasn't anything she hadn't realized already – and then she gave him an equally soft smile.

"Winning is important. Knowing you _did_ something is even more important. Shinra's lost two reactors so far. I'm not planning my retirement yet."

It made him laugh, which is what she'd wanted and he shifted a shoulder.

"They're certainly wearing a pretty obvious black eye, aren't they?"

"Yep" Tifa agreed as she gestured for him to dump the sheets with the other pile and started sweeping. "Though you could have done this in the summer. A working heater would have been nice."

"If it wouldn't make it obvious, I'd get Cid to see what he could rig for you."

"Ask him anyway," Tifa suggested. Met Leon's eyes. "Pretty soon we're going to have to do without Shinra power anyway, right?"

His face softened and so did the look he gave her.

"Yeah," he agreed, voice a soft rumble, setting down the chair he'd picked up for her so he could move closer and look down at her. His hand closed over the broom she was holding. "Tifa – "

"Tifa!"

Marlene bounded into the room and Tifa's eyebrows went up slightly. Marlene, as full of energy as she was, rarely 'bounded'. But she was bounding now and that meant, Tifa thought as Marlene enthusiastically threw her arms around Tifa's waist and literally knocked her backward a bit with the energy, that Marlene had either gotten into the sugar – again – or she was up to something. The a little too 'young and innocent' look in her little sister's eyes had Tifa leaning mentally toward 'up to something' and she raised an eyebrow at her. Marlene just grinned back at her.

"Aerith wants to go to her church. You should go with her."

It sobered – and distracted Tifa from her suspicions – immediately. If her own block was any indication, the slums would be rolling brown outs. And you had to pass through Sector Six to get to Aerith's church in Sector Five. Not to mention the monsters that lurked in between the Sectors in the trash and ruins that marked the borders.

"I wanted to go too but she said me and Denzel should stay here." Something about Marlene's story was starting to ring a little 'off' to Tifa – though not her friend not taking the children out into the wild neighborhood with her.

"Uh huh," she stated, remark carefully noncommittal. A sure sign to Marlene that she wasn't buying it. Marlene just looked at her and something in her little sister's brown eyes was smug. About to lay down a card she knew would win her the game.

"Cloud's back. He said he would go with her. But they don't know the kinds of flowers I like and so I hoped you'd go too so you could bring some back for me. I want to make downstairs pretty."

Tifa narrowed her eyes at her little sister.

Only lilies grew in Aerith's church. Two colors. It wasn't as if it would exactly be hard for Marlene to tell them which color she preferred. Marlene, arms still around her waist, raised her face and gave Tifa the most practiced – and devastating – puppy eyes she'd ever managed to this point. It immediately made Tifa's heart turn to mush as Marlene threw in a childish:

"Pleeeeeeeeese" for good measure.

Marlene wanted flowers. What was a trip through three dangerous sectors during black out time and across two borders full of hungry monsters compared to the fact her little sister wanted flowers?

Even as Tifa's heart thought it, her brain clicked in and pointed out Marlene didn't want flowers.

She wanted Tifa to go out with Cloud and Aerith. Either to get rid of her so evil could be hatched without her presence or because she thought Tifa should be with Cloud and Aerith no matter where they went. Tifa looked down into her baby sister's eyes.

"Flowers," she repeated and Marlene nodded with a brilliant grin.

"I'll come too," Leon offered and Marlene turned on him in a swirl.

"No! No, you've got to stay." Marlene's face grew more relaxed and serious at the same time as she nodded. "That's right. You have to stay because I need your help for a secret and Tifa can't be around for it. A good secret," she added hastily so Tifa wouldn't insist on staying to thwart it. Tifa met Leon's eyes over Marlene's head and shrugged. The children wouldn't do anything terrible to him… too terrible to him.

"Barrett can't help?" she asked Marlene and Marlene turned and gave her a 'you're messing everything up!' look that spoke volumes of plots being developed and older sisters being kept in the dark.

"No" Marlene explained slowly. "Cause of his arm. The cold hurts where the skin and the metal are together. So I can't ask him to use his arm and I need somebody who can use their arms."

Which was true – and no less suspicious. But Tifa nodded. Sometimes she had to abandon herself to the children. And Marlene was determined.

"All right," Tifa swept the rest of the dust into the pan and dumped it in the trash. "But you and Denzel need to bring all that laundry down to the basement and put it in piles in front of the wash. I'm not going to have guests walking past it and embarrassing me."

"Okay," Marlene agreed readily and Tifa figured, whatever she had planned, she must want it very badly. Setting the broom and pan back in the hall closet, Tifa gave Leon a grin as Marlene caught his arm to drag him over to a corner and went downstairs. Where she discovered Denzel was in on whatever the plot was, because he was already holding her coat for her. She gave him a dry look and he blinked back innocently – though not as convincingly as Marlene. She leaned down to kiss him on the cheek and he confirmed his compliance in the plot by not self-consciously moving away because there were other people in the room.

"I know you and Marlene are up to something," she murmured low in his ear as she kissed his cheek. "And if it's evil – there will be retribution. Of the dire kind."

Denzel tipped his hand. His eyes darted to Cloud who was standing in the doorway, still in his own jacket. Tifa's eyes went huge. Cloud? Cloud was in on the evil? Her eyes narrowed down at the innocent looking blond and she straightened, ruffling Denzel's hair with her hand.

"Okay," she looked at her friend who was standing next to Cloud in the doorway. Aerith could pull 'innocent' on epic levels but right now she was just looking happy and a little bit confused. Tifa's eyes moved to Cloud and saw he was watching her. Not looking at her – _watching_ her. Calmly, patiently – and, perhaps she was getting paranoid – with just the whisper of a glint in his eyes. She slipped into her jacket and Denzel solemnly handed her gloves to her.

Oh. He was in so much trouble when she figured this out. Her eyes never left Cloud's however. And yes – yes, there was now defiantly laughter in the depths of that impossible blue.

"All right" Tifa felt like she was a knight going into battle as she pulled on her gloves. Flashing Cloud a bright smile. Confident there was nothing he could throw at her she couldn't handle. "Let's go."


	33. Chapter 33: Materia Things

_okay - I have barricaded myself behind several large bookcases in preparation, gentle readers. I just have - do your worst. On to my best beloveds - Dis - thanks for the info. I was just going off of the group picture at the end of AC. Now I've got stats. Zi-ling - I'm so pleased it worked. I try not to be heavy handed or carried away with the mush but its so much fun to write sometimes I worry. Someone made me laugh by calling it 'full throttle Cloti in a bar of unaware drunks'. It was fun to write and I'm glad it was fun to read. Speaking of which - Cloti22 - where are you? (said to Scooby Doo theme). I have no one to hold hands with when I jump around and squee. Don't worry, I missed my other best beloveds too but I know last week FF was a bit wonky and people's time to review is limited. Speaking of which, Peeka-chan - yeah, Cloud's humor - or entire lack thereof. I can' tell you how happy the comments you sprinkle in with your editing of my stuff makes me feel - let's just say I couldn't stop smiling and my sister kept wandering over to see why I was rotating between giggling and cackling and 'awwww'ing. Which bring me to Echobrain - oh. wow. I am such a big fan of your stuff and it makes me happy like a little puppy to have you say you like mine (actually calling this story a 'bad boy' literally made my day.) And look - you showed up just in time! Never fear, I too have fallen victim to the 'wait? what? what do you mean there's no more coming?' fics and I won't do that. For you I will end this on the mention that I was so amazing tempted to have one of the guys use Jayne's infamous: 'I'll be in my bunk' after the towel incident._

Chapter 33: Materia Things

It was cold outside but not as cold as it had been. Just a break in the weather. Tifa didn't think for a minute that winter was loosening its grip so early in the year. Cloud had his gloved hands in his coat pockets and looked relaxed and harmless. As harmless as a man with a giant sword strapped across the back of his shoulders could look. Aerith danced over to Tifa and rubbed her hands together for warmth more than in evil glee.

"So what's going on?" she asked cheerfully and Tifa had to chuckle.

"Ask him," she gestured with her chin as she stuck her hands in her coat pockets. And discovered… With knit brows she pulled her fighting gloves out of her coat pocket. Her eyes lifted to find Cloud already looking at her.

"Cloud?"

"You used materia," his voice was relaxed and he started walking slowly toward the edge of the sector. "You need to practice with it. In case there's a next time. Aerith too."

Tifa didn't protest that there might not be a next time. Or even that her friend didn't need to know how to use it as well. Instead as she caught up with him, a curious – and excited looking – Aerith next to her, she protested:

"But we don't have enough extra materia to practice."

"What do you have?" Cloud asked and Tifa looked over at Aerith, who shrugged, apparently content to let Tifa do the talking on this one.

"Two Fire, one Ice – I don't know how strong," Tifa ran her thumb over them, still fit into the knuckles of her gloves. "And two Cures that belong to Denzel and Marlene." She only admitted to the last two orbs because she knew, if she said they were for the kids, Cloud would understand how precious that was. It never occurred to her that he wouldn't.

He nodded, pace slow, and looked over at Aerith.

"You?"

Aerith shook her head, lips tight.

"I gave them all to Tifa," she admitted and Tifa gave her friend a soft smile. She also realized that they'd easily told Cloud what they hadn't told anyone else. Aerith was the materia giver. Why did they both trust him so much? And yet – Tifa couldn't imagine doing anything else.

Cloud reached into his jacket and pulled out a small pouch. Pausing as they walked in the shelter of a closed shop entrance, he poured its contents out into his palm. And Tifa stared with huge eyes.

A least a dozen marble-sized globes of different colors glowed softly in his open hand. She'd never seen so much potential gil in all her life. Aerith stepped forward with a soft exclamation to lean over his hand.

"They're beautiful!"

And Tifa realized how much she loved her friend with her artist's heart – and just how different they were that their first thoughts flew in entirely different directions. Cloud gave Aerith one of his quiet, little boy smiles and held his hand steady for her to look.

"They sound wonderful," Aerith murmured, eyes half closing to listen better and Tifa shifted to stand at Cloud's shoulder. Fascinated by the glowing orbs – but even more interested in –

"Where did you get so many?"

His blue eyes slid over to hers and Tifa forgot there were any other colors or globes that held light for a moment.

"I raid Shinra mako reactors and labs, Tifa. And Yuffie wasn't exactly lax last night either, even if she wasn't in the reactor." His voice was soft and she felt her cheeks flush at what a foolish question she'd asked. The Yuffie part was new information but if she'd been thinking she would have realized about Cloud's part. His shoulder was suddenly against hers and he shook his head as he looked over at her.

"You know why I go there," his low voice told her. "It's not for these." Saying, without saying so, that he knew why she'd asked. Because, in her mind, she knew why he raided the labs and anything extra that came with that just hadn't occurred to her. She gave him a smile.

"Can I – touch one?" Aerith asked and Cloud shifted his attention back to her and nodded. The length of his arm didn't leave the outside of Tifa's though.

"More than that. I want you both to use them. To practice."

"Really?" Aerith sounded thrilled and Tifa couldn't help her own jerk of surprise. It seemed so – wasteful. Using materia to 'practice'.

"I have more," Cloud stated calmly. "These are young and fairly weak. You can practice with these and then when you need to, you'll know how to use and control the stronger ones."

Aerith gently touched one of the glowing globes and smiled softly at it. Listening to sounds only she could hear apparently. Then she looked at Tifa.

"He's right. We should at least know what we're doing."

Tifa nodded but she felt the same reserve that was in Aerith's voice. It was – too expensive a gift. As women who'd grown up in the rough and tumble world of the slums, both Tifa and Aerith knew to be wary of men with expensive gifts. And yet, looking at Cloud's calm face as he curiously watched what was silently passing between Aerith and Tifa, she couldn't bring herself to snap defensively at him. Gentle she rested a hand on his arm instead.

"Cloud – it's too expensive. We can't – Aerith and I can't – "

"You really think I'd do that?" he asked, proving he'd understood more than they'd thought. Reminding her, suddenly, that he'd grown up in Midgar's slums too. His eyes met hers and there was a blue fire in them but it didn't frighten Tifa. Not from Cloud. Maybe she should have gotten apologetic – but, if he knew what his offer would look like – her hands found her hips.

"You grew up here. You know what Aerith or I would think if a man offered us an expensive dress and flashy jewelry. What you've got in your hands is a lot more than that. People always want something in return for what they're giving."

"You don't," he answered back, voice as low as hers and just as stubborn but it was his words and not his tone that jerked her back on her heels. His free hand pressed against the small of her back to keep her where she was though. Which was a great deal closer to him than she'd realized she'd moved. Spark of anger extinguished at the surprise, she blinked up at him. And even to her ears her voice sounded young when she protested softly:

"That's not the same at all."

"It's exactly the same," his voice was gruff at its edges. His eyes had lost their momentary anger too but not their determination as they held hers. "Tifa – it's exactly the same."

Something told her, right then, to refuse him. Because – he meant it. And the reasons she took care of the others… she didn't think her heart could bear something like that directed, even partially, at her. She didn't know what he saw in her eyes but his own softened and his head lowered toward hers.

"Let me, Tifa," his voice was a tone lower than usual and she felt it in her chest.

He was going to utterly destroy her one of these days…

Helpless, she nodded and watched his smile curve his lips and fill his eyes just for her.

oh…. crap…

She felt the last bit of her resistance slip and knew she was in love despite herself.

His eyes held hers for a long moment more and then he shifted to look at Aerith.

"You should both pick out a couple of each," he said, assuming that if Tifa agreed, Aerith would too. He wasn't wrong. Tifa felt Aerith's eyes, sideways, for her but she couldn't meet them. Not yet. She was in the process of trying to pretend she wasn't in the middle of a still, silent panic attack, realizing what she'd just let herself do. And it had nothing to do with agreeing to use materia. Not really seeing, she held out her hands as Aerith sorted through the glowing marbles, accepting whatever her friend put in her palms. The little balls of light were warm, even through her gloves and – comforting. Soothing. If Cloud really carried around as many as he'd indicated, it was no wonder he was so mellow all the time.

Tifa knew better of course. Cloud wasn't as emotionless as he pretended. But the thought still made her smile and helped pull her back to practical things instead of the fact she'd just all but literally felt her heart slip through her desperate fingers. Gentle, she moved her finger over the small circles of life.

"So what do they all do?"

Cloud explained each of them as they started walking again, referring to them by their colors. Reluctant, Tifa put them in her pocket for a moment to pull on her fighting gloves, carefully slipping Denzel and Marlene's materia into an inner pocket and replacing them with the materia that Cloud suggested. By the time she was done, she had four of the small glowing balls on each hand. It wasn't the same as Aerith's and her siblings' gifts. Cloud's, as sweet as they were, weren't rare and precious to him. But they were still warm and bright and reassuring. She clenched her fists and felt the press of the small globes before relaxing her hands.

"What are we practicing on?" she finally thought to ask. Cloud, walking next to her, shrugged.

"Well, no one followed us so I guess we're going with monsters."

"Really?" now it was Tifa's turn to sound pleased and Cloud broke into a brief grin that went so fast it could almost be mistaken for an imagination if it hadn't already left its devastating impact on Tifa's already reeling heart.

"Really."

"Wow," Aerith sounded serious and yet pleased as well. "You mean we're not going to be 'safe'?"

"You'll be safe," Cloud's calm voice was relaxed. "But practicing materia on bottles on a wall isn't the same as a real fight. And I said I wanted you to know what you're doing."

Aerith voiced Tifa's thoughts.

"Monster hunting. Cool."

Monster hunting – and using materia – weren't exactly what Tifa had expected. In truth, she wasn't exactly sure what she'd expected, but standing back to back with her best friend while Aerith set a ruined heap of garbage on fire so Tifa could spin kick a four legged creature that looked like it was made out of mold into it – probably hadn't been high on the 'expectations for today' list. The materia responded to Tifa like water, fluid and immediate and yet, even she could tell that it was nothing like the way the magic responded to Aerith. If there was anything sentient in the globes of light they absorbed and used, it was in love with her best friend.

At first they'd started out a bit cautiously but there was something about being turned into fire and ice and time itself that made it hard to think small and contained. That – and Tifa and Aerith made a perfect team. They'd always worked well in tandem, together as friends long enough that they knew the way the other one moved and thought, their weaknesses and strengths balanced out. Fighting just became an extension of that and while Aerith was the obvious better materia caster, Tifa brought the physical component into play. Soon Tifa had her jacket off and tied around her waist, kept warm enough by the fighting, and even Aerith was flushed in the cold.

Cloud stayed outside their circle for the most part but from time to time he stepped in to join them when things started to accelerate. His inclusion brought an entirely different dynamic to fighting as a team and soon Tifa was looking forward to when he joined them. In fact, she noticed Aerith also started looking for reasons to draw him into their group. It became a bit of a game too and Tifa wondered if Cloud even knew what they were doing or not. For the most part, when he joined he played defense and let Tifa and Aerith take out the monsters but once and then twice he went on the offensive and it made Tifa's blood warm and bubble to be a part of those times. When all three of them went offensive it was a rush she'd never felt before.

It was also dangerous and Tifa started to collect her fair share of gashes and bruises though the sweat and dirt. Cloud was always there though, covering her just as completely as she made it a point to cover Aerith. It was – Tifa didn't think she'd felt that way since she was a child and her family had still been whole and living on one of the Plates. Secure. Safe. Allowed to risk being brave.

Finally Cloud had them all draw back far enough into the Sector to leave the monsters behind. Panting and grinning like idiots, Tifa and Aerith dropped down onto an abandoned door stoop. Aerith giggled.

"I feel like I've got bubbles in my veins."

Tifa laughed herself.

"I'm feeling a little buzzed," she admitted, slumping cheerfully forward to rest her arms over her knees. Cloud sat down in front of them on the last step, one arm across a raised knee and exhaled, smiling quietly to himself. Tifa nudged him companionably with the toe of her boot.

"You're amazing," she told him and his smile turned to find her.

"You're pretty amazing too. I didn't know you could fight."

"She's pretty," Aerith stated in explanation at the same time Tifa offered:

"I work at a bar."

Tifa laughed and waved a hand dismissively at Aerith but Cloud asked curiously:

"What does pretty have to do with being able to fight? You don't fight the way Tifa does."

Aerith gave him a bright smile for being called, in a backward way, pretty and then explained rationally:

"I'm not pretty the way Tifa's pretty. I'm cute, she's sultry."

Tifa made a popping noise with her tongue, not _that_ drunk on fading materia but Aerith ignored her as she seriously told Cloud:

"I wrinkle my nose and giggle and pretend I might be interested 'if only' and it makes guys leave me alone because they think I'll come back – and I don't. Tifa won't giggle and flirt. She just says 'no'. So sometimes when they don't like 'no' she has to prove she really means 'no' and not 'flirt with me harder and I'll change my mind'."

"It's not like that at all," Tifa shook her head and gave Cloud a 'she's exaggerating' look, because he'd turned his eyes on her while Aerith had spoken and they were the palest shade of blue she'd seen so far.

"What _is_ it like?" he asked quietly and Tifa had to stop and think about it for a moment. Because – honestly – sometimes it was exactly like Aerith said. As much as she admired persistence and determination there was a time to stop and some men just didn't get that. And something told her not to tell Cloud about those times. So she concentrated on the other aspect of when she'd learned she was going to have to take care of herself physically.

"It's like… too many guys all thinking they have to protect you. Except sometimes they think they have to protect you from the other guys that think they need to protect you too. So I have to make sure they don't hurt each other."

Cloud digested that mentally for a long moment, eyes inward as Tifa listened to her own breathing slow and felt herself starting to relax. But she was waiting…

Cloud lifted his head and looked at her.

"So they 'protect' you when you don't need it and don't notice when you do?"

Tifa gave him a soft smile, honest and it filled her eyes too as she looked at him. She'd trusted Cloud to understand – and he had. Any other man would have just assumed she didn't want to be protected at all and missed the point entirely.

"That's exactly what it's like."


	34. Chapter 34: Light and Shadow

Chapter 34: Light and Shadow

They did, eventually, make it to Aerith's church. Tifa, growing up with crafty siblings, understood the importance of covering what you were really doing with proof of what you had said you were doing instead. They'd used some of the last of Cloud's materia to heal themselves, though nothing could really be done for the rips in their clothes and the smudges of dirt. The sweat didn't help in the cold either and Tifa was glad when they reached the church. For some reason, no matter what the weather was like outside the church, it was always several degrees warmer inside the dilapidated building. To Tifa, the miracle even greater than the flowers that somehow grew in the middle of the barren city though was the sun that somehow always managed to find its way in through the holes in the broken roof. She went to that as if drawn, with a smile and without thought. Stopping directly in the center of one of the golden beams, she closed her eyes and tipped her head up to catch all that warm gold. Sunshine…

How she missed sunshine more than anything else from 'above'…

Like children moving to their favorite toys, Aerith went to her knees next to her precious flowers. All her life under the shadows of the Plates, her best friend didn't trust the open sky the way Tifa did. For possibly the only time, Tifa was the one with her eyes on the distance and the ethereal while Aerith was bound to the immediate and the earth under her. Tifa inhaled deep, smile spreading and stretched her arms down and out on either side of her, fingers spreading as well. When she dreamed – her best dreams were always white gold sunshine and warmth.

Ancient boards creaked and Tifa opened her eyes and turned her head to see Cloud standing nearby. The colors from the stained glass windows that had somehow managed to survive cast him in jewel hues and obscured him at the same time. Fragmenting him into divided splashes of color. She held out her battered and stained gloved hands for him and he stepped forward to take them, careful not to crush Aerith's precious lilies. It drew him out of the fractured light and into the sun as well and Tifa smiled up at him. Sharing.

"Tip your head up," she told him and with a curious look at her, he did as she told him. "Now close your eyes." She gave him a minute like that, her hands in his while he tipped his face to the sky. "That's what I miss most. That warm pressure and the white behind your eyelids and the way it makes your hair go warm and makes everything smell so rich and full." She shut her eyes too and tipped her head to the light again. She didn't share when things were important in her life. People – yes. Things… no. Things were private, things could disappear and leave you wounded, things could – things could seem like security and not be. So when something delighted Tifa she didn't say so. She wore Aerith's earrings and so her friend knew. She put up her siblings' pictures on the walls of her bedroom and so they knew. She wouldn't say it though. Wouldn't share and put that responsibility on anyone else. She couldn't not share the sunlight though. Couldn't pretend it didn't matter to her.

"Sometimes I come here and just fall asleep in a patch of sunshine. Aerith doesn't even scold me for taking up room instead of her flowers."

Aerith's laughing voiceless opinion piped up from the edge of the flowerbed and made Tifa's smile spread again.

"There must be a crack in the Plate above or something. This is the only place I've ever found sunlight in the slums. Part of Aerith's magic."

Cloud didn't answer but his fingers closed a little bit more over hers and it made her smile too with her eyes closed. He was a watcher. She'd trusted him to pay attention and understand. And he had. Standing with him was perfect and she let herself enjoy it for a long drawn out moment. Then she finally opened her eyes, lazy with the warmth and saw…

sunlight…

two points of impossible blue sky…

Cloud.

She gave him a smile, a little embarrassed and wondering how long he'd been watching her instead of the sunshine.

"Silly?" she asked and he shook his head, that barely there movement that set his sunshine blond hair swaying. The edges of his lips moved softly upward.

"Just right."

Somehow the soft rumble in his quiet voice made her cheeks flush again and she looked down and then over to find Aerith. Her friend was busy with her flowers –

and grinning like a loon.

Tifa gave her a dry look she was sure the brunette was aware of and then gave Cloud's hands a gentle tug. Not having to say anything – he followed her over to join Aerith. They both sat down on the edge of the wooden boards.

"I'm supposed to bring flowers home," Tifa told her friend and Aerith nodded.

"Marlene mentioned that. She said I had to go so I could help you pick them out."

"Which was your idea," Tifa blamed Cloud for her siblings' revolt and his lips briefly shifted into a crooked, and, Tifa thought, self-pleased smile.

"I might have asked for their help getting the two of you away from everyone else," he admitted without guilt.

"So you enlisted the kids?"

"No one better," Cloud stated factually. Tifa tried not to smile because she knew she was supposed to be scolding him for involving her brother and sister in his schemes.

"It's true," Aerith was no help. "You Lockharts are a devious lot." She just gave a cheerful shrug when Tifa gave her a look and Tifa ended up having to shake her head as she laughed.

"They own your soul now, you do know that," Tifa warned Cloud and his face softened but Tifa caught the whisper of a horrible despair mixed at the edges of the warmer affection.

"They wouldn't be the first. Probably the kindest though."

Unable to stop herself, she reached out and slipped her hand through his. His eyes, rich blue, met hers and he gave her hand a light squeeze, opening his fingers so she could thread her own through them. Even through the double gloves, Tifa could feel the warmth of him and it made her relax. Like sunlight. Knowing better, Tifa still found herself leaning against his side.

Aerith left off her flowers and lay down on the other side so she could rest her head in Tifa's lap. Content, Tifa hummed a sound and shut her own eyes, free hand moving absently to stroke through her friend's wavy hair. For a very long time the three of them stayed that way and the warm sunshine feeling filled up Tifa's chest and soul to overflowing too. Finally Aerith's drowsy voice spoke up.

"Do you think anyone would notice if we never went home?"

It was a jokingly wistful question and Tifa smiled, eyes still closed.

"The kids would send out a search party. After they'd dominated everyone else and run out of evil."

"They're cute evil," Aerith's voice was warm and lazy. "It's okay."

Against her, Tifa felt Cloud's chest vibrate with a silent chuckle.

"Strife."

Somehow the sharpness of the voice in contrast to the lazy contentment was more of a shock than the fact it was foreign and unexpected. Tifa jerked upright and her hand closed on Aerith's shoulder. Her hair obscured her vision for a moment as she whipped her head around toward the sound and saw –

There was a woman in the doorway. She was small and slender and her red hair fell in enviable ringlets to her shoulders. Tifa thought, even from where she was, that the woman looked delicate and pretty. That wasn't what had her tensing and shifting to move into a protective position though. It was the black suit the woman wore. Perfectly tailored, simple, understated, and so obviously expensive because of it.

Rude wore a suit exactly like that, right down to the black tie. Reno wore one too albeit much more casually.

Turk.

Cloud had risen to his own half crouch even faster than Tifa, hand going to his sword hilt, his other hand on Tifa's shoulder. She felt him hesitate now though and even though the tension didn't leave him, she felt him come down a notch. He was still wary though and so it made Tifa wary.

"Cissnei," Cloud's voice was low and held a soft note Tifa hadn't heard in it before. The red head tucked her chin, just a little, and walked forward. Her steps were self-assured but there was something about her that was unsure. Hesitating. She stopped before she reached the end of the old pews and Tifa noticed she had black fingerless gloves on her hands.

"Your time's up, Strife." It should have come out sounding much more aggressive but instead it sounded soft and a little bit sad. Cloud stood up, a slow unwinding of his long legs and his hand stayed on the hilt of the sword over his shoulder. But he didn't draw it. Tifa and Aerith watched what was happening in front of them in silence. Tifa could sense the tension in the other woman and for just a moment, the other girl's eyes shifted and found Tifa's before focusing back on Cloud. Her young face tightened.

"The Company is looking for you." Her eyes flicked to Tifa again. "They know you're helping the terrorists. And they know you're in Sector Seven."

Reno had figured out who her 'dish washer' was, Tifa thought with an exhale, wondering how long she had to get to her brother and sister before Shinra closed in. The muscles in her legs tightened but she didn't bolt. Not yet. Cloud had met Cissnei's eyes and she apparently couldn't look away anymore than Tifa was ever able to. Tifa watched the other woman's eyes go hopeless and felt a bolt move through her own chest.

Tifa apparently wasn't the only one that had fallen in love with Cloud against her better judgment.

"How long do I have?" Cloud's soft voice had a rough edge to it but it wasn't anger.

The red headed woman shook her head.

"I'm supposed to bring you in if I see you. I'm a Turk remember?"

Cloud took a step toward her and his hand dropped from the hilt of the sword.

"Cissnei," his voice was gentle. "You were my friend once too." His chin lifted, just the littlest amount and his voice firmed. "How long do I have?"

She shook her head again.

"Not long. I'm going to call you in in five minutes." Her eyes softened and she took a step toward him before she stopped herself. Tifa noticed the other woman's delicate hands were fisted at her sides.

"Don't go back." Her voice was both reluctant and determined. "Get out of Midgar. Shinra is going to put an end to the threat in Sector Seven."

There must have been something in the way she said it because Cloud was suddenly directly in front of the other woman, one hand around her upper arm and his eyes wide.

"What? What are they going to do?"

She met his eyes and her lips thinned.

"Cissnei!"

"It's too late. They're taking down the Pillar now and they'll blame it on the terrorists." Her face was tight and determined.

Something inside Tifa started screaming even before her brain processed what had just been said. The Pillar. Sector Seven. Marlene. Denzel. Dad.

She was on her feet and pounding past before her brain even registered it. The church's warmth left her as she bolted out its wide doors and the air poured like ice down her nose and throat to settle around her heart as she ran. Marlene. Denzel.

Someone caught up to her. Passed her. She caught a glimpse of restless sunlight through the tears the cold was pulling into her eyes. They'd never run fast enough – they'd never –

Cloud reached the first intersection ahead of her and his sword was out. An unused lamppost severed as if it were one of Aerith's flowers and fell into the road. The cars that had been moving across that road crashed to a stop to avoid it and Tifa caught up to Cloud just as he skipped the nearest two vehicles and ripped open the door of a dilapidated looking truck. The driver's eyes barely had time to widen before Cloud reached in and caught him by the front of his clothing, jerking him out of the cab without an explanation or sound. The shocked driver didn't even have time to decide whether to curse or scream as Cloud tossed him aside and took his place. By then Tifa was slamming to a stop against the side of the truck as well and jerking the passenger door open. Cloud swung the gear into reverse and Tifa turned blindly at the sound of her name being called.

"Wait!" she shouted it and Cloud actually paused in response. Reaching out, Tifa caught Aerith's hands and hauled her manually into the cab with them. The second the brunette was halfway inside, Cloud mashed the pedal to the floor and the truck spun out. The door swung wildly and Tifa crashed up against Cloud's side as her friend's weight over balanced her. He held steady though, reaching out with his other hand to help haul Aerith further into the cab of the truck. Tifa reached over and managed to pull the doors shut.

Marlene.

Denzel.


	35. Chapter 35: The Pillar

Chapter 35: The Pillar

Frantic, Tifa searched the jostling cab of the speeding truck and then the glove compartment.

"No cell phone – "

And Tifa hadn't bothered to replace hers yet. Cloud hadn't had one since she'd found him. Aerith never carried one. Why were they all technophopic?!

Cloud took a turn so sharply that the truck pitched to the side and Tifa caught herself up against Aerith. Her wide eyes met her friend's wide eyes and the terror had nothing to do with Cloud's driving.

"God," Tifa managed to choke and that single word was every single screamed prayer she couldn't think to put together. Aerith's hands closed like steel over hers and the pain felt good.

Why had they taken so long in the church? Why hadn't they picked the flowers and gone straight home? Senseless questions but they tore at Tifa's mind with sharp claws.

Oh God. They were going to kill everyone in Sector Seven.

Oh. God.

It penetrated slower than the terror for her own personal loves.

Barrett. Dad. Leon, Cid, Shera. Johnny. Biggs, Amy, Wedge, Marcus… That little old lady that lived two doors down and always clicked her tongue disapprovingly at Tifa. The shopkeeper that always let her take the bruised fruit for free. The children Marlene and Denzel played with.

The entire population of the Plate above them…

How could anyone do that? It was two reactors. A measly two. Repairable damage. Who thought that was more important than hundreds, maybe thousands, of innocent lives? What kind of monster - ?

All those lives –

They passed the last dead zone between Sectors Six and Seven.

The truck spun to a stop next to the gates that marked the start of the stairs that wound up the pillar. Cloud's face was controlled as he turned his head and met Tifa's eyes for a brief second.

"Get the kids and get out," his voice was flat. "Don't stop for anyone. Just get out of Sector Seven."

Before she could even blink, much less respond, he was gone. The gates were no barrier against his sword. Tifa turned and looked at Aerith. Met her friend's huge green eyes.

"You heard him," she said, surprised by how steady her voice was. "Go get the kids and get out. I'm counting on you."

"Tifa!" her friend yelled it as Tifa jolted out the still open door but Tifa was already running for the stairs. Stop them. Someone had to stop them. All those people –

It did occur to her that she wasn't necessarily going to be any help. Cloud was a SOLDIER – or something close enough as far as she could tell. Tifa had used up almost all of the materia with the monster practice. What exactly she was going to be able to do to help she couldn't guess. But – all those people – just getting ready for bed. Little children being tucked in by their parents. Did they remember to kiss them good night? Or did they think they'd be able to do that the next night? Were a husband and wife arguing over something stupid – thinking they would make it up tomorrow? How many people were closing their eyes and sighing – thinking of dreams and what they had to do tomorrow?

How many sweethearts were holding off telling the one that they loved that they loved them – thinking they'd have tomorrow to try again?

Turning a corner on the steps she saw the stolen truck zipping away, deeper into Sector Seven –

and it occurred to her that instead of running away from destruction, all three of them hadn't even thought otherwise when they'd run toward it.

There was a word for people like that, Tifa's mind calmly told her.

Crazies.

And then she heard the sounds of gunfire and her mind shut up. Tifa slowed her mad ascent, though with the noise of the fight she wasn't sure anyone would have noticed her footsteps anyway. Coming cautiously around the corner she saw black suits. Turks. For the first time Tifa felt the anger rise in her chest and focus behind her eyes.

Whatever Cloud was – the black suits were the monsters.

Somewhere beyond them, where the gunfire was being concentrated, she saw a swirl of black and gold with a silver oversized sword. And beyond that? If she remembered from her trip down – there was a computer terminal. Guessing – Tifa figured that was probably where someone needed to be to stop what was happening. The two black suits in front of her were laying down fire at Cloud's blurred form and Tifa forgot to be afraid.

They were trying to kill everything in this world that mattered to her.

Her eyes narrowed down to angry black glints and her brows sank low. Moving on instinct she charged up the stairs behind the Turks. Her approach caught them by surprise – they'd probably thought if reinforcements were coming they would have come at the same time Cloud did, not realizing how fast he moved when he ran. Face tight, Tifa came up on two of them just as they were turning. The cocky looking kid with the crazy hair got an elbow to his nose and then Tifa was dropping as the longhaired blond brought her gun around and sweeping the woman's feet out from under her. The blond tipped but caught at her balance and didn't go down. Tifa, still down on the ground, locked her fingers under the woman's off balance foot and _lifted,_ fueled by anger and adrenaline. The blond went up – and over the railing without a scream, long hair like a streaming banner. Tifa didn't even feel a twinge and was already spinning to drive her fist into the kidneys of the kid with the wild hair before he could recover. She put her entire shoulder behind it and imagined her fist driving right through him and out the other side. He doubled up with a cry of pain and his gun went spinning. Tifa gave him a blow to the chin that knocked him down the stairs. Raising her head, Tifa saw Cloud dealing with his own, much more numerous, group of Turks. For just a second – their eyes met.

"One flight up!" he yelled, eyes determined and she nodded. Stooping down to catch up the fallen gun, she darted for the next set of stairs, trusting Cloud to make sure no one stopped her.

No one did.

Most of the Turks had apparently come down a level to deal with Cloud but there was one still standing at the top of the steps as guard. Some slick suit with his greased hair down over one of his eyes. Bastard! He raised his gun and Tifa flung the one she'd caught up, aiming for his head. He raised an arm to block it and she was in the air when he looked again, full sole of her boot catching him in the face. She all but used him as a step as she vaulted past and kept going.

Try doing that in a mini-skirt, Rita!

She saw the terminal ahead. And saw a familiar neon red head bent over it.

"Reno!"

He turned his head and for a second his ice blue eyes held both relief and pain.

"Back off, babe," he warned, not moving away from the terminal. "I like you but business is business."

"Marlene and Denzel are at home," it tore out of her, raw and vulnerable and hopeless. Not what she'd choose to give an enemy but she couldn't stop the cry. Reno turned back to the terminal and his shoulders hunched inward, but he didn't stop what he was doing. Tifa charged him, intent on knocking him bodily away from the terminal if she had to send both of them over the edge to join the blond on the ground stories below. Halfway across the platform however, another body impacted with hers and both of them flew off sideways to bounce painfully against the concrete and metal.

Tifa twisted away from the grasping hands and rolled herself out of a dangerously close pin down hold. Lurching to her feet, ears ringing, she raised the back of a fist to rub at her bottom lip where it had knocked against her teeth. Narrowed eyes finding –

"Rude?"

He slowly rose to his own feet and shook his immaculately bald head. His usual sunglasses were gone and there was a cut from where they must have broken against his face when they'd rolled. He raised gloved fists and dropped into a crouch that mimicked Tifa's. But the look in his eyes –

"Don't," his soft voice was low and soft in its dead seriousness. "Tifa. You can't stop this."

She had liked him! It was a hard kick of inexplicable betrayal. She'd felt like he was a mutual friend in the face of Reno's chipper insanity, an ally. How many dry looks had they shared in the past few years over the top of Reno's head?

"You're trying to kill my family!" she yelled it at him, frustrated by how pointless this all was. By how blind they were – and how without mercy. The dark man's eyes reflected that he realized it – and it pained him. But being pained wasn't enough if you weren't going to stop the cause of it and you could. With a cry of fury, Tifa drove herself forward and with single-minded concentration, she called up her last active materia. She jerked her fist and pulled lightening from the sky to pulse down through the tall, dark skinned man. Instinct took over then and she raised a forearm just as a baton came whistling down. Reno! She thought she heard the bone crack a little at the blow and it made her whole arm go numb. He hadn't activated the shock though and so she dropped under it and swept out with her leg, impacting with Reno's ankles. He fell and they both rolled. Rude was back up and moving in as well. Tifa's eyes flew to the terminal and the hopelessness washed over her in a terrible wave. She couldn't take on a Turk, much less two – not without the surprise element that had gotten her this far -

Denzel.

Marlene.

Dad.

Cold fury washed up through her and she threw herself into the attack, muscles burning, lungs on fire, arm numb even as she used it to block blows. Better to die – better to kill – than to lose. Not when her family was counting on her.

Rude was holding his blows, trying not to hurt her. Just trying to subdue her instead. As soon as she realized it, she concentrated on Reno. Who wasn't holding his blows – but also wasn't as skilled as Rude was at hand to hand. Reno relied on his electric baton and tended to swing it hard and wide. Tifa moved in under the swing and battered him with a quick series of blows to the stomach. She already knew they wore protective gear below the waist. Reno had let that slip once. She spun out and lashed a leg out at Rude to keep him from closing in. He was trying to grapple her and she couldn't allow herself to be immobilized. And then, out of the corner of her eyes –

Sunshine!

"Cloud!" The name burst out of her and it held all the power, the relief, the joy and the grateful emotion her raw cry of earlier had contained. Rude got in a blow but Tifa let herself fall backward so the impact didn't shatter her.

And then the sky really did light up into blinding brilliance.

For just a second, Tifa thought Rude's blow had caught her harder than she'd realized but then she heard the sound of rotor blades. A helicopter. She wanted to shield her eyes with an arm from the blinding light and battering wind of its blades – except that would leave her open to attack so instead she staggered back and squinted her eyes. In the white light, something – someone – dropped from the open door, falling toward Cloud. And then she felt something jab her into her side. Her eyes widened even as the volts of electric screamed through her body. The last thing she heard as she fell into Rude's waiting arms was Reno's quiet, surprisingly subdued:

"Sorry, Teef."

Her world went uncontrollably white and painful. And then black and there was nothing else.


	36. Chapter 36: Silence

_Echobrain - I can't tell you how happy I am you're along for this ride. We're about to go a bit off the charts and you've got such a good eye for spotting my little inside jokes, not to mention catching the nuances of the characters (which you do in your own stories so I'm not surprised - I bet you know what Cloud is thinking in most of those moments when Tifa's clueless). Horky - all I have to do is see your name pop up and I grab the review like a starving person - you have no idea! You're an awesome writer AND reviewer. Your last review made me bounce around in my chair like Zack on pixie stix - by the way - chapter 37 is for you. Dis – good eye! Yep, you're right, I obviously won't be sticking to the game stats (or even the game storyline) here (w00t AU!). For instance, you've probably already noticed that besides materia not always being up and charged, Cloud has yet to ransack random people's houses and shops to steal their stuff while they sit there and watch him and he hasn't yet managed to find a way to absorb the rest of the team into his own body whenever its time for them to travel (funny as that would be – see Inyuo's 'Party in my Pants' joke over at DA). Some of the game dynamics obviously need adjustment for what I'm doing. And - me too! I like Cissnei as well. Though don't worry, I'll get you a shower scene soon. er - kinda. Zi-ling - I'm so glad you brought that up. I'm trying so hard not to make anyone one dimensional and that goes for the opponents as much as the main characters. Thank you - I'm so happy it seems to be working. And of course, again thanks to Peeka-chan for editing this as well as the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang comment that made me burst out laughing and almost get soda on my computer screen. All mistakes in here are me ignoring her suggestions. To her credit, she has threatened to hunt me down with a frying pan two weeks in a row now.  
_

Chapter 36: Silence

The door opened and Tifa walked through it, stepping out of the complete dark outside to move into the warm, golden light of her home. She walked down the familiar hall, carpet soft under her feet, and turned to look into the living room. No one was there and for a minute her heart clenched in unbearable panic. Helpless, her fingers tightened on the doorway until she suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of children's giggles. Following the sound she climbed the stairs and turned to the left. The door opened just as her hand reached for it and she looked into the room beyond as she heard the familiar sound of a plinking piano.

For a minute everything was only gold light and then her vision divided the sunlight streaming in the wide window from everything else and she smiled. And yet – for some strange reason – she felt like crying too.

Marlene was sitting at her piano, brow furrowed in concentration as she picked out a hesitant tune on the keys but she turned her head when Tifa stepped into the room and her smile went brilliant.

"Tifa!" The sound was younger than Marlene's body - a child's exclamation of pure pleasure. Tifa opened her arms for a hug but Marlene, still smiling that little girl's smile, shook her head and stayed where she was.

"Tifa!" She turned her head and saw Denzel standing at the window, surrounded in gold light. He'd been playing SOLDIER, a little boy's game, cooking pot still on his head and a giant silver sword with a red wrapped hilt in his hands. The blade was so long it had to lie at a slant for him to hold it and its edge, sharp as a cry, a long as the fall of a drop of blood, stretched out in the light next to him. She started to lift her hands for him but he too shook his head even though his brilliant untainted smile of pleasure at her arrival didn't dim.

"Tifa!" Again, Tifa, still in the doorway, turned her head and saw Aerith sprawled out on her bed with a glossy magazine spread in front of her. Her friend had her hair up in its familiar pink bow and her bare feet were kicked up in the air as she lay on her stomach on the comforter. Green eyes held sunshine inside them.

Tifa's heart clenched suddenly inside her chest – a pain so great she felt the edges of her world go black and blurred. Her hand closed over the fabric of her shirt and she realized she was in a tattered jacket with the edges of the hem frayed and the hand that clenched it was gloved in battered black gloves and overlaid with her red fighting gloves, scuffed and worn. Empty spots like great holes, singed at the edges, were in the backs of the red.

"Tifa," the call came from behind her and she turned her head, having to rip her eyes from the sight in front of her to look back down the stairs.

Her mother stood at the foot of the steps with a smile.

"Hurry and change, Tee. I'm making rum balls and I need you to mix the drinks."

"Mom?"

The pain came at her again, harder this time, and she felt her knees collapse. Except the floor didn't have carpeting anymore and its old boards groaned as she fell. The stairs changed, went wider, flatter, a shorter distance. The walls lost their bright paint. Desperate her fingers dug into the post of the bedroom door.

"Tifa?"

"Tifa?"

"Teef?"

"Tee?"

Below her the shadows closed in on her mother, now standing in the opening of a larger space crowded with tables and chairs.

"No – "

Tifa turned her head. Looked into her small bedroom with its single narrow bed, the desk, the window that was curtained against the gloom outside – saw Marlene expressionless at the desk, Denzel shadowed in the corner, Aerith lying unmoving on her back on the bed…

"No..." it came out a plea and a whimper at the same time.

"Tee?" her mother called her from down the stairs, sounding miles away.

"Momma," it slipped out of her but it was the bedroom she tried to move toward. Feeling as if her body was weak. Her lungs were clogged with something black and she coughed and coughed and coughed. Spots swam in front of her eyes and the taste of medicine was on her tongue, thick and oily. Her body felt heavy and far away and she dug her fingernails into the wood and dragged herself forward a nail length at a time, feeling black clogging her throat, her lungs. Not able to breath and everything was so – heavy. Even the air was heavy.

"Tifa…"

The voice came from somewhere behind her as she struggled, no longer able to even see the bedroom anymore, her eyes too heavy to keep open. But –

"help me – "

Something she would never ask. Words she would never say. But – her family was there – just there. She had to get to where they were. Had to be with them. Her fingernails dug into the wood of the floor, moved her less than a breath forward. Pride wasn't anything – determination wasn't anything –

Not if she couldn't be with them.

So she said the words.

And felt strong hands close over her. Felt them lift her. Felt warmth and strength come back to her. Except the pain came too and, this time, with it the hopelessness came as well. There was no bedroom in front of her and no voices in the darkness now and she let the despair swallow her whole.

She woke up with tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Cloud…?"

She knew him before her mind even recognized him. Inhaled his smell, lighting and rain and wind. Felt the way his heat soaked into her. Knew the feel of his touch. Blinking against the wet blur covering her sight she opened her eyes and raised them to see pale light – blond hair – and dark cloth. And even though she'd whispered his name – he didn't answer her.

It made something in her chest crumple like black tissue paper and the tears slid past her lashes again. He held her in his arms, cradled against his chest and walked with her, pacing back and forth. As if she was a small child who couldn't sleep because of bad dreams.

More than anything she wanted that to be true.

She shouldn't cry in front of him. She shouldn't rely on him. She shouldn't want comfort from him. But she found herself knotting her stiff fingers in the fabric of his shirt and burying her face against him. He had said he'd listened to her cry when they were children. This once more – just this once – he would hear her cry again.

Because if the Plate hadn't fallen – if her family was safe – Cloud wouldn't have been silent.

There was no fury in her tears, no mad despair. Maybe that would come later. Now though, there was only the broken promise of her heart and the end of her world and the tears and the soft sounds that escaped her were empty. He lowered his head to hers and lifted her a little more in his arms, burying his face in her hair, his cheek against hers and she felt a dampness on his warm skin that wasn't her own tears. Like a child, she lifted her arms and wound them around his neck, helpless lost sounds slipping almost silently out of her as the tears mingled. He sank down, sitting, pressing them into a corner and his legs rose. His body curled around hers, enfolding her as he held her tightly and she clung to him, nails digging into wherever they rested. Aware of only the emptiness of her world – and him. There was no room for anything else in her life. When the exhaustion rose in her, she was glad and she let it swallow her whole. Falling into the black that matched the clothes he wore.

She woke later and there was no brief merciful moment of unawareness. She felt weak, as if she hadn't eaten in days and shaky. Empty and drained and cold inside. She would have welcomed apathy but not even that emotion would rouse. There was only the eternal hopelessness of sorrow, like a blanket made of lead over her lungs and chest.

Cloud's body was still curled protectively around hers, his legs drawn up to form a barrier as she rested in his lap and against his chest, his arms completely around her and his body hunched forward. Sheltering her. Hiding her. The smell of dried blood leaked in to her consciousness. Dried blood and sweat. It wasn't an unpleasant smell, just – real. It made things real. Cloud had blood on his clothes. Maybe she did too.

The world deserved to smell like blood. Blood and fire.

It roused her a little bit more and she shifted slightly. The move woke Cloud and, for the first time, he actually made a noise. A purely male, barely there sound in the back of his throat. Something about that almost silent sound made Tifa want to crawl right into him, which didn't even make sense. Instead she stayed still even though her fingers tightened on his shirt where they'd fallen in her sleep. His fingers spread and tightened on her in response, almost encircling the outside of one of her thighs and against her ribs and back. For a very long time that acknowledgment was enough. Finally, still not lifting her head or moving, Tifa whispered:

"Are you hurt?"

His fingers tightened again on her in response, even harder this time but it didn't hurt. Even if it bruised her it felt – it felt – real.

"Are you?" his voice was just as low as hers had been. As if they were hiding and didn't want anyone to find them.

"My arm feels funny. My fingers hurt. My ribs. And my jaw feels sore."

He nodded against her, that single, barely there move of his and the hand that had been against her ribs moved to curl over the fingers she had clenched in his shirt. She didn't unclench them though and after a long moment, he finally traded fairly for what she'd given him.

"Bruises, cuts, scraps. Two holes - sealing over now. Down my arm – nothing hindering. Loose molar or two."

In another time, in another place, it would have alarmed her. Now she stayed very still against him. He wasn't dying. He was still talking to her. For just a little while longer, they could stay that way. With an exhale, she briefly shut her eyes because they felt hot and dry.

"Thank you," she whispered and he didn't answer. But he did gently coax the fingers of one of her hands apart so that he could slide his own warmer, longer ones between them. She closed her fingers tightly, sealing him to her and held on while her throat closed painfully and she blocked the tears that wanted to slip from her eyes again. Still not moving, she asked quietly:

"Where are we?"

"Shinra," his voice didn't change. "Holding cell."

It should have scared her or at the very least been a shock but she couldn't seem to dredge up emotion for anything past the bottomless emptiness in her chest. She was quiet for a very long time before finally asking:

"How long?"

His head shook slightly against hers, moving his chin against her hair.

"Don't know. Long."

For some absurd reason Tifa found herself smiling even with emptiness in her eyes.

"I love it when you use monosyllables."

It pulled a grunt out of him and his arms tightened just a little bit more around her. In response she let out a long sigh and shut her eyes again, pressing her body into his. The detached part of her realized she was being too familiar with him and his body. That she was being intimate beyond what she should. That same part of her realized that it didn't really matter though. She had nothing more intimate than her tears and he'd already taken those into himself. He'd always carried those apparently. And – that woman – she'd said the fallen Plate would be blamed on the terrorists. Which meant the only ones left – her and Cloud. The logical, detached side of her realized they were here and not dead because Shinra probably wanted to make a public example of them. Which meant, in the end, execution. For both of them. It didn't bother her – what was left here for her but Cloud? Knowing you were going to die soon however did make snuggling with the man that held your tears seem much more important and left a lot less room for worrying about what he'd think of her for doing so.

"Cloud…?"

His low sound hummed through his chest and into hers and she opened her eyes and pressed her lips together.

"I – I just – thank you, Cloud."

A low sound in his throat again and Tifa squeezed her eyes shut. Apparently mentally accepting snuggling didn't extend to being able to confess your feelings to the man holding you in his arms. It was probably better that way. Better to be this way than awkward and left alone because her confession frightened him off. If they were near the end, she didn't want to lose a moment of it.


	37. Chapter 37: Surprise

Chapter 37: Surprise

Tifa woke from her doze. She'd fallen asleep in Cloud's arms again. It seemed to be the extent of their time here. Waking in each others arms, sleeping again. From time to time one of them would get up to walk around the cell, to stretch their bodies out – but they always returned to the waiting arms of the other one. Tifa thought Cloud was doing it more for her sake than his – but it didn't matter as long as she got to be in his arms.

They'd done an inventory of each other's wounds. Cloud's were worse. Of course. The gash on his arm was clotted shut and not weeping red anymore but it was an ugly line and the skin around it was hot to the touch and angry looking. Aerith could have made that go away…

The bullet holes in him had been dug out, one in his shoulder, the other in the meat of his thigh. A horrifying sloppy job that was even more horrifying when she finally realized he'd dug the bullets out himself while she'd been unconscious.

Both of their faces were swollen and bruised, though Tifa's looked worse. Her ribs were bruised but not broken, and Cloud's fingers as he'd prodded them careful had both tickled and sent a bizarre liquid heat washing out through her skin. Her fingers were a little swollen. She had a burn mark on her side. Spotting that burn mark was the only time Cloud had made a noise as he'd examined her, holding up the hem of her shirt as his eyes concentrated on her skin. It had been a word she'd only heard twice before in her life even running a bar and living in the slums.

Her arm bothered her more than the burn though. It was still numb and swollen and the fingers on that hand were tender and hurt when they moved. She didn't think it was broken, Cloud said it wasn't, but he agreed it might have a fracture in it. For some reason dying wasn't a worry but it bothered her that her arm might not be useful if she needed it.

She'd also left nail marks in Cloud's skin. They'd taken her gloves along with the rest of their materia and apparently during the times she'd been digging her nails into things in her dreams, it had been Cloud she'd been unconsciously marking. The first time she discovered the marks, she stumbled over her apologies until he'd told her, with a barely there shift of his lips and an affectionately dry tone in his voice, that it was hardly the worse that had been done to him. Catching glimpses of the marks from time to time – she'd left them on his upper arm at some point and there was the beginning trail of them on the back of his neck disappearing under the collar of his shirt – she felt guilty. And strangely pleased and proud of herself, which made no sense.

So they'd reassured themselves about the other one, snuggled together, dozed on and off. Cloud had eaten but Tifa couldn't bring herself to and Cloud didn't try to force her when the food came. Once or twice she'd woken cold and found him up and examining their room but he'd come back to her when she'd whispered his name. When she woke this time though, Cloud was still asleep, sitting up with his back against the wall and she was curled against his chest, his legs on either side of her. It was hard for her to concentrate on anything for too long and so she lay there for a long time, looking at the light above the door before she realized it wasn't the right color.

Tifa blinked.

The whole time she'd been here, the light above the door had been red.

Now it was green.

She might not be the most technologically educated – but that seemed to indicate something. What it indicated didn't make sense though.

"Cloud," she whispered his name without moving and he woke, arms shifting around her as his impossible blue eyes blinked open. It took her a long moment to debate whether she should mention what she saw because maybe she was finally starting to hallucinate and see what she wanted to instead of what was really there. Before she could frame her words however, she felt him tense and raised her eyes without moving her head to see he'd spotted the light above the door too. His eyes narrowed down in suspicion and then he slowly unwound himself and rose. Tifa watched him, drawing her knees under her as he motioned her to stay put. She felt weak and drained and yet – unexpectedly – she found she was still capable of caring what happened. Cloud moved to the door –

and it opened for him. Tifa pulled herself weakly to her feet but she stayed where she was. Cloud peered around the side of the door and then gave her a look. She returned it with a nod and waited while he disappeared out into the hallway. Tifa felt tension rising slow and groggy in her chest and was surprised by the emotion. Surprised to be feeling anything other than the sorrow and need she'd been soaked in. Winding her arms around herself, she frowned and watched the open door.

Cloud came back and his eyes were narrowed. Watching the passage beyond he held out his hand and Tifa crossed the room to take it, suddenly wishing she'd eaten when he had. Her body felt drained and shaky and weak, which was fine and almost unnoticeable sitting down but distinctly useless feeling when it meant movement. Her fingers slipped into Cloud's hand and she decided she'd pass out before she'd stop moving or give up. For someone that had been accepting and calm about death – she found she had no desire to hasten it. Cloud's chin moved and Tifa followed the gesture with her eyes. Saw the guard lying on the floor at the turn of the passage and at her look, Cloud shook his head.

Not his doing.

Tifa glanced quickly around and saw other doors exactly like theirs. Most of the doors were open and the rooms beyond were empty and unused. Except the door right across from theirs. That door was shut and the light was red. Cloud's free hand lifted and he flashed a key card at her. Taken from the fallen guard? Tifa didn't know who was in the room across from theirs but at the moment, any enemy of Shinra was a friend of hers and she nodded.

Still silent, Cloud gestured her down the hall toward the fallen guard and she let go of his hand and moved to the corner of the passage, back against the wall as she peered around the corner. Another corridor. Another body. She looked back at Cloud and nodded. Then she tried to watch both down the hall and backward too as Cloud stood to the side and swiped the card in the slot next to the door. Its light blinked green and Cloud pocketed the card and caught up with Tifa. Whoever was in the room could make their own escape – at least now they had the chance.

The same chance Tifa and Cloud had for no explanation.

It bothered her – but not enough that she was going to go back to the cell. Cloud took the lead and Tifa followed, muscles stiff from curling in small positions for so long. Behind her she thought she heard a noise and she turned her head to look. She saw nothing down the sterile white hall. Pressing her lips together she concentrated on where they were going. Another turn in the hall took them past rooms that looked like storage now. Cloud searched the name plates on them carefully and finally stopped in front of one to slide the card. The light above the door went green and the door opened when he pushed the panel next to it. Tifa stood in the hallway on guard as he slipped inside and shortly afterward, he was back out, a familiar looking oversized sword with a red handle over his shoulder and a much more content look at the edges of his aqua colored eyes. He also handed her back her fighting gloves and she felt herself relax a little at them as well. The materia was gone from the slots in them but she slid them on all the same and suddenly felt more like herself than she had since she'd woken up in the cell. For just a breath, Cloud's eyes met hers and there was a soft smile between them. Then he was turning his head to look back the way they'd come at the same time she did, thinking she'd heard something.

Nothing.

Cloud's eyes narrowed but he turned back in the direction they'd been going and moved down the hall. Tifa followed him but she kept an eye back the way they'd come now too.

They came to another intersection and Tifa saw that beyond it the hall branched in several different directions. She was already starting to feel shaky, a mix of tension and the abuse her body had taken before and after the fight. She'd be damned if she'd let herself pass out this close to freedom though.

Freedom - or a trap to give Shinra an excuse to kill them while they were 'escaping'.

Though she couldn't imagine Shinra needing to come up with an excuse. Murdering an entire Sector seemed to make excuses about killing acknowledged terrorists just because they were trying to escape unnecessary. Cloud pulled back just a little.

"I'm going ahead. You stay in the last storage room."

Tifa shook her head. Not about to risk losing the last thing she loved in the world by letting him out of her sight. His lips shifted at their edges but his eyes were sad and he took her chin in his fingers.

"I'll be back. I'm not going to drag you all over the building trying to find the exit in the condition you're in." Whatever he saw on her face had his eyes softening. "Trust me?"

She gave him a glare for the unfair question. Of course she trusted him. It was the rest of the world and fate itself she didn't trust. His eyes met hers.

"I promise."

Her jaw locked and she gave him a look. But she nodded.

"Don't make me come and find you, Cloud Strife," she warned, voice low and a little bit rough with disuse. "Because I will."

Something strange moved in his eyes and he nodded his single, barely there nod.

"I know," he answered. And then he turned and moved forward while Tifa slipped backward to let herself into the storage room he'd indicated. The door slid shut behind her and she palmed the light to find herself in what could only be a large uniform closet. With a 'why not?' shrug, she started sorting through the clothes.

She found a white blouse in her size and then debated whether she should change into it or not. It was Shinra even if it wasn't an obvious Shinra uniform shirt and at the moment there was something niggling at the back of her mind that thought burning the shirt would be more appropriate than actually letting it be on her skin. Logically, however, it would make sense to try to blend in with everyone else that was working here. That and she'd been in her current clothes for who knew how long and they were dirty and bloody and sweaty.

All she really wanted was a hot shower.

Washing her hair sounded like heaven.

There was a soft tap at the door and she turned with the blouse still in her hands as it slid open. No one knocked on storage doors before they came in so she knew it was Cloud. Which was just as well because her emotions were starting to wake up inside her and the turmoil was so great she thought she just might strangle anyone else.

Except it wasn't Cloud.

Despite her intent to go down fighting, Tifa froze. Because she recognized the man in the doorway.

Her savior from the exploding mako reactor.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Then she remembered, savior or no, he was Shinra. And there was no way he was going to mistake her, in her ragged clothes and bruised face, for anything other than what she was. Her eyes narrowed in a snap and she dropped into a fighting stance. Save her life or not, she was either going to kick his butt or go down kicking and screaming. Or at least kicking. Given the fact he was a SOLDIER, she figured it would be the latter but hopefully she'd make enough noise going down to warn Cloud. The dark haired man held up his hands quickly however and stepped into the room so that the door could shut behind him. His spiked hair moved as he shook his head vigorously.

"I'm not here for that."

Tifa gave him a look and he grinned suddenly at it.

"Really. I'm not."

"So you're just here to pick up a clean shirt too?" Tifa didn't even try to sound like she believed him and he looked around the room to notice what was there. He shook his head again and gave her a crooked smile.

"I'm kind of here to rescue you."

Tifa digested the fact. Gave him a very obvious once over from the trademark SOLDIER shoulder guards to the Shinra issue boots. Looked back up to meet his eyes.

"No thanks," she told him calmly and he laughed and –

and rubbed the back of his head in a familiar gesture that made her heart flip over.

"You're not making this easy." He rubbed at his chin, having no idea how he'd scattered her thoughts. Plenty of people probably rubbed the backs of their heads but –

it had been _exactly_ the same gesture Cloud used when he was confused or embarrassed. Exactly.

"How about this?" he suggested cheerfully. "I get you out of here and you go on a date with me?" He smiled as she stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Which she assumed he had. "That should be motivation enough for me to get you out of here and be trust worthy, right?"

This wasn't going at all the way Tifa had thought a conversation with her next Shinra employee would go and she glared at him.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I think I've just turned in my resignation," his voice was suddenly serious. "And I think on my way out the door I'm going to take some office supplies with me. Or a prisoner or two that shouldn't be in prison." His eyes were suddenly almost violet and surprisingly hard and dangerous looking. "I saw what they did to Sector Seven. I can't keep my honor and be a part of that. When I saw the picture of the 'terrorist' they were going to blame it on – I knew I had to help you on my way out the door."

"You unlocked the cell door?"

He smiled suddenly and the hard eyes were gone as if they'd never been. His shrug had the large sword resting between his shoulder blades shifting.

"Sure. You're cute."

Tifa's eyebrows went upward to disappear into her bangs. Definitely _not_ the conversation she'd imagined with the next Shinra employee she ran across. And then the door slid open. Cloud stepped into the small room and his eyes focused on the dark haired man. Tifa had expected a quick reaction from him and she hadn't been wrong. What she got however wasn't what she'd expected.

Cloud's eyes went wide and something so vulnerable and stricken swept through their blue that it felt like a physical blow to Tifa's chest. For a second his face was young and wounded and innocent. And then a fury she'd never imagined he had inside him swept across his features and his eyes blazed blue fire. Used to seeing him fight in silence, Tifa was shocked to see his lips curl back from his teeth in a snarl as he went for his sword.

"Son of a bitch!"


	38. Chapter 38: Second Chances

Chapter 38: Second Chances

Tifa's eyes went huge in surprise. The dark haired man had turned when Cloud had come in so she couldn't see his face but from the way his body jerked he was just as surprised as Tifa by the greeting. He had his sword out in a move that happened so fast Tifa hardly saw it and it was a good thing too, because Cloud's sword came down just as fast and the dark man's sword barely blocked it in time.

"Cloud!" Even as it ripped out of her, Tifa was dodging backward, arms in front of her to block. A closet was too small a place for any kind of fighting, much less the kind that involved giant swords. In response, or perhaps because he'd already realized it himself, Cloud backed out of the closet, waiting for the dark haired man to follow him.

Apparently he wasn't worried about the SOLDIER hurting Tifa but he was still intent on killing the man. Considering Tifa had seen him fight before – she realized now as the SOLDIER followed Cloud out into the hallway beyond – she'd never seen him actually intent on killing someone. She'd seen him determined to remove someone that was in the way – the Turks. She'd even seen him seem to enjoy fighting – the monsters between the Sectors. She had never however seen him with his eyes like this and concentrated on killing someone just for the sake of killing them.

It was terrifying. Mostly because she couldn't see anyone surviving Cloud when he was like that.

"I'm not here for this," the dark haired SOLDIER snarled but past his first curse, Cloud apparently wasn't interested in talking.

"Cloud!" Tifa called the blond man's name. "He's a friend!"

For a second the slashing blade hesitated and the dark haired man used the physical stutter to kick Cloud in the chest and knock him back. Tifa threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around the nearest man – who happened to be the dark haired one.

"Stop it – **stop it**! We're supposed to be escaping!"

The black haired man tried to shift his body to both block Tifa and make it possible for him to still defend himself but he was being careful not to hurt her and Tifa, frankly, didn't have that compunction. She dug her fingers into the fabric and skin of him, arms over his shoulders and glared at Cloud over the wide shoulder. The SOLDIER was taller than Cloud and Tifa was practically off her feet hanging on to him the way she was. Not exactly comfortable but she was desperate.

"Stop it," she grit it out between her teeth. "He helped me, Cloud. He's a friend. He's coming with us."

"Like hell," Cloud's voice was close to a feral growl and he was still crouched, sword at the ready. Eyes narrowed into electric aqua blue fire, lips drawn back to reveal his teeth - Tifa winced as she realized just how attractive she thought he looked at the moment.

"My friend," she repeated. "Cloud… please…"

His head moved, face twisting away from her and he squinted his eyes against the tone in her voice. His own voice came out strained.

"Tifa… don't…"

Under her arms, even though she could still feel the tension in his muscles, the dark haired man was being smart enough to stay quiet and still. Tifa could still sense his intense curiosity at what was happening in front of him. She let pleading and just how tired and weak she really did feel slip into her voice.

"Cloud…"

The blond warrior stayed the way he was for a very long moment more and Tifa could sense how tightly strung he was. Finally he closed his eyes and turned his face away from her, skin tight over the bones of it. Without a word, he straightened and slid the sword back into its place over his shoulder. Tifa felt her heart crack just a little and turned her attention to the man she was still holding.

"Be good," and it came out as much a question as a command. He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder and grinned. But she could see the shaken emotion in the back of his eyes.

"Sure," he agreed. "I've got to get you out of here for our deal, right?'

Tifa gave him a look and let go of him, sliding back to her feet, feeling even more shaky now that the crisis was over and the adrenaline was leaking back out of her system.

"Please," she asked. "Can we just get out of here?"

"Fastest way is this way," the dark haired man took the lead, moving past Cloud with a confidence Tifa couldn't imagine he really felt. She followed and Cloud fell into step behind her. She could feel the way he'd shut himself down and the sudden huge distance between them even though he was only a step behind her. It hurt, like she'd just lost a part of her chest but – she was tired and weak and felt a little bit feverish. Getting out of here alive was the priority. She knew the man in front of her could be leading them into a trap – but again – what was the point? It wasn't as if Shinra hadn't already had them or needed an excuse to kill them.

They didn't get out without a fight. Tifa did her part as best as she could in the condition she was in but both of the men seemed intent on defending her. And they were both easily capable of dealing with the soldiers and robots they ran into too. Cloud was back to his usual silence and their other companion was back to his chipper comments before he went into battle, though he too went silent when he was actually fighting. Watching though… Tifa couldn't help but notice they fought a great deal like each other. Not exactly but there were certain moves that were the same and she wondered if that was SOLDIER training.

They also didn't fight comfortably as a team. Tifa noticed it – and noticed that it didn't keep them from being effective.

She also noticed – because she'd been watching so closely – when Cloud's arm started to reopen and bleed, silent and steady. Just like him. So the next time there was a pause she looked at the dark haired man and asked:

"Are we almost there?"

It drew a wry smile out of him and he nodded.

"Motor pool. One more story down."

They had to fight their way through more guards in power armor to get there and by that time Tifa's bad arm was throbbing in a steady, slow pain that matched her heart beat. The parking garage was full of vehicles and empty of people at first glance and so Tifa took up guard at the door while the guys broke off to find something to hotwire.

The door only opened once while she was on guard and the poor unsuspecting employee sneaking out of work early got a kick to the head that knocked him out cold before Tifa had time to stop her automatic reaction. She was just in the process of realizing that the guy knew who he worked for and deserved it and she shouldn't be apologizing to his unconscious form when the sound of an engine rumbled out like rolling thunder and Cloud pulled up to her.

On a motorcycle.

Tifa wasn't a huge vehicle buff but even she recognized an amazing looking bike when she saw it. For just a minute, her eyes flicked to the blue of his and despite herself something soft and helpless moved through her.

"You just **had** to find the coolest thing here, didn't you?" she asked and despite himself, the very edge of Cloud's mouth twitched upward. With a huge sense of relief, she threw her leg over the bike to slid on behind him and wrap her arms around his waist, tucking in against his back. She was glad his sword was in his hand instead of over the back of his shoulders like usual, or this would have been impossible. So close to the end of what little strength she had left that she wondered if she'd already passed it and was only still standing because she was too stubborn to fall over. She pressed her cheek down into that wonderful place between his shoulder blades against his back and shut her eyes. Trusting him completely.

The engine roared – she had time to suspect that Cloud wasn't waiting for the dark haired SOLDIER – and the bike plunged forward at an increasing speed that probably wasn't recommended for enclosed parking areas. Tifa had seen Cloud's reflexes though and she wasn't worried. There was a rough downward bit and Tifa squinted an eye open to see stairs going by under them – someone was going to be pissed about the tire tracks on the carpet… then Cloud made a sound. A non-verbal warning. Tifa wasn't sure what he was preparing her for but she hunched down against his back and tightened her grip on his waist. There was a lot of surprised yelling around them. And then there was the most terrible sound of breaking glass...

The bike plunged downward in a way that indicated there was nothing under it anymore and Tifa felt things sprinkling down around her. Her stomach took a dive for her throat, trying to get out before it got killed with the rest of her body -

And then they were impacting with something hard with a lurch that sent her forward against Cloud's back hard enough to snap her already shut jaw. A screech, the smell of burning rubber – and acceleration as the bike peeled out and shot forward again. Tifa blinked an eye open to see darkness around them and a road under them. She turned her head just a little to see the Shinra main building with a huge opening where the lobby window used to be and – behind them – another bike with a dark haired rider following close. She didn't dare free a hand from Cloud's waist going at the speed they were but she flashed him a faint smile she was sure he couldn't see and then turned back to tuck deeper into Cloud.

"Show off," she muttered into his shirt and felt his silent single chuckle.

She didn't know how long they rode. She was surrounded by Cloud's scent, masculine and comforting and while the rest of her body went numb from the cold and the rushing wind, where she was pressed against him, his heat filled her. The feel of the bike and the sound of the whipping air going past was strangely comforting and she though – hoped – that maybe she'd died and this was what eternity was. Nothing but forever road and Cloud in front of her to hold on to. If she closed her eyes very tight she could even pretend they were going somewhere to meet up with –

Marlene…

Denzel…

Aerith…

It made her throat tighten down and she clung to that fantasy. That they were going to meet them somewhere outside Midgar. Somewhere with lots of sunshine and green growing things, somewhere with flowers for Aerith to coo over and great wide fields for the kids to run through while the adults dozed in the sun and green grass…

The bike finally slowed and came to a softly rumbling stop under her and for a long moment, she just stayed the way she was. Reluctant to let go of Cloud. Reluctant to let go of her dream of sunshine and friendly laughter. Another rumble pulled up next to them and she heard her dark haired rescuer cheerfully state:

"Well, that was original. Someone's going to be _pissed _about the carpet though." It sounded more like a congratulations than a complaint however. "So – where are going now?"

"Zack – " it slipped out before he'd realized it apparently because she felt the way Cloud jerked as the word slipped out of him. Zack? Cloud _did_ know him! Except… the way he'd said the name sounded… sounded so tired and lonely and young…

"Yep," the SOLDIER, Zack apparently, answered. Smile in his voice and no other recognition. "That's me. So, you got a place to crash or are we just going to make one?"

She felt Cloud's muscles twitch under her hands where they rested against him and without raising her head, exhausted and drained to the core, she murmured:

"Sector Five. Two blocks north of Aerith's church. Her mother – the house with all the flowers around it."

Maybe not the safest place, but it was the only place she could think of at the moment. She couldn't – she didn't think she could go to Aerith's church just yet. Not without falling apart completely. She felt Cloud's nod and heard his sound of acknowledgment.

The bikes started again and took a slower, more sane speed to get where they were going. Tifa dozed until they slowed and then stopped again. Groggy, she let Cloud help her off the bike and looked around. They were in a more run down part of the city but it was still on the Plates and so it was still better than the slums below.

"Here," Cloud moved over to where there was apparently construction going on and shut down for the night. "We climb down here."

Tifa cradled her again numb and now useless arm against her chest and moved over to look down as well. Her mind supplied a curse word other than 'crap'. She nodded. The sooner they got down, the sooner she could pass out in peace. It would have been nice to just take the bikes but the only way between the Plates above and the slums below was the train. Even if it was still running, which she doubted, there was no way they'd make it past the security in the state they were in. One battered, bloody girl and two guys with spiky hair and giant swords. The thought made her smile and she sat down on the edge and wrapped her good arm around the first thick cable, clenching her boots around it further down. She felt Cloud's worried eyes on her but unless he figured out a way to carry her around literally inside of himself, she was going to have to do this part on her own. She gave him a smile.

"I'll meet you at the bottom, Chocobo Head."

She had just enough time to hear Zack give a startled snort of laughter – and debate if she'd just done something terrible to Cloud's reputation – and then she pushed off and felt the heat of the friction though the palm of her glove as she began to slid downward into the darkness and chaos of below.

_000_

_so its been suggested to me that since my story has taken such a turn compared to the way it started and since I know I'm coming up on a natural break in the storyline anyway that I should perhaps cut this tale into several parts, this one (Tales Within Tales) finishing with chapter 40 and the new one(Whatever Stupid Title I Come Up With) starting with chapter 41. Anyone have any thoughts of opinons on this?_ _ All I can think of is that it would make it easier to write a summary for on the introduction page._


	39. Chapter 39: Healing

_back again, gentle readers! My thanks for the reviews and the advice on whether to break or not. Dis - sorry if the story jerked around a bit, I tried to make chapter 35 as smooth a transition as possible though of course 36 is supposed to jar at its opening. Glad you're enjoying the ride - and yeah, I'd be a terrible, terrible person if I killed everyone wouldn't I? Yep. Evil. Evil and cruel and - I'll stop now, I'm getting the urge to laugh manically in glee. ;) zi-ling - hit it on the NOSE! Awesome call on the role reversal. I'm having a blast with it. Skykhanhunter - I'm having a Bill Cosby/Fat Albert flash back - 'just like school on Sunday' 'no class'. I'm delighted you're enjoying the story and thanks for the rounded advice (and loyalty!). Jianre - you're grand! Nope, the hug you're looking for comes in chapter 82 or 83 (yes, best beloveds, I told you I write ahead). I'll try to fill in the meantime chapters with enough snuggling to keep things satisfactory though. And, as always, Peeka-chan (yes - Cloud LIES!! lol and yeah, he finally really laughed. How's that for crazy?) _

Chapter 39: Healing

The water had stopped being hot a while ago and now it was just luke warm but Tifa couldn't seem to stand back up. Instead she stayed where she was, knees drawn up to her chest, water from the shower pouring down over her. Her head told her she needed to get up, get out. At least turn off the water she was wasting. But her heart was remembering the last time she'd felt battered and bruised and her best friend had washed her hair while she was in the tub while her sister perched on the counter nearby and her little brother stood guard outside the door.

She should cry. She just didn't seem to have any tears left inside her. Only a dull, forever ache…

They were at Elmyra's house. Aerith's mother. And if there had been any hope inside Tifa at all that somehow Aerith had gotten out of Sector Seven – seeing Elmyra's face when she'd opened the door to them had destroyed it. The older woman had wept in Tifa's arms and then apologized for it and turned motherly, hustling Tifa off to the bathroom while telling the 'boys' where the kitchen was. Tifa had been too numb by then to do anything but let the other woman take over. That was how she'd ended up in the tub, sitting under water that was starting to go cold, thinking how she needed to get up and shut it off.

There was a soft knock at the door and Tifa ignored it. After a moment the door opened.

"Dear?" Elmyra's soft voice and Tifa tried to turn her head to acknowledge it, but she couldn't seem to find the energy. The older woman came over with a sad smile and shut off the water that was starting to make Tifa shiver.

"Oh, you poor thing," Elmyra's tone drew the tightness into Tifa's throat and she stayed passive as the other woman draped a towel around her and then pulled her hair free. Elmyra was making soft, soothing sounds and Tifa thought that Aerith had been lucky to have a mother like this. The older woman turned her head and called to the door.

"You can come in now, dear."

Cloud ducked into the room, blue eyes averted from the tub and Elmyra chuckled softly next to Tifa as she tucked in the towel a bit more.

"Come over and pick her up. We'll put her in my bed. It's all right, she's decent."

Tifa's dull eyes changed when Cloud leaned down over her and she let out a squeak despite herself when she felt his arms slid around her, his fingers slipping over her wet skin. It was easily enough to pull her out of her awake coma and heat washed through her almost painfully as she went bright red. Very, _very_ aware of the fact she was – yet again – in a towel in front of Cloud and this time she was actually physically touching him. Or being touched by him, which seemed even worse. Elmyra made a soft, chuckling noise and tucked the towel in a bit better now that Cloud was standing and Tifa remembered that Aerith had never been as embarrassed by stuff like this the way Tifa always was. Cloud's eyes were firmly fixed forward and when Tifa dared a quick glance she saw his own cheeks were flushed with color as well. It made her both feel better and feel a bit like squirming in embarrassment. She managed to stay still however and he carried her out of the bathroom.

His bare hands on her wet skin were – distracting - and Tifa shut her eyes – hard – against it.

"Wow."

The comment made it through the shut eyes and she recognized their newest member's voice. She ignored it and so did Cloud apparently, walking past and into the bedroom beyond while Elmyra followed behind making softly pleased sounds.

Tifa changed her mind. She was just fine not having a mother like Aerith's.

Cloud slid a knee onto the bed and settled her down onto it. Tifa kept her head down so that her wet hair could hide her face and she immediately used the towel to cover as much of herself as possible. Snuggling when you thought you were going to die was entirely different from being half naked and knowing you were going to have to find a way to carry on conversation with the guy later on. Cloud's hands left her quickly and she told herself feeling empty and disappointed because of it was silly.

"Don't go," Elmyra's cheerful voice cut in. "She needs her hair combed. It's got glass in it."

Both Tifa and Cloud gave the woman the same shocked, trapped look and Aerith's mother smiled beatifically.

"She can't do it herself because she can't see what she's doing. And I can't do it because I've got to go downstairs and make dinner for everyone." It was stated factually but Tifa's eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion because she thought she detected glee somewhere in there. Cloud took the comb Elmyra was holding out to him as if it might bite him. The older woman gave him an encouraging smile and shot Tifa a wink – which had the younger woman jerking in surprise. Then Aerith's mother was out the door and shutting it behind her. From its other side, Tifa heard her saying:

"Come along, dear. I could use a man with nice broad shoulders to help me add an extra leaf to the table."

Whatever Zack said had her giggling like a schoolgirl and then it got quiet.

For once it was actually too quiet between them.

Tifa snuck a look at Cloud from under her hair to see him watching the comb carefully. It was such a – helpless look that Tifa couldn't stop her chuckle and she held out a hand, careful to keep the other firmly holding the towel in place.

"You can give me that," she told him gently. "I can remember how to comb my own hair."

His eyes, still a bit blank, flickered to her face and then to her hand before they focused and moved back to her eyes. Something in that blue softened and he shook his head at her, sitting back down on the bed and shifting to move behind her.

"It's okay," he told her, voice low. He lifted a long lock of Tifa's dark hair and started to gently work the comb through it. Despite herself, Tifa could only keep up her own tension for so long before the gentle tug and smooth of the comb started to relax her and with a long exhale she let her chin tuck down a little and shut her eyes. Cloud's touch was gentle and it made something inside her chest melt wonderfully so that it seeped down into her bones and muscles as well.

"I used up all the hot water," she murmured in apology and heard him grunt softly behind her as he methodically worked his way through another long section of her wet hair.

"We went next door," his soft voice soothed her even if it was a little rough at the edges. It made her smile softly behind her closed eyelids.

"Good," she whispered. She knew she should ask about Zack. She just – she didn't want to deal with it right now. She didn't want to feel Cloud stiffen up and go hurt and hard again. Not right now.

"How does your arm feel?"

It pulled a weak smile out of her and she almost shook her head before she decided she didn't want to do anything to make him stop what he was doing.

"Better." Kind of numb and tingly at the same time and she could kind of use her fingers after all that hot water. The pad of his calloused thumb slid over her bare shoulder and made her stomach and heart flip weightlessly. He was only brushing a loose strand of hair off of her where it clung against her damp skin but she couldn't tell if she wanted him to do it again forever or never again for the sake of her swollen heart.

"Cloud…?"

He made a soft humming noise low in his throat and it moved through her all the way down to her toes. As if she were a tuning fork, responding to his sound.

"Not now," his voice was even lower than usual. "Serious tomorrow. Just rest tonight."

Dutiful she nodded her head and relaxed again. He'd already combed through her hair once but apparently he wanted to make sure he'd gotten all the glass because he was starting through it again. She wondered if he spent as much time on his own wild, shaggy hair and the thought made her smile. For a very long time all she was aware of was Cloud and the wonderful feeling of his hands in her hair. Finally he slid a hand over her now smooth and half dry hair and it seemed to slip of its own accord down to curve around her hip.

"Come on," his voice was soft. "Let's get you to bed."

Drowsy, reaching up with her good arm, she wrapped it around his shoulders as he shifted her around, moving her so that they could both slip her under the covers of the bed. It smelled – not familiar. The pillows were soft though and the blanket he pulled up over her bare shoulders was warm. She heard sounds and realized he was sweeping the glass bits off the top of the bedspread and dropping them into the trash bin near the nightstand. They were comforting sounds in the strangeness and it was because they were Cloud sounds. She wanted to reach for him – the way she'd been able to in the prison cell – but knew she couldn't. That had been – different. Regular rules hadn't applied when they were trapped.

And then she felt his presence near her again and he was leaning over the bed and his lips were gentle, light as they brushed over her temple in the darkness. So – tender and sweet and caring and against her will, her fingers found the fabric of his shirt – something she wasn't familiar with and that was only just starting to smell like him.

"Stay," she whispered it before her head had a chance to catch up and stop her. "Just until I fall asleep. Please?"

There was a long minute of hesitation next to her and she kept her eyes closed and refused to either apologize or ask again. Then the bed shifted under his weight and he settled down onto it as well, sitting up against the headboard on top of the blankets and comforter. It made her smile and she shifted over to rest her head on his thigh and curl close, fingers stretching out to curl near her chin against his leg as well. After a minute, she felt the muscles under her cheek relax and his hand settled on her hair, fingers moving softly and barely there. Tifa feel asleep content that way and slept without dreams or emotions intruding into the safety of that golden darkness.

When she finally woke up again she felt human. And hungry. Cloud was gone and the bed was cold except where Tifa was laying but she didn't panic or feel abandoned. Instead she stayed snuffled down in the blankets a bit longer before finally sitting up and pushing her hair out of her face. There were clothes laid out on the foot of the bed and Tifa was glad to see they looked like Elmyra's. She wasn't sure she could bear wearing anything of Aerith's just yet and she thought Elmyra probably felt the same way about seeing someone else in her daughter's clothes. The wound was still too raw. Standing up Tifa got dressed and then moved over to the bathroom to finish. In the mirror, her face was pale and her eyes were huge. She hardly recognized herself and so she turned away from the mirror and finished combing out her hair before going downstairs. She wasn't used to wearing a dress but she'd never seen either Aerith or Elmyra in anything else. It still had her smoothing her hand self-consciously over the fabric of the one she was wearing.

She hadn't worn dresses since she'd been a child and her mother had died.

Elmyra was in the kitchen and she gave Tifa a bright smile when she hesitantly stepped into the homey feeling room. Tifa wasn't sure she had a right to feel 'homey' anymore.

"Sit down, dear," the older woman instructed and Tifa did as she said, finding a place at the table.

"Those boys of yours have gone out together. Something about getting Zack's 'back pay'."

"Not 'pay back'?" Tifa asked with a bit of worry. Still not sure how Cloud and Zack were reacting to each other and Elmyra chuckled and shook her head, setting food that smelled like paradise down in front of Tifa.

"No, it was definitely 'back pay'. They're both very polite young boys. Is the blond yours?"

"I – Cloud? – we're not – it's – no!" Tifa finally managed to blurt and Elmyra sat down across from her with a knowing smile.

"Well, you should really change that. He's quite a catch. His friend isn't bad either. I always used to tease Aerith about – " the other woman's voice choked suddenly and Tifa reached across the small table to catch her hand, her own eyes soft and full of their shared pain.

"I know," she stated softly. "She used to tell me about your teasing. It always made her feel cared for and important."

The other woman reached up with her free hand and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin, her own fingers closing in a painfully tight grip around Tifa's. Tifa didn't even flinch.

"I – she was such a good girl. So sweet and full of life. I always – I never wanted her to think that because I wasn't her real mother that I didn't love her just as much as if I was."

"She knew," Tifa put the surety into her voice. "She used to tell D – " it was her turn to have her throat close up and she paused. Determined not to cry. "She used to tell my little brother that being picked to be loved was even better than being born into it. Because you knew they wanted to love you especially."

Elmyra gave a watery smile that bordered on tears.

"It sounds just like her." Her hand tightened on Tifa's and her face went harsh. "I knew the things they said about you on the TV were a lie. They said you blew up the Pillar over Sector Seven. I knew you hadn't. I knew you'd never do that with so many people above and below it. No one down here believes it either. Too many people saw the Turks that night. Everyone knows it was them." The venom in Elmyra's voice should have bothered her but instead – it fed something in Tifa's own heart.

"That dark haired boy of yours told me what really happened. I'm – " Elmyra's voice broke but she kept talking. "I'm very proud of you. You and your Cloud and – and my daughter too. Your young man told me she was trying to save your brother and sister. I miss her – " Elmyra was crying silent tears now but she was determined. "I miss my baby. But I'm so proud of her."

Despite her own promises, it had the tears silently streaming down Tifa's cheeks as well and she nodded. Unable to find a voice to say anything even if she had had anything to add.

When Cloud and Zack came back in, stamping their feet to get the dirt off their boots, Tifa and Elmyra were dry eyed again and washing the dishes together. Zack gave Tifa a cheerful smile that set his eyes sparkling with mischief but Cloud strode directly over to her with determination in his tread. Tifa had time to twist her head to look up at him and he was pulling her away from the sink. It off balanced her, tangling her up against him and she caught at his shirt with wet, soapy hands. His eyes were very green under the blue and – intent.

"Cloud?"

He held out his other hand and she jerked an inhale with a surprised hiccupping sound. Materia glowed against his dark glove. A LOT of materia.

"We figured Shinra owed me a bit of back pay," Zack's cheerful voice. "So we went and picked it up."

She shot him a wide-eyed look that had him grinning, cocky and pleased. Then she looked back at Cloud and his eyes caught and held hers.

"For your arm," his voice was rough at the edges and she realized that she'd almost forgotten the way she'd taken to unconsciously cradling it against her chest.

"Yes…?" she offered weakly and he nodded and held out the hand that wasn't holding her close to Zack. The ex-SOLDIER walked over and took most of the materia. At Cloud's glance, he shrugged without apology and stated:

"You need some too, buddy," Zack said, apparently having left more in Cloud's hand than had been expected. Cloud grunted a sound but turned his attention back to Tifa and, since her hurt arm was resting against his chest, he raised his own hand to lay it against hers. Then, concentrating on what he was doing, he slid his palm down her bare arm.

Even through the numbness, even through the leather of his glove, even with the orbs between them, the contact still made Tifa shiver as it flushed heat down through her. Cloud activated the materia and she felt the familiar heat wash up through her system. It filled her with life and energy – for just a second, it chased the sadness out of her heart. But it also made her go a little weak in the knees.

Because it was doing a paired healing, and it's heat felt a little like Cloud.


	40. Chapter 40: Goodbye

Chapter 40: Goodbye

Tifa waited until nightfall before she went upstairs and found her jacket and boots. Elmyra had washed all of her clothes and Tifa found her fighting gloves in the pocket of the jacket. Funny – she'd only used those gloves randomly before this had all begun, just to protect her knuckles when she practiced her fighting moves to keep herself in condition. Now? Now she felt as if they were a part of her and she felt more comfortable with them on than off.

What did that say about what she was becoming?

She hadn't mentioned what she was doing to anyone but when she came silently down the stairs Cloud and Zack were by the door, their swords slung over their backs, waiting patiently. She opened her mouth to tell them they didn't have to come with her – and then shut it. It seemed more insulting than anything else to say something like that to them. Instead she just nodded and led the way out the door. Just before Zack shut it however Elmyra came rushing down the stairs and out onto the steps.

"Here!" She held out something in her hands to Tifa. "I want you to have this. I think – I think it's the way things should be."

Startled, Tifa took it automatically and in the dim light saw –

Her eyes flew back to the older woman's and Elmyra nodded with a sad smile on her lips. Stunned, Tifa looked down at one of Aerith's favorite bracelets.

"She would want you to have it," Elmyra stated in a tight voice. "She loved you very much."

Tifa knew she should refuse – but her fingers closed over the cold metal of the bracelet despite herself and she nodded, a lump suddenly in her throat. Elmyra threw her arms around Tifa in a hug and then quickly disappeared back into the house. Tifa stood on the stairs for a long time after the door had shut staring at the bracelet. Then she took a deep breath and slipped it into her wrist. It felt strange - and looked odd against the fighting glove - but Tifa thought that was all right somehow.

They went on foot and it was even darker than usual on the streets. Power was being rationed to the slums. It was a way to prove where the power was – a way to make the point of who was stronger and in charge. A reminder that Shinra controlled their lives.

Tifa felt anger growing steadily in her chest as they walked through the fog-choked streets.

She took an angled way to get to Sector Seven and both of the warriors behind her were ghosts in the night, silent and all but invisible. It reassured Tifa. It would have made her feel braver but there was a cold sharpness growing in her chest and it didn't leave room for fear. Her footsteps were firm and determined but unhurried in the moving night. No one bothered her. The streets were unusually empty but Tifa understood why.

The damage of Sector Seven began before they were even clear of Sector Six and Tifa ignored the half-hearted signs and fencing that Shinra had tried to put up to keep people out of the site. Eyes fixed and hard, she picked her way through the rubble and when that became impossible, she climbed.

It was impossible to recognize anything. Everywhere was twisted metal and concrete with the wooden bones of the slums pushing upward through the ruins of the upper plate. Her footsteps crunched on broken glass and shattered furniture. The smell – the smell was concrete dust and oily smoke – and blood and rot.

Tifa wondered how many bodies she walked over, buried and lost forever below her in the dirt and rubble of hundreds of destroyed homes.

Nothing was recognizable. There were no streets or blocks or familiar landmarks – but Tifa knew her way by heart and would have found it blind and senseless.

Home.

Her home…

When she came to it, she stopped. The rubble she stood on was unrecognizable. Ruins from 'above'. But somewhere – under all of that – was what was hers. Slow, she went to her knees and buried her hands in the broken chunks of concrete and glass and steel. Somewhere below all of that…

Had Aerith gotten to them? Was her friend under here as well or somewhere behind her, still inside the cab of an unrecognizable truck? Tifa wanted to think of her here. Wanted to think of her friend gathering Denzel and Marlene against her side in those last moments. Wanted to think that – even if they'd been afraid at least they'd been together.

She felt Cloud materialize behind her and she lifted one of her dust-covered hands. His glove closed around hers. Slow, voice steady, she named them all, feeling a great fire rising in her chest.

"Cid. Shera. Leon. Barrett. Dad. Aerith. Denzel. Marlene." Cloud's fingers mixed with hers in the dark and ruin and nearby she felt Zack listening in the night. Her other hand stayed buried in the wreckage. She wished she'd stopped by Aerith's church after all and brought Marlene her flowers.

"Shinra." The word came out emotionless and her fingers closed where they were buried in the ruin. "They did this to us." Raising her face to see the distant lights of the remaining Plates far above and away, Tifa quietly promised: "We'll do the same to them before the end."

Cloud didn't say anything but his fingers tightened on hers and she knew it was his promise too. He'd promised to teach Denzel to use a sword. He'd promised to bring Marlene flowers. He'd promised to protect her siblings for her…

For a long time, Tifa stayed where she was and the cold seeped into her bones. There were no tears. No raging screams. Nothing inside her but that single emotionless, steel promise. Finally, eyes still dry, she rose to her feet. She couldn't even take anything away with her to remember by, to hold on to. All of it was buried too deep under the wreckage of other lives and hopes and dreams. Cloud's hand stayed wound with hers for a moment more and she gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go. He was there and she knew it. She just needed to walk this part alone.

Again she set off and her two sword carrying shadows followed her. Over the rubble and the dead. They weren't the only ones moving in the ruins in the night. Scavengers and mourners were ghosts in the fog. Tifa ignored them and they returned the favor.

The playground was still standing on the other side of the ruins and Tifa moved through it. Touching. Here a swing, there the slide, there the little pink dome with the ears whose species they'd never agreed on. Her fingertips touched surfaces reverently as she heard the memories in her mind. How many times had she brought the children here? How many games had they played, how many secrets had they shared?

How many promises had she made here…?

Cloud was standing in the middle of the playground near the rusty swings, head down, hands loose at his sides and his eyes were blank and empty. A thousand miles away. The playground had been here forever. It would have been here when he was a child growing up in the slums. How many memories did he have? Tifa moved over to slip her hand into one of his loose ones and wound the fingers of her other hand around his wrist above it. His fingers closed over hers but he didn't look up and she stood that way next to him and let her own mind slip backward again as well. Finally, Cloud raised his head.

"We should go," his low voice was soft and Tifa nodded next to him. His eyes shifted to her and in the dim light they glowed blue.

"Somewhere else," he clarified and her eyes rose to look at him. Realizing he didn't mean somewhere else in Midgar. Suddenly, Elmyra giving her Aerith's bracelet as she walked out the door made sense to Tifa. Cloud had already told the woman they wouldn't be coming back.

"They'll be looking for us," Zack stepped out of the shadows where he'd been giving them their privacy, arms crossed loosely over his chest. "Midgar's not safe anymore."

When Tifa was silent, Zack added:

"They've lost Sector Seven's reactor now too. And there are other reactors and other places to hurt them that won't be as well protected right now."

Tifa looked at Cloud and saw what was already in his eyes.

"I have to-" she wet her lips. "I have to visit Aerith's church."

He nodded.

They picked their way back across Sector Seven's ruins and then moved back through Sector Six's gaudy, now colorless streets. As they approached the ruined church in Sector Five however, Cloud's hand on Tifa's arm stopped her. In the dark, his eyes were glints of blue.

"Cissnei knew we'd be here last time."

"Cissnei?" Zack stepped forward, harder to spot in the gloom than Cloud with his darker hair. Cloud's head turned and he looked at the other man.

"The Turk with the red hair," Zack supplied and Cloud nodded. Tifa didn't think he was watching Zack because he hadn't been sure who Zack was talking about though. There was something… _waiting_ about the way Cloud was watching the ex-SOLDIER.

"She's helped me out a couple of times," Zack supplied.

"Yeah," Cloud sounded as if he'd already known and Zack gave him a curious look.

"You know her?"

Again Cloud voiced the single:

"Yeah," and there was a roll of different emotions in his voice. Zack stepped forward and his eyes were narrow as his chin angled a little to the side. His own eyes were a green glow in the darkness.

"Dated her?" he wanted to know. Tifa stayed very quiet and tried not to do anything that would distract the two men from going on with their conversation.

"No." Cloud's voice was flat and didn't offer any opening for argument. "I wasn't you."

Zack blinked in surprise.

"What?"

"She wanted you and I wouldn't pretend."

Clearly confused, Zack still reacted to Cloud's toothed statement and shifted into a defensive stance. His hand didn't reach for his sword though. Not yet.

"I'm missing something," Zack's voice was low. Cloud glared at him.

"Yeah."

"About Cissnei."

Cloud made a sound low in his throat. A torn, frustrated, angry sound and he turned his head away. His voice was emotionless.

"No." He turned to the church. "Stay here with Tifa. If it's safe I'll let you know."

Zack stepped forward but Cloud had already turned and gone. The dark haired man looked at the woman next to him and she shrugged and gave him a weak smile.

"Cloud is Cloud," was her only explanation.

"I swear he pulls that mysterious crap on purpose," Zack grumbled and surprised a choked laugh out of Tifa.

"He swears he doesn't."

Zack looked over at her with a crooked smile.

"You too?" he commiserated and she nodded.

"Oh, yeah. Almost from the first day."

Zack exhaled and folded his arms across his chest, tilting his head to look down at the dark haired woman in the dim light.

"So you two are a couple?"

Tifa choked a sound and jerked a look at Zack, who was watching curiously.

"No!" she shook her head. Why was everyone always asking her that? "It's just – we're just – " she waved a hand. Finished helplessly with a: "It's complicated."

Zack laughed quietly.

"Yeah. I can kinda see that."

**End of Disc One**


	41. Chapter 41: Memories

_after much debate - and playing around with it - I'm going to stick with everything in one lump sum. It may get a little big and scary looking but in the end I just don't think you can jump in on this story by this point as a new reader no matter how many hints and repeats I try to slide in to the story. So - no setting new story alerts, no switching over, we're going with what we've got. My apologies to the people that got the 'please switch to Disc Two' announcement. Ignore that. I'll switch it for you. You just stay in your comfy chair and don't go anywhere. You want anything from the fridge while I'm up?_

Chapter 41: Memories

Stars.

Tifa lay on her back and stared at the sky above. She'd known what stars were, of course. She'd just never actually seen them before. Even when she'd lived on the Plate as a child, Midgar's reactors had filled the sky with a green glow at night. But here, far from the city, far from everything, the night sky filled the entire world and the stars filled the night sky. Alive and bright and forever.

They'd left Midgar in the dark last night and the glow from the city and the fact she was concentrating so hard on looking forward and not backward had kept Tifa from noticing anything in the sky above last night. It had been late anyway and the sun had risen within a few hours of their departure. A hot sun that was so much brighter and larger than anything Tifa was used to. But again – even above the Plates the haze from the reactors distilled the light from the sun. Away from Midgar however the sun was huge and hot – which Tifa supposed was better than the winter cold. They'd trekked through desert for most of the day, everything around Midgar was drained of life, but by late afternoon they'd reached grassy plains and then trees. To Tifa, who'd never been outside Midgar, it was all new and amazing and both Zack and Cloud, even though they'd obviously seen this before, had slowed their journey and gone out of their way to make sure Tifa could enjoy this first experience with life outside of the city. After all, they had nowhere they needed to be, no timetable, no one waiting for them.

For the first time, Tifa was transient – and it was both freeing and a horrible feeling at the same time. She'd never been without a family before, never had what she was doing not matter before. Never had no one to care where she was or what she was doing. Except… Cloud cared.

She knew that if she wandered off, he'd be listening in case she called and then, when she came wandering back, he'd be there, watching for her while he did whatever else was occupying his time. At night, he laid his sleeping mat down next to hers and during the day, he kept her in his vision from the corner of his eyes. Tifa knew – because she kept him in the corner of her vision too.

He was all she had left and for someone that had once seemed so transient himself to her before – he showed no signs of leaving. She was glad. She wasn't sure what she would do if she lost him too right now. She knew it wasn't healthy to feel that way but at the moment, she needed it.

It wasn't just the two of them though. Zack also showed no signs of leaving. Cloud stayed stiff and distant from the ex-SOLDIER but sometimes – in the middle of a monster fight - when Zack would seem to say something that triggered it - first thing in the morning – Cloud's eyes would go young and vulnerable again when he looked at the other man. Tifa knew she wasn't the only one that noticed it but, after the confusing confession in front of Aerith's church, neither one of them prodded Cloud over it. Zack told Tifa that he'd only just met the guy and didn't feel like he had a right to pry and Tifa – she knew that whatever it was – it hurt Cloud to deal with it. She wanted to avoid things that hurt Cloud. It was eating him inside too though – she could see that when he snuck looks at the dark haired ex-SOLDIER striding along next to them. So she wasn't going to be able to leave it alone either.

Now, lying on her back, watching the stars above and feeling the warmth of Cloud less than an arm's length away from her, she wondered what she would say when she did ask.

'Hey, Cloud, aren't stars pretty? And what's up with you and Zack?'

Somehow she didn't think that would get an answer out of him.

Zack was on first watch, sitting a bit away from the dying fire and Tifa turned her head to spot him in the dark. They'd fought several monsters today.

He and Cloud moved a lot alike…

"You all right?"

The voice was low and soft in the night and Tifa turned her head the other way to look over at Cloud. He was lying on his back too with his arms behind his head and she'd thought he was sleeping. A hint of blue sapphire glinted at her from behind blond hair though and she shook her head, shifting over onto her side to face him.

The stars were nice to look at. Cloud was better.

"I'm okay," she answered, tucking an arm under her head. "Just… thinking."

He made a soft sound and went quiet again. After a minute, Tifa quietly asked:

"Cloud?"

His head turned, just a little, toward her and she saw the guarded look in his eyes. She pressed her lips together and then softly asked:

"How did you meet Cissnei?"

From the slight widening of his eyes, he hadn't been expecting that question and Tifa gave him a quiet, smug smile that got a slanted look in return. But he shrugged one of his shoulders and looked back up at the sky.

"I was on the run. With – a friend. She was supposed to bring us back in but she knew my friend from – before. He convinced her to let us escape. She helped us a couple of times after that. Then she just started helping me because I was on my own."

Tifa was quiet for a long time before she murmured:

"She's in love with you."

He turned his head to look at her then and his blond hair fell across his eyes, glints of blue between the pale gold.

"No." Not denial. Just a calm, sure knowledge. Tifa looked at him – and remembered the way the other woman had looked – her eyes, her face, the way she'd moved and spoken to Cloud – and she knew she was right. Whether the delicate red head had once loved Zack or not – she was in love with Cloud now. She didn't argue it though. She wasn't sure – wasn't sure she wanted Cloud to realize it.

She was becoming selfish…

He was watching her, his blue eyes shifting glints of electric light in the night. She gave him a soft smile. Not wanting him to worry about her. He was doing that too much already and she knew it was her fault for relying on him so much.

"I'm okay," she repeated and the edges of his lips moved, soft and sad. They both knew she was lying – and that there was nothing that could change that. Tifa's own lips shifted and she stretched out her hand to touch his arm.

"I will be okay," she rephrased softly. His arm on the far side of his head unfolded so that he could reach across himself and take her hand in his.

"Promise?" he asked and it was so soft and so vulnerable she knew he hadn't meant to say it out loud. She wound her fingers though his.

"Promise," she whispered.

It was quiet for a little while then and Tifa turned her head to look back up at the stars, hand still in Cloud's. Finally, Tifa spoke up again.

"I like Zack."

Cloud didn't respond and his hand in hers didn't move. Turning her head she found him watching the stars. Very softly, she added:

"You like him too."

His fingers under hers shifted – as if he had been about to draw them away and then decided against it. Afraid he would hurt her feelings? He didn't answer her either and she knew she was right. She pressed her lips together.

"You know him. Already. From sometime before, don't you?"

"Tifa – " his voice was low, barely there and she wound her fingers closer with his.

"Why doesn't he remember you, Cloud? How could he forget?"

"Tifa," he turned his face toward her then and the skin was tight over the bones of it. In pain. Without thinking, she scooted over onto his sleeping mat and he moved automatically to make room for her, shifting onto his side to face her. She searched his eyes as he told her:

"I don't remember. I – thought I did." His eyes held hers and they were hurt. "But maybe I don't. Not right at least. Maybe I don't remember Zack, maybe it was someone that looked like him. Or maybe I remember him but what I remember didn't really happen."

Tifa tucked in closer to Cloud, brows down. Their bodies still weren't touching except for their linked hands but they were as close to it as they could get. Their faces were so close that Cloud's hair mingled with hers. Tifa, instead of jumping to automatically comfort him, actually paid attention to what he said and gave it some serious thought. After a moment, she reached out with the hand she'd had tucked under her head and touched Cloud's soft bangs.

"Well – it must be him," her voice was low and reasonable, "because you remembered his name specifically. And – Cloud – you two fight alike. Not exactly but – you use some of the same moves. You even end up in the same stance afterward. I thought it might be SOLDIER training but you do other things the same way too. Like rubbing the back of your neck when you're uncomfortable."

Cloud went very still and she knew it was because she'd given away the fact that she recognized one of his 'tells', not that they were talking about similarities between him and Zack.

"You want to rub the back of your neck now?" she asked helpfully and suddenly Cloud was laughing. Really, honestly laughing. He rolled onto his back and just laughed, her hand still intertwined with his over his chest. Tifa felt something in her heart swell dangerously as she listened to that rare, wonderful sound under the stars. Shaking his head as he quieted, he turned back to look at her, their noses almost touching. His face had softened and his eyes did now as well. Gentle, he reached out with their linked hands and brushed a long strand of her hair away from her face.

"Stay with me," his voice was quiet. "Just for a little while longer."

It made her throat tight and stung her eyes and she managed a watery smile as she nodded. His lips relaxed into a smile of their own and then he turned his head back to watch the stars, bringing their linked hands to rest over his heart. Tifa fell asleep that way, watching the profile of his face and feeling the steady, sure beat of his heart.

She woke up in the morning feeling cold. There was a blanket draped over her and tucked in but – she was lying on the mat alone. The sun was just beginning to come up and she rolled onto her back with an inhale and rubbed at her eyes. As wonderful as being outside in green and sunlight and clean air was – Tifa wouldn't have minded a warm bed and hot running water. Opening her eyes, she sat up and pushed the hair back from her face.

"Good morning, Beautiful!"

She gave Zack a squinted look.

"Are you ever not cheerful?"

He pretended to give it some thought and then shook his head. But his smile was softer as he came over to squat down next to her and hand her a mug of coffee. Tifa inhaled the smell appreciatively and gave him a still sleep tipped smile.

"You save me again," she teased and he grinned as he sat back on his heels and watched her take her first sip. Then, without needing to be asked, he supplied:

"Cloud's gone out but he'll be back soon. We both thought we heard something on our watches last night but nothing ever showed. He's gone to see if he can find anything."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" she asked and he tipped his head and gave her a chiding look, complete with smile.

"So you could sit there in the dark with us and see nothing too? Besides, you're cute when you sleep."

"Zack -" it was her turn to chide and he just grinned unrepentantly before he stood up and went back to packing up their small camp. When she started to move he waved a gloved hand.

"I'm almost done and it's a sacred law that the first cup of coffee is never to be rushed or disturbed."

Tifa gave him a smile but she drew her knees up to her chest and sipped at the hot liquid, feeling the way it warmed her and woke her.

"Zack," she watched him as he tied everything down onto the packs. "Are you sure you don't remember Cloud from before? Because he thinks he remembers you."

"Yeah, I kinda guessed." Zack finished tying things down and rested on his heels next to the packs. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember some dark, broody guy with a SOLDIER sword and crazy blond hair."

"You should talk," she gestured toward his own spiky dark hair and he chuckled as he smoothed a hand over it.

"Hey, this isn't crazy. This is 'roughish'."

"Oh," she laughed at the correction. "That explains things."


	42. Chapter 42: Red XIII

_aaand - we're back! Firstly thanks to Peeka-chan for squeezink editing in to her schedule. Poor Zack, do you mean to tell me he's lost out to a fuzzy, soulful, dry humored kitty/lion/puppy? He's just going to have to work extra hard at winning you back to his team I suppose. Jianre, here's the chapter (or rather character) you asked about. And yeah, I had fun with Elmyra. Bet she hides trashy romance novels in her bedroom too! zi-ling - chapter 44 is for you since you asked for it while I was up. I'll have to get back to you on the rest ;) Dis - here's my shoulder, cry away. It reminds me of BaratsAndBereta 'MANtage' video over on YouTube - cryin' at Ol' Yeller. I always love the humor you add to your reviews. Yessss, Zack and Cloud - much head screwing over I have planned for the both of them - though thanks for the 'zackishness' - I'm glad he seems in character. demonegg! welcome to the party! and thanks so much for your other reviews too. You give such great detail in the why you like and what you like, its pure meat to my hungry author's soul. And now without furthur ado (tadooo!) _

Chapter 42: Red XIII

Cloud came back to the camp having found nothing but Tifa noticed the way the guys took turns walking in front of and behind her as they hiked along. It was protective and sweet and she couldn't bring herself to protest it even though she knew she should. She didn't want to be the obvious weakest member of the party but she was. It didn't make much sense to pretend otherwise – she was dealing with two, for all intents and purposes, SOLDIERs. Mako inhanced, specially trained, years of combat SOLDIERs. She thought even Barrett would have had a hard time pretending to be on equal footing in combat. And they did have combat. Even this far from the reactors there were still monsters. The first few times they fought, Zack would shift to protect Tifa. Until he saw her fight. After that, he followed Cloud's lead and let her handle her own targets. So – if she wasn't equal to them in abilities, Tifa at least felt as if she was able to hold her own and not be a burden.

It was very important to her that she wasn't a burden.

She also made sure she kept up with them when they walked and carried her own gear without help. The first few days she had to work at it but chasing kids and spending all night long zipping between tables with drinks had built her up a bit and by the third day she had found a rhythm that fit with the guys when they walked.

She was starting to enjoy being out in the wilds.

Even if she caught herself thinking of how Marlene and Denzel would have enjoyed this…

Even if she found herself absently stopping to pick flowers because Aerith would have liked to see them…

At noon, they took a break, stopping in the shade of a small stand of trees. Tifa sank down on the grass with a content sound and slipped her pack off her shoulders. Zack shook his canteen.

"Running low on water, man," he commented. Tifa made shooing motions with her hands.

"You two go find some water. I'll make lunch."

Zack dropped his own pack off his shoulders and caught the canteen Tifa tossed him.

"I'll go."

"You'll both go," Tifa shot him a look she had used on Denzel often enough. "I'm tired of being hovered over."

Zack gave her a scowl and she caught the look Cloud flashed her from the corners of his eyes as he bent over to set his own pack down near her. Had they really thought they were being subtle?

"Go away," she told them both and stretched out to give Cloud's leg a light nudge with her boot. "I promise I'll stay put. Go – do whatever it is men do when women aren't around."

"Talk about women?" Zack asked and she threw one of the flowers she'd collected at him.

"Engines," Cloud's voice was so soft they shouldn't have heard it. They both did.

"What?"

Cloud straightened and gave Zack a calm look.

"I'd rather talk about motorcycle engines."

Tifa realized faster than Zack that Cloud was joining their joke and she laughed. The edges of Cloud's lips shifted carefully upward and his eyes moved from Tifa to Zack. Hesitantly, guardedly – offering. Zack, as clueless as he liked to pretend he was, caught it.

"Uh," his eyes blinked wide. "Sure." Then he started to grin and tossed one of the canteens to Cloud. Cloud caught it and Zack's grin got bigger. "Come on, Cloud. We'll go talk about engines and bring back a river for Tifa."

Tifa watched them go with a smile – Cloud hesitant but willing to try, Zack like an overgrown puppy eager to include new friends in his romp.

They looked like they'd walked that way a thousand times before. Tifa pressed her lips together and watched them disappear.

Zack said he'd never known Cloud before. Except they moved too familiarly around each other…

With an exhale she shut her eyes and tipped her head back to enjoy the dappled sun. It was still a little chilly in the mornings and nights but during the day as they were hiking, she warmed up fast enough. Now she let the light breeze cool her face for a while. Needing – needing time to herself. She adored Zack and Cloud and she didn't know what she would do if she didn't know they were going to come back but…

She just needed a little bit of time to herself right now.

Eventually she opened her eyes, feeling more centered, and pulled the packs over to her so that she could sort through them. They were going to have to find somewhere to get food soon. Tifa's appetite was returning, especially with all the hiking and fighting, but even so, she couldn't believe the amount of food both Zack and Cloud put down with each meal. And that was after having had a growing boy in her house.

'Making lunch' consisted of opening several packs of food and not much else. As far as challenging her culinary talents, it didn't offer much. Of course it also made cleaning up afterward pretty easy too. In the process of sorting through the packs of food they had left, Tifa suddenly turned her head.

Nothing.

She could have sworn she'd heard something though. Turning back to the food, she frowned.

Cloud and Zack had both heard something last night as well. In fact – Tifa had thought she'd felt something following her in the Shinra building too – but she'd just assumed it was Zack. What if it wasn't?

Considering Cloud and Zack had already tried to find whatever was making them edgy, Tifa had to sit and think about what she could do that they hadn't. Other than being an easier target than they were, of course. Setting the food aside, she tucked her feet up under her and rested her hands on her knees. What could she do that Cloud and Zack probably hadn't already - ?

"You can come out now." Wasn't it strange how calm her voice sounded – talking to either an unseen stalker or the wind and the trees? For a very long moment nothing happened and Tifa was just debating whether she should mention whatever was following them couldn't keep following them forever or just pretend she wasn't talking to nothing when the tall grass near where the men had gone rustled. Cautious, Tifa shifted on her heels. Not sure if offering to let whatever it was come out had been the smartest move – but what was the alternative?

The grass, gold and green, parted and a red muzzle pushed through. The muzzle was followed by a furred head with golden eyes and a mane/crest of darker red, like a mohawk. Tifa blinked, not exactly sure what she'd been expecting but pretty sure this hadn't been it. The wolf/lion creature stepped further out of the tall grass, revealing four huge paws and a compact, muscled body was well as a tail that seemed – Tifa thought it had a flame at the end – except – wouldn't that have set the grass on fire? Its ears were flat back against its leonine skull and Tifa saw it seemed to have feathers and beads braided into its mane. It stared at her and she stared at it. And for a long moment, the only thought that would come into her head was –

Denzel's lion.

Then a fly landed on its nose and it shook its entire head and Tifa blinked. Not sure what to do with it now that she'd brought it out into the open.

"Did you – " she paused and apologetically offered with a gesture. "Did you want something to eat?"

Even as the words were out of her mouth she realized it looked carnivorous. And she might be considered dinner.

Hesitant it started forward, its golden eyes still on hers, huge shaggy head low to the ground. Tifa decided that that meant it understood her – and was probably taking her up on her offer of food that wasn't her. Reaching out blindly she pulled up one of the packs of food and, realizing it was vegetable noodle, tried again and found the tuna. The creature was – vaguely cat like, right? Besides, the noodles needed to have hot water added and the tuna could be eaten as it was.

"Will tuna work?" she asked, hoping it really did understand. There was a patterned cuff around one of its ankles, Tifa noticed as she opened the tuna packet. Zack was going to be upset – it was the last of their tuna and he seemed to live off the stuff.

Hence why it was their last pack.

She hit a snag at that point in her non-plan. They usually just ate out of the packet with forks. Given the lack of fingers and thumbs though, that wasn't an option for her impromptu lunch guest.

Her impromptu lunch guest that was getting really close. 'Close' as in 'pouncing distance'.

"Give me a minute," she frowned and then figured out how to rip the pouch down the sides too so that it formed a really bad imitation of a plate. Kind of. If you squinted and turned your head sideways and had no idea what a plate really looked like. Still –

"There," she set it down on the grass nearby and moved a little bit to the side. The red furred creature watched her and she thought he didn't look very scary. Not in his eyes.

And his tail was definitely on fire.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I don't really have anything better to offer."

The wide head swung over to sniff at the tuna and for a second she thought she saw the edge of its mouth twitch. Then it made a rumbling noise deep in its chest – reminding her for just a minute of Cloud and his non-verbal vocalizations – before lowering its nose and starting to eat.

It definitely had large teeth. Large pointy teeth.

It also, Tifa noticed, had a brand on its front haunch. Tifa wasn't an expert on brands but – this one looked new and painful.

"Thirteen," she said it quietly, reading the number the brand labeled the creature and, without looking away from the food it was delicately eating, the gold eye on that side of the huge head, shifted to look at her. Tifa pressed her lips together. It was either responding to her tone and not understanding her words – which meant it was really, really good at reading tone – or it understood what she was saying.

"It doesn't seem right to call you a number. You must have a name."

The golden eye gave her a bemused look but there was no response as the fish politely disappeared. Tifa exhaled and her brows came down a little.

"I'm really bad with making up names," Tifa continued, somehow feeling the need to talk to fill the silence. That – and it seemed to really be listening and so she thought – if she was talking then maybe it would stay. And not eat her. It finished the tuna and sat back on its haunches to regard her solemnly. She resisted her OCD habit of picking up the wrapper that was resting between its paws.

Denzel would have named it 'Megatron' or 'Captain Stupendous' or something equally dramatic. Marlene would have named it 'Darcy' or 'Heathcliff' or some obscure character name from whatever book she was currently reading. Tifa, who had literally once named the stray dog outside the bar 'Dog' realized she was going to have to do better than that but wasn't sure exactly what. She rested her chin in her hand for a minute – looking at the creature that was sitting there looking back at her.

"All I can think of is 'Red'," she admitted finally. Which was easily one of the least creative names but beat out Tuna-snatcher and Fuzzy Thing by a hair. Sweetums didn't seem dignified enough – which did make her want to call it that instead but she thought the boys would have too much fun with it when they got back. When they got back…

Her eyes flicked in the direction they'd gone but saw nothing at the moment. The creature seemed intent on staying and it wrapped its tail, definitely somehow on fire at the tip, around its paws.

"I'm Tifa," she introduced herself and it actually bobbed its head. That made her smile suddenly and she felt better. "You do understand. Good. And I'm sorry about the name. My brother and sister would have done better. Are you still hungry?"

The gold eyes rolled over to where the packets of food were and then returned to her and the look in them –

She was laughing and shaking her head.

"Okay. I know it's terrible. But it's all we've got. If I had a kitchen I'd do better. I suppose you were just being polite eating the tuna, weren't you?"

The huge head lowered and the eyes looked up at her from the tops.

"Sorry," she smiled. "But the only other thing I had was uncooked noodles." Again the golden eyes rolled toward the packets and it made her smile.

"You've been following us, haven't you?"

The muzzle lifted and thrust forward, just a little. Like a nod upward instead of the human downward dip. Tifa sat down and crossed her legs in front of her.

"Since the Shinra building?" she guessed and the muzzle swung toward the brand on the side of its shoulder with something close to a snarl. Seeing the teeth displayed was – not reassuring but Tifa thought they weren't for her so much as the –

"Oh. They did that to you?"

The head turned back toward her and the golden eyes rested on her face.

"I'm sorry," and she meant it because the brand still looked raw and painful but also because – no one should have to be reduced to a number. "They're good at hurting people," her voice came out softer and with more emotion than she'd meant it too and she pressed her lips together. The creature stood up and slowly, a paced step at a time, approached her. Tifa sat very still. Pretty sure even if she did try to jump up and make a run for it, the animal could catch her first. Instead she watched his gold eyes and thought – they looked very sad. When it came to a stop in front of her, the red head lowered to her chest level and pushed forward. It stopped just before it came into contact with her. And waited. Tifa couldn't see the golden eyes anymore.

Tentative, she raised her hands and just as carefully she rested them on the sides of the huge head. 'Red' didn't move. Just as carefully as he'd approached her, she lowered her own head so that it rested on top of his. His fur felt rough and funny against her cheek and it smelled a little musky and a little bit like sun-warmed grass. She shut her eyes and exhaled.

"Thanks," she whispered.

By the time the boys came back, Red had settled on the other side of the packs from where Tifa had started a small fire. The noodles were bad enough. When they were made with cold water they were even worse. Red didn't lift his head as the men approached the small camp and neither one of the men looked surprised to see it lying there. It took Tifa a long minute to figure out why as Cloud came over to kneel between her and it and give her the full canteens and Zack went to go stand in front of it, arms folded across his chest, legs stanced as he looked down at the creature.

"You knew?" Tifa turned her head to look at Cloud and he reached up to rub the back of his neck before stopping himself halfway.

"We thought if we left you 'alone', our stalker might show."

"Cloud's idea," Zack exonerated himself quickly.

"We didn't go far," Cloud clarified and Tifa shook her head at him. Actually – glad. It showed her that Cloud trusted her even if he was still being protective. And – it showed that he thought she was getting better. That he was starting to think she was strong enough again to stand on her own. She'd been so helpless before, utterly lost and unable to be anything but a walking, wounded _need_. Trusting her to handle the situation on her own – it meant he thought she was growing stronger. Healing. And – if he thought it, than maybe it was true.

Tifa had hated being so helpless and needy. So… weak.

"You didn't go far," Tifa gave Cloud a soft smile. Because – you could trust someone's own strength and still have their back.

"He ate my tuna," Zack grumbled from where he was standing and it made Tifa laugh. Light, she reached out and touched Cloud's arm.

"Don't worry," she added insult to injury. "Red got no pleasure out of it."

The creature in question made a grunting noise in its chest


	43. Chapter 43: Leaving

Chapter 43: Leaving

Red traveled with them from that point on and if he couldn't talk, he certainly understood everything they said. The other two males weren't exactly trusting of him but they made him a part of their traveling routine. Tifa realized that Red could have other motives for first following and then joining them but she couldn't see much point behind any of the ones she came up with as possibilities. In the end, it all came down to 'what was the point?' If he was a Turk or Shinra spy – why bother join them when it was easier to just kill them? If he had some other evil in mind for them, why not just carry through with it instead of the long pretense of being a part of their group?

Red seemed to understand and he didn't push his presence into the group. He also seemed to understand that the men got more cautious when it came to Tifa than when it came to themselves. Tifa got the idea Red found it vaguely amusing and for herself she couldn't decide if it was cute or annoying. It certainly had bonded Zack and Cloud though because now, instead of watching each other cautiously around her, they both watched Red instead.

Cloud still laid out his sleeping mat next to hers every night though.

Which was nice. And – frustrating. Because Tifa had to stay on her own mat instead of moving over to his. Otherwise it would look like their relationship was something it wasn't. But it was hard because she had found so much comfort sleeping next to him. Really sleeping next to him and not on a separate mat with all kinds of space between them. All she really wanted to do was snuggle up against his side and feel the warmth of him and fall asleep surrounded by the clean scent of him and the sound of his breathing.

Which was really something she was going to have to get over wanting. There was no excuse for it anymore and if she did it for no reason, even if he somehow didn't jump to the wrong conclusion, everyone else would.

It wasn't as if she was going to be able to sleep next to Cloud for the rest of her life anyway.

As much as she'd like to think otherwise, Tifa knew their time together was only temporary.

So she slept on her own mat at night and consoled herself with the stars above and the quiet sound of Cloud's breathing.

She wasn't going to be weak. She wasn't going to be needy.

And she was so glad when they finally reached a town because she'd been about to go mad and start snapping at unsuspecting people because she couldn't sleep where she really wanted to at night.

They entered the town late in the evening, coming off of the grass plains and following the wide packed, dirt track that led to the buildings. After the time in isolation, coming into a busy place full of moving people was a bit of a surprise to Tifa and she wondered at how quickly she'd adjusted to life outside of Midgar's slums. Red walked at her side, his head easily as tall as her hip and people gave them a wide berth because of it. Their small team found the only inn the town seemed to have and Tifa was glad when they got a single room together. Apparently the guys weren't any more interested in splitting up than she was. It was simple safety really, considering they were probably wanted and who knew how far Shinra was willing to search to find them – but it was also comforting to Tifa. She'd gotten used to hearing the quiet sounds everyone made as they slept and the feel of their nearby presence.

Zack insisted on ordering food for their room and no one argued considering the only other option was the noodles everyone was deeply sick of. Tifa went and took a hot shower while they waited but she was quick about it. Not because she wanted to be but because it wasn't fair to use up all the hot water yet again when Cloud and Zack probably wanted a hot shower just as badly as she had. Coming back into the room in the only other outfit she had – the dress Aerith's mother had given her - she saw the boys had already assigned her a bed, dropping their packs onto the ones they wanted to claim. The bed in the middle was apparently going to be hers and it made her smile. She could think of just about a dozen or so girls that would have killed to be in her position right now…

until she remembered that most of the girls she was thinking about had been living in Sector Seven…

"Clean up pretty good, Lockhart" Zack congratulated her from where he was sorting through his pack and she just shook her head at him and sat down on her bed, folding her legs up under her and digging a brush out of her pack. Tifa started to comb out her wet hair and Cloud slipped out of the room for his own turn at the shower. Red settled down on the carpet at the foot of the bed and rested his head in his front paws. Tifa didn't suppose he wanted a shower.

"So now what?" she asked Zack after she finally finished with her hair. He sprawled back on his bed with a sudden exhale. He liked to do things suddenly and dramatically she'd learned. It was a sharp contrast to Cloud but it seemed to work well for both of them.

"We were thinking – "

"By 'we' I assume you mean Cloud and you?" Tifa asked politely and Zack's eyes slid over. Just beginning to realize that he might have said something wrong.

"Um – yeah?" he answered carefully. Tifa looked over at Red who had lifted his head to give her the same type of look. Tifa realized she'd been foggy and a bit weak lately – but they were a team of – well, four really. She gave Zack a look as Red trotted over to sit down next to her.

"What did 'we' decide?" she asked calmly.

"That things might be getting too hot on this continent," Cloud's voice came from the door and Tira turned her head to see him in clean clothes with a towel over his shoulder and his hair damp. It did nothing to control the spikes. He walked over and sat on the foot of Tifa's bed. "It might be time to go on 'vacation' elsewhere."

"Where?" Tifa asked, still determined not to be left out of things because she was hurt. Determined not to be distracted by the fact Cloud still had drops of water on his skin and she just knew if she leaned just a little closer, she could press her face into his skin and he would smell good.

Cloud shook his head.

"Don't know. I need to get to Wutai but I can't go right away. Not if Shinra recognized me."

"I said Costa del Sol," Zack inserted cheerfully. "Sun, sand, and ocean breezes. It would give us a chance to get our heads back on and figure out what we wanted to do next."

Tifa looked at Cloud and he shrugged a single shoulder. Watching her.

"We'd still be together?" she asked, hating the way her voice went quiet and she looked away from Cloud to look at Zack and Red. The three of them were her family. All she had left in this world. She hated being so weak and yet - "Right?"

"Hey," Zack grinned and sat up to scoot forward on the bed to sit directly across from her. "You know I'm coming along. Even if we don't go to Costa del Sol. You're my gang now." He offered his hand. "We're in this together, right?"

"Whatever 'this' is," Tifa managed and laid her hand in his, feeling better. Cloud's own hand shifted to rest on top of both of them. Not his usual style but – it reminded her so much of the way she and Marlene and Denzel used to seal promises…

Their hands were bumped upward as Red pushed his nose under them and Tifa found herself laughing softly.

"Okay," she agreed. "Let's try Costa del Sol. I've always wanted to visit a beach."

Their food came then and after that Zack headed off for his bath and Red wandered out. Tifa finished cleaning away their dishes and set them neatly stacked outside the door before coming back into the room. Cloud was at the window and Tifa drifted over to join him. Outside night had already fallen and the warm golden light leaked out of the open windows and shutter cracks of the homes that lined the simple road. Inside their room it was dark. So long outside at nighttime none of them had thought to light the lanterns in their room. Reaching out Tifa laid her hand on Cloud's arm.

"Did you want to call Yuffie?" she asked softly and Cloud shook his head, not looking away from the window.

"She'll just want to come if I call," his voice was low in the night and his statement made Tifa smile softly. She stepped in closer to the window and it brought her closer to him as well. She watched the little slivers of golden light in the darkness beyond too.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing? By leaving?"

His head turned and he looked over at her but she continued to stare at the night beyond, brows low over her eyes.

"I feel like I'm running away," she supplied softly. "I made a promise to stop Shinra and the first thing I do is run away."

"Bait and switch." Cloud's voice was quiet and she raised her face to look at him. He was looking back out the window again but his arm slipped around her shoulders and she leaned into him with a relieved sigh. "They're expecting us to come at them one way and we'll come at them from another. There are reactors on the other continent and fewer supplies to repair them with. We'll finish things with Shinra. For all they've done."

Tifa knew. One day she'd ask Cloud exactly what had been done to him. Ask him what exactly he was. But not now. Not tonight with the golden light in the darkness beyond them and his arm around her so that she could press in against his side. She cared – it was just that whatever he said wouldn't change anything inside her.

She was in love with Cloud Strife as he was. Whatever had brought him to that point was just another part of that whole.

Content, she laid her head on his shoulder and let the night slip up on her and lull her heart.

'Marlene… Denzel… Aerith… do you see me? Do you know I'm going to be all right?'

_000  
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_okay - absolutely unrelated but if you enjoy Zack and Cloud vids - FPTrebirth has an awesome one over on YouTube titled Break Me Down. They're freaking a-mazing with masking and vid cuts!_


	44. Chapter 44: Peace

Chapter 44: Peace

Tifa sank her toes into the warm sand and shut her eyes with a long exhale. When she opened them again, she drew in a deep breath and the air was full of warm salt, rampant flowers and night breezes.

Paradise.

Somehow, through everything, Tifa had ended up in paradise.

Behind her the wind moved through the palm trees and it sounded almost like rain. In front of her the waves whispered up onto the shore and back out to sea again, sharing ancient secrets with the land over and over again. The night was full of stars in a deep blue sky and under her feet the sand was warm from sleeping in the sun all day long. Content, Tifa sank down to sit in the sand.

During the day the beach was crowded with people, strangers passing in and out. Loud children, young people trying to impress each other, high-ranking executives forgetting to leave their work behind them. In the early evening it was all young couples and honey mooners strolling along the water's edge with stars above and stars in their eyes. Now though – this late at night – Tifa had the beach to herself.

They'd come to Costa del Sol two weeks ago, catching a ride with a cargo steamer that didn't mind a few extra passengers if they had the gil to pay. Gil Zack and Cloud both apparently had and Tifa didn't ask how. They'd found a small cottage, lost back where all the artists and professional entertainers that flocked to tourist hot spots like this lived. Tifa had gotten a job almost immediately at the local bar because she was willing to work any shift they needed, even the really late ones like tonight. It made the gil come in fluidly and she didn't have to worry too much about the customers getting rude. After the days spent fighting monsters and hiking for miles – she found she was a lot more fit than she'd been before and her moves more effective and fast. She was proud of that – and after she'd laid out the first groper on the floor, the rest of the patrons started to respect that as well. Now she dug her long fingers into the sand behind her and leaned back, tipping her head to enjoy the stars above.

No Mako reactor. No green smog.

Sometimes – most times – Tifa liked to pretend this was her future. Working a job she enjoyed, living in a crowded, friendly little house with people she cared about. Spending her nights on the beach watching the stars…

She felt him behind her before he made noise so that she'd know he was there and she smiled even though she didn't turn around. Cloud came up next to her and sat down, leaning back on his own hands. He smelled like ocean and sun and sunscreen lotion. He'd gotten a job working on one of the fishing boats that went out deep early every morning to bring back the rare fish that the patrons would pay a great deal to eat in the expensive restaurants that night. She thought – she thought he enjoyed it. He always came back tired but relaxed looking and his skin was slowly starting to warm into a darker color. Cloud had fair skin and burned easily. Luckily it hadn't taken a genius to figure that out. He'd wash up after the boat got back to the dock in the late afternoon, usually with a swim in the ocean and then nap. More nights than not, he'd end up at the bar during Tifa's shift, sitting on his stool near the wall with a single drink in his hands. As they had at Seventh Heaven, the patrons got used to him being there and accepted his presence after the first few nights.

Tifa was fairly sure everyone thought they were dating. Since no one said anything out loud, she didn't have to stumble through trying to correct it though. As bohemian as their neighbors were, Tifa nicely enough didn't have to try to explain how she'd ended up living in a tiny house with two men her age she wasn't related to.

Zack had gotten a job as a tour guide of all things and Tifa was fairly sure that the ratio of females wanting to see the sights of 'beautiful del Sol' had tripled since he'd signed on. His boss probably couldn't stop pinching himself over the increase in business, Tifa thought with a smile.

Red, of course, didn't work but he'd disappear into the surrounding area for several days at a time only to be back at home, dozing on the couch, when they came in. Tifa always made a big deal over him and the guys tended to roll their eyes and pretend they didn't care. Even though she noticed Zack ordering from the delivery place that they all knew Red seemed to enjoy the food from most whenever the large carnivore came back from one of his extended journeys.

Now Tifa sighed and shifted over to lay on her back and rest her head on Cloud's thigh, his raised other leg keeping the sand from blowing into her face. This was their time – sitting on the beach in the middle of the night, watching the stars. Zack and Red were a constant part of Tifa's day and she loved it. After work however, before she'd go home, she'd sit on the beach with Cloud, who always came whether he'd been at the bar or not. This was their time. It was just for her and Cloud and neither of their other two companions ever tried to disturb it or join them. As if they understood.

Tifa and Cloud needed time for only each other.

It centered Tifa, being able to be near him in the silence but she wasn't the one that had started their habit. She'd come to the beach on her own one night after work when Cloud hadn't been there and settled down to enjoy the silence and the stars. Cloud had found her and silently sat down near her.

The next night he'd found her on the beach and sat near her again.

At first he'd sat a little bit apart, as if he didn't want to disturb her, but Tifa hadn't needed time to herself, she'd needed silence and peace. She found those with Cloud. So the third night, she'd scooted over to sit with her arm resting against his and since then it had become their own private routine.

Soft, Cloud's hand rose and gently brushed over Tifa's hair where it pooled against and over his thigh. She smiled but didn't take her eyes from the stars, exhaling in contentment as peace washed through her. At times like this it didn't matter if Cloud was in love with her or not. He loved her. She knew it, could feel it, and it was a quiet, precious, sure jewel in the center of her heart.

Sometimes – times like this – she had to make sure she didn't say anything. Because if she did, she knew she'd tell him she loved him – more, that she was _**in**_ love with him – and she didn't dare. So it was easier to stay quiet and just enjoy the warm silence between them.

At times like this she could almost pretend they were normal and had nothing else in their lives but what was there in these moments.

No Mako reactors, no Shinra, no horrible tubes full of green energy, no Turks hunting for them…

Tifa's eyelids drifted closed and her lips relaxed into a smile as Cloud's gentle caress continued against her hair. She lifted a hand to lay the back of it against his thigh next to her head, fingers curled lightly upward. And it was all right. Because he needed these moments with her as much as she needed them with him.

For a long time they stayed that way and then finally Cloud's hand slid under Tifa's head and then slid down her back to lift her a little. She opened her eyes, lazy and full of the night and gave him a smile that he returned almost shyly. For such a weathered warrior there were still parts of him that were young and vulnerable. Tifa loved that about him too and she sat up with a hum and lightly touched his cheek. In these private moments she was allowed to touch him that way and not worry that he'd realize why.

He stood up when she was sitting upright on her own and offered his hand. Hers slipped easily into it, fingers curling as he drew her to her feet. Their hands parted so that they could knock the sand off of themselves and then she wrapped both of her hands around one of his arms and rested the side of her head against his shoulder as they started back toward the trees and the winding path that led back to their neighborhood and home. Still in silence. The way they came back every night.

Tifa didn't mind that some of their eccentric neighbors were still up and probably saw them this way. She knew the way it looked – and it kept the other girls away from Cloud. Not that he wasn't astoundingly clueless about the attention he got from them anyway…

It made Tifa smile against him as he opened the cottage door and slipped an arm around her to guide her into the darkness beyond. Red's strange tail tip provided the only light but Tifa knew the house from memory and wasn't worried about tripping over anything. She still let Cloud guide her. It meant he kept his arm around her a little while longer and she could press her nose into his throat and pretend she was more tired than she was just so that she could inhale the sun warmed, wonderful smell of him and feel his warmth soaking into her. He guided her into the single bedroom they all shared and got her to her bed between his and Zack's. She smiled against him again. They were still protective of her. And she continued to pretend she was barely awake just so that Cloud would settle her down onto her bed and she could turn her face into his sun lightened blond hair as he leaned over her to pull the blanket up. The way he did every night.

It was so worth sleeping in her clothes for.

He set the shoes she'd taken off when she'd first gotten to the beach and that he'd collected on their departure silently down next to her bed and then leaned over. Very tenderly, barely there, his fingertips brushed the hair back from her cheek and rested there for a minute before he pulled back and she heard him in the dark, moving over and settling down on his own bed.

Tifa lay there in the dark, full of the wonderful feeling of belonging and listening to the quiet sounds of the men sleeping on either side of her. Filled to the brim with peace, she fell asleep that way.

There were no dreams.

_000_

_not ready to quit just yet? In a shameless self-advertising ploy, I will mention that I did upload a new one-shot story called **Intangible**. demonegg already caught it. It's a little bit darker than this one but I did have fun with it and I'd love some delicious reviews :)_


	45. Chapter 45: Paradise Lost

_welcome back, gentle readers. Yeah - like I was really going to let them live happily ever after in Costa del Sol *snort*... but on to my best beloveds. Dis - yep, I should pull an Old Yeller on Cloud and Zack and have Tifa come wandering in at the end and wonder what the hell is wrong with them. And - you knew - paradise couldn't last. As for Zack, right now your guess is as good as mine - he's blithly writing himself and I haven't got a clue where he's going in that area. zi-ling - oh my consistant best beloved, yeah, I couldn't resist giving them a bit of a beach bum lifestyle for a while. Totally based it off of the Florida Keys - you know, without the drug culture. Though... Wanda's wacky jam...hmmm. Zackssister - hey and welcome to the party! Thanks for the continuity check - I write these chapters in fits and bursts and I know I've missed details before. I'll go back and fix it when I get the chance so thanks for the head's up. And yeah... dear little sister Yuffie - you just HAVE to have siblings to show up and ruin 'moments'. Of course, when they don't , you end up with things like Chapter 47.... And, speaking of which, to my lovely Peeka-chan for putting up with my fascination with dashes in the middle of sentences, you liked it so Chapter 47 is for you and now I'm going to have to find more ways to include weather in my story ;) Also, Red asks - if he eats Zack, does he win 'favorite spot' by default?_

Chapter 45: Paradise Lost

Zack was whining. It was cute and a little bit humorous – but it was definitely whining.

"Are we done yet?" he wanted to know and when Tifa just shook her head and otherwise ignored him, he turned around to tell Cloud:

"I told you we just should have run, man. No matter how sweet the woman seems, when they go shopping they turn Pure Evil."

Cloud, his own arms as full of packages as Zack's were, didn't comment, apparently going with 'stoic' as his defense against the insult of being dragged into shopping. Tifa rolled her eyes at both of them and looked down at Red next to her. Red didn't need clothes but Tifa suspected he'd come along to laugh silently at the men. She turned her attention back to Zack.

"Look. We're almost out of clothes. Short of what we came here in, you've only got that obnoxious neon colored flower shirt – "

"Hey!"

"And I can't keep patching up Cloud's two t-shirts, though I can only assume his boat mates actually use him as bait the way those things get ripped up."

"…."

"So we're going to buy you both clothes. And me as well because I still can't figure out what was in 'Wanda's Wacky Jam' but the stain isn't coming out of my dress."

"It tasted like blueberries."

"Oh… Zack… you actually _ate_ that?"

"Cloud helped."

"…."

"Did I not just mention that whatever Wanda put into it – it's permanent enough to stain fabric – after several washing and various home remedies."

"It tasted like blueberries."

"Just for that you're getting an extra shirt."

"Teeeeeeef!"

"Extra shirt, Zack. Cloud, you can't wear dark colors all the time. Don't you get hot out on the boat dressed in black? Don't look at me that way, Cloud Strife. Okay, fine. Get the shirt. No, Zack. No!"

"But, Teef – it's got little tiki men in-between the giant flowers. I can make them dance when I wiggle the shirt. See?"

"It's like shopping with five year olds," Tifa commented to the air in general.

And right about then was when the screaming started. Surprisingly, it wasn't Zack.

All four of them jerked around toward the sound. And at almost the same time, they all dropped what they were holding and bolted toward it.

The main shopping district of Costa del Sol was near the docks. It was the first thing disembarking cruise passengers passed and the last thing they went through on their way out. As marketing ploys went, Tifa thought it was pretty clever. The screaming was coming from the docks and Tifa followed behind Cloud and Zack, letting them be the break between her and the crowd running in the opposite direction from them. Behind the taller men, Tifa saw what they saw a little bit later than they did.

There was a newly arrived cruise ship but it wasn't docked at the port. It had run aground into the dock itself and now it listed badly to the side. By the time they arrived, most of what was left of the docks was cleared of people and Tifa raised her face to see – something – moving on top of the deck of the ship. Something huge and – discolored. Monster?

"Shit," Zack commented just as Tifa realized the same thing. The guys had left their swords at home. Giant cutlery wasn't exactly the kind of thing you wore around town when you were trying to fit in.

"Red!" Tifa turned but the giant beast was already bounding back the way they'd come. Tifa turned back to the – the thing twisting unnaturally on the ship. Logically, they should wait until Red got back with the swords…

"Cloud!" Zack scooped up a large beach umbrella from a nearby outdoor café and tossed it to the blond man. The look on Cloud's face was dubious but he caught the umbrella one handed. Zack pulled up one for himself and turned back to see Cloud had broken off the tines and the fabric of the umbrella, leaving him with a jagged pole.

"I was gonna do that," Zack commented, following suit. Cloud's blue eyes found Tifa's brown ones.

"Stay back."

She'd hung around Zack too long.

"Like hell."

"Tifa – this isn't a normal -"

"Incoming!" Zack announced as the discolored creature seemed to pour over the side of the ship and onto the dock. Tifa had never seen anything like it before and she'd gotten pretty used to fighting monsters in their travels. This though… this was _wrong_. She couldn't think of any other word to describe it. Her body itself reacted to the unnatural nature of it - gut twisting as her skin crawled. The color was – wrong. Sickly and dead looking and the way it moved – everything about it screamed that - somehow – it wasn't right. It shouldn't _be_. Tifa wasn't about to let the boys fight it alone though, especially since they didn't have their swords or materia. Unarmed combat was her strength.

For people fighting with umbrellas, Cloud and Zack proved they could still deal out damage and Tifa moved in to take advantage of the weak spots they opened up for her, her skin shuddering each time it came into contact with the bizarre monster's flesh. She took damage too. They all took damage. The creature threw electric around like water and more than once it drove Tifa to her knees. And then Red was there with her gloves and the boys already had their swords. She pulled the gloves on and saw the materia already in its slots on them. Clenching her fists, she felt the familiar fabric and weight.

She was surprised to find she was smiling as she moved back into combat.

She didn't see who struck the killing blow but finally the creature was shuddering and collapsing into itself and watching that was almost disturbing enough to make Tifa feel sick to her stomach. There was just something so – _unnatural _about it. Tifa couldn't explain it but ever fiber in her felt it. She moved closer to Cloud as they stepped forward to look at it.

"It's – shrinking?" Zack asked cautiously and Tifa thought he was right. Cloud's face was set and pale under his tight skin. The once huge monster continued shrinking until suddenly it was not only smaller than the swords the guys used, it was shaped like:

"Is that – an arm?" Tifa asked, feeling sick to her stomach again and almost pressing her fingers to her lips before realizing she really wanted to wash her hands before she touched anything else, especially her mouth. Cloud's face was white at the edges of his lips and eyes.

"Holy – " Zack managed as the arm flickered and dissolved into nothing but a jelled mass that smelled of rot and dark cave floors. Tifa pressed her hand over her mouth despite her best intentions and even Zack looked pale. But Cloud –

Cloud looked as if he'd seen a ghost. No. Cloud looked as if one of his nightmares had just walked into reality. The mess on the dock bubbled and disappeared, leaving a discolored mark on the wood and a horrible smell in the air. Tifa looked over at Cloud, worried on more levels than she had been originally. Like a man in a trance, Cloud started forward and Zack shot Tifa a questioning look she returned without an answer. Together they both followed Cloud as he climbed the ramp of the ship.

The deck was littered with dead bodies.

"Oh – no…" it slipped out of her despite the fact it was a pointless thing to say and Tifa knelt to touch one of the newly dead. Red stood next to her and even his golden eyes looked sad. Cloud moved forward, brows low over his eyes now and he stooped to turn over body after body. Zack caught on to what he was doing before Tifa did.

"These aren't electric burns."

Tifa looked at the dead body she was gently laying back down and realized he was right. None of the wounds she'd gotten from the monster had looked like these. In fact – the wounds on the discarded dead looked –

They looked a lot more like the wounds on the monster. They looked like sword slices. Cloud straightened from the last body on the deck. Tifa had seen how full these cruise ships could be and knew there would be more bodies inside the ship. Cloud's face was set and empty.

"This is my fault." Cloud's voice was quiet. And utterly hollow.

"What?" Zack jumped in right away. "That's crazy!"

Tifa stood up and walked over to put her hand on Cloud's arm and for the first time he turned his face away from her. He didn't shrug her hand off though.

"Cloud?" she asked softly. And almost reluctant, he told her:

"Sephiroth."

Zack recognized the word before Tifa did and came over to stand next to her.

"Sephiroth? The SOLDIER that died in the Wutai War?"

Cloud's head jerked once in his single nod and he looked young, still looking away from them both. Tifa felt the sudden need to protect him which hardly made sense considering he was the one that swung a giant, oversized sword around as if it was a broom handle. But she slipped her hand down into his, matted glove to matted glove, and gave a light tug.

"Not here." Standing amid dead bodies, covered in gore wasn't the place for questions or confessions. Which is what she thought might be coming. "Come on," she gave Cloud's hand a light tug and he came with her as she started to move away from the carnage. Zack, frowning, followed, looking back at the bodies.

Tifa waited until they were back at their cottage. She hoped that someone would collect and set aside the packages they'd bought and dropped but going back for them right now wasn't a priority. She got her boys all into the tiny living room area of their home and then went and got damp wash clothes for everyone and cold drinks. Cloud still wore the young, haunted look on his face and Tifa had to resist the urge to just pull him into her arms and hold him. He wasn't a little kid though, no matter what his eyes looked like, and she knew being held wasn't what he needed at the moment. So she handed him a washcloth and set the drink down on the table in front of him. Then she sat down on the table too, stripping off her gloves and methodically washed her face before starting on cleaning her hands. She was content to work in silence until Cloud was ready but Zack spoke up immediately:

"So what's this with Sephiroth? He's like, the greatest hero SOLDIER's ever turned out. They said it took a whole Wutai battalion to take him down. Its one of the reasons the war ended so quickly afterward. The Shinra grunts went nuts when they found out."

Cloud, methodical washing his hands, shook his head and didn't look up. His voice was rough.

"It only took one person to kill him. A Shinra grunt."

"What?" Zack all but jumped in surprise and he leaned closer to Cloud.

"I… killed him," Cloud confessed without pride, the words sounding stuck in his throat. "He – found something. In Wutai. He went crazy. He killed... everyone." Cloud's head shook, not in denial, but as if he were trying to shake away the things only he could see in front of his eyes. Tifa reached out and took his hand. His fingers closed unconsciously tight over hers. He pulled in a breath. "Shinra, Wutai, innocents and soldiers, he was killing everyone. There was a little girl – defending… _it_."

"Yuffie?"

Cloud nodded, buried deep in his memories and Zack shot Tifa a look that she shook her head at. Later…

"He was going to kill her. I – couldn't let him. I – used a friend's sword. Caught Sephiroth in the back. He – almost killed me but – I thought – I thought I'd killed him."

Cloud lowered his pale head into his hands, forgetting that one of Tifa's was still tangled with his and she leaned forward and let her fingers curve around his cool cheek.

"I don't – I don't remember it right," Cloud's voice was frustrated. "I can't – its all bits and pieces in my head. I thought I killed him."

"We need to call Yuffie," Tifa looked at Zack. "Cloud's adopted sister in Wutai."

Zack nodded but he leaned closer to Cloud.

"Hey." His voice was surprisingly soft and gentle and he laid a hand on Cloud's bowed shoulder. "What did Sephiroth find, Cloud? What made him go nuts?"

"It," Cloud's voice reflected repulsion in the way he bit the word out. "Jenova. Some – creature that had been buried in pure solidified Mako for centuries. Wutai had it. It had been a secret project between Shinra and Wutai until Wutai pulled the plug on it. It was the real reason Shinra attacked them. The Mako reactor is just to add insult to injury. That was its arm we fought, back on the dock. I don't know what it is. Just – it."

"It made Sephiroth go crazy?" Zack asked and Cloud finally raised his head and there was something in his blank eyes and the way he leveled them so calmly at Zack that made Tifa's heart suddenly stop and twist painfully in her chest.

"No. Sephiroth went crazy when he realized he was created from Jenova. That he was a part of that monster."


	46. Chapter 46: Sleeping Arrangements

Chapter 46: Sleeping Arrangements

Cloud didn't call Yuffie. Tifa thought, maybe, he was afraid of what he might hear. Instead they just packed their backpacks and they went. Well, not quite that fast. They all gave notice at their jobs and spent the rest of the day spending their gil on supplies for the road. They'd intended to sleep one last night in their beds and then start off in the morning but as night fell they all found themselves putting on their packs and slipping out the door. Tifa locked the cottage and slipped the key under the mat where's she'd found it originally and felt a pang in her heart. She'd healed in that little house, in this land of warm breezes and salt water and friendly eccentrics. There was still a hollow place in her heart for the family and friends she'd lost in Midgar but it didn't threaten to consume her anymore. For just a little while – she'd led a normal life. Been allowed to act her age and play house with the man she loved and their best friend. Gentle, while the boys weren't looking, she pressed a kiss to the tips of her fingers and then pressed it against the doorpost. Then she turned and fell into step next to the others and without looking back, left behind Costa del Sol and its midnight beach.

Cloud was silent and withdrawn as they walked and Tifa didn't try to disturb that. She knew that sometimes you needed to hide inside a shell for a little while. She had and just like Cloud had protected her while she did, she intended to do the same for him. Zack strode at the head of their group, stretching his long legs while Red followed at the back and ranged out into the grasslands on brief stints. Tifa had to admit, as the night wore on – it felt good to be moving again. She hadn't felt restless while she was in Costa del Sol but now that she was traveling again, it was as if she'd been wanting to for a very long time.

They had a vague plan of how they were going to reach Wutai but no definite points that had to be met. Their pace was a bit faster than it had been the last time they'd traveled but Tifa had no problem keeping up now. They took things at their own time. Sometime about noon they found a stand of trees and decided to take a quick nap and eat before going on. The boys went off to find water and Tifa made the lunch – thankfully they were only just out of del Sol and so she had more to work with than noodles – though, looking in Zack's pack she noticed it was almost all tuna. Red joined her and she affectionately scratched behind one of his ears and exhaled.

"Aerith and I had joked about going to Wutai on our next vacation," she told him softly. He was the only one in the party she ever talked to about her dead. "I wanted to take the kids somewhere with sunshine. I was just – " she looked down at him and confessed. "I was waiting for dad to die. Because he couldn't travel and his medicine took up all the extra gil we had." She pressed her lips together and looked off in the direction the guys had gone, absently scratching at the base of Red's strange Mohawk mane where she knew he liked it.

"I always felt like less of a daughter for thinking that way. Waiting for him to die. And now he is – but it doesn't matter anymore. All the reasons I was waiting don't seem like they were good enough reasons now."

He made a softly huffing noise and she looked down into his golden eyes. Gave him a soft smile.

"I'm okay. It's just – our family always lived vicarious though each other. I guess – I guess now I'm doing the living for all of us."

After the break they were back up and hiking again. The scenery changed very little and Tifa still found herself stopping to collect the low growing wild flowers. She'd never been a flower collector before. Except their cottage in del Sol had always had fresh flowers in vases in the rooms thanks to her and now she soon found herself with a handful again. It was Aerith's fault. Flowers made her think of her best friend and that was comforting. Aerith would have liked the flowers.

She wondered if Zack was walking backward into his memories the way she and Cloud seemed to be.

Evening drifted in and they stopped more to set the pattern than because anyone was tired. Cloud went off to find more water, Zack set up the camp and Tifa figured out what everyone was eating. It had already been decided to leave the 'cooking' to Tifa. She was more creative with what they had and from short trial and error last time, they'd already figured out that the guys had no notion of making food last.

"Hey, Teef?" Zack dropped to his heels next to her as she put things together and she looked at him curiously. Zack's brows were down and his eyes were almost violet in the evening. He shifted a little and she realized he was feeling awkward. She hadn't known Zack could feel awkward.

"Yes?" she encouraged gently and he frowned. Finally asked seriously:

"Why does Cloud have a hard time remembering things?" His shoulder shifted. "I mean, when he was talking about Sephiroth he said he couldn't remember more than bits and pieces. And he won't talk to me about how he remembers me when I don't remember him. I don't want to pry – "

"I know," Tifa stopped him. Knowing he was worried she'd get defensive of Cloud and jump all over him. Technically – it was Cloud's secret and not hers to give away. Except – she didn't think he'd tell Zack. And Zack was a part of them now.

"Mako poisoning," she answered, laying a hand on Zack's arm as he knelt next to where she was sitting. "When I found Cloud – re-found Cloud – in Midgar – he was suffering from Mako poisoning. And it wasn't the first time."

Zack blinked and frowned in thought. Mako was concentrated Lifestream. And what was Lifestream but the memories of all the dead that had gone before? Tifa knew SOLDIERs were humans infused with Mako – but Mako poisoning was thousands of times what was done to SOLDIERs. All those memories, all that _other_ forced into a body and through a mind. And Cloud had gone through it at least twice that Tifa knew of – but maybe a great many times more.

How did anyone keep their own mind and soul separated from that, much less their memories?

Zack exhaled a low breath and shook his head.

"…wow," was his only low comment and Tifa nodded.

"…yeah."

Dinner was quiet but not awkward and the clean up was fast. For a while afterward they all just sat together around the fire, content in each other's company. Finally Cloud stood up.

"I'll take first watch."

Quick, Tifa shot Zack a look. He gave her a puzzled look and she brought her brows down and glared at him.

"Uh," Zack stood up too. "I'll do that." He shot Tifa a look and she nodded in satisfaction. "Right," Zack grinned, smacking his fist into his palm, and looked back at Cloud with a nod. "First watch – that's me! I'm too wired to sleep."

Cloud gave the other man a mildly puzzled look but nodded.

"Okay."

"Good," Zack gave a decisive nod and headed a little away from the camp to find a good spot to settle in. Cloud's eyes slid back to the fire – to Tifa – but she was sitting with an arm around Red and didn't look like she was ready for bed yet. Moving over, he got his mat from his pack and made himself a bed a little away from the fire where he turned his back to it and settled in. Tifa watched him once he'd turned away. She'd felt… Cloud had been keeping a distance between them since the fight on the dock. No. Not since then. Since his confession about Sephiroth. And she didn't think it was the Sephiroth part of his confession that caused him to put up distance between them.

She'd thought – she'd thought if she lay down before Cloud did, he might end up sleeping on the other side of the camp from her. She let the fire die down a little more. She was working up the nerve – convincing herself what she had planned was the right thing. Then she gave Red a last pat and stood up, gathering up her own bedding and moving over to lay it down next to Cloud's. The same way he'd laid down near her every night of their last journey when she'd been so hurt and alone inside. He didn't move as she settled down and she knew he was awake because he wasn't breathing slow and steady the way he usually did. He didn't seem to be breathing at all. She settled down on her side facing his back –

And could still feel the walls between them.

She pressed her lips together as she looked at the solid wall of his dark back. Then, hesitantly, she scooted off of her own mat and onto his. He stiffened when he felt her move in but he didn't move away from her. Ignoring his stiffness, she slipped a hand over his side, squeezing it between where he had his arms folded across his chest. Pressing closer she curled her own body around his and pressed her cheek into that wonderful, perfect spot between his shoulder blades. Then she exhaled and shut her eyes. For a very long time she lay that way and Cloud didn't relax. Or pull away from her. Tifa had to force herself not to tense as the seconds ticked past. Feeling awkward and possibly unwanted. Finally Cloud's voice came, soft in the darkness and it held that low note that she loved to hear.

"Tifa…"

"I don't care," she answered back just as softly but there was a fierceness in her and her arm around him tightened. She pressed her face into his back. "I told you before. I don't care. You're my Cloud. That's all I care about."

"Tifa…" his voice was almost an exhale of sound and it sounded hopeless. But, after a minute more, his gloved hand found hers where it pressed against his chest and closed around it. Holding her against him that way. He didn't roll over to face her or move otherwise but he held her hand all night long over the beat of his heart. Tifa lay awake in the dark for most of the night and held him against her that way as well. Her body was a thin, but determined barrier between him and all the darkness that wanted the man in her arms for itself.

When she woke up in the morning, Tifa was alone. She was still lying on Cloud's mat though, and both of their blankets were over her and tucked in around her. She could smell him, that clean lightening scent on his blanket, and she tucked her nose into it and laid that way for a while longer. Then she got up and packed everything away. Cloud was gone and Zack didn't mention where she'd slept last night. But he did comment as he handed her a breakfast bar and the canteen:

"Cloud seems better. He grunted at me on the way past this morning. He must be feeling cheerful."

It made Tifa chuckle and she grinned at him over the canteen top. Zack's face softened and he shook his head.

"He's lucky to have you," he stated softly and Tifa gave him an odd look.

"You have me too," she reminded him and he just gave her a crooked smile and took the canteen back from her to take a swallow himself.

Cloud came back with Red shortly after that and they started off again. Cloud remained silent but the barrier wasn't there between him and the rest of the team, even if he was still withdrawn.

That night Zack took first watch again and Cloud laid out his sleeping mat, turning his back to the fire again and lying on his side. And, maybe Tifa was just imagining it because she wanted to, but he seemed to be waiting. With a smile to herself – she was really being stupid – because eventually they were going to get where they were going and she was going to have to stop and she already knew she wouldn't want to – Tifa set her own mat down right against his and shifted over to snuggle up against his back again, draping her blanket over both of them and sliding an arm around him. His hand found and covered hers immediately and Tifa fell asleep with her body curled against his back, warm and content, head comfortably tucked between his shoulder blades.

She woke up vaguely during the night when Zack roused Cloud for his watch with an amused murmur of:

"Come on, Lover Boy. Your shift."

She only stayed awake long enough to feel Cloud slip out of her arms – and then turn around to gently settle her into the warmth his body had left behind and tuck both blankets around her again. His fingers brushed her cheek and it made her smile without opening her eyes. They were all right. Cloud was all right. The knowledge relaxed her and lulled her to sleep again, still surrounded by his remembered warmth and the clean scent of him.

They were all going to be all right.


	47. Chapter 47: Storms

Chapter 47: Storms

The next day shortly into their morning walk, the wind picked up and Tifa smelled a sharp, clean smell on it. Looking to the vast horizon, still bright blue with early morning she saw –

"Rain."

Both of the men turned their heads to look as well though they'd no doubt already figured it out too and Zack reached up to scratch the back of his head.

"Crap," he'd picked up the word from Tifa. "I don't think there's a village anywhere around here. We're gonna get wet."

Tifa, who could walk and look in another direction at the same time just as well as anyone else, kept her head turned over her shoulder to watch the gray clouds forming. The breeze against her face felt cool and promised wet and it made her smile.

It didn't rain under the Plates. Tifa was still in love with the concept of water that fell from the sky.

Cloud looked at the gray buildup too and then calmly shifted his direction a little to the south. Since he was in the lead everyone else followed though Tifa kept casting looks over her shoulder. Soon she could see the gray line that marked where the rain was actually falling in the distance.

She knew she was going to get wet and it would make everything miserable for the rest of the trip - unless it was a light rain and the sun came out early enough to dry them all off. She still couldn't scowl at the thought of rain. She'd fallen in love with rain in Costa del Sol where it fell as warm as bath water and cleared away to reveal breathtaking skies and brilliant colored sunsets. There was something wild and iced and rough about the way the rain coming toward them smelled though and Tifa wanted that too.

By the time they reached the stand of trees Cloud had been angling them toward the wind was strong and rough and carried little drops of water with it. It tugged at Tifa's dark hair, threatening to pull it out of the loose ponytail she'd taken to putting it in since she hadn't had time to get a hair cut and it was longer than she was used to. Its chill lay over her skin but only the first layer and she found herself turning her face into it so that she could slit her eyes and enjoy the way it felt, pushing at her almost roughly.

"Lockhart!" Zack gestured to her from where he and Cloud were already setting up their sleeping mats in a rough shelter deeper in the trees. "Get your cute little body under here before it starts raining."

In answer, Tifa slid her pack off her shoulders and handed it down to Red and then stepped further away from the cover of the trees. She spread her arms forward as if she were waiting for someone to come racing in to them and shut her eyes, tipping her head to the sky. The wild wind tore the ribbon she'd been using on her hair free and pushed it back from her face so that it could spatter her with the beginning dozen tiny cold kisses of rain. It made her smile and she drew in a deep breath. She'd get soaked, she knew – and it just didn't really matter.

Zack muttered something in the background about crazy women that the wind pulled away from his lips and ran away with but he sounded like he was smiling. The first wave of the storm hit Tifa then, a thousand tiny explosions of cold against her skin, the smell of wildness and strength in her nose. She left her eyes closed and braced against the push of it, raising her face for more. And then there was warmth against her back and hands that slid down to curve around her hips and drew her back against a solid form. That made Tifa smile too and she tipped her head back to rest the back of it against Cloud's shoulder so her face could stay tipped to the wild rain, parting her lips just a little so she could taste it too, cold and wild on her tongue. Cloud's hands slid, dragged, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and she hoped he thought the way it made her tremble was because of the cold of the storm. Suddenly the cold rain was welcome because it also hid the heat that flared across her cheeks and she let the wind push her back against Cloud.

He was crazy. He was going to get wet, standing there in the rain with her.

She was so glad that he was.

Hands already dripping water she laid them over Cloud's and focused on the storm and the rain pouring down on both of them. With Cloud, solid and steady behind her, she didn't have to worry about the wind getting too rough and her hair quickly dampened down enough so that it plastered itself to both of them instead of whipping around. The thunder rumbled in the distance and deep in her chest but it was far away. There was just the wild rain whipped up over the plains and rushing its way inland. Tifa left her head back against Cloud's shoulder and let the water pour down over her face.

Tifa wasn't storm wind though and eventually the cold started to seep past the surface of her skin. With a low humming sound, she turned in Cloud's arms and found the shelter and warmth of his chest. His hands moved on her, sliding up her back, the other burying itself in her wet hair at the back of her neck. His touch felt as wild and controlled as the storm to Tifa's chilled skin. It was as if the storm had somehow gotten inside her chest and was busy raging through her veins, all cold power and wild need. When Cloud's fingers tightened in her hair, on the back of her head, pressed into the skin of her back and ribs through the fabric of her shirt strongly enough that she could feel the pressure of them it made –

it made her want to do the same. Made her want to push past his jacket and his shirt and bury herself against his skin. Her fingers knotted in the fabric of his shirt, nails digging in to hold him tighter and she turned her face enough to press it into his throat. Wanting – needing…

storm. She wanted Cloud to be her storm…

"Hey! Crazies!" Zack's voice from the safety of the trees. Amused but unapologetic. "Lightning's coming closer."

Yes, Tifa's mind thought. And then that single brain cell that somehow managed to keep functioning around Cloud from time to time reminded her what that really meant. And reminded her of what Cloud would probably think if he had the slightest idea of the edge her mind had just been slipping over. She felt her cheeks flush again and she was glad her face was hidden against Cloud.

"Come on," she murmured, starting to shift to move out of his arms. Except Cloud's arms tightened around her and his fingers dug in. That wonderful weightless jolt ran through Tifa and for a second it left her utterly helpless to do anything but cling to him the way she had been. Oh, yes, please, her heart wanted her to whisper and the only thing that stopped her was – she thought she'd already whimpered. The same way her knees wanted to give out on her and –

and what? Her cheeks really did go a deep red as her mind finally caught up with the physical responses her body was wanting to have and ran into that place where common sense hit up against absolute inexperience and tangled up with 'oh Gaia… _what_ was I thinking?!'. She had to struggle to pull in an unsteady breath and it didn't help that it smelled like storm and Cloud. Her cheeks refused to lose their heat.

"Cl- cloud?" she managed to get out helplessly, the confusion at what the heck she was doing spilling into the word. She felt Cloud jerk in a breath and it jerked a rough sound out of him as well. His fingers in her hair knotted.

And then they relaxed and he exhaled, hand sliding through her wet hair to stroke gently against the back of her head.

"Come on," his voice was rough and low and he drew away to take her hand. Tifa kept her face low, only able to imagine what he'd think if he saw how hot her cheeks were still burning. She wove her fingers through his and let him lead her back into the shelter of the trees. The rain still fell here too but not blindingly and Tifa reached up to drag the fingers of her free hand over her eyes to clear them of water. And buy herself time to start breathing normally again.

Comforting touches was one thing. What she'd been thinking hadn't been about comfort though. What if she'd just lost the ability to be with Cloud comfortably because she'd let herself - ?!

Zack was chuckling and he held out a blanket for Tifa from under the cover of the mats.

"You're both nuts, you know that?" he asked cheerfully and Tifa was grateful for his normality. She ducked her head and smiled sheepishly as she wrung out her soaked hair. With a whispered 'thank you' she took the blanket from Zack and wrapped it around herself, hunching down to scoot into the shelter of the mats, being very careful not to look at Cloud. Red, comfortably dry, made a grumbling noise when she settled down with her back against his side and it made her chuckle.

"That's what you get for being dry," she told him unrepentantly and proceeded to start unlacing her boots.

"Huh," Zack scooted back into the shelter next to her and she looked up. Aware that, even as close as they were pushed together to stay out of the rain, Cloud wasn't with them.

"Cloud?" she asked and Zack shook his head. Jerked a thumb outside the shelter.

"Checking the area before we settle in for the night. I swear, sometimes he tries to show me up just to prove being SOLDIER First Class isn't all that."

Tifa exhaled a laugh but her eyes moved worriedly to the opening.

Had he noticed she was acting funny? Was he avoiding her because of it? Her only real hope of salvation was that Cloud seemed to be hopelessly clueless about women. She'd witnessed that often enough in Costa del Sol with the other barmaids and the tourists that came with partners or without. That reassured her a little bit and she settled in against Zack and Red, shrugging out of what wet clothing she could without revealing anything.

This was definitely the last time she stood out in a storm like that with Cloud though. That just wasn't safe for either of them.

She was braiding her hair by the time Cloud came back and feeling enough like herself that she could give him a soft smile. He returned it, just as softly, and then settled in on the other side of Zack.

"Why am I getting wet when I wasn't one of the crazies standing out in the rain?" Zack complained good naturedly and Red gave a grumble that sounded suspiciously like 'shut up and take it'. Which made Tifa start laughing and she felt much more centered as she tossed her finished braid over her shoulder and cheerfully asked:

"So – who's hungry?"

Tifa had found that food was a good solution to all kinds of things, and it helped her now, settling any worries she'd had about awkwardness between her and Cloud. He took the cold pouches from her easily enough, no hesitation in his moves and he contributed with his usual short answers as she and Zack carried the conversation. By the end of the meal Tifa was starting to feel the discomfort of damp clothes and the comfort of knowing that Cloud didn't have a clue what had been going through her head out in the storm with him earlier.

For which she was eternally grateful.

There wasn't much to do after that considering the rain was still coming down, now in a constant pattern since it had spent its earlier wildness. Tifa snuggled back against Red and dozed while the guys took naps as well as they could too. Soldiers apparently had the ability to go to sleep just about anywhere in just about any position, Tifa had noticed.

By late afternoon the storm had left behind a constant drizzle and Tifa crawled out from under the shelter to stretch her legs, cold and cramped from sitting in such a small position for so long. She hoped none of them caught a cold because of this. Heroes in stories didn't catch colds while on long, epic quests but Tifa wasn't in a story and she knew colds usually didn't care if you had anything important going on when they showed up.

The trees blocked most of the rain but none of the damp and chill. Even if she did change into something dry, it would be uncomfortably damp again in no time. She let herself daydream about a nice hot bath as she wandered back to their impromptu camp and crawled back under the shelter.

"Anything?" Zack asked without opening his eyes, bent forward over his raised knees. She shook her head and settled back down against Red.

"Nothing."

"Good. It's too wet to fight."

They spent the rest of the fading day dozing and alternately getting up to stretch their legs and wander around their small section of trees. Night fell and the rain stopped but the cold moved in. Finally Cloud stood up and rolled his shoulders.

"Let's keep going," he looked down at his companions and no one argued. Sleeping, really sleeping, as damp as they all were wasn't likely and the cold was starting to move into muscles and joints. "North Corel is just a little way over."


	48. Chapter 48: Corel

_Here we are again, gentle readers. I just want to state up front that I take **no** responsibility for Cloud's actions at all - ever - from this point on at least. Now that that's out of the way - zi-ling, best beloved - its true, there is a certain feeling to island culture, isn't there? I wish I'd had more opportunity to write it, it just doesn't run by the same rules as any other lifestyle in the world. And yeah - Cloud was actually not only talkative BUT informative as well. Don't worry, he's back to monosyllables now ;). Kainos Ktisis - oh you, best beloved, do my little writer soul good and fuzzy with the plethoria of reviews. I seriously cheered each time I saw a new one pop up. You're so detailed and specific and you catch the little in=game jokes I make. How happy you make me! And I reveiwed your last one shot before I even realized it was you. MAS :D Clutter my inbox anytime. Elle - I hope the rest of the story makes you as happy and enthused as the first part. Welcome to the party! Happy readers make me happy. Best beloved demonegg - I'm so glad you're back! I really did miss hearing from you but didn't want to whine and seem needy (okay, I'm needy - whiiiiine). Spot on the nose with Cloud getting as much from sleeping near Tifa as he's giving and not even realizing it. You know him well. And hey, your stories are awesome! I'm waiting cheerfully for the next chapter. I think Chapter 49 should be for you since you asked. And of course my best beloved Peek-chan who again edited me, cheered me on, and threatened me with frying pan injury. What would I ever do without you?_

Chapter 48: Corel

Walking in the cold while damp wasn't exactly enjoyable but Tifa thought it probably beat sitting around in the cold while damp. The rain had washed everything clean and the sky was sharp and clear, the stars distant and vast. It was beautiful and empty. And Tifa was still glad when she saw the warm glow from windows in the darkness beyond.

The team drew closer together as they got nearer civilization and when they were close enough that even the soft nighttime couldn't hide it anymore, Tifa made a startled noise. The – she hesitated to call it a town – it was the saddest collection of huts and lean-tos she thought she'd ever seen and long before they approached the town, the area around it lost its life and went dirty and barren. After being surrounded by life and growing things for such an extended amount of time, somehow the barrenness seemed even worse to Tifa and she reached down automatically to rest a hand on top of Red's head where he strolled along next to her.

"What happened here?" she murmured as they started down one of the dirt tracks that passed as the main street. Zack shook his head but Cloud quietly answered:

"Mako reactor. I heard it exploded."

Tifa drew closer to her companions. This place – it reeked of hopelessness. She'd never seen such sad buildings, not even in the worse parts of Midgar. She'd thought – when Cloud had said North Corel she'd remembered – she remembered that Barrett had once mentioned he was from Corel and she'd thought they might be the same. But seeing this place? Yes, Barrett had been on one of his rare drunks but it wasn't anything like what he'd described. Zack looked around and made a noise.

"Think anyone's going to open their door for us this late at night?"

Cloud came to a stop in what was probably the center of the camp and looked around. Tifa supposed an inn – and hot running water – was out of the question but Cloud jerked his head and they followed him as he led them to what looked like a small shop. His banging on the door with his fist finally brought a yell from inside but Tifa noticed, as she stood behind him next to Zack and Red, that the lights in the buildings nearby all went out and no one came to investigate. She could feel eyes peering out of the darkened windows though.

"Open up or I kick the door down," Cloud's calm voice was mild and Tifa turned her face to give the back of his head a look. She was going to have to remember that stoic didn't necessarily mean subtle.

It was effective however because the door to the shop, little more than a slab of tin that might have been part of a roof once, opened a little and a voice from inside demanded to know what they wanted.

"Some place dry to sleep. Hot water if you've got it. Something to cook our food on." Cloud didn't even wait for the door to attempt to shut in his face. Instead he calmly flashed a decent amount of gil, which seemed to do the trick because the door opened and a suspicious little old man snatched it out of his hand before retreating into the darkness of the building. The door was left open. Cloud sighed and stepped in. Zack looked over at Tifa and grinned.

"He's so charming, we should let him do all the negotiating."

Tifa snorted her laugh and followed Zack into the tiny building, pulling the door shut behind Red and dropping the bar across it.

Tifa understood that they'd just walked into a shop but to her it looked like a mix between some of the more desperate pawn shops in the slums of Midgar and the junk piles they used to play in as kids and – crap, that made her sound so snotty. But – really – she'd honestly never seen anything this disorganized and… and apathetic before. She actually had to narrow her eyes as she fought the urge to start straightening the place up, her inbuilt OCD kicking into high gear as she looked around the room and thought –

'if I just move that there, and clear some space here, I could put those there and arrange that shelf to hold those and – '

Cloud reached out and gently wrapped his hand around the front strap of her backpack and Tifa realized her hands had been clenching. His eyes met hers and she swore she saw just the tiniest hint of laughter in that blue. She gave him a warning look – and the light in that endless blue just increased. Against her will, it made the edges of her lips start to curl upward.

"Don't you dare say anything, Cloud Strife," she warned and Zack gave them a long suffering look that clearly stated – whatever they were doing – it was way over his head.

"Come on," Cloud's voice was low but the very edges of his lips shifted upward a little. "We're not sleeping in the middle of his shop."

Tifa followed him through the door set crookedly in the wall. Thinking how easy it would be to fix the door so it sat straight. How easy it would be to straighten the junk pile in the other room...

The only other room in the place was the living area/kitchen/bedroom all rolled into one and to Tifa's horror it was just as cluttered, disorganized and dirty as the show room. The old man sat definitely on his bed and scowled at Tifa.

"Ya ain't gettin' my bed," he told her and Tifa could only look with horror at the sagging, dangerous looking, disheveled thing he was sitting on and wonder when the last time he'd washed _any_ of it was.

"I'm fine with my mat," she answered positively and Zack laughed. Cloud shook his head but Tifa thought she saw a smile at the edges of his lips before he knelt down in front of the ancient looking wood stove and opened the underneath. Red walked over to join him.

"Coal?" Cloud asked.

"Sure. Not good enuff fer ya fancy types?" the old man snarled and, as bedraggled and trail worn as they were, Tifa wondered if he had actually bothered look at them. "Corel used to be all coal minin' efore that damned reactor. Fer all tha good it did us."

"What's the difference between Corel and North Corel?" Tifa asked curiously as Cloud got the oven heating and Zack tried to find enough space to lay out their mats. Tifa took the wet blankets and clothes out of the packs and started finding space to hang them. The old man glared at them all but he'd taken their gil and Tifa had seen how much it had been. They'd basically rented his house for that price.

"Difference? Only that Corel was a nice place to live full of good, honest, hard workin' people an' North Corel's full of their ghosts and the broken people still livin'." Tifa noticed his accent dropped a bit when he wasn't paying attention. "North Corel's a cesspool we're all just waitin' to die in and Corel, what's left of it, is already dead and under that damned theme park they got set up."

"Because of the reactor?" Tifa asked, giving up on finding places for the blankets and taking out some of their string to thread from one side of the room to the other. From long practice, she and the guys moved around each other and the work without having to think about it. The old man stopped himself from spitting and Tifa was suddenly glad she'd kept her shoes on.

"Damned reactor. Shinra said it'd make our lives better – easier. What a load of shit. It blew sky high and what it didn't kill they moved in an' gunned down with their fancy troops. All on account a' those two young men – must have told Shinra we'd blowed the reactor on purpose. Bastards."

Tifa, who had blown up Shinra reactors on purpose, pressed her lips together and settled the blanket she was carrying over the string.

Cloud had found a water pump and was busy priming it to see how clean the water looked. He already had a kettle on the stove top filled with water from his canteen. Tifa filled up a bowl with water from her own and laid it down for Red. Zack went over to join Cloud at the blond's gesture. Tifa, while they weren't looking, starting picking up things around the room and setting them straight. The old man watched her suspiciously but didn't stop her.

"I guess Shinra's not very popular around here then," she commented mildly, finding a rag to wipe off a shelf before starting to set things on it. "I'm surprised no one's decided to do anything rash about that."

The old man wheezed a cackle on his bed.

"Not that we'd tell anyway," he agreed with glee.

So, she wasn't alone. She'd known it… the world was a big place and she couldn't be the only one with a grudge against Shinra. It was still good to hear. There were other groups, like Leon's, out there. If she could find a way to connect with them… she could start taking the fight back to Shinra and making them pay for what they'd done to her family.

Not tonight though. But soon. She had somewhere she could start at least.

"Tifa," Cloud spoke her name from by the stove and she set down the rag with a last swipe at the bureau top and walked over to join him and Zack. The dark haired ex-SOLDIER was beaming proudly. Cloud gestured to the kettle on the stove.

"Hot water and a basin. It's clean. You can wash up." She looked at him in surprise and he added gently: "It would get you warm."

Tifa wrinkled her nose.

"Are my lips blue again?"

Cloud made his coughing, laughing sound and Tifa was surprised and delighted because she hadn't heard that sound since Costa del Sol.

"No."

Yet he'd known she was cold. Possibly because he was cold too, having stood in the rain with her and then traveled through the damp and cold. But, mostly she thought, simply because he paid attention to what affected her. She looked at the kettle on the stove.

She'd wished for hot running water. Even manual hot running water sounded pretty good right now.

"We'll wait outside in the shop," Zack volunteered. "You can just come get us when you're done."

They were spoiling her and Tifa knew she should refuse their offer. Except…

It was hot water.

"All right," she nodded. "We'll take turns. I'll go first and then I'll put some more water on to heat while I'm drying and getting dressed. Okay?"

The smiles she got were answer enough and then the boys were rousing the verbally protesting old man and herding him out of the room along with Red, leaving Tifa alone in the suddenly quiet section of the house. The first thing she did was make sure the curtains were well drawn and then she moved the 'tub' in between the wall and one of her hanging blankets. It felt strange undressing in a stranger's house. Piling her hair up on top of her head, she mixed the water from the pump with water from the kettle until she had it the right temperature – just short of scalding – and proceeded to stand in the 'tub' and pour it carefully over herself.

She enjoyed it but she washed up quickly and rinsed off carefully, not wanting to take her time. The guys had to be just as miserably damp as she was and the hot water had made her feel a thousand times better. Careful to refill the kettle she put it back on the stove and dried and dressed, dumping the used water outside near the outhouse. Coming back in, she went into the show room to trade places with Zack while Cloud haggled with the old man over something from one of the junk piles. Tifa gingerly sat on a rickety stool and brushed out her hair, listening to the old man squawking about 'robbery' and Cloud's calm low voice being implacable. Cloud got his items about the same time Zack came out to trade off with him and the dark haired man hopped up onto the counter near Tifa's stool with a grin. Red had given Tifa a look that was dry refusal when she'd asked if he wanted a bath too and sat down near her feet.

"I feel human again," Zack commented and Tifa gave him a brilliant smile.

"Me too," she agreed. "Its crazy what a little hot water can do. You two are wonderful to have figured something out."

"It was Cloud." Zack grinned. "But, hey, you're welcome."

The old man puttered around his 'shop' and finally asked:

"So where are you three headed anyway? We don't get many travelers through these parts."

"Junon," Zack's answer was easy and he shrugged. "I heard there was work across the water and my sister and her boyfriend decided to come too." He tipped his head toward the old man. "You heard anything?"

The old man shrugged and Tifa was careful to keep her face the same way it had been before Zack had started talking. Junon? And Zack was suddenly her brother?

Cloud was her boyfriend?!

"Lots of military work down there. Shinra's the big woohoo," the old man sounded disinterested. "I suppose young people can find work just about anywhere."

Zack nodded enthusiastically.

"That's what we're counting on."

The old man looked disgusted and shook his head and Zack gave Tifa a look. She blinked but nodded silently in response. Cloud opened the door between the rooms.

"All clear."

As they passed back into the other room Zack took the opportunity to murmur to Tifa.

"Get the feeling he'd sell his own mother for the right price. Figured I'd play it."

"Sure," Tifa nodded. Gave him a teasing smile and reached up to ruffle his unruly hair. "Little brother."

Cloud caught the interplay and looked over mildly as he moved their packs to the bed mats. Zack jerked a thumb at the old man that had puttered over to his stove to make sure they hadn't broken anything on it.

"Just asking the old man here about what he'd heard about jobs in Junon. Figured since he's closer than we were when we started he might have some inside information about what we could expect when we got there."

Cloud's calm face didn't change as he absorbed the news and instead he nodded.

"Any leads?" he asked, playing along, and Zack shook his head.

"Nah." The dark haired man dropped down on his mat and stretched his arms over his head with a yawn. "But he says we shouldn't have a problem. Which means you'll finally be able to afford to marry my sister and make an honest woman of her."


	49. Chapter 49: Broken Dreams

Chapter 49: Broken Dreams

Tifa was surrounded by junk. It piled up on either side of her, broken, rusty, useless bits that didn't even make sense any more. At first she'd been sorting through it, trying to divide the useless and marketable items from the sheer junk ones but as time went on she found she was digging through the forever odds and ends under her, tossing everything aside where it joined the piles already built up around her. Junk, junk, junk and as her digging got more frantic she realized it was in the way. It was all in the way. What she really wanted was buried somewhere under all the junk. She had to get to it, she had to find it. Had to – save it…

Had to save it from being buried under all the rubble and the trash. Had to. Had to. She had to get to what was under all of the junk before it was too late. Before –

the air ran out.

She was desperate now, fingers getting torn on the sharp edges of the metal she recklessly tore up and tossed over her shoulder. Vaguely she was aware that the junk she was throwing was forming walls, higher and higher around her, but –

She had to find what was buried under her.

It was depending on her, counting on her and she was failing it. Failing…

Them…

The realization of who was buried and desperate for air and helpless and counting on her under all that rubble was just starting to hit her – just starting to horrify her –

When hands closed around her shoulders. Gentle but insistent, she heard her name in that tone that she loved. In that voice that she loved –

"Cloud?" she woke up gasping his name and he was there, arms winding firmly around her, drawing her close and deep into the warmth and solid security of him. She burrowed in without modesty or hesitation, fingers winding in the fabric of his shirt. She was gasping, shaking, cold and sick feeling in her stomach and the edges of the dream, the emotions of it, clung to the corners of her mind and heart like cobwebs. Cloud's hands moved over her, stroking, warming. Anchoring her. She kept her eyes open even though all she could see was the dark fabric of his shirt, terrified of going back into that dream. Concentrating, she focused on where she really was. She forced herself to inhale that clean, storm smell of Cloud, to feel the heat of him, the solid length of his body where it pressed into hers. To listen to the sound of his heart against her. Slowly, where she was soaked in passed where she'd been and while her body still didn't relax – on guard against falling back into the dream – her breathing steadied. And she started to realize just how intimately she was pressed up against Cloud…

He had her pulled tightly into him. He'd also leaned forward to do it and now she was pinned against him with an equal combination of his arms and the long leg he had slung over both of hers – and the sleeping mat and floor. It trapped her pretty completely against and partially under Cloud and also pressed her just as completely up against his body.

She'd never felt so safe.

And so aware of someone else...

"I'm sorry," she whispered the first thing that came to her, trying desperately to distract herself from wherever her mind had been wandering. She shifted to press her face into his throat and shook her head. "I woke you, didn't I?"

"No," his voice was equally soft and she thought it was rough at its edges. "My watch."

Even lying there in the dark, they didn't trust where they were and so they'd been taking turns keeping watch. Their bodies were used to it anyway. Cloud's hand continued to stroke over her, slow, gentle, curving around a shoulder, sliding down her back while his other arm held her close. She realized she was still trembling but it wasn't exactly the dream anymore.

There had to be something wrong with her that she shifted from the utter panic and despair of the dream to wanting Cloud's touch so quickly.

Except – considering what the alternative was focusing on the dream –

She slid her arms around his neck and held on.

"Did I wake everyone else up?"

Above her his head shook and she felt herself relax. Just a little. Cloud must have felt it too because his hand moved to the back of her head, smoothing slowly over her hair. Somehow, he found a way to tuck her even closer into himself with his other arm. Despite herself, she gave a weak smile against him.

"We're going to have to find a way to pay Zack back," she whispered against his skin. Needing the distraction. He made a low, almost silent grunt in his throat and she felt it in her own chest where it was pressed so tightly against his. She shut her eyes for just a second.

This was terrible! She'd never felt so safe and surrounded and comfortable – and yet… and yet she also wanted to drag her nails over him in frustration, bury them in his hair, pull his mouth down to hers and –

She slammed the brakes on that train of thought. Crap! She needed distraction from her dream – but that kind of mental distraction was going to cause all kinds of its own problems. Locking her jaw, she concentrated on a safe subject. Revenge on Zack.

"He's going to look smug for days," she murmured and felt Cloud's chest move in a silent laugh. When Zack had dropped his 'make a decent woman of her' bomb, you could have heard a pin drop in the room. Which was saying something considering how dirty it was. Until the old man had started cackling and made some comments about 'impatient young people'. They'd eaten dinner and settled in for the night after that but Zack hadn't lost the smug twinkle in his eyes.

"He'd date you. If you'd let him." Cloud's voice was so low and soft that she almost didn't hear it. Almost. Her arms around him tightened automatically.

"Zack?"

Cloud nodded against her and both of his arms had wound around her again. Tifa shook her head in protest against him but his arms just tightened a little more and he didn't answer.

"Zack flirts with everyone that's female. Even the stray cats around the cottages that were female followed him around."

Zack was a flirt. He couldn't seem to help himself. He was cheerful and funny and friendly and he genuinely liked people, especially the female variety. But – he never took it too far. Zack wasn't an intentional heart breaker. In fact, in all their time in Costa del Sol, and with all the opportunities he'd had – she'd never seen Zack actually move beyond flirting with anyone. At her mention of the stray cats and Zack, Cloud made a quietly choking noise deep in his throat and it made Tifa smile. Gentle, she raised the fingers of one of her hands and threaded them through Cloud's soft hair at the back of his neck. Feeling – home again. Feeling the peace and contentment starting to settle over her.

"Not Zack," she whispered, safely tucked into Cloud. Zack wasn't interested in her that way and she was glad. Her arms were already around the only man she ever really wanted.

"Not Zack," Cloud repeated in a quiet exhale and for just a moment, his head lowered and his face was pressed against her throat and shoulder. Then he shifted so that they were both lying more comfortably and she felt his lips brush her forehead as he lifted his head again. They lay that way for the rest of the night, in the quiet and the dark and even though Tifa didn't sleep again, she still felt rested and whole by the time the sun started to peek through the cracks at the bottom of the curtains.

They ate a quick breakfast and then set out again. People watched them with suspicion from the broken doorways as they went past and Cloud led them back out the way they'd come. It meant they were headed the opposite direction from where they'd wanted to go and they spent most of the morning once they were out of the town working their way north so they could go around North Corel without being spotted. No one complained or asked why however. Despite their anti-Shinra attitude, it just seemed wiser not to let anyone from that desperate town know where they were really headed.

Tifa was glad to be away from it. It had reminded her of some of the small time bullies in Midgar. Sad and vindictive and desperate and hopeless. Besides, she was getting used to hiking and spending her days in travel and it felt good to be back in the fresh air. If it wasn't for the whole hot water and craving for a meal that wasn't instant from time to time, she might have just wanted to travel this way for the rest of her life. She didn't even really mind the monsters that popped up from time to time.

One of the things Cloud had apparently bargained off the old man in North Corel was a set of brass knuckles. He had given them to Tifa once they'd gotten out of the town, walking next to her as he took her hands without explanation and slid them over her gloved fingers as if they were some kind of bizarre engagement ring. She'd clenched her fists to get the feel for them and then played with them while they'd walked. It had taken a bit of getting used to in combat but once she'd figured out how to use them best, she was delighted with the extra damage she dealt out. Just against monsters though.

She wasn't so sure she'd be willing to use them against people.

She did however punch Zack in the arm when she wasn't wearing them.

"'Make an honest woman of me'?"

"What?" he spread his hands but he was grinning. "You're my sister. I don't want to see you hanging out with some loser that's not even going to marry you. Cloud's a good guy but he's a little slow."

She started laughing and, in front of them, Cloud just shook his head.

"Well, since you're my little brother – shouldn't I be bugging you about when you're going to get married too?" she asked cheerfully and Zack gave her a crooked grin, eyes laughing.

"Not me. I'm a single guy."

Tifa made a noise.

"You mean to tell me you've never had a girl you thought about wanting to marry before? Never? Not even as a kid?"

Zack shook his head honestly.

"Nope."

Ahead of them, Cloud's head turned back toward them and the look from the corner of his eyes was –

Tifa puzzled over it because it hadn't been laughing or even curious.

"No one?" Cloud asked quietly from in front of them, watching where they were going again and Zack laughed.

"Nah. Too many pretty girls to choose from. And since Teef here is my sister – I'm making due with seconds."

Tifa rolled her eyes at him and gave him a shove that would have made Aerith proud. His eyes laughed at her as he danced to the side and than came back.

"No one who wrote you letters?" Cloud was asking persistent questions and Zack finally caught on, looking at the back of the blond's head in mild puzzlement.

"You know something I don't? Some pretty girl who wants to write me letters you just happen to be carrying in your pocket?"

Tifa caught a glimpse of Cloud's face for a second and saw he was frowning, brows low over his eyes. But his voice was as mild as before when he commented:

"No. Just – nothing."

"Huh," was Zack's opinion and then he turned his attention back to Tifa.

"So do _you_ have a pretty friend that would like to date a handsome, daring ex-SOLDIER?"

Tifa laughed but a whisper of sadness moved through her soul.

"The only friends I have other than you are Cloud and Red. So I guess I should ask if you like blonds or redheads."

"Thanks," Zack snorted his laugh. "I'll pass."


	50. Chapter 50: Family part 2

_just a head's up for those that are following. I'll probably be adding another chapter to For Their Own Good in the next couple of days if not tonight. demonegg and Ktisis - thanks for the delicious reviews in my other stories too :D You're both terrible, since you just make me want to write more.  
_

Chapter 50: Family part 2

They reached a small fishing village Cloud knew about that would take them across the water to the island of Wutai. They'd gone further south than Rocket Town because the larger town was a Shinra base even if its dreams of reaching the stars under that banner were forgotten. Tifa had thought of Cid and Shera and imagined that he'd forgiven her in those last moments and told her so. That he'd held her just once as their world ended and the small, quiet woman had realized what he'd been meaning to say all along.

The trip over to Wutai was short and Tifa stood at the front of the little boat and slit her eyes against the salt spray, wind on her face and catching in her hair. She was seeing so much of the world and it filled her and yet made her feel guilty too, because the only reason she was seeing so much was because her family was gone.

Cloud joined her and she looked over at him.

"How does it feel? Kind of coming home?"

His eyes, bluer than the water under them, stayed fixed on the horizon and the smudge of land that could be seen from where they were and he rested his hands on the railing. The wind pushed his hair back from his face, making him look both younger and older.

"Right," he answered after a long pause. "And… wrong. Because I don't really belong there even though I feel like I should."

Tifa reached out and laid her hand over his on the railing.

"It's where your family is," she told him softly and he turned his head to look at her with his aqua blue eyes. His fingers parted to mesh with hers.

"Some of them," he answered in his soft voice and broke her heart into a thousand little wonderful, painful pieces as he looked at her. It drew the helpless smile out of her.

"More of them now," she agreed and watched his own lips smile softly for her.

The boat dropped them off in an almost identical fishing village in Wutai far to the south of the capital. Cloud helped her off of the boat and then seemed to forget he was holding Tifa's hand, not letting go of it as they waited for everyone else. It made her smile too and she pretended she didn't notice.

Several of the children from the village seemed to know Cloud and they gathered around him as they realized who was there. Cloud, a little embarrassed, a little pleased, let them cling to him and tell him their latest adventures in their piping voices and Tifa stood to the side with Zack and Red now that they were parted and watched.

"Bet he's never threatened to kick in the door to their homes," Zack commented and Tifa smiled.

"Bet he has and that's why they love him."

It made Zack laugh.

"My brother and sister loved him from the first moment too," Tifa added softly, watching the children clambering over the silent, shyly smiling warrior and Zack turned his head to look at her. She had her hand resting on Red's forehead and there was such aching emptiness and yet quiet joy in her as she looked at the scene in front of her. Zack slipped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"I would have liked to meet them."

It made Tifa smile again and she turned her head to look up at him.

"They would have liked this trip. They would have liked you. Opportunities for mischief."

Cloud came over then and Zack threw his other arm over the blond's shoulders companionably.

"So are we going to stay here and let the kids be our slaves or what?" Zack asked and Cloud's lips twitched.

"Zoey says her grandfather is going to Wutai. We can catch a ride in the back of his truck."

"When?" Tifa asked and Cloud moved his chin to indicate a beat up looking powder blue truck parked near the edge of the docks.

"As soon as we're ready."

And so just like that Tifa found herself on the way to Wutai, capital of the island of Wutai and the last country that had managed to resist Shinra. As they passed through the flat lands and salt marshes of the island, she looked at Cloud and wondered what was going through his mind. Wutai was his adopted home – but it was also, from what he'd said, the place of some of his worse horrors. He'd thought he'd killed Sephiroth here. He'd fought against the very people that had adopted him. He'd seen them all slaughtered by one mad SOLDIER.

Zack, easily confessing that he'd never been this far west, sat closest to the cab of the truck and talked to the driver through the open window, asking all kinds of questions about Wutai and the area around it. Cloud sat at the back of the truck, arms folded loosely over his chest and watched Zack with his eyebrows down over his eyes and an intent look on his face, long legs stretched out in the bed of the truck in front of him. Tifa sat on her heels to ease the bumps the truck took and watched behind them on the road as the wet, salty scenery fled past, one arm around Red's shoulders as he watched with her. She'd been offered the only other seat in the cab of the truck but she'd opted to ride in the bed with the guys instead. It felt better.

Slowly the land pulled away from the water but never too far and the marshes gave way to higher, dryer land. Tifa started to see other small villages with their colorful pagoda, distinctively sloped roofs. It was all exotic and beautiful to her and so were the people they passed on the roads or working in the fields or when they slowed down to drive through the center of a town. She saw soldiers too, as they started passing through the larger towns but they weren't Shinra guards. Instead they were in modernized versions of ancient looking armor and she saw they only carried bladed weapons. She wondered if that was a Shinra law now.

They stopped at midday in one of the larger towns where their ride informed them that was as far as he went but he'd find his cousin to get them the rest of the way. Cloud nodded and the other man smiled. It was one of those proud, private smiles that spoke of personal investment into the source of pride and Tifa wondered just how the people of Wutai viewed Cloud. She hadn't realized so many people would automatically recognize him. Of course, it was hard to miss a blond in the crowd of darker haired individuals, especially one that dressed like Cloud and carried a giant sword but… maybe Yuffie's family was more prominent than she'd thought. After all, they'd adopted Cloud as a gesture of peace so they had to be higher ranked, right?

"Come on," Cloud took her hand again and Tifa told herself it was silly of her to feel mushy just because he was afraid she'd get lost and thought holding her hand would keep her from wandering. "There's a noodle shop around here I remember. It's good."

By the time they'd made it to the noodle shop Cloud had collected another small following of children and when they tried to pay for their meal the shopkeeper refused as if they'd insulted her. Tifa sat at one of the outdoor tables and ate her noodles – and they were **good **– and watched as Cloud went back to the counter to get small fortune cookies for his flock of knee-highs. Zack was chuckling as he rubbed the top of Red's head.

"You get the idea we're missing something here?" the dark haired man asked and Tifa nodded, still watching Cloud as he went down on his heels to make sure everyone got one of the cookies including the children that were hanging shyly back in the doorway. All without saying a word or making it obvious that's what he was doing.

"Mm hm," she agreed. "Its like he's a movie star or something we don't know about."

"Not what you'd expect from someone that fought against them in the war," Zack commented and sat back to fold his arms across his chest, head tipped thoughtfully as he watched Cloud as well.

"We didn't hear a lot about the Wutai War in Midgar," Tifa admitted, finishing her food and setting her bowl neatly in Zack and Cloud's already stacked and empty ones. Red was still working on his. Noodles took a bit longer when you didn't have lips. "Just what Shinra wanted us to hear. I wonder what really happened."

Zack shrugged.

"Who knows who wasn't here."

It made Tifa pause and she looked at the man next to her. She'd guess he was about the same age as her and Cloud, maybe a bit older. She frowned in thought.

"Didn't you fight in the Wutai War, Zack? I thought they sent all their SOLDIERs over here."

Zack frowned and for the first time his forehead wrinkled. Unconsciously, he raised his thumb and rubbed between his brows.

"No." He paused. "No, I wasn't here. I've never been to Wutai. I was on guard duty in Modeoheim."

"The whole war?" Tifa asked curiously. Wondering what was in Modeoheim that they'd tie up a First Class SOLDIER with it. Zack frowned again and his eyes squinted a little.

"Yeah," he answered, voice not as sure as it usually was. "Weird, huh?"

"Hey," Tifa touched his shoulder. "You okay?"

Zack looked over at her and his face relaxed.

"Headache. Must be all this clean air and good food getting to me."

Cloud joined them.

"Jessie's dad says he's ready to go." He picked up the empty bowls before Tifa could get to them and acted as if he didn't realize she'd been about to.

"Why didn't you tell us you were a rock star?" Zack asked and Cloud gave him a puzzled look. Zack gestured around them.

"Dude, you've got the entire city fawning over you. What did you **do**?"

Cloud looked awkward and embarrassed.

"Nothing."

Zack crossed his arms across his chest again and sat back in his chair.

"Well, me and Tifa aren't going anywhere with you until you tell us."

Since it sounded good to her, Tifa imitated Zack, folding her arms under her chest and sitting back in her chair as well in imitation. Cloud looked from one to the other – and finally looked down at Red – who ignored them all. For just a moment, Cloud looked like he would rather leave them there than answer. Finally he shrugged.

"Yuffie's family runs Wutai. She's the Kisaragi heir. When I saved her, I saved the future of the ruling family. They're big on that in Wutai."

"You saved the king's daughter?" Tifa was surprised enough to sit forward in her chair. Zack looked surprised too but not as surprised as Tifa. Zack hadn't actually meet Yuffie after all. Cloud's hand went up to rub at the back of his head.

"He's not really the king."

"Wait a minute," Zack interrupted to Cloud's evident relief. "Yuffie – that's your adopted sister, right? And she's the – princess? So that makes you a – prince? Prince Cloud?"

The dark haired man was apparently, like Tifa, torn between finding it all hysterically funny and confoundingly shocking. Until Cloud, in a very uniquely 'unCloud' moment, reached out and hit Zack on the back of his head, blue eyes narrowed.

"Shut up," he told the other man and Tifa suddenly burst into laughter. No wonder he was such a 'celebrity'. He'd saved their only princess from the clutches of a mad man, going against his own side to do so. It was exactly the stuff of legends and hero tales. And she doubted, knowing Cloud, he'd even been aware of what he was doing beyond simply stepping in to defend a child in danger. If she hadn't been in love with him before – this would have pushed her right over the edge into it. She was already been in love with him though, so instead she stood up and threw her arms around his shoulders in a happy hug.

"You're wonderful, Cloud Strife," she told him with a brilliant smile, even daring to give his suddenly pink cheek a brushed kiss. Laughing. "A hero to an entire country and you don't even tell us." She pulled back enough to meet his eyes and even though her face was cheerful and laughing, tenderness moved deep in her as she told him:

"You didn't tell me I was going to have to share my hero."

"Tifa – " his eyes met hers. "I – "

A horn honked and Zack slapped Cloud on the back as he stood up. "Come on. I'm gonna ask Jessie's dad to tell all of us the story while we drive."

"Zack!" for a second, turning his head to protest, Cloud sounded young and Tifa grinned as she let go of him and took the bowls away from his loose hand to bring them back in to the shop before they left.

Zack did carry through on his threat and Jessie's dad was only too happy to tell, in full length and detail, the story of daring young Cloud 'barely a man' facing off against Sephiroth 'that mad magic man' in a duel to the death all for the sake of one 'not so innocent but still unblemished only child of the Kisaragi clan'. While Sephiroth might be considered a martyred hero of the Wutai War in the rest of the known world, apparently Shinra propaganda didn't carry as much power in Wutai. Why he'd gone mad wasn't known by the general public - that was blamed on the SOLDIER program itself, but that he had – and that he'd killed both his side and Wutai's as well until Cloud finally defeated him in mortal combat over the Kisaragi child heir was apparently staple story fare around here. Cloud sat at the back of the truck bed and pretended he couldn't hear – and that he wasn't aware that not only Zack but even Tifa and Red were sitting close to the back window so they could hear the story.

The story didn't stop there either though. Apparently after his triumph, Cloud had disappeared for several years, even the adoption had been proxy, and returned a monster slayer just as they'd started spawning in response to the new Shinra 'multiple curses upon it and its children' reactor. The monsters had apparently caught the Wutai people off guard when they'd first started appearing and Cloud's well-timed appearance had saved more than one village.

And Tifa had met him at a convention…

What kind of countrywide hero went to a convention?

One that adored his little sister and was willing to let her pick out his costume and mess with his hair apparently.

The same little sister he'd saved from a mad man long before she'd been his little sister.

They reached the capital before Zack could start teasing Cloud and the truck pulled up right to the back of a large building that stood in the center of the city. Cloud was off it before its tires had even stopped turning and giving the driver a nod of thanks. Zack and Tifa were more verbal in their thanks and the man was chuckling to himself as he pulled away. Cloud started walking and Tifa and Zack shot each other grins before catching up to him. Red ignored all the ridiculous human interplay as he strode along at Cloud's hip.

Tifa wondered if Cloud had any clue how he was building his reputation, striding in the back door of the capital building with a fire tailed beast at his side, huge sword slung casually over his back – looking exactly like the returning warrior-hero she knew he didn't see himself as.

He'd be mortified if he knew. Luckily for him, she and Zack were right behind him and ragged looking enough to take some of the majesty out of the scene. At least that's what she was thinking as she followed Cloud down the winding path of an immaculately kept garden with the red and black lacquer building rising in front of them. And then she heard her name called –

and even before her ears registered it – her heart did and she was turning toward that young, perfect, heart-sore, _alive_ sound even as her knees gave out and her eyes filled with tears. Horror and heartache pouring over her face as her legs hit the gravel without even feeling it. Knowing better – her arms still opened and a second later, just before she could start screaming, first one impossibly small body and then another impacted with her and sent them all sprawling backward into the stone and perfectly trimmed grass.

And all she could hear was the pure, perfect sound of her name in the two voices she loved most in all the world, saying it over and over again as Denzel and Marlene burrowed themselves into her, filling her world with their weight and their smell and their warmth and their sound and their life. Tifa burst into tears and held them, ghosts or demons or dreams or nightmares, against her with no intent to ever let them go.

_okay, Kainos Ktisis, you can breath now ;)_


	51. Chapter 51: Back Story

_First off - Happy Easter and Feast of the First Fruits! Hope everyone had a great day and celebrated the way it calls for! And - WOW!! So many reviews and so many happy reviewers! And SO many familiar voices coming up again! Oh, heck with it - group hug! You guys make me so happy, my new best beloveds and my returning and consistent best beloveds. I admit, I fine tune my chapters based on some of the things I hear in my reviews. Ohkay, let's tackle this. Jianre - for some reason no one had much faith in me killing off the kids. I can't imagine why. Yep, it had to be Wutai. All younger siblings wait in Wutai apparently ;) zi-ling - my face must glow. I've managed to agast you. Zack was too bouncy to resist writing and yeah, you called it, I couldn't resist the kids coming back. Skykhanhunter - I LOVED that part of Dark Knight too! Yep, kids are alive. Chapter 52 should be for you then to answer the rest of your question. Welcome back! Cal - hey, welcome to the party. Ugh, the review was nearly impossible to figure out what to write considering the story took such a spin after the convention. I'm glad you peeked in anyway. I'm flattered because I am trying to tell a new story but I don't want to lose the characters or the feeling of the origonal. Thanks! Biskitty - I LOVE the stuff you write so I'm flattered you approve of mine. Your reviews always make me grin like the village idiot. And yeah, who could resist a love triangle like that? Other than Cloud, that is. Dis - yeah, you got me. The kids LIVE!! And, heh, what makes you think I'd break Zack? For the fun of it? Just because I could? And its dramatic and will scar some of my readers for life? Would I do that? Kueilan - oh, you so make me want to hug you. Or send you chocolate chip cookies for your wonderful detailed reviews. Yep, Cloud's an older brother - its good for him. Little siblings build character! Your comment about Zack and Cloud not being subtle - I laughed so hard - its SO true! Its makes them a pleasure to write every time. Pull down the safety bar on the ride because we're still going strong. demonegg - you make me so happy every time I see your name pop up in my email box. I loved Cloud's kid posse too. Its just too easy to picture, isn't it? And yes... my hyphens... Peek-chan is so trying to cure me of those but I stick stubbornly to them. I like the way they look. I'm glad you can forgive me for them (and all my other punctuation problems Peek grinds her teeth over :) It's Sunday, yo! Hope these make you happy. Ktisis - I'm SO glad you're here. Yep, it just seemed 'Cloud' to ignore having an entire nation swooning over him. and I'm glad you're enjoying the mystery of Zack and Cloud - I intend to complicate things even more! I enjoy your Clouds in your stories so I'm flattered you approve of mine. Peeka - as always you make my day and save my stories from horrible commaless existance. We'd both be more boring without you to egg us on. And now - wow - let's get this show on the road!_

Chapter 51: Back Story

Tifa didn't know how long she lay there with her sister and brother on top of her. It wasn't long enough and for a very long time it was just names and tears and kisses and arms holding so desperately tight that no one could really breath well and no one cared. Finally Tifa's eyes cleared of tears enough to see and she had to sit up just so that she could look at both of the children pressed like a second skin against her. Almost desperate she examined both of them and Denzel finally gave in to his natural response and pulled a face. It made her burst into laughter and tears all over again. Finally, feeling hollow and dry inside – and as if her chest suddenly held all the vastness of the open sky above the plains – she managed to give them both a watery smile and ask:

"What are you doing here?"

"We came with Leon!" Denzel supplied and then all of the sudden Marlene was trying to wiggle out of Tifa's arms and Tifa wasn't letting go and her little sister was looking frustrated.

"You've got to see! You've got to come! Now!"

The fierce surety of it had Tifa letting go just long enough for Marlene to stand up and grab her hand to begin tugging.

"It's a surprise. Come **on**, Tifa! You're going to cry again."

Tifa struggled to her feet, not at all sure she could handle crying like that again. Denzel grabbed her other hand and they literally pulled her down the garden path away from the building. Tifa, still trying to hiccup air into her, managed to shoot a helpless glance back at Cloud and Zack – enough to see Cloud's eyes were full of light and the clearest, richest blue she'd ever seen – before she was stumbling along behind her brother and sister.

"How - ?" she started but Marlene hushed her.

"Not yet. You've got to see."

"Marlene – " Tifa wasn't sure she could handle any more surprises today but her little sister was determined as she pulled her around one of the manicured hedges into a different section of the garden.

"See?" Marlene was smiling and triumphant and Tifa's entire face seemed to be on the verge of dissolving into tears again.

"Aerith – " the choked out name was a whisper but the humming figure in front of her turned in mild surprise – that turned into insane joy.

"Tifa!" It was a scream and suddenly her best friend was in her arms and they were both laughing and crying again while the children held on to them. For a long time it was all meaningless babble that came straight from their hearts and then Aerith was holding Tifa's face in her hands and searching it with her impossibly green eyes.

"I knew it. I knew you'd find us. You always find us. I knew you'd come."

"It's Cloud's fault," Tifa managed to choke and her friend raised her face to look around for the blond warrior. The smile she gave him was beatific. And then her eyes moved to the man standing curiously next to him –

and her knees gave out on her.

"Aerith!" Tifa caught her friend and almost went down with her as well. All the color and light had drained entirely out of Aerith's face and her eyes had rolled back into her head. Before she could even ask, Cloud was there, sliding his arms around Aerith to support her as he kept Tifa from tipping over.

"What?" Tifa began but Cloud shook his head in answer and the kids, suddenly pale and worried where there had only been smiles second ago, looked up at her wide eyed.

"She's never done that before," Marlene protested as Cloud settled Aerith down on the grass. Tifa had imagined her friend lying in the grass before as she'd traveled across it. This hadn't been at all what she'd seen. She went to her knees next to her friend and felt her forehead as Cloud laid a hand over her heartbeat. Zack came close, worry but calm competence on his face.

"You want me to go get someone?" he asked. And then Aerith stirred.

"Zack…" the whisper from the brunette was so soft it almost wasn't there but everyone around her heard it. Tifa turned a shocked face to Zack but he looked just as shocked as she did. He went to a knee next to the fallen woman anyway and took her pale hand in one of his gloved ones.

"I'm here," he answered and it sounded so reassuring and solid and – _right_. Tifa looked at Cloud but he looked as puzzled as everyone else. Aerith's green eyes fluttered open and they focused without hesitation on the dark haired man leaning over her. It pulled a weak smile out of her and she reached up to hesitantly touch his cheek.

"You never wrote back…" Aerith's voice held so much soft emotion that Tifa felt her own throat close up. "I wrote and wrote – and you never wrote a single letter back." Light her fingers gave his shoulder a weak push. "Bastard," the word was laced with so much affection Tifa got it.

Really got it.

The once a year drinking spree. The guy Aerith never talked about. Her best friend's first love. The one that had left her without a word…

Letters?

Cloud had asked Zack about –

Tifa's mouth was already forming the word as she turned her face to look at Cloud. But he was looking at Zack, his own blue eyes wide.

Was he just realizing it had been Aerith who'd written the letters Cloud remembered and Zack didn't?

"I – ah – I didn't get them?" Zack sounded more as if he was asking than explaining and Aerith gave him one of her heart soft smiles.

"No. I didn't think you did. I didn't know where to send them after a while…" Her slender fingers rose again and touched Zack's cheek. And then she started to frown. Started to sit up and pull away.

"Zack?" her voice was suddenly unsure and frightened. "Where's your scar?"

"My scar?" Zack asked without comprehension and Aerith's eyes suddenly went frightened and wide and she scrambled back on her hands and feet like a crab.

"What? – Who – you're not Zack!"

Zack sat back on his heels and let her go, looking confused.

"Sure I am," he was confused about the situation but not about that. "Who else would I be?"

"It's what I've wondered."

It was Cloud's soft voice and Tifa turned her head in surprise to see him watching Zack. Cloud's face was calm and nonagressive – but she saw sorrow in his eyes.

"What?" Zack turned angry eyes on Cloud and Cloud didn't move away from him. Tifa scooted over to wrap her arms around Aerith while Denzel and Marlene watched with wide eyes and no fear. Cloud shook his head and stood up.

"I thought it was just me." He offered his hand down to the other man. "It's not. Something's wrong with your memories, Zack."

"Like hell," Zack stood up without the offered hand but he didn't knock it aside either. Cloud's eyes were calm.

"You don't remember her. But you used to talk about her all the time. _All_ the time. I know because I had to listen to it. _A lot_. You said she'd promised to write you letters. You never said her name but she was number three on your cell phone's speed dial." He turned his head to look at Tifa. Answered before she could even ask. Or realize what an irreverent question it was at a time like this. "Shinra headquarters and his mom."

"My mom's dead," Zack folded his arms over his chest. "She died right after I was born."

"Your mom lives in-"

"Gongaga," Aerith finished Cloud's sentence.

"I'm from Kalm," Zack stated. Very softly, Cloud responded:

"Zack Fair, Shinra SOLDIER First Class was from Gongaga."

Zack's mako-colored eyes narrowed down and his shoulders shifted defensively.

"Look. I don't know what this is or why you're doing it, but we're done. You've already said your memories aren't reliable," he reminded Cloud, voice harsh. "And, I'm sorry, but I've never met you before," he told Aerith, voice just a little bit gentler but just as determined. "So whatever's going on – it needs to stop right about now."

Aerith started forward, one hand rising – and then stopped herself and closed it against her chest. Zack shook his head.

"No."

He turned and strode out of the garden. Cloud started after him and Tifa caught his arm. She shook her head when he looked back at her.

"Not yet," she told him softly. Cloud looked dubious, but he was a part of the problem and he seemed to understand that. Tifa pressed her lips together and her brows came down for a long minute.

"Can we – can we get some food and somewhere comfortable to sit?" she asked finally. "I think we've got a lot of catching up to do."

Thanks to Cloud's influence they got all of that plus privacy in no time and Tifa found herself sitting on a wide porch, cushions under her and sweet smelling dishes on the low table in front of her. Denzel and Marlene had obviously been here long enough to have figured out what they liked because they divided up their food pretty quickly and then piled more of it on Tifa's plate. There was a weak pink colored wine in the small glass in front of her and even though Tifa wasn't a drinker she thought it was a good idea. Once everyone was settled, the women and the kids at the table, Cloud leaning comfortably against one of the pillars, she simply said:

"Start at the beginning."

It wasn't quite that easy because it was three people telling the story. Aerith carried most of it but Denzel and Marlene piped up with their own versions as well. Tifa listened to it all as if she were starving and it was the food instead of what was in front of her.

Apparently, Aerith had grabbed someone's cell phone in her mad drive to get to Seventh Heaven after she'd left Cloud and Tifa at the Pillar. She'd peeled into Seventh Heaven just as everyone was scrambling out and Leon had taken over the driving. Apparently his driving had been just as terrifying as Cloud's and that was confirmed by all three versions of the story. They hadn't been the only ones fleeing the Sector either. Cell phones made the world very small and Aerith had called everyone she could think of and yelled it out the window when she wasn't on the phone. Barrett had apparently been doing the same. And the message had always been the same.

Shinra is going to drop the Plate. Run!

How many people had time to get out though, Aerith still wasn't sure. The falling Plate missed their truck but the rubble that had overwhelmed them afterward had demolished it and Tifa noticed the way Aerith skipped over the finding everyone and what condition they'd been in when they'd been found. The children stayed consciously silent about it as well and it made Tifa's stomach twist. Cloud's hand touched her shoulder lightly and she looked up to see he'd come back and now he sat down next to her at the table.

He was right. No need to think about it. They were here and alive and that was all that mattered. She laid a hand on his folded knee and looked back at Aerith. Who was watching them with a bright look in her eyes but continued on with the story.

After everyone had been found again, there had been no transportation and mobs of panicked people. They'd managed to stay together – again, Aerith was vague on how well or consistently.

"But your dad was in a real bad way, Teef," Aerith told her softly. "I couldn't do anything and the cold air was really bad for him."

Again the children were conspicuously silent and Tifa wondered how badly that had ripped into them. She'd heard her father when he couldn't breath – and known the feeling of not being able to do anything to help –

"Barrett said we had to take him to the doctor. One of the slum doctors." Because no one above Plate would take a 'slummer'. Tifa knew. "We got to the doctor but – it was real hard. It took us a lot longer than we'd planned."

"We wanted to go to the church," Denzel piped up, frustration still in his voice. "Like you said we should if anything ever happened. But we couldn't leave Dad."

"It's okay. You did what was right," Tifa took his hand in hers and held it while Aerith went on.

They'd gotten her dad to the doctor but the place had been packed with wounded and dying people. The devastation of the fallen Plate was huge and had covered a lot more than just the confines of the Sector Seven slums. Shinra was apparently below in force too, telling anyone that would listen it was the terrorist party that had been destroying the reactors that had finally blown the Pillar. They'd also been enforcing their law and harshly. The kids had been frantic to get to the church but it hadn't been possible.

Then they'd seen her bruised face on one of the TVs. And heard that they were blaming her for blowing up the Pillar.

At that point in the story Marlene crawled over to squeeze herself between Cloud and Tifa and wrap her arms around Tifa's waist. Cloud touched the little girl's back gently and Marlene surprised them all by reaching out and trapping his hand in hers when he started to pull away, holding it tightly against her heart while she pressed into her older sister.

"We saw you. And Cloud." Marlene's voice was muffled against Tifa's side. "An' they said it was all your fault and they were going to kill you for it. And we knew we had to save you."

"Leon got the team together and they figured out how to get above the Plates because the trains weren't running anymore," Aerith explained as Denzel left his own spot to press into Tifa's other side. "They didn't have any supplies or anything but Shinra was making such a big deal about the upcoming execution and how terrible you were when you really just looked – so small and beat up." Her friend's voice caught and Aerith took a sip of her wine. Tifa managed to free a hand to take Aerith's and her friend clung tightly to it.

"I guess Leon managed to sneak into the building when the others couldn't. Apparently it was really hard because security was impossible. Once he was inside he found out why. You were already gone. He called us when he finally managed to get out again."

"I knew you were with Cloud," Denzel's voice was sure and he looked past her to look shyly at the blond man. "I knew you'd be okay."

Tifa gave Cloud a soft smile.

"I was."

"Tifa," Aerith's voice was soft. "Your dad didn't make it…"

"I know." Tifa answered it gently. "I knew he wouldn't. But you were with him. I… couldn't be," her voice tightened but she forced on. "But you were and he didn't have to be scared. So it's okay."

Aerith's hand squeezed hers and they were quiet for a long moment before Aerith finally supplied:

"We always seemed to be just a step behind you. We went to the church but you'd already been there. I saw the flowers you left on the pew we always sat on when we'd go. And I finally got to mom's – and she said you'd already left. She doesn't have a cell phone and the Plate wrecked the land lines for the phones and I didn't even think to call our neighbors – "

It was Tifa's turn to squeeze Aerith's hand. Apparently her friend had had a lot of time to think of what she hadn't done and blame herself. It didn't matter now. The pain, the heartbreak, the horror and the despair... none of it mattered. That was all in the past and things were right again.

"We tried everywhere we could think of that you might have gone. Mom said you were with 'two handsome young men' and that 'that sweet blond' had said you were going to be leaving town."

Cloud was finding something interesting with the ceiling when Tifa shot him an amused look and Denzel grinned, not getting Cloud's embarrassment but understanding that his hero had once again come through and protected his sister.

"Shinra was really starting to come down hard on anyone and everyone they'd ever had problems with. They were rounding up everyone, using the 'suspected terrorist' excuse. There were starting to be clashes on the streets. Leon said we had go and Mom promised that if you came back she'd tell you where we'd gone."

"Wutai?" That was the only part so far that didn't make sense to Tifa and Aerith laughed softly and shrugged.

"Apparently, Leon's group started in Wutai. Shinra sent the Turks in to destroy it a couple years back but instead it just grew another head and moved to Hollow Bastion. He thought it would be safe to bring me and the kids here and I remembered Yuffie and knew you were with Cloud... so I figured 'why not?' And – here we are." Aerith finished her story with spread hands and a smile, ignoring, for the moment, the white elephant of Zack. Tifa nodded and kissed the tops of both Marlene and Denzel's heads.

"Wait until you hear this one." And with that Tifa began her own story. And her only interruptions were when Cloud would make a low noise in his throat when he thought she was making too big a deal of his part in something.


	52. Chapter 52: Faulty Conclusions

Chapter 52: Faulty Conclusions

Tifa stood on the veranda with a thin quilt wrapped around her, listening to the sounds of the night. The sliding door to her bedroom was pushed open behind her and Denzel and Marlene was piled up on her cushioned sleeping mat and sound asleep. She couldn't stop herself from stealing glances over her shoulder at them from time to time. Just… to see them and know they were real and really there.

They'd all stayed up late and the adults had drunk perhaps a bit too much of the wine that had proved not to be as weak as it had looked at first. Cloud's family had been in another section of the country they'd found out and so it had just been their small group. Tifa had been glad. There had been a lot of stories to tell and memories to relive and emotions to catch up on. Only one subject had been carefully avoided.

That was why Tifa was standing on the porch instead of curled up with her siblings, listening to the faint sound of the city that managed to filter through the dark of the night and the gardens surrounding the building. She was patient, she had all night. She wouldn't have minded sleeping with Aerith and Cloud and Red in the room as well but apparently everyone had thought that she should have her siblings to herself and visa versa and Tifa hadn't thought it was a bad idea. Though Denzel was starting to reach even his large limit when it came to being snuggled constantly.

The thought made her smile and she turned her head back away from where she could see them sleeping to look into the garden beyond. And saw a familiar dark shape standing in the middle of one of the moonlight paths. Tifa inhaled a content breath and stayed where she was. Waiting. After a long moment the figure moved over to the porch and easily vaulted the rail to land softly in front of her. She gave him a smile.

"I was wondering when you were going to come back."

"You knew I'd come back?" Zack asked and she shrugged a shoulder with a soft smile.

"You're part of our group. We all made that promise. I knew you'd come eventually."

His exhale was a laugh and it held traces of bitterness but he sat down on the railing he'd just vaulted and on bare feet Tifa walked over to sit down next to him, leaning her shoulder against his.

"Sure you want me?" his voice was low in the dark. "I'm not supposed to be me."

Tifa shook her head, unconcerned.

"You're Zack," she stated simply. "Whether you're the Zack that they remember or not, you're still you. And that's Zack."

"I get why Cloud loves you."

It made her exhale a chuckling sound. If only Cloud would be _in_ love with her instead of just loving her. For a long time they sat together in silence.

"So, your friend – she was in love with me?"

Tifa nodded.

"I met her after but – yeah. She wouldn't talk about it unless she was drunk and that's about as rare as a blue moon but – you were her first love. She wrote – I don't know how many dozens of letters – every week or two. I guess she held out hope a lot longer than I would have because to hear her tell it, she just kept writing and writing, year after year. Even after she'd figured that you were never going to write back. You just – vanished. Never said goodbye or anything."

"Which would make me a jerk," Zack pointed out and Tifa gave him a smile.

"Or not able to answer. Do you really not remember?"

Zack shook his head and then exhaled and lowered it.

"Not a thing. I mean, I'd say you're all crazy but – "

"That would be all of us?"

"Well, not you. Unless you remember me doing something I don't?"

"There was that time you dressed up in the pink lion outfit," Tifa teased and the non-existent event had Zack laughing quietly.

"Yeah, okay. So we're on the same page at least."

Tifa had been thinking about it and so now she asked him:

"Do you think someone could have messed with your memories? Done something to switch them around?"

Zack's shoulder shrugged against hers.

"Maybe. But I don't know why anyone would bother. And your friend said something about a scar I don't have."

Tifa exhaled and nodded. Raised her face to look up at Zack.

"But you'll stay? So we can figure this out together?"

Zack gave an exhaled laugh as he stood up. Looking down at her in the moonlight,his smile was crooked.

"Yeah, Teef. I'll stay. You're my team, right?"

He held out his hand and Tifa rested hers over the top of it. Something in the shadows beyond them shifted and, even though it surprised Tifa when Cloud stepped out of them, Zack didn't seem caught off guard. Cloud walked over and very simply laid his hand over theirs. His eyes, glowing blue, met Zack's own eyes and that seemed to be enough. Zack nodded.

"Besides – I have to figure out what's going on, don't I? I'll stay."

He actually left after that but it was only to go find his room and get some sleep. Tifa stayed where she was on the railing and Cloud sat down next to her after a minute. Together they both watched Zack stride off.

"Watching over me?" Tifa asked softly and Cloud turned his head in the moonlight to look at her. His lips shifted into a soft smile.

"Couldn't sleep," he admitted.

"There's no one there." He looked at her in surprise when she said it and she gave him a smile and leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder.

"When was the last time you slept alone without being able to hear other people in the room with you?" she asked mildly. "Not since my house at least. You get used to having other people around and not being able to hear them after hearing them for so long starts to sound wrong."

He made a low sound in his throat and it made her smile again. She shut her eyes after sneaking another peek at her sleeping siblings. After a moment his arm shifted to slip around her and she leaned into the comfort of him. Her fault – she'd gotten used to sleeping near Cloud Strife and now it wasn't right unless he was there anymore.

She was setting herself up for such a long lasting heartache. It made her wonder how Aerith only got drunk over hers once a year.

"Tifa…"

She waited but he didn't go beyond the sudden hesitation after her name and she made a soft, drowsy noise of query finally. His chin brushed against the top of her head where he had rested it.

"Nothing" he murmured softly. "Just… nothing."

Tifa made a soft noise and turned to nuzzle her nose against his shoulder. Now that he was here, she was starting to feel drowsy. Now that her world was whole again. He'd tell her – if it was important, he'd tell her eventually.

For a long time they sat that way and finally, he made a low sound in his throat and slipped his arms around Tifa to lift her. Half-asleep she turned her face into his chest as he carried her back into her room and settled her down against her brother and sister. She wanted him to stay. To curl up with them the way he had so long ago in Seventh Heaven. But she knew – if people had paid attention before they would even more here. He was a hero and probably couldn't sneeze without people noticing. So she didn't say anything… but she couldn't stop her fingers from curling in his shirt. He leaned low over all three of them, her and her siblings and stayed that way for a long moment. Protective and covering. Finally, he slipped out of her fingers and though half lidded eyes she watched him walk out the door.

He left it open though and took up a spot just outside it, shifting down in the shadows to raise a leg and tip his head back against the pillar. It made her smile and she fell asleep knowing he was there.

When the morning sun stretched in from the door and woke her up, Cloud was gone. But it made something inside Tifa warm and weak – that he'd stayed there in the dark. Denzel and Marlene, oblivious to all of it, were full of talk and energy as they showed her around the large house and showed her where everything was that she'd need to get ready for the day. She made it a mental note to buy some new clothes. The only ones she had were a bit ragged at the edges.

Zack never had gotten his tiki head shirt in Costa del Sol.

Breakfast was apparently a household routine and so before it was time to head that way, Tifa knocked on Aerith's door and let herself in. Denzel and Marlene, reluctantly, had gone off to find Cloud. Not reluctant to spend time with Cloud – reluctant to let Tifa out of their sight. She'd thought it might be best though.

"Good morning," Aerith was in front of her mirror with a brush in one hand and her usual pink ribbon in the other. Smile brilliant. And not fooling Tifa for a second.

"Hey," she greeted her friend and moved over to take the brush from her and start combing through the wavy, brown hair.

"Did you sleep good last night? I've got to admit I've gotten so used to Marlene and Denzel sleeping with me that I didn't get any sleep at all last night," Aerith excused the dark circles under her eyes.

"You'll have to sleep with us from now on," Tifa murmured as the brush moved.

"I'd like that," for just a moment her friend's voice went watery and Tifa let go of the brush to wrap both of her arms around Aerith's shoulders.

"I said I wasn't going to cry," Aerith managed. "Not for him. Not ever again."

"He doesn't remember," Tifa began and Aerith shook her head.

"Not him. **My** Zack. I know – I know he's dead now. That's – that's not him. It's not!" She was shaking her head violently by the end and the tears she'd sworn not to cry were dripping down her cheeks.

"My Zack had a scar on his jaw. Right here. And – his eyes were different. Inside them. They looked different. That's not my Zack. Just – just someone that looks and sounds like him." Aerith had buried her face in her hands by now and Tifa wrapped her arms tighter around her friend and pulled her close, holding her protectively. The only Zack she knew was the one she'd met in the Shinra reactor. She couldn't imagine him being anyone else. But – how would she feel if Cloud came back to her... not Cloud?

"No. He's not your Zack," Tifa answered and put surety into her voice. "He's just a good man that happens to look like someone you remember. That's all. He just happens to have the same name. But he's not your Zack. He won't try to be and you don't have to try to pretend he is. He's just some guy that looks like someone you once knew."

Aerith nodded weakly against Tifa's shoulder and inhaled a couple of shaky breaths.

"Right. He's just some guy. Not my guy. Like – a brother. Or a cousin. Just somebody that looks like the man I remember."

"Yeah," Tifa nodded. "I think he'd be okay with that too. Your Zack would never forget you. Or Cloud. This is just his cousin who didn't realize how like him he looked."

It was a lie but it was a sane lie. Which was much better than whatever the insane truth was. Aerith nodded and wiped at her cheeks with her hands, still leaning into Tifa.

"Just some guy," she repeated and nodded firmly. "Will you – " she held up the ribbon she'd worn as long as Tifa had known her, an almost defiant light starting in her green eyes. "Will you put this in my hair for me?"

"Yeah," Tifa smoothed her friend's hair back into a ponytail and tied the ribbon dutifully in place. "How's that?"

Aerith looked at her reflection in the mirror, and the pink ribbon, and she nodded firmly.

"That's just the way it's supposed to be," she stated and then she stood up and brushed her hands down over her dress before linking her arm though Tifa's. Her smile was bright again and it helped hid what was in her eyes.

"Shall we go to breakfast before they lock us out?"

Zack came to breakfast too and he sat next to Cloud at the table. Tifa hadn't thought he'd run. He was apparently done apologizing too – if he'd ever been tempted to apologize in the first place. He teased Cloud, coaxed Marlene and Denzel into talking, ate huge amounts of food and winked at Tifa across the table. And he firmly refused to either avoid or pay attention to Aerith. Who seemed to stiffen up at the treatment and by the middle of breakfast she was treating him the exact same way and carrying on a running commentary with Marlene for Tifa about what Wutai had to offer in the way of interesting things. Tifa noticed the tension and the lightening in the air but it was better than tears or shrinking and so she didn't do anything to try to break it. Her friend was always at her best when she was in a fighting mood.

The door to the room burst open just as breakfast was finishing and before anyone could really move, Cloud was getting bowled over backward off of the cushion he'd been kneeling on, a enthusiastic Yuffie wrapped around him. And right on the heels of that –

"Baby girl!"

Tifa scrambled to her feet to rush over to Barrett and throw her arms around his familiar huge bulk. She'd been assured last night that the only person they'd lost was her father but… it was still impossibly important to be able to touch and hug Barrett. He had been in her life almost as long as Denzel and was her sometimes father figure, sometimes wandering brother, sometimes older friend. He wrapped her in his arms as well as he could without grinding the metal of his gun arm into her and picked her up to spin around before setting her on her feet. The way he had used to when she was little.

"Barrett!" his name in her voice held all the wonderful emotions seeing him again meant and he grinned, wide and white in response.

"Tifa!"

She turned to see –

"Shera! Cid! Leon!" She couldn't say she'd known them that well but they'd been a constant part of her life for those few weeks and then again a constant part of her thoughts afterward.

"Spiky! I hear my girl busted your butt out of Shinra prison!" Barrett was cheerful enough to include Cloud in his welcome in the background and Tifa threw her arms around Shera in an enthusiastic hug that was returned. It was wonderful to see the other woman without the paleness that her wound had caused. Reaching out, Tifa grabbed Cid's shirtfront and dragged him into the hug as well. He sputtered a surprised curse as he found himself tangled in their arms as well.

"You women gotta get offa me," his voice grated but Tifa noticed he didn't fight them. She also noticed the way Shera leaned into the bigger man using the excuse of 'group hug'. Then she was being jerked out of it and found herself up against –

"Leon!" She was just in the process of bursting into a wide smile, because – everyone was all right! They'd all made it and no one was hurt or dead or – the look in Leon's eyes stopped her suddenly and her own eyes went huge in response. He didn't look happy – he looked –

"I should have done this months ago," his voice was as rough as gravel and he caught her face in his both of his gloved hands and brought his mouth down over hers.

_.0._

_was that what you were yelling for in the background of the phone conversation a couple weeks ago, AmascusMage?_


	53. Chapter 53: Taking Sides

_oh, so tempted to leave this chapter until next week..._

Chapter 53: Taking Sides

Tifa's eyes went huge in her face and she jerked and froze at the same time as Leon kissed her. She'd thought… she'd thought she'd been kissed before but that had been in her teenage years, quick, shy pecks that were nothing – nothing at all – compared to the way she was being kissed now. Leon was heat and passion and – and she slammed her hands up against his chest where it was pressed to hers, shaking her head as she pushed.

She'd put more force into the push than she'd intended to but he'd already been letting go of her the moment she'd started to shake her head. Letting go of her face but his hands closed around her shoulders and he pulled her close again to look down at her and his eyes were intent.

"I know what I said, Tifa," his voice was low and rough at its edges and she saw pain in his eyes. "But I saw you on that damned TV in Midgar… and I thought I'd lost you. I thought I'd lost the woman I loved all over again to Shinra." He shook his head and shook her, though it wasn't hard. "You scared the hell out of me. Don't **do** that again."

For some reason it made Tifa choke out a laugh and she rested her hands on his chest.

"It's not like I planned that," she protested with a weak smile and he returned an equally weak smile. That she could deal with. Tifa could handle the laughter and the panic and the desperation. It was the – it was the kissing she didn't know how to react to. Light, she patted her hands against his chest.

"You didn't lose anyone. See? I'm here. Everyone's here." She hoped the heat on her cheeks wasn't too obvious and she quickly covered by babbling. "I even brought new friends." She turned to introduce them –

and saw Cloud.

His face was absolutely calm and expressionless. But something in his level, just as calm aqua blue eyes said Leon was about to get slaughtered. Somehow, it was an even more terrifying look than the fire that had been in his eyes when he'd tried to kill Zack. Just because Leon had shaken her?

It had probably looked rougher than it had actually been.

"Cloud saved me, you know." She started to go to the blond warrior but Leon's hands tightened on her shoulders. So Tifa simply ducked and twisted so that he couldn't keep a grip on her and, still talking brightly, went over and put her hands on Cloud's chest. His body shifted to loom protectively but his eyes didn't flicker from Leon and if anything, there was electric starting to build in that blue.

"He's kept an eye on me the entire trip here," Tifa continued brightly, curling her fingers so she could press her nails into Cloud through his shirt. His hand came up, inexplicably, to cup her elbow but his eyes didn't change. Tifa got the bizarre notion that he was mentally prepping the materia he carried on him. Which was ridiculous. But –

"Didn't you, Cloud?" she reached up and caught his face in both of her hands, willing him to let her draw it down so that he would stop looking at Leon that way. "Cloud?"

He heard the change in her voice when she said his name the second time, heard the softness and the worry and she watched him forcefully wrench his eyes free to lower them to look at her. The relief was so huge inside her that she actually smiled softly, gently at him. The light and aqua of his eyes all but swirled as they focused and fastened on her.

"Hey," she greeted his attention softly and stroked a thumb over his cheek. Intimate with him the way she usually only let herself be when they were alone and people weren't there to jump to the wrong conclusions.

"You took care of me the entire trip, didn't you?"

His eyes focused on hers and his shoulders sank just a little. He looked – lonely suddenly. A thousand miles away and alone even surrounded by their group. But his eyes didn't abandon hers.

"You got me out of that Shinra building. And you kept me safe when I didn't know where to go or what to do. You took me somewhere warm to get better when I thought I'd lost everyone. You never once left me alone."

His eyes softened in his set face but the loneliness didn't leave. He didn't look like he was going to calmly slaughter anyone anymore though. Tifa gave a quiet exhale of relief. And gave him a quiet smile as well.

"I wouldn't have made it, if you hadn't been there."

Zack finally cleared his throat and Tifa, grateful to him from drawing the attention elsewhere, turned her head as her hands slipped down off of Cloud's face to rest on his chest. She gave him a bright smile.

"All right, Zack. You helped too. Just a little."

"Thanks," he laughed and the tension in the room seemed to relax as well.

"And Red helped too," Tifa turned to look at the creature sitting near Denzel. "Everybody – this is Zack. And Red. They helped us get out of the Shinra building. Red, Zack – this is Barrett, Leon, Cid, Shera and Yuffie. They're friends of mine from Midgar. And they don't like Shinra either."

"Any friend of Teef's is a friend of mine," Zack stated cheerfully, though he gave Leon a warning look and moved to stand closer to Cloud. "In fact, anyone that's not happy with Shinra right now is pretty much a friend of mine. And hey," he turned his attention on Yuffie. "You're Cloud's sister, right? I've heard about you. How, in Gaia's name, do you put up with him? 'Cause I really hit the end of my fuse sometimes."

It was said so openly and cheerfully that Yuffie laughed and danced over to join them.

"He's a real pain sometimes," she agreed with a smile and wrapped both of her hands around one of Cloud's arms.

They were teasing Cloud affectionately and drawing him back into their circle and Tifa felt better. One of these days she was going to explain to the man that let her go out and fight monsters on her own that a little shaking didn't hurt her –

Just not today.

"So have you guys eaten yet?" Tifa asked the rest of the newly arrived group cheerfully and soon had everyone at the table with new food being brought in. Aerith caught her in a private moment and muttered:

"That was scary."

"Tell me," Tifa agreed.

"So which guy should I be cheering for?" Aerith asked brightly and Tifa shot her a look. Which Aerith returned, not about to let Tifa get away with playing innocent.

"Neither," Tifa answered, embarrassed and annoyed. Aerith shook her head.

"That's no fun at all."

Zack must have caught the way Tifa's eyes were starting to roll in panic because he called her over from across the room to come join him. She did with relief and he soon had her laughing as he charmed Shera and teased Cid about his tea obsession – but Aerith's question kept rolling over and over inside Tifa's head for the rest of the morning.

Which one? The guy that admitted he loved her that she didn't love back? Or the one she was hopelessly in love with and who didn't return the emotion?

Even if she could have controlled her emotions, which she didn't think she could, would she have even wanted to do anything differently?

By the time everyone was done eating, Zack had organized a tour of Wutai with Yuffie as their enthusiastic guide. Tifa took Denzel, Marlene and Red and went with them. Mostly so that she wouldn't have to be alone with anyone that was going to ask her difficult questions and, considering even Shera was shooting her curious glances, Tifa figured that was just about everyone. Zack however, wasn't interested in asking and made it a point to not leave her alone with anyone else that seemed to be.

She would have gladly erected a monument to him for it.

She caught Denzel and Marlene in 'plot' mode a couple of times but they just gave her bright, innocent smiles when cornered and she figured she was just going to have to wait until they made their move to find out what evil they had fermenting. They did prove to be wonderful distractions however for most of the day, dragging her all over Wutai's capital almost as much as Zack and Yuffie. They didn't get back until after dinner and Tifa was grateful for that too. She needed some time to figure things out inside herself – and a little bit of time for everyone to forget this morning – before she was ready to go again.

Aerith was waiting for her when she got back however and her friend made a sealing motion over her lips.

"I won't say a word," she promised. "Not tonight at least. I just want to show you the firefly garden they've got here. The kids and I go every night before bed."

So Yuffie and Zack handed her off to Aerith and Red tagged along. Marlene and Denzel caught both of Tifa's hands and kept tugging faster and faster until everyone was running down the path, laughing.

The firefly garden was tall grass and low ponds and true to its name, what looked like a hundred or more of the brilliant bugs tracing lazy patterns in the evening air. Tifa sat down next to Aerith while the children and Red chased the bugs through the grass and started, finally, to relax. Aeirth, having promised not to talk about 'the incident' stayed quiet next to her for a long time. Finally she said:

"He really jumped in, didn't he?"

"Mm?" Tifa asked and Aerith, watching the children, said:

"Zack. All day. He really jumped in and covered for you, didn't he?"

Tifa was quiet for a little while. Not sure how much to say to her friend.

"He's the one that unlocked the cell door in the Shinra building to get us out. Since then he's been like a brother. An observant, commiserating brother."

Aerith nodded and didn't say anything else.

Tifa let the children play until they started yawning and then she rounded everyone up and headed back to their rooms. Aerith took her up on her offer and slept with them and Red in Tifa's room and soon Tifa was half buried under sleeping bodies, listening to the longed for sound of her sleeping family.

The problem was that Tifa herself couldn't get to sleep.

After a while, she finally gave up and stole one of the thin quilts to wrap around herself again as she walked on silent, bare feet over to the door and slid it open. And saw –

sunshine…

"Cloud…"

He lifted his head from his chest but didn't move from where he was sitting against one of the pillars, one leg bent at the knee. In the moonlight he looked drowsy and yet his eyes were reflective blue and brilliantly bright. And guardedly watchful. Tifa left the bedroom door open in case one of her siblings started to make noise and padded over to where he was. Exhaling deeply as she reached him, she settled down on the wood floor next to him.

"Everyone's safe," she stated softly and heard his hummed agreement next to her. With a sigh, she tipped her head back to rest against the pillar and looked up at the ceiling of the porch.

"Everything's going to change now." She watched the whirled patterns of the wood above her. "And – its stupid but I wish it wouldn't."

Cloud was silent next to her in the dark and she hadn't been expecting a response.

"We can't really stay in Wutai. Not for long at least. I saw Shinra soldiers today. Just wandering around but it means we're not safe here either. Not the ones they'd recognize at least. Me and you and Zack. Maybe Leon and the others." She wrapped the quilt a little bit tighter around her and shifted against the pole. "I meant what I promised too. About stopping Shinra. Even if I got my family back, most of it, there are so many others that never will. And not just in Midgar but in New Corel and even here in Wutai. And we still have to find out what happened to Zack's memories." She rolled her head a little to look at the side of Cloud's impassive face in the moonlight.

"And that thing we saw on the ship in del Sol. Jenova and Sephiroth."

Cloud's breathing was steady and even next to her and it helped sooth her. Helped quiet her rushing head. After a minute, Cloud finally spoke.

"There's a scientist rumored to be outside of Wutai. He helped Shinra with their Jenova project. I'm going to go find him and get some answers tomorrow."

"With us, you mean," Zack walked out of the shadows, startling Tifa but Cloud didn't seem surprised at all. He just turned his head to look at the other man. Zack came over and dropped down in front of both of them to rest on his heels, wrists over his knees.

"Cause I've been thinking – Lifestream is memories and stuff. And SOLDIERs are infused with mako, which is concentrated Lifestream. What if that messes with your own memories or something? What if I got a dose of someone else's memories and it short-circuited some of my own? Doesn't explain the scar or anything but – it's a start, right?"

"We're a team, aren't we?" Tifa asked it simply. "Which means we stick together. If you go, Cloud, then Zack and I go too." She shrugged at Cloud's look. "Part of the deal."

Hesitant, Cloud nodded but his voice was sure.

"We'll go tomorrow. Rumor had it that he was holed up in the mountains around here."

"Good." For some reason Tifa felt as if they'd just settled so much more than when they were going to hunt down a scientist. In fact, her heart felt more at ease than it had all day. She stood up and started back toward her door. Pausing, she looked back at the two men, light and dark, in the shadows.

"Are you – are you going to stay out here for a while longer?" she asked and Zack looked over at Cloud. Who nodded. Just once. Zack looked back at her with a smile.

"You know it, Lockhart. Go get some sleep. We'll wait until you're gone to gossip about you." He looked back at Cloud. "Or motorcycle engines."

It made her laugh softly and she padded silently back into her room and slid herself back among the pile of family and friend on the wide bed mat. Denzel was awake and his eyes flickered in the dark at her but he snuggled back in against her back as she settled and his breathing slowed almost immediately. She didn't close the door between her room and the porch. Content that her friends were here and there. She surprised herself by falling asleep quickly and deeply.


	54. Chapter 54: Changes

_first off - I found someone who did a Tifa vid using the karaoke song from way back in chapter 10 Extraordinary Way over on YouTube. Totally unrelated to my story but it made me happy. Look up CloudxTifa - Extrodinary Way by Kiari002 if you're interested. She also did a georgous ::It's Hard To Let It Go:: vid for the couple as well. All thanks go to Peek-chan for still putting up with my punctuationless plane of existance in her efforts to edit my work and for the comments that always make me laugh. For my best beloveds... zi-ling - my jewel toned consistant one - you made me laugh. Yeah, I thought I might get hunted down and flamed if I left out the last chapter. Glad you approved of the twists though. I enjoyed jealous Cloud myself. Calenlass - I will do my best to live up to your faith in me. Yeah, Leon popped that kiss in there on me too, but it worked so I was pleased. And I'm going to try to bring in most of the game team at least though not necessarily in the way they were in the game. Cait hasn't showed up yet in my head but I know where Vincent is coming in for instance. Hey, the more the merrier, right? Biskitty - huzzah! that must have been a mess of reading to catch up so fast. I'm really glad you're enjoying it though :D Kill them all? Am I that cruel? Well, yeah, I probably am but yeah, I just couldn't leave Tifa like that. Not so early on in the story at least. And Zack... dear Zack, I so have plans for him... Fairheartstrife - yea! you're here! Yep, poor Tifa, how she suffers so with the duel attention, right? lol and here's your answer to what awaits in the mountains too. Glad you're enjoying the mush, I have so much fun writing it I sometimes wonder if I overdo it. Dis - you've got a devious mind. I LIKE it! Yes, yes, breaking Zack would be fun, wouldn't it... Oceanee - hey, welcome along for the ride! Sodas are in the fridge, just sit back and relax. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it so far and I'll do my best to not disappoint. Yeah, I think we've got a line forming of people wanting to just smack Cloud and Tifa in the back of the head, feel free to sign up ;) And last but never least Ktisis - I do love you guys. And yea! I was wondering how many people actually face palmed at Tifa's 'cloud's just upset because leon shook me'. I love writing stuff like that and as I've said, jealous Cloud was a heck of a fun to write considering how much he usually buries his emotions. And please! stick around. Zack's mystery is probably turning into something just as bad as Cloud's but Cloud's at least had a few years to adjust to his. And awwww, thanks for the thanks. I try to be consistent with my updates. And speaking of which..._

Chapter 54: Changes

Tifa was in the process of packing a small bag when Aerith burst into her room early the next morning. It was just after breakfast and her friend had gone to her own room to gather up her stuff and move it into Tifa's. Now she rushed in and Tifa looked up in mild surprise from the food packets she was sorting through while Denzel and Marlene sat on her bed with her and 'helped'.

"You were just going to disappear!?" Aerith demanded and Tifa's brows came down.

"Um, no?" she guessed and Aerith marched over to drop down onto the bed next to her.

"But Zack's got a – and you're packing too! And Zack said you were going with him!"

Tifa paused in her packing and tipped her head to look at her friend thoughtfully.

"You're talking to Zack now?" she asked and Aerith gave her a scowl.

"It's not as if I can ignore him and be polite, is it? And besides – he's going off somewhere with you! You just got here!"

Tifa cleared her throat and ducked her head to look at the food packets to keep herself from laughing. Aerith made it sound like they were running away together.

"Cloud's coming too," she pointed out. "We're not going anywhere except the mountains. We should be back by tonight or tomorrow."

That had been hard, explaining that to her siblings. Explaining that she'd just found them, and now she had to go away again. It helped that 'away' wasn't far or for long but she still felt horrible about leaving them and they were sticking very tightly to her side until then. For some reason when they'd found out she was going with Cloud they'd visibly relaxed a little. Aerith crossed her arms.

"Why?" she demanded and Tifa could tell she wasn't happy. A quick glance told Tifa that she was looking at the kids and Tifa knew she was thinking the same thing Tifa already had. She sighed and sat back on her heels.

"Because there's a man we need to find. He's an expert on mako and the weird experiments Shinra was doing. We ran into that weird creature when we were in del Sol and Cloud thinks it might have something to do with that. Zack's going – because he's Zack. And because he wants to know if Shinra might have done something to his memories."

She had no problem with Denzel and Marlene knowing what was going on. They had a right to know why she was going and what was going on and she'd already explained what she was telling Aerith now to them. Aerith frowned and kept her arms folded over her chest.

"Then I'm going too."

She raised her chin when Tifa looked at her.

"I know how to use materia. And if someone messed with Zack's memories about me, I want to know who did it so I can give them a quick boot in the a-" she noticed the two gleeful pairs of young eyes watching her and finished primly: "-ppendix."

"Kick them in the appendix?" Tifa snorted and her friend just gave her a smile. But then her face got serious.

"I need to come too, Tifa. I need to know what happened to the man I was in love with once."

"The scientist might not know anything. Zack's just guessing. We just know he knows about Jenova."

"Well, saving the planet from horrible monsters is important too," Aerith agreed brightly and Tifa had to laugh.

"I guess I'll go ask Barrett to watch the kids for me then," Tifa looked over at her siblings. Who were suddenly looking much more cheerful than they had before. They knew they could get away with all kinds of things with Barrett that Aerith never would have allowed. Tifa figured it couldn't be helped and mentally consigned Barrett to both sainthood and hoodwinkery for the rest of his life. If you couldn't keep up with a Lockhart, you pretty much deserved whatever you got.

Barrett wasn't happy about her going off again so soon either when she talked to him but he agreed to watch the children. Despite the mischief, her siblings were easy kids to take care of and Tifa knew that Barrett enjoyed being around children that didn't think having a gun grafted to your arm was unusual or scary. Marlene and Denzel tagged along with Tifa until the very end though.

"Hey, Lockhart," Zack greeted her from where he was standing outside in the courtyard with Cloud and Red. He nodded to the kids. "Mini-Lockharts."

"Hey, Zack," Marlene was already charmed by the dark haired ex-SOLDIER after spending the day with him and even Denzel gave him a shy smile before moving past him and over to where Red and Cloud were to tug at the blond warrior's gloved hand. Cloud very seriously went down to a knee for the younger boy.

"Aerith is coming," Tifa told Zack and his eyebrows went up a little. He turned his head to the brunette.

"O-kay."

Aerith didn't apparently see the need to explain why and since Zack didn't feel like he had a right to ask apparently either, Tifa got off without having to get in the middle of anything. Which worked just as well for her. She started to turn her attention to Denzel and Cloud when Marlene suddenly grabbed her hand and started talking.

"You'll be careful, right?" the younger girl asked. "Cause there are monsters up in the mountains. I've heard people say so. And Aerith's got a PHS now – so you'll call us if something happens."

Tifa had a sneaking suspicion that Marlene was distracting her from whatever Denzel was up to with Cloud but she couldn't ignore her sister's questions. They'd been torn apart and lost to each other once already and Tifa herself knew the bone deep fear of it ever happening again. She wasn't leaving her sister and brother behind lightly. It was just – she had to go with Cloud and Zack. She had to know what was going on. She thought her siblings understood that – Lockharts understood that 'family' didn't have to share your last name. She also knew that rational thought didn't get in the way of scarred emotions though.

"You know I'll do everything in my power to always come back to you and Denzel, Marlene." Tifa went to her knees in front of her sister, which actually made her a little shorter than the girl. Gentle she wrapped her hands around the younger girl's shoulders. "Everything and anything in the world. I thought I lost you once – I won't go through that again. I'll come back. And if I'm not going to be able to make it back tonight, I'll call you both on Aerith's phone so I can tell you goodnight and let you know what I've done today. I'll do that every day from now on that I'm not going to be with you both. I promise. We're not going to lose each other again."

Marlene's eyes were watery – Tifa's were as well – and she knew even if her sister was distracting her on purpose the tears were real. She pulled the younger girl into her arms and held her tightly and a moment later she felt Denzel's body impact with the back of hers and he wound his arms around her throat from behind. She stayed that way, buried by her siblings, for a very long moment.

"I'll be back. Everything will be fine. You'll see."

They had known she'd been in danger and they'd known she was wandering the planet somewhere away from them before…

but Tifa had thought she'd lost them for the rest of her life. She had no intention of ever going through that again and surviving. Very softly, just for their ears she added:

"And – Denzel – Cloud will tell me what you talked to him about if I ask."

Denzel, face buried against the back of her shoulder, made a hiccupping noise and she smiled. And then the smile froze as Denzel confessed:

"I just asked him if he remembered he'd promised us he'd protect you. He said he'd already made that promise years before I even asked."

"oh…" it came out a tiny noise and Marlene rubbed her face against Tifa's throat and stated in a fierce whisper:

"Leon didn't do that. Cloud takes better care of you than Leon. He's the one that saved you."

It made Tifa's heart twist. Because she knew it was unfair to Leon that the children were comparing him to Cloud. Leon had come to rescue her, Cloud had just had the advantage of having Zack and having done it already. But more…

She knew what her brother and sister were doing and – it made her heart hurt. Because she wanted what they wanted too. One word.

Cloud.

But things didn't work out that way. And it didn't matter how badly they wanted him to be a part of their family as more than a friend or how much Tifa wanted him to fall in love with her – life didn't work that way and she couldn't make up his heart for him. She squeezed her eyes shut and held Marlene and Denzel's arms tightly. All Tifa could do was love him for the rest of her life and make sure he always felt welcome in her family. It was going to have to be enough.

Deep in her heart, Tifa knew she should forget about Cloud and let Leon try to win her heart. It was just that Tifa's heart was stubborn and it had already given itself away so that there was nothing left to win. She could go through the motions for Leon and she did like him as a friend. He might even accept that. But… Tifa never would. It was all or nothing with her heart and the way she lived her life. Maybe she still didn't think it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but it was better to be true to yourself than pretend you could do anything else. She was the kind of girl that would rather be alone than with the wrong person. She exhaled and gave her siblings a tight squeeze before untangling herself and standing up.

"Don't take advantage of him," she told them firmly and anyone listening would have thought she was talking about Barrett. She and her siblings knew she wasn't. Then she tousled both of their hair. Red came over and sat down next to Denzel and Tifa gave him a smile of thanks. Then she turned to the others that were now waiting for them and gave them a bright smile.

"Okay," she announced. "Let's go find a mad scientist."

Zack started to chuckle and, for just a moment, she saw the glint of laughter in Cloud's blue eyes as well as he drew them back from intently watching her and her siblings. Aerith caught up to her on the way out the back gate as the team headed out.

"I bought you a PHS too," she palmed it into Tifa's hand, looking over at her with bittersweet green eyes that were still smiling. "Because I thought we should keep in touch better."

Tifa was just in the process of giving her friend a one armed hug when Cloud, in the lead, came to a sudden stop. Cloud didn't come to sudden stops unless it meant trouble. Tifa and Zack both moved in front of a clueless Aerith at the same time.

"Wha- " Aerith began. And then Cloud's voice, low and emotionless, came. One word. And Tifa's throat went dry.

"Cissnei."

"Hello, Cloud." The auburn haired woman stepped away from the building she'd been standing in the shadow of. Her head turned and she looked at Zack in surprise before blinking and giving him a nod. "I should have known when you went missing you'd be with Strife."

Zack stepped forward.

"Yeah, about that – " he started but she shook her head.

"I can't tell you anything. Zack." Tifa heard the way her voice softened on the name but she thought she saw sorrow in the other woman's eyes as well.

"What do you mean 'you can't tell me anything'!? This is my life we're talking here, Cissnei!" Zack wasn't content with her answer. But he still hadn't gone for his sword even if his voice had dropped into angry. The petite woman turned her attention from him however and focused on Cloud. To Tifa it looked like it was against her will but she couldn't seem to help taking another step to be closer to the blond warrior.

Tifa knew the feeling.

"They knew you'd come back here," she told him and Zack was quieted by the threat to his friend. "You just took longer than they expected." Her eyes shifted past Cloud's shoulder to focus briefly on Tifa and then she looked back up at him.

"How long do I have?" Cloud asked low and she took one more unwilling step to stand in front of him, head tipped as she met his eyes.

"I'm the only left. Everyone else is on other missions now. I'm supposed to call in when you arrive and keep an eye on you until the others get here."

Cloud's head lowered as he looked at her and Tifa felt her heart clench at the extra rumble his voice took on as he softly asked:

"How long?"

Tifa watched the other woman's hands clench and she turned her head away. Strands of cinnamon hair fell across her delicate face.

"I haven't phoned it in yet."

Cloud exhaled silently and gently touched her shoulder. Tifa watched the other woman jerk an inhale. Even as clueless as Cloud was about women, Tifa couldn't believe he didn't realize the one in front of him was in love with him.

It hurt deep in her chest because she suspected Cloud was in love with the delicate woman too.

"I need your help," he told her softly and her face rose to his. Tifa didn't have to be all that observant to see the hope and fear and heartache in the other woman's eyes.

"I can't keep – "

"Gast. I need to know where Gast is hiding."

Not the question she'd expected and her thin brows went down.

"I can't tell you that."

"Cissnei," his voice was very low on her name. "I think Sephiroth is alive. I need to find Gast."

Her eyes went wide then.

"Sephiroth? But he's dead."

"I thought so. But we fought Jenova birth the other day."

Her face went pale and her brows drew down over her eyes.

"But we quarantined – why wouldn't I know if the seals had been broken?"

"Maybe because you didn't 'need to know'. Cissnei – Gast."

Her eyes rose to his again and she looked young suddenly. Younger.

"The statue of Da Chao. There's an entrance behind its left ear. He's been hiding there."

Cloud nodded and his voice took that wonderful dip.

"Thank you."

"I – I have to call you in," she warned and Cloud nodded.

"Give us three hours."

"Two."

Cloud nodded again. That single dip of his head.

"Two."

Then he was moving again, heading forward, and Tifa caught Aerith's arm to remind her to come along. The red headed woman watched her as she walked past and Tifa glanced over to make eye contact. Was that what attracted Cloud? A woman that was brave and competent and good hearted?

And then they were past and headed down a street that Tifa knew would lead them out of town and into the mountains. Her legs fell into the familiar stride of traveling with Cloud and Zack but her head didn't find the usual comfort in it.


	55. Chapter 55: Tight Places

Chapter 55: Tight Places

The entrance was where Cissnei had said it was, a mere slit in the rock behind one of the giant statue's ears that had, until they checked around it, looked like it was carved directly into the rock. Zack and Cloud crouched in front of it and Tifa was glad for their mako-enhanced vision because beyond the sun outside, the hole leading down and back into the mountain looked blacker than a starless night to her. Aerith stood next to her, a bit back from the guys, hands on her knees as she caught her breath.

"I feel so out of shape next to you three," she confided to Tifa and Tifa just smiled at her best friend.

"We've been walking everywhere. You get used to it after a while."

Cloud turned away from the slit in the rock and came over to join them. He held out his hand and Tifa saw he had a PHS in it.

Apparently great – or just paranoid minds – thought alike.

"Call Barrett. Tell him to take Marlene and Denzel and go somewhere other than the capital."

Tifa took the phone from him without thinking about it.

"You think Shinra knows about them?"

Cloud shook his head, the familiar barely there move of his chin.

"I don't know. Probably not before but who knows how long Cissnei watched us or what kind of information someone might let slip without realizing it. I didn't want to ask her because I didn't want her to figure it out if she hadn't already. That's why we needed to wait before we called Barrett too. If she was watching and he left the house right after we left her, she might figure it out. Call him and tell him to move the kids somewhere safe. We'll pick them up after this."

Tifa, suddenly worried for her family, nodded and opened the phone. Shinra had no idea about most of the people that had lived in the slums under their city and Tifa hadn't been worried about the corporation coming after her family to get to her. Shinra had no idea if she even _had _family. Except… they might now. Whether Cloud was in love with that other woman or not, if she caused any danger to Tifa's sister and brother, Tifa would personally beat the living daylights out of her.

"Barrett. No, everyone's fine." Tifa cradled the phone against her ear as Cloud moved over to begin handing Aerith materia. "But I need you to take the kids and sneak out of the city. Go somewhere you can disappear for a while. No, everyone's fine but Shinra is looking for us in the capital. I don't want the kids – yeah. Just like that. Look, don't make it obvious in case anyone's watching the building. No. Everyone's fine. I'm fine. We're almost where we need to be. I'll call you when we get done. Yeah, I know." She actually smiled. "You too."

She hung up – and then thought better of it and flipped open the phone again to program in her new cell phone number as well as a couple others she thought might be important. Next she looked up Cloud's and memorized it, brows down in concentration. A choked sound next to her had her looking up and into blue eyes that went forever deep. For a moment – just a moment – she forgot everything else. His hand closed over hers and she remembered.

"Changing my ring tones?" Cloud asked and there was just the hint of a smile at the edges of his lips. It made her smile in response.

"What's wrong with 'Staying Alive'?" she teased and his lips shifted upward just a little more as the laughter moved into his eyes. He exhaled a silent laugh and it moved the hair hanging across her eyes.

"I was putting in my own number," she told him before realizing what a 'girlfriend' kind of thing that sounded like and quickly adding: "And Aerith's and Barrett's. So we don't lose each other again."

He made a soft noise, dipping his chin in a slight nod. The tip of his nose brushed the hair over her forehead with the move.

Tifa decided she was going to kick Cissnei's butt anyway. Just because…

"That way, even if one of us loses our phone and the other one breaks theirs, we've still got one to call Barrett with."

She was just talking to buy a second or two more to be this close to him and he made a low, agreeing noise in his throat and didn't move away.

He smelled good. That familiar, clean, just before a storm smell…

"Which is when I said 'marry her and make an honest woman out of her'."

Tifa had been aware of Zack talking in the background but hadn't been paying attention until those words registered. Then she jerked her head around and stared at him in horror. The dark haired man had a foot resting on a rock and both arms loose over that knee as he told Aerith his story which, from her appearance, hands behind her back and a little leaned forward, had her full attention.

"Zack," Tifa hissed it at him and he looked over at her, face entirely boyish innocence.

"What?" he asked cheerfully. "I'm just telling Aerith here about the time we all slept together at that old man's. You know," he turned his attention back on a gleeful looking Aerith. "As opposed to those times we all slept together out on the trail or in the cottage in Costa del Sol."

"Don't -" Tifa pressed her fingertips to her forehead and then dropped them to look at Zack. "Don't believe a word he says," she informed her friend. Aerith looked over at her with a smile and mischief in her eyes.

"But he's telling me the most interesting things you apparently forgot to tell me."

"Don't we have a cave to get lost in?" Tifa asked and Cloud grunted a laugh as he moved past her, his arm brushing lightly against hers.

"Gast," he reminded, voice its usual soft, yet rough, tone and Zack straightened up, growing serious. For a moment. Then Zack punched his fist into his other hand and fell into step behind Cloud.

"Come and get it," he muttered cheerfully, reaching behind him to unsling his sword.

Cloud took the lead and Tifa took up the last spot, following behind Aerith and trying to keep an ear behind her. Somehow – she thought Cissnei would keep her word and wait those two hours but she wasn't about to count on it and get caught. Tifa figured it had already taken them too much time to get this far.

The tunnel was a tight fit and she had to duck down and walk bent over to move through it. If it was tight for her she could only imagine how it must be for the guys. Especially since she couldn't see anything in the dark and had to move along with her hand on the ceiling above her – glad it was dirt and stone and not slime or cobwebs. She'd slipped her fighting gloves back on somewhere along the trail for their familiar reassurance and the materia in them glowed faintly. She heard a murmur in front of her and then Aerith's voice directly in front of her.

"Left turn."

Tifa slid her hand down the wall and felt where it started so she could follow it around. It was a pretty tight turn and she came around it to find sudden light and standing room. Everyone else was already in the open space and Zack was running a hand over his face.

"Hate tight places, man," he muttered and Cloud didn't look too relaxed or steady either. Both of their faces looked tight and pale and Cloud's had a thin sheen of sweat over it. Tifa moved over automatically to ruffle Zack's hair and bump her shoulder up against Cloud's. _Two _claustrophobics? Though she already knew the explanation for Cloud's.

She couldn't imagine being in a test tube and not coming out of it determined to never be that confined again.

Cloud turned his head when she bumped against him and the tip of his nose brushed against her hair again. She heard him inhale deeply.

"So – where are we?" she asked to give the guys something else to focus on. Not oblivious to the way Aerith was watching Zack in puzzlement. Had he not been claustrophobic when Aerith had known him or had it just never come up? Zack gave a nod, brows coming down as he pushed away the phobia and looked around the room.

The open place they found themselves in was a long cave of sorts with a pool of water at one end. Several tunnels led off of it and - the first sign of human habitation - there were tubes of lights flickering unreliably on the sanded down ceiling.

"She wouldn't," Cloud answered low before Tifa could finish wondering if Cissnei had just sent them into a trap. She gave him a look and the very edge of his mouth lifted on one side. "Because I thought the same thing," he answered the question she hadn't asked again.

"I'm thinking of a number between one and seventy," Tifa warned him softly and he exhaled a silent laugh.

Zack had moved over to examine the tunnel entrances.

"Sixteen?" he guessed in a quiet murmur so his voice wouldn't carry far.

"Two," Aerith murmured. "She always thinks two. I think it's Denzel and Marlene showing up unconsciously in her head."

"This one," Zack gestured them all over to the middle tunnel. "I hear engines running in that one," he pointed to the first tunnel where Tifa heard absolutely nothing. "So I'm thinking that's the generator. And the other one is too close to the water."

"Which means too cold during the winter," Cloud agreed. Zack nodded and grinned before he gestured with his head down the tunnel they were in front of. Cloud gave a nod of his own and Zack moved aside so the blond could go down the tunnel first. The dark haired warrior followed close behind with a wink for the girls and again, Tifa took up the last spot.

The tunnel took a few winding turns and then settled down into a straight shot and it never narrowed down the way the entrance had. The same tubed lighting glowed on the ceiling here as well and Tifa saw when the tunnel took a sharp turn and her friends disappeared around it. Directly around the curve, the tunnel came to an end in front of a large metal door with a keypad next to it.

"I got this." Zack gestured everyone else back and Cloud moved to stand in front of the girls. Zack gave an almost soundless grunt and then his sword was suddenly flashing through the air and, to Tifa's shock, tearing right through the door. Cloud made a quietly pleased sound low in his throat and Aerith gasped. Zack stepped back and applied his boot to the remains of the door and it fell inward.

"Subtle but effective," Tifa admitted as a surprised yell came from the interior of the room. Cloud and Zack bolted through the ruined doorway.

Tifa and Aerith weren't far behind and as she went through things registered in quick glimpses to Tifa. They were in a sparsely furnished little apartment of sorts. It was cooler in here than it was outside. And Zack and Cloud were blocking a tall, thin man in glasses from what looked like a door and another tunnel. So far the man was keeping a table between him and them but he wasn't going anywhere from the look of things.

"Please," Tifa stepped forward. "We just want to talk."

"Knocking might have made me believe you," the thin man answered, still dodging around the table but with a surprisingly cognizant response for someone that had two mako-enhanced men working on cornering him. Tifa thought, if he'd had a weapon he would have used it already.

"We didn't want you leaving," Tifa held up her hands to show she didn't have anything either and Cloud settled in front of the escape tunnel. Zack stayed on the other side of the table but kept himself between the other man and the second door.

"Well, I'd say you were doing a pretty good job of it," the man replied, eyes narrowed behind his glasses as he suspiciously watched Zack.

"You're Professor Gast?" At his nod, Tifa took a breath and stated: "We have some questions about Jenova."

The dead silence that fell at her words seemed like the pause of the world and the thin man turned with huge eyes and a pale face.

"So Sephiroth did come back…"

"Please," Aerith stepped forward with her best 'innocent, harmless, trusting' personality on. "We just want to ask a few questions."

If anything though the thin man went even paler and he staggered back against the table. Tifa actually moved forward a little because he looked like he was having a heart attack. He was even clutching at his chest with his hand. And –

staring at Aerith.

"Ifalna?"


	56. Chapter 56: Not Enough Answers

Chapter 56: Not Enough Answers

Tifa glanced over at her friend. She recognizing the name and from Aerith's face she was just as surprised and puzzled as Tifa was. The brunette shook her head.

"No. That was my mother. I'm Aerith."

"Aerith…" the thin man repeated in a whisper and his face changed and for a second Tifa thought he was going to cry. He blinked behind his glasses and looked at Aerith like a little boy. "Where's your mother… Aerith?"

Tifa shifted over and rested her shoulder against Aerith's. Her best friend's hand came down to find and link with hers.

"My mother died when I was little." Aerith never spoke about those times, not even to Tifa. Just that her mother had died and Elmyra had taken her in. "Shinra killed her."

Tifa had never known that part and she tightened her fingers around Aerith's. The thin man's face seemed to grow older as she watched and he hung his head. His voice was very soft as he whispered:

"I thought so." He straightened slowly and looked at the two men blocking his escape. "It's all right. You can take me now. Whatever you've got planned, I deserve it."

Cloud stepped forward then and shook his head.

"Just questions."

The thin man narrowed his eyes at the blond warrior and straightened up to his full height.

"Don't think I don't know who you are, Cloud Strife. I heard what you did to Hojo. Did they ever find all the pieces of him?"

Cloud's blue eyes were blank and unreflective and they blinked once, very slowly.

"Just questions," he repeated and his voice was very soft and surprisingly gentle. The other man sagged and gestured.

"Do you mind if I make myself some tea?" his voice sounded weak and torn between laughter and probably screaming. Tifa had felt that way before sometimes. She started to open her mouth but Aerith spoke first.

"I'll make it," she volunteered and again, the thin man looked as if he were about to cry. Aerith made 'shoo'ing motions toward the armchairs in the corner. "Go sit down."

The man obeyed her meekly and seemed to shrink into his chair. Tifa, with a glance at Cloud, went over and sat down in the one closest to the professor. He looked at her and smiled a little weakly behind his glasses.

"You're a friend of my – of that young lady?"

"She's my best friend," Tifa supplied. Then she gestured in her 'bartender you know you want to tell me your problems' mode. "And these are our friends too. They've been keeping us safe."

He nodded and seemed to gather himself a little, sitting up a bit straighter. Thoughtful, he pushed his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

"You mentioned Jenova?"

Tifa nodded.

"Yes. We were attacked by something – " her hand made a gesture that was incomplete. "Something – wrong. Cloud said it was Jenova birth. And it made him think that Sephiroth wasn't dead after all. But he remembers killing him."

Gast nodded, listening to the information and rubbed at his mustache.

"How much do you know?" he asked her as the familiar sounds of Aerith puttering around in the 'kitchen' came and Tifa shook her head.

"Not much and Aerith knows even less."

At the mention of the other girl's name, the professor turned his head briefly to spot her and then relaxed a little in his chair. He shot a quick glance at Cloud and then looked at Tifa.

"Long ago, before the history of the world, the planet was inhabited by a race called the Cetra. Some people also call them Ancients. They were an itinerant race that roamed the planet. They could communicate directly with the planet and manipulate it for healing and growth."

Tifa had the distinct impression she was back in school. Aerith came over with the cup of tea and handed it to the professor who gave her a grateful look that lingered on her face as Aerith took a nearby seat and sat forward in her 'interested' mode.

"Over time the race divided into two – the Cetra and – us. We are the descendants of the Cetra that had given up traveling and laboring for the planet in favor of comfort and leisure. We lost the ability to speak with the planet and our life spans dwindled. The Cetra passed into legend and disappeared. The research I was doing originally was to discover if there were any Cetra – Ancients – left alive on the planet. I was working for Shinra at the time and they had dreams of finding a 'Promised Land' only the Certa were supposed to have the ability to reach. It was fascinating research but it all seemed dead research until, one day, a Shinra survey crew fotud something amazing encased in pure solidified mako in the Northern Crater."

"A Cetra?" Tifa guessed because that seemed to be her line. His eyes shone behind his glasses at her.

"That was what we thought. The remains of a Cetra. It was – exhilarating. We were ecstatic. And in our excitement, we didn't pay attention to the warning signs."

It sounded like the beginning of a bad horror movie and so Tifa couldn't help but sit forward in interest.

"What we thought for quite a long time was a Cetra turned out to be something else entirely. An alien, a planet devourer, the 'calamity from the skies'. Long ago, this creature destroyed the already fading Cetra and threatened to destroy the entire world. Its name was Jenova."

Tifa suddenly decided that she might not like the way this horror story was going after all but it was a little late to turn back now. She was getting used to the idea of Shinra eventually killing the planet and needing to be stopped. But Jenova's ability to do the same thing sounded much more immediate.

"How do you know its name?" Aerith surprised them all by asking and for a moment, the professor looked at her and it was as if an old horror was rolling across him.

"It told us." He took a sip of his tea with a hand that wasn't entirely steady. "But by then it was already too late. We'd tried to recreate the Cetra, you see. Using the creature and gene manipulation."

Tifa shifted uncomfortably.

"What do you mean by 'gene manipulation'?" she asked and Gast's shoulders sagged inward.

"I left the project because of it. A pregnant woman was injected with the creature's cells. They had an amazing ability to revive despite their dormancy of millennia and to graft themselves to other living tissue. What resulted was an amalgamation of the two."

"You – injected a baby?" Tifa didn't sound as enthused but she did sound as horrified as Gast had and he nodded, head sagging.

"We did. The sin is mine. I was so interested in knowledge that I stopped paying attention. The woman was willing – but after she was injected – the changes began. And the creature finally began to speak to us. Inside our heads."

Tifa couldn't stop herself. She covered her mouth with her hands.

"I couldn't – I couldn't be a part of it anymore." Gast looked down at his tea. Hands shaking badly. "They went on with their experiment and I quit. I never found out what happened to the woman or her child. I ran away. I hid." He looked up and over at Aerith suddenly and his face softened. "And I found a woman who made the nightmares go away. Her name was Ifalna."

Aerith sat forward – and then back in her chair.

"My mother."

Gast nodded and his face was very sad.

"I fell in love with her. And… then I realized how she could make the whispering dreams go away." He paused, hesitated. "She was a Cetra. The last of her kind."

Again, the world went still with its waiting breath and Aerith's hands rose very slowly to fold in front of her over her chest. Gast continued gently.

"She could hear the voices of the planet. Could feel the Lifestream itself. She could coax life back into even the most dead of surroundings. Could heal the human body. And she was – she was beautiful…"

After a very long pause, Aerith softly asked:

"What – what happened to her?" and she raised green eyes so full of life and grief that it broke Tifa's heart.

"I… lost her. Shinra came after me. We got separated. I thought – I thought they'd all followed me. But I couldn't find her afterward. I searched everywhere. Everywhere," the word held despair. "Finally I came back to Shinra, trading my freedom for a chance to see if they had her. But they didn't. I never found her. I… never…"

Aerith was sitting very still in her chair, as still as if she was glass and would break at any moment. Tifa silently got out of her own seat and slipped over to settle on the arm of her friend's chair, wrapping an arm around Aerith's pale shoulders. Aerith shook her head.

"She used to – when I was little – my mother used to tell me stories about my father. She said – she said he was the bravest man she'd ever known." Aerith raised her eyes to the man across from them. "She said – he used to lose his glasses because he'd push them up on his head and forget that he'd done it."

Gast smiled weakly, eyes brimming.

"I don't do that anymore. My eyes need them all the time now."

"All right," Zack's voice cut through the emotion and he headed for the closed door. "You've got a bedroom in here, professor? Like where you keep your clothes and stuff?" He jerked the door open and strode in.

"Zack?" Tifa half stood up from where she was.

"Where's your travel bag, Professor?" Zack's voice came from the bedroom and so did the sound of drawers being opened.

"What are you doing?" Aerith was on her feet suddenly, preparing to be defensive and Zack's voice amid the sounds of ruin came back.

"He's coming with us, right? And we don't have a lot of time before Shinra and the Turks get here, right? So – Professor, where's your travel bag or do I just dump all this in a sheet and knot it together?"

Gast stood up, dropping his tea, and for a moment it looked as if he were going to either burst into laughter or tears.

"I can't," he managed and Zack came striding out of the bedroom with a gathered sheet full of stuff tossed over one broad shoulder. Cloud started to head for the professor, who looked panicked and darted behind his chair.

"No. You don't understand. I really can't." His voice was still refined despite the desperation. "Shinra implanted an explosive in me." That stopped everyone and he exhaled as he added: "It triggers if I move more than a mile away from my cave. You see," his smile was bitter as he pushed his glasses up onto his nose. "I refused to help them after what we'd done. But I was too important to let wander around either. I'm in 'storage'. In case I should ever become useful again."

"But this is terrible," Aerith protested. "Can't we do something?"

The thin man smiled suddenly and it was warm and real. He looked at Aerith.

"Yes. Yes, you can. You can go while you still have time and you can live a wonderful life and – and maybe sometimes you can remember me."

Tifa made an annoyed sound in her throat and reached into her pocket.

"Or we can just give you a PHS and you can call Aerith whenever it's safe to talk." She handed over her cell phone and the man took it in surprise. Tifa chuckled.

"You brainy types are so busy with your complex solutions sometimes." She looked over at Cloud and saw laughter in the edges of his blue eyes. She couldn't help but reach out and lay a hand on his arm since he'd moved closer when he'd started for Gast.

"How long do we have?" she asked softly as he looked over at her. His head lifted to look back out the ruined door.

"Not long."

"Monosyllables," she teased him, a private joke no one else in the room got and for a minute, as his eyes flicked down to hers, they were the only two there. Then he raised his head and she felt his hand slip around to rest against her back.

"Is there another way out of here?" he asked Gast voice suddenly slipping into that 'calm, tight' tone that meant trouble and the man nodded.

"The tunnel," he pointed to the way Cloud had been blocking before. "But keep going down when it starts to go up." He smiled a bit bitterly. "It's not as if I have to let them know all my secrets."

"What do we need to know most about Jenova?" Tifa asked quickly and Gast shook his head. Frowned and focused.

"Her body regenerates. The creature calls it 'reunion'. The parts of itself will always try to find their way back to the original. Even the parts of itself that are implanted in other living creatures."

"Time to go!" Zack announced from where he was standing near the tunnel and even Tifa could hear the noise from the entrance now. Aerith threw her arms around her lost and found and now lost again father. Tifa caught her arm and pulled her away and then they were dropping down into the tunnel in the earth floor, into the darkness of it, Cloud first and Zack last. And just before the trap door over the tunnel shut, she heard the dark haired ex-SOLDIER state:

"Sorry I trashed your room, Professor."

Tifa coughed her laugh and reached out with her hand blindly in front of her. Cloud's hand closed over hers and it made her smile in the dark. His fingers tightened in a brief squeeze and then she felt Aerith's hand searching against her back and she reached back to thread her fingers through her friend's as well. Cloud started off into the darkness and Tifa followed blindly. Still trusting but she hadn't missed -

Gast had looked at Cloud when he'd mentioned Jenova's implanted cells.


	57. Chapter 57: Climbing

_more answers, more questions. Here we go! oceanee - thanks for the correction. I got it fixed ;) and yeah, gotta love practical Tifa. As for Cissnei... I think she's actually got more people worried than Leon! don't worry, she'll be showing up again at yet another really inopportune time. Fairheart - I'm trying! lol The chapters just seem to be breaking naturally themselves. Given my _For Their Own Good_ collection, I have no idea why these are shorter. At least they write faster for me - do I get points for that? Biskitty - I'm so glad you're along for this ride, your reviews always make me so happy. Cissnei was a Turk that helped out Zack a lot in Crisis Core and she just insisted on inserting herself in this fic too. Though I've got to admit, its a hard toss up on whether her or Cloud is going to be less informative on their mutual history. Unless monosyllables count on Cloud's part. Glad you think I handled the filler chapters well. Its hard to try to make info you're just repeating sound interesting. In the game, I always just had Cloud go to bed instead - lol. The tricky part will be trying not to leave anything out that we all know anyway but that someone reading the story from scratch would really need to know. Poor Leon... besides, can you imagine what Cloud would do if his little sister started to date the guy?! Calenlass - I aim to please :D Glad you liked. I'll try to keep it up. Dis - yep. Evil minds make for hours of endless entertainment. I'm sure Shinra's got a 'off' or 'delay' button on those explosives they implanted in Gast - just in case they ever have to haul him in. Maybe the mako gang can go back after they get done saving the world and dig up the sensors on the perimeter that would trigger it too. In the meantime, dad's just gonna have to sit tight. Maybe we'll give Cloud a different mad scientist to rip apart. Somehow I don't think he's going to be too informative about his last meeting with Hojo. Can't imagine why not... zi-ling! - I was starting to worry about you! Glad you liked the father/daughter bit. I had to rush it, poor Aerith but I'm glad it came off well. And yeah... Cissnei seems to be drawing a lot of attention. LOL - I must be doing something right! oh - and Cloud actually does another of his 'more than two sentences together' in this chapter. Yeah, he's such a chatterbox. demonegg! - welcome back from your aerial hijinks. A rhombus?! I love that! Yeah, it seems we've developed a weird tangle with the love... rhombus that's going on. Yessss... worry for Tifa's heart. I plot evil - eVILE! - in Chapter 61... And of course to Peeka-chan who, despite overwhelming Real Life trying to stop her, has yet again corrected my its and it's and told me what a dork Tifa is being in her obliviousness. Your 'Mr. Emo snuggling' comment made my day.  
_

Chapter 57: Climbing

"I hate tight places, man," Zack complained in a hiss at the back of their line. They'd been traveling in the darkness for Tifa wasn't sure how long. They'd passed the ladder leading upward a little while back. Even Tifa had been able to see it because of the dim light that filtered down but Cloud had moved to the side of that and then behind it and taken them deeper and lower into the darkness. Tifa was only guessing – but this seemed a lot farther than a mile to her.

"Why?" Aerith asked in the darkness and it was the first time she'd spoken since they'd left her surprise father. Her voice sounded small and Tifa gave her fingers, still threaded through hers, a gentle squeeze in the inky black.

"Uh," Zack seemed as surprised by the question as Tifa had been but he only hesitated momentarily. "Because I got buried once. A cave in or something. I just remember it was heavy and I couldn't breath or see anything. Why? What are you afraid of?"

It seemed like the wrong discussion to be having in the dark, swallowed whole by the earth, but Tifa realized that Zack was intentionally distracting Aerith from thinking about having to leave her father behind.

"The sky," Aerith answered quickly. "I – it seems so big and scary."

"Seems like a rough thing for an itinerant wandering Ancient to be scared of," Zack commented brightly and there was the sound of flailing fist in the darkness and his cheerful:

"Hey!"

Tifa felt Cloud's fingers tighten on hers just a little and found she was smiling too. Leave it to Zack…

Then Aerith's voice came softer.

"I'm sorry. We didn't get a chance to ask about the SOLDIER treatment or what the mako does to someone's memories."

Surprisingly, it was Cloud's voice ahead of them that answered, soft and low.

"Materia is concentrated Lifestream, solid mako. It's a memory – of fire or ice or lightening. When you use it, a part of you forgets who you are and remembers what it feels like to be fire or ice or lightening. Mako injections are like having materia set off in your veins but instead of one simple memory at a time while part of you still remembers who you are – it's a thousand complex, multi-layered memories. And they're constantly new memories. It's like having millions of insects under your skin, crawling and biting and setting you on fire and the whole time you're remembering being someone else, a thousand someone elses, all at the same time. That's why they only take the strongest minds in the program and they keep the doses small and carefully spaced out over time. Only the strongest minds don't break."

"Is… that what they did to you? In the SOLDIER program?" Aerith asked and it was quiet for a long moment before Cloud softly confessed:

"If – if the memory is mine… I was rejected for being too weak for the SOLDIER program…"

Something about the way he said it made Tifa's heart break in her chest.

"You still ended up mako doused," Zack pointed out from the back. "And you're not nuts. Much."

Tifa felt Cloud's hand in hers relax. Just a little. He made a sound that was either agreement or an almost silent laugh ahead of her.

"How do you – ,"Aerith paused. Wanting to ask but not sure if she should. Ahead of them, Cloud made a humming noise.

"How do you figure out which memories are yours after that?"

Cloud was silent another long moment before he answered and Tifa realized… he was giving Aerith her answers because he thought she deserved to hear them. Even if it was causing him personal pain to do so.

"If you're strong enough… you remember who you are. If you're not – if you're not, you don't. You end up thinking all those other memories are yours."

Cloud's fingers had tightened almost painfully on Tifa's as he admitted the last and she felt as if they were standing on the very edge of something between them. Something terrifying that she instinctively wanted to avoid and yet couldn't leave alone. Before she could ask though, Zack's voice, slow and thoughtful, came drifting up to them.

"Do you think – do you think that's what happened to me? I've got someone else's memories inside my head?"

"I remember knowing Zack after he already made SOLDIER First Class," Cloud answered. "That's after the mako treatments. And you sound like your memories flow in a stream. Mako poisoning – it fragments – everything... Mm. I wasn't sure if my memories of Zack were mine or right or even really about Zack until Aerith remembered the same things."

"So the guy with the messed up memories and the girl that can talk to the planet think I'm the crazy one?" Zack asked brightly and there was the sound of more flailing in the dark and a solid sounding blow landing on leather. Zack started laughing and even Cloud coughed a chuckle. But his hand stayed tightly around Tifa's and even though it was making her fingers start to tingle and her bones ache, she didn't protest or try to loosen his grip.

He'd thought he was remembering someone else's memories about Zack, thinking they were his…

Did he think…?

"Light," Cloud said the word, back to monosyllables now that he'd assured Zack he was 'normal'. Tifa squinted ahead but couldn't see anything but darkness at first. In time though, she started to make out Cloud's back in front of her and then the glint of his hair. His eyes, when he flicked them back over his shoulder to check on everyone, were reflective blue and aqua.

"Might be trouble waiting for us," Zack commented and Cloud made a noise of agreement in his throat. With that, Zack managed to squeeze past Tifa and Aerith and join Cloud at the head of the group. Cloud let go of Tifa's hand and she was very careful not to shake it to get the feeling back or indicate that it was starting to throb now that he'd let go.

With some unspoken agreement, Zack went though the old wooden trap door at the top of the tunnel first, bursting out into the light, sword swinging clear. He let out a yell almost immediately but the words were:

"Damn _monsters_! It's like they're just randomly materializing or something."

It wasn't the first time he'd complained about the inconvenience of wandering monsters and it made Tifa smile as Cloud went through the door to join him in battle. Tifa paused in the 'doorway' and shaded her eyes with a hand in the sudden light to see Zack and Cloud ripping their way through several giant looking bugs. While they were distracted, she held out her throbbing hand to Aerith.

"Can you fix it without using materia?" she asked quickly and Aerith looked at her hand and frowned. Tifa knew her hand didn't look bad but it was red and felt a little swollen. It wouldn't be any good to her that way if she needed to hit something but more than that, she never wanted Cloud to know that he'd hurt her while he was wrestling with something going on inside himself.

"What did you do?" Aerith asked, taking it in her hand. "Hit a wall or something?"

"Sure," Tifa agreed calmly as she felt the familiar warmth of Aerith's touch seeping into the bones of her hand. She gave her friend a smile. "I'm surprised you didn't hurt your hands hitting Zack like that. He's built like a brick wall."

To her surprise her friend's cheeks went pink.

"He's not so bad," Aerith admitted and Tifa grinned while the sounds of the boys cutting bugs to ribbons covered their conversation.

"You're just saying that because he tried to kidnap your dad."

"Thanks for thinking of the phone," Aerith told her and Tifa shook out her hand now that Aerith was done with it and flexed her fingers.

"You over dramatic types – 'live well and think of me,'" Tifa put the proper intonation into it, raising the back of her hand to her forehead. Aerith started to giggle and gave her a gentle push. The guys finished up their battle and came back over, both of them smiling, Cloud's just barely there and Zack with a huge grin.

"**Now** I feel better," Zack announced and then put his fists on his waist to look around. "Man! It looks like we came right out the other side of the mountain."

Cloud nodded, a barely there movement and lifted his face to the horizon.

"We'll hit the coast, and probably a fishing village, if we head that way." He reached into his pocket and handed Tifa his phone. With what looked suspiciously like a smirk at the edge of his mouth. She snatched it away from him.

"I told you one of us would lose our phone," she informed him primly, trying not to smile and flipped open his phone to put in Barrett's number.

Barrett picked up the phone on the third ring.

"Where you at, baby girl?" he asked without preamble and Tifa turned to look at the mountain behind her.

"Somewhere on the other side of the mountains from Wutai. Where _you_ at?"

"Comin' ta get you," his voice was gruff. "Leon's got a lead on some weird sh- stuff goin' on back on the other continent. So we're pickin' you up and headin' over."

"All right," Tifa let the words draw out. Looking around. "I'm not sure where the nearest road is though."

"Don't you worry 'bout that. Just get to a cleared off space. We'll be over inna minute to get you."

She gave her companions a puzzled look and shrugged. Gestured to a nearby clearing where the shrubbery was emptier.

"We're going to one now," she told Barrett and then hung up. She gave her companions a shrug.

"He says he's coming to pick us up and we need to go stand in a clearing."

"Cause that makes all kinds of sense," Zack agreed cheerfully and bounded off toward the clearing Tifa had indicated. Cloud shrugged a shoulder and started off after him at a more calm pace. Aerith snickered.

"He's like a puppy, isn't he?"

"Makes me want to buy a leash for him all the time," Tifa agreed with a grin as they trotted over to catch up with Cloud.

Tifa was just in the process of digging through the pack on Aerith's back for something to snack on when Cloud raised his head. Several seconds later, Zack did the same and since they were both looking at the sky, Tifa raised her face as well.

"Made you look," Zack chimed and Tifa leaned over to bump her shoulder against his. But she squinted in the growing gloom… thinking she saw –

"Is that - ?" Aerith asked after a moment more. Tifa blinked in surprise.

"Barrett's got an _airship_?"

"**So** awesome!" Zack announced.

Soon the ship was hovering over them and a rope ladder was dropped down. Shera leaned over the side of the ship – boat – aircraft and called down:

"Cid says to get your butts in gear; his tea's getting cold."

"Ten gil says Cid said it much more colorfully," Tifa offered as Aerith started up the ladder and Tifa caught the first rung after her. No one took her up on the bet though and Tifa got to enjoy the not entirely pleasant sensation of climbing up a swaying ladder made of rope where each rung up made the potential drop from it that much more painful.

Shera greeted her at the top of the rope and helped haul her up.

"Did you find out whatever you were trying to find out?" she asked and Tifa gave a nod and then a shrug.

"Kind of."

"Come on," Shera gestured and headed down the deck of the ship as Zack hauled up the ladder after Cloud got off of it. "Everyone's in the pilot's nest. Barrett won't let Denzel and Marlene out on the deck when the ship's in the air and I think they're fomenting a rebellion."

Sure enough her siblings were waiting for her with the rest of the team when they reached the pilot's nest and Tifa went down on her knees after she cleared the door to collect her brother and sister as they rushed to hug her. The multiple chattering started almost immediately afterward and their eyes were huge and shining in their faces as they both tried to explain everything they'd seen and done and wanted to do on the ship at the same time and in what sounded like the same breath. Red came trotting over and sat down near them, just close enough for Tifa to reach out and pull him into their hug as well. Which was probably why he'd sat as close as he had. Tifa listened with delight as Cid barked orders. Leon came over to stand behind the kids and look down at her with one of his shy, pleased smiles.

"You sounded like you needed a lift."

She gave him a smile as well, arms around her siblings and Red.

"You certainly know how to do things in style. Where'd you get a ship?"

"Cid's," he gestured to the smoking, scowling man at the wheel who hadn't looked this happy in – well, as long as Tifa had seen him. "We – ah… liberated it. You won't believe how easy it makes things."

"No more walking?" Tifa guessed and a part of her was sorry to see that go. Another part of her thought it would be nice to get somewhere faster than a week or two's worth of travel though. Then she raised her eyebrows at him. "Liberated it, huh?"

He thought about the word choice for a moment in all seriousness and then nodded.

"Yep."

It made her laugh and she asked:

"So where are we going?"

"Nibelheim." Leon's eyes darkened. "We got news that there are some abnormal monsters coming out of the area and that reactor's been on my hit list for a long time."

Tifa nodded with a soft sound and stood up. Ready to go again. She had her family back – but she still had a promise to Shinra to fulfill. Red shifted to stand at Denzel's side.

"I've been to Nibelheim," Cloud's voice, low and quiet, came from behind them both. "I'll help."

Leon turned to look at the other man and his smile was a half smile and both resigned and real.

"I thought so. We'll need your codes again."

Cloud gave one of his barely there nods and Marlene tugged on Tifa's hand now that the 'adult business' was over.

"You've got to see the inside of the _Highwind_, Tifa. It's really neat."

Laughing, Tifa shot a look at Leon but apparently the 'adult stuff' really was done because he just smiled quietly and nodded. With that she let Marlene and Denzel drag her off. Aerith came with them as well because Tifa grabbed her arm on the way by and Red simply followed them calmly out the door.


	58. Chapter 58: Lost and Found

Chapter 58: Lost and Found

The _Highwind_ was much roomier than any ship Tifa had been on before. By the end of the day, between her, her siblings, Red and Aerith, they'd figured out the galley, the engine room, the 'crew' quarters, something that could pass for an infirmary, something else that could pass for a muster room and several rooms of storage. She'd also discovered that Yuffie was on board as well which had made itself known when they found the bathrooms. Yuffie apparently got airsick. Which meant, at some point shortly after their arrival, Cloud gave Yuffie enough medication to let her go to sleep and then carried her off to tuck her into one of the lower beds in a cabin. Tifa took over cooking since apparently instant noodles were the meal of the day with this group too. That – and tea. Scrounging, Tifa managed to find 'real' food she could make and coffee, the latter being reserved for the emergency of having to wake everyone up in the morning. After dinner, she took her sister and brother out onto the deck of the ship. It was on the condition that they not to go out there without an adult – and for the moment, they didn't look like they were going to mutiny over it.

All three of the Lockhart siblings ended up leaning over the railing looking straight down trying to unnerve themselves before two minutes on deck had passed.

Then they all moved to the center of the deck to sit down and tried to guess where they were. Finally they went back into the ship 'to find a map' and were very careful not to make it obvious they were avoiding getting too close to the rails as they did so.

It was no easy thing to get her brother and sister tucked into bed and to sleep that night but the excitement of the day finally did catch up with them. Tifa waited until they were deeply asleep before crawling back out of the bed she'd snuggled down with them in. Aerith slept on the bed above them and Yuffie was still unconscious on the lower bunk of the bed across the small room from them. Red had disappeared but Tifa wasn't worried that he'd fallen over. He gave the edge of the ship an even wider area of safety than Barrett did. Tifa assumed that Shera would take the top bunk whenever she showed up but she hadn't seen the woman lately. Which was just as well. Shera was giving off the 'want to have a girl to girl talk' vibes and Tifa was pretty sure she knew what the talk was going to be about. She wanted to avoid that as long as possible because she really didn't know what she'd say to the other woman. She did know someone she wanted – needed – to talk to though and so she let herself out of the room and stood there for a long moment trying to figure out where he'd be.

Tifa ended up searching through the storage rooms they'd found earlier. Most of them were only partially full. It was colder onboard the ship now that the sun had gone down and there was no heating in the unnecessary rooms. She wrapped her arms around herself and peered into the darkness of each room, frowning to herself. He might have gone to sleep in the bunkroom the men had taken over. Or be in the pilot's nest or on deck or even the galley but…

Going on her gut feeling, Tifa thought he'd want to be alone after all he'd revealed today - which meant burying himself where he didn't think anyone would think to look.

She found Cloud stretched out in a makeshift hammock in the third and smallest of the storage rooms. He had one arm tucked under his head and he didn't look over when she came in and shut the door behind her, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dim hallway light from the cracks under the door before she moved over to where he was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey," she greeted him as she came to stand next to the slung blanket he'd jury-rigged and he made a soft noise of greeting in response. His reflective blue eyes stayed fixed sightlessly on the ceiling above.

"Share," she told him and he finally turned his head to look at her, eyes puzzled. Determined, she sat down on the center of the hammock next to him, careful not to make them tip, and then slung her legs up onto it and laid back. With a low, laughing sound in his throat, he opened the arm nearest her so she could scoot closer and tuck in against his side. Which was much warmer and she snuggled in against him with an exhale, shutting her eyes for a long moment. Finally starting to relax and unwind deep inside herself the way she hadn't all day long. She could have stayed that way all night and thought of it as time very well spent but –

She shifted a little, careful to stay in the shelter of his arm but turning her head so that she could see him. He'd gone back to looking at the ceiling and she finally realized that he was avoiding her eyes because he knew what she was planning. So instead she snuggled in against him and rested her cheek on his chest.

"I think Aerith is going to be all right," she murmured softly, shutting her eyes, hands curled against his chest as well and tucked into the folds of his shirt to stay warm. He made a low, listening noise in his throat and his other arm came up to wrap his hand over her arm almost unconsciously as he shifted a little onto his side to face her more. It made her smile against him and she nodded softly.

"With Zack."

"He's hard not to like," Cloud admitted low, relaxing against her and she nodded against him again. Frowned.

"Why can't he remember either of you?" It was more of a rhetorical question and she was surprised when Cloud softly answered in a young voice that almost wasn't there:

"Because I don't think he's the Zack we remember."

"How?" she began but he shook his head, chin rubbing against the top of her hair as he unconsciously slid his hand along her arm to keep her warm.

"I don't know. But… he doesn't do boot dusters anymore."

"What?"

He made a low, frustrated noise but it was at himself, not her.

"He used to – do these exercises. Like squats. Whenever he was bored. Or frustrated. Whenever he was trying to blow off energy. It was – the weirdest quirk. He doesn't do them now. Not once." His fingers moved unconsciously through her hair, winding in its length as he continued to speak. "And he hasn't saluted with his sword. He used to bring it to his forehead sometimes. As if he was getting strength or confidence or wisdom from it. Except he doesn't anymore. It's not his old Buster Sword… but he hasn't asked about that either. I keep it in my room Wutai. It used to be Zack's. I showed it to him, pretending it was just an old sword of mine and – nothing. Aerith is right, too… he used to have a scar on his jaw. And… he wasn't bothered by tight places before. When I concentrate – I can remember. There are things that are missing from him now."

"You trust your memories?" she asked softly and he went very still against her. Realizing what he'd talked himself into.

"I – " he hesitated, finally finishing with, "…don't know."

Still held in his arms, she lifted her face to his and reached up with a hand to touch his chin. Tipped his face down to her. His eyes were cerulean blue and achingly empty inside. She searched them with her own eyes.

"You're not just worried that your memories of Zack might not be real. You're worried about other memories too, aren't you?"

He didn't answer – but his eyes did and so did the way his shoulders hunched inward toward her. Tifa had learned that Cloud had a very expressive body for all that he didn't strike the 'noble' poses that Zack did or move 'loudly'. Light she stroked a finger against the side of his chin before letting it slip down just a little.

"You're worried about your memories from childhood? About me?" It was only a guess and she was going to sound horribly conceited if she was wrong but he nodded – barely there and reluctantly after a long moment.

"I remember the same things," she began but he shook his head suddenly and his hands, his fingers on her, tightened. In the dark, his eyes found hers.

"What if it wasn't me?" his voice came out rasping and quiet and there was a torn, throaty edge to it. "Tifa… what if I'm not the boy you remember? What if it was someone else? Someone that died somewhere between now and then? Someone who's memories I stole…?" His hand rose and his fingertips touched her face. He wasn't wearing his gloves and the skin was rough with calluses and warm. His voice was as soft and gentle as his touch as he said: "What if it's not really me you remember?"

Tifa forced herself not to answer right away. Forced herself to really think about what he was saying. On one hand, she didn't care if he was that little boy with the ball or not. She loved Cloud as he was now and if she'd never known him before, she still would have felt the way about him that she did.

But on the other hand… she understood what he was saying. It was that memory of a helping hand and a little boy being a hero so long ago that fed the comfort they felt with each other. Even more, his memories of those times were stronger than hers. They'd shaped him and he relied on them still. She'd seen that much from his time during the mako fever. He said he'd joined SOLDIER to reclaim the 'hero' she'd once called him. He'd remembered her tears, shared without knowledge, and it had given him a place in her heart long before she'd even realized he wanted one. He could touch her, speak to her, the way he couldn't to anyone else because there was the child in him that knew her already and knew it was safe. Things a man didn't need to be whole – but that a broken one found meaning and healing and safety in.

It made too much of her. Instinctively she shied away from thinking about herself that way, of thinking of herself as that central or important. But… she thought she knew him… At least a little…

So she lifted her eyes to his and told him the only truth she knew.

"I think you are that boy. I think no one has eyes like yours. I think that I knew it was you when you fell asleep next to me at the convention in the sunshine so long ago." Gentle she stroked her fingers through his golden hair. "But I also think that even if you weren't, I would still want to be with you just the way I am now. Because I remember that boy with his impossible blue eyes and the same shy smile you have – but I also know the man you are now. My Cloud," she cupped his cheek with her hand and saw the way she filled his entire world in his eyes at that moment. "You're my Cloud. And I'm proud of you and pleased by you and content with you the way you are right now." Her smile was soft in the darkness. "But those memories are really yours, Chocobo Head. No one else in the world could possibly have insanely wild hair like yours."

A noise escaped him, quiet and pained and laughing all at the same time, and he shifted on the hammock so that she was pinned half under him as he pulled her tightly against him. She felt her whole body relax at the weight and familiar covering feel of him and the smile slipped across her lips as she reached up and wound her arms around his neck and shoulders in response. Holding him just as tightly as he was holding her.

"You had a blue dress," his voice was raw against her shoulder and throat where he'd buried his face. "You would charm shop keepers into giving you candy and then you'd give it to all the other children who would wait outside the door. They used to come to you when they skinned their knees or scraped their hands so you would kiss the top of their heads even though you were the same age or younger than they were."

It made her lips twitch.

"My mother always used to do that for me when I got hurt and it always worked."

His throaty sound, laughter and pain and on instinct she turned her face, already buried in his soft hair and pressed a kiss to him, catching the tip of his ear. His arms around her tightened a little more and his fingers pressed into her skin where they were spread. She realized that somehow her shirt must have shifted because one of his hands was spread against the bare skin of her back. It made her shiver despite trying not to and in response his fingers spread to hold more of her closer.

"You used to wear your hair pinned back behind your ears," his voice was softer and she felt his breath against her throat. "Always matching barrettes. I used to think that was why you heard so much better than the other children."

Her stomach was doing those funny little flips inside her and she tried to concentrate on what he was saying instead.

If it had been anyone other than Cloud… what a compromising position she would be in…

"I don't wear my hair back now."

"Yes, you do. You tuck it behind your ears all the time. You just have wisps that fall forward against your face." His satisfied exhale and he lifted his head a bit so that his chin was against her cheekbone, fitting her more completely against him as he settled in. "It shows off your earrings and hides your throat."

"They're nice earrings," she protested softly, not really paying attention to what she was saying. Drowning in the feel of him – just for a minute, she promised herself. Let me live in only his warmth and rumbling soft voice just for another minute... "Aerith gave them to me."

"I knew they were a gift you'd gotten at the convention. You touch them whenever you're sad. I'm glad it was Aerith."

She hadn't realized she touched them and it was a little disconcerting to realize he'd not only noticed but also knew what triggered the touches.

"Who else would it be but Aerith?" she asked and he just grunted and shook his head against her, arms somehow finding a way to hold her even more completely against him.

She should protest. She knew it. If anyone walked in on them right now they'd jump to entirely the wrong conclusions. For that matter, if anyone found them both missing for too long at the same time, they'd probably jump to the wrong conclusions. And she should also go back to her siblings now that she'd made sure Cloud was all right inside. She'd taken care of things and it was time to go back and get some sleep. Tomorrow would come too soon already.

Even more – she shouldn't let herself get used to enjoying the way she felt right now…

Even if it was comfortable and warm and right all the way to her soul and safe and completing and perfect and -

And somewhere in those thoughts, feeling his deep, steady breathing against her, surrounded by his warmth and that wonderful storm smell of his – Tifa fell asleep.


	59. Chapter 59: What If

Chapter 59: What If

Tifa woke up with a start, realizing before she remembered why that she shouldn't be where she was. And then Denzel made a softly protesting noise at her movement and Tifa blinked, clearing her eyes. And found herself in her own bunk with Marlene and Denzel piled in around her. She blinked again in confusion. Had she dreamed…?

No. She didn't have dreams that made that much sense. And, more intimately, she could still smell Cloud, just barely there, on her clothes. It made her smile and it made her blush at the same time.

He was apparently still guarding her reputation…

Which was just as well. If she'd found any woman other than herself in the position she'd been in last night with Cloud Strife she never would have believed it was anything but suggestive. If it had been any woman but her…

Had he ever slept that way with Cissnei?

She felt the bolt of pain and recognized it for what it was. Cissnei… his Turk guardian angel. Tifa would have liked to think badly of her, but she couldn't in honesty. The woman was torn between her heart and her job and she seemed to somehow be managing to walk a thin line between the two. She'd been honest with them and she had helped Cloud despite her orders. Tifa thought – Tifa thought the other woman had a good heart and there was little else in the world she thought was more important. So, even though she should dislike the other woman, she couldn't. Especially if Cloud loved her…

Tifa rolled over a little, careful not to dislodge Denzel and stared at the empty bunk on the other side of the room from her. Not really seeing it or Yuffie huddled up in a small sleeping ball under the covers in the bed under it.

Cloud loved her…

She knew what Aerith would say. Aerith would say she should tell Cloud how she really felt and fight for him. Except Tifa didn't quite get the concept of 'fighting for him'. If it had been a bad relationship – or if Cloud had indicated he wasn't really in love with the other woman – or if Cissnei had been a bad, or even unworthy, person – yes. But – Cissnei had so far showed herself to be faithful and good-hearted and Cloud – if she was what his heart wanted why would Tifa try to make him chose something – someone – her – who would never satisfy what he really longed for? It would be like telling Leon to fight for her. Even if he did win – neither one of them would really be happy with the end. And… Tifa wanted Cloud to be happy. Really heart-deep happy. The kind of happy he made her right in the center of her chest when she forgot he wasn't in love with her and he would do something that would make her bones go weak. She wanted him to be happy that way because she loved him. And, even more than that, because… he deserved to be happy like that. After all he'd been through – and stayed sane and good through – he deserved to be with someone that made him completely happy.

And if Tifa only felt 'completely happy' when she was with Cloud – she wanted that for him too. Even if it was with someone else and even if Tifa's 'completely happy' was never really complete because of it.

More than anything she wanted Cloud Strife to be 'completely happy'.

And, until then, she could steal little bits and pieces of her own happy with him like she had last night. She touched her lips with her fingers. She'd even imagined a barely there kiss in her sleep last night. Not a stolen one, but a secret one, one he'd given to her because… she smiled weakly against her fingertips and felt her heart hurt. Because… in her dreams… Cloud Strife was in love with her, not someone else…

One day all she'd have left were those dreams and her bits and pieces. One day Cissnei would figure out how to solve her dilemma or Cloud would and they'd get their 'completely happy'. Tifa just hoped it was somewhere far away from wherever she was living by then. That things had been settled and fixed and Cloud wouldn't need her by his side anymore. She could want him to be happy with someone else.

She just didn't want to have to see it.

And somehow, instead of making her more susceptible to wanting to try to make things work with Leon, it just made her all the more determined to keep her life the way it was now. With her family and friends the center of her world and content to be alone. Better to be the way she was now, than to be with someone else and always wishing they were Cloud.

It wasn't a depressing thought. It was more a reassuring and calming one. She really was going to be all right in the end. Her life really would work out and she wouldn't really be alone. She had too many people that loved her.

Inhaling, emotions settled in her head, she carefully unwound herself from her sister and brother, not wanting to wake them yet. Aerith was still asleep above her and she thought her friend probably needed the rest after the shocks she'd had last night. Careful not to make noise in the dark, Tifa changed and after a quick stop in the bathroom to get herself ready for the day, silently wandered down to the galley to start making coffee. It was early yet but Tifa felt rested and ready for whatever was coming next.

She was surprised to find Shera already awake and sitting at one of the tables with a mug of cooling tea in her hands and Red near her feet. Tifa gave the tea an eyebrow quirk on the way past and then started moving around in the kitchen area. The slow smell of the coffee drip seemed to wake Shera out of wherever her mind had been and she got up and walked over with a smile to dump what was left of her tea in the sink. Red had already given Tifa his slow blink of greeting but he otherwise stayed where he was.

"Are you making breakfast?" the smaller woman asked and Tifa nodded. Shera nodded in response and then slowly asked:

"Making… pancakes?"

The hopeful tone had Tifa laughing and she started sorting through the cabinets.

"Why not? If I can find the right ingredients."

"Tell me what you need," Shera grinned. "I'll help you find it."

In short order, Tifa was whipping up the batter and Shera was pulling out the largest frying pan she could find.

"I can cook," Shera admitted. "But I like it when you cook more."

Tifa laughed again and tilted her head.

"I like cooking," she answered. "It makes me feel creative because I've got absolutely no skill whatsoever with colored pencils or paint."

Shera set the frying pan on a burner and without looking over suddenly asked softly:

"How do you do it? Make men fall in love with you?"

"I – what?" Tifa almost dropped the bowl she was holding and Shera shrugged, fiddling with the dials on the stovetop.

"Well, Leon's in love with you and so is Cloud and I think Zack and maybe Barrett too. So… you must have some kind of secret and I thought… maybe you'd share?" the other woman looked over at Tifa with the last and her face was so heartbroken and so hopeless that Tifa forgot about disagreeing and instead, barely managed to set down the bowl before she pulled the smaller woman into her arms. Shera's own arms came around her tightly and the little woman started to quietly cry.

"He doesn't love me… I thought – I thought I could be okay with that… but – he doesn't love me and I – and it hurts. It hurts so much. I know I'm not his dream but – "

"Shhhh" Tifa held the other woman the way she would have held Marlene, letting her cry while she stroked her hair and thought evil things about the man flying the ship they were in. Evil things she hoped only came to pass after he'd landed.

"I want him to love me…" Shera's voice came out soft and hopeless as the quick storm of tears started to pass. "I do. And I know it's stupid. But I do."

Tifa felt her own heart break just a little and she held Shera a little tighter against her.

"I know," she whispered. "I do."

The galley door opened and Zack started to step in with a jaunty smile. His eyes widened when he saw what was going on though and even before Tifa had a chance to give him a glare, he was holding up his hands and then setting a finger to his lips. He met her eyes and she was surprised to see, instead of blind panic, the clueless offer of help. It made her smile but she shook her head and Zack slipped out as quietly as he'd come in, the door shutting silently behind him. Tifa suspected Zack was outside standing guard.

No. Zack didn't love her. But he was an amazing friend.

"Cid does care about you, Shera," she finally murmured as the other woman quieted against her and Shera shook her head. Tifa drew back enough to cup the other woman's chin and look down at her.

"Yes. He does. I saw his face when he thought you were dying. He looked like he was the one that had been gutted. He sat by you the entire time, even fell asleep that way. He hovered even worse than Leon."

"But – he's been even worse than usual since then," Shera protested and Tifa gave her a soft smile.

"Have you ever thought – it's guilt?"

The other woman apparently hadn't and it surprised her enough that Tifa could lead her over to the table and sit down with her across from it. Red stayed quiet and still so he didn't distract anyone. Tifa was only guessing – but she had been a bartender and observer of human nature for enough years that her guesses were pretty accurate most times. Not perfect, mind you, but she didn't think she was horribly misjudging things with Cid and Shera.

"He let you get hurt, Shera."

"No he di-"

"**He **thinks he let you get hurt. That he didn't protect you. It's the way people feel for teammates but its worse for him because he really does care about you and men want to protect women they care about. He was right next to you in that reactor and even though he couldn't do anything – he still feels like he should have. He's been feeling guilty about it – and you're not being angry at him the way he's been angry at you all this time for something he knows you feel guilty about. Which means he's been a bastard all this time, which he knew, but because you're not being just as horrible back to him now that he's done something terrible to you by letting you get hurt – he's having to deal with the fact that maybe he didn't have to be a bastard after all. And I don't think Cid likes dealing with that kind of thing."

Shera stared at her with an open mouth. With a little smile, Tifa reached over to touch the bottom of her chin and pop her mouth shut.

"You have the luckiest sister in the world," Shera stated with a blink and Tifa laughed, standing up to move back into the kitchen.

"Not in that area. I've taught Marlene to punch boys that show an interest in her," Tifa chuckled as she started pouring batter into the pan.

"Does it work?" Shera asked, working her way carefully out of the aftermath of her tears and Tifa shook her head. Red shifted to rest his chin on top of the woman's shoes, giving his silent support and it made her smile wetly.

"Only about half the time. It encourages them the other half. That's when I have Barrett threaten them."

It did drag a muffled laugh out of the smaller woman then and she took off her glasses to clean them on the hem of her shirt.

"So, do you think I should punch Cid?" Shera manage to joke and Tifa looked over at her calmly.

"Oh yeah."

Shera coughed a laugh and then looked at Tifa with larger eyes.

"You really mean that?"

"Oh. Yeah." Tifa stated as she efficiently flipped pancakes. Then she chuckled as she reached for a plate. "But I only point out what I see. I don't give relationship advice. Bar tenders aren't allowed to."

Shera drifted back into the kitchen and started setting out plates and silverware in stacks. Thoughtful. Red came as well and sat calmly near Tifa's feet. He was being supportive… and just happening to remind her he was there for breakfast and happened to like pancakes too. It made her smile and Tifa continued to make pancakes, crisping the edges of some of them for Barrett.

"I didn't mean – " Shera hesitated. "I didn't mean to be offensive. When I said all the guys loved you."

Tifa exhaled a laugh and flipped a pancake.

"You weren't. They don't. They just like me. Huge difference that doesn't always look as big as it really is."

"Leon really does love you," Shera moved to stand in front of Tifa on the other side of the stove. "I've never seen him the way around a woman he is around you. Not since…"

"I don't need her name," Tifa told her softly.

"Because you don't want to know or you don't need to?" Shera asked insightfully and Tifa gave her a long look.

"Weren't we dealing with you?" she asked and Shera sat back down at the table and wrapped her hands back around her coffee mug.

"Nope. You refused to give me advice. So now we're talking about you." She looked at Tifa through her glasses and Tifa suddenly wondered if that's the way the engines Shera had once worked on had ever felt. "It's Cloud, isn't it?"

"It's not Cloud," Tifa answered, pouring more batter. Even though it was Cloud. Just… not the way Shera thought.

"Sure it is," Shera replied, taking a sip of her drink and looking contemplative. "Because Leon's amazing and no girl that wasn't already involved with someone would turn him down." She ignored Tifa's headshake.

"You and Cloud are like sunshine and shadows. If you find one, the other's going to show up eventually. I thought he was going to kill Leon when he kissed you in Wutai."

Tifa had to concentrate to keep from making a face. Having known that the conversation was eventually going to get back to that. The… kiss.

"Cloud's very protective," she answered calmly and used up the last of the batter, scraping the bowl to get it all.

"That's… one word for it," Shera managed from her chair and Tifa knocked the batter off the spoon.

"Don't," she warned and Shera looked at her in surprise. Tifa slanted the other woman a look.

"I can almost see the gears in your head grinding," Tifa told her with a smile. "I'm not an engine that needs to be fixed or have tests run to see what it does. Everything's fine and I don't want you doing anything to change that."

Shera let out a laughing sigh.

"Am I really that obvious?" she asked and Tifa chuckled.

"Only to someone that's lived with my evil plotting siblings as long as I have. Now why don't you tell Zack it's okay to let everyone in before they mutiny and run him over because they smell pancakes?"

.

_just a little note - next week is Nibelheim. I had a little _too_ much fun there._


	60. Chapter 60: Love

_so, its apparently Tifa's birthday. I should dedicate Chapter 61 to her just because. I guess here is where things really start to roll downhill. 'Bout freakin' time! On to my best beloveds. Cal and oceanee - every Sunday night/early Monday. Always three chapters. Every single week. I make it as close to a promise as anyone can get on . Also, oceanee - there's more Shera, there's more Tifa cluelessness, there's less snuggling - er, maybe... you tell me ;) zi-ling - don't worry, Cloud's gone_ less_ than monosyllables by the end of this set of chapters. Angsty ahoy! And, too cool - China! Too awesome! bring us all back something :D fairheart - you might need oxygen for chapter 61. Just warning. ;) I'm so glad you're along for this ride. Cal - here we are - Nibelheim! Hope I live up to your expectations :) demonegg - you so hit the nail on the head with Cloud and his memories, how they effect him, how he needs them and how he's worried about them. In depth, best beloved! Really in depth and spot on. By the end of this set, you're going to have to tell me what shape the rhombus is now - lol. Jianre - yeah, we're going to have to find something other than Hojo to haul Vincent out whenever his gold clown shoes decide to show up. Not to mention the fact that Cid and Shera are so writing themselves more parts into this story than I'd originally intended - but it's fun, isn't it? That's what I get for letting characters run rampant, right? biskitty - yep, I messed with the materia/mako a bit and I'm glad it makes sense. Poor Cloud's messed up enough without going off the deep end every time he needs to cast Bolt 3, right? and - please don't hurt Tifa for her conclusions by the end of this - lol. Peeka's already threatened to hit her over the head with a frying pan. And of course, as always, thanks to Peek-chan for calling Cloud an idiot and finding missing apostrophes. _

Chapter 60: Love

"I just said 'girl stuff' and all of the sudden all the guys weren't in such a rush for pancakes anymore," Zack was explaining proudly as he sat across the table from Tifa in the galley. They were both nursing half empty cups of coffee as the cleanup went on in the kitchen behind them. Tifa was torn between enjoying not cleaning up after herself and having the distinct impression that she was really never going to get used to letting someone else do cleaning while she just sat there.

"Such a clever man," Tifa gave him his props and Zack shrugged with a grin.

"I was going to say 'crying girly stuff' but I didn't want everyone jumping off the ship in panic." Since they were a little distance from everyone else, Zack could mention the crying. And, sobering, just a little, he leaned forward on the table and asked:

"Is it Cid? Shera's got some kind of weird thing going on with Cid, doesn't she?"

"Weird thing?" Tifa asked to avoid the question and he gave her a look that said he knew what she was doing. But, being Zack, he let her get away with it.

"Sure, it's weird," he explained. "Whenever I flirt with her she just gives me a puzzled look."

It made Tifa smile. Bright, she suggested:

"Maybe you're losing your touch."

"Don't be ridiculous," he waved it away and then feigned sudden concern. "I'm not, am I?"

"Cloud," Tifa called over to the silent blond where he was pouring a cup of watered down juice back down the sink after Yuffie had turned green at the sight of it. "When Zack flirts with you, does it still give you that warm fuzzy feeling deep inside or is it starting to fall flat?"

Tifa could all but hear the silent collective gasp from the people that hadn't been traveling with the three of them for long. Not at the joke – but that someone would actually say something like that to the stoic blond warrior. Cloud dutifully poured the rest of the juice away and then handed the cup to Shera who was on 'dish duty'.

"Warm fuzzy," he answered calmly without a hint of humor on his face.

"See?" Zack spread his hands and then made a muscle with his arm as Cloud went back to dumping out the left over coffee cups everyone had used. "I've still got it."

"Well, I hope its not catching," Aerith commented from the table she was sitting at with the children, pouring over a map. They'd pulled out a chair for Red earlier and he was sitting between Denzel and Marlene, looking at the map as well. Cloud had already been summoned over several times to point out places to them and give his usual 'there are monsters here' 'there aren't a lot of people here' 'it's dry' descriptions. Zack leaned back in his chair.

"She wants me," he confided. Tifa shook her head with a laugh and stood up to collect his cup and hers and bring them over to the washing team of Cloud and Shera. Shera was still eyeing Cloud as if he'd sprouted a wing or horns at his actual participation in a joke but she took the glasses with a smile from Tifa. Tifa let her shoulder brush up against the side of Cloud's arm while she stood there as well, inwardly delighted that he'd answered.

Cloud had all the markings of a loner, but he'd been forced into close confines; first with Tifa's family and friends and then with Tifa and Zack. Now, surrounded by people, he was still a part of a whole and his teasing Zack had just proved it. He was concentrating on rinsing of the dishes Shera was handing him at the moment and didn't look at Tifa. But his shoulder moved and his arm rubbed up against hers in response to her touch.

Tifa had to resist the urge to kiss his cheek.

Instead she picked up the thermos Shera had filled with tea and gave it a shake.

"Going up to the bridge. It's my turn to ask 'are we there yet?'"

"Good luck with that," Zack was leaning back in his chair so it rested on its back two legs. Which incidentally let him see what Aerith, Red and the kids were doing at the next table. "Cid threatened to throw me overboard when I asked."

"You didn't have tea," Tifa smiled at him and then headed out the door. She wanted to get up on the bridge again and see the sky all the way around her and she also did want to ask if they were going straight to Nibelheim or not and how much longer they had. She didn't mind being up in the air – but it would be nice to know if she should start a thick novel or brush her teeth in the meantime. She was just coming around a corner when she almost ran into someone heading the other way. Jerking back in surprise, she found herself caught and steadied and she looked up at:

"Leon." She made a sound. "Sorry. I didn't mean to plow into you."

"You're small. You can anytime you like, Tifa," he told her with a smile and when Tifa tried to shift to go around him, his hands, still on her shoulders held her in place. The smile faded and his eyes softened.

"Still avoiding me?" he asked softly and Tifa inhaled to tell him she hadn't been. And stopped herself. Because she had.

"Maybe. A little," she admitted and he held her in place as he stepped closer. Tifa fought the strange reaction that wanted her to step back. It didn't make sense and it would hurt his feelings. She wasn't scared of him, or even angry at him. She just –

she didn't want him to kiss her again.

Leon lowered his head as he looked down at her.

"I'm not going to maul you." He sounded almost hurt and Tifa gave him a soft smile and touched his chest lightly.

"I know. I just – wasn't ready. For… before. You startled me."

"By _before_ you mean when I kissed you," he clarified what she'd been avoiding saying and she exhaled and nodded. His eyes met hers. "Are you ready now?"

"No!" it snapped out of her before she could think to cushion it and her hands flattened against his chest immediately. Because it was definitely in his eyes to do again as he looked down at her. His lips thinned into a flat line and his brows came down, moving the scar between them.

"Tifa," he paused and exhaled himself as he took another step forward so that they were almost in the same space. "I want you. I want you as my friend but I want more than that. I told you I wouldn't wait forever to start chasing you. I meant that. I won't hurt you, I won't force you, I won't do anything you're not happy with – but I'm done sitting on the sideline."

"Leon, I – " her hands were pressed between their chests and he shook his head, gently cutting her off.

"I want my chance, Tifa. Give me that at least. If I can't steal your heart away, I'll let you go. But I want my chance. You have to let me try." He gave her a small, gentle shake. "I thought I had lost you. You don't know what that did to me. If I lose you because it's your choice or -" his head moved slightly, "because of _him_, that's one thing. But if I lose you because I never even tried – " he shook his head. "I won't go through that again."

"Leon…" She should just tell him 'no'. Otherwise she was leading him on and that wasn't fair. Except, a small part of her wanted to give him the chance. Because – what if she was wrong? What if he really could find a way to win her heart and save her from a life of loving someone who didn't love her? What if he could find a way for her to be 'completely happy' at the same time Cloud and Cissnei were 'completely happy'?

And when had her heart ever changed its mind? Ever? Even once?

That was answer enough. Her mind might change – but her heart never did. She shook her head.

"No," she told him softly. Looking up at him and hurting for both of them. "There's nothing left to steal, Leon. I already gave it away."

"_Him,_" his voice was gruff and she nodded gently. Not even able to offer her usual 'I'm sorry'. Because she wasn't. Not about giving her heart away. Just that it hurt Leon in the process.

"Does he even know?" Leon's words were tight and Tifa gave him a soft, sad smile. And shook her head.

"Son of a bitch," Leon murmured, raising his head and shutting his eyes for a minute. Tifa stood where she was and looked up at him and felt –

lighter.

He was the first person she'd admitted where her heart was to. It hurt. She liked Leon and she was – she was more than flattered that he thought she was someone desirable. It hurt her to not be able to be what he wanted, what he needed. To not even be able to pretend.

But it also settled the decision she'd worked out this morning inside her and it fit so right, felt so right, as it snapped into place now that it actually made a weight lift off of her heart. She really was in love with Cloud. And she'd finally admitted it out loud.

Leon lowered his head and rested his forehead against hers.

"Lucky son of a bitch," he repeated quietly and Tifa gave a weak smile. Not about to insult Leon by mouthing platitudes about 'it's not you, it's me' or 'maybe in another life'. Reaching up, Leon gently cupped her face. He leaned in and very lightly kissed her lips. A goodbye kiss and it felt bittersweet to her heart. Then he let go of her and continued on the way he'd been going before. Tifa pulled in a deep, shaky breath of her own and started walking toward the bridge again.

She handed the thermos over to Cid and got a gruff 'thank you' in response. She was the only one he actually ever said 'thank you' to and she suspected it was either because he thought she would kick his butt if he didn't or because she'd been his hostess and he'd gotten into the habit of doing it back then.

He looked rougher around the edges than usual. And that was really saying something.

Tifa left him to go stand near the glass and look out at the sky beyond. The world was below but she liked looking at the clouds and pretending the sky went on forever both ways. It calmed her down and let her focus on something other than herself.

She knew Aerith would have probably said something to Cid and maybe she should. But she really had meant what she'd told Shera. She'd learned a long time ago to point out what you saw but never to give advice. It tended to backfire and that was on the rare occasions when anyone actually listened to it. Cid and Shera were in the position they were in because they'd put themselves there. They were unhappy with it because it wasn't working anymore – if it had ever worked. Pointing out either of those to Cid seemed kind of pointless because there was no way he didn't already know that. And she wasn't about to try to sooth out the problem he was having with his guilt. He pretty much deserved that as far as she was concerned.

It wasn't entirely his fault. Shera could have tossed him to the curb anytime she wanted to and she hadn't.

Love was a lot more complicated than the movies or the fairy tales that she'd had read to her when she was little made it out to be. The thought made Tifa smile dryly at the glass window. Yes, she definitely shouldn't be trying to give out advice on love. That would definitely be hypocritical.

"We'll be settin' down on the other side of Mount Nibel in about an hour," Cid announced. "Better go tell the others so y'all can work out Leon's entry plan."

Tifa nodded and turned away from the window to give Cid a small smile. She took one last look at the clouds and went back down the stairs.

Yes, she thought dryly. Tifa Lockhart was probably the last person in the world that should be giving out romantic advice.


	61. Chapter 61: Nibelheim

_I kept hearing a song for Cloud in my head for this chapter and its New Drug by Thousand Foot Krutch._

Chapter 61: Nibelheim

The plan had been fairly straightforward and like all good, clean cut plans it fell apart as soon as they tried to use it.

They arrived in Nibelheim with their packs on their backs, nothing more than wandering travelers looking for a place to spend the night and, incidentally, curious about the rumors they'd heard of monsters. From there they were supposed to get a room at the local inn, gather information on how heavily guarded the reactor was, scout out the guard shifts and rotations, go in and blow the thing up.

They didn't even make it to the 'getting a room at the local inn' part of the plan.

Because there was no inn apparently. Not anymore at least. They stood in front of the ruined shell that was left of the building as evening started to come on and Zack rubbed the back of his head.

"How much do you think they charge a night?" he asked and Tifa, standing next to him, turned her head to look at the rest of the village. It was – odd. For a lot of reasons. The most obvious being that the inn was the only ruined building. Which might have been explained by a careless guest falling asleep with a cigarette in hand on a bed or a kitchen fire except – the ruin was old. Old enough that someone should have either been cannibalizing it by now or trying to clear it away to build a new one. Tifa had grown up in Midgar – anything useful there didn't get left lying around for long. But the burned out ruin looked like it had been left entirely alone, right down to the battered pot she saw half buried under dirt and debris.

The second thing she noticed was –

"Sure is empty around here," Leon commented and he was right. There had been a few people moving through the small town before but looking around now, Tifa hardly saw anyone and the few that she did see were quickly disappearing into their houses. Tifa lowered her hand to rest it on Red's head.

"Feels like the beginning of an old black and white horror movie," she murmured to him. Zack was enthused.

"Cool." He put his fists on his hips and turned to survey the town's center from where he was standing. "So are we going to camp out here or are we going to have Cloud kick a door down?"

Cloud, standing silently a little behind Tifa, turned his head to look over calmly. Both Tifa and Zack had the beginning of a smirk at the edges of their lips and Shera turned to look at them all, realizing she was missing an inside joke. Leon raised an eyebrow at Zack and shook his head.

"Let me try something," Tifa suggested and dropped her pack next to Zack before sprinting over to catch up with someone just about to disappear into their house. Red caught up to her a second later.

"Please," Tifa made her voice young and a little weak for the old woman. Who she had noticed had been watching them hesitantly. "Can you help us?" Seeing her withdraw, Tifa added: "We just want to know if there's anywhere to stay for the night. We've been traveling so long."

The old woman's eyes darted to the group and then back to Tifa.

"You monster hunters?"

Tifa glanced back at her group and saw how all three of the men had huge bladed weapons strapped to their backs. She pressed her lips together to stop the smile. They did look like wandering mercenaries, didn't they? At least the men. She and Shera probably looked out of place in that group. She turned her face back to the old woman.

"We've had to become something like that really. It's hard to travel anywhere these days without running into monsters."

The old woman seemed to be balancing something in her mind and she finally nodded.

"You can stay with me. I haven't got anything to steal and if the men have you two women they're not going to be interested in bothering me. Just don't break anything."

Tifa was still blinking at what the woman had just assumed about her when the old woman turned and shuffled hurriedly into her house.

"Well, hurry up," their new hostess snapped. "I lock the door when the sun goes down and that's it for the night."

"Right. Thank you," Tifa managed before turning to wave over her companions. They joined her and Leon and Cloud both, in their own ways, gave the outside of the house and the area around it an intense once over.

"She thinks we're monster hunter. Or mercenaries," Tifa informed the group. "That's what you get for carrying around those huge swords of yours." She squinted her eyes a little. "And I think she thinks Shera and I are – comfort women?"

"All right," Zack's fists jerked down in triumph. "I get to kill monsters **for money** AND I get a girl!"

"Zack, I don't think – " Leon began but Zack had already reached out and wrapped an arm around the shoulders of a surprised looking Shera to pull her up against his side.

"I claim the cute one," he announced cheerfully and gave Tifa a shrug. "Sorry, Teef. You hit too hard when you're annoyed."

Despite herself, Tifa started laughing.

"Give me back my backpack, Zack Fair. You're getting testosterone all over it."

They followed the old woman into her house and were given strict orders to stay in the downstairs part and to not touch or break anything and to keep any monster fighting, or other fighting, outside and to clean up after themselves and to keep the door locked no matter what once when the sun went down.

"Why?" Tifa asked and the old woman scowled and looked at her shuttered windows.

"Because that's when _he_ comes out."

"He?" Leon asked and the old woman looked at him.

"You want to earn your keep you kill the beast that goes snuffling around our town in the middle of the night, draining people of blood."

"The Shinra soldiers can't do that?" Shera asked and the old woman laughed.

"You really aren't from around here. Aren't no Shinra soldiers no more. Too many monsters up at the reactor. Something went wrong and ate them all. Now it's just us and that monstrosity Shinra left behind on our mountain. And _him_."

"Did – he – come from the reactor too?" Tifa asked and the old woman scowled and shook her head.

"He came after. But at least the monsters stay out of our town. _He_ comes right in like he's got a right or something. You kill _him_ and you can have your pick of which house puts you up while you're here."

With that the old woman turned and firmly bolted and locked the door for the night.

The living room was small and crowded with furniture but the team settled into it for the night. Zack made it a point to set his bedroll next to Shera's and Tifa was pretty sure the woman was going to be bright red all night long. Leon stood at one of the closed windows and frowned, arms folded across his chest.

"The reactor's not supplying power. I looked around, they're getting it from old fashioned sources here. So it looks like Shinra's left the reactor abandoned for the moment. Because of the monsters? Or the beast she's talking about? Something else?"

Tifa, standing by the door to make sure the old woman didn't listen in, looked back into the room in time to see Zack cheerfully sit on the couch right next to Shera and take her hand. He was enjoying himself too much though she wasn't worried in the least about Zack getting too carried away. Maybe Cid should have come after all just so that he could see this. A little prod might not be bad for the man.

"The manor," Cloud's low voice drew their attention. He was leaning against the other side of the doorway from Tifa and had his chin tucked down to his chest, arms folded in front of him. Even for Cloud, he'd been quiet since they'd touched down.

"Cloud?" she asked and he exhaled but didn't look up.

"There's a manor. Shinra manor. In the – " he stopped and his head twitched a little to the side. "In the basement. Records." He stopped again and his eyes were absolutely aqua under his lashes as he refused to look up. "Shinra did more than – Shinra did more here."

It was silent after Cloud finished speaking and his rough, hollow voice seemed to linger in it.

'_Shinra did more here…'_

"Like the room we saw in the last Midgar reactor?" Leon finally asked quietly and Cloud gave a nod that was a head jerk of his chin closer to his chest.

Shera and Zack apparently hadn't been filled in about the room full of test tubes and chemicals and – everything you'd need for a mad scientist really and they looked at the rest of them in question. They were both smart enough to know that now wasn't the time to ask though. Red just sat near Tifa's heel and watched it all with his golden eyes and who knew what going on behind them. Leon lowered his head to rest his mouth against his fist in thought.

"You think the beast the woman's talking about might be part of that?" he finally asked and Cloud's voice was absolutely emotionless and flat. His answers were even shorter than usual.

"Possible."

Leon nodded and sank into his thoughts. After a minute he announced:

"All right. New plan. Half of us go and blow the reactor. The rest of us will check out that basement."

"Tonight?" Zack was ready to go and Leon looked thoughtful and shook his head.

"Tomorrow. We'll need a guide for the team going up the mountain. I've heard it's dangerous without one. I don't think any of the villagers will go up the mountain in the dark."

"What about the 'beast'?" Zack wanted to know and Leon shook his head.

"Not tonight. Not unless it comes to us. We might find something in the manor tomorrow. We'll stay and take care of it tomorrow night if we need to. But the reactor and the manor notes are our first priority."

"Don't worry, my sweet," Zack turned to Shera. "I'll keep you safe."

Tifa was just coughing her laugh when the old woman came in.

For someone that didn't seem to like or trust them, she had certainly put some obvious effort into making them dinner and making enough of it for everyone. Leon insisted that the old woman join them to eat it as well and Zack had soon charmed her into giggling at his harmless flirting and talking about how things 'used to be'. Shera, much to her embarrassment however, remained the center of Zack's attention and finally, in exasperation as far as Tifa could tell, took to calling the ex-SOLDIER the most outrageous love names whenever she responded to his attentions.

It only seemed to delight and encourage him.

Tifa did get the name of a reliable guide off of the old woman during the course of the meal and quite a bit of harmless gossip about the families in the area as well. Apparently their hostess was the town busybody. Which would explain why she'd been open to letting them in. Information was more important than anything.

Cloud stayed silent throughout the meal and when they were done, he helped Tifa clear everything away and take it into the kitchen to wash. Everyone else started to get ready to bed down for the night and so that left Tifa and Cloud standing side by side at the sink washing the dishes. The only light was from a dim oil lamp on the small table in the corner. Bare hands touched and slid over each others, as they exchanged soapy dishes. Cloud was withdrawing into himself, shutting down and going somewhere dark and silent. But his fingers tangled with and brushed slowly against Tifa's as much as hers sought his in the silent exchange of dishes. Finally, very softly, his voice rough at its edges, he said:

"Go to the reactor tomorrow."

Tifa paused, hands on the pan she was cleaning and turned her head to look at him. They were shoulder to shoulder at the sink, both standing closer than they really needed to be to pass dishes between them. Cloud's head was down, hands loose around a glass he'd already rinsed twice and his hair fell forward across his forehead and blue eyes. Tifa turned a little into him. In the dim light and shadows, his face was expressionless.

"Not the basement," she stated.

His chin tucked. A barely there nod.

Very gently, Tifa reached up and touched his cheek with a damp finger. Simply told him softly:

"All right."

His eyes did lift then and found hers in surprise. She gave him a tender, weak smile in response. Had he expected her to argue? His pale brows twitched over his eyes and he let go of the glass so that he could move that hand past her to lay it on the far side of the sink next to her hip. Powerful need mixed with absolute despair in his blue eyes and Tifa fell into them, into that, helpless to stop herself when she raised a soapy hand to rest on his chest. She could see the battle going on inside him, feel the tension in his body, see the tight angles of his face and the way his jaw was locked. His eyes searched hers.

"Our promise – you remember?"

Trapped between him and the sink, trapped even more completely by what she saw in his eyes, Tifa nodded silently in response to his question. His breath jerked unsteadily in through his nose and the skin around the edges of his eyes tightened.

"I need – " it was pulled in a reluctant, rough edged voice from his throat. Without even knowing what he needed, Tifa gave a barely there nod, still holding his eyes. In that blue, she saw the sudden snap as the despair and the need and the sorrow came crashing down over him. She was suddenly pressed against him, pinned between the rim of the sink pressing into her back and his body against hers. And, instead of the hug she'd been expecting –

his mouth closed over hers.

The startled, helpless sound flew from her lips before she'd even realized it and Cloud took advantage of that parting fiercely, deepening the kiss. It pulled all the breath right out of her and shot electricity more potent than any materia she'd ever used right through her body. Her fingers knotted in the fabric of his shirt, both for support and to pull him closer. Her last brain cell exploded into sudden sparks in the fire he spun down through her. There was no room for questions or anything but pure instinctive reaction in the face of Cloud's need. Inexperienced, it was still easy to know how to kiss him and her mouth slid against his, fitting closer. More. Better. So much better…

He pressed forward into her, one hand planted on the sink rim on either side of her, and this time the sound that slipped out of her was pleased and longing and – and relieved as she gave in to him, this. To them... An answering rumble came from his own throat and his mouth on hers was liquid fire and blue electric as his head dipped to move him even closer to surrounding her, his fingers leaving unconscious dents in the thin metal of the sink as his knuckles went white, holding there.

Tifa had no such compunctions about touching and her fingers dragged up, arms snaking around his neck and shoulders, long soapy fingers tangling fiercely in his soft golden hair. Welcoming him - and the need and hunger of their shared kiss.

Cloud was the one that finally pulled back, raising his head to jerk breaths in through his lips, chest moving unsteadily. His hands stayed planted on the sink behind her, his body pressed into hers. Tifa, eyes closed, knew that her knees weren't going to be able to support her and she kept her arms twined around the man in front of her, head still tilted back, feeling… weak. And wonderful. And on fire. And – and so hopelessly confused. Her own shaken attempts at breathing matched Cloud's. Slow, his fingers came up, tender and soft as he curled them around the back of her head, slipping them through her hair as he gently coaxed her head forward so that her face was pressed into his shoulder and his other arm slipped around her in a hug. Holding him, being held, Tifa drew in her first steady breath and smelled clean skin, storm wind and lightening. When Cloud's head lowered to rest his cheek against her temple, he softly whispered:

"Thank you," against her ear.

And inexplicably, Tifa felt like crying.


	62. Chapter 62: Mount Nibel

Chapter 62: Mount Nibel

The next morning Tifa followed their guide up the side of Mount Nibel in the gray early light. The air was cooler up this far and Tifa had her jacket zipped all the way up to her throat even though she knew as the day went on and her body started to heat on its own, she'd want to take it off. Her pack was across her back again and she'd put the jacket in there when the time came. Right on top of all the explosives.

Red trotted next to her or just ahead up the switchback trail and Zack took up the rear, insightfully silent as they climbed. The path was narrow and hard to see even with a guide and it took up a great deal of Tifa's concentration.

Not all of it though and her mind twisted inside her head. The way it had most of the night.

Strangely a great deal of her thinking involved feeling guilty.

What would Cissnei think if she knew?

It seemed the stupidest thing to be worried about. Cloud had held her, been held in her arms, for a very long time after their shared kiss. They had stood in the dim light in each other's arms in silence. Tifa hadn't wanted anything to disturb it and certainly not words. Eventually, Cloud had taken her hand and led her back to the others, letting go of her hand with a light squeeze just before they stepped into the room.

He'd gone to his sleeping mat on the other side of the room and Tifa had ended up on hers. In the dark, she'd reached out and Red had let her drag him over so that she could curl around his warmth and he'd pressed his nose into her throat and stayed with her all night long. She didn't know if any of the three of them had actually slept.

Cloud had needed to remember he was human. He'd needed to know he was alive and real and not a monster. Tifa… she suspected that whatever had been done to him – it had been here. In Nibelheim. So close to his personal nightmare… he'd reached for her.

Because Cissnei wasn't here.

He loved her. Even if he wasn't _in_ love with her, Tifa knew that Cloud loved her. And he knew she loved him. He'd needed someone that loved him last night, and he'd needed someone who loved him as deeply and completely as Tifa did. He'd needed to feel that love and there was not a single part of Tifa that wasn't proud and moved that he'd reached for her in that need. Not a part of her that didn't go weak and aching knowing that he'd reached for her in his personal darkness. _Her_. And not because there was no one else but because he'd needed her. Her specifically. Tifa Lockhart.

He'd need her. Not Cissnei.

Cissnei wasn't here.

But when Cissnei did come back… when Cissnei did come back Tifa knew she was going to have to step to the side and pretend that last night never happened. That, even now, she was supposed to pretend that last night never happened. It had – it had been important – but it had belonged just to that night, that kitchen, those circumstances. It didn't belong now. It hadn't had a future. It was just a moment.

A moment that made her lips tingle and her stomach skip and heat flush through her heart, that made her knees and joints feel funny whenever she thought about it. That made her grin stupidly into the collar of her jacket and feel like hugging herself.

But only a moment.

Nothing had changed between them when they had parted today. Cloud, intent on what was ahead of him, ready for it, had been focused. Tifa had been very careful not to act any differently around him than she usually did – though she was careful not to touch him. They'd gotten their roles figured out as a divided group and everyone had headed out. Tifa, Zack and Red to take out the reactor – Leon, Shera, and Cloud to the Shinra manor.

So here she was, hiking up the side of a narrow mountain, torn between smiling, feeling empty, feeling guilty, and worrying about the rickety bridges they had to keep carefully clambering over. It was actually a relief when the monsters starting showing up.

Tifa didn't consider herself a monster expert but, traveling around, she'd learned to expect certain things, learned to recognize certain moves. She'd gotten used to patterns in the monsters for lack of a more scientific explanation. The ones that lurked around the steep bends and in holes in the ground on this mountain – most of them weren't like any she'd dealt with before. And the ones that were – were… off. Bigger than she was used to or with more arms and legs or with attacks she hadn't expected.

"I _hate _random monsters," Zack complained as they ran into yet another group of them and their guide took a dive behind a rock, the way he'd taken to doing every time this happened.

"What are these?" Tifa asked as she stepped forward to stand at his side in the path, shifting her feet to grind her boots deeper into the dirt and rock. Even more than getting eaten, she was worried about falling off the edge. Red darted forward in the opening attack and Zack dodged to the side and brought his sword swinging around.

"Giant mosquitoes?" he guessed. Tifa activated the bolt materia in her gloves and pulled down lightening. She seemed to be using a lot of lighting and fire attacks today and she told herself it was just because it was cold and she didn't want to use ice. Her gloves were already covered with monster gore.

"Do these seem stronger to you?" she asked as the two monsters finally burst like muck filled balloons and Tifa held her arm in the way and turned her face. Zack grunted and shook his head like a puppy shaking water off its coat.

"Yeah," he agreed with a wince. "Bigger too."

"The reactor?" Tifa guessed and Zack shrugged as their guide got back on the road and kept going. Tifa had to give the guy points for not turning and running off the very first time something jumped out at them, much less keeping going.

"Might be a mako leak. Or something?" Zack guessed, rubbing the back of his head as they both fell into step behind their guide. Zack didn't bother put up his sword and Tifa rubbed a hand absently over the materia embedded in her gloves, feeling its reassuring warmth.

"At least we're getting in practice," Tifa offered. "I feel like I'm getting better at this."

Zack grinned.

"You are," he agreed. Proud of her. "You're getting faster and your hits are really starting to nail them. And I love that kick flip somersault thing you've got going on. Very hot."

It made Tifa laugh and Zack looked over at her with a softer smile.

"That's better. I was afraid you weren't going to do that today."

She looked over at him and gave a half smile and a sigh.

"Am I really that obvious?"

"Nah. I just know you good enough. Don't worry. Whatever Cloud messed up, you guys will fix it."

Tifa coughed another laugh and looked over at him with wide eyes. Zack shrugged and gave her a grin.

"You two were acting weird this morning. So, since I know you're an angel, I figure it must have been something Cloud did. And I also know you two are good enough together that you'll figure it out and fix it up."

"Wow," Tifa shook her head. Paused and then added: "Just – wow."

"_Fuckin'_ random battles!" Zack shouted as their guide took another dive behind a rock.

They did eventually make it to the top of the mountain and the ruined looking reactor. All four of them paused and looked up at its looming bulk. It looked dark and foreboding and flat out unsafe. Lifestream energy was getting pulled out of the earth here – and then left uncontrolled and wild. Tifa couldn't imagine any scenario where that was a good thing. Their guide took off his backpack and pulled out what looked like his lunch. At their look he waved a hand.

"I'll wait here but I'm not setting foot in there. You wanted it, you go on in. I'll be here until the sun hits the peek over there and then I'm gone."

Tifa turned to look and saw that left them almost the entire rest of the day. She'd guess it was probably only about noon now. Zack nodded.

"Hey, thanks, man," he told the guide. "We'll get things done here and then we'll book it back home before dark, okay?"

"That was my plan," their unflappable guide agreed.

Tifa gave Zack a shrug when he looked at her and so, with Red on one side and Zack on the other, she climbed the steps into the reactor and went inside.

It was cooler here where the sun didn't reach and hollowly empty sounding. It wasn't a pleasant feeling at all but Tifa resisted putting her jacket back on. Something told her there would be more monsters here and her jacket hindered her movements. Zack rested his fists on his hips and looked around.

"Bit of a fixer upper," he judged and Tifa couldn't help but smile. The day Zack lost his sense of humor was the day she started wearing mini-skirts during fights. Tifa shouldered her pack.

"Should be set up like all the other Shinra reactors," she guessed and it certainly looked like it from the area they were in. A reactor was a reactor, not a personal interior decorating loft, and Shinra seemed to think if a design worked it wasn't worth changing. It certainly made their job easier.

"How about I carry the trigger," she suggested. "You and Red are the better fighters."

Last night, after realizing that the reactor wasn't guarded, but that it was likely full of monsters, Leon had gotten Shera to rig the explosives with a trigger. Having no idea how long it would take to set them or what they could expect to find at the top of the mountain a trigger had seemed more sensible than a timer that might go off while the team was still inside, held up fighting monsters or trying to find their way around ruined equipment.

"Sound plan," Zack agreed and then gave her a smile. "Where to first, boss lady?"

With a hum of thought, Tifa started down one of the side halls, boots echoing hollowly on the metal as she went. She'd refreshed her knowledge of the layouts onboard the _Highwind_ and she remembered some of it from personal experience as well. She had a couple of codes for the doors too but things looked like they'd either been left open or broken open and it didn't look like she'd need them.

They only ran into two groups of monsters on their way to lay the first explosive. Tifa laid the contraption deep inside the piping, not wanting any random creatures to either set it off early or disable it. Technically, if the explosives didn't go off, all they had to do was come back tomorrow and do it all again. But Tifa didn't like the idea of wandering into a room that was already set to blow. She also had a bit of team pride. They'd been sent to do the job and it would be embarrassing if they messed it up and one of the others had to come back here to fix things. Zack watched curiously over her shoulder as Red watched their backs and Tifa armed the device. The trigger was in her vest pocket. Shera had assured her its signal was strong enough to reach anywhere inside the reactor but Tifa was a bit worried that the loose mako energy might distort it or get in the way.

Of course, there was only one way to find that out.

"Next one, Tifa straightened up. "Let's see how close to the actual core of the reactor we can get."

She was setting them up farthest from the door first. Liking the idea that, if they did start to go off unexpectedly it wouldn't be doing so between her and the exit out. Zack nodded and stayed close at her shoulder as she led the way toward where she figured it should be. The reactor had been more than abandoned. It had been ruined by the monsters running amuck in it and Tifa was soon going on general direction, picking her way up and around smashed sections. They laid the second explosive behind a computer terminal and then moved on with the last one. Zack got good at sliding forward when monsters showed up and Tifa got good at standing in the back and calling down lightening and casting cure on her companions. Granted, it wasn't as much fun as being on the front line – but if she got tossed wrong and popped the button on the det early…

Well, that would be a lot less fun.

They finally picked their way around a ruined door and into the room just before the core itself. It was the room where all the actual machines were and Tifa had seen it before. Except, beyond the pipes and the usual machines –

Tifa froze where she was and Zack jerked to a stop at her shoulder.

"Teef?" he asked softly and she shook her head, eyebrows coming down as she started forward. Toward familiar looking pods set in rows that ascended the metal stairs up toward the door to the core itself.

"These are – " Tifa couldn't help herself as she walked over to climb the stairs to the first row. Feeling both frightened and curious.

"I've seen these before. Cloud said – Cloud said they were used to actually make monsters." Knowing better and doing it anyway, Tifa reached up and rubbed the condensation away from one of the small glass windows. It revealed green haze inside and –

She jerked back with a little noise even though she'd thought she'd been braced for it and Zack moved next to her both for support and to look himself. He jerked back in surprise too.

"Monsters – "

Tifa nodded at Zack's assessment and looked in the glass again. It was a monster. Malformed and brutal looking. She couldn't – she just couldn't see whatever made that, making Cloud as well. It should be more… human looking. Zack looked at the rows around them.

"Do they all have monsters in them?"

"We'd have to look." Tifa didn't sound enthused and Zack didn't move from her side to start. Bothered by something, Tifa looked at the one in front of her again.

"Zack," she leaned back to bump a shoulder against his chest. "I think – I think it's dead."

The alien face through the glass, even distorted by green haze and liquid, looked as if it were in pain. Horrible pain. And – it looked like it was missing pieces. As if it had been in there for a long time and was starting to rot.

"Come on, Zack shifted uncomfortably behind her. "Let's set that bomb and get out of here. My skin's starting to crawl."

"Right," she nodded. Whatever was in those pods – it wasn't human and if the one in front of her was any indication, it wasn't alive either. Cloud, whatever he may think, certainly hadn't been born in one of these. She'd meant what she'd said about him being the little boy she remembered. It was just reassuring to see more proof. Quick, Tifa hurried up the rest of the stairs, wondering how many lives Shinra was going to ruin before the end. Slowly killing a planet wasn't enough? You had to get personal and make it a point to go after individuals?

The core beyond was alive with loose mako and Tifa paused in the entrance. A couple of narrow walkways ran to the main support in the center and a row of smashed computer terminals. Below those walkways the Lifestream itself moved and it cast an eerie green glow across everything in the room.

"Watch my back," she told Zack and he nodded and positioned himself so that he could watch the stairs downward and keep an eye on her too. Red crouched just inside the door. Moving carefully, Tifa started across the most stable looking of the walkways.

......

_Zack's reaction to random monster encounters is in thanks to Resobaso who's done a walkthrough for FFVII on YouTube. its fun and education and he whines like a little girl about random monster battles ;)_


	63. Chapter 63: Crossing Over

_poor Cloud - he really got nailed for that 'thank you'. I can't tell you how I laughed... does that make me evil? Not like he didn't deserve it though. and hey - welcome to all my new readers! Especially those of you who reviewed. Reviewers are my Kipling's 'best beloveds'. And speaking of which - demonegg - seriously. I adore you. yes, yes, yes - you got Cloud's conundrum perfectly! and me too apparently. Until you mentioned it I didn't even realize it but I do enjoy exploring the 'what makes us human' question - lol. We'll see what Tifa (and Cloud though he's being sneaky) can do about messing with that abstract triangal. Oceanee - I'm so glad you're enjoying this. Your reviews are so much fun for me to get in my email. LOL - it did take 60 chapters for that kiss, didn't it? Not that they move slow or anything... and I'm glad you enjoy the Zack/Tifa/Cloud dynamic. I really have so much writing the three of them together. You should get together with Peeka-chan and hunt my characters down with frying pans the way she's always threatening to as well. You are not alone in wanting to beat sense into them ;) That said, I'm glad you like confused conflicted Cloud - 'casue I'm about to make his life even harder :) Calenlass - glad you're enjoying. Hang on tight to something and keep your hands inside the ride at all times ;) Which brings me to Dis - yep, no sense making Cloud's life easy. Where's the fun in that? and hey - you're still here! Sometimes Real Life jumps up and bites you. Glad to see you managed to escape it and rejoin the rest of us. Fairheartstrife - you really do make my day with your reviews! Glad you liked the Cloud/Tifa 'holy CRAP what are we doing?!' moment. I should let them deal with the awkward repercussions of it but I think I'm going to go with violence and mayhem instead. Biskitty - you were right to be nervous... very, very right... bwahahaha - er. Yeah, so I'm glad you're enjoying the character interaction too. I've got to admit, I've got a cloti soul. It's hard not to let the two of them get tangled up whenever they get near each other. They do it so hopeless too. All I have to do is put them in a room and turn my back for a minute! Zack and Tifa - yeah, I adore the way those two turned out. I just can't imagine the two of them not bonding as friends considering their personalities and their mutual watching out for Cloud. And hey, who could resist letting Zack flirt with Shera. Poor woman was so abused in the game. zi-ling - oh my LORD! I ADORED what they did with most of ACC! I really liked what they did with Zack and Cloud during the battle and also like that they, for once, let Cloud be on time for his family and Tifa. Not to mention him and the kids was too adorable. I'm glad you're enjoying Zack as well as Cloud. I love being able to have Tifa think of them as 'her boys'. destiny's charm - here 'yar. Binkledup - when you catch up to this part - welcome to the party! drinks are in the fridge, grab a comfy chair. Hit that review button anytime you want. I love feedback - it feeds my little writer's soul. Jini - hey and welcome to you too! I'm so glad you're along for the ride. And hey, we've got plenty more to go before the end. Yeah, that kiss probably doesn't help that I grinned like a dork the entire time I wrote it - lol. And of course thanks to Peeka-chan who didn't threaten with frying pans this time but did supply enough written gasps and shrieks to make me chortle like a bad sci-fi B movie villian enlarging ants. _

_Okay, gang - ready for more?_

Chapter 63: Crossing Over

Tifa felt the lurch but after all those ancient rope bridges they'd crossed on the way up here, she'd almost been prepared for it. So as the walkway over the drop down into the Lifestream groaned and then tipped, she dashed forward and grabbing at the railing with both hands braced on either side of her. She'd gotten more flexible with all of her traveling and fighting and her arms were stronger. Nothing compared to one of the guys but strong enough to support herself and she used her arms to push off, up and forward. It got her to a stable part of the walk and she sprinted the rest of the way to the core. Walking carefully hadn't been working so maybe flat out running would.

She reached the other side without any more problems and turned to give Zack a jaunty wave from the stability of the core platform. She couldn't see it well in the strange light or hear anything over the whispering murmur of the Lifestream so close but she was pretty sure he was glaring at her. With a smile, she moved over to the structures that made up the main support. This was the place where the machines tapped directly into the core, the soul, of the planet itself. Little firefly lazy sparks of green drifted up from torn tubes and Tifa tried to avoid those. Who knew what they held? Memories? Energy? Something else entirely? At least she didn't have to feel guilty about blowing up this reactor. There was no one here to worry about hurting and collapsing it would be a relief to the town below once the Lifestream was buried again and the monsters stopped mutating so wildly. Careful but quick she stooped down and found a good spot for the explosive she'd gotten out of Zack's pack. Arranging it and setting the charge, she then touched her vest pocket from habit to make sure the trigger was still there.

Had it been less than a year ago she'd had no idea about explosives, Shinra's real face, or what to steal off of green dragons? Her old self might not have recognized her – but she didn't think that was necessarily a bad thing. Carefully standing up and backing away she turned her head to look back over the abyss.

Zack and Red both gone from the doorway.

More monsters?

She gave the remaining walkways that weren't tilted a quick look and found the one that looked the most stable. Starting across it carefully, she stayed toward the middle so that her slight weight didn't unbalance it. Walking as quickly as she could without jarring things, she made her way across.

Had something come out of one of the pods?

Somethings?

She told herself that Red and Zack could take care of themselves just fine but that didn't mean she wasn't pushing safety limits on how fast she should be moving by the time she reached the last part of the walkway.

She heard the crash from the outer room just as her boots touched the solid outer walk and without even having to think about it, she was running, materia already coming alive on her hands and in her mind.

What she saw as she cleared the door wasn't what she expected though.

Her eyes focused on Zack first. He was halfway down the stairs, lying amid several broken pods as if he'd been careless tossed that way. He was struggling to raise himself and she saw his face was covered in blood. His hands were empty. His sword - ? She'd never actually seen him conscious and without his sword nearby and she looked for it automatically –

And found it.

It was lying on the ground behind the man slowly ascending the stairs.

Tifa's breath caught in her throat and the approaching man paused and slowly raised his face to her.

Pale. He was so pale. With long white hair and pale eyes like jade. But there was something... almost reptilian about him, about those still, patient humanless eyes. Tifa felt a shudder move through her soul. The way it had when she'd fought the Jenova birth. What was in front of her wasn't natural. It didn't belong here no matter what it looked like.

Zack made a noise.

"Teef – get out of here – "

Far down at the bottom of the stairs, in growing horror, she could make out Red's crumpled form against some crushed pipes.

"Hush," the white man dressed in black spoke softly to Zack. Gently. "You're nothing but a dead dream of someone else. Don't speak in the presence of real people. Hollander should have never forced life into you."

And he raised a long, thin sword that seemed to go on forever to Tifa and advanced on the fallen SOLDIER. Zack raised his head and grit his teeth, glaring at the approaching man with narrow eyes.

"Go to hell, Sephiroth," he grit out and the man smiled softly in response.

"No!" It tore out of her throat and Tifa called down the strongest lightening bolt she had. It ripped through her as she activated the materia and the raw power blasted down from the ceiling, screaming, blinding and white as it enveloped the white haired man. Sephiroth? Her mind had one instant to feel the horror of recognizing the name and then Tifa was charging down the stairs before her lightening even had a chance to dissipate. Seeing Zack from the corner of her eyes as she bolted… cheerful, joking Zack – who wasn't joking now. Horrified she saw the flare of power as Sephiroth emerged unscathed from the fading tangle of electric energy. Using her momentum, she swung her leg wide, boot coming low for his ankles. With no apparently effort at all, he flipped backward in the air and came to rest at the foot of the stairs, almost floating down to land silently. And his pale lips smiled.

Zack. He was her friend, he was like a brother. She had to protect him. Had to give him time to use some of the healing materia she knew he carried. He called after her but she couldn't run. Not and keep him safe. So she took her fight straight to her enemy, moving in fast and hard, trying to move fast enough, quick enough, erratic enough, that it would work.

Even as she threw punches and kicks though – she knew it wasn't going to. Not against Shinra's greatest war hero. He dodged her blows almost carelessly and she knew – _she knew_ – he was simply indulging her.

But what was the alternative?

"How insignificant you humans are," he stated calmly. "And how frail."

Tifa caught the flash of silver coming up toward her from the floor from the corner of her eye and that was all she had time for. Something tore through her chest and sent her flying backward and the sudden shock and the sudden pain were so intense her world actually went white and then black even though she knew her eyes must still be open. Her body landed against the stairs like a rag doll thrown in a child's temper tantrum and Tifa couldn't even begin to try to cushion the fall or how her arms and legs tangled as she thudded into the stairs. Boneless, her body rolled down them and that hurt.

But it was nothing compared to the fire radiating out from her chest.

She tasted blood, a metal taste in her mouth, and her vision swam back to her as if it were moving through water. She couldn't – couldn't seem to breath and she felt sick to her stomach. And the pain – the somehow worse word than _pain_ – was radiating out of her chest like some dark hole ripped in reality itself. She wanted to curl up and surround it – and she didn't want to move and touch it. She wanted to writhe – and couldn't seem to remember how to past the pain. Couldn't even concentrate enough to active the materia in her gloves and she'd thought she could do that in her sleep. Somehow she still managed to hear, past the rushing in her ears, the sound of footsteps, slow and calm, approaching on the metal stairs.

Zack…

The pale man was coming for Zack.

The pain was everywhere, drowning her but – he was going to kill Zack!

He'd have to get past her first.

Squeezing her eyes closed she concentrated. Sweat broke out on her forehead and she heard her own breathing starting to wheeze in her throat, filling her ears. Felt liquid filling her throat and mouth.

She sounded like Dad.

The thought made her realize - this was about more than Zack. It flashed through her mind as she inhaled liquid. This was about Marlene and Denzel and the entire team down at the Shinra mansion. The nameless faces in Wutai and Costa del Sol. Aerith's father and the horror in his eyes when he spoke of thoughts inserted into his own mind that weren't his and creatures that were supposed to be long dead that spoke. This was about the madman of Wutai and Jenova and horrible things happening to the world – all because of the white haired man on the stairs.

"Zack?" it wheezed out of her and from somewhere behind and to the side he answered. His voice was just a broken as hers. Did he know what she was thinking…?

"Finish it, Teef."

Her fingers jerked in response. Flicked crimson blood from the puddle she way lying in. Locking her jaw, biting down hard with her teeth, she made them flick again and then slow, sight spinning with white lights and then going black at its edges, she made her hand move. Not much. Just a little. Just – just a little…

Black boots moved into her vision, just the toes of them, standing there in her blood. Waiting. Slow, painful, buying time, she gave him what he wanted and turned her face. Just enough to see his. Or the blur of him because the pain had ripped tears into her eyes and she hated – **hated **– to think he might think those tears were for him.

Only Cloud was allowed to have her tears.

Only Cloud…

"Pitiful," his voice was calm. And Tifa bared her teeth in what would have to pass for a grin. Knowing she needed a real zinger of a come back. But all she managed was:

"Yep."

And her thumb pushed the button on the trigger in the pocket of her vest and the explosions started.

Tifa's head fell back so that her face was once again almost buried in her own blood and exhaled completely. An explosion of Lifestream and fire flew over her head and scorched her hair. Her last thought surprisingly was –

'at least now I don't have to worry about not acting guilty the next time I see Cissnei…'


	64. Chapter 64: Gray

Chapter 64: Gray

Tifa opened her eyes… and saw white. Pure, brilliant, blinding white. She squinted against it but it didn't dim or go away.

White?

She'd always just assumed returning to the Lifestream would be green…

If it had to be a color - she would have liked blue more.

Blue like the sky over the forever plains.

Blue like the water in Costa del Sol.

Blue like….

like his eyes….

oh… She was going to miss his eyes…

She opened her eyes again later and it was black.

Black?

What had happened to the White?

She squinted again.

Was she unraveling? Was that why things were Black?

She'd always assumed that you kind of… unraveled… when you went back to the Lifestream… that all your memories just wandered off on their own and you… unraveled until you just _weren't_ anymore…

Lifestream…

She should apologize. She'd used it to turn on her lights…

When she opened her eyes next it was White again.

'How long did it take to unravel?' she thought with mild annoyance. She'd thought it would be quick – but this coming back again and again… she didn't like that. It – hurt. Her eyes hurt. Her – her heart hurt. Hurt so bad. As if someone had reached right in and ripped it out.

But… she didn't have a heart to be ripped out… did she? Hadn't she… hadn't she given it away already…?

The next time her eyes fluttered open to White she was seriously annoyed. Being dead was supposed to be better than this. At least she was fairly sure it was. Living was supposed to be hard but worth it, dying was supposed to be scary and being dead was supposed to be easy. So why did she have to keep opening her eyes to light? Intentionally, she shut them again.

It was dark the next time she opened her eyes. She was tired of trying to figure out how to be dead and she shut them again.

When she opened her eyes again it was – gray? Gray was a new color. She squinted her eyes and blinked a couple of times and saw… blurry gray shapes in the gray. Given something new to distract herself with she stared at the blurry gray shapes. One of them moved but it was in spurts. One second there and then, without actually moving, it would be in a different place. Like it – jumped.

Or time skipped for her.

Her throat hurt and her chest hurt and her head hurt. She shut her eyes.

She woke up screaming and then shut down again before she could wonder why.

The Gray was still there when she finally opened her eyes again and she was glad. She liked the Gray better than the Black and the White. It was more interesting. The gray shapes were back again as well but they weren't moving this time. Tifa watched them for a long time and thought how comforting they looked. All huddled together. Two little grays and a big gray. When she blinked again, the two little grays and the big gray had another slender gray with them. A blink and now the little grays were gone and it was two big grays leaning against each other. Shoulder to shoulder. Another blink and the little grays were back with the eternal big gray and there were three other grays who didn't huddle but did stand close. It made her smile.

She could jump grays in her mind. She shut her eyes, content with that.

When she opened her eyes again, Tifa finally recognized the Gray.

It was because she was in a room and the blinds were drawn over the windows that seemed to take up a great deal of the walls. Her throat felt dry and her mouth felt dry. Her skin felt tight over her bones and uncomfortable. She was lying on her side and she knew, without knowing why, that moving was a bad idea.

If she was dead, it was a boring way to spend eternity.

And then she realized what she'd been focused on all along and saw…

sunshine…

Cloud.

It made her smile weakly and her lips stuck to her dry teeth a little at the motion.

He was sleeping sitting up near the door. He had Marlene in his lap and Denzel collapsed against his side and under one of his arms. All of them were sleeping in the gray light. Her mind told her there was more – and that she didn't want to know what it was. So she concentrated on Cloud's hair and the children in his arms.

They didn't look good. They all slept too tightly, too completely. Someone hadn't been taking care of them.

"…hey…" she whispered it or tried to. Nothing came out when she spoke. Something inside her told her not to move and so she didn't. Instead she forced a swallow, forced moisture into her mouth and wet her lips. She exhaled carefully – why was she so sure she needed to do things carefully? – and tried again.

"…hey…"

It barely came out of her and she frowned. At least it was progress. At least, it didn't seem like she needed to be in any hurry. Cloud's chin shifted against his chest. He looked young when he was sleeping and it made her smile.

"…hey… chocobo head…"

He inhaled and it pulled his head up a little and to the side. His eyelids stuttered open and the blue, blue blue under them was vague and mildly confused. But they settled on her and for a long time they just stared at each other across the room. Finally, Tifa's lips shifted upward at their edges and she shifted her fingers where they lay on the bed. She made curling motions with them. Cloud's eyes seemed to suddenly realize what he was seeing.

"…come here…"

He rose cautiously, carefully setting the children down so that they were lying comfortably. Slow, one hesitant step at a time, he came closer. Tifa watched him with a soft smile. Thinking about only him the way her head told her to. When he started to go to his knees in front of her she made a noise.

"Um mm." Her hand turned on the bed to offer her palm.

"In bed. With me," she was very sure about that and she put that into her slowly improving whisper. She watched his chin tuck, his face angle just a little away from her and she turned her hand to make scratching noises against the mattress. Her eyes never left him. His own eyes rose and found her face and she gave him her best smile, still barely there.

"…promise…"

His eyes met hers at the whispered reminder and they looked impossibly young and lost – and yet impossibly old and worn. She didn't like what she saw in that blue but whatever he saw in her eyes, he suddenly knelt over her on the bed, the mattress sinking on the far side of her legs where his knee pressed into it. His other hand came up to spread for support on the mattress in front of her and she saw he was wearing his gloves. Where had that little silver wolf cuff come from…?

For a minute she felt his implied heat, his almost weight, but he was careful not to jar her and then he was on the mattress behind her and his body was pressing it down so that she slipped a little toward him. That didn't hurt so she very carefully scooted back a bit more. He realized what she was doing because his body, all of his body, was suddenly shifted forward to press against her. She made a quiet noise of relief and turned her head a little to him as she shut her eyes. His arm moved to close across her and she felt his fingers burrowing between the mattress and her body so that he could curve them around her hip. She managed to wiggle just enough to fit somehow tighter against him and she weakly wrapped her fingers around his forearm where it lay against her stomach. Her chest still hurt, her heart hurt, but it was all right. She turned her head to rest in the hollow against him and let herself go again.

No more Black or White or even Gray. Her world was Blue.

When she woke up again, Cloud was asleep against her. He was on his side against her back and, being bigger, partially draped over her, forming a protective barrier around and over her. Again. His head lay heavy against hers and his exhales ruffled their mingled hair on her cheek. He was sleeping heavy. The way only pure exhaustion, body and heart, could make you sleep. She squinted open a single eye and saw it was dark but that someone had put on a nightlight. Marlene and Denzel had a bed now and it was pushed right up against hers. They were both piled on it as close to her side as they could get and she couldn't imagine how they managed to sleep as uncomfortable as their tangled position looked. Tifa lay there for a long time and did nothing but watch the sleeping faces of her siblings and soak in the feeling of being surrounded by Cloud.

The next time she woke it was because there was a voice. Cloud's voice. And it was quietly furious.

"No."

He was still wrapped around and over her and his voice was a low sound. Utterly implacable and tight with barely controlled violence.

"We have to. It's for her own good. You know that." She thought it sounded like Leon's voice but it was so tired and defeated that she wasn't sure. Cloud's arms wrapped a little bit more completely around her somehow and he simply repeated:

"No."

"Cloud," there was a long pause. Then a sigh. "We have to do this while Marlene and Denzel are gone."

"Because it makes her scream," it came out between clenched teeth somewhere near her ear. "No."

"Cloud – "

"I don't scream," it weakly slipped out of her lips before she really thought about it. And then, still not thinking, she added: "And my throat hurts."

The sudden silence in the room was shocked. Tifa's brows came down over her still closed eyes.

"I said," she repeated herself. "I don't scream."

It seemed important to make that point and she had no idea why. Her family didn't scream. Well, Marlene – that once. But there had been a real point behind that. Tifa didn't remember screaming ever. Though she did make that small squeaky noise when spiders surprised her sometimes. And she'd yelled names before. Was that screaming? And there was that one time –

"Tifa?" Leon's voice and it was very close to her face, full of disbelief. She wrinkled her brows at him too.

"Leon?" she mimicked. And then added: "Throat still hurts." It was the closest she could come to asking for help.

There was a sound nearby and then she felt a straw against her lips.

"Here." Leon's voice again and she cautiously sipped at it. Tasting nothing more suspicious than water, she reached out with her hand to wrap her fingers around the cup, not liking being an invalid. She knew enough to drink the water slowly. Somewhere a bit further away, she heard a door open and close softly. Sick people – you shut doors carefully for sick people. It annoyed Tifa and she couldn't say why.

"The kids are – Leon?" Aerith's voice and Leon's answer.

"She's awake."

"Really?" Aerith suddenly sounded much closer and Tifa felt her free hand pressed where it rested against Cloud's arm. "Than – you were right, Cloud. She really did wake up."

"Still here," Tifa muttered, reminding them not to talk about her like she wasn't there and Aerith made a sound that was partially choked cry and partial laughter. Tifa felt the tickle of her bangs and Aerith pressed her face into the back of Tifa's hand. The comforting feel of her friend's presence made her smile weakly.

"Going back to sleep now," Tifa let go of the cup before whispering weakly: "Don't make me scream. Please…"

The next time she opened her eyes the room was lighter. Cloud was still lying against her back but as she lay still enjoying that she heard paper turn in front of her. Squinting an eye open it took her a moment to focus on the fact there was a book in front of her and Cloud was holding it with the arm he'd slipped under her head and reading it over her shoulder. For some reason it made her exhale a laugh and she winced immediately and reached up to lay a hand over her chest. The first thing she realized was that she was wearing an oversized shirt and the second was that, under that, she could feel tight bandages wound around her from just under her arms all the way to her stomach. At her silent laugh, she felt Cloud shift behind her. Voice soft he stated:

"You can come over. It's okay."

"Hey, Tifa." It was Marlene's voice and Tifa opened her eyes to squint at her little sister.

"When did you eat last?" she asked and Marlene looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Denzel just went to go get us food."

"Come on," Tifa weakly patted the bed in front of her and Marlene hesitated, eyes shifting to Cloud. Tifa felt him nod and Marlene very carefully crawled up onto the bed. Tifa gave her a quiet smile.

"You can lay your head on my waist. I didn't get hurt there."

Marlene's eyes really did well up then and she pressed her face into Tifa's side as Cloud moved his arm to her hip and thigh. Tifa reached out and gently combed her fingers over Marlene's hair while her little sister silently cried.

"I must have been pretty bad, huh?" she asked softly and Marlene nodded against her, hands woven tight in the fabric of the oversized shirt and pants Tifa was in. Cloud's clothes.

"I must be a lot better now than."

Marlene made a gurgling noise and nodded her head but her tears, like her older sister's, never lasted long. Tifa heard the door open and turned her head to see Denzel, standing with huge eyes in the doorway. She gave him a smile and lifted her hand from Marlene's hair to hold it out to him.

"Don't bump my chest and you can come here too."

Whatever was on the tray ended up all over the floor as her little brother dropped it and bolted for her. But he was very careful as he crawled into the bed as well and laid his head on her side. Tifa's hand bumped Cloud's as they both reached to smooth down the little boy's hair at the same time. Cloud's retreated, but only far enough to spread over the top of Marlene's head. It made Tifa sigh, pleased, and she stroked Denzel's hair. Able to tell he hadn't washed it in a while.

"Does no one take care of you three when I'm not around?" she asked gently and got a grunt from both of the males. Denzel hadn't used to grunt in response. Apparently he was picking up habits. It made her smile and for a very long time they all stayed the way they were and it was healing and soothing.

"Showers," she finally decided though, gently patting first Denzel's head and then Marlene's. "You too, Strife. And on your way out send Aerith in. I want a bath too. And then I want to sit up and eat something and hear what's happened."

She loved her family. She loved Cloud. She loved being able to be snuggled close with everyone.

She hated the thought of being sick though. She just… she couldn't bear being an invalid. And she had a sneaking suspicion that she'd been one a lot longer than she was aware of.

It was time to stop.


	65. Chapter 65: Shinra Mansion

Chapter 65: Shinra Mansion

It wasn't as easy as that of course. Not by a long shot. No one wanted to leave her and she had to finally resort to The Glare to motivate people. In the end though, it was only her and Aerith and some lukewarm water that Tifa couldn't even get in a tub with because she wasn't supposed to get her chest wet. She couldn't bend over well either, so Aerith had to help her from the knees down and her back and shoulders. Basically anywhere she had to twist the muscles in her torso to reach. Aerith also washed her hair for her, understanding what a huge difference that made mentally to Tifa. Aerith didn't… _hover_ the way Cloud and her siblings did. It made it easier for Tifa to pretend things were normal with her.

"It's getting so long," Aerith commented as she slowly rinsed her friend's hair out. "Really. I've always been jealous of your hair but you're really trying to turn me green, aren't you?"

"Just haven't found time to get it cut," Tifa admitted, relaxing as her friend took care of her. Without pausing, so she didn't lose her nerve while she was still feeling brave thanks to Aerith's casual conversation, she simply asked:

"How bad is it?"

Aerith went quiet, which said a lot right there.

"It's going to scar. We tried everything. Materia. Potions. Nothing seemed to really work. Cloud says it's Sephiroth's sword. That it's mako engraved or something and so other forms of mako don't work against it."

Reaching up, Tifa gingerly traced a hand down over her bandaged chest. Stupidly relieved that she wasn't… lopsided at least. As much as her chest got in the way sometimes – and drew unwanted attention at times – she'd gotten used to it. She could have adjusted… she was just glad she hadn't had to. For a long moment she pressed her lips together.

"What were they doing to me? I woke up and Cloud was telling Leon that it made me scream. I – don't remember that."

Aerith made a noise that sounded pained and her hands began to gently twist Tifa's hair to wring the moisture out of it.

"We – there's – oh, fine. I don't even know where to start. They found the 'beast' in the Shinra mansion and he has some kind of flame he can create. Your wound… Tifa, it wasn't closing up. They had to sear it shut. It – it was the only thing that seemed to burn the mako poison out of the wound. When you didn't wake up afterward, they were afraid they hadn't gotten it all and might have to do it again."

"They… burned me shut?" Tifa asked, feeling suddenly sick and shaky.

"…oh…" Aerith sounded like she was going to cry and she laid her hand over Tifa's where Tifa had instinctively laid it over her chest. "I fixed it as best as I could. And the materia worked on it as well after that. It doesn't look bad, it really doesn't."

Tifa made a quiet sound and reached up with her other hand to peel the bandage away just a little. She smelled sharp ointment and fever and – burned skin… An angry red line started just above the curve of her left breast. Something in Tifa's mind automatically rejected the idea that it was a part of her. That it was her. Quick, she smoothed the bandage back into place. But she knew she wouldn't be all right until she saw all of it.

Idiot. She'd survived. Why was she worried about a scar?

She didn't ask about Zack and Red. Aerith hadn't mentioned them and she thought… she thought she'd rather think they were all right than hear otherwise just now.

Aerith helped her back into another set of Cloud's clothes and Tifa lowered her head to inhale the familiar scent of him on them. Then Aerith went and opened the door to let a bedraggled looking Marlene in to comb Tifa's hair while Aerith collected the sheets from the bed and put new ones on it. Tifa sat in the chair near it and shut her eyes as her little sister almost put her to sleep with her smooth brushing. Until the door opened and the men started to file in. And the first one she saw was –

"Red!" She was so relieved to see him that she almost got up to hug him before remembering how much it hurt to pull the skin that was tight across her chest. Aerith made a noise and gestured at the beast.

"He talks, Tifa," she stated and Tifa turned her head to look at her friend as if she was the one on medication. "He's been able to talk all along. He's the one that got us to take you here."

"Whoa," Tifa held up a hand as Denzel came in, as bedraggled looking as Marlene and moved silently over to take up a spot on the other side of his oldest sister. "Red talks? You talk?"

The giant furred head lowered and the golden eyes peered up at her, looking young and ashamed.

"Yes," his voice was a rumble, purr sound with a surprisingly refined edge to it. As if he pronounced his words very intentionally and concentrated on each sound. "I am sorry for deceiving you. It was for my own safety at first when I did not know you and after – it had just become a habit."

"Oh…" Tifa managed weakly. Searching frantically through her mind to figure out what she might have said in front of him that she hadn't thought could be repeated. Red looked as if he was expecting a scolding.

"We're in Cosmo Canyon, Teef," Aerith informed her. "Apparently it's where Red's people have always lived even though he's the only one left of them now. There's an old man here he calls 'grandfather' who did a lot to keep you alive until we could figure out how to heal you."

"I… thank you," Tifa managed and Red bowed his head low.

"You saved my life when you freed me from the Shinra cell. I was following you to try to repay the debt to you and Cloud Strife."

Tifa gave him a weak smile but meant it.

"I guess we're even now. Or I owe you."

Red shook his head, a human gesture that looked odd on him.

"No. They would have used me for experiments. And I have deceived you and taken advantage of your hospitality – I owe you a great deal still."

"I don't think – " Tifa started but he sat down on his haunches and looked very determined. She'd seen him with that look before.

"I insist."

"Okay?" Tifa asked and he looked satisfied and moved over to lie down near her.

"His first words were instructions on where to take you. You can imagine what that did to our already shot nerves," Leon said as he came the rest of the way into the room. He looked unsure as to how to approach her. Tifa held up her arms and told him.

"Hug. But gently."

He gave her an almost invisible smile that spoke volumes and moved quickly across the room to wrap her in his arms and press his face into her hair.

"Gaia… you scare me so bad, Tifa" his voice was rough and shaken. "All the time."

She tightened her hug.

"Sorry," she managed.

He held her for a long moment more and then drew away to cup her face in his hands and shake his head.

"I know – you don't do it on purpose." It was weakly teasing but it made her manage a smile for him all the same and he let go of her to walk over and lean on the wall near one of the wide windows.

Tifa didn't recognize the man that came into the room next and she just looked blankly at him. Thinking… she certainly hadn't met him before. It would be impossible to forget a man with long black hair and a nose high red ratty cape who moved like a shadow.

"This is Vincent," Leon introduced the man and it was obvious he hadn't decided on his opinion of the man yet. "He's the 'beast' we found at the mansion in Nibelheim."

Vincent swept an old fashioned courtly bow.

"I am glad you are feeling improved."

"Aerith told me that I have you to thank for that," Tifa managed. "So – thank you."

He lowered his head slightly again and said nothing else, moving over to stand near the door. He was even less talkative than Cloud apparently. That would be an interesting team.

Shera came in next and shut the door behind her. She didn't hesitate in going over to wrap her arms carefully around Tifa and hanging on. Tifa relaxed in the little woman's arms.

"We match now," Shera managed to joke weakly and Tifa exhaled a chuckle but it made her smile, really smile, and she touched the other woman's cheek.

"We do, don't we?" she managed. That's right, Shera had her own scar too. Somehow that made things feel better. She laughed quietly and hugged the other woman tighter even though it hurt a little. That was right. Scars happened in this line of work. And Shera was fine with hers. Tifa could be fine too.

"The Captain said to drink lots of tea," Shera instructed. "He doesn't do well in emotional situations so he's puttering around the airship acting busy."

Tifa thought Cid had probably phrased it a bit differently but that thought brought another smile of its own. She looked toward the door – but no one else was coming in. Feeling her heart starting to drop she asked carefully:

"Where's Zack?"

"On the Highwind," Aerith supplied but something in the way she said it had Tifa's stomach dropping horribly. She pressed her lips together and laid her hand over Marlene's where it was on the arm of her chair.

"Dead?" she finally managed to get out.

"No," Aerith said it and again, the way she said it didn't reassure the way the words should have. Tifa swallowed.

"How bad is he hurt?"

Sephiroth? Or her and her explosion? Aerith made a sound and seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

"He's fine," Leon supplied. "He's just dealing with some things we found in the Shinra mansion." After he paused, he added: "Cloud's with him."

Tifa nodded and looked at the group assembled in her room. Very deliberately she folded her hands in her lap.

"So what happened?" she asked cautiously. Leon looked over at Shera and so she pushed her glasses up on her nose. Tifa had a brief flashback to the basement in her old Seventh Heaven where everyone would let Shera do the lecturing on methods and equipment. It felt strangely reassuring.

"After we left you, we arrived at the Shinra mansion without any problems," the smaller woman began. "The place was a mess and full of monsters. Cloud and Leon had a fun time with those," Shera sounded slightly exasperated on the last sentence and it made Tifa smile. Cloud did enjoy his monster fights. It had surprised her too at the beginning – but now she kind of enjoyed them herself.

And she loved watching Cloud when he fought them.

"Cloud led us down into the basement." Shera's eyes went wide and a little horrified and Tifa had to remember that the other woman didn't know about Cloud's past the way the rest of them that had seen the lab in the reactor in Midgar suspected. "Tifa, it was terrible. There were test tubes that were person sized and tables with thick leather straps on them and these tiny little cells that you couldn't stand up straight or lay down flat in. There was a whole row of drawers for dead bodies but they all had locks on the outside of them."

Tifa's heart was starting to hurt again. How long had the man in Wutai said it had been since Cloud had returned to fight their monsters after the end of the Wutai War? Cloud had vanished right after the Wutai War – and Tifa thought that was when they had done – whatever they'd done to him. How many years had that been? Four, five? Had he been trapped in that – that dungeon for five years? Going through…

"And there were notes too. Just books and books of notes in this cramped, spidery handwriting." Shera, eyes still wide, shook her head. "We haven't had time to go through them all but… it was like a horrible mad scientist thing. I got sick reading just a little of it. No one even had names – they were all numbers and letters. And Shinra was paying for all of it!"

Shinra. It always came back to Shinra. Shinra and their horrible ability to ruin lives on a personal level when they were already destroying the entire world. Tifa reached out and took Shera's hand and the other woman squeezed it. Meeting her eyes, Tifa saw that the smaller woman had been thinking about Cloud too. She was surprised to see an angry, protective look behind those glasses as well as the horror of the discovery. If she hadn't adored Shera before, she would have with that. For such a strong, competent man Cloud seemed to have a way of bringing out the protective instinct in women.

"Well, we called the Captain right away," Shera's brows were down. "We decided to take everything with us. I was stacking books while the guys carried them upstairs and outside and I was all alone in the room when all of the sudden one of the dead boxes opened." Even now, Shera's fingers tightened on Tifa's in response and Tifa looked at her with wide eyes.

"I'm afraid I frightened her," Vincent spoke up from his place in the shadows and Tifa turned his head to look at him. He'd been – in one of the drawers for dead bodies? On purpose? His crimson eyes met hers across the room and she saw a challenge in them. It surprised her. Not because she didn't recognize what was in his eyes… but because she did.

"Well, the inn had burned down," she pointed out calmly. She knew that wasn't why he had been sleeping where he had. She had no idea why he'd been sleeping in what sounded like a house of horrors. That wasn't the point at the moment though. He was trying to bait her…

She'd lived with a little boy for most of his life. Having things done to 'shock' her had made her resort to responding calmly in sheer defense. The man across the room looked mildly amused at her answer and didn't offer anything else.

"So I screamed," Shera inserted, getting into her story now. "Cloud and Leon came tearing down the stairs ready to kill everything in the room with me." She broke off suddenly and turned to look hesitantly at Vincent. The man nodded and Shera turned her attention back on Tifa. "And – he – changed. Vincent. He grew horns and claws and this red mane. He turned into this – " She had to pause again trying to find a kind word for it and Leon simply supplied:

"Monster."

Vincent didn't react but Tifa caught the flash of his eyes to her again. And just like that, she thought she understood the strange, silent man just a little bit more. Cloud did his best to hide his 'difference'. Vincent seemed just as quietly intent on making a point of it. Both of reactions were defenses against that difference and Tifa understood it. She also refused to play along with either version. So she just nodded calmly and looked expectantly at Shera. Who was still wrestling with trying to find a better word but kept going anyway.

"Cloud flew into this absolute cold rage" Shera's hands gestured. "And said something about 'hojo'. And just like that Vincent shut off and turned back into – himself."

"I, too, have a debt to pay Hojo back for," the red-cloaked man murmured quietly from his corner.

"Hojo is the scientist that was in charge of the experiments," Shera explained and Tifa nodded slowly. It wasn't the first time she'd heard the name. And – if Aerith's father was right… there wasn't much of the man left to find and have revenge on anymore. She thought she'd keep that to herself for the moment though.

"Well, Vincent changed back," Shera picked up again, "and while Leon was talking to him, Cloud's cell phone rang. I have no idea who it was or what they said – "

"It was Zack. Don't know the rest," Leon supplied from where he was leaning against the wall.

"It was one word," Vincent supplied. "Sephiroth."

Shera looked a bit puzzled by the name. As if it should ring a bell for her but she couldn't quite place it yet. Head in her explosives and machines, Tifa wasn't surprised the other woman might not put martyr SOLDIERs high on her list of things to remember. It made Tifa hide a smile. Shera obviously corralled the name for later thought and went on with her story.

"Cloud went running up the stairs even faster than he came down them and yelling 'come on' to us like the building was going to explode. So we all went after him and he told the Captain to get us to the reactor on Mount Nibel and then he wouldn't say anything at all. Well, the Captain shot the ship forward and we got to Mount Nibel in time to see the entire top of it in flames and the Lifestream pouring out of the ground."

Tifa could only imagine how it must have looked.

"Cloud threw a rope over the side of the ship and dropped down right into the middle of all that chaos. Leon yelled at him that he was crazy – and went down the same rope. And Vincent went too."

That did draw a reaction from Tifa and she raised her head to look at the man. Who just shrugged a shoulder and stated:

"He said 'Sephiroth'." As if that was explanation enough. Maybe it was.

"Well, the Captain couldn't land the ship because there was no real room, so he dropped a ladder and me and Barrett and Aerith all climbed down. There was a guy there – "

"Van," Tifa named him, glad to hear she hadn't caught their guide in the explosion and Shera nodded.

"Yeah, Van. He said you and Zack and Red had gone in a while ago but that was all he really knew before everything just started exploding. Did I really put that much charge in the bombs?" Shera had to stop to ask and Tifa shook her head.

"I don't think so. But the air there was full of mako energy." Shera nodded.

"I was afraid that might short out your trigger. Did it set the bombs off early instead?"

Tifa just blinked at the other woman. And then it occurred to her – oh…

Oh.

Shera didn't seem to know that Tifa had set the explosions off intentionally while she was still in the reactor. It suddenly made Tifa wonder if anyone, other than Zack, knew. It made her wonder how much yelling would go on if they found out.

It wasn't as if she could let Shera feel guilty for what had happened either though…

"It wasn't the mako. I was carrying the trigger in my vest. And I fell down the stairs when…" she reached up and touched the center of her chest before she realized it. Living in the Lockhart house you learned that unless someone told the entire story, it was easy to misunderstand it. Shera's eyes softened and she pressed her glasses back up on her nose.

"Oh. I was so worried it was my fault. That I'd done something wrong again."

Tifa shook her head.

"It saved us, Shera. It wasn't your bomb that did this to me. Or Zack or Red. We wouldn't be alive if the explosions hadn't gone off."

Shera didn't look entirely satisfied but she nodded.

"Well, that's about all there is to tell anyway. The guys came back out with you and the others and then we came here."

Considering what the woman was skipping over – Tifa dying – Tifa wasn't going to press for more details. Instead she just nodded. Both Denzel and Marlene had moved close to rest their arms against hers as the story had gone on and Aerith had her hands on Tifa's shoulder. Tifa exhaled and gave Shera's hand a squeeze before making eye contact with the guys in the room.

"Wow," she finally managed.


	66. Chapter 66: Sex

_wow! all those delicious reviews. You guys are awesome! Oceanee, best beloved - wow, comments for each chapter! I giggled like a nutter. There's been some question as to the kids age simply because I made a mistake a while back - I'm going with 12 and 14, though with their lives they're a little bit older and younger inside than usual for those ages. And, kind of you to give them recovery time ;) Poor saps need it. skykhanhunter - yep, there he went. nemo - I'll try to catch it next time. And yeah, its come a lot farther than I intended. Weird ride. IWOBYD - isn't it though? only trouble can come of it, I'm sure :) Yuffie doesn't get much for the next couple of chapters but don't fear, she'll come into her own shortly. Jini - w00t! yep, I'm going to try to keep up the pace for a bit too so hang on! Cal - glad you liked the mix. Some things from the game just had to be kept even if I had to torque to suit, right? Ktisis - yeah, growing up's a bear. I'll tell you how it goes whenever I get done doing it - lol. And wow! what a GREAT review! I don't think I've ever gotten a 'what the crazies?' before. That made me grin like an idiot. So glad I'm keeping things jumping for you. And ah, I'm glad you liked Tifa's response. She just wouldn't give me anything else. She's never boring to write for. ah, best beloved demonegg - yeah, Tifa's a fangirl. She's so far over the moon for Cloud anyway, it gives me an excuse to write lines like that. And yeah, Cloud is a dunderhead but he's trying. He's very trying ;) He'll try a bit harder in the next couple of chapters too. Zack gets some answers too - and then again, maybe they aren't. Fairheartstrife - oh, best beloved, your reviews never fail to make me glow for days on end. I'm so pleased you find the characters so involving and that you gush about them so much just makes me want to write more to live up to that. Chapter 68 is for you :D best beloved Biskitty - so glad someone's giving Shera love for having Vincent scare the heebie-jeebies out of her! Yeah, she's having a rough couple of days with the males she's having to deal with. Poor Leon - he does need a fan club. I should let you take him home on the weekdays so he doesn't feel neglected. LOL - I think - with you calling Tifa easy - I'm going to dedicate this chapter to you. You and her both deserve it. awwww :'D - you make me happy. I'm so glad you hopped on for the ride. Pull up a comfy chair, I'll see if I can't live up to expectations. Dis - it would be a short story if Seph kicked it so early on, wouldn't it? We'll see. I'm doing my best to keep things guessing and yeah... my beta reader hates me for my cliffhangers. I get frying pan threats rather regularly. And speaking of which, thanks to Peek-chan for not braining any of the characters in these chapters even though I would swear I could hear the screaming all the way over here. zi-ling - hope things end up at least semi-sane for you eventually. We'll save you a chair._

_and now - the chapter I know you guys have all been waiting for..._

Chapter 66: Sex

Tifa would have liked to have been able to sort through everything she'd been told but by the end of the Shera's story she was tired again. It must have showed because everyone filed out with various farewells, Shera promising they wouldn't be far if she needed them. After that, Tifa was glad to crawl into a bed that smelled like clean sheets, finally feeling clean herself and snuggle down into the pillows. Denzel, Marlene and Aerith all joined her, piling carefully on to the bed around her and Tifa fell asleep surrounded by their warmth and their weight and the comforting smell of 'family' around her. At some point later on, she woke up briefly to inhale the wonderful smell of … Cloud… Somehow he'd fit himself into the bed with the rest of them and his solid steady warmth was against her back again. She recognized the weight of his arm over her waist and it made her smile as she slipped back into sleep.

When she woke up again, Cloud was gone and Denzel and Marlene were awake and whispering quietly to each other as they lay against her. Aerith slumbered in a ball against her back.

"Hey," Tifa whispered to her siblings and they immediately turned and burrowed close, big eyes lifting to find her face for reassurance and then relaxing. She gave them smiles and touched both of their cheeks.

"So," she asked softly, "what's this place like?"

She got a very quick run down of the place, full of details that were important to growing children and she doubted most of the adults would have noticed. Apparently, they'd been out and about a bit, when they could be persuaded from her side by Yuffie. After listening she decided she'd been in bed long enough and she very carefully sat up so that she wouldn't wake up Aerith. With a little bit of silent Lockhart communication, she ended up with her shoes on and her hair in a ponytail and silently followed her siblings out the door.

She wanted to – she _needed_ to do things on her own. Everyone had been vague on how long she'd been unconscious but she thought, from what no one was saying, that it had been a long time. Which meant other people had been taking care of her and while Tifa didn't mind that so much from time to time the thought of being an invalid had her heart rebelling in her chest.

As she walked, following her siblings confident direction, Tifa took the time to inhale deeply and look around at where they'd ended up. She wasn't sure why it was called Cosmo Canyon because, as far as she could tell, it was all built on the side of a mountain in the middle of a red desert. Most of the passages between buildings and even rooms were outside and everything seemed to be carved into the side of the mountain. The sun was hot and bright here and that felt good, especially against Tifa's chest but within a short time she found herself tiring. Nicely enough, the spot the kids had selected wasn't far from her room.

There was apparently an out of the way balcony of sorts around a bend in the path where someone had put chairs and a little awning of sorts. It was very roughly done but Tifa settled herself down in one of the chairs with a sigh and shut her eyes. Her chest didn't hurt as much today – the materia was apparently working now that it could – but she still felt weak.

The children had obviously been here before because they already had a stash hidden back in a natural shelf in the wall and Denzel brought her some water and dried fruit before settling down in a chair next to her himself and opening up an oatmeal bar while Marlene got a book out and settled back against Tifa's legs on the ground. Tifa exhaled deeply and started to relax. She didn't particularly enjoy being alone – but she did enjoy quiet, non-expectant times with just certain people. It gave her time to relax and settle herself inside. She shut her eyes and tipped her head back to rest against the back of the chair.

There was a little breeze, barely enough to even ruffle Tifa's hair and it brought her the scent of ancient sun-baked rock and dry dusty plants. Under the awning, the sun wasn't too hot but had a persistent heat that slowly baked its way into her bones. Sick for so long, the warmth felt good and clean. In the quiet she could hear the sound of Marlene's pages turning and farther away, barely on the edge of things, she could hear what she associated with people going about their lives. It was calming and relaxing. Denzel nudged her and she reached out a hand without opening her eyes to take one of the breakfast bars from him and eat it slowly.

"Cloud slept with us last night," Marlene finally spoke up and Tifa made a humming sound to show both that she knew and that she was listening. It was quiet for a long time and finally Marlene said:

"I like Cloud. Denzel does too."

Ahhh, Marlene was the elected spokesman than. It meant the children had something in mind and that they'd already discussed it among themselves.

"I like Cloud too," Tifa agreed mildly. There was a long pause.

"Do you want us to not sleep with you tonight?" Marlene asked and Tifa's eyes flew open.

"What?" it startled her and she looked down at her little sister, surprised to find Marlene looking so calm. Had she been very wrong in assuming her siblings would want to pile on with her for the rest of their lives after thinking they'd almost lost her such a short time ago? Sure, they were a little old for it – but so was Aerith. And Tifa for that matter. Marlene's brows came down, her 'adult' look and she looked seriously back up at Tifa.

"Well, Denzel and I were talking – and we thought, if you wanted, we could sleep somewhere else tonight." When Tifa just looked blankly at her, she added: "So you could sleep with Cloud. Alone."

Tifa blinked once. And then she blinked again. A horrible suspicion was starting to dawn on her.

"Alone?" she repeated carefully and Marlene nodded, refusing to back down. Next to them both, Denzel was starting to shift uncomfortably. It was on the tip of Tifa's tongue to corner her kid sister and ask exactly why she would think Tifa should sleep 'alone' with Cloud – but Tifa was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear the answer. Instead she shook her head.

"No, Marlene. I don't need to sleep alone with Cloud. We're not that way together."

"Duh," Marlene offered her observation and startled Tifa again before the little girl added: "But you could be. And then he'd stay and you'd be happy and he could always sleep with us."

It was so many mental jumps that Tifa shut her eyes and actually shook her head a little. Reaching up, she rubbed between her knit brows.

"That's not – that's not exactly how it works, Marlene," she began and Marlene sighed.

"Yes, it is. It happens that way all the time. Sometimes a LOT."

"Really?" Tifa opened her eyes to give her sister a horrified look. "How do you know that?" Marlene shrugged as Denzel made gurgling noises of horror.

"Mura's mom got a dad for Mura that way. They slept together and then he married her. And Ned's mom got him a new dad almost every year that way. But we don't want a lot of guys. We just want Cloud. Edi, she was two grades up from me, she said that guys wouldn't want to stay with you if you didn't sleep with them. But I don't think that's right because Cloud's stayed with you and so has Leon and Zack and Barrett and you're not sleeping with them."

Tifa reached over automatically and thumped Denzel on the back as he choked on his food. Marlene was on a real roll.

"Mrs. Neville who lived next door never slept with anyone and she was all alone. And I've heard some of the guys at the bar and they would say they'd like to sleep with you when they thought I couldn't hear them so I know its not like guys _don't_ want to sleep with you. You sleep with us and Aerith all the time and that's because we're a family and we're going to stay together forever. So maybe if you'd sleep with Cloud too than we could make him part of our family like Aerith and he wouldn't have to feel like he had to go away."

"Marlene – " Tifa started to protest, trying to sort through so much new information she wasn't sure where to start but Marlene kept going.

"And he kissed you this morning before he left while you were sleeping. And that's got to mean he wants to be a part of our family too, right? So you should sleep with him and then he'll know it's okay to stay."

There was a long pause after the tirade in which Marlene looked expectantly up at her and Tifa tried desperately to decide exactly what 'sleep with' meant in Marlene Speak. Because – half the time it sounded one way – and the other half of the time it sounded another and while technically they hadn't had The Talk yet, mostly because Marlene hadn't even showed any interest in boys yet – Tifa still knew that some kids that Marlene hung out with had probably already figured a few things out on their own…

A timely interruption by just about anyone at this moment would have been welcome but no one came strolling conveniently around the corner.

"Ah," Tifa began because Marlene was still watching her expectantly and she could sense Denzel's attention as well even though he was pretending to be engrossed in his bag of food. She exhaled.

"Oh boy. Okay. First of all, I never want you sleeping with a boy because you think it will make him stay. You shouldn't sleep with anyone that's not family."

Marlene made a face.

"You mean like sex," she stated and Tifa had to hit Denzel on the back again to keep him from choking and he hadn't even been eating anything that time. Marlene shrugged. "I guess you and Cloud could have sex too but sleeping together seems more important."

"Sex?" Tifa managed in a strangled voice and she wasn't sure if it was that Marlene was so casual or at the sudden thought of her and Cloud –

"Sure," Marlene shrugged. "Kissing in bed. You know, sex."

"Kissing in bed?" Tifa felt as if she was just on repeat. Marlene gave her a scowl as if expecting her to keep up.

"Yeah. Like in the movies and on TV. They always end up kissing in bed and then they wake up together the next morning and that's sex. Then they always live happily ever after but that's the movies and stuff and that's not real. Sex doesn't mean they'll stay. It's when they want to always fall asleep next to you and wake up the same way every day that means they'll stay."

Tifa blinked at the simple wisdom. Marlene was still going though.

"So you and Cloud can have sex if you want but we want him to stay so you've got to sleep with him."

"huh…" was about the extent Tifa could manage and Marlene looked calmly up at her. Next to them, Denzel muttered:

"I beat up the kids that try to tell her otherwise."

Tifa turned her head to look at him.

"Thank you," she told him sincerely and Denzel shrugged and went back to his food to hide his embarrassment.

"Yeah," Marlene agreed. "Some of the other kids have really disgusting ideas about what they think sex is."

"Wow," Tifa leaned forward to rest her face in her hands. All because Cloud had kissed her on the forehead when he'd gotten out of bed this morning. At least that's what she was assuming. She'd been asleep but where else would he have kissed her? Her cheek? Usually Cloud aimed for the forehead when his face was against hers. Or her throat but that made her stomach take a wild dip and she quickly concentrated back on what she was supposed to be thinking about.

Which wasn't kissing Cloud.

It was about sleeping with him.

A horrible thought washed over her and she asked:

"You haven't talked to Cloud about this, have you?"

"Of course not!" Marlene sounded insulted. "Edi says that guys aren't smart enough to figure these kinds of things out on their own so the women have to make up their minds for them."

Tifa made a mental note to make sure Marlene didn't hang out with Edi anymore – and then realized how pointless that mental note was.

"How about I think about it?" Tifa suggested and Marlene crossed her arms over her chest.

"But you like him. We know you do. And you're taking for-ev-er."

It made Tifa snort a laugh and she reached down to ruffle Marlene's hair.

"That's part of being an adult," she told her, much to Marlene's disgust. "And I want to do things right with Cloud. I don't want to hurt his heart."

What she didn't tell Marlene, couldn't tell Marlene because it hurt too much, was that Cloud didn't want to be a part of their family. Or rather – he wanted to be a part of someone else's family more. And it didn't matter if he slept with her family now or not – when the time came, he'd go back to the petite, auburn haired woman who had held his heart all along.


	67. Chapter 67: Pieces

Chapter 67: Pieces

Aerith did eventually show up but far too late to be any help at all in diverting Marlene's 'sex' talk. Tifa gave her a narrowed eyed look and got a vaguely puzzled one in return. Once the kids were gone, off to go get 'real' food for everyone, Tifa filled Aerith in on the conversation and her friend just about cracked her rib cage laughing so hard.

"It's not funny," Tifa protested and then had to admit. "Okay, so it is. But still – "

"Kissing in bed? Sleeping together? Wow," Aerith couldn't stop laughing long enough to get much more out and her face was starting to turn red. "How could you not let the kids tell Cloud that?"

"Aerith!" Tifa leaned over to hit her friend.

Aerith finally did manage to get herself under control and she pressed a hand to her side as she gave a gusty exhale.

"Wow," she repeated, shaking her head and Tifa rolled her eyes at her.

"Still…" Aerith was apparently going to be no help. "I could sleep somewhere else tonight…"

"Aerith!" Tifa hit her again.

"We could just get Marlene to explain things to Cloud. You know how she's so – "

"Explain what to me?"

Tifa didn't even turn her head when the low voice came from the curve in the trail that led to their resting spot. She didn't need to and there was no way she was going to let him see just how red her face had gone.

"Oh, Marlene was just explaining – "

"Aerith!" Tifa stressed the name in hissing syllables and her friend grinned.

"The concept of family to Tifa," the brunette finished beatifically.

"Mm," Cloud sounded noncommittal on whatever was really going on. Tifa turned to him with a bright smile.

"So were you coming to rescue me from my evil friend or were you looking for the kids?"

"You," he answered and something in his eyes and the way he said that single word had Tifa sitting up a bit straighter, brows starting to come down. He stayed where he was and she got the strange impression he was… hesitating. She met his eyes and he exhaled silently.

"It's Zack. Tifa – " the skin around Cloud's blue eyes tightened. "I think he needs you."

"Me?" Something in the way Cloud said it… He walked over and knelt down next to her chair, raising his eyes to hers and she saw something… old and haunted in them. He surprised her by reaching out and cupping the back of her bare calf in his hand. As if he wanted to reach for her but couldn't trust himself to take her hand.

Touching her hand might have been gentler on her nerves.

"You make us who we are," his voice was low and she heard pain at its edges. "You love us for who we are. Even if I'm not – me – your love makes it all right. Zack needs you to love him that way too."

She'd never seen pain like this in Cloud's blue eyes before. Not in all the time she'd known him and all the things they'd gone through. He looked like parts of his already fractured soul were shearing off and falling away even as she watched and she reached down and cupped his face with her hands.

"Cloud…?"

"Just come. I can show him how to live that way but I can't make it worth living. You do that. Please, Tifa. I can't lose him again."

"You don't even have to ask," she told him, leaning down to press her cheek against his. She didn't know exactly what was going on but something in her soul, deep and sinking, told her that they were finally unraveling the mystery of Zack and the answers weren't good. Whatever they were – they were tearing Cloud apart and that might have surprised her – if she hadn't already known how deeply he cared for the people he called his friends and how easily empathy for broken souls like his own came to him. His arms came up and pulled her down to him as he stood up at the same time, so that she ended up in his arms. She was perfectly capable of walking, the materia and potions were doing their job but something told her he needed to hold her. So she just wrapped her arms around his shoulders and looked over at Aerith, who looked worried but nodded. She'd look after Denzel and Marlene when they got back. Then Cloud was turning and striding back the way he'd come.

"Warn me?" Tifa asked and he inhaled and then exhaled slowly.

"I don't -" his voice held a young edge. "I don't think it's my place. It's – Zack's."

She nodded against him but she couldn't keep her fingers from weaving through the short hair at the back of his neck. She loved all her friends. They held places in her heart she couldn't begin to define or explain. But – the three of them – Zack and her and Cloud… There was something special about that group. Something precious and bonded and personal. Sometimes, to Tifa, it seemed they were all parts of one personality. And so when one of them hurt – it hurt the other two somewhere deep inside.

She wondered if this was how they had felt those first few terrible days after the fall of Sector Seven when she had been in so much pain or if this binding had come later than that in Costa del Sol and their travels beyond it.

He carried her to where the _Highwind_ was set down on the lee side of the mountain and he didn't set her down as he went up the ramp to it. Which made her really start to wonder how bad things were because Cloud liked to touch her when he was dealing with uncertainty and it would be hard for him to get her much closer to him than she already was.

Kissing in bed –

Crap! Marlene!

They ended up outside the briefing room and Cloud finally set her on her feet. She looked up at him and he gave one of his barely there nods. Then he reached out and pushed open the door.

Tifa wasn't sure what she'd expected to see but a destroyed library hadn't been part of it. That was what she was looking at though... stacks and stacks of notebooks in corners and spread across the wide table and on the floor. Some of them overlapped, open pages keeping open pages from losing their place. There was some kind of strange pattern to it, Tifa could tell that much even if she couldn't figure it out right away. The next thing she noticed was that there was dark tape up. She was just starting to try to figure that one out when next to her Cloud murmured:

"No reflective surfaces."

"Go away."

The tired voice came in response to Cloud's murmur. The lighting was dim in here, someone had taken out most of the light bulbs, but Tifa used the sound to find Zack.

He was sitting slumped forward on the ground, half hidden by a stack of notebooks. Hojo's notebooks, Tifa realized. Shera had mentioned those. She just hadn't expected – so many. Zack had his head down and his knees up. His long arms were loose and straight out, supported by his knees and all she could see with them in the way was his dark, feathery hair. Careful, she started to pick her way over the notebooks toward him. Cloud stayed by the door that he pulled shut.

"Zack?"

His head came up as if it were the heaviest thing in the world and in the dim light his sea green eyes glowed.

"Oh. Hey, Teef." All of the energy and the life she was so used to hearing in his voice had been replaced with something tired and dead. He gestured vaguely with a hand. "Pull up a spot of carpet. The company sucks but the reading's fascinating."

Tifa found herself a spot right next to him and sat down, scooting to get comfortable and resting the sides of her legs up against his side. He turned his head at the contact as if he was going to say something about it and then just let his head hang again. To anyone that didn't know him, this would have just seemed like a depressed Zack. Except – Zack didn't get depressed. At least not this way.

Zack didn't offer anything and so Tifa looked around at the notebooks scattered near him. The handwriting in all of them was the same, thin and crawling, like cobwebs. Was Cloud somewhere in all of these books? She wondered. How many other ruined lives were recorded here? And more – why was Zack going through them unless –

"Hey – " Zack's wide shoulder moved. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you. I've just – " the fingers of his hand moved to indicate the room. "I never did get a chance to thank you for trying to blow us both to hell."

That little spark of humor gave her hope and she hummed her chuckle. Then she scooted up a little more so they were shoulder to shoulder facing opposite ways and shifted, laying her head on his shoulder and leaning her side into his. Exhaling and settling in that way. For a long time, Zack didn't move except to breathe and their dark hair mingled across their arms and backs.

Tifa wasn't good with words. She knew she should be asking intelligent, insightful questions and doling out pearls of wisdom and comfort but her family communicated without words on the whole and being around Cloud hadn't helped her develop past that. So she just stayed the way she was in the silence and listened to Zack breath, his familiar darkly sunny smell in her nose. Finally he spoke up and his voice was soft.

"So – we figured out why I don't have a scar like Cloud and Aerith remember."

She made a soft humming noise and nodded against him without lifting her head. She didn't have to to know his smile was bitter and out of place on a face like his.

"Yeah. Turns out I'm dead." His head bobbed as he nodded. His hands moved in front of him. "Kind of."

Tifa heard Cloud shift from where he stood near the door.

"Kind of?" she asked softly and Zack snorted a bitter laugh that hurt her heart.

"Yeah, well, turns out I don't remember the things Cloud does 'cause I'm not Zack. Zack Fair died fighting Shinra troops. Looks like Hojo got a hold of his body afterward."

Tifa could almost feel the sudden wave of pain that came off of Cloud, even all the way across the room but she understood that, she thought, and so she concentrated on Zack. Scooting a little closer she shifted so she could lay her cheek against the side of the arm he had over the knee near her and look at the top of his head and the beginning curve of his ear.

"You're – the body?" she asked even though that didn't sound right. He'd mentioned the scar…

Zack made a choking noise and she realized he was laughing. Except she'd never heard Zack's laugh break before.

"Nah. Hojo was a mad scientist but not crazy enough to pull that one off. You know, those crazy rotting things we saw in the reactor – yeah, well, turns out – that's me." He tried to inflect humor into his voice but it only sounded wrong and lost. "Turns out Sephiroth was right on target with the things he said. Apparently Hojo was trying to create people. Those monsters we saw, those were his 'mistakes'. Looks like I must have gone through some kind of brainwashing to make me forget I'm supposed to be eating people and running around on all fours. I'd give you details but we haven't figured out which code represents me yet in the books." His voice went hollow and it hurt her heart to hear it. "I'm just supposed to think I was a SOLDIER. To think I was really Zack Fair." He exhaled and it was a terrible sound because it was hopeless. "Tifa…" his voice was soft. "Why couldn't you have killed us better?"

Tifa lowered her head, making him have to move his arms so she could bring it close to where his hung and she looked at him until he finally raised it his eyes to hers. Very, very softly she whispered:

"What? And leave Cloud alone?" Something in Zack's eyes wavered. "I mean, he might not miss you. But he'd miss me."

It wasn't at all the thing to say and yet, Zack's lips twitched on one side and his eyes held hers.

"He'd just be upset he got left behind and we went off and partied without him."

"He'd get sullen and withdrawn and grunt at people."

"He'd drink too much coffee."

"His hair would start to sag."

Zack made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snorted laugh that didn't quite make it out of his throat. His eyes held hers, desperately searching.

"He'd miss you," he said and Tifa gave him a soft smile.

"He'd miss us. I would too." Gentle she reached out and touched Zack's cheek, practically kneeling between his knees now.

"You remember when I said I got why he was in love with you?" Zack's voice was soft.

Tifa was very aware of the man standing silently by the door but she nodded.

"Yeah."

"I didn't get it. Not really." His eyes shifted and the color moved in them but they didn't leave hers. "I do now."


	68. Chapter 68: Priorities

_I had Angels and Airwaves' song 'Breathe' stuck in my head for this chapter (demonegg - I got this song stuck in my head during your story too)_. _Three guesses as to what Cloud almost told her... again._

Chapter 68: Priorities

Zack finally fell asleep in her arms.

He was still Zack. Tifa wasn't going to call him a different name. It was a little bit awkward holding him, because he was slumped forward and she was holding him against her chest and shoulder, but she would have held him all night long if it meant he finally slept. She had the distinct impression he hadn't lately. He reminded her of Denzel in a way, always pretending nothing was wrong and breaking and breaking and breaking inside.

She heard movement behind her and then felt Cloud. One of his long legs shifted to bracket either side of her as he sat down behind her and his hands found her shoulders. Gentle, he coaxed her back so she could rest with her back against his chest. It left him supporting both her and Zack and he leaned his arms forward so that they fell loosely over her shoulders and Zack's back. For a very long time they all stayed that way, Zack sleeping and Tifa and Cloud keeping silent watch. The two guarding the one. The same thing Cloud and Zack had done for her, the same thing she and Zack had done for Cloud. Tifa turned her head a little after a while so that she could rest her face against Cloud's throat and one of his hands moved, shifted to stroke over her hair and slide down her side to curl over her stomach. Which gave its funny little jump inside her at the heat of his hand there.

The man had no idea what he did to her.

"You're not," she whispered finally in the darkness and Cloud made a quiet sound to show he was listening.

"You're not from those pods. I saw. What was there wasn't human. It wasn't close to human. If you were both from those pods there would have been things that looked more like you there as well but there weren't."

"Tifa – "

"You're not, Cloud. I would love – I would love you and Zack if you had paws and fuzzy ears but you're not. Whatever was in those pods was Hojo trying to make things more human and less like monsters. He didn't have humans figured out or he wouldn't still be making monsters." Blind, her hand reached up and found the other side of Cloud's throat and she heard the way his lips parted to inhale as her fingers touched him.

"You and Zack weren't made in those pods. I don't know what those notebooks say but Hojo didn't make either of you. He couldn't have. Someone who does that kind of thing to others will never be able to figure out the things that make you and Zack who you are."

Cloud's head lowered so that it was closer to hers and he exhaled long and slow, she felt the movement of his chest against her back. His blue eyes were closed.

"Tifa, I do – " he stopped himself and she waited but he didn't say anything else. Gentle, she turned the fingers against his throat to brush his cheek.

"My Cloud," she whispered softly. "You will always be my Cloud."

His hand moved from her stomach and rose. He laid it over her chest and from any other man it would have been a grope. But he pressed his long fingers against her breastbone and the tips touched her collarbone and she suddenly realized what he was laying his hand over.

Her wound. Cloud was laying his hand over the exact path of her wound.

"My Tifa," his voice was low and throaty and she heard absolute iron under it. His head sank and he pressed his face into her shoulder. She barely heard his whisper.

"Mine."

It had her stomach going weightless and she felt weak. If Zack hadn't been there she might have melted. Or worse, turned her head and asked Cloud to kiss her again the way he had by the kitchen sink. As it was she was trapped between the two men and so moving wasn't an option. Which was just as well. Each day she got worse and worse at pretending she wasn't in love with Cloud Strife. She lay her hand over his where it rested warm and forgiving against her chest and shut her eyes, tilting her head to rest it against Cloud's. Slow, quiet, eventually she dozed off.

"Hey Teef?"

She woke up at the voice and made an answering sound to show she was listening before she even realized what was going on or remembered where she was.

"I think I need to get outside," Zack's voice whispered and she remembered and opened her eyes to see –

sunshine…

Reaching up she stroked Cloud's hair and wondered if he'd be able to straighten up after sleeping the way he was. They all were.

"Cause I'm thinking I need to burn these books and I'm thinking right now and so before I call up some fire materia I figure we should distract me. With food. And pretty girls. And maybe I'm going to go get drunk. But not set things on fire. Even though we should really burn these books."

"Okay," Tifa was active promptly, giving Cloud a nudge that had him sitting up with a jerked inhale.

"We're going outside now. We going to take Zack to the top of a mountain and push him off or something."

Cloud made a face and shifted backward and Tifa heard his joints crack. Zack sat up as well and turned his head until it cracked too. Then he stood up. It wasn't with his usual energy but at least it was standing and he offered down a hand to help Tifa haul herself to her feet. Then he offered one to Cloud who was absently rubbing feeling back into his left arm. Their eyes met, blue to violet.

"I owe you, man," Zack told the silent blond. "I'm not your friend, but you stood by me all these days anyway."

Cloud took his hand and stood up. When he was on his feet he held it still.

"You are my friend. He was too. I can have more than one friend." Cloud paused. "Even if this one annoys me more than the other one."

Despite himself, Zack smiled. Just a little but it was like watching someone whose legs had been broken starting to walk again. He hooked an arm over Tifa's shoulders and the other over Cloud's.

"You guys love me. I know 'cause you just included me in one of your marathon snuggle sessions. Come on, let's get something to eat."

Tifa went along with Zack, not at all sure she wanted to deal with what 'marathon snuggle sessions' meant. She didn't think she could handle another 'Marlene' talk right now. Without having to discuss it, they left the _Highwind_ and went up the trail to Cosmo Canyon. When they reached the main set of buildings however, Zack hesitated.

"I don't - really don't think I'm in the mood to see the others right now."

Cloud nodded and took the lead. Apparently he'd already scouted the town between sitting up with Tifa, watching over Zack, and making the kids want to adopt him. They ended up in a small, one room tavern where the bar took up most of the room and the tables for food seemed to be an afterthought. That was soon proved wrong though as they were brought out the most mouthwatering tasting pie of potatoes and meat and vegetables Tifa had possibly ever smelled. She actually felt liquid pool in her mouth as it was set in front of her and it made her wonder when the last time she ate – really ate, not just Denzel's stash – was. She tucked into her food as quickly as politely possible but apparently she wasn't the only one because the boys all but inhaled theirs.

"Don't suppose they've got anything strong enough here to get drunk on," Zack still had his plan in mind. For Tifa, Cloud explained:

"The mako. It helps your system burn off other poisons. Alcohol counted."

"So you've got to drink like a fish to get drunk and it doesn't usually last unless you've hit yourself with something really hard," Zack picked up. "For fun, when I was in SOLDIER – " he cut himself off abruptly and blinked. Looked back down at his almost empty plate and pushed it away. "Yeah, so, you can't really get drunk but your body doesn't count headaches from hangovers as poison so when you get those it's no help at all." Zack looked down at his hands for a long minute and then turned his attention on Cloud. Looking suddenly angry.

"How do you do it? How do you live with knowing you're not who you think you are? What do you do with all the memories?"

Cloud exhaled and looked down at his drink. His plate was already polished clean. After a pause, he started slowly:

"I trace back as far as I can that I know the memories are mine and I go forward from there. Everything I did while I was the me that I am now, that's what I call 'me'. Anything that happens in the fractured memories or before I – try not to think about all the memories from before that point."

His eyes lifted for a minute, concentrated blue, and met Tifa's. She had been a memory from 'before'. He hadn't avoided that.

Zack fisted his hands in front of him and rested his face against them, elbows on the tabletop. Brows down. Concentrating.

"I've got all the way back to the Shinra building in Midgar. I remember before that – working with the Turks in Mideel. I was in Junon…" Frustrated he shook his head. "Damn it, I can't – which memories are mine mixed in with the ones that aren't?"

Tifa reached over and touched his hand. Thoughtful.

"Cloud said your memories aren't like his, right? That you remember in a straight line while his are all fragmented. And you remember things that he doesn't. Maybe – maybe some of those memories really are yours?" She still didn't believe that either of them had come from tubes. Not because coming from tubes would make them monsters but because they were both too full and deep to have been born five or six or however many years ago. They acted like they'd lived long, hard lives already at their young age. She would expect someone just born, even with several years of experience to still feel – young. And even when Cloud felt young, a part of him still felt ancient.

Zack looked over at her, not sure if he wanted to hear what she was saying.

"Like – Kalm. You say you were born in Kalm. But the other Zack was born in Gongaga, right? So why do you remember being born in Kalm? Maybe you really were born in Kalm. It doesn't make sense that they'd brain wash you with the wrong information."

Zack frowned and pressed his chin into his fists. Thinking.

"I do remember Kalm. I remember having to climb up on a bench to look in a shop window. I remember – I remember which shop sold candy and that I got more when it was the little old lady than when it was the old man." He paused. Looked over at Cloud. Who silently shook his head. Apparently Zack-Fair had never mentioned those things to him. Which didn't mean much but it was a start. Zack frowned.

"But I look like him. I mean – Aerith almost passed out and Cloud almost killed me," he shot his friend a slanted look but Cloud seemed not to notice, pretending instead he was concentrating on working the feeling back into his left hand. Zack ran his fingers through his feathered black hair. "Unless he had a twin that was stolen at birth, it doesn't make sense that his exact duplicate would be wandering around on the other side of the world."

Tifa lifted a shoulder but her eyes were brighter. Because Zack's eyes were brighter.

"I don't know," she agreed. "But it's a start. Maybe if we went to Kalm we'd find some more pieces to the puzzle."

"Yeah!" Zack's energy levels were starting to rise again and his hand tightened around Tifa's that had been resting on it. Then he stopped and looked over at Cloud who'd been sitting silently. Serious, he asked: "What about Sephiroth? Did he survive the explosion?"

Cloud's blue eyes shifted over and he moved his head, a barely there shake.

"I don't know. Red – Nanaki's grandfather is supposed to be able to hear the planet. I was going to see if I could talk to him tomorrow."

Zack nodded.

"I'm going too then. I'll figure out who I really am – but if Sephiroth is still around, I've got a bit of payback first." His hand gave Tifa's a light squeeze and Cloud's eyes shifted for just a moment to her face as well.

"Yeah" the blond warrior agreed. "Me too."


	69. Chapter 69: Moonlight

_and now the moment you've all been waiting for... yep, Red talks a little bit more! 'Cause I'm sure that's what's going to be the big thing people notice in the next few chapters. Seriously though, hope everyone feels happy by the end of this spat of chapters. To my best beloveds - oceanee - awww, what awesome reviews! you can review every single chapter for the rest of time if you want, I LOVE the detail and emotion you put into them. Makes me grin like an idiot. And I'm glad you're of a mind with Tifa when it comes to the 'are they, aren't they?' about Zack and Cloud. It's one of the subtle points I'm enjoying being able to make. Cal - glad Marlene made you giggle, I almost popped a rib writing it because she kept saying things I wasn't expecting to come out. It was fun. And I'm glad you picked up on the minor Zack perhaps difference. It was intentional. Jini - awww, chapter 70 must be for you then. I'm so glad you're delving into the characters, I feel like I'm doing something right when a reader gets into the psychology of 'so and so'. I too love the team up of Zack, Tifa, and Cloud. I would love that opportunity in a game one day and they're a blast to write interaction-wise. You also nailed Tifa exactly and entirely on the nose with why she's so sure Cloud's in love with someone else. A-wesome! Dis - w00t! I'll break out the bubbly. I'm glad I've got you stumped, it means I'm doing something right! Or horribly, horribly wrong - lol. I'll do my best to keep things interesting. and - oh man, I laughed so hard at the image of Marlene with a projector and yard stick to 'explain' things to Tifa! That was GREAT! :'D - I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. Yep, the Zack that isn't Zack but might be Zack - don't worry, there's more to come. Just... not too soon ;) And yeah, go Denzel! Well, he IS an older brother. as well as - awwww, I'm so glad I'm doing well with Aerith. She's so abused or overused and even though she's not the main main character of the story I'm glad I'm not making her boring or trite. Fairheartstrife - I will simply say 'aye, aye, captain'. Seelenspiel - whee! so glad you're rocking the ride! Tell me if these next three make you happy. Biskitty - lol, the date at the Golden Saucer! That would be funny. come to think of it... they ARE going to the Golden Saucer about chapter 74.... OCV - hey, welcome to the ride! Pull up a chair and get comfy - we keep our snacks in the fridge. Sorry you're sick though - hope you feel better soon. I'll send you mental Florida orange juice to help, okay? And don't worry - Leon is Leon, not Squall. It would be way too hard to write for TWO guys that live entirely in their heads and manage to keep Tifa the slightest bit informed what was going on with them - lol. And yep - Paine! Great call. As a 'get well' note, I hope these next three chapters make you smile, cause that's the best medicine there is. demonegg- LOL - yeah, Tifa's got priorities. Those Lockhart siblings have to stick together. And - ehehehehee - 'promise' 'late'... yep, that's EXACTLY what Cloud was going to say ;) Cause he's Cloud and nothing's straightforward for him. Plushies - we're gonna be RICH! vx-luna-xv - I KNOW! I had no idea it would grow to this when I started. Kinda enjoying it though. I'm along for the ride as much as anyone else ;) Horky!!! - Horky! you're back! SO AWESOME!! heh heh - you liked 'nibelheim'. I had fun being boring with the title when you know everyone's going to skip up to the chapter titled 'sex'! And awww, thank you. I really do hope that I live up to expectations. I would hate to start off well and taper off at the end. And - there's lots more Tifa introversion (and distraction) ahead ;) so, gang - shall we?  
_

Chapter 69: Moonlight

Tifa had to tell Aerith. It was Zack's life and his decision who he told – but it was also the story of the man Aerith had loved – and for all Tifa could tell, might still love. It didn't seem right to leave her wondering. She didn't mention it to Zack but when he walked with her back to her room and Aerith was there with the children they exchanged looks and she knew he understood.

"Come on," he held out his arms and Marlene ran over with happy abandon to throw herself into them, already hopeless smitten with the dark haired charmer and it didn't matter what name he called himself Tifa thought. "Me and Cloud will take the kids down to the bonfire for a while. I hear they caught some rats in the desert and they're going to be roasting them over the fire tonight."

"Eww," Marlene's protest almost drowned out Denzel's:

"Na uh. Really? Cool!"

Zack gave Tifa a smile and a wink as Denzel trotted over to stand near Cloud and she made shooing motions at all of them and sent them on their way. When the door was closed she turned back to Aerith who was just finishing her nightly conversation with her father. Aerith took one look at her and folded her hands in her lap after she closed the PHS.

"Oh boy."

"Yeah," Tifa sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You told Cloud about the sex talk and he's decided to become a monk he's so scarred at the idea of little Marlene mentioning him and sex in the same sentence."

It made Tifa burst into laugher and she leaned over to throw her arms around her friend in a hug.

"No." Tifa softened. "It's about Zack."

Aerith drew in a deep breath and then nodded.

"Okay," she locked eyes with Tifa. "I thought so. Tell me."

So Tifa did. What they'd heard, what she suspected, what they'd talked about. She ran through it point by point for her friend and Aerith stayed silent and nodded from time to time. She saw the pain in her friend's eyes. She knew Aerith hadn't believed that Zack was her Zack but there had been that glimmer of hope at least and now it wasn't there. Aerith's Zack had died and this one wasn't hers at all. By the end of the story, Aerith's lips were very tight and the hands she had clasped in her lap were white knuckled but she nodded.

"Thank you," she managed quietly. "I – needed to know that."

Tifa felt miserable but somehow hugging didn't seem like what Aerith wanted right now. Quiet, her friend stood up.

"I – think I want to go be alone for a while. Okay?"

Tifa nodded. Understanding.

"Come back when you're done," she told the other woman. "We're family so Marlene says we have to sleep together and there's plenty of room for you and the kids on the bed."

Aerith gave a weak smile and leaned down to hug her friend briefly.

"I know."

After she left, Tifa sat on the edge of the bed for a while. Not thinking, just – letting everything settle itself inside and around her. Eventually, she got up with a sigh and went into the bathroom to draw a hot bath. Shutting and locking the door behind her, she sat on the edge of the tub while it filled and very slowly took off her shirt, or rather Cloud's shirt, even though it didn't smell like him anymore. Then she turned the water off and played with the bandages that covered her from collarbone to waist. Very slowly, very carefully, she started to peel them off and unwind them, heart feeling tighter and tighter the more she unwound. When she was finally naked from the waist up, she looked down. Reached up with a hand that wasn't entirely steady and touched where the long red scar started. For a second her breath caught and she felt a flash – felt that pain, that impossible pain, and remembered what choking on her own blood felt like. With a weak noise, she shook her head, surprised to find tears in her eyes. With the back of her hand, she wiped them away.

She'd survived. It was just a scar. Why did it make her feel so weak and like crying?

Quick, she slipped out of the rest of her clothes and stepped into the bath. The water was hot enough to make her hiss as she lowered herself into it, muscles that had cramped from holding Zack and sleeping awkwardly protesting as she lowered them into the heat. Laying her head back against the rim of the tub and resting her hands on its sides, she shut her eyes.

Her chest ached. Inside and out.

She stayed that way for a long time and finally ducked her head under the water and washed her hair. She rinsed herself off and washed her skin but she couldn't bring herself to touch the scar. Last night, Cloud's touch had accepted it. Tonight, she couldn't force hers to do the same.

Finally clean, she dried off and put on clean clothes. Her own. She wasn't an invalid anymore and she couldn't use that as the excuse to keep wearing Cloud's shirts. Especially when she knew he didn't have that many to start with. She picked up the bathroom and then picked up the main room, leaving the lights off and working by the bright moonlight that pooled in through the huge windows she'd left the curtains open on. Eventually she was satisfied – and a little bit more settled inside – and so she found a book and curled up on the bed, turning on just the tiny light next to her so that she could read. At some point, she dozed off and the next thing she was aware of was the sound of the door softly opening and shutting again.

She recognized the sounds of the footsteps however and so she left her eyes closed and stayed relaxed. Cloud's voice, just on the edge of her hearing, instructed the kids to get ready for bed and she heard the 'quiet' patter of their getting ready. She didn't hear Zack but she thought that if Cloud was here with the kids than the other man was somewhere and it was okay. She wondered how bad it had been for Cloud, dividing his time between his deathwatch over her and staying with Zack to keep the other man sane. Because Tifa had no doubt at all in her mind that finding out you were supposed to be a monster was enough to drive a man insane. Sometimes... it amazed her that Cloud had gone so long in his life thinking it and stayed as gentle and determined as he had.

Cloud's soft boot steps moved around the room, putting away the kids' things she guessed, and Tifa dozed lightly, content and soothed by the sounds around her. She heard the murmurs of her family and then felt the bed shift as Marlene and Denzel crawled into it with her. Her book was slipped out of her lax fingers and set aside and the gold light above her was switched off. She heard Cloud still quietly moving around the room and then, just as she was getting ready to really fall asleep again, his low voice above her.

"Make a hole."

Before she had time to puzzle over the words, the kids, already drowsy, were shifting to make room for him and to her surprise, Cloud carefully crawled into bed with them, settling down along Tifa's back and the weight of one of his arms settled over her waist. He smelled vaguely of wood smoke and under that clean wind and the faintest hint of lightening. She relaxed into his chest with a smile and felt his almost quiet exhaled chuckle. Without seeming to realize it, his thumb slipped under the hem of her shirt and brushed, calloused pad against the sensitive skin of her stomach.

"Go back to sleep," he murmured in her ear. The way he'd just made her stomach jump and the heat flush her skin, she wasn't sure she'd be able to but he didn't do more and in time the sounds of her siblings' breathing set her back to sleep.

She woke with a start some time later, unsure why her eyes had jerked open in the shadow and moonlight; just that she was suddenly wide-awake. Cloud's arm was still over her and she was cradled back against him. Marlene was curled up against her stomach and Denzel was probably on the other side of Cloud. It seemed they'd always slept this way.

Cloud was awake already as well and when he felt her body stiffen, his hand spread. A large, warm hand that had somehow in the night ended up under her shirt and spread across her stomach. Which, Tifa admitted to herself as she briefly shut her eyes at what that did to her nervous system, was definitely distracting her from whatever had woken her up.

Until she heard it again.

The barely there, whisper thin sounds of someone outside the door of her room. Someone… sniffing. And it wasn't the sounds of a human's quick inhales and short nose clearing exhales at all, yet somehow Tifa knew it wasn't Red. Cloud's hand tightened on her skin and she felt the pressure of his fingers. A quick glance showed his eyes were aqua and glowing in the dim light, narrow and fixed on the door. His voice came out and it was low and dangerous with a dark, throaty rumble under its surface. It elongated the warning.

"Vincent…"

The sound outside the door stopped. A pause. And then a sneeze. Something large and yet much lower to the ground than a human moved past the window, throwing its shadow across the curtains as it passed by and continued on. The children slept on in peace, blissfully unaware.

"Cloud?" Tifa whispered and he shook his head, other arm slipping under her to curl around her as well.

"Everyone's safe. He's interested in you and Aerith and I left Aerith with Zack."

She was getting used to him understanding her, so she wasn't surprised he'd answered the question she'd needed instead of the one most people would have assumed she was asking. But his answer brought up even more questions - which was another something he seemed very good at doing. And it would be easier to concentrate if his thumb wasn't rubbing absently against her stomach under the fabric of her shirt.

"You're soft," his murmur moved against her ear, sounding young and touched with just the hint of wonder. Answering what she hadn't asked again. His arms around her tightened to pull her closer back against him. "How can you be so soft? You're as tough as iron… but you're so soft."

"Cloud…" she managed weakly. Questions about Vincent and Aerith and Zack melting along with the rest of her brain. Even though she _knew_ they were really important questions to ask. He made a soft noise against her, wordlessly denying and when she started to shift so she could face him, his arms tightened and held her from moving.

"Don't," he whispered.

"Why?" she whispered back just as quietly and he shook his head but she felt the tension in his body and in his arms and hands as they held her and stayed still on her. Something was wrong – and she didn't know what.

"Cloud…?"

"Tifa…" his voice was an exhale and it held bottomless unspoken words in its depths. "…don't…"

Really worried now and forgetting entirely about anything outside her door, she shifted against him. His arms were like iron but he wasn't willing to hurt her and so she managed to roll over to face him. She was very aware of how intimately it brought their bodies together but she forced herself to concentrate on his face. On the glowing concentrated blue of his eyes that were watching her as if he were memorizing something he was going to lose. Concerned, she reached up and slipped her fingers down his cheek. For a moment, his eyes lidded and it almost hid the flash of pain she saw in them.

"Tifa…" her name was a warning.

"Cloud…" she repeated in the same tone because he wasn't telling her what was wrong and she wasn't going to play games about it. It made the edges of his lips curve and he exhaled an almost silent sound. When his eyes opened again they were bottomless and the most amazing jewel blue Tifa had ever seen. She thought they glowed because he had light inside him.

"I shouldn't... Tifa – I just shouldn't."

She had no idea what he was talking about, just that his voice was starting to sink into her skin and it didn't sound very sure. He was fighting something, and not very well. She could tell that and could also tell it wasn't at all like that night in Nibelheim. This seemed much less violent in him and much deeper. But it was causing him pain, she could see that in his eyes. Something so old and worn and lost that it – she thought it was a part of him. Or had been for a very long time. Wanting to make it better, easier – wanting him to not break her heart with what she saw in his eyes, she reached up and tenderly brushed the hair back from his forehead.

"Chocobo Head," she teased affectionately and his eyes softened and yet went somehow an even more full blue. One of his hands found her face and cupped her cheek.

"My Tifa," he murmured and it held an entire world in it. And then he lowered his head and covered her lips softly with his.


	70. Chapter 70: Pack Mentality

Chapter 70: Pack Mentality

It wasn't at all like the first kiss they'd shared. Somehow – it was even more intent and yet softer and fuller at the same time. Tifa's eyes lidded as if she were sinking and her lips softened for his as if they'd been waiting for his mouth to come back to them all along. Because they had.

She had.

His own lips were soft as well and they moved slow this time. Tender and caressive. Cherishing. As if they had all night. As if he was going to go on kissing her all night long. Tifa melted into that and her arms came up and wound around his shoulders. He kept one arm around her to hold her gently close but his other hand moved. Stroked her cheek, the curve of her shoulder, before slipping backward to brush through her hair and cradle the back of her head.

There was a wonderful warm ache that had started in the center of her and was spreading as slow and lazy as his kisses throughout her entire body and Tifa made a soft sound. She felt him smile at it and his lips rewarded her slip, rubbing soft and tender against her bottom lip and it drew an almost silent laugh out of her. His lips smiled again and the kisses went playful then without losing even the whisper of his pure tenderness. His lips left hers for a moment as they both shared an inhale and she opened her eyes just a little to see the blue of his watching her face and she thought – her lips shifted into a soft smile and she reached out to touch his cheek. She'd never seen him so entirely at peace before. And then something flickered through his eyes as they met hers.

Pain?

"Cloud…" she whispered his name and he lowered his head back to hers. But his eyes didn't leave hers.

"Tell me 'not Zack'."

It made her lips shift into a soft smile.

"Not Zack," she told him softly. His eyes moved over her face in the moonlight and then moved back to met hers and she saw the skin was tight around their edges. His voice was harder, rougher but still just as quiet.

"Tell me 'not Leon'."

She felt the way her heart constricted.

"Not Leon," she told him, reaching up to slip her fingers down the side of his face. She saw the war in his eyes. His belief in her, his trust in her – and what he'd thought was a sure fact. Gentle, she tugged a lock of his unruly pale hair. Shook her head as she held his eyes.

"Not Leon," she repeated. And then smiled in a flash. "And not Barrett or Cid or Red either."

It made the edges of Cloud's lips jerk upward and the skin around the edges of his eyes wrinkled in laughter instead of pain. She could taste the silent laughter on his lips when he kissed her again and both of his arms went around her to hold her closer against him.

"You let Red sleep with you," he grumbled softly against her mouth as he kissed her again.

Her quiet laughter poured into him as their mouths met.

"I like chocobos better," she teased and he had to pull away for a moment to press his face against her throat to stifle his laughter so it wouldn't wake up the children. Tifa wound her arms around him and tangled her fingers in his soft hair and couldn't seem to stop smiling. She could feel the laughter bubbling through her blood, the pure joy of it. Cloud's mouth found hers again and she sank into him and the wonderful things he did to her, body and soul.

But she wasn't brave enough to ask about Cissnei.

They did eventually fall asleep, soft slipping kisses, bodies cuddled together, Tifa's long hair tangled over both of them, Cloud's hands under the hem of her shirt so they could spread across the skin of her back.

When Tifa woke up in the morning he was gone but the bed was still warm where he had been and she shifted into it to press her face there and inhale the clean, sharp smell of him. She was smiling and couldn't seem to help herself. Her fingertips touched her lips and felt the way they still tingled and it made her smile even more. Last night –

It made her face flush with heat and yet she felt like singing and dancing around the room. Instead she slipped quietly out of the bed, getting grumbles from her siblings and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. When she came back out she was blushing because her lips had more color than usual but she hoped no one would notice. She wanted to hold last night to her heart a little while longer and just savor it all by herself.

But it did make her think of Aerith and she noticed that her friend wasn't in the room and probably hadn't come back last night either. Cloud had said she was with Zack? Had she spent the entire night or had she slept elsewhere? It was a little soothing to hear she'd been with Zack. It showed Aerith wasn't throwing herself off a cliff in despair or hiding in a dark closet. Neither of which were typical Aerith reactions anyway.

Tifa let herself out of the room, thinking she'd give the children more time to sleep in and then she paused outside her door. Remembering - belated and what was wrong with her? – about the sniffing outside the door last night. Eyes flickering a bit wider as it registered, she turned without thinking and found herself staring into crimson colored eyes.

Vincent.

Her eyes narrowed in automatic reaction to being between him and the children and the red in his eyes glinted like embers as he smiled. And he wasn't smiling at her fear because she wasn't afraid, she was getting ready to kick his ass and he knew it. His eyes lidded.

"I don't hurt children," his voice was a low, rough whisper.

"Only a coward would," she answered back levelly and his eyes flicked up to hers. She saw the approval in them. He knew she was making it hard for him to attack the children without being called what no man would let himself be called.

"Little wonder…" he murmured to himself.

"Move along, mutt," the voice came from behind the dark cloaked man and it was low to the ground and with a distinctive rumble to its carefully enunciated words. "The woman and I have business together."

Vincent turned his head just a little to look over his shoulder. He made a soft sound in his throat. Then he turned his attention back to Tifa and gave her a small bow. She got the distinct impression he was silently laughing to himself before he moved past her and further up the path. Tifa turned her head to see Nanaki and she went down to her heels the way she always did for him. He came solemnly forward and she ruined it for him by reached out and scrubbing her fingers over the side of his cheek where she knew he liked to be scratched. Then she turned her attention to the now empty path that led further up the mountain.

"Should I be worried about him?" she asked and Nanaki sat down next to her where she could wrap a companionable arm around him. Instead of answering, he opinioned:

"You smell of Strife."

It brought the blush back to her cheeks and Nanaki snorted a sound through his muzzle and was simply Red again.

"You often smell of Strife, Tifa. He enjoys leaving his scent on your skin."

She shut her eyes and made a noise.

"Are you sure we can't act like I don't know you can talk?" she asked and he woofed a laugh and shifted as she settled down to sit on the step of the door to rest his chin on her thigh so she could comb her fingers through his fur.

"You will not have to fear the beast," he told her, slitting his golden eyes in pleasure as her fingers scratched automatically at the base of his crest. "He will cause problems for Strife and perhaps Leonhart. You and the flower female he will simply test."

"Should we have not brought him along?" she asked, even though she hadn't actually been there when the decision had been made. Red moved his shoulders in a strange copy of a human shrug.

"He is a powerful ally. Once he has found his place in the pack, he will be useful. Unless Strife or Leonhart are forced to drive him out."

Tifa smiled and looked down at the animal by her side.

"We're not exactly a pack, Red."

One of his golden eyes opened and he waited until she started scratching his fur again to comment:

"You are close enough. And he is beast enough that he recognizes it. You humans have confused things and he will test things out until he works out the structure. His human mind tells him that Leonhart is the pack leader but his animal tells him that Strife is. He is an outcast and so if he is to be a part of your pack he must find his place in it which means he must know who he will follow – or challenge for dominance."

"You make him sound more like a wolf than a person, Red," she chided and he gave her a look at the irony. She exhaled a laugh.

"Yes, but you never challenged Cloud."

"I owe he, and you, a debt. That can only be paid by serving. And I do not have what is necessary to bind your people together. Even if I could defeat one of your leaders, it would change nothing." He exhaled with pleasure as she found a spot with her nails that must have itched. "Until the beast knows he is not stronger, he will continue to test you."

"Me?" Tifa asked, because she was pretty sure they'd been talking about pack leaders and she was also pretty sure she didn't come close to qualifying. Red exhaled a quietly rumbling noise.

"You are our den mother, Tifa Lockhart. You are the dominant female and in the beast world you must belong to the pack leader or he will not stay pack leader long. If you had chosen Leonhart, he would be the undisputed leader of your group but you chose the rouge male. The unit you bring to support Strife is stronger too than Leonhart's. It is loyal to you and him first and follows Leonhart only because the two of you chose to."

"Uh – " Tifa managed and Red shook his fur and shifted so Tifa could reach a different part of him.

"If Valentine would challenge your leader, he would need to know where you stand and if you would join him if he won. He cannot decide if he wishes you to be his mate or his den mother. The beast inside him will push him to be near you because it must have one or the other. His beast will also smell Strife on you. Until he defeats Strife, he will not bother you because he recognizes you are the core of the pack and he will find himself cast out again if he does. The others will not tolerate it. And I think his beast, and perhaps the man, are tired of being outcast. Besides," Red shut his eyes and relaxed against Tifa's side. "He is not strong enough to defeat Strife. Valentine does not have the determination to be pack leader that Strife has buried inside himself."

Tifa sat in silence and digested Red's explanation. In a very strange way – it did make sense. She wasn't sure if she was comfortable with that fact but a great deal of it was easier to understand now at least. And – he was right. Cloud was the leader of the group as much as Leon was. Partially because at least half of their group had known Cloud either starting at the same time or before Leon. But, more than that, Red was right. Cloud had something inside him that made people want to follow him. He never did anything to ask for it or encourage it – he'd certainly never challenged Leon or anything like that. In fact, the more she thought about it, Cloud never challenged anyone. Instead he seemed almost indifferent to leadership structures – and, thinking back, on the times they'd challenged him, he'd tended to act as if he didn't even notice. Cloud had no problem following Leon's lead but he only did it in passing and it never actually seemed to cede authority over Cloud to Leon. Tifa… liked that. She liked the lack of macho showiness she saw so often working at the bar. Cloud never bragged about what he could or would do – he just did it. Silent and competent and then he moved on. Tifa thought, even if she hadn't been in love with him, she would have found that comforting.

"What about Aerith? You said that he would bother me and Aerith. And Cloud said the same thing last night too."

Red kept his eyes shut in relaxation.

"She is the other female of the group. If Valentine replaces Strife and you would not accept him, he would have to substitute her for you as den mother and see if the others would accept it. His beast will test her to see if she would join him. But more – she is magic. Anyone with ties to this planet can feel her, smell her, taste her in the air when she is near. She makes my skin tingle, like ants, when she touches me but I want it when she does not. He will feel it too. The desire to be near her, to feel that whisper from the planet against his soul. He will bother her least of all because her moods change the way the air feels against your ears."

"Huh," Tifa managed, filtering all of that through her head. To her, Aerith just felt like… Aerith. The way she always had. Tifa stood up, careful not to disturb Red and dusted off her pants.

"Will you watch over the kids for me? I'm going to go see if I can find the others."

"They are with my grandfather," Red answered. "They told me to come fetch you."

Tifa gave him a look and he pretended not to know.

"Follow the trail to the top of the mountain," he told her instead.


	71. Chapter 71: Top of the Mountain

_ps - I forgot to once again, thank Peek-chan for her awesome editing job. The horror of my comma usage or lack thereof... ;)  
_

Chapter 71: Top of the Mountain

Tifa followed the path all the way to the top of the mountain and the exercise felt good after she'd been immobile for however long it had been. By the time she got to the top she was feeling cheerful – well, frankly, it was repressed giddiness. Somehow, all those crazy soaring emotions of her teenage years that she'd missed entirely in exchange for her father's sickness worsening and finding herself the only parent for both herself and her siblings had all come home to her now and were running amuck inside her heart. With them though came the uncertainty.

Cloud hadn't been there when she'd woken up. What if last night had just been… for last night? Or what if it was only when he was with her alone? He wasn't a demonstrative man and she usually appreciated that but how was she supposed to know how to act around him today? In the daylight? In front of their friends? How was she supposed to know if last night had been just for then or if he'd meant more?

The trip up the last bit of the mountain was as rugged on the inside of her heart as it was on the mountain path she had to pick her way up. Finally she locked her head down over her heart and gave it a firm shake. Why didn't she just mutilate a flower with her 'he loves me, he loves me not' worries? It would be faster. With a low sound at herself, she focused on what was ahead of her. She'd deal with Cloud – and whatever _that_ meant – when she got to him.

There was an odd, round little house half set in the mountain's very top and its roof was a round dome of what Tifa could only guess was an observatory of some sort. She knocked on the door of the adobe house and heard a call from inside to let herself in. Stepping in to the pleasant cool of the house, her eyes adjusted to the dimmer interior after the blatant sunshine of outside and she pulled the door shut behind her. Her eyes moved over the room in quick brush, seeing others – but all that registered was Cloud. He was standing in the earthy curve of an archway into another room past the sitting room she was standing in. Sunshine hair and dark clothes and his eyes were the bluest blue a sky could hold and fixed on her.

Despite her best intentions, her lips curved for him shyly and she felt heat spread over her cheeks and hoped that the climb had already flushed them so it wouldn't be obvious. The edges of his own lips twitched as if he were fighting a full smile and she saw how young his eyes were before they softened. Thought – perhaps – she saw the same nerves in his eyes that she'd felt in her own stomach the walk up here.

It made her smile even wider and for just a moment, his own teeth showed in a goofy grin.

"oh – oh wow!" Aerith's voice broke the moment. "Oh – you guys finally – oh wow! Oh – Wow!" Tifa was just turning her head to look when her friend tackled her in a hug. "Oh, you two finally figured it out! Oh, wow! Yeah!" she cheered as she hugged Tifa hard again. "Zack said you never would but I knew it, I knew it," she was practically singing and Tifa hugged her back, feeling her cheeks flaming.

"Aerith," she begged and her friend just grinned and then flounced back over to the armchair she was surprisingly sharing with Zack. Or rather, Zack was sitting in the seat grinning like an idiot himself and Aerith went back to perch on the arm of it.

"'Bout freaking time!" Zack put in his two gil's worth of opinion. Tifa spread her fingers over her face.

"Please stop," she begged, torn between laughing and simply melting in embarrassment. Then she felt a hand close over her other one and knew, even before she lifted her head, that it was Cloud. His cheeks were the slightest bit pink as well but his eyes were full of light and blue.

"Ignore them," he tugged her back over to the corner he'd been in as she'd come in the door. "They're idiots."

Settling back against the wall he drew her close so that she could shelter against his side and his arm slipped gently around her waist though she felt the way his thumb slid over her hip before his hand settled loosely over her stomach. He nodded at someone Tifa hadn't even had time to notice and be embarrassed by yet and said:

"Go on."

"Oh, but this is much more interesting," the tiny round man said with a friendly smile. "My grandson told me all about your group. You must be the woman that rescued him along with Cloud here from Shinra. Hoo hoo hoo, I can't thank you enough or tell you what he means to the entire Canyon. He may very well be the last of his kind and more than that, I love him deeply."

"Tifa, this is Bugenhagen. He's in charge of the observatory here. He helped us keep you alive," only Tifa felt the way Cloud's hand tightened on her as he said it. "And he's the one I told you could hear the planet."

Tifa looked over into the pleased, wrinkled face and gave him a smile.

"I... 'thank you' sounds like such a small word."

"Well, we've both said it now so it will have to do," the old man smiled back and then turned his attention on everyone. "And I can't truly hear the planet. Not the way our Cetra here can." He gave Aerith a gentle smile. "But I can hear its pain and its joy. And, perhaps, I can help our Cetra hear its voice. If you'll come with me, I'll take you up to the observatory."

Everyone stood up and followed the old man deeper into his house, through the arch Cloud had been standing under, and Aerith made happy, cheerful noises as she passed Cloud and Tifa on the way out, green eyes alive with light. Zack just shook his head and followed her out. Tifa started to and Cloud's arm tightened around her to stop her.

"Wait," his voice was soft and she turned her head to look up at him in question. Zack went through the arch and then Cloud turned and swiftly lowered his head. His lips brushed Tifa's and he made a soft, throaty sound of relief and pleasure. It made her smile against his mouth and as if that were the breaking point for him, his mouth sealed more completely over hers. Tifa found herself pressed between his warmth and the sandstone wall behind her, his hands and forearms flat against its rough surface as he kissed her. A sound escaped her and she locked her hands behind her back to keep from wrapping them around him. It didn't work exactly however because as soon as the sound left her lips he stepped closer, lips still on hers. Kissing her as if he never had any intention of stopping and Tifa thought that sounded like a really good idea.

"Hey, kids!" It was Zack's voice as he stuck his head back into the room. "You're holding up the tour group. Psft," he blew out a breath as Cloud pulled his head back from Tifa, both of them breathing unsteady – and smiling like idiots at each other. "Teenagers, I swear," Zack announced as he disappeared through the arch again. Cloud tucked his lower lip into his mouth for a moment and then, one edge of his lips up and crooked, blue eyes alive with life and laughter, took Tifa's hand and led her into the other room.

Tifa could swear that Aerith was cackling.

It made her cheeks pink and yet she couldn't regret what had made her embarrassed at all. Bugenhagen was smiling cheerfully.

"My grandson did mention that the two of you tended to need time alone together after you'd been apart," he commented, eyes twinkling behind the wrinkles of his face. "Perhaps I should just show the Cetra and her friend now and come back for the two of you later?"

"No," Cloud shook his head and refused to let go of Tifa's hand despite the attention. He turned his head and looked at Tifa. Apparently deciding to take the fuel out of their friends' fire. "We've got the rest of the day to be alone together. We'll see your observatory now."

"Told you," Zack triumphed to Aerith and she gave his shoulder a push as she rolled her eyes at him. Tifa blinked. Was Aerith… flirting? With Zack?

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, this way then," Bugenhagen trundled out of the kitchen/dining room they'd found themselves in and through a much more solid and secure looking door. Aerith followed him and the rest of them fell in line behind her.

The room turned out to be little more than a round platform and once everyone was on it, it rose smoothly upward into the room with a round roof that was completely dark. Cloud's fingers wound comfortingly through hers and she gave him a smile in the dark she knew he could see.

"Stand still for a moment while I call things up," Bugenhagen's voice came in the dark.

"No sneaking kisses," Zack teased and Aerith piped up with a cheerful:

"Ignore him. Go ahead and kiss!"

Cloud apparently took that as permission because Tifa found herself pulled into his arms and his mouth was over hers again before she could decide whether to blush or try to hit one of her supposed 'friends'. And then both options, and the rest of her thought process, melted into nothing as Cloud's lips moved over hers. She melted too, hands tangling in the fabric of his shirt, body relaxing completely into his.

"That was a kissing sigh, wasn't it?" Zack asked and Aerith giggled.

'…oh…' Tifa thought. Cloud was a good kisser. A really good kisser. Especially since he seemed to be learning as he went and he was learning what turned her knees into jelly pretty quickly. With a last brush, Cloud's mouth left hers and a moment later she was aware that there was a dim light starting to slowly come up around them. As if Cloud's kisses hadn't been enough to take her breath away, what she saw spreading out around her would have been.

It was the night sky. The very same one she'd found so much pleasure and comfort in during their travels. Except there was no earth below her. It was all stars, all around her, as if she were a star herself. Planets whirled past her, comets and asteroids and Tifa curled her hands against Cloud's chest and simply stared wide-eyed at it all.

"It's beautiful," she finally managed, voice hushed and awed.

Bugenhagen nodded.

"That it is, my dear. That it most certainly is." He did something with his fingers in the empty air in front of him and slowly one of the planets left its orbit around a golden sun and came closer, growing as it neared.

"Gaia…" Aerith whispered and there was so much love in her voice that it made Tifa smile and she rested her head on Cloud's shoulder so she could watch her friend. Aerith stepped closer to the green and blue planet and reached out with one of her beautiful hands to brush lightly against its surface. Green tendrils curled out of it to brush over her fingers in strands.

"Yes," Bugenhagen agreed. "Gaia. Our world. Precious and special among all other planets because under its skin flows the Lifestream. Our planet has a soul and so it has a voice. Like the parts of our own body, each one is different and serves its own purpose and yet all of them, together, make one great creation." He drifted closer to the planet and gazed up at it as well as the strands of green began to slip out from the interior and expand to flow like rivers over the surface of the planet. Tifa watched in amazement, tucked safe in Cloud's arms.

"Once upon a time, long, long ago, everyone could hear the voice of the planet," Bugenhagen shook his head sadly, "but that time is gone. Now we stumble across its surface all of our lives, not even aware of its whispers. Except for you," he turned his head to look at Aerith, who was still standing entranced as the currents of green flowed over her palm. "You have heard it your whole life, haven't you?"

Aerith nodded.

"As long as I can remember. My mother always said it was a gift and that one day she'd teach me how to speak back. But she died before she could."

Tifa gave Cloud a gentle squeeze and then slipped out of his arms to walk over to stand behind Aerith. She put her arms around her friend, resting her chin over Aerith's shoulder. Aerith leaned back into her a little with a soft smile.

"It's okay," the brunette whispered. "It's just – it's always just on the edge of my ears. As if someone's calling me but they're too far away from me to really hear them. It's so – frustrating. I know it wants to tell me things but I can't understand it."

"Cosmo Canyon is a special place for Gaia," Bugenhagen stated calmly. "Legend has it that it is the center of the world and that here was the first place the Ancients touched the soul of the planet and heard its voice. Long before me, this observatory was built to watch the sky above but also to listen to the planet below. A giant funnel to concentrate the sounds of the planet and amplify them. Amplify them enough so that even someone like me can hear what the planet says." He turned toward Aerith.

"I can open that funnel's end, if you like. Let you hear what I hear when I come here but with your much more sensitive Cetra ears." He paused and his wrinkled face was serious. "I don't know what it will sound like to you though. In my life, there has never been an Ancient here to do this before." He drifted over to look at Aerith. "I'm not sure it's entirely safe for you, my dear."

Aerith smiled.

"Everyone else is so busy fighting monsters and Shinra and even Jenova and I've felt so useless because I can't really do any of that." She reached down and gently squeezed Tifa's hand and Tifa opened her fingers so they could link up that way. "This is finally something I can do to help." She nodded. "I want to hear what's been whispered and cried to me all of my life. I want to finally understand what it's saying." She pulled in a deep breath. "I want to know what my mother heard. Please," she looked at the old man. "Open it."

With a nod, Bugenhagen gestured with his hand again. And the green and gold and blue planet expanded until it seemed to swallow them all into its core.


	72. Chapter 72: A Team

_wow! so many reviews I'm beaming! Right to it then - Jini! I will take those hugs, thank you very much. And I'm glad you're enjoying the fluff. Once I let Cloud start he just wouldn't stop. Not that I hear Tifa complaining and I'm glad you appreciated both his uncertainty and Tifa's vulnerability with her scar. I think it's the little bits that make characters 'human' and worth reading and I'm glad they're coming across right. And Vincent will definitely have a part to play (or two). Dis - LOL - yes, Aeris did something, and will do something more no less ;) And Red just went off on his explanation without a by your leave to me. Glad it made sense. And good eye - yep, I am torquing Vinnie just a bit. He shouldn't be the only one to emerge unscathed from my AU. Fairheartstrife - oh, you make me so happy. Yep, Tifa's finally admitting maybe she really can believe what she wants to believe when it comes to Cloud. I don't think Cloud's going to give her much of a choice actually - lol. demonegg - yea! Yeah, Cloud wouldn't be right inside himself if he didn't clarify exactly where Tifa's heart was before he took advantage of it - lol. Red's the one that introduced the entire pack structure though. I didn't see that one coming. And it looks like we're developing quite a market for our 'sell Cloud plushies, get rich' scheme! Calenlass - yeah... isn't he just? :'D - very insightful concerning Aerith. She is. And it's going to show up as the story goes along. Glad you're enjoying the fluff though. I don't think Cloud's going to back off either when it comes to that kind of thing ;) (will accept that head pat - thank you :) writer - wow! just - oh. wow. A review a chapter?! I'm spoiled and it's delicious and lovely and - wow. You can probably see the glow from my idiot grin all the way wherever you are. thank you a million times over for the detail in each chapter review. You are made of awesome to do so many in one fell swoop. oceanee - oh, best beloved, you are made of awesome too. I absolutely eat up the fact that you review each chapter in depth. yes, yes, and yes! You picked up on an awful lot and yeah, you can shake Cloud if you promise to hug him afterward. More fluff, Aerith, Zack and Bugenhagen coming up! The way you phrased Aerith having a 'chance to fight with her own weapons' - pure gold. I really didn't think she got much use during the game beyond plot point and I wanted to give her a bit more. Poor Cloud and UST - yeah, it's going to get worse before it gets better. But we like that kind of thing. Right? David - thank you. Welcome along for the ride. Biskitty - yep, we all pick Cloud. It's true and it made me laugh. Red started in about pack dynamics and I thought 'huh... well, okay, let's roll with it'. It seems to have come out right. And - DON'T GIVE AWAY MY EVIL PLANS!! LOL. You, best beloved, are so much closer than you think in your guess and I won't be surprised if you figure it out way early. Which means I must be doing something right if you're picking up on it already. And - come on and jump. I promise Cloudy goodness all the way down. Tae!! I'm so glad you're here! I LOVE your writing and I'm so flattered you came along with me on mine. 'Possessive sneak-kissing Cloud'?! I'm SO stealing that line. That's great! vx-luna-xv - I'm also going to steal your line about Cloud not being able to keep his mouth off of Tifa. You have no idea how hard that made me laugh (cause it's true). OCV - I will be sure to stock the fridge with Mountain Dew from now on to help in the review hyperness ;) yeah, Tifa was being intentionally/unintentionally blind on that. I think she'd rather tell herself 'no' than set herself up for heartbreak. The more she wants something, the more she tells herself she won't get it because thinking she'd get it after wanting it that badly and then not just might break her - if that makes sense. She's working through that now though - lol. I don't think Cloud's going to slow down enough for it to kick in anytime soon. Which hopefully will provide you with the demanded fluff :D And - lol - well, I AM trying not to make the crossover at the beginning too obvious. Maybe if they run into the two photobugs from the convention one of them can let out a squeal and glomp poor Vincent ;) And speaking of which... meaning, not related at all - on with the show! All corrections and proper grammar are curtsy of Peeka-chan. All mistakes are curtsy of me!_

Chapter 72: A Team

The room around Tifa, that had been full of stars and slowly whirling planets, filled with one planet now and she felt a little shiver as it expanded enough so that its edge brushed her and then she found herself swallowed. She expected the familiar green of the Lifestream but instead for a long time it was a warm, rich orange, just a little bit less red than the walls of the desert around them. In her arms, Aerith shuddered and inhaled and Tifa tightened her hold on her friend. She couldn't hear anything but the air felt – thicker. Sandier. As if they'd stepped into the rock walls of the mountain they were on. Ancient, rich, baked rock.

And then the green came. It washed into the orange like water, spreading out to pool at their feet first and then slowly rising to their ankles and higher. Glowing green and luminescent. Behind her, Cloud made a quiet noise that sounded like he was biting back a different, more violent sound and she remembered he had his own experiences with mako. Aerith started to sag in her arms. Worried, Tifa turned her head, not letting go of her friend to see Cloud standing still, eyes narrowed and face tight – but standing. His eyes fixed on hers and he nodded, just a dip of his chin. And then Zack was next to him and resting a hand on his shoulder and Cloud was looking over in surprise to see the dark haired man's grin as the green rose to their waists.

"I should have brought my swim trunks," Zack told Cloud. "But you know how those things drive the girls wild."

The edge of Cloud's lips twitched and Tifa smiled in relief and then turned her full attention back on her friend. Aerith's green eyes were open and full of the same green light that surrounded them like water even though Tifa couldn't actually feel anything. This wasn't real Lifestream. It wasn't even real mako. It was something else. Maybe – like seeing something on a television? There but not really there?

Aerith was taking deep breaths. The way you did when you wanted to cry but couldn't. Tifa lowered her face to rest her cheek against her friend's and Aerith gave her a weak smile and squeezed her hand but her eyes were elsewhere.

"I need to – I need to sit down," she managed weakly and Tifa nodded and, without even hesitating, sank down with her. She felt more than heard the barely there sound Cloud made as her head went under the green with Aerith's. And then – then they were – elsewhere… Somewhere green and luminescent and her hair rose around her as if she was underwater. Aerith leaned back into her chest, facing away from her and stretched out her hands in front of her. They floated a little and the green played around and over her pale skin while Tifa held her tightly and tried to remind herself that they weren't really underwater and she could keep breathing even though her lungs resisted the idea.

"…oh…" Aerith's voice was faint. "Oh, it hurts…" But her voice sounded more sad than pained. "The planet… it hurts. I can hear it. I can hear – " Her head shifted to the side to rest on Tifa's shoulder and she shut her eyes as the green light that wasn't really there played over her arms and hands. Tifa watched with knit brows, not sure what she should do except sit there and hold her friend until Aerith was either done or something went dreadfully wrong.

She didn't know how long they stayed that way, her watching and Aerith lost in the green around them. Tears slipped slowly down Aerith's pale cheeks and yet she was smiling sometimes, a helpless, hopeless, lost smile. Tifa tried to hear whatever her friend heard but there was nothing for her. Finally Aerith sighed out as if it was her last breath and went limp and boneless against her. It made Tifa's eyes go wide and she almost panicked until she felt Aerith draw in a deep, steady breath. Making a judgment decision, not sure if Aerith really was done or not, Tifa decided they were done. Bracing, she pushed herself upward and it was a bit like standing and a bit like pushing up underwater at the same time. Her face broke the green and, determined, she hauled Aerith up with her. She was just opening her mouth for the guys when arms wrapped around her and Aerith, and Tifa found herself hauled all the way to her feet. She half expected her hair to drip wetly but it was dry around her as Cloud gathered her up against himself and Zack took Aerith from her arms.

"We're done." Cloud's level voice was calm and flat and she caught Bugenhagen from the corner of her eyes as he made another motion. The room went dark and Cloud took the opportunity to bury his face in her hair against her throat and hold her so tightly against himself that it would have hurt if it hadn't felt so good and solid and – ungreen and non-ethereal. She was tempted to turn in his arms to face him so that she could put her arms around him as well but knew that if she did, if she could even manage to turn as tightly as he was holding her, they'd probably never get out of the room.

Slow and gentle, light returned as the platform lowered back down to the level of the house and Cloud lifted his head as the first hint of light came to look at Aerith.

"Is she all right?" he asked without a trace of fear in his voice and Zack nodded, face a little confused.

"I think so. She's breathing normally and she feels fine, no fever or anything. She's responsive."

"Responsive?" Tifa asked with a frown and Zack made a bit of a face and his fingers on Aerith's ribs moved.

She shuddered slightly in response. Ticklish.

It was so incongruous that Tifa couldn't decide whether to laugh in relief or berate the dark haired ex-SOLDIER for tickling her defenseless friend. As soon as the platform touched down level, Bugenhagen moved over to look at the sleeping Ancient.

"She seems unharmed," he offered, sounding a little worried but not upset. "And her face is relaxed. Perhaps she can rest on my couch until she's recovered."

Zack nodded and carried her into the living area with Cloud and Tifa following. Bugenhagen stayed behind in the kitchen with the offer that he'd get them all something to drink while they waited. Zack settled Aerith on the couch and Tifa sat down on its edge next to her, leaning in to stroke her friend's hair back from her forehead. Then she looked at Zack who was pulling up a footstool to make himself comfortable near the head of the couch.

"What's going on with you two?" she asked curiously.

Zack made a noise and rolled his eyes.

"You two go under that – green – and stay under forever and when you finally come up, you're asking what's going on with 'us two'?"

Tifa moved a hand.

"I don't know what happened. It was – green. Kind of like being underwater. I sat there and Aerith let the light play over her hands and arms. She said the planet was in pain. I didn't hear anything." Tifa shook her head and shifted to move her friend's hand to rest over her stomach. Aeirth's bracelets jingled and it reminded Tifa that she still had one of those from Elmyra. "Then she – fell asleep. Or passed out or something."

Bugenhagen came in with a tray of tea and small biscuits with jam and set it down on the table in the middle of the little room.

"I don't think she was in pain," Tifa offered. "Just… sad. And happy. I don't know."

It was strange. She'd always known the Aerith was a bit different. I mean, how many people could heal small wounds with a touch, grow flowers in barren soil or 'hear' mako? And yet, it had never seemed to be strange to Tifa. It was just… Aerith. What was strange was having the point driven home to her that her friend was different. Though Tifa didn't know why she was even bothering realize it. Hadn't she just gotten done showing both Zack and Cloud that she didn't care about 'different'? Aerith was still Aerith, Ancient Cetra or not. The same way Cloud and Zack were still Cloud and Zack. She smoothed her hand over her friend's hair again with a soft smile.

"I guess it's her turn," Tifa murmured. Who hadn't they all sat up with at some point so far after all?

"I wonder what the planet told her," Bugenhagen said, settling down into his own chair.

"What has it told you?" Cloud asked and the old man gave the equivalent of a facial shrug.

"Hoo hoo hoo. I know the planet is in pain. I can hear it screaming some nights. The Shinra reactors are bleeding it painfully. But there is more than that. There is some great horror it remembers and shudders at the thought of enduring again. I cannot say what – only that it makes the planet writhe and – and I think it may not endure whatever makes it shudder in horror if it should happen a second time."

Cloud was leaning against the wall between the couch and the door and he lowered his chin to rest against his chest above his folded arms.

"When was the last time you felt that – the planet's horror?"

"Three days ago," Bugenhagen answered, looking over at their small group. "Does this have to do with what tried to kill my son and the young lady and gentleman here?"

"Seems so," Cloud answered.

Three days ago? That was long after the reactor in Nibelheim Tifa realized. So – Sephiroth was still alive. Somehow she wasn't surprised. She'd seen the man shrug off matured lightening materia.

Zack exhaled through his nose and then slapped his hands down on his thighs.

"Looks like we just have to do this the old fashioned way and kick his ass."

It surprised a laugh out of Tifa and even Cloud smiled a little. Zack grinned and shifted forward on the stool to help himself to the tea and pass a cup to Tifa. Who passed it to Cloud and then got another from Zack for herself. The food got passed around the same way and she glanced over to see Bugenhagen watching them with a curious expression on his face.

"My grandson said the three of you acted like extensions of each other. Hoo, hoo, hoo. You really do."

It made Tifa smile.

"We're a team," she answered simply. Then she laid her hand over Aerith's. "All of us."


	73. Chapter 73: Setting Up

Chapter 73: Setting Up

Tifa was dozing in Cloud's arms when she realized that Aerith was awake. The afternoon had drifted on and Zack had propped his back against the wall and stretched his legs out in front of him, folding his arms loosely in front of himself, chin on his chest, eyes closed even though he was still awake. Cloud had taken an armchair for himself and moved it to be near Aerith's feet on the other end of the couch from Zack. His eyes, rich blue, had looked at Tifa and she'd been unable to resist getting up to shift the two steps that took her over to him.

"I'm okay," she had told him, recognizing what she saw in his eyes and he'd simply reached out and wrapped his hands around her hips to pull her down to him. She'd slipped into his lap and he'd wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest in silence. So she'd stretched her legs out so that her feet rested on the couch next to Aerith's and settled in.

Cloud's cheek was resting against the top of her head and Tifa was drowsily watching Aerith without really looking when she finally realized that her friend's green eyes were open and looking thoughtfully at the ceiling above her.

"Hey," she whispered it as she gently untangled herself from Cloud's arms to slip over to sit on the couch next to her friend. Aerith turned her head to look at her and her eyes were so sad and yet so full of contentment and life that Tifa wasn't sure how she could hold it all inside herself. She took Aerith's hands in hers and her friend gave them a gentle squeeze back. They sat that way for a while longer and then Aerith exhaled deeply and Tifa asked gently:

"Would you like something to drink?"

"That sounds good," Aerith turned her eyes, so sad, so happy, on Tifa and Tifa felt a bolt of pain and fear move through her own heart. So she kept one of Aerith's hands in hers while she reached over and got the cup of tea they'd set aside for her.

"It's cold," she apologized, still in a whisper even though she was fairly sure the boys at least were already awake and just giving them the appearance of privacy. Aerith gave a soft smile.

"It's okay. It's liquid." She sat up a little and silently laughed. "You don't have to help me sit up, Teef. It's okay. Really. I'm fine. I just – had to sleep to give everything time to settle into place, you know?"

"I've never had an entire planet inside myself," Tifa reminded her as she offered the tea and Aerith smiled again, soft and quiet.

"It wasn't quite like that."

"What was it like?"

Aerith shook her head.

"I – it's too hard to explain. It was sad and horrible and happy and completing and homesick and – and all kinds of wonderful, lonely things. My – heart felt so big. As if I loved everything in the whole world, even the ugly things. I loved it so much that it hurt." She exhaled and then sipped at her tea contemplatively. "I can still – kind of – feel that. If I listen really close – I can kind of hear whispers. Not words but feelings." She shook her head. "It's hard to explain."

"Jenova?" Zack lifted his head from where he'd had it back against the wall and Aerith turned her head to look at him. Then she looked back at Tifa, almost apologetic as she nodded.

"I can feel it. Like a cancer. Making everything it touches disgusting and untouchable. It's a leech on a flower. It's still active. And moving."

Aerith's eyes shifted over to Cloud and he looked back at her without expression, eyes steady. Her eyes went sad, hopelessly sad but his face refused to accept or reject that, remaining calm and emotionless. Aerith looked back at Tifa and gave her hand a gentle squeeze and a weak smile.

"You stayed with me. When I was hearing the planet. You stayed right there and made yourself an anchor for me."

Tifa wasn't sure she'd done anything that dramatic and important but she smiled and touched Aerith's cheek.

"That's what friends are for, isn't it?"

Aerith was sudden in her arms, holding her fiercely and surprising her even more when Tifa realized her friend was sobbing as if her heart was breaking. Tifa responded without having to think, her own arms closing around her friend's shaking form. She shot Zack a look since he was in front of her when she faced that way but he shrugged and offered his palms in confusion so Tifa just closed her eyes and held her friend against her, gently rocking, murmuring soothing sounds she used on her own siblings as she stroked Aerith's wavy hair. After a little while, Aerith quieted and just held her tightly.

"I'm sorry," she managed, voice watery. "It's just – there's so much – it's hard to – everything's so overwhelming still."

"It's okay," Tifa murmured, still stroking her hair. "You're with us and we'll be here for as long as you want us to. You know Zack and Cloud haven't got anything better to do with their time anyway."

It surprised the weak laugh out of Aerith and Tifa felt her friend smile against her.

"Oh, Teef…" the voice was deep with affection. "You always know just the right words to say."

The teasing made Tifa laugh softly herself and she hugged her friend a little bit tighter.

"It's why you love me, right?"

"I love you because you love me so much I can't help it," Aerith answered her, holding on just as tight. "That and you make really good food."

Tifa laughed quietly and felt some of the pressure in her heart ease. It was going to be all right. They were all going to be all right.

Bugenhagen insisted that they all stay for dinner and he had food from the tavern down the mountain sent up. Red and Denzel and Marlene came up with it and everyone sat in the living room because there wasn't room in the kitchen and ate their food that way. Marlene insisted on sitting next to Zack while Denzel settled down on the floor next to Cloud's leg. Aerith and Tifa took the couch and Red sat next to his grandfather's chair. The dinner conversation was intentionally light and revolved around the history of Cosmo Canyon interspersed with things the children had discovered about the area on their own. Apparently they'd dragged Red all over the place and he was now their official mascot. Or they were his; it was hard to tell by the comments.

After dinner, everyone thanked Bugenhagen and without really discussing it, they all found themselves sitting around the huge bonfire in the middle of the town. Everyone else had gone to bed, apparently, because they were the only ones there. Tifa leaned against Cloud and Aerith put her head in her lap so Tifa could stroke her hair. Zack stretched out with his head on Red's back, Aerith's legs over his stomach and both of the kids used Zack's side as a backrest while they tossed twigs into the fire and snickered quietly about doing the same to the end of Red's tail.

For a very long time that was enough and it was everything to be able to sit together like that and just – be together. Then Cloud's head came up from where his cheek had been resting against Tifa's and his eyes narrowed down, gold and red and blue and green in the firelight. Red lifted his head almost at the same time and so Tifa turned to look as well. It was hard to see past the light of the fire but she saw a form on the edges of the darkness. Hovering between the dark and the light. Cloud's arm that had been loosely around her stayed relaxed but his hand spread over her stomach.

Vincent…

Remembering what Red had said, Tifa held out the hand that wasn't resting against Aerith's hair.

"You can come sit with us," she offered softly. "If you want to."

The form, red and black and gold in the dark and fire, paused for a very long moment of stillness. And then he slowly came forward, staying at the edges of the fire and night. He settled down a little off from them but near enough that, if anyone had been watching, he would have been included in the 'group' that was sitting there. Tifa felt Cloud's hand lightly squeeze her side and had to stifle the hiccup giggle it brought. She turned her head to give him an accusing look and saw that the edges of his lips were smiling at her and his blue eyes were warm and gentle. She couldn't help the silly, shy smile that spread across her own lips in response. As if that was all the encouragement he needed, Cloud lowered his head and his lips brushed over hers. It made her smile – kissing him always seemed to make her smile and, very softly, against her mouth, he warned:

"Tifa…"

Which just made her smile more and his mouth found hers again with a smile of its own and much more serious intent. Which was when she heard the:

"eep!" followed by a "shhhh!" followed by a:

"Well, hot damn!"

"Hey, Cid" Zack was obviously grinning just from the tone of his voice. "Shera, my sweet. Leon."

Tifa jerked away with a stifled sound, as much in embarrassment in being caught kissing Cloud in front of people that weren't her immediate circle of friends as at the fact that Leon was obviously there and she hadn't wanted to hurt him. Cloud raised his own head but his arms stayed around Tifa where they'd been before. Not about to withdraw what he'd decided. Feeling the heat on her cheeks that had nothing to do with the fire – but maybe Aerith's unhelpful snickers – Tifa looked over.

Shera was trying not to grin which just made it all the more obvious she wanted to and Cid was flat out grinning, wide and toothy.

"It's about time you idiot kids figured it out," Cid volunteered and dropped down in front of the fire. Tifa noticed he took the spot next to Zack. Which did block Shera from sitting there even if she'd been inclined. She didn't seem to notice and settled herself gently down on the other side of the pilot instead. And then Tifa looked at Leon.

It hurt – seeing the sorrow in his eyes but he gave her a soft smile.

"It has been a long time coming," he added softly, eyes still on hers. Then he looked over at Cloud and gave him a nod before settling down in front of the fire as well. He looked into its center.

"We came down because I've heard some news. And I think its time we all shared our information with each other."

**End of Disc Two**


	74. Chapter 74: Plots and Plans

Chapter 74: Plots and Plans

Her siblings were ecstatic. Tifa looked over the railing of the _Highwind_ and didn't blame them. Ahead of her the horizon was taken up with multi-colored lights, shiny shapes and flashing signs that screamed 'spend your gil here'. Well, perhaps that's not what they were literally screaming but it was definitely what Tifa could hear. The Gold Saucer. The world's largest entertainment center. They'd all seen flyers down in the slums of Midgar. Tifa doubted there was a single person on the planet that didn't know about the Gold Saucer. It was just – she'd never dreamed she'd actually go there. That she'd actually get to bring her siblings.

Marlene stood next to her, eyes huge in her face, delighted smile plastered across it, one hand wound in Tifa's. Denzel stood on the other side, both hands on the railing and pretending he wasn't as excited as his flushed cheeks and shining eyes said he was.

"And they've got a haunted house you can stay at and an arcade and prizes and cotton candy and chocobo racing and fireworks and a gondola ride – " Marlene was busy listing off everything she'd heard the place offered and possibly making up some as well though Tifa wouldn't be surprised to find even the made up things there. Zack was leaning on the rail on the other side of Marlene and turned his head to give Tifa a grin over the little girl's head. It wasn't the carefree grin he'd used to give; there was something a little bit hard at the edges of it. It didn't fill his eyes to overflow the way it used to. But it was still a grin and he still meant it and Tifa thought that was more than they could have hoped for already.

It didn't mean she'd given up on seeing his lost grin again though.

"Roller coasters," she supplied her sister with something else as Marlene had to pause to find something else to add to the list and Marlene beamed like the sun and verbally added that to the list too.

"You know, I don't care if we do find the key right off the bat, I'm just gonna stash it somewhere so the kids can keep playing," Zack volunteered and Tifa gave him a smile and reached over to ruffle his hair.

They weren't going to the Gold Saucer for the games. When everyone's information was laid out together, the puzzle it formed was – daunting. Apparently back in Midgar the president of the Shinra Company had just been slaughtered – along with the entire building of workers. Possibly hundreds. It was horrifying news despite the fact their group was technically at war with Shinra. Even more horrifying though was the name that had been given, the reason behind the slaughter.

Sephiroth.

Apparently there had been a part of Jenova concealed in the building and the ex-general had come for it. The president's son had taken over and was locking down the company with an iron claw but the Jenova piece was already gone. And Shinra's scientists were speaking of a Reunion…

That was Leon's news.

Aerith's father had volunteered information as well over the PHS when he'd heard. According to him, Jenova, if it could call all the parts of itself back to itself, would finally give it the mobility and full range of its attributes. According to him as well, when he'd been caught up on what had happened there, a part of it had been rumored to have been stored in Nibelheim once too.

The creature that had once almost destroyed the entire world – and had wiped out most of the Cetra – was being reborn.

The Cetra had defeated it once before though. That was hope, even if there was only one Cetra left. Aerith could hear the planet's pain, feel its shudders of revulsion when Jenova moved across it, but she didn't know how to stop it. Bugenhagen had told them about a place called the Temple of the Ancients. If there was recorded information about how the Cetra had once defeated the Calamity, it might be there.

Might. Such an unhelpful word…

The problem was, no one knew where the Temple was. It was supposed to be a secret that the Cetra had passed down from generation to generation. Except Aerith's mother hadn't lived long enough to tell her daughter. Aerith's father had a possible alternative however.

There was a collection, the largest collection of artifacts in the world and it was on display at the Gold Saucer. Professor Gast had told them that he and his team had often had to go there for their research because the owner of the Gold Saucer refused to part with any of his items and, strangely, Shinra never forced the matter. According to Aerith's father, there were several Cetra artifacts there. Including one that they'd never discovered a purpose behind but that had seemed better preserved than any of the others and simply had the Cetra symbol for 'key' on it.

Cloud and Zack already had a vested interest in hunting down Sephiroth and, remembering the 'wrongness' of the monster they'd fought in Costa del Sol, Tifa would have gone with them to stop that even if she hadn't been soul and heart bound to them both already. Aerith wanted to find the temple and find who she was and Tifa would have gone with her for that. Leon had given a dry smile and remarked that he'd joined the group he now headed to stop the destruction of the planet and a planet-killing monster seemed to fit that description. Tifa was a part of Leon's group. No matter how she looked at it, Tifa would have been going to find the Temple and eventually, Sephiroth.

And where Tifa went, in safer measure, her siblings went too.

Even if it included the Gold Saucer.

"And a Make Your Own Moogle shop!" Marlene wrapped up her description and Tifa looked down at her with a grin.

"I don't know how long we'll be able to stay but we'll see how many fun places we can hit before it's time to go, okay? If we can't stay long, it's okay though. We'll come back."

"I know," Marlene answered, with the verbal equivalent of an eye roll. "We're here for the museum." She snuck a look at Zack, already experimenting with her 'feminine wiles', using her big brown eyes as she asked: "But, we can at least go on one ride, maybe, right?"

Zack rubbed at the back of his neck.

"I don't see why not," he gave in without a fight at all and Tifa could only pity the poor man. Barrett was already twisted around Marlene's little finger and it looked like Zack was going to be joining him there. Marlene beamed.

"We'll be landing soon," Cloud came out of the door and walked across the deck to join them. He rested one hand on Denzel's shoulder and curled the other one around Tifa's waist and for just a moment, she leaned over to rest against him. His fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt to brush over the skin of her waist and it made something inside her shiver in pleasure. She was starting to need his touch on her skin and was trying very hard not to think about where that might lead or what it might mean.

"Zack said we could go on one ride," Marlene announced and Tifa pressed her lips together to keep from laughing at the corner Zack had ended up in. Cloud let go of Tifa just long enough to reach over and smooth a hand down Marlene's hair.

"We should go on more than one ride," his low voice was amused as he shot Zack a look and his friend shrugged helplessly. Tifa shifted her head on his shoulder to look at him and he gave a quiet smile.

"We can't all just walk in there and demand a piece of a collection the owner won't even give to Shinra. We should go in as separate groups so we're not associated with each other and possibly watched. Yuffie and whoever is with her can case the museum so we're ready if we have to resort to stealing anything. I'll go find the owner first though and ask if the piece is for sale or rent. Whoever is with Aerith can see if she can tell anything just by looking at the pieces. There's no reason one of our groups shouldn't be acting 'normal' and going on rides."

"Can you take a _reeeeeally_ long time talking to him?" Marlene turned her big brown eyes on Cloud and he smiled quietly and reached out to tap her cheek gently. His voice was softly amused.

"If I can buy or rent the piece, we'll spend the rest of the night there and celebrate it. Deal?"

Marlene's eyes lit and Denzel's face lifted to Cloud as well.

"Deal!" Marlene agreed eagerly and Cloud gave a silent chuckle and slid his arm around Tifa's waist again, giving Denzel's shoulder a light squeeze with his other hand. The boy glowed under the attention. Then Cloud hissed in a breath and Tifa turned her head in surprise to look at him, noticing the lines of his face had gone suddenly tight. He shook his head, blue eyes flickering clear again and she felt him relax and exhale. His hand slipped off of Denzel's shoulder.

"Why don't you guys go change into some clothes you can stay warm in. It gets cold after sunset." Both Marlene and Denzel beamed up at the blond warrior and then Marlene reached out and grabbed Zack's hand.

"Come on!" she grinned. "They're getting ready to go all kissy. You can come with us instead. We'll tell Aerith."

"Kissy, huh?" Zack made a disgusted face and reached out to drop his unclaimed hand on Denzel's shoulder. "We'd better get out of here than. Kissing is gross."

The laugh slipped out of Tifa before she had even realized it was coming and she turned into Cloud, feeling his own almost silent laughter as Zack and the children escaped. Then he exhaled contentedly and let the arm he already had around her pull her closer. Tifa tucked peacefully into him, hands curling against his chest and shut her eyes. Inhaling that wonderful, familiar clean lightening and storm smell of him, soaking in the wonderful heat of him. It did strange things to her. Made her even more awake and yet filled her with such a mellow comforting peace as well.

"Thank you," she murmured to him and heard his hummed sound.

"Kids should be allowed to be kids." His fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt again and traced slow patterns against the small of her back, making her shiver. His voice dipped lower and she felt the brush of his lips against her ear. "So we're supposed to be getting kissy, hm?"

It made her stomach do a funny little flip and she tried to stifle her smile against him.

"Mm."

"Hate to disappoint the children – " he said it soft and throaty and his mouth searched for hers, brushing against the bottom of her ear, her jaw line, her cheek, her chin…

"Smiling…" his voice was against the edge of her mouth and she couldn't help the sigh or the laughter he made bubble in her blood.

"Yes…"

"Good." His mouth shifted and covered hers and, feeling the warmth like liquid oil start to flow through her joints and muscles, she twisted her head to give him more.


	75. Chapter 75: The Gold Saucer

_well, gentle readers, I did warn you that things were going to keep going downhill from here, so here we go! For my best beloveds - oceanee - I adore you. I truly, truly do. Your reviews are highlights for me and I look forward to them like you wouldn't believe. All I can promise you is that things will get worse but they'll get better too and I'll do my darnest to make the pain worthwhile at the end. I honestly don't know what will happen to Aerith. I'm only just now starting writing the temple of ancients and I have no idea how that will go. I won't say I'm not influenced by my best beloveds however. Jini - I KNOW! It's hard not to just mush over Cloud myself. Luckily he tends to write himself so I just get to go along for the ride. And - I'm loving the way Aerith and Tifa's relationship is working out as well. Like I said I'm at the temple of ancients in my writing and I have no idea what's going to happen. It's killing me! Calenlass - more fuzziness ahead - er, it's hiding behind all the gore... OCV - lol - sorry I was distracting. I intend to finally catch up on my reading, your fics included, this week. Last week was crazy. And yes! there will be a date. Just - not the date everyone's expecting ;) Dis - funny you should mention Reno and Cissnei... keep your eyes open for them next week or the week after perhaps. And I'm flattered you liked the observatory. I had fun writing that. I agree - Cloud gets seniority, we'll see how he and Leon manage the whole 'leadership' issue. And - good eye. :'D - may I not disappoint with the fluff this week (hang on for next week if I do, its much heavier in the chapters for next week - you'll like ;) And yeah, how's Zack supposed to resist Marlene? Come on, even Vincent can't resist Marlene. writer - wow, how you make my day when I see reviews from you in my email box. You bring me serious joy. I adore the way you broke down the four characters personality types and their interaction. I couldn't have made it half so succinct and true. And here's the Gold Saucer for you. I took some liberties. Hope you don't mind. demonegg - I wondered if anyone else would catch that. I couldn't think of a better title and considering Barrett, I thought I'd risk it - lol. Tae - I'm so glad you noticed Cloud and his reaction to the green. I really can't imagine him dealing with it with anything short of a internal panic attack considering. And yeah, I'm a sucker for the snuggling too. There shall be more! Much more! And yeah, we can't resist a Cloud that's paying attention to Tifa like that, can we? vx-luna-xv - Zack is Zack. I couldn't keep him quiet. And yeah, I feel bad for Leon too but what could I do? Tifa was being very single minded. And - Cloud's hands continue to wander... biskitty - ?!? waaaaaaahhhhh! What? No re-re-re-reviews?! I think I'm seriously going to cry. Well, perhaps not cry but do you mind if I pout? Not having access sucks like a hover. So sorry. Yeah, I loved the Gold Saucer part of the game too. it's so out of place and yet so right and needed. I hope I live up to your expectations and I seriously hope you can at last manage to keep reading my chapters. Just knowing you do makes me feel good. Good luck and God speed on the new job though - I hope it works out wonderfully for you! and of course, thanks always to Peeka-chan without whom this would still be possible but a heck of a lot harder to read ;)  
_

Chapter 75: The Gold Saucer

Tifa was assigned to Aerith's 'group'. Not surprisingly Zack and the children went off in one group. 'Letting all the children go together' Aerith had called it and Zack had teased her that she was just jealous he'd found another girl that adored him as much as she did. Barrett went with Yuffie, who, as soon as she was off the ship, regained every ounce of her hyper energy… until she had gotten on the tram over to the Saucer and then she spent the trip hanging out the window and making noises that had scared the lift operator. Leon had gone with Cloud to talk to the owner of the park. Cid stayed with his ship as well as Red - victim of a 'no pets' rule - and Vincent, who said he wasn't good in crowds. That left Aerith, Tifa and Shera – who all decided to be 'girls' together and make sure they enjoyed themselves.

Yuffie and Barrett were scheduled to visit the museum first and so the 'girls group', after Tifa had seen off her excited siblings and a just as excited Zack, stopped to buy funnel cakes and fried donuts. The powdered sugar went straight to Tifa's head and it wasn't soon before all three of them had gotten giggly. The comedic magic show they saw after the snacks didn't help dispel the giggly mood any and they just compounded matters by going to the fun house next.

Maybe they wouldn't have been as punchy normally but – it was so nice, just for a short time, to be _normal_. Really just – normal. Doing things girls their age would do, no world to save, no horrible evil to defeat, no life of running and hiding and blowing things up. Just… being girls out having fun together.

Stumbling out of the fun house, faces red from laughing at each other's reflections – and comments on those reflections – they paused under one of the cheerful strands of paper lanterns while Shera had to take her glasses off to wipe the tears off of them.

"Are you sure they didn't put something in our soda?" Aerith asked, trying to reach up and brush the paper lantern above her with her fingertips, eyes shining.

"Giggle juice," Tifa chuckled, leaning down to link her fingers and cup her hand so that Aerith could get a foot up on it and, one hand on Tifa's head, set the lantern swaying.

"I wish I had my camera," Shera lamented yet again and Tifa grinned.

"We should find a photo booth," she suggested and Aerith almost fell off of her.

"Oo," Aerith had too much drama in her voice. "We should. Oh, we should. Come on!" She grabbed Shera's hand and Shera grabbed Tifa's in pure defense as Aerith pulled them both off into the crowd.

There was a photo booth located on the corner of one of the 'streets' and Aerith dragged everyone into it with her. The ensuing photo session went rapidly downhill thanks to the Cetra. The pictures that came out in a long strip for each of them were worth every gil though.

"Now we need cotton candy," Aerith announced and Shera tugged at Tifa's hand.

"Let's do a roller coaster first, okay? Before we eat."

"I vote for that," Tifa volunteered and Aerith linked her arm through Shera's other one and grinned.

"Okay. Roller coaster, _then_ cotton candy! And I want to see the haunted house too."

Tifa's phone rang. And just like that, the laughter slipped away from the group.

"It's Yuffie," Tifa said before she answered it. She listened, gave her own offered assents and then hung up. She looked over at Aerith with a weak smile.

"Looks like it's our turn."

Aerith gave a weak smile of her own. She'd spent her life wondering who she was, what she was, and now she was about to face hints and clues of it. Tifa could understand how that would be just as daunting as it would be a relief. She reached out and gave Aerith's hand a light squeeze.

"We can get the cotton candy afterward," she offered and Aerith squeezed her hand back and smiled softly. Shera reached out and took Aerith's other hand.

"Maybe the haunted house too."

Tifa was glad Shera was with them. Somehow it felt as if together they were the wall surrounded Aerith and keeping her safe.

The museum was through a wide glass revolving door and, as they went through it, Tifa had a moment to muse on just how much fun Zack would have had with that. Then they were inside and walking through the carpeted main lobby. Unlike the rest of the resort, the museum was done almost tastefully, without any gaudy flashing lights or insane clowns on drugs music. Instead there was a large, polished information desk in the center of the lobby and several rooms leading off as well as carpeted stairs leading upward. Tifa was suddenly very aware of her sticky fingers and uncombed hair. From the way Shera was taking off her glasses and cleaning them again, Tifa suspected she wasn't the only one. Making a motion for her friends to wait, she darted over to the information desk and returned with maps of the museum. First, she gestured though and led the group to the bathrooms.

When they emerged shortly afterward, they all had their hair combed back in place and the powdered sugar brushed off of their clothes. Tifa handed out the maps and they wandered over to the 'early Shinra' exhibit. If they were going to be casual about this, walking directly to the 'Ancients' display would tip their hand. Shera made humming comments over the Shinra exhibit and Tifa suspected they weren't just for show. From what the exhibit showed at least, Shinra had once been one of several competing weapons manufacturing companies. It was a long way from world domination and Tifa wondered what the world had been like before Shinra had taken over. Before Midgar. The exhibit didn't say.

Then they wandered over to the room the Ancients' artifacts were in.

Someone had tried to make it a solemn and respectful setting. The music that was piped in here was soft and subtle and the lighting was soft too. There weren't many displays in the room and each of them was in its own glass case on a stand. Aerith exhaled as they walked in the entrance and reached out to take Tifa's hand and Shera's. Together they all went forward.

Tifa had no idea what an Ancient artifact would look like. She knew Aerith and that was her only experience with Cetra. The only thing she thought of when she thought of Aerith that might be considered artifacts were her bracelets or her pink hair ribbon. She supposed she'd expected, if she'd expected anything, something that would remind her of Cosmo Canyon. Instead what she saw wasn't like that at all. It was… liquid.

The first piece was a carving of some sort. Tifa couldn't tell what it was meant to be – other than beautiful. It was made out of stone and yet it looked as if the stone had been liquid when it had taken the form and solidified afterward. There was something so peaceful and relaxing and yet alive and vibrant about the sculpture that Tifa wished it wasn't behind glass and that she could reach out and touch it. Just to see if it felt warm or cool like water.

All of the artifacts were like that. Beautiful and abstract and – harmonious. There were a few that had little plaques to explain what they had once been – simple things like bowls or a hair comb or parts of a traveling loom but most of them were simply marked with the date of their discovery and where they'd been found – City of the Ancients – and that was all. Beautiful just to be beautiful or else too beautiful to be recognized as whatever they'd once been used for. It reminded Tifa of some of Aerith's drawings, the ones she made when she was very tired or very emotional.

Aerith moved from one item to the next as if she were in a dream, eyes soft and a little unfocused sometimes. There was a little smile on her lips and Tifa didn't want to disturb her to ask about it. She looked… she looked at peace. More than she had since they'd found out about Cetra artifacts. Shera and Tifa let her set the pace and they drifted slowly around the room until they came to the raised dais and the single item on display at its top. The plaque simply read:

_Key of the Ancients_

and nothing else. No date of discovery or place. It was more solid and boring looking than the other pieces they'd looked at already. Long and thin and twirling where the other pieces were smooth and rounded. There was no doubt it was made by the same people though, beautiful despite itself somehow. Very clearly incised symbols marked each of its sides. Aerith let go of Shera to reach up and rest her hand against the glass.

"It… sounds different." Her voice was very soft. "It sounds… purposeful. Everything else is strings and this one is brass. It wants to be used."

"Can you read it?" Shera asked and Aerith frowned and squinted at the stone spiral for a moment before shaking her head.

"No. But I can hear it. I can hear it wanting to be somewhere else."

Tifa gave her friend's hand a light squeeze.

"You think that's it?"

Aerith turned her face to look at her and her eyes were sure.

"Oh, yes."

"Okay," Tifa simply stated. If Aerith said that was what they were looking for than it was. Now it was only a matter of getting it and getting out of here with it still in their possession. She couldn't imagine the manager of this place simply handing it over which meant they were going to have to get Yuffie to steal it.

Funny how her moral compass had shifted over the past year.

Tifa wasn't sure what they would do once they did have it. Maybe it would sing to Aerith where it wanted to go or maybe she could find a thread in the Lifestream of the planet that matched its music. Maybe Professor Gast could figure out what the symbols meant if they took pictures and sent them to him. Tifa refused to think that they might not be able to figure it out somehow.

Shera lightly cleared her throat.

"We can't stay too long," she reminded them. If they were going to steal it the last thing they wanted was anyone in charge of things getting nervous because groups kept coming in and hovering over this one single item. With a nod, Tifa stepped back and Aerith let herself be tugged back down the steps and out of the room.

"I'd like to see the 'Nature's Mysteries' room," Shera offered as they stepped out of the archway. "It's the kind of thing the Captain would want to look at if he'd ever leave his ship."

It made Tifa smile.

"It's almost too bad he got it repaired. At least before, even if we had to walk, we got to see him on the ground from time to time."

Shera chuckled and pushed her glasses back up on her nose as they went into the room that had been decorated to look 'spooky' with dim lighting and each of the displays lit from below with eerie white or green or yellow light. Tifa paused in front of the 'Two-headed Chocobo' that was floating in a jar of cloudy liquid and tipped her head to try to see it better.

"The Captain was meant for the sky. He feels funny if he spends too much time on the ground. Being above things makes him happy." Shera paused and added a bit softer: "And I think it lets him pretend his problems are somewhere below him too."

"You should tell him how you feel," Aerith offered her advice to the other woman and Shera looked down and pushed at her glasses again.

"I can't," she whispered brokenly and Tifa reached out to put an arm around her shoulders.

"I could tell him," Aerith offered and it jerked Shera out of her despair with a horrified noise. Aerith laughed and gave the other woman a quick hug. "I'm just joking. If I wouldn't rat out Tifa – and that took forever – I wouldn't rat you out either. But you should really tell him. Look how beautiful Tifa looks now that she's shining inside."

Tifa opened her mouth to respond and then promptly shut it. Shera giggled.

"You do look a lot happier," she agreed and then Tifa's phone went off again and saved her from having to start squirming at the attention.

"Hello? Leon? What's – what?! Right now?" She looked at the other two women, making an 'I don't know' gesture. "Yeah. Yeah, sure. We'll be there." Hanging up she turned to her friends.

"Leon says we need to get over to the Battle Arena as soon as we can. He didn't say why."

Aerith made a face.

"That's where they do the blood sports for rewards, isn't it?"

Tifa suddenly got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and it must have showed on her face.

"oh – " Shera breathed as Aerith's eyes got wider.

"Oh – no. No. They wouldn't," Aerith protested. Tifa simply turned and ran out of the building, Shera and Aerith right on her heels.


	76. Chapter 76: Blood Sport

_Kueilan – close your eyes if you're still around, best beloved…_

Chapter 76: Blood Sport

The Gold Saucer catered to all kinds of whims and 'amusements'. On its surface it was shiny and electric lights and cheerful music but there were lower parts to it as well and those lower parts, hidden under the gloss, were for more 'adult' amusements. It was no Honey Bee Inn but some of the sporting events were more violent than others and it was rumored that some of the people participating in the games were criminals. Even in the slums of Midgar, Tifa had heard that the bets here went high and the payment on their loss was prompt and to the point. Technically, it was all legal so no one stopped the three women as they made their way through the halls that led off to the different sporting events but they did get a lot of looks and quite a few of those were speculative. Tifa and Aerith both fell back automatically into the habit of moving the way you did when you were traveling through the slums and kept Shera between them. Leon was waiting at the entrance to the Battle Arena and Tifa was so glad he was there she almost hugged him. She'd been worried he'd be _in_ the arena.

Which just left –

"Where's Cloud?"

Leon didn't look happy and he jerked his thumb back over his shoulder through the door before he turned and started walking that direction himself. Inside the entrance the noise of the crowd started to rise.

"He's fighting."

"What?" Tifa asked even though she'd heard perfectly well.

Leon led the way to the risers that served as cheap seats.

"Apparently Dio, the owner of the place, is a betting man. Cloud made a bet."

"A bet?" Shera repeated but Tifa had stopped moving at the top of the steps up to the risers and was looking at the arena. And Cloud.

He was facing off against three monsters, two of which she recognized. All of them were on the large side. Cloud was moving with his usual efficiency, sword a flashing blur of motion. Tifa didn't know how many times she'd seen him fight – but it still made her mouth go dry. Part of it was worry – but part of it, the part of her that had something wrong with it, found him impossibly attractive when he was fighting. She knew it was insane because he could get hurt or even killed and so she shouldn't be noticing the way he took the weight of a roll on his legs or how impossibly graceful it looked when he blocked a blow and then spun under it to drive in.

It was just monsters. Big, dangerous monsters and anyone could get in a lucky strike – but… just monsters. Cloud had been fighting monsters before she'd even known him. Her worry was at a reasonable level.

"Come on," Leon reached out and took her hand to lead her blindly toward a place on the benches. Around her the noise level went up from the surging crowd as one of the monsters collapsed. Tifa wrapped her fingers around Leon's and let him guide her so she didn't have to take her eyes off of Cloud.

"I'm sure he'll win," Aerith told her. "It's Cloud."

"He's won the last two," Leon commented tightly and that did bring Tifa's eyes to him.

"Last two?"

Scowling, Leon sat down and tugged her down as well.

"That's the deal. Seven fights. A new handicap for each fight. If he wins them all, Dio gives him the keystone."

"What? Seven?" Tifa looked back at Cloud and it was a good thing he was in combat or she would have been forced to punch him herself. Seven fights, not seven monsters. How many monsters in each fight, how many different kinds of monsters? And - handicaps?

"He lost his fire materia right off the bat." Leon sounded as if Tifa might have to get in line to pummel Cloud. "Protective armlet next round but he cast barrier. This round all his materia seems weaker."

"And he's got four more to go after this one?" Shera asked in horror as Cloud took a blow he hadn't had time to dodge and Tifa went absolutely still in her seat and forgot to breath. It knocked the blond backward and he rolled with it and was back up on his feet in an instant but Tifa had seen the blood.

"He's still got healing materia on him," Leon murmured, barely heard over the new roar from the crowds. Tifa nodded in a jerk. Leon had said all Cloud's materia was weaker though.

Cloud took down the next monster and Tifa was vaguely aware of the sounds of yelling and screaming from the people around her, of how many of them were on their feet. A part of her that understood business wondered how much Dio's bookies were making on each of Cloud's fights. She climbed to her own feet and then onto the bench so she could still see as the people in front of her went to their feet. Cloud's last monster fell in a heap and Cloud backed up to put his back against the pole that marked one of the corners of the arena. There was the brief glow of a heal materia over his skin but it was very faint compared to what Tifa was used to. She knew Cloud well enough to know he looked tired and she also knew him well enough thanks to their travels to know that he wasn't at the end of his strength.

But he still had four more rounds to go.

The floor under the monster bodies sank, a giant elevator of some sort and a woman in a revealing outfit walked around the outside of the ring, holding up a placard with the number four on it. Everywhere people were punching buttons on the small betting boxes they held in their hands and above it all, a board was flashing the odds and the latest handicap in big, white letters.

"Shit," Leon cursed, rare for him and Tifa looked over in a quick glance before going back to Cloud. "They've hit the monsters with a speed materia."

Cloud ran a hand over his face and flicked away the blood and sweat. The floor rose and there were two giant monsters with long looking claws. Without a sound, Cloud moved back into the square and went on the offensive.

By the end of that round, Tifa had nail marks in the palms of her gloves and her knuckles hurt, she was clenching her fists so tightly. It was Cloud. Cloud the mako-enhanced, super SOLDIER or something close enough to. And yet – everything in her was screaming that she should be by his side. That he shouldn't be fighting alone. That she should be there with him. He was resting with his back against the pole again as the monsters sank with the floor and rubbing absently at his arm and she didn't have to be near him to know his blue eyes would be narrowed and focused, the rest of the arena and its screaming inhabitants blocked entirely from his mind. The sparkle of materia moved over his skin again but it was still too dim. He had three more rounds to go and around her Tifa was aware enough to hear that the betting both for and against him was getting frantic.

"What was his part of the bet?" Tifa asked Leon and he shook his head with a scowl that hadn't really left his face.

"Idiot didn't even tell me about a bet until Dio accepted. He distracted me with checking out the security in the main office."

Tifa rested her hand on Leon's arm and he looked at her, angry at Cloud, angry at himself. She shook her head.

"We'll beat him up after he gets out of this alive."

His eyes narrowed in agreement but the edges of his mouth shifted upward as well.

"Are we taking turns or ganging up on him?"

The bell sounded and the floor came up. Four flying snakelike creatures. Those, Tifa had fought before; she knew how quick they were and how much they hurt when they hit you with their electric attacks.

"Frog?" Shera asked and Tifa looked up at the display to see the handicap.

"Floor is covered in grease but they cast a materia that makes the gravity in that spot weaker," Leon explained.

"You're kidding me," Tifa exhaled. Cloud seemed to give an exhale of his own and moved back into the square. The fight got messy quickly.

"That's ridiculous. No one can fight that way," Tifa protested. But Cloud did. He pulled out moves she'd never seen before and spent most of his time solidly on the ground, rolling. Each time one of the creatures wrapped around him though, Tifa found herself cringing. The last monster and he went down in a tangled pile and it was a long moment of neither of them moving before Cloud pushed it off of him and limped back to his corner. Tifa was down the stairs before she even realized she was moving. Cloud leaned down to pick up the bottle of water and took a swallow before dumping the rest over his head. Tifa saw the way the water pooled pink at his boots.

"You jerk!" Tifa reached up and hauled herself up onto the outside of the square and it was a symptom of how tired Cloud was that he was surprised. He turned and his blue eyes met hers. He blinked and the tired, flat, dead blue of his eyes changed, went young and clear and she saw light spark in it. It broke her heart and she reached out and caught him by the front of his filthy shirt to pull him close. His mouth closed over hers, better than any words, hot with need.

"Sugar," his voice was raw as he drew away and she saw the smile at the edges of his lips before he turned and went back into the arena to face the monsters that had risen. Tifa pressed her own lips together and watched him go. Because he'd tasted like grease and sweat and blood. And storm wind – Cloud always tasted like storms.

Tifa stayed where she was for the next battle. It was hard. It was so hard not to automatically cast cure on him as he staggered. So hard not to make a noise or leap forward to cover his exposed side when he spun through one of his complex attacks. If she did though – it would disqualify him and she knew he'd made this choice. He'd come this far. If she helped now, everything he had done would have been for nothing and all the blood he had left on the wooden floor of the square wouldn't matter. She locked her fingers together and watched. It was all she could do… watch. Watch and pray.

He went down, a stumble that turned into a flat out fall as the last monster alive stretched out its tentacles and grabbed him. It went into close combat where Cloud's sword was too big to be useful and for too long a minute it was impossible to see where the man ended and the monster began. Tifa bit her lip to keep from saying his name and distracting him. Barely staying where she was and not leaping into the center of things. It would have been easier to wait if she'd known he would call if he was in trouble. She knew he wouldn't though.

Finally he heaved and there was the sound of something cracking, breaking, popping. The monster fell limply to the side and Cloud pulled himself to his hands and knees. For a long time he stayed that way and Tifa crouched down at the edge of the square. Determined, he got one foot under him. Rested. Got the other foot planted and staggered to his feet. His hand closed over his sword and he made it back to her. She leaped up and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned into her as much as he leaned against the pole to keep himself upright. His left arm hung limp at his side.

She should tell him he could quit…

"Have I ever told you how attractive you are when you're fighting?" she asked softly as she smoothed fingers through his sweat and blood stiffened hair and he grunted a laugh against her throat and shoulder before rubbing his face against her bare skin there. Exhaling a low, rumbling sound, he murmured:

"So soft," and made her stomach jump weightlessly. With another grunt, he straightened and his eyes met hers. They were so intensely aqua that it made her throat close up with what she saw in those ocean deep depths.

"Be here when I get back." His voice was hungry and low and layered and it sent its fingers down through her chest and stomach. She nodded.

It made the edge of his lips twist upward, barely there, and then he turned and started back to the center of the square, straightening as he went. She saw the dim rise of green as he cast cure several times. The hole in the floor in front of him started to rise and just as he was starting to shift into readiness an orange colored mist seemed to fall from the ceiling to settle around him. Tifa looked up to see the board above the ring but she was too close and couldn't see what this handicap was. The noise from the watching crowd indicated something large however and when the mist dissipated, she saw him on his knee, choking in air.

That was the moment that the floor rose and the giant looking worm with rows and rows of teeth lunged at him.


	77. Chapter 77: Entertainment

Chapter 77: Entertainment

At the end, Cloud pushed himself up to one knee and that was all Tifa waited for. Before the floor with the monster corpse on it even started to sink, before the sound of the bell had even stopped, she was across the slick platform and skidding to her knees in front of Cloud, wrapping her arms around him. He made a noise when she did, part pained, part laugh, and he simply leaned forward into her and relaxed.

"I was supposed to come to you," he muttered against her and her own noise, part tears, part laugh, slipped out of her.

"You were late. I thought I'd come find you instead."

He gave a soft noise of approval and she called up her healing materia and cast it over him. The glow was strong and bright, swirling as it closed around him and helped knit torn skin and bruised flesh back together. He exhaled a long, slow sigh as he settled more comfortably slumped forward against her.

"You're an idiot," she chided him against his ear. "Yuffie could have – "

He shook his head and then got distracted, nuzzling just under her ear with his nose.

"Dangerous. Didn't want to risk – Gaia, you smell good…" His hands slipped down to wrap his fingers around the outsides of her thighs and he dragged her closer to him that way. She felt the heat flush from her stomach all the way up to her cheeks.

"Cloud – " it choked out of her and he laughed, a low, barely there sound that rumbled through her as his fingers spread and tightened on her.

"Cast another cure on me so I can carry you out of here. They've got rooms nearby."

That sounded… yes, that sounded… the single, persistent brain cell kicked in -

"No!" It squeaked out of her. "I mean – Cloud!"

"You son of a bitch!" Leon had made it up onto the square as well now and he actually pushed past one of the healers starting to climb onto the platform to march over. "If Tifa wasn't in the way, I'd kick your ass right now."

"Tifa," Cloud's voice was muffled against her and his lips rubbed along her throat. "Stay in the way."

"Sir," one of the healers was trying to reach Cloud except half of the team was already crowded around him as Shera and Aerith joined Leon. "I need to restore the contestant. It's part of the game's rules."

"You don't touch him," Tifa was surprised by how much like a snarl the statement came out of her and she turned hard, flashing eyes on the healer as her arms wrapped more tightly around Cloud. Whatever the healer saw in them, he actually jerked back an unintentional step. Tifa turned her face into Cloud's hair and murmured to him:

"That's my job," as she summoned the healing from the materia embedded in her gloves again and poured it out through her and into the man in her arms. Cloud sighed as the familiar green wove over and around and through him again. She hadn't been able to help him fight. Healing was the least she could do. Cloud gave another grunt as the green began to fade and Tifa felt him flex the muscles in his back and shoulders experimentally. She didn't know whether to hit him or kiss him. Clearing his throat, he raised his head and looked at the rest of his team gathered around him. Then he looked at Leon.

"I told you not to call anyone."

"Yeah, well, since I don't take my orders from you, I did," Leon answered with a shrug. Cloud slipped an arm around Tifa's shoulders and stood up, drawing her up with him. The edges of his lips moved and his eyes were steady as they met Leon's.

"Thanks."

Leon shrugged and Cloud looked at the rest of his team before spotting the Saucer employees standing behind them. His eyes went level.

"Tell Dio I'm coming for my prize."

If they'd stepped back from whatever had been in Tifa's eyes they positively retreated from Cloud's, stumbling backward with assurances. Aerith stepped forward to hesitantly touch Cloud's arm and he inhaled as he looked over at her.

"Thank you," she whispered weakly and Cloud's lips softened.

"It really belongs to you anyway."

It made her smile and it was so soft and beautiful and sad that Tifa had the worse feeling of premonition in her stomach and yet she had no idea what it meant. It made her reach out and take her friend's hand in hers however and Aerith smiled at her.

"Come on," Leon turned. "Let's get that piece and go. I'm done being 'entertained' here."

"Do you want to stop somewhere and clean up?" Tifa asked Cloud as they started out of the arena. She was surprised by how many of the people that had been watching crowded around and reached out to try to slap Cloud on the shoulder or called questions, job offers, and suggestions to him. Some of the Saucer employees moved in to form a protective barrier, apparently used to this kind of thing. Cloud looked over at Tifa from the sides of his eyes and his smile, subdued, was still predatory.

"No. I look more intimidating this way. I don't want to let him think he's getting out of his end of the bargain."

His arm stayed around her though and he kept her close against his side. Tifa knew he wasn't fully healed yet, that it would take rest and quiet. He was healthy enough for a quick chat with Dio though. They could rest when they'd gotten back to the _Highwind_.

Dio was in his office and Tifa looked at the man in surprise. Somehow she'd expected a man that ran a place like this to look – well, either grandfatherly to match the children's attractions or else slick and polished – like the bookies in Midgar. Dio was dressed in a business suit but he was built like a body builder and when he moved wrong the steams of his suit strained. He grinned when he saw Cloud come in and his teeth were very white in his tanned face.

"Cloud Strife! I've never seen anyone put on a show like that. You had them eating from hand!" He seemed honestly pleased and stood up with a small wooden box in his huge hands. "I'll go you double or nothing if you'll stay and do it again tomorrow."

Cloud snorted and gave Tifa's shoulders a squeeze before letting go to step forward and take the box.

"I'll pass on that Dio. You still owe me for the chocobo race the last time I was here." He handed the box to Aerith.

"What? That was fair and square," Dio boomed his protest with a grin. "I won a lot of money on my bets on you and you got out of Corel Prison. Fair and even all the way around."

Tifa turned her head to look at Cloud at the new revelation but he was looking at the body builder the same way Tifa had often found herself looking at Reno when he'd come in to infest her bar. Then he turned his head to look at Aerith.

"Is that what you need?"

Her green eyes were a little blurry and she had that soft smile on her lips but she nodded as she looked into the wooden box.

"Oh yes," she answered. "This wants to go home."

Dio gave her a puzzled look and then shrugged. He turned his attention on Tifa instead.

"I'm going to have to rebroadcast that show. You bursting in toward the end there sent ratings spiking. You know, you convince Blondie here to come back for a rematch or something and I'll double the price if you'll come with him and pull that hot little stunt of yours again."

Tifa felt her mouth drop open and quickly shut it, eyes wide and absolutely nothing came to mind to say in response. Cloud reached over and slipped his arm around her waist to draw her back up against his side.

"She's just for me, Dio." His voice was flat and the big man grinned.

"You never did get the concept of good entertainment, Strife. Can't blame a man for making the offer. You should have seen the flip in the betting when she showed up."

"You should have seen the bets we had on how long it was going to take them to get together in the first place," Tifa thought she heard Shera mutter but when she turned her head to look the other woman was looking curiously at the box Aerith was holding in her hands.

"As much as we've _enjoyed_ your hospitality," Leon stepped in verbally. "We need to get back to the rest of our group."

Dio shrugged.

"Well, if they're anywhere but here, you're going to have to wait until we get the tram fixed."

"What?" Cloud's head turned to fix Dio with sharp, dangerous blue and the other man held up his hands quickly.

"I'm a man of my word, Strife. You know that. I didn't plan it this way. Look – I'll put you all up for the night, no charge, no strings. Customer satisfaction."

"Do we have a choice?" Leon asked dryly and Dio just offered his shrug again. Cloud shook his head but he looked more resigned and amused than annoyed.

"Come on. We'll call Cid and let him know and then we'll try to round up the kids."

No one asked if he meant more than just Denzel and Marlene.

"Take some free passes," Dio scooped them up from his desk and offered them with a shark's smile. "Go out and enjoy yourselves tonight. Take your girl out to one of the nice restaurants. Go on some of the rides. Be seen. Sign some autographs."

Cloud took the passes with a sigh and a good-natured shake of his head. Tifa wasn't sure how she felt about being a walking advertisement for the man's establishment but she had lived in the slums far too long to be able to pass up just about anything that said 'free'.

The same way she couldn't stop herself from politely saying:

"Thank you."

Dio beamed and nodded.

"Just remember. Come back anytime. We'll have special guest spots and everything."

Before Tifa's cheeks could go entirely red, Cloud had turned them all around and headed the group out the door. Shera took the passes from him and examined them. Aerith shut the box but turned it over and over in her hands contemplatively. Leon flipped open his phone and Tifa heard him talking to Cid.

"This will make the kids happy," Cloud murmured to her and she turned her head to smile at him.

"You mean Denzel and Marlene or Zack and Yuffie?"

He chuckled almost silently in response.

"Well, I already know who's going to be better behaved."


	78. Chapter 78: Shower Incident 3

_all right, let's get this show on the road. Today's updates come early because my schedule at work is screwy. I see a lot of new readers and welcome, welcome, welcome. As for my best beloveds - Ktisis - oh, welcome back. You were very much missed. Best of luck with the finals. May your mind remain unfried by speedo wearing body builders (lol - man! I think I'm STILL traumatized by the 'Group Room incident' myself). oceanee - I adore your chapter by chapter reviews! well, now you know what 'the boys' were up to. And 'the boy' himself doesn't improve much in the next couple of chapters either - lol. Glad you approved of Tifa's 'hands off!' moment and yeah, I was watching my nephew play FFVII the other day and caught myself smiling like a sop as Cloud twirled his sword and slapped it back onto his back. I snicker and yet, can't blame, all the girls that fall for Cloud in the game (which my nephew, being only 10, finds more distracting than amusing. I figure it will take a few years but he's on the right track. He's already bringing Tifa everywhere with him in the game). Dis - yeah, lol. I'm with you. I just didn't think I could seriously write Cloud getting turned into a frog and having to b-slap the monsters down. Fun in the game, a little too awkward to write in a story. As for whether Cloud ever fesses up to the 'prison incident' remains to be seen however ;) Jini - LOL!! how you made me laugh with your RAWR! it was great. Well, I figure with the left over adrenaline, hopped up aggression from the fights and being a bit more inside his body than his head for a change, Cloud would slip up a little when it came to Tifa. He tries to be a gentleman but come on - lol. And yeah, I couldn't abuse Leon. He's a good guy, just not for Tifa (hear that OTP war?!) Calenlass - it's okay. You can yell at him too. Just as long as he gets cuddles afterwards. OCV - wow, I LOVE a review a chapter trades. They taste delicious! For 'Nature's Mysteries' I actually had the old (before they made cleaned it up and made it slick) Ripley's Believe It Or Not museum stuck in my head - lol. That place used to be a trip. Though I will now have to look up Ratchet and Clank on YouTube. And the Buster sword is in Wutai. Cloud's using his. Zack's using - uh, standard issue? Ciel - hey! welcome to the party! drinks are in the fridge ;) Glad you're enjoying. I'll do my best to keep the cliffhangers coming ;) oh writer - how happy you make me. I'm glad, I tried to keep the emotions on the raw side and if it came out that way I must have done something right. I couldn't resist giving the girls just a little bit of time to be girls and just have fun before I dragged them under again though. Fun, then evil. Then possible snuggling. And I'm glad it's pulling up memories of the game. I had too much fun playing that and now that my nephew is I'm getting to relive it all over again in a slightly more 'who cares about chocobos, we've got a maniac to kill!' goal orientated way. Tae! LOL. Why? (said innocently) is there something wrong with UST? ;) I can't ask Cloud, you know. fairheartstrife - I don't know. You throw dark chocolate in there and I just might be swayed - lol. But welcome back and I'm glad you enjoyed the catch up. The following chapter mush is for you. falynn - w00t! welcome to the party/jungle/mad house! lol - yeah, Cloud isn't as innocent as Tifa thinks. It's fun to write. Your review left me goobsmacked and I'm beyond flattered. Thank you. Just... wow and thank you. I hope I live up to it. I've made a promise that short of ffnet woobles, I will update every Sunday night/Monday morning. So far, so good. jianre - there shall be MORE Yuffie and Zack team up in later chapters! I couldn't resist the two of them. And hey, there's a dedication in here for you that you've only been waiting for for months now ;) as for vincent.... well, he IS on the airship with Red.... lol demonegg - drat! you figured out my plot to have Cloud kidnapped by a lonely chocobo! curses for writer's intuition. I'll just have to throw in more 'Cloud fighting' bits to distract us all. vx-luna-xv - yeah, that is a creepy one. I think that little lantern weilding turtle without a shell scares everyone. as for the rest of the night... akuma - hey, snacks are in the fridge so help yourself! so glad you hopped on for the ride! Moar updates! Heck, with reviews like that, I'd be forced to update even if I hadn't already made a pact with my best beloveds. Thanks for the awesome words! Hope you enjoy the next chapters just as much._

_and a special congrats to Peeka-chan who couldn't beta edit me this time for a good cause. She's graduating, peeps! So break out the cake and ice cream and join the rest of the group having the party in chapter 80 to celebrate!_

Chapter 78: Shower Incident #3

They agreed to meet everyone that was running around the amusement park at the Haunted Hotel but it was also decided that Cloud should probably clean some of the blood and monster gore off himself and change before the real kids got back. Aerith suggested they all go to their rooms to freshen up but when Tifa tried to go with her to the room they were supposed to be sharing, Aerith put her hands on the backs of Tifa's shoulders and pushed her down the hall in the opposite direction. Shera watched expectantly from behind her, cheerful behind her large glasses.

"You go be with Cloud," Aerith stated and Tifa's cheeks heated.

"Aerith – " she protested. Even if it was what she really wanted. Aerith shook her head.

"Don't worry, Teef. We know you're not 'like that' with him. So it's okay. There's no reason you can't go make sure he actually takes care of himself instead of collapsing on the bed and going to sleep."

Shera nodded.

"It's why we made Leon go find Yuffie and Barrett. And then called Yuffie and told her to not be findable."

"You did what?" Tifa asked, on more solid footing now and Shera wiggled the PHS and smiled. Aerith grinned.

"Go on. We'll bring you clean clothes so the kids don't see you smeared with smeared monster goo. Go make sure Cloud isn't collapsed in a chair."

Even though she'd just kissed the man, apparently in front of a large number of viewers, Tifa still hesitated over simply walking up to his bedroom door and demanding he strip down and take a shower. Aerith solved the problem for her by having already pushed her in front of the door while she was arguing and now her friend knocked firmly on the door with a beatific smile.

"Aerith?!" Tifa protested as Shera made pleased humming sounds next to them and conveniently blocked Tifa from pulling a quick spin and getting out of the way.

"Tifa!" Aerith repeated in the same tone and then the door opened. Cloud stood on the other side of it, his shirt half unzipped and his feet bare, looking vaguely puzzled as he found three women outside his door. His eyes focused on Tifa and then, eyebrows rising, moved to Aerith as the obvious source of trouble.

"We need to use your shower," Aerith announced and Shera nodded enthusiastically from behind Tifa. "See, there's three of us and you know women take_ forever_ to shower. So we're going to split and Tifa's going to use your shower and Shera and me are going to take turns using ours. That way it's even and we'll all get done in time for dinner."

"uh-" was Cloud's response. Aerith gave Tifa a push toward him.

"We'll bring over clean clothes for her in a minute." With a last grin, as evil as – well, more evil than anything Tifa could think of, Aerith went swinging back to her room with Shera skipping along at her side. Tifa felt the heat spread up her throat and across her cheeks again and she looked up at Cloud where he stood in the doorway, looking vaguely puzzled. Then his blue eyes shifted to find her and his face softened. Tifa was suddenly aware of just how close Aerith had pushed her to him.

"So... you're sharing my shower?"

"Yes. No! Uh – " Tifa tripped over concepts and words were even further behind that. The edges of Cloud's lips twitched.

"We've got really nosy friend, don't we?"

It melted the awkwardness and she smiled.

"Yeah."

Cloud stepped away from the door and moved his head to indicate she should come in and suddenly it wasn't awkward at all. Just – just like coming home, comfortable and warm and relaxing. Tifa stepped into the room and saw it had three beds and a long, thin window at the other end from the door. Cloud shut the door behind her and watched as she wandered around the room, fingertips touching absently at things. She turned back to look at him over her shoulder and her face softened as she came back to him. Gentle, she rested her fingertips on his chest, careful to not touch skin.

"You should take your shower."

His hands came down and curved around her hips, drawing her closer to him.

"You first. It's a hotel so you don't have to worry about using up the hot water."

It made her smile and she found his eyes, shaking her head.

"If I take my shower first, you'll be asleep by the time I get out and you'll never get your shower."

Cloud's head lowered the short distance to hers so that she could feel the exhale of his words against her lips.

"You could always wake me up."

"You need your sleep," she whispered back, lifting her chin and she felt the way their lips brushed, barely there. She was starting to have to struggle to remember what they were talking about.

"I don't like sleeping without you against me." His lips brushed over hers again, soft and gentle.

"I don't either," she managed as she turned her face to follow his mouth with hers. She felt his smile just before her mouth found his and his lips answered without words then.

The knock at the door interrupted them and Cloud, who hadn't stepped far away from it, reached out and opened it without letting go of Tifa or raising his head. His hand came back with folds of cloth and he let the door swing shut on its own as his mouth returned to what had been interrupted. Which was making Tifa go completely and entirely boneless.

"Shower," he murmured against her mouth and she made a humming noise and didn't stop kissing. His hum was lower than hers and he started to step forward, stopping himself with a barely there laugh just before he had her up against the wall.

"Tifa… shower…"

"Mm," she agreed helpfully and her arms slipped up to slid around his shoulders. With a low exhale that sounded a little like a rumble, he wrapped both arms around her waist and lifted her just enough that her feet left the ground and her body was entirely against his and completely supported. She felt the hunger – and the restraint in him – and she simply loved him more for it. Still kissing her, he carried her into the bathroom and set her down. She felt tile under her soles and laughed against his mouth at his determination.

And then the water came on.

Tifa gave a stifled noise and jumped, eyes flying wide. Cloud tipped his head back out of the shower's stream and laughed. Really just laughed, full and rich and real.

Tifa thought it must be what heaven sounded like.

That didn't change the fact however that he'd turned the water on both of them and they were fully clothed and getting soaked.

"Cloud!" she protested, torn between laughing herself and absolute mortification. "What are you doing?"

"Torturing myself," he answered, still holding her against him as he reached past with the other hand to adjust the water temperature.

"But we're still dressed!"

Cloud's blue eyes looked down at her and she saw the laughter in them as he raised his pale brows at her. It struck her what her words could have been taken as then and her face, even dripping with water, went bright red. Light, she hit him on the arm and he grunted.

"I didn't mean it like that!" she laughed and he grinned as he looked down at her. Looking young and boyish with the light in his blue eyes and his pale hair plastered down against his face. Reaching up with both hands, he pushed the hair back from her face, still smiling at her.

"Now we don't have to argue about who gets the shower first."

"You're crazy," she told him and there were no shadows in his eyes as he pulled her close against him and covered her mouth with his again. Tifa raised her arms to wind them around his shoulders and answered without words.

Eventually they got around to washing each other's hair and laughed about the way they got soap taste in their mouths when they kissed. Tifa could tell that Cloud was being careful about his reactions to her and she was so grateful. To be able to be together and laugh and be silly – it made something in her soul settle completely.

She'd been... so scared for him...

She left him in the shower to finish cleaning up. Unlike her, who'd only gotten gore on the outside of her clothes and superficially on her skin, Cloud had been soaked through. So Tifa slipped out of the shower giggling – her – giggling! She hadn't known she could giggle. To her knowledge she'd never actually giggled before. But she did giggle as she slipped out of his reluctant arms and closed the shower door on him to gather up a couple of towels for herself and the haphazardly tossed clothes Aerith had sent over. Letting herself out of the bathroom she closed the door and checked the room before dropping the deadbolt into place. The last thing she wanted was Leon – or Zack or Barrett - letting themselves into the room at the wrong moment.

Satisfied, she moved over so she wasn't visible from the bathroom if the door opened and toweled off her hair before slipping out of her soaked clothes and quickly toweling off. She ran into problems however when she shook out the clothes Aerith had sent over.

For one – it was a dress.

For two – it was a short dress.

Tifa narrowed her eyes at it for a brief moment. Absolutely sure that she didn't own a dress like this. Her mind quickly jumped through her options however and it was either put it on, put back on her soaked clothes, or sneak out into the hall wrapped in nothing but a towel and demand Aerith give her real clothes. It took a very short amount of time – and the realization that Cloud usually took impossibly short showers – to have her slipping into the dress. Which was a very pretty blue and fit her. Indicating that her friend had bought it at some point intentionally for her. Tifa smoothed a hand down the soft fabric that swirled around her legs when she moved and couldn't decide if she should be angry or delighted.

There was a hairbrush in with the clothes and so she used it to comb out her hair. She was going to have to get it cut, it was really getting ridiculously long. She stood at the window as she worked the brush through its length and then there was a tapping at the bathroom door.

"It's safe," she called with a smile, feeling the joy bubbling in her veins. Cloud opened the door and came out, already dressed in a long sleeved shirt and dark pants. Apparently he'd already been getting ready to wash up when Aerith had showed up to commandeer his shower for her nefarious purposes. His hair was already starting to spike again as he rubbed a towel over it carelessly and he pulled to a stop as his eyes focused on her. Tifa suddenly felt self-conscious and put her hands behind her back, shifting on her toes.

"Aerith's fault," she apologized and Cloud came over to her, bare feet silent on the carpet, eyes young and holding something she couldn't read.

"It's blue," he managed and all of the sudden Tifa realized – he had memories of her in a blue dress from their childhood. She couldn't help the smile that bloomed and she twisted a little so that the skirt of the dress swayed.

"Do you like it?" she asked and his eyes found hers and suddenly flooded with pleasure and laughter. He scooped her up and spun her easily around the room and she put her hands on his shoulders and laughed.

"That's a 'yes'?"

"Yes," he agreed. Setting her down but only so that he could cup her face in his hands and kiss her. "Definitely yes."


	79. Chapter 79: Group Activities

_Jainre – this incident is all your fault.  
_

Chapter 79: Group Activities

Cloud had apparently already cleaned off his boots before he'd had his bathroom invaded but Tifa's sneakers had gotten soaked in the shower and they would have looked funny with the dress anyway. So she held them in one hand and rolled her clothes up in the towel she'd used to dry off and walked next door to the girls' room barefoot. Cloud walked next to her and they kept catching each other's eyes and trying not to smile like idiots. Shera opened the door when Tifa knocked, looking far too pleased with herself and grinned when she saw Tifa.

"See? It's much faster when we share," she told Tifa and Tifa had to try very hard not to look at Cloud because she knew she'd never be able to keep a straight face if she did.

"Mm," Cloud gave his opinion and Shera moved away from the door so everyone could come in. She was in a red dress that made her eyes sparkle and Aerith was in another pink dress and sitting on the bed brushing her hair. Her friend smiled at her when Tifa came in.

"Do you like the dress?" she asked and was so pleased with herself that Tifa finally gave in and laughed, moving over to throw her arms around her friend.

"You're so evil," she told her and Aerith hugged her back and grinned.

"I know. You adore me."

"Let me take those," Shera scooped the towel and shoes out of Tifa's hands and bustled over to hang them up. "You know, you didn't have to wash them over there. They've got a laundry service, Tifa."

Tifa must have hesitated just long enough because Aerith's eyes got wide and Tifa could all but see her friend's ears perking up. Quick, before the other woman could say anything, Tifa waved her hands.

"No. It's okay. I didn't mind."

"Do _you_ need laundry service?" Aerith asked Cloud, voice slow and mischievous.

"Uh, maybe?" he guessed and that was when Tifa realized –

"You left your clothes in a pile in a corner of the bathroom somewhere, didn't you, Cloud Strife?" she asked, hands on her hips as she turned to face him. His eyes narrowed in a wince and he rubbed at the back of his head.

"Uh, maybe?"

Tifa found herself stifling a laugh and she moved over to throw her arms around his shoulders and grin up at him. The 'little boy expecting a scolding' look didn't entirely vanish but a youthful smile joined it.

"You're terrible," she told him. Turned her head to look at the other two women that were grinning. "You're all terrible. It's wonderful."

"Group hug!" Aerith decided and jumped up to wrap her arms around Tifa and Cloud as well. A bit more hesitantly, Shera joined them and Tifa reached out to pull her close. Cloud looked a little overwhelmed by the influx of women and his cheeks whispered pink but after a moment of them not going away, he settled his arms around whoever was in range and relaxed. Tifa thought she couldn't imagine being happier. And then the door opened. Cloud tried to turn to look but he had women hanging on to him and so Tifa caught the first glance as she looked over his shoulder to see Denzel and Marlene and –

"**Yes**! Group hug!" Zack pumped his arms and then was suddenly through the door and tackling Cloud from behind and the children and Yuffie ran over laughing to join in the growing mass of people trying to keep their balance in the center of the room. Tifa was laughing, squeezed against everyone and she wasn't the only one. This was the way it was supposed to be, her mind whispered. This was always the way it was always supposed to be.

"Shit. What's this? Some kinda yuppie, tree huggin' hippy-fest?"

Tifa's head came up at the drawling voice and Shera let out a squeak.

"Captain?" Shera tried to untangle herself from the group but it wasn't easy. Somewhere against her side, Tifa was aware that Aerith was radiating just far too much satisfied pleasure.

"Uh..." Shera was trying to brush down her hair with her hands and her face was flushed red. Tifa, peeking over Cloud's shoulder, could easily see Leon and Cid standing in the doorway, Leon looking faintly amused and, perhaps, just a little lonely, and Cid looking faintly amused and, perhaps, as if he though they were all idiots.

"I thought the tram was broken," Shera managed and Leon shrugged.

"We found a way around it."

"We're men! Like we need a fuckin' tram," Cid inserted and then got whacked on the back of the head by Barrett who was just coming in as well.

"Watch yo' language. There's kids here."

Then Barrett got a look at the mass of bodies in the middle of the room and his eyebrows came down.

"You all are a bunch of fuckin' nuts," was his opinion but he looked vaguely amused.

Aerith managed to extract herself with a laugh and she caught at Zack's arm to pull him off of Cloud.

"Come on! We're all dressed up! I want to go out to dinner! I want everyone to come to dinner and I want to sit around a big table and laugh and talk and drink too much!" She gave Zack's arm a tug and he looked down at her with a big smile.

She's comfortable around him, Tifa realized. Now that she knows he's not who she remembers, she's comfortable around him. And on the tail of that was the horrifying realization that the two biggest instigators in her life now seemed to be in league. Zack grinned down at Aerith.

"If the lady wants to get smashed, I say we all go get smashed. Let's do it!"

Marlene looked up from where she was tucked backward under Cloud's arm.

"We're not allowed to get smashed," she informed him pertly. "Tifa says not until we're old enough to clean up our own puke."

Tifa winced a little at this true quote and its indication on her parenting skills but Zack just nodded.

"Well, what about adults? Are they allowed to get smashed?"

"Oh sure," Marlene dismissed it with a roll of her eyes and also dismissed the last semblance of 'good parenting' Tifa thought she might have had clinging to her as her little sister continued. "Adults get smashed all the time. That's when we go through their pockets."

"Hot shit!" Cid started to laugh and Tifa felt her cheeks got bright red.

"It's just to pay the drinking bill and hire someone to walk them home," she explained but didn't think it would save her reputation at all.

"You have got the best family in the world!" Zack told Marlene and she smiled and nodded.

"I know."

"Weren't we going to dinner?" Tifa asked and Zack turned his attention on her and grinned.

"Looking hot tonight, Teef. Want to leave the boring guy you're with? I've got another arm."

She laughed at him and relaxed against Cloud, realizing that, though everyone else had backed out of the hug, he still had his arms around her and the children. And that they were still wrapped around him as well.

"No, thanks, Zack." She gave him a grin. "I like where I am right now."

"I know," he gave her a real smile that wrinkled the skin at the edges of his eyes. "I knew you two would work it out." His chin jerked at Cloud and the mischief returned to his eyes. "Just needed Cumulus here to stop fu- funning around."

"Dinner!" Aerith was getting insistent and Zack let her tug him toward the door. When Aerith suddenly spun around it was so well choreographed that Tifa could see trouble coming a mile away.

"But wait- " Aerith protested as the rest of the group staggered to a stop behind her, trying not to become a pile up. "Shera needs an escort. I mean, I've got one and Tifa's got one. It's not fair that – "

"Oh" Zack gestured widely and dramatically with his hand. "She can come with me. I'm sure Barrett will be happy to escort you instead, Aerith. Shera, my love?" he turned expectantly.

"Like hell you will," Cid interjected, almost spitting out his cigarette before he remembered they were inside. With a sour look at the ex-SOLDIER, he offered his arm to the tiny woman. "Come on, Shera. Don't need some spiky haired, randy, full of shit, smooth talkin' kid botherin' ya. I'll walk ya in."

"Old people get cranky when it's past their bedtime," Zack told Marlene and Denzel in a stage whisper. Then he turned to Aerith and announced:

"I've been rejected. Take me back and comfort my wounded heart?"

Aerith shrugged one shoulder and smiled happily.

"Sure."

And just like that the group was underway again, like theatergoers at an intermission. Cloud looked over at Tifa as Shera shyly took Cid's arm and he gruffly escorted her out.

"Your friend's been busy," he offered insightfully and Tifa laughed and slipped both arms around his.

"Understatement" she agreed.

"But – but – who's going to escort _me_?" Yuffie wanted to know.


	80. Chapter 80: It Don't Mean a Thing

_those of you that read kimouski's OPT war... where did you think I got it? ;)_

Chapter 80: It Don't Mean a Thing

Denzel ended up escorting Yuffie to dinner and Barrett escorted Marlene. Shera had the vouchers that Dio had given them and they ended up at a very nice restaurant. Tifa wondered about the wisdom of that choice. Usually when she went out it was to kid friendly places – often because having Barrett along meant you had to be around things that were meant to be unbreakable. But Aerith led them all to one of the nicest places there and cheerfully ordered a large table for all of them. The host looked at them with concern and Tifa almost hoped he'd tell them the tables were all full but whatever was on the vouchers Shera flashed had them at a very nice table on the veranda of the restaurant. Above, the night was full of stars and music whispered out through the open glass doors. Cloud and Zack shifted uncomfortably in their seats for a while.

The staff had made them leave their swords in the 'coat room'.

Tifa looked around their table and thought what an odd group they made. Cid was cheerfully chain smoking and insulting the 'hoity toity staff' while Shera tried her best to keep him from saying anything in front of said staff. Barrett was growling at the wine list. Leon was pretending he had accidentally sat at the table without realizing he'd get stuck with the strangers that were already there. Denzel, Marlene, and Yuffie were snorting laughter over some of the names of items on the menu. Zack was blowing bubbles in his complimentary glass of water and Aerith was practically glowing as she giggled at his antics. Under the table, Tifa felt Cloud's hand slip around hers, warm and strong and she turned her head to give him a smile, feeling content and full surrounded by her friends and the people she loved.

"Feels right, doesn't it?" Cloud's soft voice asked and she nodded, knowing he understood. After all they'd been through – how could they not savor this moment? She watched Cloud's eyes drift over the table and watched the way his lips relaxed into a quiet smile.

Dinner was a group affair with everyone passing food around from their plates for everyone else to taste. Or at least the women did and the men were subjected to it with various degrees of grace on their part. No one's food was sacred and that included the food Zack tried to defend with his elbows out and his hands hovering over his plate. He was no match for Aerith though. Watching them laughing and joking together – in a way it made Tifa's chest ache. This was what her friend had had once – or, if not 'this', than something a great deal like it. A man that laughed and joked and teased and treasured her. What she'd had – and what she'd lost. And Tifa wondered if it hurt, even as it made her friend laugh, to have it again – and yet not have it again at all.

She also noticed that Zack was careful. It was only something someone that had known him a long time would notice but he was. He was flirting and laughing and teasing – and he was keeping a very definite boundary in front of himself. Tifa wondered what it felt like – knowing that when someone looked at you with shining eyes it was because they were seeing a ghost at the edges? In a way, it was a bittersweet moment and it broke her heart for both of them even as it made it lighter to see them both smiling honestly.

After dinner came dessert and then it was definitely every man for himself as the women insisted on sharing that as well. Cloud gave most of his cheesecake up with good-natured resignation and Zack's peanut butter pie slice disappeared despite his best attempts to defend it. Even Cid pretended not to notice when Shera carefully swiped a bit of his 'terror me sue'. The drinks came steadily too though some parts of the table drank more than other parts. Cloud had his usual single glass that sat in front of him the whole night and Tifa worked her way slowly through a single glass of wine. The kids abstained by choice while Yuffie abstained by big brother decree. Everyone else had a little bit and even Aerith's eyes had the shiny glitter to them by the time dessert was finished. It was more than the flower girl usually drank but Tifa wasn't alarmed. She knew how much it took to get her friend drunk and she wasn't near there yet - even if it was a little strange because Aerith usually didn't drink at all.

"Come on," Aerith pushed away from the table after everyone was quieting down after the latest joke and tugged on Zack's arm. "I want to dance."

Zack looked surprised and then thought it over before shrugging easily and standing up himself to offer his arm.

"If the lady wants to dance, dance we will."

And with that he led her over to the cleared spot between their table and the railing and spun her so that she laughed. Tifa watched it with a smile and yet, a part of her was nagging. Worried over something nameless she couldn't put her finger on.

"You should ask Tifa to dance," Yuffie informed her big brother and Cloud just gave her a dry look.

"You just want me out of the way so you can order a drink," he stated calmly and she pouted. Which meant he was right.

"You should still dance with her. It's sweet and romantic and gooey. I mean come on! You owe her!"

"I do?"

"Yes." Yuffie sighed it as if he was dense for not figuring it out on his own. "Her love gave you the strength to defeat all those monsters today!"

The story of Cloud's arena time had been told in very edited version during dinner. Tifa had had to fight squirming when Aerith had mentioned her part in it all.

"Yuffie, I don't think – " she began and the other girl interrupted her with hissing noises and flapping hands.

"Tifa, he owes you! Don't let him get out of it!"

Cloud appeared to contemplate this for a long moment before he looked at his little sister.

"And this… debt. Dancing pays it off?"

"Of course not!" Yuffie was pleased. "Dancing with her just _starts_ to pay it back. Cause, you know, it takes like a lot of little romantic gestures to pay back her big, big one."

"I don't think that's the way it works – "

"Tifa!" Yuffie looked at her strictly. "Don't ruin this for women all over the world everywhere. Everyone knows guys are supposed to pay back for big mushy acts like yours."

"Right," Cid surprised them all by agreeing. "Cause when the dame gives you good, ya gotta give it right back. Good!"

It was obvious he'd hit his limit about two glasses of that 'froo froo green shit' ago but he was nodding sagely, albeit a bit cross-eyed.

"She did you an' now ya gotta do her, Spike."

Everyone squinted at the unintentional innuendo except the kids and Yuffie who just looked confused.

"Mentioning I can't dance isn't going to make a difference at this point, is it?" Cloud rubbed at the back of his neck as he finally asked it to ease the awkward, contemplative silence that followed Cid's statement. Yuffie gave a snort. Barrett however, who wasn't far behind Cid, looked a bit blurrily over at Tifa and frowned.

"Don' see how smashin' her toes is romantic," he gave the most sensible statement of the evening. Fortunately, he was ignored. Cloud frowned and then looked over at Cid.

"I'll dance," he agreed calmly to the collective gasp of the table. "When you do."

"What tha- shit – You mean – damn it!"

Everyone turned expectant eyes on Cid. Except for Shera who was very definitely fascinated by something overhead.

"Ah, fuck this. It's worth it to see ya make an ass of yourself." Cid lurched to his feet and rested a hand on the back of Shera's chair. "Come on, Shera. Let's show these squirts how it's really done."

Shera looked up with huge eyes behind her glasses but Cid was already yelling at a nearby waiter to put on some 'real music like the big bands play'. Apparently those vouchers covered a lot because shortly thereafter the music's volume grew a little and changed to trumpets and drums along with the strings that had already been playing. Cid nodded his approval and led a flushed and pleased looking Shera over to where Aerith and Zack were already swinging away to the new music style.

"I really can't dance," Cloud leaned over to murmur it cautiously in Tifa's ear and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Neither can I."

"Oh, me! I want to go! Leon!"

"No."

"Oh, come on!" Yuffie pleaded and the stoic man just looked at her with flat eyes. "Fine!" She pouted for the space of an eyelash flicker and then yelled:

"Come on, Denzel!" She grabbed the unsuspecting boy by his hand before he had a chance to plead ignorance or two left feet and dragging him out on to the floor. It was soon apparent that neither of them could dance either – at least not the way Shera and Cid were swinging and twirling around the floor but it was also quickly equally apparent that Yuffie at least, didn't care.

"Wha- ? Ohhhh, Marlene. Really?"

Tifa turned to see Marlene giving Barrett her 'big brown eyes' and the giant of a man melted like spilled ice cream during a hot summer day on a Costa del Sol sidewalk. Shortly after, Marlene was twirling around the dance floor with Barrett providing the hand to hang on to while she did. Leon rubbed at his chin.

"I need a camera," he opinionated calmly.

Tifa grinned at him and looked back at the now crowded dance floor as her friends and family tried not to run into each other. It made her heart bubble happily in her chest to see everyone that way. So – happy and carefree… Tonight had been – just right. Just absolutely right and she was already burying it deep in her heart to remember for the rest of her life. Cloud was watching things with narrowed eyes and then he pushed back from the table.

"All right." He stood up and offered his hand and Tifa looked at him in surprise. He was concentrating on careful study of the people on the dance floor.

"Cloud?"

"Right. It doesn't look that hard." He sounded more as if he were being challenged to a sword duel than a dance. "I mean, not the Cid stuff but all Zack is doing is spinning Aerith. He hardly has to move. It can't be that hard."

Tifa looked down at her napkin as she stood up to hide the smile she couldn't seem to stop from taking over her lips. Cloud caught it anyway and seemed torn between a scowl and a goofy grin. He settled for clearing his throat and taking her hand. She followed him to the impromptu dance floor and caught Aerith's blinding grin as her friend spun by with Zack as the trumpets blew and someone sang about a 'boogie woogie bugle boy'. Cloud looked at the rest of the dancers on the floor and then very deliberately put his hand on Tifa's waist and took her other hand in his. He looked so determined and so studious, Tifa didn't know if she'd ever seen him cuter than in this moment with his 'little boy' look. Then he dipped his head down to look at their feet and began the very simple motions of backward, side to side, forward. Something Barrett was doing with Marlene on top of his feet. Tifa tried not to laugh and carefully followed his lead. She hadn't lied – she really didn't know how to dance. Of course she'd danced with Aerith from time to time before on the rare nights they'd gone out to a dance club but that was just moving your body and making sure guys didn't act like you were a leg and they were a dog. It wasn't – it wasn't _real _dancing. Not with a partner and actual coordination.

"Boring!" Zack sang as he swung by with Aerith. Cloud exhaled and looked hopelessly up at Tifa. She couldn't stop her laughter anymore and slipped forward to wrap her both of arms around his shoulders.

"He only says that because he doesn't know what a great shower kisser you are," she teased him and watched his rare grin break free for a moment.

"Screw Zack," Cloud decided and wrapped his arms around her waist to lift her off her feet the way he had to carry her into the bathroom earlier. It made her laugh and in response Cloud spun. Which had her squeaking a noise and hanging on to him, sure he'd get dizzy and drop her. He didn't – but he did chuckle quietly and she buried her face in his hair with a grin and held him tight.

"You make me so happy, Cloud Strife," she told him and felt his content inhale as he held her.

"It's what I want," he answered her in a murmur.

The music broke to start the next song and in a cheerful voice next to them Reno asked:

"Mind if I cut in, yo?"


	81. Chapter 81: Turks

_okay. Since my work schedule is getting more erratic than a three legged chicken at an Octoberfest dance, I'm throwing these chapters up now before anything happens. I know, I know, ya'll wanted to wait until late tonight. Sorry. Jianre - yep. Reno surprised me too. But he's here now and intent on staying so what's a girl to do? and... no group hug would be complete without Zack, right? I'll be working with my boss tonight but I'll try to get your latest chapters reviewed. Reno's been busy apparently. Jini! how you make me grin like an idiot with your reviews. Yes, Cloud tries to be a gentleman but sometimes he's just too male. I'm sure Tifa will forgive him ;) I see Aerith as pure evil but delighted to be so. The writers that make her innocent and bland really do her a disservice I think. Glad you approve. And chapter 83 is for you. Mush away. OCV - glad I'm keeping you happy. And sure I've got a social life too. My other friends just occassionally have to listen to me gush on and on about fictional characters and story ideas is all - lol. Hey, love a writer, put up with the controlled schitzophrenia, right? And, Peeka-chan is my beta (Aw-some!) and we just exhange chapters and corrections through the email on our own. It seemed easier than involving ffnet. Vanillia Raindrop - welcome, welcome! Cold drinks are in the fridge and we might even have some leftover cake from Peeka-chan's party last week ;) Glad you're enjoying and thanks for giving the story a chance. We've come a long way and a LOT further than I'd ever expected but it's fun, so why not? Iskra - hope the final went well! We'll have cake and ice cream for you too - any excuse to party. And yeah, my Clouds and their showers. lol demonegg - aaaaand - here's Cissinei. Your writer/reader instincts were right. and - you know I just couldn't resist the blue dress ;) falynn - oh... dear. All the happiness tipped you off about the upcoming angst, eh? Let's just say, after I drop chapter 95 in a couple of weeks on all of my readers I'm going to disappear into a bunker somewhere and hide under a bed. Just sayin! Glad you're enjoying and yep, Cid's a trip and hey, someone needed to be sacrificed to Yuffie's dancing queen. writer! - hugs or cookies, whichever you prefer. The DETAILS! I love the details you put in your reviews. I couldn't resist remembering/describing the rooms at the Haunted Hotel. I really couldn't. And I'm so glad you're enjoying/approving of the way the different characters are coming across. Sometimes I feel bad for not giving Cid, Barret, etc. enough screen time so I'm glad that when they do show up to play they do well. oceanee - reviews for every chapter! And so full of details too! My happy little writer heart pulses along merrily. I can't decide who's more trouble for Tifa - Aerith or Marlene - lol. They both keep her honest at least ;) Dis - lol. I don't remember how the question came up either but you've mentioned in my reviews at least that you're male (usually when you're egging Cloud on). Intelligent reviews are always shared about ;) and - there ya go. Right hook to Reno's jaw. Though... not quite the way you'd expected. I think you'll approve though. Fairheartstrife - YAH!! I'm glad you had fun along with everyone else. Though - wow, the next dozen or so chapters are going to be rough on you. don't worry though - I'm keeping the mush and no one can take that away from us! skykhanhunter - glad you liked! Zack's a trip and writes himself most of the time. Frankly, none of the characters really listen to me anymore. Makes for a more interesting story anyway ;) akuma - LOL - don't worry, I have not lost my love of cliffhangers. But I think we're safe for the next couple of weeks. Glad you're along for the ride. I think Tifa will help you chase Reno with that big stick. Peeka-chan! now you are finally free and I missed you last week but the reviews made me very, very happy. I figure Aerith is the instigator but you know Shera's just been waiting to break out and be bad. Tae - hee! well, cloud's got priorities ;) We like him that way. mc - welcome to the dark side :) :'D - let the good times roll. The entire group is so intent on each other's business, aren't they? It's fun to write when they're all being devious about getting the different couples together. vxlunaxv - Tifa and Cloud have something weird going on with showers. Still haven't figured it out but... zi-lang - how you were missed!! Oh so much! Can't even tell you. But welcome back, welcome back! We need to throw another party I think! Ice cream cake and root beer all around, yo!! No t-rexs invited ;) and now... on with the show..._

Chapter 81: Turks

Tifa was suddenly on her feet and Cloud was letting go of her with one hand to reach for the sword he wasn't wearing on his back, eyes narrowing down into instantaneous, electric aqua. Tifa had no such issues and just as Reno was grinning and asking:

"So, didja miss me, yo?"

She was swinging a fist with all the force of her entire body behind it in an uppercut that she'd perfected on dozens of monsters. She was a lot stronger and better trained now than she'd been in the slums of Midgar and it actually sent Reno up and backward into a nearby table. Without her gloves on, it had hurt but she regretted not having the gloves on more because the gloves had hard, pointy things built into the knuckles of them thanks to Cloud's constant upgrades. It didn't matter. She was still going to kick his ass. She was in the process of lunging forward to do just that, when a woman called out:

"Wait!"

Even that wouldn't have stopped her but Cloud's hand on her shoulder did. A petite red headed woman with short ringlet curls to her shoulders darted in front of Reno as he shook his head and pulled himself to his feet. Tifa recognized her too.

"Cissnei – "

"We're not here for that," the red head held up her hands in their fingerless gloves. Face sincere. "We're really not."

"What? Not here to get your teeth knocked in for trying to kill my family?"

For once, Tifa wasn't feeling like the diplomatic member of the party and she didn't unclench her fists or drop out of her fighting stance. She might be in a short skirt but that wasn't going to stop her from kicking them all into next week.

"Business, Teef," Reno was rubbing his jaw as he came to stand, sensibly, behind Cissnei.

"Do they look like 'business'?" Tifa snapped it as she gestured at her siblings. "Do they, Reno? Because they look like little kids to me! My kids, you son of a bitch!"

"Our kids," Cloud corrected, voice so calm it was terrifying. "Get out."

"Cloud – " Cissnei stopped herself from extending her hand. His hand stayed on Tifa's shoulder and his voice stayed low and flat.

"Out. Before I kill you."

The delicate woman took an involuntary step backward and Tifa saw the pain on her face and in her eyes. She understood – and if it had been anything else – she might have felt empathy. But they'd tried to kill her family and while she didn't take Cissnei's part in it personally – she defiantly took Rude and Reno's part in it very, very personally.

"Hey, I get it. Bad guys, yo." Reno was wiggling his jaw with his fingers. "But this is about bigger bad guys. Like Sephiroth."

Tifa felt Cloud go very still next to her but she also felt the coiling control and knew it wasn't because he was standing down.

"Better make it fast then," Zack's voice spoke and it sounded just as angry as Cloud's controlled voice had implied. "'Cause from where I'm standing, you're still due for us taking turns pounding your heads into the floor."

"Zack… " Cissnei's eyes were broken and coming up to stand next to Tifa, he shook his head.

"Not interested, Cissnei. You knew I was a fake and you never told me." The last four words were so full of pain and anger that it hurt Tifa's heart to hear it. "All that time you pretended to be my friend and you never told me. As if what you'd done to Tifa wasn't bad enough. Have you met her brother and sister? Her dad? What about all those people who didn't make it off of the Plate or out of Sector Seven in time? How can you even sleep at night?"

"Booze," Reno answered at the same time Cissnei answered:

"I don't."

The mixed confession, for just a moment, stilled the angry team in front of them. Cid picked up on things a little bit slower than everyone else.

"These are the fuckers that dropped the Plate and tried to kill me!?" he asked.

"Look, man, hate us or don't," Reno was being diplomatic. "Point is we've got bigger fish to fry, yo. You work with us, we put off arresting you for blowing shit up."

It was probably the wrong thing to say because everyone in the front line tensed and it was more that it was an excuse to get into the fight than because they were worried about being taken in. At the moment, the Turks were outnumbered. Cissnei held up her hands.

"Stop. Please. Everyone." Her eyes found Cloud's. "Please."

"Be specific," his emotionless voice answered and Cissnei's eyes flickered with hurt before she straightened.

"All right. President Shinra has agreed to put all previous warrants regarding your group on hold for the duration of our mission. While you operate with the Turks and the Shinra Corporation in hunting down and removing the threat of Sephiroth, ex-general of SOLDIER, no actions will be taken against you. The agreement depends on your cooperation with Shinra during the time period specified and is subject to renegotiation after the goals of the mission have been reached."

"No." Cloud's answer was immediate and final and he didn't even have to look at the others. He straightened from his fighting stance and started to turn away from the Turks. "Let's go."

"Wait!" Cissnei stepped forward and she caught at Cloud's arm with her hand. His head turned and he looked down at her. "Please, don't do this, Strife. Please don't. Take the deal."

"You should listen to her, Blondie," Reno warned and Cloud's blue eyes shifted to puncture the man with his look.

"Why? We already know what we're doing. We know where we're going. We'll take care of Sephiroth ourselves. And then we'll come take care of you." There was something very final and cold in his statement even though his voice didn't change at all and Tifa wondered what had changed for Cloud. He'd been opposed to Shinra before but now – now there was something unbending about it. Something final.

"I didn't want it to be this way," Cissnei told him and her own voice was cold in reaction to his. She held up a little black item in her hand and it was a cell phone.

"Go ahead," her voice was calm and Tifa felt herself tensing. There wasn't a burst of sudden soldiers or an explosion though. Instead:

"Hello? Well, I really don't know what you want me to say. Hello?"

"Mom!" Aerith sprang forward with a stricken noise and Cissnei stepped back from the woman, phone still held open.

"Aerith! Oh, baby, it's so good to hear you. Are you eating well? You just ignore these ratty men in their pompous suits and you go do – "

Cissnei snapped the cell phone shut and looked calmly at the group. For a long moment, there was utter silence. Even the music had been turned off at some point.

"You – _horrible_ people!" It burst out of Aerith. Even furious she couldn't bring herself to curse but having Aerith call someone horrible was just as foul somehow. "She's just a little old lady!"

"A little old broad that was harboring the last Ancient as well as fugitives from Shinra justice, yo," Reno inserted and Tifa reached over to the table next to her and threw a glass at him before she even thought about it. "Hey!" he raised his arms to deflect it and it broke. Zack scratched at the back of his head and then rolled his neck and shoulders.

"So we kill them and then go save Mom?" he asked conversationally. Reno stayed where he was because he thought Zack was joking but Cissnei apparently knew him well enough to know he wasn't because she took a step back. Cloud looked over at Aerith who was looking at him with her heart in her eyes, her fists clenched and shaking at her sides and then he turned his head to look at Leon, who nodded. Cloud leaned down and scooped up Marlene in his arms and his eyes met Denzel's. The boy immediately scooted closer to take his other hand.

"Come on," Cloud's voice was inflectionless. He turned and headed for the door and the rest of the team followed him. Over his shoulder he commented to the Turks standing behind. "You can tag along. Just don't get in the way."


	82. Chapter 82: Hopes and Dream Exit

Chapter 82: Hopes and Dreams Exit

They went back to their hotel rooms first and Cloud didn't let go of Denzel or set Marlene on her feet until they were in front of the door to the women's room.

"You two don't go out of either Tifa or my sight unless you're with two others from the group," he told them seriously and they both looked up at him with wide eyes and nodded. He looked at Tifa over their heads.

"Shinra doesn't need any more leverage than it already has."

It made Tifa feel sick to her stomach and mad at the same time – which was an odd combination – and she nodded and rested a hand on each of her siblings' shoulders. Then Cloud looked past her to Aerith.

"It's okay," he promised her softly. "We'll get your mom back."

She nodded back firmly but once the men had left and the women were alone in their room, Aerith burst into tears and threw a bottle that had been sitting on the dresser.

"Those – horrible people!" she swore it again. "Mom must be so – so furious with them. And I bet she's still making them tea – "

It said something about Aerith's mother that 'furious' was the word she'd be and not 'scared' and Tifa thought Aerith was right. She also knew her friend was crying and angry at the same time and she wrapped her arms around Aerith and held her tightly until her friend stopped trying to get away and just collapsed onto her shoulder to cry. Polished, pink nails dug into the fabric of her dress.

"It's not fair – it's not. They already have Papa. And now they've got Mom too. It's not fair."

"I know, I know," Tifa agreed, stroking her hair while she held her tight. Aerith was always so full of smiles and light – people forgot how much it cost her to be that way sometimes. "It's not right. But we'll make right. We will. And we'll let Elmyra shake her finger at them afterward and tell them how disappointed their parents must be in them. Right after we kick their butts."

It made Aerith choke a laugh and she held on to Tifa tightly. Tifa held her back and shut her eyes tightly. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

When had things gotten so _big_?

There was a knock at the door and Tifa turned her head toward it, realizing they hadn't even started to pack up their wet clothes yet or anything but Shera just shook her head and pointed to Denzel who was already holding a packed duffle bag. Apparently she'd done it while Tifa and Aerith had talked.

"Don't worry, Aerith," Yuffie came over now that the first storm was over. "I'm the White Rose of Wutai, the Great Ninja Yuffie. We'll get your mom back and then you and her can come and live in Wutai! We'll get your old room back and everything! You'll see, it'll be fun again. I promise."

The younger girl was so sincere that Aerith couldn't seem to help but smile weakly and she rubbed her hands over her cheeks while Shera went and got the door. Marlene went over and silently wrapped her arms around Aerith's waist and Aerith hugged her back. Cloud and Leon were in the doorway and both of them had their swords strapped over their backs.

"Cid and Zack have gone to get the airship. Barrett is following the Turks around and being annoying," Leon told them as both of the men stepped into the room and Shera shut the door behind them. Tifa was amazed at how quickly the entire team shifted from careless celebration to defensive, battle oriented. It broke a little part of her heart and yet the greater part of her was proud and relieved. 'Normal' was something other people got to be.

Denzel scooted over to Cloud and unconsciously assumed the same pose the taller blond was in. Unlike Zack, when Cloud was getting ready to go on the defensive it usually just looked like he was standing there. If you didn't know to pay attention to the way his feet were placed or the way his shoulders were shifted. Aerith went over and reached under the bed to pull out the box they'd gotten from Dio and opened it. Then she stood up and pressed the box against her chest.

"Do we have a plan?" she asked and Leon nodded but held up his hand in a negative motion and tapped his ear.

"Sure," he answered. "We do what we were going to do anyway and we deal with Shinra afterward. On the upside, we won't have to explain why we've suddenly got Turks with us since everyone in our party was at the dinner and already knows."

"Yuffie – " Cloud interrupted his sister just as she started to blurt –

"But what about - ?"

"We'll find something for your airsickness," he finished the sentence and Yuffie gave him a puzzled look before the light dawned in her eyes. Right about then, it dawned on Aerith too and her eyes got big and hopeful as she clapped a hand silently over her mouth. Leon nodded silently.

"We're a small group but we're versatile," Cloud told her softly with a nod and compassion in his eyes. Aerith nodded with tears in her eyes. They had two aces up their sleeves. Tifa thought Red and Vincent would be an unusual team – but the Turks didn't know about either of them. Or if they knew about Red they'd only think of him as an animal and Tifa didn't think they'd care if he wasn't still with the group. Tifa just hoped Aerith's mom was used to strange things. She had an idea that when the two of them showed up to rescue her it would be quite a show.

"When this is all over," Aerith raised a finger. "That smug little red head is mine."

"The natural one or the dye job?" Tifa asked and Aerith smiled and relaxed a little.

"Come on," Cloud moved to the door and opened it, moving through first to take up position in the hallway. The rest of the team filed out as well and together they moved through the building and up the stairs until they reached the roof. Aerith tucked the box into Denzel's duffle bag and Tifa raised her eyes to see incoming lights. The roof wasn't big enough for it to land. Instead, the _Highwind_ hovered overhead and dropped down a rope ladder just as the Turks and their gun-toting escort arrived. Chivalry went quickly out the window as Tifa pointed out everyone else was going to have to climb up first and _then_ the women in the dresses would come up. Cissnei didn't smirk that she was the only female in appropriate attire and Tifa almost wished she would. She really wanted to be able to dislike the other woman without feeling petty.

The kids went up the ladder first with an adult climbing just under them. Cloud followed Marlene and then Leon followed Denzel. Zack was waiting at the top and helped haul everyone on board. Except Reno. Apparently the dark haired ex-SOLDIERs manners were strong enough to cover women but not other guys he viewed as the enemy. Tifa came up the ladder last and he leaned close as he helped her onboard.

"We left our Hopes and Dreams behind," he told her with a wink and she exhaled.

"Is that what we're calling them?" she asked under the cover of the noise the ship made as it lifted directly upward and Zack grinned.

"I am."

Red probably wouldn't care but she had to wonder what Vincent would make of the entire bad joke. She wasn't even going to encourage Zack by asking who he'd named 'Hopes' and who he'd named 'Dreams'. Though – it wasn't exactly a bad moniker. Vincent and Red were carrying the team's hopes with them.

Then Tifa shivered and wrapped her hands around Zack's arm.

"Come on," she told him. "I've got to get back into some real clothes."

Tifa went below deck and changed back into her regular clothes and felt much better. She also slid her fighting gloves on and checked the materia in them. She didn't believe for a second that the Turks were just going to play fair suddenly or have the slightest compunction about throwing them all under any moving vehicle if it got the 'job' done. Then she looked around the room.

This was the 'girls' room. Did that mean Cissnei was going to sleep in here with them and Reno was going to try to bunk down with the guys? Tifa wasn't sure how she felt about sleeping in the same room as the other woman – and it didn't have anything to do with her being a Turk.

It had to do with Cloud…

Tifa exhaled and congratulated herself on having gone almost an entire half hour before she'd let that part rise to the surface. Here they were worrying about Aerith's mother and some insane top SOLDIER and she was thinking about the mystery past between the man she loved and the woman that was holding her friend's mother hostage.

Way to focus on the big, important things, Tifa, she mentally chided herself.

"Stop sighing and help me find a way to hide this," Aerith requested and Tifa looked up from lacing her shoes and saw her friend had the 'key' out of its box and was holding it in her hands.

"Sorry," Tifa winced at herself and scooted over to sit next to her friend on the bunk. Gingerly, she reached out and touched the strangely shaped thing. It was an odd item and Tifa wasn't sure what kind of key it was supposed to be. It looked a bit like a twig about the size of her hand and it slowly spiraled all the way down its length. "It's too big to wear as a necklace charm," she offered after a minute. It was a strange pearly color and felt cool to her fingers. Aerith cradled it in her hands and looked down at it.

"I don't want to put it somewhere it might get broken," Aerith agreed. "Or stab me if I fell on it."

"I bet they're going to go through all of our stuff as soon as we leave it alone," Tifa gave the professional opinion of someone that had grown up in the slums and Aerith nodded. Both of the girls stared at it for a long moment more and then, very hesitantly, Tifa said:

"What if – do you think we could put it in your hair? You know, tie the ribbon around it and then braid your hair around it? So it was in the middle of your braid? It might poke you in the back of the neck though…"

Aerith frowned at it and turned it over experimentally in her hands.

"I can't think of anything better," she admitted.

"Okay, turn around," Tifa instructed and soon was combing out her friend's hair. Denzel had gone with Zack but Marlene had stayed with them and she crawled up onto the bed in front of Aerith now. Aerith handed her the 'key' to hold and she toyed with it.

"You always wear the same ribbon," she commented as Tifa took the key from her and started to weave the ribbon around it. Aerith nodded and her eyes went soft and sad.

"A boy I cared about a great deal gave it to me."

All this time and Tifa had never known that. It made her throat tight and she concentrated on what she was doing. Marlene looked up at the brunette and asked innocently:

"The man that looked like Zack?"

Aerith went very quiet for a minute and then she softly answered:

"Yes. The man that looked like Zack."


	83. Chapter 83: Mako Green

Chapter 83: Mako Green

Once they were all ready to go again, all three of the girls headed up to the bridge. Most of the party was already there except for Shera and Yuffie. Tifa wasn't sure where Shera had gotten off to but Yuffie was probably in her usual spot in the bathroom. Both of the Turks were there as well and Reno was just in the process of commenting:

"So this is what it looks like, yo. Never even got a chance to be on the president's new boat before you guys hijacked it."

"She's too good for the likes of you shit ass monkeys anyway," Cid fired back. "She couldn't wait to leave you losers."

Tifa was only half paying attention however. Cloud was standing at the front of the ship with his sword slung across his back.

And Cissnei was standing next to him.

It made Tifa draw back instinctively and then she told herself to grow a backbone. He'd sided with her over the female Turk at the dinner, hadn't he? That meant something. Didn't it?

Who was it who'd said that hatred and love were almost the same?

And why was she thinking about that now?

She moved over to stand next to Zack, who had his arms folded loosely over his chest and his legs braced apart. She'd swear he was posing except he was always in a noble position of one kind or another. He looked down as she joined him and then reached out to ruffle Marlene's hair with a smile. Denzel was standing over near the ship's pilot watching in fascination and Zack gestured.

"He's going to be driving this thing in no time."

It made Tifa smile and then she noticed her friend drifting over to stand near the pilot. Aerith said something softly to him and he glanced over at Cid. Taking his cue, Cid left off his berating of Reno and walked over to join them. Tifa watched as he nodded and the pilot turned back to listen to Aerith's instructions. Zack frowned.

"It's the middle of the night. She doesn't need to be doing that right away. We can wait until tomorrow to go treasure hunting," he muttered and, after a minute more, strode over to join the growing group at the wheel. Tifa watched him go and agreed with him. They needed to find the temple but it didn't make sense draining themselves before they even got there if they didn't have to. They could take one night's worth of sleep.

It would also buy their Hopes and Dreams a bit more time to get to Midgar.

"So, your blond dishwasher is an escaped lab sample too, huh?"

She turned her head to see Reno had wandered over to join her and was also watching Cissnei and Cloud. She frowned at him and laid a hand on Marlene's shoulder. He pretended not to notice. After a minute, he commented softly:

"You know, Teef – you can hate me if you want. Just as long as it's okay for everyone that had family in that reactor you blew up to hate you too."

His light colored eyes turned on her and, instead of being mocking or derisive, they were sad.

She gave him a sharp look and he shrugged.

"At the end of the day, dead is dead. You figure that out pretty fast in my line of work. Why they're dead doesn't matter to them."

He paused.

"You ever want someone to get drunk with so it doesn't bother you for a few hours, you know where to find me."

He left her like that and she turned her head to watch him wander out the door. Feeling the barb in her heart rattling at the reminder. Fingers slid down her arm, surprising her and she jumped a little as she turned.

To see Cloud watching her with tight skin around the edges of his eyes.

"I'm okay," she said it automatically and noticed Cissnei was standing at his shoulder. Suddenly she couldn't dredge up enough emotion to be angry at the other woman. Instead she just felt a little bit hopeless and she knew it was just her being weak. She didn't know what Cloud saw in her eyes but he suddenly scooped her up in his arms. When she made a noise and looked up at him in surprise he just shook his head, looking tired himself.

"It's bedtime," he simply stated. He turned his head a little. "Come on, Marlene. Denzel," he called over his shoulder and the boy pulled himself away from the ship's pilot to hurry over. Zack followed him and Tifa saw he was carrying Aerith in his arms and that her friend looked – puzzled.

"Bedtime?" Zack asked and Cloud made a soft noise that might just have been a chuckle before giving one of his single, barely there nods. Without another comment, Cloud turned and strode off the bridge and down toward the crew quarters.

Cissnei stayed behind.

"I can walk," it came out softer than Tifa had meant it to. Because – she really didn't want to. Cloud ignored it and she was glad. Because she wanted to be safe, tucked in Cloud's arms, surrounded by his warmth and smell where she didn't have to think about some other woman being there instead.

Did he still love Cissnei?

Did it matter if he did if she was the one he was with and not the red-headed Turk?

And if the answer was 'yes' to both of those questions… what was she supposed to do…?

Cloud carried her into the 'guy's' room' and she didn't lift her head from his shoulder as she looked around it in curiosity. Zack was right behind them and he firmly set Aerith down on one of the bunks.

"Stay," he told her and she looked up at him as if he'd just sprouted an extra head. He made a face and shrugged.

"They want the Ancient, they can come and try to get you. You stay with us so we can keep you safe." He paused and rubbed the back of his head and his voice went young. "Okay?"

It made Aerith smile and she nodded.

"Okay. But can I borrow Marlene and Denzel to sleep with me?"

Tifa's eyes went a bit wider and shot up to find Cloud's impossible blue watching her. The look in his eyes made her throat go a little tight. It was an effort to tear her eyes away from that bottomless blue and she looked down at her sister and brother who were grinning up at her. Cloud still hadn't set her on her feet.

"So we're _family_," Marlene emphasized the last word and Tifa's cheeks flushed pink at the memory of Marlene's innocent thought process and the unintended connotations. Still, they were going to be in a room full of friends. There wasn't a lot anyone could accuse them of doing just because they were sleeping in a separate bed than her siblings.

"Uh – okay?" Tifa managed as her heart tripped over in her chest. Yes, she'd slept with Cloud alone – or at least partially alone before. It was just… they hadn't been – they hadn't been together when they had. Now they were and it made things different somehow.

"Good!" Zack clarified. "That means I get top bunk because I'm not having any of you bed stuffers sleeping over me and threatening to break the bed and fall on me all night long."

"Bed stuffers?" Aerith laughed at him as Marlene and Denzel climbed into the bed with her and they all started to drop their shoes on the floor and shift around. Zack braced his arms and pulled himself up on the bunk above them, flipping over to lay on his back with his arms behind his head with a loud exhale. And Cloud looked down at Tifa, still in his arms, and something about the concentrated blue of his eyes made her stomach turn over wonderfully in her. With an elbow he reached over and hit the panel that turned off the light and turned on the fan. Then he settled down onto one of the lower bunks. Without asking, he set Tifa down on the side closest to the wall and took up position between her and the door. The sheets already smelled vaguely of him and it made her heart feel better in her chest.

She was glad that they'd just changed and cleaned up before they'd gone to the bridge because all she really had to do was wiggle out of her shoes and she was good for the night. She reached back as she shifted a little on the bed to take the clip out of her hair where it had fallen toward the bottom of what had once been a decent pony tail but, in the pitch black, Cloud beat her to it and she felt his arm snake around her as he reached back to unclip it. Then he wound a fist into her hair and gently tugged her head backward. His mouth covered hers before she'd even fully realized what was going on and his kiss wasn't sweet and polite. He poured liquid fire down into her with that kiss and her eyes went wide in the dark at the intensity. She barely remembered to swallow the sound she would have made and his hands were suddenly on her and their arms and legs were tangled together and she was holding him so desperately tightly that she was even using her nails to keep him close. Except he wasn't going anywhere and he was holding her just as impossibly tightly and unbreakably against himself as well. She had a brief flash, a picture from a movie she'd once seen and couldn't remember of a band of gold that had fallen into lava. It had burst into flames at its edges and then simply dissolved into the magma around it, spreading and joining the darker red liquid.

That was the way she felt as Cloud leaned over her and kissed her. As if she were the gold and he was the liquid fire she'd fallen into.

She didn't know how long Cloud kissed her – how long she kissed him. It wasn't long enough. Wasn't anywhere near long enough and yet it was long enough to have her nerves starting to vibrate almost painfully and have things waking up inside her that – that she couldn't even think of because she didn't dare give them a name and any more strength than they already had. It was confusing and scary and wonderful and when his mouth left hers so they could both suck lungfuls of air in, she couldn't tell whether to be relived or to scream in frustration. His mouth, parted so she could feel his breathing, rested against her forehead and his arms and hands stayed locked around her. She was pressed between the mattress and his body and it felt – necessary. Impossibly necessary. Slow, very slow because her head didn't seem to want to function at all, she stretched out the fingers of one of her hands and started to lightly scratch through the golden hair at the back of his head. She felt his exhale and the way his entire body seemed to relax into hers and it made her smile a little bit sadly and yet happily too. What was wrong with her? Her heart was going a hundred miles an hour, her skin felt too tight and yet she'd never felt happier or more full and 'just where she belonged' in all her life. He exhaled her name, so quiet she felt it more than heard it and just as softly she hummed to show him that she was still there. Still with him. He shifted against her and lowered his face to press it into her shoulder and she felt herself soften and then start to smile as he nudged gently so that she'd keep scratching. Her hold on him lost some of its desperation but she didn't loosen her grip.

She didn't know why he'd kissed her that way. She knew it was because he'd needed to. She'd felt that much.

She'd needed it too though.

One of his hands had found its way under the hem of her shirt and was spread hot and tight against the skin of her waist and ribs. His other was still tangled in her hair and pinned under her. She felt both of them tighten briefly as his body tensed and then – he didn't relax but they did soften. Just a little.

"Cloud?" she whispered it softly, lowering her head to do it against his ear and after a minute he exhaled as her fingers continued to move gently through his hair.

"It was – all I saw was green. For weeks…" his voice was almost impossible to hear and tight. Painfully tight. "Sick neon green. Even when the world started to haze into view – it was covered by that sick green for weeks. It made me want to vomit. Every time I opened my eyes and saw that green."

Tifa's lips parted in shock and she froze in her gentle scratching of his head until she remembered and started again, fingers moving tenderly through his hair as he spoke of –

- of –

"I thought I was still in the tube half the time. Nothing made sense. I had – so many memories and none of them made sense. Midgar existed, Midgar didn't. The world was one village, one continent, one world and it was flat and round and hollow. I was a fisherman, a rapist, a side show freak, a miner, a soldier, a mother. So many voices… so many voices I never knew which ones were inside my head and which ones were outside. I had too many names to say – and I couldn't remember any of them. But it was worse – so much worse when the memories started to fade – because I didn't have anything to replace them with. Just – blank. Dark. Nothing of me left when the tide went out…"

It was a nightmare. It was his life. And he was telling it to her in the ink black darkness of the small room while he held her and was held by her and their friends and family kept silent guard against being nothing and nobody with their peaceful sleep. Cloud burrowed his face deeper into Tifa's shoulder and throat and she had to strain her ears to hear him now.

"Zack was there. The first Zack. He's the one that got me out of the tube. He – carried me. Never left me. Talking – all the time." Even in nightmares she felt his lips shift upward in a weak smile at that and her own lips did too. Apparently their Zacks weren't that different in that respect. Cloud's arms around her tightened but it was just to get more comfortable. "He's the one that called me by my name. Every time he talked to me. Cloud… Cloud." He exhaled and turned his face to rest against her throat. "Like you do. He made me real the first time. And then he – he died." He inhaled and his fingers on her skin and in her hair tightened. "He died and – I hardly remember it. I was so – so full of green at the time – and its no excuse – to forget – to confuse my details. I – left his body there. How could I just leave his body there? How could I - ? But I did. He gave me his sword and I – I just left. We were – somewhere. Outside of Midgar I realized later. Cissnei – " his hands tightened on her again and she realized belatedly it was because she'd tensed. She regretted it immediately but he was already shifting, moving onto his side and drawing her up against him that way. For a minute she thought she'd interrupted him and that he wouldn't continue but when she whispered his name he pulled her close and lowered his mouth, lips brushing over hers.

"You taste like salt now – not sugar." His voice was just as quiet against her mouth. He rubbed his thumb over her cheek and she realized it was wet. She'd been crying for him. He kissed her again and it was slow and tender.

"Cissnei found me, wandering around in the desert outside of Midgar. She told me to go to Wutai. That's where Yuffie found me – or what she thought was me. They said I was their lost adopted son who'd saved her and I never told them I might not be… I never told them I must just have that boy's memories and not be real at all."


	84. Chapter 84: Black as Ink

_w00t! a brief lull in the action though I've got to warn you guys, I've been writing ahead and there aren't many more pauses in between the evil - er, I mean, adventure. That said - on to my best beloveds! ps - I've had several readers mention Keystone/Key of the Ancients/Forgotten City/Temple of the Ancients - don't think about this too hard guys. Just trust me, its not the game universe and things are going to go a bit differently. But ya'll already knew that ;) Dis - I'm so glad you liked both my take on Reno and the mako pickling. I've been dying to write my theories on exactly what mako poisoning really is and tie in the distilled Lifestream and exactly what Lifestream really is and all that fun stuff and I'm glad it came across intelligently. I can always count on you to point out if something makes sense/needs more explanation. And yeah - well, Reno's Reno and he's not out of the game yet by any means. You're right about him, he's definitely aware of what he does and what it means. OCV - you're going to hate me when I post chapter 95 in a couple of weeks. And though I don't use the f-word often (save for Cid) there is a time and a place for it ;) Reno does tend to bring it out in people - lol. Is Cloud real or not? Well, that's kind of the question of the day, isn't it? I like exploring the concept of what makes Cloud Cloud. As for him trying to kill Zack at the beginning - well, how would you like running into someone pretending to be your dead best friend and working for the same guys that tortured and then killed him? Sometimes - Cloud reacts emotionally as much as he'd give me a flat look for saying so. and - little fangirl squee! - I'm glad you liked the 'our kids'. He's an all in or nothing kind of guy I suspect. mc - hee! more such kisses on the way. and I'm flattered by your trust in me. I'll do my best to see that the story is a fun ride and ends with satisfaction at its final stop. it was Zack that said that ;) Cloud's suspected for years that he's not real. Poor Zack is still dealing with just finding it out. I'm a mutual 'messes with my characters' kind of girl ;) Falynn - LOL - I love the way you phrase things with your 'sandwhich' examples. I laughed and nodded at the same time - so true, so true. Yeah, poor Cissnei. She's living with her choices now and that's not always easy. Especially when Cloud has decided she's more of a threat than a help to the people he's protecting. Kidnapping mom would do that to him though. He seems the aggressively protective type - can't imagine why. zi-ling! - how about we just party each and every time you get back? I think this crew can handle it. And whee! - someone caught the LoTRs reference. Couldn't resist. Reno will continue to be Reno ;) Akuma - you made me grin like an idiot. Hey, dude - if it works, why fight it? I'll happily supply cloti fluff :D and maybe we should see about picking you up a nail bat when we get where the team is headed. I think I can arrange it. jainre - yeah, poor Reno, he's so snarky and unapologetic and intentionally annoying. I seriously can't tell why everyone doesn't LOVE him! Actually he IS fun. I dont' get to write him as much as I'd like. Though I too am curious about what a team like Red and Vincent will end up doing. I didn't intend it, they just happened to be the only two left onboard the Highwind. :'D - I KNOW! I never meant the story to get this big but it just won't stop writing itself. It's kind of heady when I look at the number of chapters though. Reno is fun and Cloud will, one of these days I'm sure, stop doubting himself. Or not - lol. But at least he's moving forward. I think the avalanche started when he kissed Tifa the first time and its way too late for him to protest the ride now. Jini! - yes, Tifa will wrestle with the idea of Cissnei and come to her own conclusions. I think Cloud will help her work it out though ;) And - thank you. I don't like to write 'villians'. I prefer 'opposing viewpoints'. If I can make the Turks understandable whether they're actually likable or not, than I feel like I've done a good job. And, I think I'm in love with Aerith's mom - she's so much fun to write for the little bit I get to write her. writer - wow. Just... wow. I say that a lot in response to your reviews, don't I? I ADORE how you've psychoanalyzed my chapters. just - wow. demonegg - **I'm going through withdrawal here, ya know!** and w0ot! another point for the LoTRs reference. And, given the depth you give your characters, I'm amazingly flattered that you like what I do with mine. I do try to keep anyone from being one, or even two, dimensional. Which does, of course, include messing with Cloud's psyche (which is too much fun to resist anyway). 11tiggers!/Osiris's Consort/Lexi-yeesh - hey! welcome to the party! drinks are in the fridge and we might even have some leftover cake in there! Glad you're along for the ride. Hang on tight, after this week things start to speed up again. vanilla raindrops - lol - you too are going to hate me when I post chapter 95 in a few weeks. It'll be fun! and - I'll do my dangest to not disappoint ;) tell me if these next three will do for now. oceanee - I never, never, never tire of getting reviews but yours seriously make me glow like a small sunbeam for hours after I read them. The details, the details, how you feed my little writer's soul! Cloud's like that because they threatened what he loved/had under his protection. Because, the Turks do play dirty pool. And Zack wrote his own line about 'saving mom'. How he can surprise me with his unexpected darkness and make me chuckle at the same time I'm still not sure. I never knew Tifa and Aerith were going to end up as perfect for each other as friends as they did but I'm so glad they did and I'm glad you like the team up. And thank you - I couldn't imagine Tifa not having left over 'pettiness' concerning Cissnei at first either. and - wow - you even got me with your breif summary of Cloud's green. I actually felt my throat go tight and I wrote the darn thing! We'll both have to borrow him for huggings. As for Reno, I think Akuma would lend you a hard board with a nail in it if you wanted to join him in his chase of the Turks ;) vx-luna-xv - Tifa will deal with her Cissnei situation, never fear - lol. And I'm glad you felt for Cloud. I don't think most people realize how very bad what he went through really was. And speaking of which... _

Chapter 84: Black as Ink

Cloud didn't say anything after his confession and Tifa didn't offer words. She wouldn't have known what to say anyway. He'd just given her a dark, buried part of himself and she didn't think he'd done it to hear her try to lie and pretend she could make it better with words. Words weren't a Lockhart strength anyway though and so she showed him without words what she wanted him to know. She held him, body tucked in and around his and stroked his hair and laid soft, quiet kisses against his face and eventually he fell asleep, drained by what he'd revealed and she followed shortly afterward, tumbling down into a darkness that glowed green in her dreams and held whispering voices that belonged to all the people that had died in the mako reactor.

When she woke up in the morning, Cloud was gone.

Tifa sat up slowly and pushed the hair out of her face. She really was going to have to get a haircut soon. Zack was still sleeping on the top bunk, sprawled out with one arm hanging over the edge of it and her siblings were sleeping in the bunk under him. Aerith was already gone though and Tifa inhaled and stretched before slipping out of bed and finding her shoes. Out of ingrained habit, she made the bed and as she pulled the sheet back to smooth it out she noticed a small black stain on the fitted sheet of the bed up near the pillow. Curious she touched it but it was dry and she frowned mildly, wondering for the first time how sheets – and clothes for that matter – got washed onboard the _Highwind_. She didn't remember stumbling across any laundry facilities. Maybe someone had spilled ink or something on the sheet and whatever wash it had been through hadn't been enough to get it out all the way. Tifa, with two rambunctious siblings of her own, understood that concept pretty well. Still, it reminded her of when her father had been sick and coughing up black on his very bad days and so she stripped down the bed and stole the clean smelling sheets off of another of the bunks to remake it, folding up the stained sheet and leaving it near the foot of the other bunk. She'd have to ask Shera where the dirty things went when she got the chance.

Zack might be sleeping but Tifa figured that her brother and sister were safe enough in his company. Zack might be a goof but he was a warrior too and she didn't think he'd sleep through anyone coming into the room that didn't belong. Gentle, she tucked the blanket back over Marlene and Denzel and then snuck out of the room before pausing outside to put her shoes on and lace them up. A quick stop in the bathroom to get ready for the day and then she headed to the kitchen.

Shera was there and had already started the coffee and Tifa was surprised to see Yuffie there as well, slumped over a table with her head in her arms. At her glance, Shera shrugged and offered a smile.

"She said she was sick of being sick. For some reason being around us while she's sick is supposed to be different?"

"S'variety," Yuffie managed, sounded groggy. "Gets ta puke inna diff'nt spot. Whee…"

It made Tifa laugh softly in sympathy and she walked over to rub the other girl's back. Yuffie made a helpless noise and whimpered:

"Leave my broth'r an' marry me instead?"

"I'll let you fight him for me when we land, how's that?" Tifa asked in amusement as she continued to rub the younger girl's back and Yuffie made a sound that was either laughter or agreement. Shera brought Tifa a cup of coffee and Tifa gave the other woman a smile.

"Maybe I'll leave them both for you," she told her gratefully as she took the cup in her other hand and closed her eyes to inhale it. Then she looked at the other woman.

"You look happy…"

Shera grinned and behind her glasses her eyes sparkled.

"Let's just say, I'm going to try to make Cloud's favorite breakfast today."

"Cloud's?" Tifa asked as Shera bustled back over to the kitchen area.

"He _is_ the one that got the Captain to dance with me. Him and Aerith."

"They did, didn't they?" Tifa asked with a growing smile and Shera nodded and looked pleased and embarrassed at the same time.

"I haven't had that much fun in – oh, ages." The other woman put her hands to her cheeks in pleasure and beamed. "The Captain even forgot to be angry at me and actually smiled when we danced. Smiled at me!" She spun over to where the stove was and started pouring chunks of cubed potato into a pan. "I know it was only for one night and nothing's really changed but… it was such a wonderful night."

It made Tifa smile as well. She didn't think she'd ever seen the other woman so – carefree.

She was personally going to kick Cid's ass and hard if he ruined it.

"Yo, yo," the door opened and Reno walked in with a smile. "I hear there's breakfast around here but the hot chicks is a nice touch too."

Shera immediately turned away with a sniff.

"Dried oatmeal is in the cabinet," she informed him stiffly without turning to look at him. He appeared nonplussed and started for the kitchen but Tifa stepped away from Yuffie.

"Go sit down, Reno," she told him and he met her eyes in curiosity. "I'll get you something eat."

"You gonna spit in my food?" he asked suspiciously but he sat down at the same table Yuffie was hunched over and stretched out his long legs. Tifa just shook her head at him and went into the kitchen area. Shera gave her a questioning look but Tifa just shook her head again and poured an extra cup of coffee, adding the heaping spoonfuls of sugar that she knew Reno liked. Booze wasn't the only thing he'd stopped by her old bar to drink, despite his reputation. When she walked back and handed it to him he took it so that their hands touched and looked up at her. For once, his eyes were serious and so was his face.

"Thanks, Teef."

"I'm still going to kick your ass," she told him calmly. "And if you try anything, I'll kick it then too."

"Right," his smile was a half smile and he set the coffee on the table in front of him, watching her. And understanding. His eyes said he hadn't expected forgiveness but he did understand a truce. "'Cause it's just business, yo."

By the time the others arrived, Tifa and Shera had managed to cook up a pretty good breakfast considering the limited supplies. Everyone gave Reno a wide berth – except for Yuffie who was probably contemplating throwing up on him just for the fun of it and when Cissnei came in everyone ignored her as well. She ended up sitting at the table with Reno after getting her own cup of coffee.

Tifa felt bad for the Turks. She knew it couldn't be easy to be surrounded by people that were deliberately giving you the cold shoulder. Of course, a good way to avoid that would have been not kidnapping Elmyra and threatening Aerith too. Business might be business – but you lived with the consequences of your choices too.

Cloud, with a soldier's instinct, came in just as the food was being served and his smile was a little shy and young as he took his cup of coffee from Tifa. It made her smile back and hers was probably just as bad as his. They didn't mention last night and Tifa suspected they might never. There was no need to. The shy smile stayed but changed and went vaguely little boy like and surprised as Shera handed Cloud his specific plate and told him 'thank you' with that beaming light in her eyes. He ducked his head and mumbled his 'welcome' even though he didn't look as if he entirely understood why she was thanking him before quickly making his way over to a table in the far corner.

Where Zack soon joined him with a plate of his own food just to rib the blond cheerfully about Shera being 'sweet on him'.

Marlene and Denzel joined the group at the same time Zack did but they got their food and their hugs from Tifa and then set their plates down near Barrett. They both left them there however and bee-lined for Cloud to give the surprised warrior morning hugs before bouncing cheerfully back to their own table. Tifa pretended not to notice even though it made her smile and swelled her heart in her chest. Even Denzel – who was 'too old' for that kind of thing - had hugged Cloud which meant her siblings were making a point. Cloud was family now. Their family. And it made Tifa feel like laughing and crying at the same time it was so perfect and so perfectly what she'd wanted for the longest time.

She ate her breakfast with Denzel and Marlene and Barrett but whenever she looked up and across the room, Cloud would be too and their eyes would brush. It always made her smile softly and she would duck her head to concentrate on her food. It didn't matter if she was looking or not though – she could feel him even all the way across the room. It was the most reassuring feeling she'd ever known.

Everyone else pitched in on clean up and Cloud let Yuffie climb up onto his back so he could carry her around the outside for some fresh air. Tifa brought breakfast to Aerith. Her friend was sitting at the front of the ship on the deck, hair braided and over her shoulder and from time to time she'd stretch out her arm and point. Tifa settled down next to her on the planking and enjoyed the sun and the wind in her face. After a minute though, she poked her friend in the side and Aerith blinked her eyes slowly open and looked over at her. Her green eyes were a little dazed and very far away –

And so happy and sad at the same time that Tifa leaned over to wrap an arm around her and hold her tightly.

"I'm worried about you," she told Aerith and the other woman rested her head on her shoulder and sighed softly.

"It's going to be okay, Teef. You just have to remember that, all right? No matter what happens, out of everyone, you've got to believe that it's going to be okay. Can you do that?"

"I don't like that question," Tifa answered and rested her cheek on the top of her friend's head. Aerith made a soft noise.

"I know. But you're the strong one. If you believe everything will be okay in the end, so will everyone else."

Tifa paused for a very long time in silence.

"Can I just pretend I believe it?"

Suddenly, Aerith was throwing her arms around Tifa and bursting into tears as if her world was ending. It frightened Tifa. Not because it was tears, and she held her friend tightly as the other woman cried, but because – because Aerith had cried this way in Cosmo Canyon after listening to the planet. And because ever since than Tifa had been plagued by the feeling that Aerith somehow knew what was coming and was trying to squeeze everything possible out of every moment in between. It scared her. It scared her so badly that she wasn't sure she wanted to know why.

"It's okay," Tifa soothed automatically before realizing that was exactly what Aerith had asked her to say. So she put more belief into it as she repeated: "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. You'll see. It will."

Aerith nodded against her and the storm of tears passed as quickly as it had come. She sniffed and didn't pull out of Tifa's arms.

"You're the best. Sister, friend, protector. You really are. You've always made me feel like I belonged in your family – even when I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I felt so – so lost after I lost Zack. Like I'd never be whole again. But you made me feel better without me having to forget him. And I've never told you."

"Aerith – " Tifa's voice came out weaker than she'd meant it to. "Please don't. You're scaring me. People only say things like this before they die."

Aerith let out a watery laugh and sat up, though not out of Tifa's arms. She wiped at her eyes and she was smiling again.

"No, they don't, silly. People say things like 'I think I left the stove on at home' or 'do you think it will rain tomorrow' or 'so… you're cannibals?' before they die. People only do long dramatic speeches before their deaths in video games and movies. People say things like 'I love you and I want you to know it' when they're tired and scared."

"Oh," Tifa leaned a little bit into Aerith and rested the side of her head against her friend's. "Good. Because I love you too and I want you to know it. We'll be tired and scared together."

Aerith exhaled and leaned into her.

"Okay," she agreed. A moment later she lifted her arm and pointed again and the ship subtly shifted course under them.


	85. Chapter 85: Claims and Responsibilities

Chapter 85: Claims and Responsibilities

The sun was working its way down the horizon as Tifa felt the Highwind start to dip slowly downward. It was subtle but she'd gotten used to the way the ship felt under her feet and so she looked up from where she was trying to maintain some semblance of schooling with her siblings. They immediately took the opportunity to silently shift ahead several pages in the books she was making them read. Stifling her smile, she stood up.

"Okay, mark where you were – where you **really** were – and we'll call it a day." She really felt a little overwhelmed by the idea of being their main source of knowledge considering her own schooling once they'd moved below the Plate had been spotty at best and as her father had declined it had gotten to be less and less. She didn't consider herself stupid by any means – it was just that the principles, or point for that matter, behind things like Algebra and Chemistry left her absolutely mystified. Luckily for all the Lockhart siblings, Algebra and Chemistry were not on the list of things to learn today.

History just might be however.

Denzel and Marlene tucked away their books and bounced along next to her as if she'd just let them out of cramped cages and Tifa rolled her eyes at them and grinned. They'd only been at it for an hour. The rest of the day they'd been running amuck all over the ship and, Tifa had to admit, she had too. Though… there had been that time when she'd stumbled across Cloud getting something from the storage locker for Cid and she'd made the mistake of actually smiling at the man and… well, Cid had just had to wait a while longer for whatever it was he'd asked for. Thinking about it made her cheeks pink and her grin bright and she was still smiling as she walked onto the bridge.

The smile faded, just a little, when she saw Cissnei.

'Stop it,' she chided herself mentally as Denzel immediately diverted to the steering wheel. 'Cloud's obviously with you now. You haven't even asked him about Cissnei. You're just jumping to conclusions the way he did with you and Leon.' With an inhale she went over to where Aerith and Cid were standing near the glass looking down.

"It's – here." Her friend sounded frustrated. "I can feel it." Her braid was over her shoulder and she had her hand wrapped around the end of it where Tifa knew the 'key' was.

"Well, I sure as shit can't see it," Cid griped. "And I can't set the _Highwind _down in that mess of trees anyway. Looks hokey to me anyway. Creepy."

"It's okay. If you can get us close to a clearing we can use the ladder," Tifa interjected as Marlene suddenly peeled away from her to go darting over to Cloud who had just come in the door. "We can walk anywhere we need to go from there."

Cid gave her a scowl.

"Yeah, I remember the last time you 'walked' somewhere, woman. We ended up dropping that same ladder into a pool of fucking fire and mako." He gave her a glare. "I don't like not being able to be air support."

"Aw, Cid, you really _do_ care," Tifa teased with a laugh and he gave her a narrowed eyed look and went stomping over to the wheel to talk to the helmsman. Aerith chuckled.

"You're mean. I love it! Hey, Cloud," she greeted the blond man as he came over, Marlene over one shoulder. Marlene giggled as he silently threatened to drop her on her head and wrapped her arms around his chest. His eyes softened as they met Tifa's, and he gave Aerith a quiet smile and a nod of greeting.

"We're there?" he asked in his low, calm voice and it had a visible effect on Aerith as she stopped clenching her hands so tightly around her braid. The look she gave him was grateful but Tifa, who knew her so well, though it look a little sad at its edges too.

"I can feel it. I've had Cid flying around in circles for about an hour now. I know it's 'below' but we can't see anything from here and I can't seem to make it any more specific."

"If it was easy to find, someone would have already," Cloud simply answered as he lowered Marlene gently to the ground before the blood rushing to her head could make her pass out. Without seeming to realize it, he slipped that same arm around Tifa's waist and tugged her closer. Aerith smiled at him. Tifa knew. There was so much resting on her friend right now and she knew Aerith felt the pressure of it. Of not wanting to fail her friends. Tifa felt the same way too herself but she wasn't the one that had a great ancient mystery riding around in her hair so the pressure was understandably less.

"Right," she reached out as she leaned into Cloud's side and lightly tugged Aerith's braid with a bolstering smile. "But we've got an Ancient with us. You'll find it, Aerith. You've gotten us this far already, haven't you?"

"Is this another group hug? Am I missing it?" Zack was suddenly on the bridge and striding over with a grin. Cloud automatically held up a hand in defense as if he expected the dark haired man to try to hug him and Zack made a face and a dismissive noise.

"You'll hug me, right Marlene? Since Cloudy's got your sister all tangled up already and you wouldn't want me to feel left out?" He turned the most impressive set of puppy dog eyes on the little girl. It was absolutely unnecessary as she all but tackled him in response. Laughing Zack let her bowl him over onto the floor. The laughter died abruptly as Cissnei came over and Zack got to his feet, one arm draped protectively over Marlene and his eyes unfriendly. Apparently, Zack might have puppy dog features but he didn't forgive quite as easily. Cissnei pretended not to notice. Tifa thought – she probably had to do that a lot. Zack wasn't the only man in the group with a guarded expression and his arm around someone he wanted to protect from Turk attention. As much as she was threatened by the other woman, Tifa still felt empathy for her. Not so long ago, she'd been trying to mentally prepare herself for seeing Cloud and the other woman together the way she and Cloud were now. Cissnei was a professional however and so she kept her face expressionless.

"I take it that we're close to something?"

As spokemen went, Cloud was their apparent choice despite the fact that all he did in answer to her question was nod. She exhaled.

"And what would that be?"

For the first time in possibly the entire time she'd known him, Tifa was actually grateful for Cloud's stoic nature as he answered:

"Where we need to go."

Cissnei crossed her arms and frowned at him.

"I want a real answer, Strife."

"No." He said it simply, calmly, and there was nothing malicious about it. Cissnei looked hard at him, as if she was just realizing he might not be who she thought he was. Her head tipped a little to the side and instead of being demanding, she softly asked:

"Why?"

"You're trying to outmaneuver us," he responded flatly. "The less you know about what we're doing the harder it will be for you to guess three steps ahead. That's why I asked Cid to find a way to jam the transmitters in your cufflinks for instance. So we don't end up with surprise visitors." It was a credit to her training that Cissnei's wrists only jerked a little. Cloud looked at her without expression. "I said you could tag along. I didn't say you got to be a part of things or that you got to bring friends."

"Cloud," her voice was soft. "We only want the same thing you do."

"No." His voice was sure and to emphasis his point, he lowered his lips to brush Tifa's temple, eyes never leaving Cissnei's. "You don't."

The red head's jaw firmed under her smooth skin and Tifa noticed when her hands fisted.

"We're not the enemy, Strife."

And then Cloud answered with one simple sentence and suddenly, to Tifa, who had been wondering about his change in attitude to the Turks and Cissnei in particular, he explained everything as he flatly stated:

"You're threatening what's mine, Cissnei."

The other woman's eyes flicked to Tifa, standing there with Cloud's arm around her but Tifa - she realized Cloud was talking about more than that. Somewhere between Wutai and now, Cloud had adopted the entire group as his. And Tifa understood how fiercely protective that made someone. She had her own adopted family that she would defend with tooth and nail if it came down to it. He'd said as much when he'd called Denzel and Marlene 'ours'. They weren't 'his' because he was in love with her. They were 'his' because he was in love with _them_. No matter what happened between him and Tifa, she knew he would still always feel protective of the children. Just like he felt protective of their small group. They were _his_ team now and while the Turks threatening him was hardly worth holding a memory of… threatening his team was something else entirely to him.

"We don't have to," Cissnei took a step toward him despite herself and the look in her eyes made Tifa's heart hurt in sympathy. "We could be allies. We used to be allies. You used to trust me. We both want the same goal."

Cloud's eyes narrowed and for just a moment, they flickered with electric blue fire and Tifa was surprised to feel the subdued blaze of fury in him. It reminded her of the first time he'd seen their Zack in the storage closet in the Shinra building.

"Don't lie to me." His voice was low and dangerously calm. Tifa's hand slipped down to rest over his where it rested at her waist, as if she could hold him back that way even though he hadn't moved and other than his eyes, his face was utterly calm. Cissnei's eyes went wide in surprise and if she was faking it, she was really, really good, Tifa thought.

"Strife – "

"You're not here to kill Sephiroth," Cloud's eyes were hard. "You're here to collect him as a sample for your mad scientists."


	86. Chapter 86: Turning Tables

Chapter 86: Turning Tables

"What?" Cissnei's response was immediate and angry. "We are not!"

Cloud's brows shifted a little over his eyes. Calmly upward. He didn't believe her and it was obvious. Tifa was still busy blinking at the other woman in shock. Tifa had seen Sephiroth, albeit briefly, and the man scared the hell out of her. He was linked with something that was making the planet itself scream in pain and horror. What was Shinra planning on doing? Inviting him to sit down tea? Or thinking they could keep him contained in a lab tub? Oh, because they'd all seen how well that went considering Cloud was wandering around outside his and Jenova had apparently gotten out of hers as well. And yet, as insane as it sounded, Tifa didn't doubt Cloud's assumption for a moment. It sounded far too much like Shinra.

"We're not!" Cissnei repeated herself fiercely. "That creature killed the president. His son sent us to hunt Sephiroth down and eliminate him. He's seen the video footage, we all know how dangerous that man is."

"Video?" Zack piped in for the first time. He'd scooped Marlene up in his arms and was standing a little in front of Aerith and Tifa wondered when he'd done that.

"Of what he did inside the Shinra building. And… before." Cissnei's eyes shifted to the side to avoid them. "In Wutai."

In Wutai… So they would know if it was Cloud that had fought and seemed to have killed Sephiroth or whether it was another man that looked like him and Cloud had borrowed the memories from… Tifa's eyes flew to Cissnei. But the woman still wasn't looking at them and Tifa suddenly realized – she knew. Cissnei knew. And she wouldn't tell. Even if it would answer all of Cloud's questions, even if it would finally give him peace of mind because, no matter what the answer was at least he'd finally _know_… and Cissnei wouldn't tell.

From the flat look in his eyes, Cloud wouldn't have asked.

"What were your orders?" he asked without inflection. "When we discovered where Sephiroth was going to be and went to confront him? Were you ordered to report in first or just take him out?"

Cissnei's eyes flew back to his.

"Report in first. Of course."

Cloud's eyebrows lifted again, a barely there move.

"Do you usually have to call in before you eliminate a target for last minute clarification when you've already been cleared hot?"

"Look," Cissnei folded her arms across her chest and her brows came down low over her eyes. "We can't count on your thrown together bunch of misfits to do the job, Strife. No offense but you're not professionals and he's the most decorated SOLDIER in Shinra history. We call in the target when we find out where it is because if you can't finish the job, Shinra will be there to."

Cloud's blue eyes didn't flicker. His voice was surprisingly gentle when he answered:

"Maybe you should call in and clarify your objectives, Cissnei. Because I think your rules of engagement aren't as open as you think. Tell them you're about to incinerate the body and see what they say."

She glared at him.

"You're paranoid, Strife."

He made a soft sound in his throat. A hum. His voice was still gentle and his eyes had lost their blue fire.

"And you've worked there too long to be this naïve, Cissnei."

"Fine. I'll call it in." Cissnei slipped her hand into her coat pocket and Cloud watched calmly as she frowned and reached into the other pocket. Her eyes narrowed and then her head came up and her wide eyes found Cloud.

"My phone!" her eyes narrowed as fast as they'd widened. "All right, give me back my phone."

Cloud just looked calmly at her and didn't answer.

"Damn it, Strife!" her hands fisted in threat now at her sides. "This isn't a game."

"You stole her phone? All right!" Zack was enthusiastic and looked like he was seconds away from going for a high-five. "Did you get Reno's too?"

"It's not a game. That's why I care who wins." Cloud gave Tifa's waist a gentle squeeze and let go of her. "We'll keep the phones until we're done."

"I have to call in regularly." Cissnei took a step toward him as he started to turn to go and she didn't look like she was threatening. "Please, Cloud. I'm serious. If I don't – the old woman's safety depends on us calling in."

Cloud turned his head to slant her a look from the corners of his blue eyes.

"No," he answered softly. "It doesn't."

"It doesn't?" Aerith squeaked and Cloud gave her an embarrassed smile, looking as if he almost expected her to scold him.

"I came up to tell you," he tried to apologize and the solid, dangerous defender and leader of their group disappeared for a moment for the suddenly glowing brunette as he rubbed at the back of his head. He dug his PHS out of his pocket with the other hand and offered it to her. "They're still on the run but – a quick call should be all right."

Aerith made a noise that was half scream of pleasure and half bursting into tears and, ignoring Cloud's outstretched hand, she threw herself against him and wrapped her arms around his chest. Cloud froze, arm still stiffly held out in front of him, and Zack took it upon himself to make motions with the arm he wasn't holding Marlene with and mouth 'hug her' in over-emphasis. Tentatively, Cloud closed his arms around Aerith and she burst into happy tears against his chest.

"I won't forget. I swear I won't. Not ever."

"I didn't do anything," Cloud protested quietly, still managing to look like a pleased, confused little boy and Aerith laughed against him.

"You make things happen. When you put your mind to it, you make things happen."

Then she pulled back and took the phone from him with a smile that was bright enough to fill the entire bridge. Tifa got a hug, Marlene got a hug, even Zack got a quick kiss on the cheek before she went dancing over to a corner. Tifa watched her go and was just about to hug Cloud herself for making her friend so happy when Cissnei spoke up.

"So. Now what?" her voice was very calm and emotionless. "Are you going to just push us off or are you going to drop us somewhere desolate and let us walk home?"

Cloud exhaled and the traces of little boy disappeared as if they'd never been. Now he just looked a little tired.

"I don't leave enemies alive behind me." He tilted his head to look up at the sky through the glass for a moment. "At least not since I became me. It seems like the one time I accidentally did, it was a mistake so big that it might cost us everything." He lowered his head with an exhale and Tifa suddenly realized, whatever Cloud decided, the team would go along with. If he wanted the Turks to take a long walk off a short beam a couple hundred feet above the ground, no one would stop him. Which meant it was Tifa's job to stop him.

If she thought he should be stopped…

"You get to walk home. After we're done here," Cloud's voice was low. He looked over at Cissnei and his voice softened. "If I thought there was even a chance that you might join us, I'd ask you to stay. But you're too good at lying and you enjoy knowing what others don't too much to give it up now."

He waited. And she didn't protest. For just a moment his eyes were sad and then he turned to Zack.

"Come on. We've got packing to do."

He glanced at Tifa but she shook her head and both of the men left, Marlene riding in quiet puzzlement in Zack's arms. Tifa waited until they were gone to step forward.

"You could just tell him what the cameras in Wutai showed," she offered softly. "Or tell Zack the truth about himself. Cloud would forgive you if you'd do the second one."

The other woman's eyes met hers and they were sad.

"I know." She looked at the door both Zack and Cloud had gone out of. "He wants me to come." Her eyes slid back to Tifa and she shook her head. "Not like that. He just wants to save me the way I saved him once." She exhaled. "I just don't need to be saved."

"Shinra's that wonderful?" Tifa couldn't keep the dry tone out of her voice and the other woman made a softly amused sound.

"No. But the Turks are. I couldn't leave them anymore than you could leave your group." Sad, her eyes drifted to the empty doorway again. "Not even for him."

Because she couldn't seem to stop herself, Tifa asked:

"Did he? Ask you to? Before?"

Cissnei looked at her then and for a minute her face was still. Then she shook her head.

"I like my secrets. But I don't lie. Yes, he asked me to go with him. At the time, I thought he loved me and that was why he was asking. Now? I don't know… It doesn't matter though. I could never leave the Turks. Not for Zack. Not for him. The Turks are my family."

Tifa understood that. She was just lucky enough that the man she loved happened to be a part of the people she loved. She gave the other woman a smile that was a little crooked.

"I hope you don't mind if I'm not sorry you won't be staying."

Cissnei made another amused sound and it was edged with both bitterness and complete understanding.

"He never looked at me the way he looks at you. He never touched me the way he touches you. I hope you don't mind if I'm not sorry I don't have to stay around to watch it."


	87. Chapter 87: Letting Go

_and so begins the evil... meanwhile, oh my gentle readers and best beloveds, I'm having so much fun with everyone having so much fun. **Osiris's Consort** - Cloud doesn't say much but I like to think when he does it's worth something. and poor Cissnei, she's not very popular with my readers right now. Can't imagine why.... ;) **Lexi-Yeesh** - every time you review I remember writing the chapters you're talking about and grin. I'm LOVIN' your reactions. And I'm so glad you're caught up now. You've nailed Aerith's entire emotional dilemma right there, oh best beloved. I just hope my head hasn't gotten so big I can't get through the door tonight - lol. You're awesome! **Ktisis** - wow! wow, what a wonderful long and detailed review. Yum! you brought up so many good points and several I hadn't thought of myself and I am beyond moved that you feel my writing has whispers of hope even when I plunge it into darkness. Thank you. It's what I would always want most for anything I wrote. Yes, yes and yes to some of your speculations, er... and maybe to the others. And thank you, I shall take that badge of evil you have given me and put it on my hat - heee! **Dis!** - heh, yeah, I can't stand fics that have unintelligent Clouds in them. I'm glad you think I'm doing him justice. I always found it odd Yuffie was the one that always got sick during the game too but since the only way to make her feel better was to take her with me when I went out to adventure... yeah, she got stuck on the ship a LOT! and I think you nailed Cissnei. That's her problem and that's her choice and you hit them both right on. As for Aerith... **Fairheartstrife** - I am up to accepting bribes! lol The evil begins now but I hope you'll trust me and continue along with me. I will very much make it worth the while, I promise. and yeah, we so have to find a way to get paid to do this. Work just gets in the way. **iskra** - I LOVE that you give me a review for each chapter. I always know I have more to look forward to in my email box when I see the first one come in. You hit so many points. let me just say I love the way you mention that Cloud belongs to them just as much as they belong to Cloud. That's exactly what I wanted to get across and couldn't have phrased it better. As for the Turks, they will continue to make their presence known, Elymyra would lecture the bad guys, wouldn't she? and yeah, Cloud's alpha. He may be quiet about it but he's definitely so. And I guess so - according to Marlene, Tifa and Cloud have now had sex. Right in the same room as everyone else no less! **Jini!** - I'm glad you think I'm doing Aerith justice. I've been doing my best to avoid portraying her the way a lot of writers in fic do because I want her to be human and real and lovable for herself. Without the confusion of split memories, overlapping identities and substitution issues, I really do think that Aerith and Cloud have personalities that would have made them good friends. As for cissnei - she's in a tough place but it's one she chose to be in. If I can keep her 'human' I'm glad.** OCV** - well, they are Turks - lol. Yeah, they wouldn't be straight forward about anything if there was a different option. and I agree - Cloud seems to do the 'silent guardian' thing well. It suits him. **Akuma** - Monty Python reference!! okay, I'm under control now. Good to see the nail bat is in good hands - or evil hands but that's kinda the same and lol - I should have Yuffie calling Cloud 'ActionMan of Gaia'.** :'D** - I love your 'oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh' and the 'oh darn'. Made me grin like an idiot. again, I seem to have someone that's happy with my version of Aerith. I must be doing something right though I've got to agree with you - in most fics I'm not a fan of hers. But I blame that on the writers more than anything else. Granted, I did tend to ditch her in the game a lot though... er, anyway, I'm glad she's coming across well here at least ;) and yes, yes, I foreshadow. And sometimes I foreshadow something that's not going to happen just to scare people. But sometimes I foreshadow for evil. I'll let you squeeze my Cloud plushie through the really bad parts though, okay? Promise it'll all be worth it at the end. **m**c - yes. Yes, worry. But I think we're handing out Cloud plushies to hug so it'll be okay. This thing has grown so much bigger than I ever intended, I've got to admit, _I_ have a hard time keeping up with who went where and why myself. and yes, some of the reviews have caught me on some of my trip ups - lol **writer** - how you spoil me. I LOVE it! and can I just say that every time I get nervous about how I've written something you - with your mental telapahty or something - seem to know and mention that I did a good job? Your reviews are so deeply grounded in canon I feel like I'm doing something right when you point out what I've written and say it was important or touching or necessary or 'right on'. Wow. You are so, so good for me. **Tae **- given how much I adore reading your stuff, I'm so glad when you like something particular of mine. I can't seem to resist writing Cloud being cute with the girls, whether its Tifa or Marlene or Aerith. I think he's probably a push over for women he cares about. and we so enjoy 'cute' Cloud too. **vanilla raindrops** - here you go, three more chapters. Ever closer to the dreaded chapter 95 - dun dun dun duuhhhh! lol Grab a Cloud plushie while they're circulating. And, thank you. I didn't want Cissnei to be entirely hateable. Just - really easy to dislike. **Falynn** - LOL - and speaking of Cissnei! As much as I tried to keep her from being a flat out villain, I can absolutely appreciate when a reader really, really, _really_ doesn't like her. I'm absolutely enjoying your thoughts on her. and the comparing the breakfast session to a high school was AWEsome! lol - didn't even think of it but yeah, it sure did seem that way, didn't it? I LOVED the comparison! Your reviews ROCK! **vx-luna-xv** - well, the year's not out yet - we'll have to see. And explanations ahead! **11tiggers** - I will take that Cloud plushie, thank you. I think mine were grabbed from me by other readers. ;) Well, here you go, more to read. Anything to be of service :D_

Chapter 87: Letting Go

Tifa left Denzel on the bridge under Cid's watchful eye. Her brother really was serious about wanting to learn how to fly the giant airship. As long as he didn't learn any vocabulary skills from Cid as well, Tifa thought it was a good idea. Even though she'd always taught them that they could become anything they wanted to as they grew up, Tifa had known how limiting the slums were. How much future they stole away from the children that grew up in them. Everything was so mixed up and confused and the reason they'd had to leave their home was horrible… and yet it had opened doors for all of them that they would have never had before.

All it had cost was the hundreds of lives buried under the fallen rubble of Sector Seven to free the Lockhart children.

She couldn't decide if that cursed their attempts at a future or made them need to succeed in response.

Shera was waiting for her in the 'girls' room' and offered her both her and Aerith's packs when she came in with a crooked smile.

"I'm supposed to stay onboard, so I figured the least I could do was pack for you."

Tifa gave the small woman a hug and slung her own pack over her shoulders before reaching out for Aerith's. Shera held onto it when Tifa's fingers wrapped around it though.

"I told him 'no more'."

"Hm?" Tifa looked over at the other woman and saw Shera's lips were thin in her face but… her eyes looked… so clear behind her glasses. "What?"

"I told the Captain, I was leaving if… _when_ we finish this and beat Sephiroth." She drew in a deep breath and stood up a little straighter. "I told him it was time I started living my own life."

"What?" Tifa couldn't help but blink at the other woman and Shera managed a helpless smile.

"He said the same thing," she managed weakly. Then she laughed softly. "And then he cursed me out and told me to stop yanking his chain." She nodded. "I think I did the right thing. It… feels right. Like I'm – not so heavy anymore."

It finally sank in and Tifa was torn between cheering the other woman and feeling her forehead to see if she had a fever. She knew Shera was in love with Cid and, suspected, in his own way, that Cid was in love with the little woman too. She'd felt a bolt of hope after they'd danced at the Gold Saucer but…

"I'm glad." She wrapped her arms around the other woman. "I really am."

Shera chuckled weakly and held on to Tifa.

"Well, I didn't hit him. But I want… I had so much fun at the Gold Saucer. It made me so happy and I realized… I deserve to be happy. I know it's my fault the Captain lost his chance at the stars but nothing I do is ever going to make that up to him. I need… I need to let that go. And him. Even if I still love him."

Tifa exhaled and rested her head against Shera's.

"I want you to come stay with us when this is over. I don't – I don't know what's going to happen or where we're going to go but I want you to come with us, okay?"

Shera chuckled again and it was a little fuller this time. She gave Tifa's waist a squeeze.

"Maybe. We'll see. I've never been able to make up my own mind and go anywhere I wanted to before and I think I might like to explore a little on my own. But I'll definitely come and stay with you a little while." She drew back and looked at Tifa with eyes that danced. "Even if I think you'll be too busy setting up wedding plans to notice."

"What?" Tifa was back to her favorite word and Shera just laughed and let go of her.

"You'd better get going. I bet everyone's already on deck and waiting. Just make sure you pay lots of attention. I've never been to an Ancient temple before and I'm going to ask all kinds of questions when you get back."

It made Tifa smile and she gave the other woman another quick hug before heading out the door. Somehow Shera deciding to leave Cid set her world on an angle so much more than anything else that had happened today. She'd wanted a happy ending for the two of them but that was never going to happen as long as Cid held on to his bitterness. And nobody should have to live under that anger for as long as Shera had.

Poor Cid. Doubly so because he just might be starting to have an inkling of what he'd lost.

She was just hurrying past one of the storage rooms when she heard a noise. Her body reacted before her head even had a chance to catch up to what was going on as she turned to step into the room. Because… she knew that sound. It was someone in pain and muffling it.

It didn't even occur to her until she was already in the room that it could easily be the Turks laying a trap.

The thought left her mind though as her eyes focused on…

Sunshine…

Cloud.

The backpacks hit the ground with a sound as she rushed over to him. She'd seen Cloud in a lot of different situations before and she'd seen him enduring a great deal. She was never going to forget the way he'd looked after his time in the Battle Arena. But she'd never seen him down on his knees, head bowed and every muscle in his body tense and knotted.

"Cloud?" she said his name as she went to her knees next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "What is it?"

He bit out a noise between his teeth, eyes tightly closed and shook his head, blond hair catching light and shadow. She could actually feel the tension all but bowing his body and she tapped one of the materia in her gloves to cast its healing over him without a second thought.

Deep in the back of his throat he made another, barely there sound and it was the closest she'd ever heard him come to screaming. Then his body sagged and she caught most of the weight of it against herself. Afraid now, she ran her hands over his back and shoulders and when she tried to slip them down his arms, feeling for blood or broken bone, he made another lower sound and choked out:

"Don't – "

"What?" she asked and then noticed – "Cloud… your sleeve."

He exhaled a hiss through his teeth, still not opening his eyes and Tifa stared at the dark liquid that was soaked through the sleeve that covered his left arm. Drops of the same liquid had fallen on the floor near his braced hand and –

And she remembered the stain on the sheets this morning.

"Cloud…"

He shook his head with a soft sound and shifted, getting his feet under him and preparing to stand.

"It's nothing." It came out low and guttural and she stubbornly knotted her arms around him. He was either too weak or too gentle to shrug her off. Left arm… how long had he been giving hidden indications that his left arm was bothering him…? And how long, Tifa suddenly wondered backward, had he been wearing long sleeves?

"Teef," he turned his head so that his face brushed against her shoulder. "We've got to go. The others are waiting."

Not so long ago she would have let him get away with it. Would have backed off and not pressed because it wasn't her place or her right to. Now she just shook her own head and dug her nails into the fabric of his shirt.

"How long?"

"Not long," he lied to her as he answered it. Or changed his definition of 'long' so that it didn't match hers.

"Since the Battle Arena?" she wanted to look closer but she was holding him and she knew, could feel it in the way his muscles felt under her arms, the way he was already crouched with one foot under him, that if she let go of him to try, he'd stand up and move away. His silence made her eyes go wider. "Before that?"

"Tifa – " his voice was steadier now but it didn't lose its softness on her name. "We haven't got time for this."

She rested the side of her head against his back. He was going to be stubborn.

"How long have we not had time?"

He exhaled and his forehead rested against her shoulder. For just a moment, his shoulders sagged.

"A while now." He paused and then softer, he whispered:

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault – " she started but he shook his head and one of his blue eyes glinted at her in the dim light.

"Tifa… I lived with your father too, remember?"

It froze her heart in her chest. Quietly he added:

"I won't put you through that again. I promise."

"Don't-" she blurted it, sudden panic in her chest. "Don't say that. Just… don't."

He lurched to his feet with a muted sound in his throat but his right arm slipped around her as he did so that she was drawn to her feet as well. It kept her from looking too closely at the dark liquid on the floor and a moment later, the thick sole of his boot moved through it and smeared it so that it would dry faster.

"It comes and goes," his voice was rough but he didn't let go of her. "Today's just a bad day."

"What is it?" she asked softly and he looked down at her and shook his head. For a moment, his blue eyes were young.

"I don't know. I – think I might have picked it up. In Nibelheim."

Her mind immediately jumped to the small woman she'd just left behind and then on to Leon. Cloud shook his head.

"They're fine. I've been keeping an eye on them. I think – " he looked down and clenched his fist on his left side. "I think I'm the only one that was susceptible. Because of – what I am."

"Cloud…"

His eyes met hers.

"Zack's not the only one that read some of Hojo's log books while we were in Cosmo Canyon. They talked about clone degradation, Tifa…"


	88. Chapter 88: No Time for Later

Chapter 88: No Time for Later

He let her sit on the bed while he stood and took care of his arm in the cabin. It wasn't exactly what she'd wanted but she thought… she thought it was more than she had a right to expect. If he wasn't letting her take care of him directly, he was still letting her see what had happened to him and she knew it was more than he'd admit to anyone else, much less let them see. Even if he wouldn't have even told her if she hadn't stumbled across him…

"Does anyone else know?" she asked and he shook his head, blond hair swaying. He'd gotten even less talkative than usual after his admission about why he thought he was the only one showing signs of… whatever was happening to him. She thought, maybe, it wasn't because he was embarrassed of what he was so much as… simply not having anything left to say.

She couldn't believe he was a clone. She couldn't. He was… too real. As she watched him, she knew – even if it was true - it changed nothing. Nothing about the way she felt about him. The only thing it changed was how they would have to take care of him.

He unwrapped his arm with efficiency and that told her more than anything else that he'd been doing this for a while. No one got that good at bandaging themselves one armed without a lot of practice. The white of the cloth was stained gray and black and he dropped it onto the small table against the wall. Studiously not looking at her, he took new bandages and started to rewrap his arm. She still saw.

Cloud's arm was a mass of what looked like strangely colored bruises. They discolored his pale skin from the back of his hand all the way up to his shoulder, dark black in long stains while the skin surrounding it was a thick gray rimmed in purple and angry red. His face was expressionless and so were his eyes as he covered the pulped looking mess with white cloth and she wondered how he could even still use his arm at all considering how horrible it looked.

How had she not known? How had she not noticed? Had she really been so distracted with other things that she hadn't even noticed what was happening to the man she said she loved? How had she missed this?

He tied off the bandage with quick motions and flexed his elbow to make sure he could still move that arm without restraint. Then, still not looking at her, he turned and stripped off his shirt. Tifa saw scars in pale white and faded purple across his skin and the muscles that moved under it and there was a large wicked looking scar that marked his back at almost the center of him. She remembered. He had a similar scar on his chest that Marlene had been the first to notice. Her own hand moved automatically to lie flat over the scar that marked her own chest. She must have made a noise because he paused, picking up a new shirt, and calmly, softly, without looking at her stated:

"I know. It's started spreading again. I noticed this morning."

She could see the pale purple splotches along his shoulder blade in the back and, if she hadn't known better she would have thought that they were nothing more than simple bruises, the kind they all collected while fighting. Heart breaking, she stood up and pressed into his back, slipping her arms around him before she could even think about it. She felt his muscles jerk under her and his voice came out strained:

"Don't – Tifa… don't."

"Shut up, Strife," she muttered against his skin, arms tightening around him when he tried to pull away.

"I might be contagious," it was to scare her off but she refused to be scared. She held him tightly and shook her head, not about to back off.

"No. If you even thought there was the littlest chance of that, you'd never touch me or the children the way you do."

"I shouldn't touch you at all," his voice was quiet and so soft it almost hid the raw edge. He wasn't talking about spreading the black that was consuming him anymore. Now he was back to worrying about her heart when it tangled with his. She knew him well enough to recognize that by now. He did it often enough.

"Try to stop," she pressed her lips to the back of his neck to whisper it and, made bold by the fear for him and the crushing grip on her heart, she spread her fingers against his warm skin. She heard the muted sound he made. Just before he turned in her arms and caught her face in his good hand to lean in and kiss her with a tinge of desperation. She slid her fingers over his chest as she kissed him just as fiercely back and he stepped forward to pin her against the wall, his hand tangling in her hair, long fingers fisting.

"Why won't you leave?" his voice was throaty and raw as his mouth left hers to catch her jaw and slip down to her throat. It made her smile and yet it made her want to burst into tears too and she tipped her head back for him as much as she could with the wall in the way, threading her fingers through his golden hair. Her heart hurt.

"… because… I think I love you…" it slipped out of her and she felt the way the words hit him because he inhaled in a sound that was heart torn and his mouth left her skin. A heartbeat before it found hers again and poured desperate heat into her bones, she thought she heard him mutter:

"…don't…."

Too late, she thought as she melted against him, their fingers twining with each others against the wall above her head. It had been too late the second she'd seen him in the convention center with the taste of hot chocolate on her tongue. Every second since than has only been a continuation of what happened in that moment. Overhead the ship's intercom crackled and someone yelled something over it. Brain cells no longer functioning in such close proximity to Cloud, it took her hazy mind a long time to realize it was someone cursing and it wasn't until Cloud's mouth left hers, leaving her gasping, that she realized it was Cid and he was getting colorful with the language he was using to order the 'love birds' to get 'their horny asses in gear' and join everyone else on the 'non-fucking deck' before he hunted them down himself and tossed them overboard 'without the damn ladder'.

"That's us?" she guessed blurrily and Cloud's eyes were a bottomless midnight blue as they looked down at her. His thumb rubbed over her lower lip and she wondered how she was supposed to walk when her knees were jelly.

"Stay here," his voice was low. She blinked up at him as the words took a moment to sink in. His pale brows were down over his eyes as he watched her. She shook her head.

"Can't," she whispered. "Aerith... She'll need me."

His eyes lidded and he turned his head a little to the side. Gentle, she touched the side of his jaw with her fingertips.

"It's just a ruin."

"No," he shook his head, still looking to the side. "It's not." At her inquiring noise he shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted. "I just know I don't want you down there."

"Aerith – "

"Needs you. I know." His eyes found hers and there was a pale green hint around the pupils. His lips touched her forehead lightly. "Just… be careful. All right?"

She nodded against him and the intercom crackled again. This time Zack's voice came on, laughing, informing them that the team was leaving and they'd tell them how it had gone when they got back. Just as long as they promised to do the same. Cloud exhaled through his nose and shared a look with Tifa before he stepped back and pulled on a clean shirt, kicking the strained one and the used bandage under the bed. His hand found hers and she found her knees gave her enough support to move away from the wall and follow him out into the hallway. Her fingers twined a little too tightly with his though but it was all right. His fingers were threaded just as strongly with hers.

"Stay close to Zack if you can," he told her, holding both Aerith's pack and hers across one of his shoulders.

"Not you?" she asked and his eyes narrowed slightly as he started up the iron steps to the deck above.

"No," his voice was quietly decisive. "Not me."

Before she could ask he pushed the hatch aside and Aerith was standing there waiting with a mischievous smile on her face but relief in her eyes when she saw Tifa. Yuffie sat in a miserable ball against the railing, her face tucked into her knees but she raised her face enough to give Cloud a weak smile when she heard his footsteps.

"Took you long enough," Aerith put her hands on her hips to tease it and Tifa gave her a crooked smile. Denzel and Marlene piled over to wrap their arms around her as well and Tifa hugged them both back. Calm, Cloud handed Aerith her pack and ruffled both Denzel and Marlene's hair with a soft, sad smile. Then he walked over to gently stroke a hand over his little sister's hair and murmur something to her. Straightening, he punched Zack, who was standing nearby, in the chest. It wasn't a light hit from the sound of it but it also apparently wasn't meant to do any damage either because all it made Zack do was grunt and then ask innocently:

"What?"

"Are you ready?" Leon asked flatly from the railing he was standing next to.

"Aren't you coming?" Tifa asked in surprise and Leon shook his head.

"We got a tip off about Shinra moving something big by train. Don't know what it is but it's soon. We're dropping you off and then going after it. We'll be back before you even miss us."

"You get a lot of tips," Cloud commented as he pulled on his own pack and handed Tifa's back to her. Leon met his eyes.

"Some of us get magic key codes, some of us get tip offs."

Cloud's shoulder moved.

"Point."

Zack looked from one man to the other and then decided to ignore them both.

"Right," he smacked his fist into his open palm. "Let's mosey!"

"You're such a dork," Aerith told him and Tifa turned to look down at her siblings.

"Be good," she told them. "Stay with Barret. You already know the rules about not going anywhere without an adult while the Turks are onboard."

They nodded and there was still worry in their eyes. There was probably worry in hers as well. But it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Slowly, she thought, they were all healing.

"Call when you're ready," Leon kicked the rope ladder over the side. "If nothing goes wrong, we'll be back before nightfall. We'll keep an eye on the Turks in the meantime for you."

Cloud nodded and moved over to crouch down in front of Yuffie.

"Come on, kiddo," he told her gently. "Let's get you back on solid land."

She reached out and he let her climb onto his back. Briefly, his eyes met Tifa's and then he was lowering himself over the edge. Her hand found Aerith's. The look in his eyes had been guarded. As if they were going into something much worse than what they all thought they were. She drew in a breath and then let go of her friend's hand with a light squeeze, stealing one last look at her siblings before she followed him over the edge and down the swaying ladder. Going into the unknown.

Again.


	89. Chapter 89: Into the Woods

_just as a point of note, those 'famous last words'? Yeah, got them off an online quiz. Mine was the 'so... you're cannibals' while my friend's turned out to be 'it's probably just a rash'... if ffnet will let the link through try: www (dot) espin (dot) com/quizzes/what-will-your-last-words-be - I'd love to hear what ya'll ended up with - aw, crap, never mind. You have to have an account to get the answer now. When I took it, it just gave you the answer.  
_

Chapter 89: Into the Woods

The Highwind was barely visible through the trees but Tifa stood with her head tipped back watching it until it moved out of sight. She was leaving her brother and sister alone. A lot. She didn't like it but it was safer that way. She certainly wasn't about to bring them with her now, for instance. Aerith gave her hand a gentle squeeze and Tifa looked over and gave her friend a smile.

Maybe, when they had the chance, she'd see if Aerith could do anything for Cloud. The hard part would be convincing Cloud. She had the sinking suspicion that he was being so calm about what was happening to him because, deep down, he thought he deserved it. Maybe 'deserved' was the wrong word. Maybe he wasn't fighting it because he thought it was the way things should end for him.

Yuffie was spinning around the clearing and Tifa wondered how she managed that when her stomach had been so sick only moments ago. The younger girl laughed and pumped her fist in the air.

"The Great Ninja Yuffie is back! Time to kick some mummy butt!"

Cloud watched her with a quiet smile and then reached into his pack to hand Tifa a PHS.

"It's already programmed," he told her with a wry look in his eyes and she gave him a slit one in response. It just made the edges of his lips shift slightly upward.

"Is that Cissnei's?" Zack asked and Cloud shook his head. Yuffie laughed again and came bounding over.

"I've got those," she clarified and Zack gave her a sudden grin.

"Really? So we're gonna prank Shinra on them, right? How'd you get them anyway?"

"Duh," Yuffie scolded him. "I _did_ just say I was the Great Ninja Yuffie, didn't I? I ninjaed them away from those lousy Turks!"

"_You _stole them?" Zack shot a look at Cloud. Who just smiled quietly and gave the facial equivalent of a shrug.

"She _is_ the Great Ninja Yuffie," Cloud stated calmly.

"Right! Just 'cause I was busy losing my lunch doesn't mean I can't swipe some stupid phones."

Zack burst into laughter and he and the younger girl exchanged enthusiastic high-fives. Aerith gave Yuffie a hug.

"Thank you," she told her, glowing.

"No big." Yuffie pulled back looking slightly embarrassed by all the emotion. She wasn't that different from her older brother in some areas apparently. Except he never bounced on his toes the way she did.

"So are we gonna go adventure-archeologist-fedora hat and whip, or what?" she asked and Tifa couldn't stop her own smile. Aerith reached into her jacket and gently took out the 'key' that they'd gotten for the Gold Saucer. In the filtered light from the trees, it seemed to almost shine with a green whisper of color over its pearl surface. It seemed as if even the soft animal noises of the woods quieted. Gentle, reassuring, Tifa wrapped her arm over her friend's shoulder and gave a soft squeeze. It all came down to Aerith now and she knew that kind of importance made her friend nervous. Aerith pulled in a deep breath and gave Tifa a grateful look. Then she closed her eyes and opened her hands so that the key rested in her palms.

For a long moment, it seemed the entire world held its breath and Tifa wondered if it really did. The last of its Ancients was coming home.

Steps small but growing in surety, Aerith started forward. Without having to talk about it the rest of the group fell into positions around her. As peaceful as the forest seemed, they'd all traveled too long to think there wouldn't be monsters.

The depths of the trees didn't disappoint them.

It had been a while since Tifa had fought monsters. They didn't get attacked when they were in the Highwindand and it had been towns and ships before that. She was a little surprised at herself to find… she'd missed it. All her thoughts and worries and fears shut down when she was fighting and it was a real pleasure to feel the lightening or fire or ice coursing through her again. It was a team of three, her, Zack, and Cloud that did most of the fighting. Yuffie stayed next to Aerith who didn't always seem aware of what was going on around her and made sure none of the creatures snuck up on the Cetra while her main defenders were busy. It felt comfortable and familiar and reassuring fighting next to the two men she'd traveled so far with and Tifa realized she needed that. Seeing Cloud's wound had shaken her deeper than she could let herself admit to and, while she was fighting, for a little while at least, the fear of losing him, as strange as that seemed, disappeared.

Cloud moved with calm, economic movements and next to him Zack was his usual barely contained energy. To Tifa, watching, she didn't see much difference in the way Cloud moved now and the way he had when they'd traveled from Costa del Sol. Except, maybe, his blows were even more economic and efficient than before. They stopped just a bit sooner and… and maybe they were just a bit slower… She also noticed that the skin around his eyes never really relaxed, not even when they were walking. Little things, almost invisible things, but ones she wondered how she'd missed up until now. He caught her eyes on him once after they'd laid out a green dragon and his lips shifted a little sadly upward, knowing what she was thinking.

Aerith's healing washed over them in waves and the first time it did, it took Tifa by surprise. She'd felt Aerith's healing before and it was still recognizable. It was just… so much stronger than she was used to and her friend didn't even have to touch anyone to give it. When she'd glanced at her friend though, Aerith's eyes had been half lidded and hazy and there hadn't been any recognition in them.

They'd looked… awfully green under the curtain of her lashes…

For the first time, Tifa felt her own shiver of trepidation about this. She had to remind herself that it was just a bunch of fallen stones and all those offered in way of threat were snakes and spiders and random monsters. Nothing they couldn't handle.

She still found herself sticking close to Aerith's side when they weren't fighting though.

She wasn't the only one that noticed either. Zack kept casting glances over his shoulder at the entranced Cetra.

Slowly around them the trees started to change. At first Tifa thought it was just that the canopy overhead was getting thicker and that's why things were getting darker. It wasn't though. There was a strange twilight gloom starting to slip over the trees and the trees themselves were starting to go pale and whispering. The grass and low foliage began to disappear and even the monsters vanished. Small flickering lights, like fireflies but white instead of green, danced at the edges of their vision between the ghostly trunks of the growingly tall trees. The usual noises of trees and green disappeared into a still, waiting hush.

Aerith moved through it all with her half closed eyes and the pale, pearl green Ancient key in her palms in front of her. In the dark, against her pale skin, there was a definite green light being cast off of the oddly shaped artifact.

Tifa jumped when something bumped the back of her hand and looked over to see Cloud had fallen back from his point position to walk next to her. His eyes met hers briefly and they were very pale green with very little blue in the strange light. The back of his hand had been what had bumped against hers and she reached out and twined her fingers with his, finding relief in that touch even through their gloves. Blue spread from the edges of his irises and melted inward.

"Sephiroth is nearby." His voice was so calm and soft that it took a minute for what he'd just said to register and send a chill down her spine. She flicked a nervous look around the ghostly glowing trees they were moving through. Next to Aerith on the other side, voice just as quiet, Zack asked:

"Where?"

"Don't know." Cloud's eyes shifted away from Tifa and looked forward again. Yuffie made a noise and wrapped her arms around herself since Tifa already had Cloud's hand on the side that was away from the silent woods. It reminded her that Yuffie had had her own run in with Sephiroth years ago. Before she could reach out for her though, Zack slung an arm around the younger girl's shoulders, pulling her against his side and for once, he didn't tease.

"How can you tell?" he asked Cloud softly and again, Cloud's eyes didn't flicker.

"Don't know," he answered calmly.

Between them, Aerith moved slowly but steadily forward into the growing darkness of a world lit only by pale, glowing trees and silence.


	90. Chapter 90: Lights in the Dark

_Okay, hopefully this will all come through all right because my connection at home is… ify. __**Ladywisdom**__ – thank you! I admit, it was weird switching from the first dozen or so chapters into what it's turned into. The story just wouldn't stop and I kind of had to scramble to keep up. As clunky as it was I'm glad it's readable. __**Vanilla raindrops**__ – dum dum DUNNNN – lol. Yep, poor Cloud. He was really starting to be much too happy. I had to do something terrible to him. And – total agreement. Nothing beats 'let's mosey'… except maybe 'you look like a bear in a marshmallow'. How many chapters? Good question, the story does seem to go on forever doesn't it? But I'm on chapter 103 right now in my write ahead and I'm thinking somewhere around 110 we should come to the end of our crazy ride. At least that's what I'm thinking now. Ask me when I hit 110 ;) __**dis**__ – officially, eh? I need a pin or a button or a badge or something. Who knows what kind of condition Tifa was when she got carried out of the exploded reactor? That's what potions are for. But I had to do something special for Seph's sword. After all, he's so busy messing up so many characters with it on a regular basis. Good point too – Reno knows what would happen if he tried to leave the Turks and Cissnei has never been on her own outside of them (at least in my story). I have plans ahead for them though, never fear ;) __**Fairheartstrife!**__ – yep, yep. The characters don't listen to me either when I try to give them advice. Cloud does need Tifa and even though I'd intended her to hold out on the 'I love you' admission, she just wasn't having it anymore. Almost ninety chapters in and the girl just has to blurt it out – lol. __**OCV **__– we'll have to hunt down whoever was handing out Cloud plushies last time and grab you one too. Well, I know that Cloud uses 'let's mosey' and Cid reams him out in the video game but it just seemed more like a Zack appropriate phrase in my current story. Wo0t for the indy reference catch! lol – I'm having a bit too much fun with the team of Zack/Yuffie. That much hyperness just begs to be abused. __**Akuma**__ – I shall endeavor to keep the suspense growing for the next three chapters too. Lovin' the fact that you're enjoying this. __**Jini**__ – awwww, thank you. I don't think a story is worth reading if the characters aren't the real center of it and I'm so flattered you think I'm doing a good job at it. I really do want them to seem like friends and family as much as they are a team. As for cliffhangers… er, sorry? __**: 'D**__– you are such an absolute trip! Take up all kinds of wild room with your reviews. They always make me grin like an idiot and just make my day glow. Though – I don't plan the cliffhangers this way, I swear! Lol. They just write themselves that way. I'm not done with Cloud by any stretch – wait, that's not helping my claims of non-evil, is it? And yeah! I'm glad somebody applauded Shera. There's only so much abuse anyone should have to live under. Though I'm with you… poor Cid. So, I guess the question is – does anyone have Zack plushies to hand out too? __**mc**__ – it's true. Nobody seems to mind handling icky bandages. Never thought of it. Let's say it has something to do with the fact they all wear gloves so much. Or maybe they just rub it off on their pants like kids. Good point. And – wow, I'm flattered you reread the chapters you like. I know you do for my shorts in my other fic but it really means a lot to me that the chapters in this long, drawn out saga get reread too. I will do my best to give you many more to want to go back and read again. And, since you asked, Cloud's left arm stopped working when he was in the ring. I put it in and then sweated bullets that someone would pick up on it too soon and blow my entire – Cloud's got the stigma! situation chapters and chapters later. Any readers that did pick up on it though were nice enough not to give me away though by saying so in the reviews. I always worry my foreshadowing is too heavy handed (Aerith's foreshadowing is intentionally thickly spread however – lol) __**Iskra**__ – I adore reviews for each chapter. It makes me feel like I get to re-enjoy each one all over again from a different viewpoint. And yes! That's exactly how I felt about Shera's situation. Couldn't have put it better myself. In fact, I'm flattered and glad you think I did good with all the characters' reactions in the last few chapters. I've got a lot of heavy stuff rolling down on them and I admit to being a bit worried I might either not do them justice or over do it. As for Aerith… __**lexi-yeesh**__ – how could I resist 'let's mosey'? and now I'VE got a picture of Cloud toe bouncing in my head. Aerith and clones and Sephiroth, oh my! Yep, the party is just starting there. And heh – glad you enjoyed Yuffie. She refuses to be boring to write for. __**Tae**__ – lol! You made me laugh so hard. First – oh, I'll fix him all right… second – blushing beam. Third – isn't it just though… and fourth – oh, you ain't seen nothing yet! v__**x-luna-xv**__ – thumbs up. If I made it a bit painful to read Cloud's part than I did something right – wo0t! And yeah, Tifa just couldn't keep it in anymore. We'll see how much longer Cloud can manage. and of course **peekchan** - thank you again for editing me despite the chickens.  
_

Chapter 90: Lights in the Dark

There was no clearing or break in the palely glowing trees. One minute they were deep in endless dreamtime woods and the next their toes were at the very edge of a lake whose water seemed endlessly black and as still as glass. Tifa reached out and caught Aerith's shoulder, not sure her friend would stop and Aerith inhaled and shook her head, looking up and around. Her eyes were still hazy and not entirely focused but when she looked over at Tifa she managed a soft smile.

"It's like music. And voices. And humming. Like trying to pick out one instrument in a symphony. It's beautiful… and frustrating."

"Are there supposed to be lights in the water?" Zack asked, killing the mystical moment and Tifa slipped her arm around Aerith's waist and looked. Below them in the dark of the water, strange spearheads of green-sheened white moved. Like eels. There was no visible bottom to the water and the pale traces of light were small. It was reassuring until Tifa realized that they were either small and close to the surface… or they were huge and much deeper down. Her fingers tightened around Cloud's hand on the other side of her but he was looking with narrow eyes across the water and didn't respond.

"So… now what?" Yuffie asked from the curve of Zack's side. She was chewing her bottom lip and instead of looking at the water, she was looking around the area. "I mean, are we there yet?"

The way she phrased the question made Tifa's lips curve upward and she looked over at Aerith. Her friend was frowning and looking across the water at the glowing woods on the other side.

"I don't… I don't know," Aerith supplied, seeming to shake some of the haze off of her, starting to look uncertain. "It's here. Right where it wants to be. Or almost where it wants to be. See?"

She raised her hand with the key in it and the thin pearl artifact was literally floating over her open palm. Somehow, despite the white trees, the lights in the black water and using materia all the time, the floating key made Tifa feel like she'd stepped into a children's story.

And all the really old children's stories were a lot darker and prone to tragedy than people liked to remember.

"Maybe we can just circle around the lake," Yuffie suggested and Zack looked away from the key to judge it.

"Without disturbing the water," he added after a minute's decision and Tifa nodded. It made as much sense as anything else. Maybe Aerith's key wanted to be just on the other side of the water.

She really hoped to all things good and bright that it didn't want to be _in_ the water. The more she watched those strange dragon eel lights in the dark water the more the thought they might actually be very big and very deep down nibbled away at the edges of her mind.

"No." It was Cloud's voice and it was flat and emotionless. She turned her head to look at him and he was still staring out over the water, the white light making his eyes pale colored in the dark. They all waited but he didn't offer anything else and after a moment, Zack asked:

"Dude?"

"It's ahead," Cloud's voice was sure. "Not on the other side of the water."

There was a moment of silence as the group digested it and then Zack asked:

"How do you know?"

Cloud turned his head and for a moment as he did so, the pale light stopped reflecting off his eyes and they were glowing an intense blue. His brows came down and he looked young for a moment.

"I don't know. I just – know it."

Zack digested it and then put his hand back to lift his sword clear.

"Okay. You girls stay here. I'll just swim on out and see what's there." His boot touched the tip of the water and Tifa watched those lights so deep down stop their mindless swimming and start to head toward their section of the shore.

"Uh!" she let go of Aerith to reach out and catch Zack's shoulder. His eyes met hers. He wasn't sure about this either. But he trusted Cloud and if his friend said the temple was there, it was there. Or at least worth looking for. "Can't we – " Tifa's mind raced for something that wouldn't put them in the water with the white lights. "Can't we look for a bridge or something first? Maybe we came in at the wrong spot?"

Zack looked a little relieved.

"Can't hurt to look," he agreed. Tifa looked back at the group and wondered why she and Zack were the only ones making sensible suggestions. She was used to Cloud knowing what to do, or at least pretending he knew what to do, which was almost as good. But he wasn't offering anything now and his face was tight as he stared out over the water again. She looked back at Zack.

"Split up?"

He thought about it and nodded. For once he wasn't striking a pose or looking 'noble'. Instead he just looked thoughtful and slightly worried but still competent. Tifa found it strangely reassuring.

"Got your PHS?" he asked and Tifa tapped the one that Cloud had given her. He looked over at Yuffie who was fidgeting by the edge of the water and looking like she wanted to kick a pebble in and yet was telling herself what a very bad idea that would be. "You got one?"

Her head came up and she nodded, apparently able to fight ADD and listen to conversations at the same time.

"Of course! The White Rose of Wutai must always be able to order take out at a moment's notice!"

Tifa pulled the girl into a quick hug. Crap, at least someone was acting normal. Weird… but normal. Zack grinned and his face relaxed a little.

"Okay, here's plan. The lake's not that big. I mean we can see the other side from here. So we should be able to keep an eye on each other too. We'll split in two groups and circle around the lake and meet up on the other side. Then we'll… uh, take it from there. PHS in case anything comes up." He nodded and then looked questioningly at Tifa. Who gave him a shrug but nodded as well. Yes, they were both capable of making their own decisions and coming up with their own plan of action, it was just… they both looked over at Cloud. It was just they were used to his leadership. It would have been nice to have him at least chip in an opinion. He hadn't moved though and Tifa wasn't even sure he'd heard her.

"You take the Great Ninja Yuffie," she offered. "I'll take Aerith and Cloud." Aerith looked relieved and Zack gave Tifa a look that asked if she really wanted both of the spacey people in her ground. She nodded. She'd feel better if Yuffie was with Zack. He was the better fighter. She'd also promised Aerith she'd be there for her so that meant that was her team. Cloud… she didn't want to let Cloud out of her sight when he was acting the way he was and he was a better fighter than her too. It just seemed the most sensible break up and Zack gave her a quick smile. He seemed a little less 'Zack' than usual but not in a bad way. More in a… quieter, more steady way. The way she'd kind of imagine he'd act in about twenty years or so. Then he gave her a wink.

"So, we'll meet on the other side. Sis."

It had her smiling and she nodded. It was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

"Okay. Come on," she told her team and Aerith moved over to wrap an arm around hers, giving Zack and Yuffie a weak smile.

"Don't step in the water, okay?" she instructed and they both nodded, Zack with as much determination as Yuffie. Tifa caught Cloud's hand in hers and he turned his jade colored eyes to look blankly at her. She gave his fingers a squeeze and his lips shifted briefly. He gave a glance at his sister and Zack and then followed as Tifa started around the side of the lake closest to her. Zack and Yuffie headed in the other direction.

They couldn't stay linked the way they were of course. The trees grew randomly and there was a great deal of picking their way carefully over giant, white glowing roots and weaving away from the lake when they couldn't. She'd expected the trees to feel funny under her fingers the first time she touched one but they just felt like trees despite the white glow and the lack of leaves. It was reassuring and Tifa reached out even when she didn't exactly have to in order to feel the roughness of their bark under her fingertips. Aerith came directly behind her and Cloud took up the last spot. From time to time, Tifa would turn her head to look across the lake and sometimes, she caught sight of Zack's tall form and Yuffie's slender, flighty one. It was reassuring.

But the white traces of light continued to move under the glass dark water and no breeze or sound whispered through the woods.

Tifa finally paused when she noticed she was starting to get a stitch in her side and she leaned a hand against a tree near the edge of the water and looked across. It was empty for a long moment and then she caught the flicker of Zack's hair, obvious against the pale white of the trees. She squinted. Shouldn't they have met up with each other by now?

As the thought sank in, she turned and looked back the way they'd come. It looked like they were exactly halfway around the lake. Yet they'd been walking for long enough for Tifa to be tired and Aerith had dropped down to sit on a root as soon as she'd stopped.

It was taking them an awfully long time to get around such a small lake.

She took a drink from her water bottle and then pulled out the PHS. Cloud had gone back to looking across the lake and Aerith took the bottle when Tifa offered it to her. Her friend's face was flushed and she was breathing heavy but her eyes were greener than usual and not entirely focused. The key floated over her open palm, lazily rotating. Tifa looked away from it with a blink to break the spell and opened the phone.

Zack picked up on the second ring.

"You feel like we're walking around in circles too?" he asked without preamble.

"Well, I don't feel like I'm covering the same ground over and over but… we should be back together by now," Tifa offered.

"Yeah," she could almost hear him rubbing the back of his neck. Yuffie was chirping something in the background but it sounded like she was talking about pagoda paint and so Tifa didn't focus too hard on it. Zack exhaled over the phone.

"So do we keep walking or try to backtrack?"

Tifa looked at her two companions. Then she looked back the way they'd come. Then she looked in the direction they'd been heading. She wished she knew how long they'd been walking but she hadn't thought to check the time on her PHS and under the silent trees there didn't seem to be any darkening or lightening to indicate the passage of time.

"Did you see anything on your way to where you are?" she asked.

"Nope, nada," he answered and she suddenly realized how good it was to hear his voice. At least he had Yuffie to listen to. Tifa's two companions were as silent as ghosts and even that thought wasn't reassuring. "We keep going a little longer?" Zack asked and she nodded before remembering he couldn't see it over the phone.

"Well, the phones seem to be working fine. And we didn't see anything either. If we go back we're just where we started. Maybe the lake is wider across the way it's probably deeper than it looks. I can still kind of see you and Yuffie sometimes and we haven't been attacked by anything. We might as well."

He made a noise, sounding, for a second, like Cloud.

"I can only see you. Blondie and Aerith both blend in with the white too well. But yeah – you're right. All we're doing, at the worse, is wasting time if we keep going forward and I haven't seen any signs of – Cloud's imaginary friend."

Sephiroth. Tifa was suddenly glad Zack hadn't said the name out loud. She didn't necessarily believe in bad luck but mentioning the silver haired man seemed to be an invitation if it did exist. They'd both been counting on meeting up again quickly if something did happen on the other side of the lake but that seemed to be out of the question now. It was either push ahead… or retreat the way they'd come and still not know what to do.

Tifa sighed.

"Okay. I guess we mosey a bit more."

Zack chuckled over the phone.

"Right."

The line went dead and Tifa kept it to her ear and stared across the water a little longer.

They had to be doing something wrong. Or, if not wrong, at least not right. They had to be missing something. They had the key. They had a Cetra with them. That meant there had to be a way to get in or the Ancients would have never made a key in the first place. So what were they doing, or not doing, that they should be? She frowned and looked down at the black water. Then she looked back at her friend. Aerith had gone into a vague staring trance but Tifa recognized it was as much from being tired and scared and needing to shut down for a little while as anything else. She got up and moved over to sit down next to her friend, leaning her shoulder against Aerith's. Aerith stirred and looked over.

"It's all whispers in my head. I can't make out what they're saying but they're so restless. We're close." She shook her head. "I just don't know how to get closer."

"Do you think it really is in the middle of the lake?" Tifa asked and Aerith squinted out over the water and nodded after a minute.

"It keeps tugging inward," she said and Tifa looked out over the water. She couldn't see Zack or Yuffie anymore. Cloud stood at the edge of the water like a statue and his eyes didn't blink and they'd never once left the middle of the lake. Tifa hated times like this. She knew there was an answer and it was probably right in front of them but she had no idea what it was and she knew, just knew, that she'd feel amazingly stupid at how obvious it was when they finally did figure it out. She focused on what they did have.

They had a Cetra. They had a key.

They were stuck on the edge of a repeating lake with Cloud going funny on her and Aerith getting green stuck in her eyes.

Crap.

"Do you think it's the key?" she asked. Aerith looked down at it for a minute as it rotated slowly above her palm. Then she stood up and stepped to stand next to Cloud at the edge of the lake. Tifa, not sitting out of arm's range, stayed where she was and watched. Her friend turned and extended her arm so that the floating key pointed to the right of the lake. Then she turned to point it toward the left.

As she turned however, her arm was extended over the lake itself and as she did that, the spindly little key began to glow. Not brightly but with its own light instead of just reflected light. Aerith stopped and adjusted her arm a little. Tifa stood up and moved over to join her. The water in front of them rippled suddenly. Barely there but it was movement over glass. Tifa noticed the white lights angling toward them again but, squinting, she also thought she saw –

"Rocks?"

Aerith wasn't paying attention but as Tifa watched she saw rocks as black as the water just under the surface. They were round and looked like they'd risen from the bottom of the lake however far below that was even though she hadn't actually seen them rise. They also looked slick and shiny and they were spaced unevenly apart. She opened up her PHS and Zack picked up with a:

"Roadkill Café. You kill 'em, we grill 'em."

"Zack…" Tifa didn't look away from the strange steps leading toward the center of the lake. "I think we found the bridge."


	91. Chapter 91: One Step Closer

Chapter 91: One Step Closer

"You know, I'd expected you to sound more enthused about that," Zack offered as Tifa continued to stare at the unevenly spaced black steps leading toward the center of the lake in front of her.

"Yeah…" she commented slowly. "Except these are creepy steps that lead to the center of an empty lake."

"Okay. Stay put," Zack was calm. "Yuffie and I will retrace our steps and we'll be right there. Not like the steps are going anywhere if they've been waiting for centuries. Just stay put."

Tifa was just in the process of forgetting she was on the phone and nodding when Cloud very calmly stepped forward onto the first pillar top. The soles of his boot made the water ripple outward and the glowing lights moved with more speed and determination toward them.

"Cloud – "

She started forward to grab him but he was already calmly making his way to the next pillar and then the next, his long legs making them no more than an easy stride for him. His face was tight but his movements were calm and relaxed and he didn't turn back to look.

"Crap!"

"Tifa? Tifa!" Zack's voice over the phone and it sounded like he was running. She could hear Yuffie chirping in the background. "What's going on?"

"Cloud's going across."

Aerith looked at her but then she shrugged, a 'what can you do?' movement and carefully moved out to balance herself on the first pillar as well.

"Crap…"

"Tifa? Hey, let him go. He's a big boy. We're almost there and we'll catch up to him once we're a group, okay?"

"Yeah. Right," Tifa's tone of voice conveyed her opinion of that as she gingerly moved to the first stone. It stayed steady under her but she didn't trust it. She carefully judged the next distance and tried not to pay attention to the way the water was staring to look white and green around her. "So, it looks like the sleepwalkers have both decided to go across. So I'm going too. And I can't really do this while I'm talking on the phone."

"Tifa, I'm not kidding. Don't you dare hang up!"

"Zack!" she protested as she moved to the next pillar. "I am not going to risk falling in that water. It looks _cold_."

She moved to the next step and it was really easy to see. Something about all the luminescence in the water right next to it. She kept her eyes very firmly on the stone in front of her and didn't look.

"Babe, I am so not kidding you. I will kill you personally myself if you hang up."

"Hey, Zack" Tifa had to hop a little to reach the next pillar and she used her other arm for balance. "Can you see us? I mean, if you look at the lake, can you see us in the middle of it?"

There was a brief pause with only the sounds of quick breathing and footsteps. When his voice came back it was hard.

"No. I can't, Teef. You need to get back to the shore. Now."

"I can't. Aerith is ahead of me." At least she assumed her friend still was. She didn't dare look away from the little steps to check but she hadn't heard any splash to indicate otherwise. "She's got the key and the steps might disappear when she gets to the other side."

As soon as she said it, she realized that meant she'd end up in the water. With the white, glowing things. She hurried her steps a little and almost slipped.

"Zack, I really can't do this with one hand stuck to my ear."

"Yes, you can. Just pretend it's a tray of drinks and you're taking it across a floor someone's spill beer on. Describe where you were on the shore when the steps showed up so I'll know it when we get there."

Idiot, she chided herself. She should have dug a deep 'x' into the ground or something. A little too late to think of that now though.

"It was trees, Zack. It looked like everywhere else on this damn shore." She moved to the next rock and the next and wondered how far out she had to go before she either fell off the last one or something appeared to give her drier ground. She racked her brain. "There was a break right near the shore in the trees. Aerith sat on a root that went sideways next to the shore but back behind the break. It was big enough for both of us. The tree on the other side had a branch that was lower than the other trees around it and it stuck out over the water, almost as long as my arm. Cloud's footprints might still be in the sand at the edge of the water. He stood there forever. Oh – and the evil white things in the water have all come over to where we are and they're kind of glowy. Does that help?"

His voice came across the phone broken with great patches of silence between the words. She couldn't understand him and a moment later…

The phone went dead.

Tifa paused, just a moment, to shut her eyes. It was just – it was almost too expected. Of course her phone would lose its connection when she was in the middle of an evil lake surrounded by glowing evil eels and the only person acting sane at the moment was on the other end. It was tempting, really very tempting to chuck the phone into the water but she hit its power button a couple of times instead to prove to herself that it really wasn't going to come back on and then she tucked it into her pocket.

"Son of a gun, mother two shoes, last call, evil movie night, crap!" she cursed under her breath, moving a bit faster now that her arms were both free for balance. She even risked a peek in front of her but it was nothing but black water and distant trees. There certainly wasn't sight of either Cloud or Aerith. Tifa narrowed her eyes and moved forward a bit faster. They'd either fallen off the end without a sound or else this damn lake was playing head games. She voted for the latter.

The luminescence was bright around her and she concentrated on where her feet were going. So she noticed when the black rocks turned to a much more common and sensible gray color. Careful not to lose her balance, she looked up again and saw the sky was a hazy white instead of evening black. Ahead of her was a wide sandy bank with Aerith hovering on the edge of it near the lake that was suddenly nothing but clear, normal looking water. It was all Tifa could do not to run the last few steps but she didn't want to risk falling into water that might suddenly turn dark and deep and full of florescent shadows.

She grabbed Aerith's hands as soon as she hit the shore and almost fell into her friend's arms.

"Oh crap!" it seemed to be her theme word for this entire trip so far. "Where did you go? I was so worried." Her head came up and she looked around. "Where's Cloud?"

"There's something wrong," Aerith was distracted and her hands clutched at Tifa. "Something's wrong. I can feel it. Something terrible's just happened!"

Tifa didn't see Cloud anywhere but the small island or whatever it was they were on was covered in fog and she couldn't see far to start with. So she wrapped her hands around her friend's arms and moved her face so her eyes were directly in front of Aerith's. Keeping her voice very calm, she repeated:

"Aerith… where's Cloud?"

Her friend's eyes blinked and there was too much green in them. But they focused on her and Aerith drew in a steadying breath.

"I don't know," she answered weakly. "He was waiting for me when I got to the shore. He helped me off the last stone. I turned around to look for you and when I looked back he was gone. I didn't even hear him leave."

Tifa lifted her head and looked past her friend at the fog-shrouded shore. She couldn't see more than a few feet in any direction. So she called his name.

And then she and Aerith stood in the fog and waited.

Her friend's hand tightened on hers in the silence and Tifa felt something hard and cold close around her heart and start to squeeze.

It was taking too long.

Something dark moved in the fog and for just a moment, Tifa's breathing froze in her chest because she thought it was the same long haired silver and black figure that had been waiting for them in the Nibelheim reactor. And then it was Cloud, sunlight and dark, and she surged forward to throw her arms around him with a soft cry, dragging Aerith with her.

He made a noise when she impacted with him, soft and barely there and he felt wet. His eyes were very blue. But his arms closed around both her and Aerith and held them tightly against himself and his warmth.

"You're soaked!" Aerith protested even though she was holding him just as tightly as Tifa was and, wet or not, didn't seem inclined to let go. He gave a soft grunt that might have been amusement or just a wry sound. Very gently he drew them both higher up onto the shore with him, though he didn't let go of either of them for a moment. His voice was its usual soft calm though as he answered:

"Those lights in the water… they're small dragons and apparently they can come ashore."


	92. Chapter 92: Lost in the Fog

Chapter 92: Lost in the Fog

They moved further up the shore and it was only a few steps before they lost sight of the water's edge. Tifa pulled to a stop and the others did as well. Cloud let go of Aerith but she stayed close to his side all the same.

"I'm surprised you could find us," she told him softly. "Everything's so foggy with lost memories here."

Tifa looked at her friend, worried about the word choice but Cloud just made a soft sound in his throat.

"Tifa called." He said it as if it were answer enough and maybe it was. Tifa stayed tucked in against his side, even though it was making her clothing damp, and didn't miss the way he didn't try to stop her. He must need her touch as much as she needed his, if he wasn't telling her not to let herself get wet because she might get cold. He was acting more like himself too and that made her heart loosen, a little bit, inside her chest. His hand rubbed absently over her hip and he looked down at her.

"Do you still have the PHS?"

It was her turn to make a wry sound and she shook her head as she dug it out of her pocket.

"I lost my connection just before I hit the gray stones on the way over," she told him as she handed it to him anyway and he nodded, brows low over his eyes as he flipped it open and lifted it to his ear. The pale brows dipped lower and Tifa had the ridiculous urge to smirk. Sometimes you just had to try things for yourself anyway, she knew. Aerith was looking around.

"It's not supposed to be like this," her voice was soft and a little dreamy now that she was 'safe' enough again to let herself drift. "But the island has been forgetting itself for so many centuries now. It's forgetting what it's supposed to be."

"It's not going to 'forget' itself while we're here, is it?" Tifa asked carefully as Cloud took out and checked the battery on the phone before putting it back in. Aerith smiled a little and shook her head.

"No. I'm here. I can hear it trying to remember itself."

Tifa wasn't sure if she liked the sound of that or not. She didn't do well with ethereal situations. So she concentrated on the practical.

"Can you… _ask_ the stones to stay so Zack can come over too?"

Aerith shook her head.

"It's… too old. I can feel it trying to read my thoughts, trying to change itself to fit what it finds there, what I think it should be but I don't… I'm not Cetra the way it's used to a Cetra feeling. And it's too old to adjust to me now."

Tifa wasn't sure the explanation helped her feel better at all but she nodded. What else were they going to do?

"Is it going to be helpful or hurtful?" Cloud asked, simply, calmly accepting the idea of the island being sentient as he handed the PHS back to Tifa.

"Helpful," Aerith answered. And then paused too long. "I think…"

Cloud gave a low grunt. His arm gave Tifa's waist one last squeeze and then he let go and turned to face away from the water. His eyes focused on the slowly shifting mist in front of them and he reached back to unsling the sword across his back.

"Hang on," Tifa darted back toward the water as far as she dared while still being able to keep an eye on the others and then she drew a huge arrow in the sand, pointing the direction they'd gone.

Just in case…

Aerith was cupping the floating key in her palms again where it turned slowly and pointlessly and Cloud was still focused on the fog in front of them, even if he did turn his head just enough that Tifa caught a glint of blue. Still keeping a protective eye on her.

She wondered how Aerith hadn't heard the noise it must have created when the creature from the water tried to drag Cloud off. She wondered why neither of them had heard the sounds of fighting. She didn't know what the answer was but she was pretty sure, even if she had, she wouldn't have liked it. Brushing off her hands, she hurried back to join her companions.

"Let's find whatever we need to find and go home," she suggested as she caught up to them. "I'd really do just about anything right now to feel sunshine on my skin."

Cloud gave a grunt of acknowledgement and started forward and Aerith came at his shoulder. Tifa followed right behind her. Aerith had to lead the way but there was no way Tifa was letting her get far enough before or behind that the fog could reach out and eat her too. Cloud had apparently decided to play meat-shield and go first.

They stayed close together as the mists swallowed them and the sand under Tifa's feet didn't change. She took to dragging her heel through it every third step. Partially in case Zack found his way across but mostly because she thought they just might be going in circles and never even know it.

Though she did have a sneaking suspicion that, if they were going in circles, the sand was just erasing her marks behind her…

When the fog parted just enough to let them see the wide gray stone entrance to what was either a carved mountain or a building in front of them, Tifa couldn't help but feel that the entrance hadn't been there just moments before. It reminded her of one of those dreams you had where you kind of knew you were dreaming and so you got to change what was going on. As if they'd needed a door and so a door had appeared. Except she wasn't sure if it was Aerith or the island that was dreaming and so she wasn't sure she liked the idea of walking through the door. Even Aerith paused in front of the wide stone entrance, green eyes huge and her hand fumbled backward to find Tifa's. Her voice sounded strained as she murmured:

"Oh…"

Tifa looked over at her friend and stepped forward to stand next to her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Cloud stood on the other side of the Cetra and was giving the entrance a careful scrutiny.

"It's – talking to me – " Aerith's statement had Tifa's head whipping around to look at her friend and Aerith tugged forward slightly. Tifa didn't let go of her hand and so she went with her to stand on the threshold of the towering stone doorway.

"The building – it's talking. But… I can't understand it. Wait! I can't understand!"

Aerith reached out and laid her hand against the stone and Tifa jerked back with a noise. Her hand slipped out of Aerith's and the dreadful, overwhelming jumble of voices and sounds and inhuman noises broke as well. She still twitched. For just a second, a split second, her mind had felt too small and tight and bursting with things that shouldn't be inside it. Cloud's arm was around her waist and her back was against his chest. His warmth was real and solid and comforting and she struggled to concentrate on that. In front of her, hand still on the stone, Aerith was murmuring 'yes, yes. I see. Yes…'

Tifa had to resist the urge to reach out and wrench her friend away. For that moment, she'd felt as if what was in her head was hungry and wanted to stay. Was it because she wasn't Cetra? Or was it inside Aerith's head as well wanting the same?

"Aerith?" she called her friend's name softly and when that didn't work, she took a step forward, Cloud moving with her because he hadn't let go, and said her friend's name again, sharper this time. "Aerith!"

Her friend made a noise and jerked around. The movement was disjointed and uncoordinated and Cloud let go of Tifa to reach out and steady her. His other hand was still holding his sword and he didn't seem inclined to let go. Aerith blinked hazy eyes at him and reached out. Her fingers found his covered arm.

"It's inside you," her voice was a whisper. "They're all inside you now…"

"Aeris," Tifa spoke the name softly, the old, teasing nickname and she reached out and wrapped her fingers around her friend's arm. Aerith turned to look at her and blinked, eyes clearing, though there was still a haze around their edges. For a moment, Aerith looked as if she was going to cry and she moved over to burrow into Tifa's arms. Cloud's face was expressionless and his eyes were reflective glass as he let go of her. At Tifa's glance, he simply, barely, shook his head. Tifa held Aerith close against her and stroked her hair.

"Why don't we go back?" she asked, completely serious. "We don't have to be here. We'll go back across and get the others and then we'll decide if we want to come back here or not."

She meant it but before she was even finished Aerith was shaking her head against her. Cloud took several steps into the hallway beyond the entrance. Tifa had to resist the urge to reach out and shake them both and, deep inside her, she started to feel the slowly twist of fear. Something wasn't right here and it was affecting both of the people she was with.

But she wasn't strong enough to knock them both out and drag them back – if there was anywhere to drag them to. And she couldn't leave them.

"Cloud…"

He turned his head at her question and jade flickered over his eyes, splintering into impossible blue as he looked at her.

"Stay here," he told her gently. In her arms, Aerith straightened and she turned to look at him, shaking her head even before Tifa could start to.

"We need her," Aerith's statement surprised Tifa and her friend looked over at her. "We do. Both of us. Because you're all that reminds us of who we are. I get it. I finally do."

"Okay," Tifa held up her hand. "I don't. And I'm getting really creeped out with all the weird stuff. What's going on?"

Aerith shook her head and her eyes were so, so sad.

"I'm sorry, Teef. It's just – everything's so loud here. It's all in my head and in my ears and in my heart. I keep forgetting who I am for seconds at a time and it scares me. You remind me of who I am though. I'm sorry but… I need you. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own."

Tifa almost laughed and she wrapped both arms around her friend.

"Silly Aeris," she teased. "Of course I'm here for you. Don't be sorry. You're my friend."

Aerith hugged her back, just a little too hard, but Tifa didn't make any noise in protest.

"I know I'm supposed to be brave enough to do this on my own," her friend confessed into her shoulder.

"No, you're not," Tifa assured her. "None of us are. That's why we're together."

"You're brave enough," Aerith whispered and Tifa choked another laugh and shook her head.

"No. I'm not. Not at all. But I've got you and – " she lifted her head and her heart suddenly froze in her chest. Against her, Aerith didn't move. Beyond them, the hallway was completely, echoingly empty.

"You've got me," Aerith whispered sadly.


	93. Chapter 93: Questions Without Answers

_I just want it stated for the record that, if you guys kill me, you'll never find out how the story ends. I just want everyone to remember that. I will now slowly back toward the door, throw the next three chapters at ya'll and hope the time it takes you to read them gives me enough of a head start.** OCV **- thank you. I certainly try my darnest to keep everyone on their toes. There's a balance between giving readers what they expect to satisfy them and keeping them off balance with unexpected stuff. I think most everyone can see this is going somewhere but hopefully not to the point where it won't still be a 'hang on tight' kind of ride. And wo0t! for my now having a catch phrase! That's grand! Hopefully unlike lightning, I will be able to strike the same place more than once ;) **Fairheartstrife** - Ahhhh! yeah, that part made me yell when I wrote it too. This comes of the characters doing their own thing and never telling me what's going on. Though... I don't know that these next three chapters are going to be any better. Don't abandon me for demonegg yet! **mc **- yeah, Tifa's not so good at listening to what Cloud told her to do, is she? Of course, you think he'd be used to that by now. We'll find more Cloud plushies. I think we're going to have the manufacturers working overtime making those. If you need somebody to hang onto in the meantime, I'll sacrifice a hand. I hardly know what they're doing anymore either. **ladywisdom** - yeah, that would have been bad. Can you imagine Yuffie in charge of Cloud and Aerith? lol let's see if I can keep up the level of intensity ;) **iskra **- exactly! Fairy tales aren't half as sweet and innocent as Disney has made them. Glad you like that. And, you know, that's a really brilliant observation. I hadn't even thought of it but the forgetfulness in the temple IS like mako poisoning. Wow. That's an awesome call. Little bit more of Aerith's fate, your mantra does pop up in my head when I write for her. Wish I knew whether it was going to work or not. As for chapter 95? well, ...** akuma** - yep, everything got kind of blended together and then swirled around with my locations. It seemed to work though so I went with it. Glad you're enjoying - that's what's most important to me for my readers. Keep that ominous music going. We're not out of the woods... er, temple yet. **vanillia raindrops** - wow... just wow. Thank you so much for the compliments. It means a heck of a lot to me that you think I've done well keeping everyone in character. And thanks for the boost on the descriptives as well. I hate loggy descriptions that take up too many pages too. And yeah! I agree and couldn't have phrased it better - Zack really is the best thing to happen to Cloud and Tifa, isn't he? And he so wrote himself into the storyline. I'm glad my favorite trio is so popular with you. I never have as much fun as when I'm writing them together. As for chapter 88 - lol! That would be funny/creepy - Cid having cameras installed in each of the rooms. But nah - for some reason the team just automatically assumes with no basis in fact _at all_ that if Tifa is missing and Cloud is missing and they're not where they're supposed to be than that they must be making out somewhere. I have no idea where the team gets that crazy idea but they seem to have it. **demonegg** - see? this is what happens when Real Life sneaks in and steals you away from the fantasy world. Tifa goes and confesses to Cloud and all kinds of craziness ensues. Not that you couldn't just go back and read it later, unlike the situations in RL - lol. But I'm glad you caught up and yep, I try to let them keep their strength even while they're falling apart. I think that's what makes real heroes. Hanging on - by tooth and nail if necessary - when everything's already fallen apart. But you already knew that. ;) **lexi-yeesh** - wow, I so adore your reviews. Seriously, it's like having you right next to me where we can both yell comments at the movie screen or jump around in circles together. And wellllll.... the temple and the city have kind of merged so it's anyone's guess what happens. Oh, what the heck. Everyone's going to know what happens by the end of chapter 95. **jianre** - glad you're liking the descriptives. Zack and Yuffie - yeah, they're a dangerous combo, but I'm kinda having fun with them. Especially if they ever decide to gang up on Cloud. You know, when he's not head tripping. **Tae** - SOMEone obviously needs to force Cloud to sit down and watch Dr. Who episodes. And - just couldn't resist Cloud needing to check the cell phone. It seemed such a guy thing to do. I too adore Cloud-the-security-blanket. How could he not be? It's just nice that Tifa doesn't mind sharing in that particular area. I'd seriously be glomping him if he were around during a scooby-doo situation. Heck... why wait for that. Er. and yeah! Zack and Yuffie. In a less tense time, I think they'd be tearing things apart with their evil - I mean, mischief. As for 'Tifa called'... how could I resist? **vx-luna-xv **- well, here's the explanation of why Cloud left the girls alone. And - I'm loving that you're antsy. Talk about a serious compliment. Now let's see if I can carry it through. And to **Peek-chan** - thanks for not killing me. Thanks for editing me. And thanks for constantly threatening to bean my characters on the head - because they deserve it.** :'D** - there you are! I thought I'd lost you, Dis and writer. Yeah, I had the scooby doo song going in my head too with the whole 'let's split up gang!'. And w0ot~! Zack plushies! I think we might have a line of paying clients lining up for those. Well, here's the next three chapters! Hope all ya'll enjoy!  
_

Chapter 93: Questions Without Answers

"Where's Cloud?" Tifa asked and wasn't at all sure she wanted to hear the answer. Aerith didn't move out of her arms.

"He can't be here," her friend's voice was just a little bit dreamy.

"What?" Tifa's voice came out sharper than she'd meant it to but when Aerith didn't answer her, she pulled back a bit and caught her friend's shoulders. "What?!" she repeated more fiercely. Aerith's eyes, too sad and too full of green, met hers.

"Didn't you guess? Jenova lives inside of him. This place was designed to keep Jenova away. So he can't be here."

Tifa had to fight the urge to just keep on rolling with her 'what?' questions. Her mind stumbled over what she'd just been told and the panic closed around her heart like being swallowed by ice water.

"Stop. Slow down. What? Cloud? How could he have - ? How do you know that? How does this place - ? _Where is he_, Aerith?"

Aerith shook her head as if trying to organize her thoughts.

"I – I don't know. Somewhere… down. Everything falls down here that doesn't belong."

"Tell – this place to bring him back!" Tifa managed to keep her voice level but the whip crack behind it was something that could make her siblings cringe.

"I can't!" Aerith didn't exactly wail it but the sound was in her eyes all the same. "This place doesn't listen to me. I'm not enough for it. I can hear things but they can't hear me."

"All right," Tifa's hands clenched at her sides but she pulled in a deep breath. She didn't need to panic. Not just yet. Cloud was a scary guy. He would be all right on his own, for a little while at least. She pulled in another breath and it didn't help the tight band that had formed around her heart at all.

"All right," she repeated. "Then let's go and get him. If you can hear things, maybe you can hear how to get to him."

Aerith's eyes met hers.

"You haven't asked about Jenova."

Tifa resisted the urge to just sit down on the front step of the door and bury her face in her hands.

"I know," she answered weakly, reaching out and catching her friend's hand in hers. Together they both stepped through the imposing doorway, into the dark and shifting hallway where the ceiling seemed to go upward forever and the walls seemed to move when she wasn't paying attention. After a pause, Tifa looked over at Aerith and asked:

"Is that why he's been acting so strange?"

"I don't know," Aerith answered, squinted in front of her as if she were a little drunk and seeing three of an object when she knew there was only one. "I knew something was wrong with him after I woke up in Bugenhagen's living room after he opened the planet to me. I could almost hear it on him. It sounded the way Jenova sounded when it moved over the planet. I could… I could hear his body screaming. Even when he wasn't paying attention. I thought – I thought I was just still confused."

She sounded apologetic and Tifa wasn't sure she could handle that right now. She wasn't sure she could handle any soft emotions directed at her right now. She wasn't sure what was going on inside her head and her heart, just that she wanted, very badly, to concentrate on doing something and not thinking at all.

"But when we were standing in the doorway, after I touched the wall, I could see it on him. All… black and purple and twisting and wrong."

"On his arm." Tifa couldn't help herself and the words choked out of her. Aerith gave her hand a squeeze and looked over at her, worry on her face. Tifa just shook her head and wished the damn hallway would end. It couldn't possibly be as long as it seemed. Next to her, Aerith made a sound and Tifa realized she was holding her friend's hand too tight. With a rueful smile for her, she relaxed her hold a little.

How had Cloud gotten… infected? Infested? What word did you even use to indicate the fact that Jenova seemed to be, in some form or another, inside him? He'd noticed it after Nibelheim. Had something happened there? Something he hadn't mentioned and that no one else had seen? Tifa needed to find him to ask. But more, she needed to find him just to see him and reassure herself.

"When does this damn hall end?" she asked in frustration and, just like that, Aerith suddenly gave her hand a squeeze and moved to the side. For a split second it looked, to Tifa, as if her friend has just walked… sideways into a wall. And then Aerith's hand was tugging hers and she was following on faith stronger than eyesight. Suddenly there was a dark opening in front of her where there had used to be a wall. Tifa followed Aerith through.

Beyond was another hallway and she resisted the urge to shut her eyes and curse.

The trick to dealing with insane things was to stay calm and logical. It wasn't to feel panicked that a world-destroying monster was living inside of the man you were in love with. It wasn't getting emotional over the fact that your best friend was talking to walls and had too much weird green in her eyes. Calmly.

It was kind of like living with two accident prone siblings. 'Kind of' in a not at all kind of way.

So while they walked down the hallway that looked exactly like the hallway they'd just been in, Tifa kept a firm hand around Aerith's and forced herself to pull in a deep breath. After a minute, Aerith took another 'side-step' through the wall and Tifa found herself in another hallway just like the last.

It was going to be far too easy to get lost in here and Tifa really didn't want to think about being stuck here forever.

"Can you help Cloud?" she asked as she followed Aerith though another wall. She felt as if they were going slowly downward but it was impossible to tell for sure and she had a sneaking suspicion that, if it wanted to, the building could just make her think she was going down.

She wondered if it could tell she didn't like it. And what it would do if it could.

Next to her, free hand still supporting the floating 'key', Aerith shook her head.

"I – I don't know how. At first I thought it was like… like a weed? Something I could just pull out." She looked over at Tifa, eyes too large in her face and sorry. "If I could even figure out how to pull something like that out. I don't know. Sometimes I feel as if I understand what needs to be done but not how to do it. Like the way I taught myself to close cuts and make bruises heal. I know I should be able to do something but I don't know how. But here, outside when I _saw _it… it's – it's like it's a part of him. Even if I could figure out how to… pull it out, I think there's too much of him that's it and its that him."

They walked sideways through another wall and Tifa exhaled. Telling herself it was all right. They had time. A little time yet at least. If Aerith couldn't figure it out, maybe her father could. Even if they couldn't eliminate it maybe they could find a way to make it stop killing him.

Hadn't Professor Gast talked about injecting a child with the Jenova cells….?

After a silent minute, Tifa asked:

"Aerith? Where are we going?"

Aerith shook her head with a frown.

"To the center of it all. I don't… " she looked over at her friend. "Tifa, I'm so tired of saying 'I don't know', but I really don't know. I just know I have to get to the 'center'. That the answers are there. That that's where this place wants me to be." Face starting to go lost, she murmured: "I shouldn't have brought you with me."

It helped focus Tifa a bit and she made a noise.

"Nonsense. You would have walked into a wall – one that didn't become a door – by now if you were left on your own. I'm here because I can't hear a thing this place is saying. That's why you need me, remember?"

Aerith's slender fingers twined a bit tighter around hers and the brown haired girl gave her a weak smile.

"I don't know what my life would have been like without you, Teef."

"Hey, stop that," Tifa gave her friend's hand a light tug. "People only say that kind of stuff when they're about to die. Don't say things like that. Not ever. Okay?"

"I'm a coward," Aerith told her softly, not looking at her and then she shook her head again. "I am. I'm… I think I'm starting to like Zack. Not my Zack. Your Zack. Sometimes lately, when I'm with him, I feel happy. And I forget whether I'm happy because he reminds me of my Zack or whether it's because I just like the person he is. But if I let myself love him… then I'm betraying my own Zack, aren't I? And it's not fair to your Zack either because he'll never know for sure if I like him for him or if I like him because he reminds me of someone else_. I'll_ never know for sure."

"Aerith…"

"I know my Zack would want me to be happy. He'd want me to keep living my life and fall in love again. I'd want the same for him. I know, I really do, that my Zack is dead and he's not coming to see me the way he promised. I know I should move on. But… I don't really want to move on. I'm happy being in love with him even if he is dead." She sighed and it made her shoulders shake. "I don't want to fall in love with anyone else. And I really don't want to fall in love with someone that I might only love because he's close to what I used to have. It's not fair. Not to either of us…"

Tifa really didn't know what to say. She hadn't been expecting a confession like this and certainly not while they were walking through the sides of walls in an endless maze of identical hallways. She didn't think she was exactly qualified to give advice anyway considering she'd managed to avoid all the 'in love' stuff up until just recently and the relationship she had now didn't exactly seem run of the mill and normal. Instead she just squeezed her friend's hand firmly with hers and after a minute, she asked:

"Maybe… maybe you're over thinking this?" That at least she could speak from experience on. "Nothing has to happen right away." Tifa paused and thought very carefully about how to say what she was going to. "This is going to end soon. For good or bad. If it's bad… well, it won't really matter, will it? But… if it's good… if we win and stop Jenova then… we'll all go back to our lives the way they were before this. Or something like our lives before this. I mean, you'll be in Wutai probably, with your mom and your dad. Maybe you shouldn't worry about deciding things like that now. Maybe you should wait until life is back to normal and then figure out whether you want to see Zack or not. Maybe if he's not around, you'll realize you don't want to see him. Or that you do. But maybe you shouldn't fight yourself so hard about it until you've had a chance to find out away from him first."

Aerith made a sound and it might have been a sob or a laugh. Her hand was so tight around Tifa's that it was painful but she didn't try to break the grip or pull away. Instead she just looked at the flower girl and Aerith gave her a teary smile.

"That's such a practical Tifa thing to say."

Tifa gave her a weak smile.

"Well, I'm a practical Tifa kind of girl."

Aerith's head suddenly snapped around and she grabbed Tifa's hand with sudden fierceness. To Tifa, it looked as if her friend's eyes glowed.

"It's here," Aerith announced and suddenly stepped into a wall again.


	94. Chapter 94: At the End

Chapter 94: At the End

Green.

It was the first thing that seared through Tifa's mind and it was so bright she instinctively slit her eyes against it and raised a hand to shield her eyes. For a split second, her thought was to wonder if this was what Cloud's world had looked like whenever he'd opened his eyes in the tube all those years ago. And then her sight adjusted or the room dimmed a little and she realized there was a river of liquid green that, instead of flowing horizontally, was flowing vertically upward from a wide pool in the very center of the room. And, following that observation, she noticed that, unlike the rest of the forgotten hallways of this place, the room around that pool was in ragged ruins, ancient smudges of burns, broken pillars and cracked stone floor.

Aerith was on her knees on the floor next to her. Weeping in great tearing sobs. The sounds snapped Tifa out of her awe and she went to her knees next to her friend, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close into her chest. As if she somehow had to physically put herself in the way and protect her friend from whatever was tearing her heart out.

The room seemed to be throbbing like a discontent heart beat, hot and cold at the same time.

In her arms, Aerith continued to shudder with wracking sobs. The key lay on the floor next to her, forgotten, looking like a child's bleached bone. Tifa grit her teeth against it. Even she could feel the aching sorrow in the room and the awful pain of a child betrayed and uncomprehending of why. Tifa looked around with narrow eyes, fighting down the feeling of helpless panic.

And then, because it was her natural response when one of her friends was weeping in her arms, she got angry at what had caused that pain.

"Stop it!" she shouted it but it was the level, angry shout of a parent dealing with a child that had stepped too far over the line. She put the years of learned authority and sheer determination into the command, the mixed tone she used to deal with drunks, rowdy children, misbehaving dogs and men that stared too intently at her below eye level. She'd faced down an ex-SOLDIER that had killed an entire building of people to defend Zack, she could damn well face down a wretched building and a stream of green.

"I said, stop it!"

It felt like wind moaning outside the window sounded except there was no sound. And then, following the impatient snap of her voice, the feeling paused. The air hesitated. Like a whisper it died soundlessly around her. The air around her stopped pulsing like a dying animal's sides. In her arms, Aerith quieted. Tifa stayed hunched over her, stroking her hair and holding her close, eyes flicking around the room as she waited for the next attack.

Nothing came.

Aerith hesitantly lifted her face and blinked huge eyes over Tifa's shoulder.

"I really hate this place," Tifa told her softly and Aerith's arms wrapped around her in response.

"It doesn't know. It doesn't understand how to deal with me. It's too – "

"Old, I know," Tifa answered. "Outdated technology." She snorted and leaned down to press her face into her friend's hair and exhale. "I still hate this place."

Shaky, Aerith tried to get to her feet and Tifa rose and hauled her up, draping her friend's arm over her shoulders. Aerith gave her a weak smile.

"We've got to get to the pool in the middle," her friend told her and Tifa made a face.

"How did I know you were going to say that?"

It made Aerith murmur a laugh and together the two of them moved to the pool. Cautious they stood in front of the river that ran upward. Aerith was practically boneless against her and Tifa was glad she'd gotten stronger since Midgar so she could hold her friend steady. She planted her boots, determined to stay upright as long as Aerith needed her to.

She'd pretend she was Cloud and moved for nothing. The thought made her smile, even if it tore her heart. Cloud probably pretended he was that way just about as much as she was now.

In front of her the strange river of green, radiating too much **life** to be ignored, shot continually upward. Where it ended or where it came from, Tifa couldn't guess. Somehow, she felt better not knowing. Against her, Aerith shuddered.

"It's so loud," her voice was fading and she shut her eyes but she didn't fall. Tifa shot a worried look at the river of green and then back the way they'd come, noticing without surprise that there was no exit visible where they'd come in. She gave the fountain in front of them a suspicious look. Having a horrible idea about why they were standing there.

"Do you see it?" Aerith asked, eyes still closed and Tifa turned her head to look at her friend, who was far too pale and thin skinned looking.

"What?" she asked.

"The stone. In the middle of the spring. Can you see it?"

"There's a stone?" Tifa asked warily but she squinted against the light that flowed too quickly in front of her and tried to see through the liquid that wasn't liquid, the light that wasn't light. She tried to ignore the fact that sometimes… the liquid rippling past looked disturbingly like vague human bodies made of liquid glass. After a minute, she caught what might have been the shadow of a solid shape. Another long minute of watching showed her something similar in the same place as the first.

"I think so…" she hesitated softly. "Maybe."

"Oh good…." Aerith's voice was fading again and she sounded half-asleep. Or half-unconscious. "That's what we need. That will send Jenova back to sleep again."

"Why can't we find something that will just kill it?" Tifa muttered as she shifted to balance Aerith's weight a bit better on her shoulder. Aerith made an amused sound.

"Because Jenova is not alive to start with."

Tifa made a noise in her throat, sounding for a minute as if she was her absent Cloud instead of herself. Wonderful answers that weren't answers. Then she nodded.

"All right."

Aerith's eyes opened and they were only as green as they should be. She smiled.

"No," her voice was soft and gentle and sad and firm. "I have to get it. You can't touch that green and stay sane. This is my part."

Tifa was already shaking her head but Aerith was nodding.

"Yes. And you know it, Teef. You've known this was coming just as much as I have."

Tifa kept stubbornly shaking her head.

"No. No," she repeated. "I'll get a long stick and we'll knock it loose or throw my boot at it or something. This place doesn't care about whether it hurts you or not. That weird river will hurt you just as bad as it would hurt me."

Aerith's eyes were clear and beautiful.

"I love you. I always have. You make everything possible for everyone else. I can do this, Tifa." Her voice was still too quiet but it was sure. "I know I can."

"Aeris…"

Aerith gave her waist a gentle squeeze and than straightened to her own feet. She swayed as if battered by ocean storm winds but she stayed upright.

"It's my turn, remember?" she smiled and her eyes were determined. Tifa narrowed her eyes.

"I'm going to hold the back of your dress," she informed her friend and Aerith was suddenly in her arms and hugging her. Laughing. Her friend was actually laughing and it wasn't restrained or anything but honest.

"Yes," Aerith mumbled against her shoulder as Tifa hugged her tightly back. "You can hold the back of my dress. I won't be going all the way in."

Tifa made an unconvinced sound but she let her friend go when Aerith pushed away. She was scared. There was no lying about it. This place was tearing away at her friend from the inside and somehow the flowing green in front of her – Lifestream – just admit it is what it is, Tifa – the Lifestream in front of her was too raw looking and too overwhelming. She'd thought mako was too powerful and intense. Compared to the force in front of her, mako seemed mild and tame. One of those cyclones you made in two bottles of water as opposed to the real kind that swept in off the bottom of the ocean.

If she had thought for even a second she could, she would have ignored Aerith and gone after the stone she wasn't even sure was there.

Except part of being an older sister and substitute parent was knowing what you could – and couldn't – do. And she couldn't do this. She knew it deep down in her bones. She could feel it in her blood. What was in front of her was too much and it would strip her mind from her before she even got in it up to her elbows. She knew it the way animals knew fire was dangerous. She didn't have to be told. She just knew.

Aerith squeezed her arms and then turned. She waited though until she felt Tifa's hands close like death itself over the fabric at the back of her jacket. Then, she drew in a deep breath and her brows pulled down in determination over her eyes. With a steady nod, Aerith stepped forward without hesitation into the raging Lifestream.


	95. Chapter 95: Lost

Chapter 95: Lost

Tifa wasn't sure what she expected. Something terrible, that was for sure. Maybe she'd expected the Lifestream to start screaming or Aerith to be wrenched suddenly from her hands. Belatedly, she realized that the liquid was flowing upward and she worried about Aerith getting it up her nose. When nothing immediately drastic happened, Tifa realized she was holding her breath and she released it in a quick sound. In front of her, Aerith was slowly moving forward and the way her body shook, to Tifa at least, it felt as if her friend was pushing against wind or some other force like that. Her knuckles hurt she was holding the back of Aerith's familiar pink jacket so hard but she didn't dare let go. Didn't dare, for even a minute, loosen her grip. Somehow it was always that one horrible moment when you relaxed where things went horribly wrong and Tifa was determined not to give that moment a chance. She was so intent on hanging on to Aerith that instead of letting go she almost jumped forward and joined her friend in the Lifestream when a section of the floor exploded upward.

If Tifa had been a screamer – she would have screamed.

Lacking that release of tension however, she inhaled so quickly that she choked on spit instead and so her eyes were watering and she was coughing as she realized that the floor had burst open because a body had been slammed upward through it and that several other bodies were following it out. For a split second, her mind refused to see anything wrong because these weren't monsters. They were people. All of the bodies in the room belonged to people and it was only when she heard the gun shots and saw the screaming flashes of metal that she realized they were not only armed but in the process of a life and death battle with each other.

And Cloud was one of them.

She stopped herself from gasping his name at the last second. Not wanting to distract him from the strange silver haired people he was fighting. Silver haired and yet neither of the two had the arrogance and grace that she remembered from the Nibelheim reactor. No. _He_ came flying up out of the open hole seconds later and her heart froze in her chest as the scar over it seemed to writhe. For a second, her fingers frozen, she almost lost Aerith.

The slide of fabric against her fingers jolted her back to the immediate and she tightened her hands on her friend again. Aerith was almost entirely inside the rushing Lifestream now and Tifa was torn between dragging her backward in the face of this new danger or just joining her in panic. Instead she held herself steady, wondering how she could defend her friend against Sephiroth and yet keep a grip on her too.

Because it was Sephiroth. With his fall of long pale hair and the absolute grace he moved with there was no doubt. He spun from the hole and raised his impossibly long sword just as a dark haired man leaped up through the opening and brought his huge sword up defensively. Again, she almost said the man's name but stopped herself just in time.

Zack?

How had Zack gotten here? And if Zack was here where was - ?

Even as she thought it, the smaller girl's conformer screamed out of the hole as well, almost nicking one of the silver haired strangers and throwing off his attack on her brother's unguarded left. Yuffie scrambled up after it. Everything was happening so fast that Tifa couldn't keep track of everyone and in her hands, Aerith was starting to shudder. Still, Tifa hesitated.

They were here for the stone. Despite the fight going on around her, she was still here for her friend and her friend was here for the stone. If she pulled Aerith back and her friend didn't have the stone, then what they needed to end this would still be in the Lifestream. Someone would still have to go back in after it and there was a good chance that one of the silver haired people might make a grab for it too. Pulling it out was also dangerous but Tifa had always been the kind that preferred trusting herself and her friends over some ancient defense. She had a split second to make a decision and she decided to keep holding her friend and pray that Aerith got the stone quickly. Worried, her eyes shifted to watch her friends and the silver haired enemy. For the moment everyone was too busy with each other to bother her but she knew it was only a matter of time before they were noticed and that's when the 'crazy kung-fu stunts' would have to start on her part.

She could almost picture it in her head. 'This one involves a ladder, an expensive vase, and a wind chime…'

"Aerith…" she grit it out between her teeth even though she couldn't imagine her friend actually being able to hear the 'hurry up' tone in her voice, much less her voice at all. Aerith jerked in her fingers suddenly though and then, slowly, too slowly, started to pull back. Tifa took that as a hint, knotted both of her hands in Aerith's jacket even more firmly and leaned back, throwing all her weight into getting her friend out quickly over gracefully.

It was like pulling your boots out of mud.

Gritting her teeth and narrowing her eyes in focus, Tifa pulled. All around her she was aware of the sounds of battle. She was very distinctly aware of Cloud when he moved to stand between her and everything else, giving up his mobility to keep her safe. Muscles straining, Tifa continued her own fight to haul her friend out of the Lifestream that seemed so intent on keeping her. For a minute, even all her efforts seemed to be pointless, as Aerith's body froze and refused to dislodge from the flowing green anymore. Tifa made a noise and threw the last of her reserves into it, letting the panic and adrenaline fuel her. With a disturbingly slurping noise, Aerith's body came free and both of them tumbled backward. Tifa wrapped her arms automatically around her friend to try to cushion her and her friend's body fell bonelessly against her. It made Tifa's heart stop and then Cloud's body was suddenly crouched low over hers. He was fighting duel handed, two swords moving in tandem and she didn't know that she'd ever known him to actually have to take his sword apart before. In fact, she only knew the giant sword came apart because she'd watched him polish the pieces separately often enough on lazy evening in Costa del Sol.

That seemed a very long way away from here.

"Do we have whatever we're here for?" Somehow Cloud's voice managed to carry above the sounds of battle without rising, though Tifa could hear the strain in it. Aerith still wasn't moving and Tifa hunched over her awkwardly, trying to be as small a target as possible, trying to keep from distracting Cloud, trying – oh Gaia – trying to bite down her panic at her friend's condition. Clutched in Aerith's hand with a death grip Tifa hoped wasn't literal, was a rough looking, sharp edged dull green stone. It looked like jade or jasper, almost colorless. Tifa reached down to gently pry Aerith's fingers off of it while she searched her friend's face for signs of life. The skin was almost translucently pale over Aerith's delicate bone structure and she didn't look as if she was breathing. Tifa got the stone free and used her other hand to shake her friend, calling her name.

Aerith couldn't die. Not like this. Not in the middle of everything. Not before she'd had a chance to see her mother again and talk to her father on the PHS and… just not yet. Aerith couldn't die. She just couldn't.

In the chaos, there was suddenly a bottle in front of her and she caught it just before it dropped onto her friend.

"Use it!" Cloud's voice, still not rising, was strained and sharp and she heard actual physical pain at the edges of it. Without hesitation, she broke the top off the bottle and poured the potion down her friend's throat. Nothing brought back the dead. But if Aerith was only at the very end of dying…

"What did she get?" Cloud was still, somehow, concentrating on both the fight and what was going on behind him.

"Stone." Tifa answered on automatic, willing her friend's chest to start rising. When Cloud's black-gloved hand opened in front of her, she gave him the stone without a thought. Tentative, she shook her motionless friend again and whispered her name. Cloud stayed a wall of protection between her and danger. She would have traded that for a fallen pillar if it meant he would be safer but there were no pillars close by at the moment and when she moved, she'd be dragging her friend with her.

Across the room, Yuffie gave a sudden shout and it snapped Tifa's head up in time to see Zack dropping the man he was fighting. Except… it wasn't Sephiroth. In the confusion, she must have missed when the man moved on to a different attack and, with a thread of fear that didn't need thought to activate, she snapped her head around looking for him. Not even being a distraction now, could keep her from saying:

"Cloud?"

He grunted in response and the two silver haired strangers that had been attacking him suddenly backed off. They were starting to glow with surging materia energy though and Tifa made a noise of protest, the only time she had to do anything and hunched herself protectively over Aerith's limp form. In almost the same instant she felt the weight of Cloud's body and his arms came down to wrap around her and tuck both her and Aerith into the shelter of his form. It was utterly ridiculous but for the first time since before they'd left the _Highwind_, Tifa felt safe. She closed her eyes in relief. There was a roaring, screaming, blinding cacophony of light and the pressure of it even hurt her ears. Tifa managed to get one hand free of Aerith to wrap it around Cloud's forearm. The ground under her lurched and, for a very long minute, it seemed as if the world was going to a literal hell. Against her ear, voice still soft, incongruously, she thought she heard Cloud murmur:

"You've been everything to me. Always."

"Cloud?" it came out weakly and the sound of the explosions and grinding rock tore it away. His arms stayed firmly around her and his body sheltered hers completely.

The ground stopped shifting alarmingly under her – and only belatedly did it occur to her, in a building that changed it's mind all the time about what it looked like, to worry about what happened when parts of itself blew up. Her ears were still ringing. Aerith lay unmoving in her arms and Tifa willed her to be unconscious and not just a dead body. She blinked and the air was full of dust and a vaguely threatening green haze. The fountain in the middle of the room was gone. Looking, she saw that so was half the floor.

Including Zack and Yuffie.

Cloud let go of her and was on his feet again in an instant but he moved stiffly. His moves were usually so fluid that seeing him jerking told Tifa just how much pain he must be in. And then, with a swallowed grunt, he fell to his knees. Tifa heard the crack of impact. His arms folded in across his chest and he bent forward, golden hair almost touching the broken ground.

Hating to, she still let go of Aerith and shifted on her heels to rest at his side, arm over his tense, twitching back. Now would be a good time for Zack to pull off a heroic entrance, Yuffie in tow. She kept her eyes locked on the two silver haired strangers across the torn floor. They looked exhausted and she spared a moment, to concentrate on Cloud.

"Cloud?"

He was shaking his head and she could feel the shivers running through him. This was worse than it had been earlier on the _Highwind_. Except he wasn't clutching his arm. His fingers, gloves a dark contrast, threaded through his pale hair as he looked as if he was trying to keep his skull together. Deep in his throat, almost impossible to hear, she recognized the sounds of his stifled screams.

"Cloud!" She laid her hands over his, huddling closer to him, not knowing what to do and damning the practical part of her that said knocking him unconscious was probably the best option. His arm shot out so suddenly she didn't even see it coming. One minute she was next to him and the next she was halfway across the room and rolling to a stop. What shocked her most, even more than the fact he'd actually _pushed_ her, was that – it hadn't hurt. He'd used her off balance position to unbalance and start her rolling. It was in the direction opposite the broken floor and the silver haired duo. She stopped her roll and scrambled to her hands and knees, looking back at him in shock. His face, pale with the skin tight over the angular bones of it, turned toward her and even in the shadow cast by his body she could see his eyes.

Except they weren't his eyes…

She mouthed the protest but nothing came out. He made another noise and his body bucked but the eyes stayed the same. Cold snake eyes the color of dying jade. She didn't have to see it clearly to realize the pupils were slits. She'd seen those eyes before. The scar on her chest burned.

Cloud got one foot under himself and, still hunched, managed to pull himself to a kneeling position. His lips were drawn back from his teeth and she saw, in frozen horror, as his pale hair shaded paler still, as if someone was chasing clouds over an open field, tainting gold with dull silver. His eyes didn't blink as they looked at her.

But they did laugh. And there was nothing of Cloud in that laughter.

The other two silver haired strangers were by his side by then and his teeth flashed as he tried to shrug them off. But it was arrogance in his face, not enmity. The more slender of the two silver haired attackers gave a hazy glow and suddenly, all three of them, _tipped_ to the side the way Aerith stepped sideways through walls.

And just like that all three of them were gone.


	96. Chapter 96: Down and Out

_So, we're back again, my gentle readers and best beloveds. If I'm going to torture you, the least I can do is be consistent with my updates. And, good news or bad, it looks like our story will end on chapter 112. Yep, I've been good and written ahead to the end now. I promised I'd finish this and you had faith in me that I would… so I did. Though I'll probably add and mess with the story straight up until I post the last chapter ;) Meanwhile, back at camp… __**lexi-yeesh **__– cripes! I love your reviews! I can all but hear your voice in them and it's like sitting at a movie next to someone that doesn't mind you grabbing their shoulder or hand during scary parts. Do you yell advice at the characters on the screen the way I do? 'Cause they never listen to me. I'm so, so glad you're on this ride and thank you for the comments on Aerith, Tifa, Cloud – the whole gang. Now I just have to try to explain all the evil I did in the next couple of chapters, right? __**Fairheartstrife**__ – guh?! I must have done something good. Or very, very bad. But I'm okay with 'guh'. Here – take three and call me in the morning ;) __**OCV**__ – I seriously laughed my head off at the beginning of your chapter 95 review. The 'this isn't so bad… wait? WHAT!! What?what? Noooooooo'. Well, I paraphrased but yeah, that made my day and possibly my week. I couldn't have asked or begged or paid for a better response. It was absolutely priceless. My author feelings have now been fulfilled. That was just grand. And mom calling says you can borrow some of her lactose pills so stock up on the chocolate cause I'm not done yet! __**Cherrypudding**__ – wow. Just… wow. When you catch up with all that back reading, I'm giving you a wow. Cause that's a LOT of back reading to do. I certainly hope I live up to your expectations. I do my best to not disappoint people that read my stuff. __**Mc**__ – whee! I know I do good when I get a review like that from you. Yeah, nobody in the story knows what's going on either. And, to tell you the truth, while I was writing, I didn't know exactly what was going on either ;) dang characters never tell me everything. I finished chapter 95 and then sat there going, 'well, crap. Now I'm going to have to write more just so I can find out if Aerith is dead or not'. Let me bury you in Cloud plushies for warmth and security and give you my next three chapters. __**Ladywisdom**__ – so many killable characters… so little time left… I will tell you though, Aerith wrote what happened/happens to her herself and it was not at all what I had planned. I think it works though. And yeah, poor Zack, he doesn't even know if he's Zack. How could I kill the guy without giving him an answer first? __**Akuma**__ – you are SO in charge of the music from now on! And I'm pleased beyond that the story is living up to expectations. More ahead! __**sian**__ – I'm trying! I'm trying! :D I just have to finish polishing up the story I've written to give to my agent ;) And thank you for the compliment. Despite the fact it's written in a fantasy world I am trying to keep it lifelike. If I'm doing a decent job of that, I'm happy. __**Iskra**__ – seriously, I would miss your reviews terrible if you ever go away. What a stupid grin you've put on my face. Take Cloud plushies! Take many Cloud plushies. I will even give a variety (KH1 and 2 – with and without wing), CC Cloudy – comes with extra big blue eyes, AC and ACC Cloud – with and without dirt), FFVII Cloud with built in sarcasm, DoC Cloud complete with laugh upgrade. Yes, take many Clouds for your reviews and my hugs of thanks too. __**Demonegg**__ – dang! Loophole! I like that 'mixed up – mysterious – heart rending - and deep'. My head gets so big I can barely fit through the door with words like that. Poor Cloud though – them cookies is going to be a while in coming. __**Vanillia raindrops**__ – you're right. Tifa is definitely in need of a group hug at the moment. And then possibly some snuggle time. And then on to some private snuggle time with Cloud. However, the next three chapters will have to do temporarily. I'll see what I can do about that group hug though. __**Vx-luna-xv**__ - … somehow I don't trust you… lol But I'll come back, at least long enough to offer the next three chapters so the wild lions won't tear me apart. Hopeful it will answer your question too. Kind of… __**ladywisdom**__ – wow. That's another… wow. Reread the whole thing? I'm – wow, I'm flattered beyond expression. Thanks. I must have done something right if it's getting second reads. Now you've made me feel all warm and fuzzy. And, I'm glad. I really am. I try to fill my chapters with details both that matter at the time but that hopefully make more sense as more of the story reveals itself. Little gems I try to hide in between the expected sentences. It makes me grin that you've found them and enjoyed them. __**Tae**__ – oh, Tae. What a wonderful review. I had to let Cloud protect Tifa (and Aerith). I missed it in AC and was so glad they at least gave him a little bit of an opportunity for it in ACC. I too would like to know what was going on inside of Cloud. Only Tifa talks to me when I write with occasional comments from the peanut gallery and sometimes I'd love to just rewrite the whole thing from Cloud's POV just to see what was going on inside him. Some answers to questions in the upcoming, provided by… of all people, Zack. Though not all the answers. Not yet. ;) Soon though. I promise lots of answers and soon._

Chapter 96: Down and Out

She screamed. She never screamed and when she heard the raw horrible sound that came out of her, Tifa knew why. It was lost and hopeless. She hadn't known she could make that sound…

Her body lost its balance when she tried to get to her feet the first time and so, feeling like a drunk, she carefully picked her way back to her feet and across the ruined room to where Aerith's body and Cloud's separated sword lay. Both used and discarded. She went to her knees next to her friend and reached out to try to feel a heart beat before she realized that her hands felt too numb to feel anything that delicate. Her vision was blurring and liquid was dropping off of her chin to land on her folded legs. Vaguely, she realized she was crying – and didn't care.

"Aerith, come on, Sweetie," she half lifted her friend, hands shaking as she brushed the wet hair back from her pale face. "You've got to wake up now. You know you have to."

She felt fractured and, at the moment, dealing with Aerith was the only thing she could bear.

"Aeris… please…" her voice started to break and she shook her head fiercely. She wouldn't acknowledge this… she wouldn't!

"Tifa!" The yell was panicked and she turned her head in instinctive response, not able to see much through the blur across her eyes. She did recognize Zack when he skid to a stop next to her though and went half crouched, still on alert for attacks.

"They're gone," she told him and it felt as if her voice was very far away. "They took Aerith's rock and they're gone."

Zack cursed and then leaned down to check Aerith's pulse.

"Where's Cloud?"

Tifa lifted her face and looked blankly at him. Yuffie came running over, dust covered and bloodied, to join them. For a minute, there were not only no words in Tifa's head; there were no thoughts.

"He's – gone too," she finally managed, words tumbling out like rocks, feeling odd and heavy against her lips and tongue.

He gave her a look but didn't ask. Yuffie did however.

"Wadda you mean 'gone'? Like 'gone' 'gone' or like 'gone' like we need to find him 'gone'?"

Tifa swallowed and wiped at her eyes with the back of her wrist. Damn it, all the tears were making it too hard to see!

"Gone 'we need to go back to the _Highwind_ with Aerith' gone," she managed, feeling suddenly old. Eyes desperate she looked up at Zack. Whatever he saw he dropped his sword and went down on his knees next to her to pull her into his arms. She felt him rubbing her back in tiny little circles the way she did for her siblings when they were sick with a fever. It felt nice and she shut her eyes and locked her jaw so she wouldn't start crying, really crying.

"Hey," Zack's voice was steady. "She's okay. Aerith has a pulse. And I think – " he paused and Tifa could tell he was deciding on how much to say. "I think I know what's going on. Kinda." He pulled away to meet her eyes. "I think. But we need to get Aerith back to the _Highwind_ first, okay?"

"Cloud's not here, is he?" she couldn't stop herself from asking. Couldn't stop herself from worrying that they would accidentally leave him behind in this building that wasn't a building. Couldn't help hoping – oh Gaia, please… that she was wrong about him being gone. Zack's eyes were steady but he shook his head.

"He's not here, Teef."

There was another sound in her throat but she choked on it and refused to let it out. Zack scooped Aerith up in his arms and, if she was breathing, Tifa couldn't see any signs of it. While she knew Zack would blithely lie to her if he thought it was for her own good, she couldn't imagine him lying about that. Feeling worse than she had when she'd woken up for the first time, really woken up for the first time, in Cosmo Canyon, Tifa struggled to get to her feet. She was surprised for some reason when she felt Yuffie's hands on her arms helping her up. Then the smaller woman leaned down and scooped up the pieces of Cloud's sword.

"He'd never leave the Fusion Swords…" Tifa heard her whisper quietly to herself. "Not all of them like this…"

It did occur to Tifa to wonder how they were going to get back out, considering Aerith wasn't there to walk through walls for them but Zack went back to the hole in the floor and, carefully guarding Aerith, lowering himself back down. Tifa and Yuffie followed.

The room they found themselves in looked like a cave more than a room and as Tifa followed Zack further in she saw it became more and more cave-like as they went. In fact, the 'building' part faded more and more until it felt as if they were simply walking through an underground system of naturally formed tunnels and caverns. Tifa looked around as they went, noting that, the deeper in they went, the more the walls looked like the trees outside in the forest, white and crystalline and glowing. Her boots made splashes in small puddles of water that had collected and the wet, sharp sound seemed small and echoed hollowly.

"How did you find us?" Tifa finally thought to ask as she picked her way over the uneven floor behind Zack, glad to have something to need to concentrate on. Yuffie came just behind her, determinedly carrying Cloud's now reassembled sword over her shoulder even though it was taller than she was. Tifa had thought about offering but the other girl seemed set and Tifa wasn't sure she could handle holding Cloud's sword without needing to sit down and cry.

"Why we followed the invisible thread from great-great-grandmother's ring and it led us into the mountain past the goblins," Zack piped from the front of the line even though his usually cheerful voice wasn't quite managing to seem careless. She shook her head at the familiar fairy tale.

"We followed the goblins," Yuffie clarified. "Or the silver haired freaks at least. We caught them cutting across the lake on the same stones you must have taken across. Then we all got swallowed up but we found Cloud and then the freaks found us and then we got into a fight and then we found you and then everything blew up."

Tifa paused to slide a glance at the girl back over her shoulder and then kept moving.

"Okay…" she managed after a minute. "I think I got some of that."

Yuffie snorted.

"What about Sephiroth?" Tifa asked again after another minute of walking through the twilight caves. Ahead of her Zack cleared his throat, something he had a habit of doing when he was going to say something uncomfortable. Tifa waited and was surprised when Yuffie didn't ping in.

"I don't there is a Sephiroth," Zack began slowly and Tifa touched her chest with her fingertips and made a noise. Zack shook his head in front of her, a slow brush of his black mane against his shoulders.

"I know, Teef. I saw him at the reactor too. He almost killed me, for Gaia's sake. And I saw him here. But I don't – don't you think it's weird how he just always shows up wherever it's best for him to be?"

Tifa thought about it and had to admit she really hadn't thought that. Zack kept going thankfully.

"I mean, how does he always know where to pop up AND manage to be there?"

"'Cause he's pure evil and that's a Standard Bad Guy Trick?" Yuffie offered and Tifa found herself agreeing silently. Zack made a noise in front of them that might have been a chuckle but sounded suspiciously like Cloud's more subdued amusement.

"Look at it this way – I was fighting Sephiroth just now back in the weird green room, right? And he was kicking my butt. I mean seriously. Not as bad as last time but I was still barely holding my own." Zack had never been ashamed to admit when he wasn't up to something and he didn't seem to hesitate to do so now. "But like, halfway through the fight all of the sudden he jerks back and goes weird with this black fog around him and the next thing I know I'm fighting some silver haired kid that looks like he shouldn't even be drinking legally. And let me tell you, the fighting skills went way downhill too as soon as he changed. You saw it, Yuffie. Isn't that what happened?"

"Yeah," Yuffie's voice sounded surprised. "I was behind him but he wasn't all 'I'm an ad campaign for silky hair conditioner' anymore all of the sudden. I thought he looked kinda cute in fact but then those two bozos blew us up with their materia and I lost sight of him."

"Yeah…" Zack sounded as if he was pausing and debating which parts of Yuffie's commentary to respond to. Finally, he went with: "So I don't think I was fighting the real Sephiroth. Or, maybe I was fighting him but then he… went away? Like possession or something weird like that. It made me wonder if maybe he just… manifests? through those silver haired guys and whichever one is where he wants to be is the one he uses." He exhaled. "It sounds crazy but – "

"He had his eyes," Tifa interrupted, feeling as if she were verbally lancing a boil. "Cloud had Sephiroth's eyes. At the end. Here. All jade and snaky."

It was silent for a long moment and it was a huge silence that was hollow and unwelcome.

"Tifa," Zack's voice was very soft. As if he expected her to burst into tears again but suddenly she didn't feel like doing that at all. Suddenly – she was furious. "What exactly happened?"

So Tifa told them. She told them everything. About the disease on Cloud's arm and back and what Aerith had said about it. She told them about the jade eyes he'd had in the forest. She told them about what she and Aerith had found in the Lifestream fountain in the room and where the rock was now. And she told them about what Cloud had said and done when he'd been with her just before the silver haired strangers had disappeared with him. She told them because it was just them and somehow it was all right to tell the two people that loved Cloud as much as she did what had happened to him.

She didn't know that she'd be able to do the same onboard the _Highwind_ for everyone else.

At the end of her explanation, it was quiet again but it was a thoughtful, rumbling quiet. Finally, slowly, Zack said:

"I read something. In Hojo's notebooks. It didn't make a lot of sense. It still doesn't. But – it was something about creating conduits. Living conduits. I thought he meant for the Lifestream, that he was writing about trying to create living creatures. But… what if he was trying to make conduits for Sephiroth?"

"But what's that got to do with Cloud?" Yuffie asked and Tifa turned her head to look at the younger girl struggling along as she carried her older brother's sword.

"Cloud might be one of Hojo's creations," she told the other girl gently. To her surprise, Yuffie snorted.

"Yeah, right. And I'm the Dancing Queen of Goblin Island. Pull the other one, it's got bells."

Despite herself, Tifa had to fight a smile.

"I'm serious, Yuffie." Since they were giving away all of Cloud's secrets, what was one more? Tifa had already seen the way Yuffie looked at Cloud. He could grow a third eye and she wouldn't care. Tease? Sure. Care? Not in the least. "Cloud was exposed to concentrated mako for years. By Hojo. He's not sure which memories are really his and which belong to other dead souls. He's not sure if he's the boy that saved you or if he's just… a creation that remembers that boy's memories."

Yuffie's brows came down over her dark eyes and she frowned. Zack made a sound and Tifa looked ahead to see they'd reached a natural opening of sorts in the wall and outside was the slate gray fog that she remembered.

"Knew the damn thing couldn't go on forever," Zack stated triumphantly and made Tifa wonder if he'd actually been guessing when he'd been leading them so steadily and confidently ahead. She had to stifle the urge to ask him because if he answered wrong she'd be forced to kill him. Behind her, Yuffie was starting to sputter:

"Why that - ? Is that why he - ? I hope his mother grows chin whiskers! All this time - ?"

"I don't think he wanted to risk losing you," she turned her head to tell the other girl. "And… I think he really did want to be your brother."

"That's not it at all!" Yuffie burst out. "I can't believe he went all this time and didn't just _ask_ me! I was there, wasn't I? Of course he's Cloud, my Cloud, the soldier that defended me! I saw! He's got that huge ass scar on his chest and back 'cause _that's where Sephiroth stabbed him when he got between me and the silver haired freak when I was a kid_! I've seen him without his shirt on – he's got the scar! Of course he's the same guy! Duh… Like they make clones or monsters or whatever the hell with scars. Jerk. He's such a loser. I'm going to kill him when he comes back."


	97. Chapter 97: Finding a Way

Chapter 97: Finding a Way

Tifa blinked at Yuffie's tirade and even Zack paused in the entrance of the cave to turn with Aerith in his arms and look at her.

"You mean he's really – "

"Cloud Strife, one time soldier of Shinra, hero of Wutai, savoir of the White Rose of Wutai, adopted son of Godo of Wutai and a royal prince of the House of Wutai? Hells yeah!" Yuffie was steaming now and Tifa debated if she should try to take the sword with all its sharp pointy edges away from her. "Gawd! I can't believe he's been thinking he wasn't all these years! The idiot could have just _said_ something! It's not like I'd be hanging all off of a total stranger, would I?"

"Then he's – " Tifa searched for the right word. "Not created?"

"Well, I'm sure his mother and father would probably say something about that," Yuffie snorted. "But he's not a test tube baby or anything like Zack is."

Zack shook his head but he looked embarrassed and amused, not insulted.

"She's got worse nicknames for it too, don't encourage her."

Yuffie was still ranting.

"That man is such a – such a goober-snot! Why wouldn't he just say something? I mean, I knew he was screwy when he came back but I didn't know he was _that _screwy. Just wait until he gets back." She looked as if she might make punching motions if her hands weren't both full in trying to keep the sword balanced over her slender shoulder.

"I've seen his scar," Tifa commented softly and Yuffie pulled out of her rant to make a face.

"Ew! He's my brother. I don't need the details about what you guys do."

Tifa felt her cheeks heat and had the absolutely bizarre urge to laugh.

"Not like that!" she protested. "When we first found him he was sick with a fever and I – "

"La la la la!" Yuffie sang. "Not listening to freaky details."

Tifa looked helpless at Zack and he just shrugged his shoulders, still holding Aerith.

"I've seen it too," he agreed.

"EW! Ew, ew, ew!"

"Yuffie," he tried to interrupt. "We lived in Costa del Sol. It wasn't like we went swimming in shirts."

"It's here and here," Tifa pointed to the familiar spots on herself and blinked. She'd seen the scars before but it had never occurred to him that they marked points where something had actually gone entirely through the man. Yuffie broke off her slash-fic moment and nodded.

"That's right! 'Cause Sephiroth was all 'I'm fruitier than a mixed berry pie and I'm going to kill you for being small' and Cloud zipped in like '…' and so Sephiroth stabbed him instead of me and was like 'look a me being bad ass and lifting you bodily with my sword through you like a kebab over a barbeque' and Cloud was all 'ugghghg' and I was all 'holy shit!' and Sephiroth was like all 'you're next, my pretty, and your little dog too' to me and Cloud was like all 'hugghghghgh' and pulling himself forward on the sword until he got his feet on the ground and Sephiroth was all 'holy shit!' and then Cloud was like 'guh' and using the sword that was still in him to toss Sephiroth into one of the cracks in the floor where the Lifestream was starting to bubble out while Sephiroth was all like 'curses, foiled again. And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!' and 'blop' into the green goo and Cloud was all 'a-gurk' and fell over and that's when I ran screaming up the stairs to go find my dad."

Again there was a very long pause as both Zack and Tifa stared at her and mentally translated what they'd just heard into their own language. Yuffie waited patiently. Finally, Tifa ventured:

"And then?"

"And then I found my dad and waited until they pulled the wall that had fallen on him off and dragged him back to the underground lab but there were Shinra helicopters and Turks and SOLDIER all over the place and since we were only kinda still at war with them or maybe not and nobody was sure, Dad decided we'd wait somewhere else until it got figured out. So after it all got worked out, Dad made adopting Cloud part of the deal, 'cept Shinra couldn't seem to find him, 'cause first they said he was dead until my dad said no adoption, no go, and then they just said he was in the hospital but they kept switching around the hospital and finally we kinda adopted him on paper but I knew he was still alive 'cause that's what 'a-gurk' means and when he showed up later on when the monsters started coming, I knew it was him and when the girls giggled about how cute he looked at the bath house 'cause they'd peeked they mentioned the scar and so I made sure I tackled him one day when he was just waking up in the morning and sure enough, he had his scar right where it was supposed to be even if he was touchy about me stealing his shirt off of him." Yuffie paused and then shrugged and almost lost her balance with the sword over her shoulder. "But I knew it was him anyway. It's not like five years is going to change the way someone looks enough to be somebody else anyway. I mean, I might have been a little kid but I'm not _stupid_."

She sounded so like Marlene for just a moment at the end that Tifa finally gave in to the urge and hugged her.

"I look like me. Or the Zack I was made from," Zack pointed out reluctantly and Yuffie wiggled out of Tifa's arms with a grin and shrugged. Tifa caught the sword.

"Sure. But I bet you don't have his scars."

Zack's hand rose to his smooth jaw line briefly and his face relaxed. For a moment, Tifa was worried. It meant he wasn't the same as Cloud and suddenly he was all alone in his situation again. But instead Zack started to grin.

"So Spikey's real?! He's really real and all this time, he's been tearing himself up! That's awesome!" He looked over at Tifa. "Okay. We're definitely getting him back now. I just have to rub this in."

Tifa made a noise and put her hand over her mouth. For a minute, she wasn't sure if she was going to burst into laughter or tears. She settled for hugging everyone again and nodding.

"Yes," she agreed. "Definitely, yes. We get him back."

"Well, duh…" Yuffie offered her opinion.

Despite her worries, the stone 'bridge' was still there leading away from the island and back across the lake, even if they had to circle around the strange foggy shore until they found it. Tifa and Yuffie managed to balance Cloud's heavy sword between them across the slippery rocks and Zack carried Aerith. This time Tifa watched and even watching she couldn't tell at exactly what moment the air around her went from gray and foggy to twilight dark and clear. It was disconcerting. But this whole place seemed intent on being disconcerting. No trails of pale eel light followed them through the water this time as they made their way carefully across.

"I was afraid the stones would disappear," Tifa commented as she finally made it to shore. Not about to voice the thought until she was safely on dry land. Zack made a noise.

"Maybe they stayed for Aerith."

"Maybe," Tifa agreed but she couldn't help but remember that Aerith had seemed to expect them to disappear. And she also hadn't forgotten the way Cloud had been once they'd gotten near the lake.

There was so much she was stuck remembering in retrospect she wished she'd understood sooner.

To distract herself, she lifted her head and looked around.

"How do you think we get out of here?" she asked and Zack, Aerith still in his arms, turned briefly in a circle.

"You still have Aerith's key?" he asked and for a long moment, Tifa could only blink.

"Crap," she managed in a whisper. Zack gave a brief smile and a shake of his head.

"It's okay. I get the feeling getting out of here is going to be a lot easier than getting in. Unwelcome guests being shown the door and all that."

"So… this way?" Tifa gestured in the general direction she thought they'd come from originally and Zack shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Let's give it a go."

With a nod, Tifa took point. Zack had Aerith and Yuffie had Cloud's sword again. It left her the only one that could react instantly to monsters and so she took the lead. There were no monsters though and Tifa wasn't sure if she was relieved or upset. True to Zack's guess, they cleared the strangely sleeping woods in what seemed a much faster time than it had taken them to come in.

Somehow, to Tifa, coming out of the shadowing trees to find the hints of bright sunlight peppering down through the foliage seemed harder. It should be raining or nighttime. The world shouldn't be bright and breezy and cheerfully full of late afternoon sunlight.

It shouldn't remind her of all those days spent walking carelessly across tall grassy fields with a relaxed, silent blond man at her side. She paused because the hole that memory opened up inside her chest threatened to swallow her whole and she had to lean forward and wheeze, her breath wouldn't come. Zack came to stand near her but his arms full of Aerith he couldn't offer more comfort than his presence. She pulled air in through her nose and nodded her head silently to let him know she was all right even when they both knew it was a lie.

She could force herself to stay sane and calm and stable. Just as long as she stayed distracted and didn't think.

Or feel.

Or remember.

They'd get him back. They would. Somehow. And they'd fix the Jenova taint that was killing him too. Somehow. They would.

Because she wasn't sure what she would do if they didn't. And it scared her. Because this was different from losing her siblings. She wasn't sure why it was and it scared her too badly for her to want to try to figure it out.

"Geez," Yuffie was pretending she was unaware of Tifa's mini-breakdown and had propped Cloud's sword up against a nearby tree so she could rest her hands on her hips and stare upward. In her brother's absence, it seemed she'd taken over the job of being practical.

"Cid's never gonna be able to see us way down here. We need somebody to shimmy up a tree and find some kind of landmark to tell him where we are."

It made Tifa smile weakly.

"I'll do it," she volunteered even though it seemed that was the whole point. Even though her eyes were dry she found herself rubbing the back of her wrist over them anyway and she straightened with an inhale. "I've got a PHS." Cloud's… because Aerith's father still had hers and she'd never gotten another one…. "I'll climb up and see what I can see."

Zack nodded and settled Aerith down at the roots of a nearby tree, propping her up against it. Somehow it was easier seeing her upright like that than lying there. Tifa told herself that her friend's skin had a bit of color to it. Zack caught her look but he didn't say anything. Instead he just found the tallest looking tree and cupped his hands to offer Tifa a first step up. She walked over and put one hand on his shoulder and the other on a lower branch. On impulse, she dropped a kiss on the top of his head. He raised his eyes and gave her a smile but she saw her own pain and worry and fear and anger echoed in his eyes and his smile was more determined than cheerful. She understood and somehow that made things easier. With another nod for him – that _they_ were going to be all right – she let him boost her up and used the momentum to catch the nearby branches and pull herself upward.


	98. Chapter 98: Responsibilities

Chapter 98: Responsibilities

Tifa sat next to Aerith's bed and held her friend's hand. There wasn't anything else she could seem to do. They'd brought the Cetra back to the Highwind and Tifa wasn't sure what had happened after that. Zack had taken over for her and let her stay next to her friend's limp, motionless body while he'd taken on the job of explaining what had happened while they were in the forest. Tifa was glad she hadn't had to stay to hear that. Instead she stayed with Aerith in the 'girls' bunkroom and from time to time she leaned forward and rested her head against her friend's chest. Under her ear the pauses in between each heart beat were bottomlessly slow and measured. Aerith wasn't dead. But Tifa didn't know if she was alive either. Wherever she was, Aerith was a long way from here.

Sharing a cot on the other side of her, Tifa's brother and sister had finally fallen asleep, Marlene with silent tears on her cheeks and Denzel with a pale face and determined eyes. They both matched the way Tifa felt.

There was a muffled knock on the door and then a scraping at the handle before it pushed open. Red let himself into the room and it made Tifa smile weakly. For a creature without thumbs there was very little he couldn't manage.

"Hey," she held out her arm and he came over to lean against her and the side of her chair, watching Aerith as Tifa slid her arm around his shoulders and found comfort in the warmth of his familiar furry body. It had been the four of them once. Her and Zack and Red and…

"Strife is a strong mind. He will not abandon us." Red's voice was sure but, to Tifa, it sounded… just a little young at the moment too. She lowered her head to rest her cheek against the top of his head. What had Aerith told her? That she had to be the one to make everyone else believe it would be all right?

Easier asked than done…

"Yes," she agreed. As she'd agreed each other time one of their team had come to her to state that Cloud would be back. At first she'd thought they were doing it for her. It had taken her a while to realize… they needed the reassurance themselves. She rubbed a hand over Red's fur. "He's too strong. He'll come back."

A part of her believed that too. Had to believe that a man that had gone years recreating himself after being wrecked with memories that weren't his and having the ones that were either stolen or suspect… the one that had thought he was a monster and still acted like a man… a part of her believed in him. In that man and his strength to come back to her. To all of them.

That little part of her, always on the edge of being drowned entirely by the despair inside her, was the only thing that was letting her stay afloat. That – and the fact that her family, her friends, still needed her.

She was a Lockhart. They didn't get to fall apart until everyone else was okay.

_Then _however… oh, then she thought she'd go find a dark cave somewhere and curl up in a ball for a year or two.

Red joined her in her vigil and after a little while longer, there was another tap at the door and Elmyra came in. Competent she pushed a tall mug full of hot tomato soup into Tifa's hands, gave Red a pat on his head, and then leaned over to rest a hand on her daughter's forehead.

Elmyra, Red and Vincent had been onboard the Highwindwhen Cid had come to pick up Tifa's group. Apparently they'd been picked up as Leon had been returning from whatever it was he'd taken the rest of the group to do. Tifa hadn't been sure what to expect but Elmyra had taken one look at her limp and apparently lifeless daughter and immediately snapped into the kind of situational handling that would have made a military commander burst his seams with pride. Now she gently tucked the blanket up around her daughter's shoulders and without looking at her, instructed Tifa:

"Drink up, dear. You're going to need your strength if you're going to be with the group going after your young man."

Remembering the last time she'd been under the older woman's care, Tifa dutifully lifted the cup to her lips and drank. This time she didn't protest when Elmyra called Cloud her young man.

"What happened?" she asked softly. She knew the basics but not details. She'd been here with Aerith for most of what had been left of the day by the time the _Highwind_ had gotten to them and they'd all gotten back onboard. Elmyra moved a hand dismissively now.

"Oh, there's a great deal of talk about where they should go to find that monster creature. Aerith's father has been on the phone almost constantly with Leon and Zack talking about places it might have gone to ground and what the stone you explained might be used for. Mostly just men sitting around wanting to do something and trying to figure out what to do."

It made the edges of Tifa's lips lift slightly and she took another sip of her soup. Its warmth really did feel comforting.

"No," she inserted quietly. "I mean with you. And Red and Vincent. The rescue. What happened?"

"Oh!" Elmyra finally let herself sit down on the bed next to her daughter and her fingers gently stroked the soft bangs away from Aerith's forehead. "Oh, well, that." She gave Tifa a look and shook her head, folding her hands in her lap. "Well, Elena and I were in the kitchen washing the dinner dishes, you see. Elena is one of those nasty Turks but she's really just a good little girl. A little too eager to please but her parents raised her well. Anyway, we were in the kitchen washing up and Tseng came in from the other room. There's been a bit of a scuffle when the Shinra soldiers first arrived you see and they'd broken my favorite vase." Her eyes were serious as she looked over at Tifa. "With one of their hard little heads," she added factually and it took a second to register for Tifa. When it did, she almost spit her soup out. Elmyra gave a small, smug little smile and kept going. "Anyway, Tseng was busy being a polite guest and trying to find someone to replace my vase on the phone in the other room. He's really not a bad boy, just a bit too work driven sometimes. Well, he came in to fetch Elena all of the sudden. Apparently he'd just gotten a call on his phone from some agent they'd lost quite a few years ago. I don't know if he was entirely trusting, poor dear, but he thought that he and little Elena should check it out. They waited with me until some Shinra guards came to take over and then they went on their way."

"Now, I don't like most soldiers on general principle but these boys were very polite and so I was making them some tea and Rodney, that was the one with the freckles, well, he was telling me about his sweetheart back home and all of the sudden, my door just bursts open with this great 'Bam! Whoosh!' and this very nice cat here," she gestured toward Red, "and his friend with the hair came bursting in. Well, all heck broke loose and I hid under the table and when it was all done, the polite cat introduced himself and told me that Aerith had sent them. So of course, I bandaged up Rodney's head and Patrick's arm, packed up a little bag and off we all went."

Tifa watched the other woman over the brim of her cup and wondered if, even at the age she was now, she'd manage to react to things as… acceptingly as Elmyra seemed to. Red was remaining silent but she'd felt his sniffs as he'd been called a 'cat'. Not that he seemed to have the nerve to correct Elmyra either and Tifa didn't blame him.

"We walked for quite a bit and stayed at some very ethnic places and finally this wonderful ship dropped out of the sky and picked us up," Elmyra fussed with Aerith's pillow a bit and then settled again. "I must say, it's been quite an adventure for a woman my age."

It was quiet between them then for a little while and then Tifa wrapped both hands around the now empty mug in her lap and looked at the other woman.

"Elmyra…" she began and then paused, because she wasn't sure of how to say it. The older woman looked at her and her face softened. Tender, she reached out and brushed aside a strand of Tifa's hair.

"Yes, dear," her voice was just as gentle as the touch had been. "I will."

Surprised, Tifa startled and Elmyra reached out to pat her knee.

"They're darling little children, your brother and sister. You know I always loved having them over when Aerith would baby-sit. Of course I'll take care of them if anything happens. But it won't, dear. You'll see."

"Am I that obvious?" Tifa asked and the older woman just chuckled slightly and looked back at her own daughter with eyes that softened and saddened.

"It's a part of being a mother. You always worry about your children first. From what I understand things are coming to a bit of a head, aren't they? So of course you'd worry about your siblings. Don't. I'll take care of them while you're busy and you'll come back just fine."

It made something in Tifa's chest relax a little. She adored Barret and he was a good man. But he was also a rough man and his job took him away so much. She knew he'd watch the children if anything happened to her but she thought Elmyra… Elmyra had done a fine job with Aerith and the children already knew her. She looked down at Red.

"You too?" she asked him. "If anything happens to me, you'll watch over the children too?"

It seemed an odd mix. Feisty, little Elmyra and dignified, furry Red. Tifa thought it was a good mix though. Red looked at her with his single golden eye and very slowly gave one of his nods, chin dipping toward his chest.

"I would be honored."

Tifa ruined the dignity of the moment by hugging him and then turning to hug Elmyra. They all settled into silence after that because there was nothing left to say but it was comfortable. Until the door burst open and Zack was standing in it with wide eyes.

"Teef! Quick! The Hello-Kitty phone is going nuts!"


	99. Chapter 99: Time for the Cavalry

_hello, all. Well, some friends finally convinced me to attend a con myself so this past weekend was spent in Orlando, Florida, hanging out with friends, plotting evil and hunting down cosplayers for pictures. A good time was had by all, or at least the three of us (sorry, hunted down cosplayers). We did have one incident in which I was dressed as Tifa and while I was in the process of glomping a Squall, a passer-by yelled: "Bet Cloud never saw that coming!" After the laughter one of the friends with me commented that things sounded suspiciously like my story. I was torn between chortling and cackling evily. But it was okay. The Cloud/Naruto got his glomp time too. Anyway, to anyone that was there - wasn't it fun? and if I'd been thinking I would have posted something to say I was going to be there (even though I did get dragged into some interesting fanfic discussions with various fangirls while there anyway). Oh! And there was the most adorable Zack - who had to be barely to my shoulder he was so young. I'm definitely going to have to go to more cons. And now that I've rambled - on to my best beloveds. Well, here we are, my loves, coming down the home stretch. I hope I manage to hit all the right notes and avoid any bad ones. **OCV **- this week has been insane but I have not forgotten your story. I shall review! Just as soon as I get some sleep ;) In the meantime, my, my, you're a blood thirsty one - lol. But fear not, we're not done with Aerith yet! I like that - Red as a fuzzy pillow. He'd probably prefer that to being called a cat. Ding! point one for both Scooby and Wiz of O. Yuffieese? LOL! That's great! I'm SO using that term from now on! We will defiantly have to get you both more Cloud plushie stuffing and chocolate - stat! **cherrypudding** - wow yourself. The whole thing in only five days?! Holy wow, batman! that's amazing. I'm so glad you're enjoying it and will probably squeal like a little girl over the impending giagantor review. It's reassuring to know that it reads well all together since I've been posting it in bits and pieces and wondered how it held up as a whole. Welcome to the party!** ladywisdom** - You recognized the story!!!! Tackle hug! I loved _The Princess and the Goblins_ as a kid. And _Curdie and the Princess_ too. I wondered if anyone else would pick up on it if I mentioned it. George MacDonald rocks! :D And yeah, I thought it was somehow fitting that after all the angsting, Yuffie would have had the answer all along 'like... duh!'. also - thank you about everyone sounding their age. I don't intentionally think about it but I do try to keep the right mind set so they talk the way they 'should'. That you noticed - and think I did it right - thank you, thank you. ding two for Wiz of O! **lexi-yeesh** - glad it all made sense. and - yeah - I find Yuffie too much fun to write. It's a pity I don't get to more often. the Turks got a call from a missing agent (or operative, I can't remember what I put and can't check at the moment). I actually don't go back and mention it again but I will say, the 'agent' had a penchant for cape flares and likes his gold armor. ;) **osiris' consort** - yeah, every time I let Yuffie open her mouth in my story I'm never sure what's going to come out. She's a trip to write for. **vanilla** - oh, hang on to your seat ;) ding two for Scooby. And - you want a battle? **fairheartstrife** - You want Cloud? well... okay. But remember you two asked for it ;) **skykhanhunter** - everyone seems to have really enjoyed Elmyra and Yuffie. I'm glad I could insert a smile into the situations and I'm also glad that characters I haven't had much time to pay attention to are still getting enjoyed. Makes me happy to know 'cause I really love both of them as well. **mystic 777** - _YES!_ someone finally mentioned Cloud's '...' I _LOVE_ writing those in, it so drags me right back into the game. I have no idea how it would sound either but I just can't resist putting it in. You're awesome and some for commenting on it! Right on about Vincent and wow, good call on Cait. I always feel bad when I read a story that doesn't get finished too. I promised my readers that I wouldn't start something that I didn't finish and I mean to keep that promise. Now let's just make sure ffnet keeps holding up and we'll finish this ride in style. mc - thank you so much. I worry sometimes about how well or badly I may be balancing Tifa. Anytime you write a female lead there's always the threat of a Mary Sue popping up and not only would I be impossibly embarrassed but even more, I would be mortified if I did that to my readers. If Tifa is relateable, than I'm reassured. And if Yuffie isn't one dimensional or comic relief with no other purpose than I'm doing my secondary characters justice too. Thank you because even though I try, it's always heartening to hear. And - here's at least part of the answer when it comes to 'what happens next?' **:'D** - I so wish I could have sat nearby while you read it and listened to the vocalizations - lol. I'm sure they would have fed my author's soul for weeks! and - yes, I couldn't imagine Aerith not being torn and yet drawn by Zack. I don't like easy characters. They're not as much fun to write and worse, I feel as if I'm doing them a disservice by writing them flat. Aerith may be good at acting like she's fine but she's still human and a woman. and, no fear, I promise, promise, promise while I will not end the story 'and they all lived happily ever after' (because life doesn't really end like that, it keeps going on) there will be closure and answers and snuggles and a glimpse of what the future will look like (no. just no. I will not be writing a sequel to this story. that's for the readers to dream on for themselves.) But the story will have an end and it will be satisfying and 'just right'. I wouldn't bring everyone this far to cut and run. Best beloveds and gentle readers alike have put too much of their trust in me for me to ever, ever do that. Promise. **vx-luna-xv** - I admit, I'll miss writing this story when it ends. It's been so much fun and everyone's been so great to - what are we doing? Is this 'hanging out'? Or 'goofing around together'? I don't intend to stop writing but the ending of a long story like this is always something special to me. not so many years ago I literally couldn't finish a single story no matter how hard I tried. This will now be my third that's over five hundred pages long ;) Not too bad, eh? and - ding three for Scooby! You want Cloud - well, okay... **Iskra** - oh, my best beloved, wonderful, wonderful reviewer. Your comments always make me grin and glow at the same time. A Tifa plushie?! Huzzah! Much hugging shall occur, though... am I going to have to keep stealing her away from your Cloud plushies? And - if FFVII Cloud 'grrr'ed before, you might want to cover his eyes for the last two chapters this week. Just sayin'... As for 'big bro' Zack - well, they joked about it way, way back in New Corel (I think) but I think it does fit both of them and the way they feel about each other. How could we resist, right? ding four for Scooby! siiiiigh, now I need an army of Cloud plushies to read over my shoulder... it sounds like you're having all kinds of fun (though... they might all jump me and beat me down considering some of the things I do to Cloud... yeah, you'd better keep them there with you and just tell me how it goes ;) that - and I will never oppose mischief on your part - lol. and oooh, yeah... you've nailed Tifa's problem on the head, haven't you? Who does turn the tables for her? And a round of applause to my **Peeka-chan **for insisting on betaing even though she's about to go into crunch time. and everyone give **Akuma** a hug. He was without internet this past week and I think we can all relate to the pain and horror that causes ;)_

Chapter 99: Time for the Cavalry

"What?!" Tifa repeated as she pelted down the hallway next to Zack, Red looping along behind them both.

"It's this weird phone!" Zack was trying to explain as they ran. "And it talks and stuff. It's how Leon's been getting all of his insider information. And it says they're in Midgar!"

"Who's in Midgar?!" Tifa asked even though she thought she knew and Zack affirmed it as they both bolted up the stairs, boots clattering on the metal.

"Cloud! Sephiroth, Jenova, those silver haired fruits! Everybody! It sounds like they're tearing the place apart!"

Tifa made a noise and almost lost her balance as the ship suddenly jerked under them and Zack reached out and caught her arm.

"How do we know?"

Zack shook his head.

"It's this weird phone with a cat face and a little dinky crown. I don't know," he answered Tifa's look. "Anyway, it's some kind of friend Leon made while he was in an orphanage or something. The guy works for Shinra and talks to Leon over the phone."

They reached the bridge at about that time and Tifa saw that the rest of the group, including the Turks, was gathered there already. Leon was standing to the side in front of the wide windows and, sure enough, he had a phone to his ear. It had little – Tifa blinked – it had little mechanical arms and legs that wiggled as whoever was on it talked and, sure enough, it had a little tin crown where its head should be. Tifa skid to a stop next to Shera and looked at the other woman. The smaller woman had her hands over her mouth.

"They're destroying Midgar," Shera told her. "They're pulling the Lifestream right out of the earth and it's destroying everything in its path."

Tifa's eyes went wide with horror at the thought. She'd only dealt with the Lifestream in that fountain Aerith had dipped into and it had been enough for her to decide it wasn't half as benign as it sounded. The thought of it uncontrolled and in flood was terrifying.

Aerith had taken the stone from the Lifestream…

And, thanks to its plethora of reactors, where else was the Lifestream closer to the surface than in Midgar itself?

Leon turned away from the window and caught sight of Tifa. Stride determined, he joined her.

"You've probably heard. Sephiroth is in Midgar. It seems as if a resurrected Jenova is as well. The reactors are blowing and the Lifestream is coming out of them. All of them. It looks like this is it."

Tifa felt her stomach clench with nerves but she nodded. The phone in Leon's hands moved and he lifted it to his ear. It really did have a little cat face molded to its earpiece. He caught her glance and, for a just a minute, his lips twisted wryly and the world wasn't ending. Just for a second.

"My…. friend enjoys mocking me. He wouldn't give me the phone unless he could design it himself."

The little arms on the phone flailed and Leon held it to his ear again, moving back toward the window to give the estimated amount of time until they arrived. The world continued ending.

And apparently they were the cavalry and were expected to come riding over the hill and save the day. From what Tifa could hear, the Shinra soldier barracks had been one of the first buildings to go.

"Five minutes!" Cid called and Tifa wondered how close to Midgar they'd been before the call had come. And how fast they had to be moving now if the clouds outside the window were any indication.

Leon shoved the cell phone in his pocket and moved to the center of the room. Tifa couldn't help but notice the way the pocket wiggled and shortly thereafter the cat face of the cell phone popped up out of the jacket and the two little arms clutched at the edge of the pocket. Leon ignored it.

"All right, people, it's time. Midgar has five reactors left operational and those are the ones that Sephiroth is pulling the Lifestream out of. If we pack enough explosives we just might be able to cause a big enough explosion to close the holes up. But that means splitting up into groups of two. From what Re- Cait Sith tells me, the reactors are swarming with those silver haired people Zack told us about earlier. That means potential Sephiroths just about anywhere we go. According to Cait though, most of the action seems to be going on near Shinra headquarters."

"Where they kept their piece or pieces of Jenova all those years," Tifa commented.

"Payback's a bitch," Cid offered around his cigarette.

Leon nodded.

"So we either concentrate on the reactors or we concentrate on Sephiroth and Jenova." He looked at his team gathered around him. "Sephiroth and Jenvoa," he stated and Tifa found herself nodding. Midgar would have to take care of itself for just a little while longer apparently. There just weren't enough of their group to take down all the reactors and hold off the clones as they channeled the great general.

Or worse…

"We can't land the Highwind. So get whatever you need. We'll get close to a rooftop and drop the ladder. We're going over the side as soon as we get within range."

Again, everyone around the deck nodded and then Reno stepped up.

"I'm goin' too, yo."

"Like hell!" Barret barked and Reno gave him a dry look from the corners of his eyes. But he focused on Tifa as he answered:

"I'm goin' cause the rest of you can't do what I can. You need me along in case things go bad."

The way he was looking at her, the apology she saw in his eyes, had Tifa's stomach starting to clench…

"What the fuck can you do that we can't?" Cid snarled.

Reno's eyes were calm and steady on Tifa's as he quietly answered:

"Kill Strife."

She felt the emotional blow to her stomach, felt her eyes go wide and the way everything seemed to drain out of her. Zack was suddenly in front of her and she'd never seen him look so tall and threatening before. His sword was already swinging free to rest in his hand. It was only when it was clear that she noticed he was also wearing Cloud's fusion sword the other way across his back. Tifa caught his arm and his eyes, blazing angry, looked down at her. She shook her head.

"He's right," she whispered and felt the way the entire group froze and strained to hear her. "He's right, Zack. All of us would hesitate. Reno won't."

Zack's eyes were suddenly young and like a little boy's as they searched hers but Reno's were suddenly ancient and tired.

"Do you think Cloud wants this? After everything he's done to make himself into someone he could be proud of – do you think he wants someone else using his body to do terrible things?" Her fingers tightened on Zack's arm and what she knew, what he knew, would be even worse for Cloud, she softly added: "Do you think he can bear someone else taking away who he is?"

Something in Zack's eyes crumbled and he lowered his head to rest it against the top of Tifa's.

"Gaia… it must be the worse kind of hell for him…"

"If we can't get him back, if he can't win… wouldn't he rather be dead than living for years and years while someone else controlled him and stripped everything that makes him who he is, who he's fought so hard to become, away?"

She was the worse kind of person in the world to say that. She must not love him the way she had thought she had. Wasn't love about protecting? Except… she'd seen what was in his eyes when he'd fallen in the Lifestream room in the ruins, behind the jade, and she could almost hear it in her soul right now. The sound of her Cloud screaming…

Zack shuddered and than straightened to look at Reno.

"All right," he decided for the group. "You come. But we get our chance if we find Cloud. We get our chance to save him first."

Reno shrugged, disheveled jacket moving carelessly.

"I got nothin' against Teef's dish washer."

And Tifa thought she just might be the only one in the room that knew… Reno wouldn't wait for them if he saw his opening.

Just business…

But he was right about being the only one that wouldn't hesitate and so they had to bring him anyway.

"If I was Jenova, I'd keep Cloud close to me. He's one of her most dangerous fighters and he'll be even worse if he's Sephiroth at the time. He's probably one of her last defenses just in case everything goes wrong," Leon stated it factually, focusing them back on the bigger picture. "We take down Jenova and Sephiroth and chances are good we end everything."

"How the hell are we gonna take down a damn ghost that swaps bodies alla the time?" Cid wanted to know and Leon turned to him with a tired smile.

"I don't know. Guess we make it up as we go."

"I fuckin' hate improvisation," Cid snarled but he didn't have any other suggestion to offer. Instead he turned his attention on Shera.

"Not you," he pointed and Shera pulled back in surprise.

"Captain?"

"Not you," Cid repeated. "You stay here and make sure this thing keeps runnin' no matter what happens. We're gonna need a pick up when it's over and it might need to be fast. You stay here an' keep track of alla us."

It was the longest Tifa had ever heard Cid go without cursing and she looked at him in surprise. So did Shera.

"But – " she started and Cid glared and pointed his finger.

"God damn it, woman! You stay put 'cause when I get back here we're gettin' married and I ain't havin' you gettin' fuckin' killed in the meantime! That's that!"

Tifa blinked. Shera blinked. Cid glared, spit out his cigarette and stomped it out on the floor and then stormed off the bridge. Everyone watched him go in contemplative silence.

"…wow…" Tifa managed after a minute and looked over at Shera. The other woman's eyes were huge behind her glasses. Slowly her cheeks started to go pink and then bright red. She made a noise and clapped her hands.

"You heard the captain. Less than five minutes. Let's go get you guys geared up."

Before she was completely sure what was happening, Tifa was darting back to the cabin to tell her siblings and Elmyra what was going. She kept it short and then headed for the deck. Marlene and Denzel came with her. Elmyra stayed with her daughter but her soft voice followed Tifa into the hall.

"I'll pray for you. All of you. Including that young man of yours, dear."

For a minute, it made Tifa's throat close and her hands tightened around Denzel and Marlene's where they were holding hers. But she bit her lip and kept moving. Next to her Marlene skipped to keep up.

"We decided," she began firmly, in her 'no nonsense' voice. "You have to bring Cloud back."

"I'll try," Tifa began the platitude but Marlene shook her head sharply.

"No. You've got to bring him back. Nobody else is going to be paying attention to him but he's family and we don't abandon family. Not for anything. Not ever."

It caught in Tifa's heart, deep in the center of her chest and the world around her suddenly went still and quiet. She stopped and went slowly to her heels in front of her siblings, drawing them both around to stand in front of her. Marlene's dark eyes were glittering with stubborn tears and Denzel had his head tipped down but he looked at her from the tops of his eyes. Very carefully, Tifa said:

"Saving Cloud will be dangerous."

Marlene's lower lip trembled and then she pressed it firmly against her upper lip. How deep did Lockhart 'family' run? All the way to death? All the way to risking that? It was too adult and too old and too horrible for little kids to deal with but the two in front of her weren't kids. They were Lockharts. Denzel just as much as Marlene no matter whether they shared the same blood or not. He understood it better than any of them and his eyes found hers. He gave a little nod and it was Cloud's, that achingly familiar single duck of his chin with eyes that didn't wavier from where they were fixed on someone else's.

"It's okay," Denzel's voice was soft. "He's family. We always go in after each other."

"Come here, both of you," Tifa said it softly and she drew them both into her arms where they hunched forward over and around her and for a very long moment the rest of the world could wait. There was only them, the Lockhart family, and nothing else mattered.

They were sending Tifa after one of their own.

Tifa filled her heart and her mind and the empty, empty hole in her chest with the feel of that and then she nodded and stood up. Her eyes were dry.

"I'm so, so proud of both of you," the weakness was only in her voice and that was because her voice wasn't enough to hold everything she was feeling at the moment. Two sets of eyes looked back up at her and there didn't need to be any more words. The speaker above them barked anyway.

"Lockhart! Get your ass up here before we decide to start the shit without you!"

It made Tifa's lips twist upward tightly and she gave her siblings a nod. They nodded back. Life had tried its hardest to knock the Lockharts out of the game and they hadn't fallen yet. They weren't about to start giving up now. With Denzel and Marlene flanking her, Tifa trotted down the hallway toward the ship's deck.

Win or lose, they were all in. All the way.


	100. Chapter 100: Team Work

Chapter 100: Team Work

Below the ground was rapidly approaching, silver and black and green. So much green. Too much green. It made her stomach feel sick. At first those colors were all she could see as she held the rope end in her hand and watched over the side of the Highwind as the ship descended on Midgar. Closer, she could see the bright orange of fire as well.

Then the buildings were approaching and Tifa could see how ragged and already broken they were. It reminded her of sandcastles built too close to the shore when the tide began to come in. She had just a moment to wonder at her sanity, getting involved in this, and then the wind around the broken buildings, caused by the surging Lifestream was buffeting the Highwind and Cid was yelling orders. They'd decided the ladder would take too long and make them all too easy a target so it was ropes for everyone instead. Tifa dropped hers over the side and waited until the Highwind steadied and the end of her rope pooled on the roof of a building. Taking a deep breath, refusing to think, she went over the edge of the railing as well, thick gloves tightening around the rope while her boots fumbled and then found the thick cord as well. Down she went, into the night and the dark and the green and the fire and even though she knew the others were dropping just like her, she felt as if she were very alone.

Her gloves smoked with friction and the roof of the building came toward her fast. Above her, wind beat against the Highwind and it swayed. So did she. 'It's like being thrown' she told herself. 'Just pretend some monster has just thrown you and that's a wall, not the ground'. She caught the impact on her legs instead of her feet, letting her body compact and sink instead of trying to stay upright. A second later the rope whipped off the side of the building as well and Tifa straightened as she pulled off the now worn through work gloves and flexed her hands in her fighting ones. The air stank of smoke and oil and steel. And… ozone. The scent she'd learned to associate with storms and Cloud. Mako.

Somewhere nearby there was Lifestream flowing. Tifa could hear the way it sounded like screaming.

Her hands shook when she curled them over the edge of the roof and looked around for the others but she wasn't about to back down. It was the final game and she wasn't going to go weak now. Since she was the only one that had ended up on this roof, she swung herself down to the fire escape and quickly worked her way down the side. She could hear gunfire nearby, the steady stream of Barret's and the shorter single snaps of Leon's or Vincent's. Someone ran past the front of the alley she was in just as she dropped off the ladder but they didn't pause for her and in the darkness she couldn't tell if it was one of the clones, one of her friends, or a helpless city dweller. Cautious she made it to the head of the alley herself and was just about to peek around the corner when an arm reached out and snatched her back.

She spun, ready to badly hurt someone – and saw the flash of blood red and black and gold, topped by a corpse pale face.

"Vincent."

She didn't know him but he'd gone with Red and helped save Aerith's mom. He was one of them and she reached up to lock her hand with his without hesitation. He pulled and she scrambled and soon she was joining him in the caved in hole in the side of what once had been a building. Red crouched next to him, tail casting strange flickering shadows and the eerie green from outside reflected in his golden eye. Vincent released Tifa to go crouch next to him and Tifa joined them.

"The others?" she asked and Red's flame twitched in the darkness.

"Yuffie, the Turk, and Zack landed right in front of the tower," Red's nose gestured toward the building that was Shinra headquarters. "Leon, Cid, and Barret landed two blocks over but they ran into some of the silver haired creatures."

Tifa, hand curled over the lip of the building, nodded. It was way too late for her to be having 'what the hell am I doing?' thoughts.

She was having them anyway.

She swallowed against her dry throat. The thoughts didn't mean she was going to turn around and run though.

Someone had taken Cloud and she was going to kick their ass for it.

"I'm here for Cloud," she stated softly and turned her head to meet Red's single golden eye. That gold shifted and softened.

"I too, am here for Strife," the red beast admitted. "I have yet to pay my debt to him."

Somehow it made it easier to breath and Tifa gave him a weak smile. Then she looked at the man between them. Vincent shrugged.

"I'm here to kill Hojo's creations. The clones will do to start."

"Good enough," Tifa decided and looked across the ruined street. "Think we can make it to the building?"

Red's head swung next to her and he made a sound in his throat. It was a Cloud sound, one of his quiet hums of agreement. It made Tifa's lips twist upward even as her eyes hurt and she swung herself over the ruined lip of rubble and out onto the equally ruined sidewalk. Nothing dropped down on her immediately and she turned to give the others a thumbs up before moving forward at speed.

For some reason Tifa was surprised when the first monster scuttled out of a ruined building to grab for her with its long, thin jointed arms. She'd expected the silver haired creatures, she'd thought she might run into Shinra soldiers or Turks, she'd hoped and hoped for finding pockets of Midgar's citizens still safe and hiding. For some reason, she hadn't expected monsters. And the monsters she hadn't expected to see proved to be even larger and fiercer and more suicidal than what she was used to fighting. Worse yet, to her way of thinking, was the fact that, whenever they paused to fight one monster, other monsters heard the sounds of battle and came to join the fight. Since the monsters were very low on the priority level, it turned into a running battle, with the creatures darting out of cracks in the ground or lurching out of holes in buildings to come at them while they defended and raced toward the Shinra building. Tifa grit her teeth and cast another mastered Cure. In her head she could hear Zack griping about 'fuckin' random battles!'

By the time they reached the Shinra building, they were all bleeding. At least Tifa knew that she and Red were. Dressed the way he was, she could only guess for Vincent but he'd taken his share of the blows and some of those blows had been meant for her.

When they got out of this she was going to make it a point to make him a real member of their team. Or pack. Or whatever they were.

"Red," she gasped it as she skid to a stop inside the ruined interior of the building and put her back to a wall. The lobby of the building was in ruins and seemed temporarily empty. Outside the dark of the city was lit up with another orange explosion. Panting, Red swung his great head to look at her.

"What do you think?" she asked. "Up where the President's office is or where the labs were?"

"Down."

Vincent's voice was amazingly unruffled as he intoned the word and Tifa looked over at him as he reloaded the huge gun he was carrying. The silver charm on the end of it caught the chaotic light from outside.

"Down?"

He nodded briefly and didn't look up from what he was doing.

"Jenova is downward. I can feel it. She is looked for locked secrets that should be left asleep."

"You can feel it?" The last time someone had told Tifa they could 'feel' what the enemy was doing, she'd ended up losing them. She knew enough to be wary of it now. Vincent's eyes rose and they were deep ruby under his black hair.

"The beast that lives inside me – he can feel Jenova. Predator to predator."

Tifa paused long enough to digest the new information and then nodded.

"All right," she looked at Red and got his nod. "We go down."

Surprise flickered briefly over Vincent's face and then he was emotionless again. It made Tifa smile tiredly.

"You're part of our team," she told the taller man. "That means we go where you go. So… let's go."

There were quite a few ways leading up and it took quite a bit of looking to find any that went down. In the end, they improvised and blew open the doors to the elevator. The shaft went down as well as up. Red sighed.

"I left my harness with the rope when we were dropped."

Vincent leaned over the edge and looked down the bottomless seeming shaft.

"I can fly us down."

For a minute, in the dead silence, the explosions from outside sounded faintly through the hollow lobby.

"What?" Tifa finally asked.


	101. Chapter 101: Descent

Chapter 101: Descent

If Tifa had been a screamer, she would have screamed all the way down.

'Flying' them down apparently meant changing into some kind of creature that was all dark and blood color and horrible eyes, scooping both her and Red up in arms that felt like ice and steel and simply plunging down the shaft feet first, Tifa's long hair trailing in a streamer behind them. In fact, the only time the wings came into play was at the very end when whatever Vincent had turned himself into, snapped them open and almost sent the top of her head through his chin where she'd been clinging to him with her eyes shut, face pressed into the ice brick he called a shoulder. She made a noise then, because the claws on the hand he had around her dug into her hip with the jerk, but that was the extent of her vocalizations.

When she got to know him better though, she'd have other vocalizations for him about this and she'd have to make sure her siblings weren't around to pick up the new words when she gave it to him.

His clawed toes lashed out and she heard metal grind and assumed it was the closed elevator door. A few more screeching blows and there was sudden light and the horrible smell of blood and broken entrails. Tifa let herself leave her eyes closed just a little bit longer. She felt Vincent settle and heard Red huff as he was dropped and/or set down. Skin tightening around her eyes, she told herself it was very unlikely that there was blood or gore this close to the elevator and when Vincent set her down, she wouldn't flinch no matter what sound her boots made.

Except he didn't set her down.

Waiting, she managed to get one eye open but since her face was against his shoulder all she saw was the strange organic fabric of his cloak or maybe it was his fur now since it seemed to shade back and turn into wings and the dim interior of the shaft behind her where the weak light managed to filter in. Behind her, she heard Red snarl:

"Set her down, mutt. You haven't earned the right to her yet."

Whatever Vincent was made a noise in its throat in response and it didn't sound human or animal. Tifa's other eye popped open so both of her eyes could widen and she felt the claws on her hip tighten again, breaking skin again. She made her own noise then and reached over his shoulder to tug on his wing.

"Down," she ordered. She already had too much to freak out over. Vincent wasn't allowed to join that. Slowly, very slowly, she was lowered to her feet. She reached down and pried the claws out of and off of her.

"Thank you," she managed primly as she stepped back and proceeded to dust herself off. That was the way you did things, at the bar when patrons got a little too familiar. You acted as if you didn't notice. Sometimes it worked, something you had to twist somebody's wrist. She hoped the first worked because whatever Vincent was, she thought if she tried to twist his wrist he'd consider it a turn on. The creature growled low in its throat and then the body hunched and went through the sickening twisting and popping it had done to change into whatever it was in the first place. Tifa didn't watch and tried not to listen to bones breaking and realigning. Afterward the only sound was Vincent's ragged breathing.

Tifa gave him a moment, pretending not to notice. He didn't seem the kind that appreciated sympathy and so the best support she could give him was to pretend she didn't notice that he needed it. Finishing her 'dusting', she straightened and looked around. And wished she hadn't.

The floors were painted with blood. So were the walls. Almost literally it seemed from the way the blood was dragged deliberately across the metal surfaces. And, as horrible as it was, what bothered Tifa more was the fact that, despite the smell and the gore – there were no bodies.

She pulled out her PHS and Yuffie answered on the second ring.

"Ho Huang's House of Hung. If you're a Ho we're Huang."

In the background, behind the girl's cheerful voice, Tifa could make out the sounds of battle and Reno's voice asking distantly:

"Is that a pizza place? Tell 'em we need extra olives, yo, and if it ain't here within fifteen minutes we want it for free."

"It's a telemarketer," Zack's voice responded from somewhere just a little closer. "They always call at the worse time. Like when you're in the shower, you know?"

"Or right when you and your girl are in the middle of fuc-"

"Yuffie!" Tifa interrupted. "You guys are going the wrong way. It's all downstairs. Under the first floor. You have to take an elevator shaft or something."

"Downstairs? There's a – hang on. Could you guys keep it down?!" she screeched over the sounds of battle and Tifa winced and held the phone away from her own ear. "I'm trying to talk here! Sorry, Tifa. What? There's a downstairs?"

"There's a sub-basement level to the Shinra building or something. It's where Jenova is. You need to get the boys and call Leon and get the others and come down here. Something bad's happened. I mean really, really bad."

"We should not stay in the same place for too long," Red commented and Tifa nodded.

"Look, I've got to go Yuffie. Get everyone and get them down here. Whatever's going on it feels like a slasher film."

"You're making a slash film?" Yuffie asked but Tifa knew she'd understood and so she hung up and pocketed the phone. Vincent gave her a nod and it was hard to tell in the flickering florescent lighting whether he was paler than usual or not.

"Which way?" she asked him, hoping he could still sense Jenova. The hall went both directions and so did the blood. He paused and lifted his head and she watched his nostrils flare a little. Then he shook his head.

"Either way. I suspect all paths lead to it."

Tifa looked down at Red and resisted the urge to say something dry simply because it was in his eyes to do the same. Instead she nodded and randomly picked the hall to the left. She took it at a trot because walking seemed too exposed and… wrong for this situation. Red padded next to her and Vincent took up rear guard behind them.

Tifa tried to stop her head from matching the words 'I wish I wasn't here, I wish I wasn't here' to the beat of her boots on the ground.

The air was stifling and heavy as whatever air vents and cooling units that were supposed to operate down here only seemed to be doing so fitfully. The blood made the air thick and it felt moist against her skin. Tifa resisted the urge to wipe at her face or rub at her arms. She gave the closed doors and air vents in the ceilings and walls wide berth as much as she could and told her mind to stop replaying scenes from that movie based on that shooter video game about the monsters on the base on Mars that she'd watched because she'd fallen asleep on the couch one night with the TV on and when she'd woken up it had been on.

Yeah, so not a good time to be remembering the whole totally unnecessary but nerve wrecking wading around in the water in the dark tunnel scene.

When the blast of fire exploded in front of her, Tifa's nerves were so tightly strung that she moved with a speed that even surprised her as she dove to the side and rolled, retaliating with a burst of mastered Bolt that tore through the ceiling and walls around the silver haired clone that had stepped out of a doorway ahead to attack them. It sent him through the doorway he'd just stepped out of and Tifa followed before he had a chance to recover. She didn't wonder for even a second if Red and Vincent were behind her as she followed the clone into a room that once, disturbingly, had apparently been a employee cafeteria of some sort.

She hadn't fought one of the clones before and this one was fast. Far, far too fast. He was also a potential Sephiroth but at the moment he was just himself. Tifa had wondered, briefly, how she should deal with the silver haired figures when she fought them. If they were being used like Cloud was, killing them seemed doubly horrible. The man in front of her though was smiling as he attacked them and Tifa quickly decided that anyone that smiled while they tried to kill you probably didn't need your pity or a gentle hand. She and Red and Vincent laid into the clone in the same pattern they'd developed against the monsters they'd fought, Red focusing the materia, Vincent supplying the long range attacks and Tifa closing in for the physical battering. It was a devastatingly effective routine. Despite his speed and the blows he got in, the clone was no real match for the three of them. He went down and his body began to haze with a strange black spotted fog. Before Tifa could get a closer look at what was happening though, there was an explosion of ice around her that tossed her backward as two more silver haired clones burst into the room.

Tifa shook off the splinters of ice and ignored the way they'd sliced fine lines over her exposed skin and clothes. She cast Cure over herself and both of her companions as she moved to join them but even that didn't heal everything. The monsters outside had taken their toll for their passage and the clone they had just defeated had inflicted his own damage. The constant battles were starting to wear them down and as the first silver haired man moved forward, sword flashing while his companion stood behind him and sent bolts of materia elements flaring their way, Tifa wondered just how many battles you could fight before you simply ran out of the ability to.

Enough battles to end with just one more fight in you than your opponent had in them, she guessed.

Planting her feet, she settled into her opening crouch and waited for the right opportunity to move forward and bring her fists and feet into action.

A part of her was still waiting for one of the clones to morph into Sephiroth. She wasn't sure how they'd manage if he showed up. Just that they'd have to.

The fight quickly devolved into the controlled chaos that was battle and Tifa found herself fighting another clone she couldn't even remember seeing enter the battle. This one was all speed and muscle and he traded her blow for blow. Neither of them were above using the abandoned furniture either and Tifa dodged the table he slid at her before kicking a metal and plastic chair up into the air and then at him without having to drop her boot to touch the ground between the motions.

He was stronger than her but she was faster, even with the strange sliding motions he could use that seemed to put him in two spots at once. She got in more blows but when one of his hit home, she felt it. Lashing out with her leg, she caught him in the jaw with her heel and he went back. But he caught her ankle as he did so and spun her before bringing her down hard on the floor. She made a noise and covered her head with her arms and the floor, already weakened, buckled and collapsed under her, chunks of concrete and rebar leaving furrows in her skin. She fell through the floor/ceiling and crashed down on what felt like a desk or conference table. She heard a crack and the brief cry of pain and surprise left her. The breaking sound had come from her, not the wood under her.

Air left her lungs in a rush as fire spread up through her rib cage but she kept enough sense to roll and her body fell off the table as her silver haired attacker came down after her with a follow up blow that halved the polished imitation wood of the table. Though the hole in the ceiling, Tifa could see the flares of materia.

While her opponent was over balanced from his missed blow, she lashed up with a foot again and this time she caught him in the nose. He gave a cry and even as he fell backward she noticed the familiar black fog starting to swirl around him. Quick, she focused her mind, reaching out for the Cure materia on her glove. A blast of energy lifted her, the pieces of the desk and several chairs off the ground and threw them as Fire exploded upward around her. The noise it ripped out of her was harsher than she'd let herself make so far and she felt the way her skin went raw where the core of the blast had caught her. It shattered her concentration and the half caught Cure blinked out as she rolled instinctively to avoid another blast, this time of ice. Her abraded skin protested the rough surface of the rug as she dragged across it.

A form fell toward her and since she saw silver when it did, she raised her hand. It was an instinctive move. She didn't have any materia her mind was wrapped around and as punches went, it wasn't well timed and didn't have much force behind it. It did connect however and as it did, something surged up through Tifa's body that felt a little bit like electricity and a little bit like water. There was a flare of blue as her fist connected with the stomach of the man over her and she watched in amazement as he was hurled backward as if she'd struck him with a mastered Bolt at close range. She blinked and her throat suddenly felt dry.

"Holy…" she managed weakly. That hadn't been materia. She knew what materia felt like. That had felt like… as ridiculous as it sounded… that had felt like… her.

There was a cry of rage from the corner the body had been thrown into and Tifa snapped back to the present, frantically concentrating on Cure and hoping it was fast enough as the silver haired man she'd thrown so impossibly lurched out of the rubble of the wall and charged toward her, twin silver blades in each hand.

And for the second time in as many minutes, Tifa's concentration shattered as the ground under the rushing man suddenly exploded in blinding electric power. The silver haired clone was illuminated and his scream, rage and pain, split Tifa's ears. His body flared and when the light died, even the black fog was gone. Tifa twisted weakly as she heard movement from the doorway and saw familiar boots.

Heart in her throat, she raised her huge eyes and saw…

She almost wept.

Silver moonlight for his hair…

"Cloud…"

His eyes swept down to where she lay and they were jade with all too familiar snake slits. There was no recognition in those cold, inhuman depths.

"Mine," the voice that left his lips wasn't his and it was as dead as the attacker he addressed, as he added: "My kill."


	102. Chapter 102: Cloud II

_okay, gentle readers and best beloveds, we're coming down the final stretch now. I think we're past the 'hang on tight' stage and into the 'run with me' part. don't worry, we're all rolling all downhill from here so I don't think we'll be able to stop if we wanted to. This story would have never gone on as long as it did if it wasn't for my best beloveds leaving reviews. And such delicious and detailed reviews. This story is really all because of you guys and I'm so thrilled you've come up along beside me and had just as much fun, if not more, with this than I have. There shall be much sharing of hugs when we reach the end. But that's not just yet ;) So, come on - we've got to keep up with this thing now :D **OCV** - I adore, and I know I've already told you so, the way you review every single chapter. As you read it. It's like letting me sit nearby and enjoy all your reactions right as they happen. It's so much fun! And, as Sephiroth kind of took over Cloud for a while there in the game (and attempted to in ACC), he had to make his appearance and mess with our boy here as well. Sharing cells must suck. Vincent in a bi-plane?! That's hysterical. I say we buy him a silk scarf to wear over his shoulder like Snoopy. I'm glad you liked the contrast in the night and day, etc. It's just too easy to get descriptive with stuff like that. Cloud's such an easy contrast to play with. And, oh, Tifa's hair... yeah... about that... **ladywisdom** - I'm so glad Tifa's decision about killing Cloud was understandable. I tried to make the point behind what sounded like a heartless decision relatable. I can't imagine Cloud bearing being someone's puppet after all he's been through. And yep, had to bring the Turks, or Reno, at least, back into the picture. What would the FFVII world be like without Turks? **Fairheartstrife** - hopefully this will make up, just a little, for the mental and emotional scaring I put you through last week. LOL and I'm so glad you're enjoying Tifa. She's the main character and so I'm always worried about falling into the trap of not making her believable or relatable or sympathetic. It means the world to me when readers back her. And I LOVE that phone call in DoC. Cloud's happy and healthy, Tifa and Barret are bouncing off each other, and they're one big happy family. I've got to admit I saved it to my computer just so I can enjoy it. Who knew Cloud was from the midwest? **calenlass** - why, thank you :D and I hope you like the way I ended this week too than. **caledon** - great big hugs for you! And yes, we can can can! wo0t for Moulin Rouge. I admit, I can't do smut but if I'm curling toes with my fluff I'm feeling pretty darn accomplished and smug at the moment. Welcome, welcome, welcome along and I hope you continue to enjoy. I'll do my best! **Dis! **- there you are! you had me worried for a bit there. and don't worry - as much as 'nice job' is... nice, I so much prefer my detailed reviews. If you wrote something short and bland I'd be more worried than if you just disappear for a week or two. And hey, you know every Tifa/Cloud fic just HAS to have them getting into a fight somewhere in there. I just took it a bit more literally ;) while I won't give away what evil I'm plotting (or have written) I will say I really do like the idea of Cloud shish kabobing Seph for a change. Seriously, what is it about impaling him that's so attractive?! ** Akuma **- ding! points for recognizing Doom. Yep, it's been forever since I watched it but I do remember the horrible dark hallways they were always having to wander through. And, what kind of writer for FFVII would I be if I didn't tear apart Midgar when the op presented itself, right? **vx-luna-xv** - ding two! for Doom. And, well, okay. Here. Have some more Cloudy action. I know we've all been missing him. **mc** - good eye picking up on the whole Vincent adjusting to lack of a defined alpha in his group. I love when the little hints I never follow through on still get picked up along the way by my readers. And I absolutely understand about using fictional characters to work through things. How do you think I got started writing and telling stories in the first place? My sister and I used to stand at the kitchen sink washing dishes as kids at night and make up stories for each other with the other sibling as the main character. It was a much safer way to deal with what was going on around us. I still have issues pop up with my characters from time to time that I'm exploring myself. And yes... Cloud's 'mine' will come into play even more here. But then again... so will Tifa's ;) **lexi-yeesh** - Aerith's comatose at the moment. Probably. And all I can say about 'don't kill her' is Run! Tifa, Run! **demonegg** - cookies! lol - I knew I forgot something! Cloud may have to wait until he's not a psychotic killer first to get the cookies though. You never know, Tifa's a determined girl. Though if you give a Cloud a cookie... that's so going to be permanently burned into my subconscious, you know. **vanilla** - seriously awesome review. And - don't worry, lol - you're not the only one that automatically cheers for Cloud even when he's being evil. I'm so flattered you think I've caught the right mix of humor, drama, tension, fluff, and sheer evil. I try to balance it; no one wants too be depressed for too long but too much fluff can rot your teeth (so I've heard). If I'm serving up a round, balanced meal than I'm doing something right and that's what I want. Thank you, cause your review really made my day :D **:'D **- you know, it didn't even click with me but we did pass the hundred chapter mark, didn't we?! wo0t! go us! We deserve another party - cake and ice cream - or ice cream cake - all around! We need to make rootbeer floats too while we're at it. you liked Cid's proposal, eh? It just popped out of him. I wasn't planning it but when it popped out, after I got done laughing, I thought - oh. we are SO keeping that. Those two needed some resolution, don't they? **cherrypudding** - 0.0 just - 0.0! I don't think I've ever been so floored by a review as the ones you posted. You practically went through every chapter and pointed out what popped out at you and what you enjoyed. 0.0 My little writer's soul SO sucked it all up like a Hover. I can't tell you how flattered and floored and amazed and grinning like an absolute idiot those reviews made me. I'm having a hard enough time picking my jaw up off the floor. Oh. My. Lord. I would hug you but one - I might never let go and two - I just might squeeze you too hard in my enthusiasm. Wow. You - just wow me. And, it was so much fun to go back through the story through your eyes too. I've been so focused on the end, tripping my way backward through your eyes was such a relief and a joy. I - wow - there's just no way I can thank you enough for that. Plus I think I'm in love with the phrase 'a TamLin written Cloud' - lol. So I'm going to throw another chapter on above my usual three just because of you. Everybody needs to treat cherrypudding to a rootbeer float or something! And of course - always, always thanks to **Peeka-chan** - who has now finished editing the last of the chapters and given me her stamp of approval. She has been awesome and encouraging all the way through and without her I'd have a lot less commas and a lot more fragmented sentences.  
_

Chapter 102: Cloud

Eyes wide, terror giving her new adrenaline, Tifa rolled even before the man in front of her started to move. It was just as well that she did because when Cloud moved it was such a quick slashing motion that she almost didn't see it. Until he was rising from where he'd buried a sword that was red, twisted metal in the floor where she'd been and the ground itself under where it had impacted was caving in with the force of the blow. Her mouth and throat had never felt so dry.

With another cry of denial, she got her feet under her and scrambled backward. His eyes snapped around at the sound and there was actual pleasure in them. Those cold, dead orbs of jade they'd put in place of his own endlessly blue forever eyes of electric and storm…

He came at her again and she didn't even hesitate as she sent the strongest Bolt she could tap into rolling forward in a ball of electricity that screamed as it surged forward. He absorbed the attack without noise even though she could see it tearing great gouges in him. Turning she traded casting Cure on herself for the chance to leap upward for the edge of the hole in the ceiling instead. Her ribs screamed at her for the choice but she clawed and pulled and grunted and her feet kicked out of the way just as the twisted red of the sword slashed through the air where they had been. Gasping, not even caring what she was stumbling into compared to what she was stumbling away from, she didn't even waste time standing, instead she simply lurched forward on her hands and her knees.

She should say something. Some magic word that would remind him of who he was, who she was, and that would bring him back to her. Except her mind was blank and her voice was frozen in her throat. She loved him… and she hated what they'd done to him.

She should have come in here with some kind of plan. Damn it if she knew what it should be though.

Flares of Fire shot over her head, the burn off from a materia cast at someone else. She found a corner of the wall just as Cloud came up through the hole in the floor after her.

There was no doubt in her mind he was singularly after her.

She'd always known he was terrifying. She'd never been afraid of him before though. Now she suddenly understood completely why the people he went up against tended to collapse so completely in front of him. Except… jade dead eyes would never be as terrifying as ones that snapped electric blue fire…

"Cloud!" she called his name and he turned toward her but there was no recognition of the name, only the sound of her voice in his eyes. Whatever had him now, it wanted her dead. Because he would die if he killed her. She knew enough to know that.

She wasn't brave or trusting enough to let it try to kill her and hope that sparked enough strength in Cloud to try to stop it from doing so though. That kind of thing might work in movies… she didn't think she was going to risk her life to it working in real life.

He came at her and she cast Cure on herself and scrambled upward, turning to run. Leading him away. Because this was between the two of them. It was always just about the two of them.

He chased and she risked a glance over his shoulder. Dug the toes of her boots into the ground and put a burst of speed to her flight.

"He's faster," she challenged back over her shoulder. "He would have caught me by now. You're not him and you're too slow."

It was his body, her Cloud's body. She had even caught a glimpse of leaking black pus down the back of his left glove. But it wasn't his eyes behind the shock of falling silver hair and whatever it was that used his body could never match her Cloud's grace.

Her Cloud…

She'd promised Denzel and Marlene she'd bring him back. All she could think to do was stall him long enough for someone, anyone, to find and kill Jenova. And then, maybe then, whatever was holding him would lose its grip. If not… if not she was going to have to find a way to knock him unconscious. Because she wasn't leaving without him.

And she wasn't about to let him kill her.

She hurtled a pile of rubble and was out the door in a heartbeat. Some kind of magic exploded behind her but again, it wasn't meant for her. Her side still hurt, even with the cast Cure, and she wondered how far she could run. How fast. And, most importantly, where to. She needed a plan and fast.

When the first clone darted out in front of her, she didn't have time to think, just react. She dropped and skid, a move Denzel had practiced on her for months when he'd taken up baseball. It sent her sliding under the outstretched arms and her momentum carried her forward. The second clone was waiting for her though and she flipped to her feet just as he came around the corner of the hallway. Their bodies impacted and both of them went down. Tifa used her years of fighting in the Midgar slums to make sure she landed on top of him and when she did that she drove her elbows into him. He made a satisfyingly pained noise but it had slowed her down and even as she scrambled to her feet, he wrapped a hand around her ankle.

"We'll make Brother watch," his voice was a little lower and rougher than the voice that had come out of Cloud's mouth, slurred as if it wasn't sure about how to properly form words. The words it did form though made her heart ache and freeze in her chest. "It's more fun when he watches."

She twisted and brought her other foot down hard enough to make him let go of her and scream in pain. Hands caught at her from behind.

"We like it when Big Brother watches," the second clone's voice was silken and the words better formed but they were still slurred at their edges. "He hates watching."

She grabbed a wrist and wrenched it and the body, surprisingly light, flew over her shoulder. From instinct more than anything else, she dodged to the side and the red sword whistled past, clipping her shoulder hard enough to spin her. The pain made her cry out and her arm tingled and went numb. When she spun away from him, her blood flicked out and spattered the side of Cloud's face.

And on that side, between deep red and pale skin, that single eye, just for a moment, flickered aqua blue.

His name escaped her in a sob but the sword was swinging again and the blue was glassing over into cold jade. She dropped and rolled – and was on her feet and running again. Teeth bared she waited just a second before spinning and calling down her one trick. As soon as Cloud was past them, she called down Ultima from the single materia hidden in the palm of her glove and watched its rolling green wave disintegrate the two clones that had enjoyed the thought of making Cloud watch what they'd planned to do to her. Then she turned and bolted.

Behind her, she heard her name called and recognized Zack's voice. She recognized the panic in it and it made her heart break. He couldn't be a part of this though. Cloud would kill him.

Or he'd kill Cloud.

She heard Zack cursing as clones waylaid him and she spun to the side and down another branch in the hallway. Behind her, she heard the steady drum of following footsteps.

"My Cloud is faster," she called back over her shoulder. "He'd chase me for a kiss. You're too slow."

The footsteps quickened but he was still too slow. Cloud wasn't that slow. But… she wondered, could Cloud make himself that slow…?

She was almost to the door she thought must be a stairwell when the monster dropped out of the air vent above her. She went down without a sound because she was too surprised to scream. She saw double-jointed spindly legs of slick black and gaping jaws of red and bone white. Her vision was full of nothing but her hair and the white of her arms and shiny black insect shell and ivory mandibles or fangs or both. Ice and then fire tore across her raised arm and she did scream then, the pain wrenching the sound out of her as hot liquid poured down in a river and she realized it was her own blood. Her hand and arm went numb and would have dropped but her wrist was still in the creature's mouth and she could feel bone grinding. Her vision went black at the edges and she forced herself to focus.

Her burst of Fire flared bright over its body and it dropped her arm as it reared back with a squeal. She saw it had sharp tips on the end of each of its multitude of legs and they wove briefly above her before dropping down. Her lower body still pinned under it, she helplessly raised her arm in front of her eyes, protecting them for some reason instead of any of her other vital organs.

The monster screamed again and she felt it fall backward. Her head turned to the side and, right next to her, she saw a familiar boot. Cloud's sword whispered again and monster blood poured down over her. The body, neatly halved, fell backward off of her while its legs continued to twitch. She looked up; face covered in blood, arm throbbing, and saw blue. And gold. And silver. And jade.

The sword swung down and she rolled. Suddenly, her head felt lighter and she realized his boot was still pinning down the length of her overlong hair. The edges of its now shortened length fell against her shoulder blades in a ragged cut.

She responded by lashing out with a foot and kicking his ankles out from under him.

On the slick floor, he went down and, faster than she'd thought she would be able to, Tifa crawled on top of him. Her limp arm, looking like so much meat that she had to be careful not to look directly at it or the shock would wear off and she'd start throwing up, pooled blood and coated his left side.

"Who are you?" she was desperate for him to remember but under her he only shook his head and, in his pale face, too tightly angled, his eyes were jade.

"No one," his voice held anger as much as a hollow, empty note and she caught at that. So glad and relived to hear the anger that she almost sobbed. Because it wasn't an anger at her. Maybe, just maybe...

"Dammit!" she hit his chest with a fist and the blow wasn't light. "Say your name!"

His pupils slit against her but, again, she saw sparks of electric blue at the edges of his jade irises. He reached up and heaved her off and his touch wasn't light either.

But it wasn't as hard as it should have been.

"No One." His voice was a whip crack. Stubborn. So stubborn. She loved that about him. And she never caught him off guard when she came at him head on when he didn't want to deal with something.

She hit the wall and fell onto the ruins of concrete and debris left from the fight with the monster. She let the pained noise slip from between her lips. It hurt. The bits and pieces dug into her back and arms and abused already damaged skin. Her arm was screaming. But, for the first time, it didn't matter. He got a foot under him and started to rise and she still saw the florescent lighting flickering against the ugly red metal of the sword and in his jade eyes.

"Who am I?" she whispered and even over the distant noise of battle, the shouts and the cries and the explosions, he heard her. She'd known he would. Cloud always heard her. Her name slipped out between his tight lips before he could think about it. Even as he was now, voice foreign, it still caressed her name before his tongue released it.

"Tifa…"

She stayed where he had tossed her, as painful as the position was. He was a breath away from killing her. And she had no energy left to run. Only her name held him to her. Her name and perhaps the pain her body gave away with the way it laid.

"Who's…" she turned her head against the stone, her hair a pool of black around her as she looked at him, tears she didn't have to fake coming to her eyes. Because… it broke her heart to remember... "Who's Tifa?"

His foreign cat eyes narrowed to slits. And electric blue flared in them as they did.

"Mine." It snarled out between his teeth, again before he could stop and think. Before… whatever was inside him could trick him into remembering something different or push him to the side. She opened her good hand so that her palm was pointed upward toward him and softly moved her fingers in a beckoning gesture. Intentionally mimicking the way she'd asked for him when Sephiroth had nearly killed her what felt like so very long ago.

"Who's?" she whispered again and he came to her then. Still not her Cloud. Still that… other, because his motions weren't smooth enough, weren't unconsciously graceful enough. But he came all the same and his hands closed over her upper arms. He lifted her torso off the broken rubble but she made herself stay limp and her neck fell back for him. How often had he, as her Cloud, buried his face against her throat? She was using every trick she could think of to lure him back.

"Mine. My Tifa." It came out of his chest when he said it this time and his voice held the memory of a familiar rumble. His gloves on her were painfully tight but she didn't protest or try to struggle away. Instead she found his eyes with hers, feeling her own anger and fire surfacing. Anger at whatever it was that was using his body, preying on the man she loved and taking advantage of his shattered memories.

"Whose are you?" she asked him and all the softness was stripped out of her voice. His head jerked back as if she'd just punched him. Or someone had grabbed him by his hair.

Hair that was shading from silver to gold and gold to silver in washes of color that moved like clouds over the sun.

"Whose?" Tifa demanded and his face tightened as the skin stretched over the lean bones of it. His eyes shut to nothing but slits and he turned his face away. But… it was a Cloud move. Tifa lifted her head and turned it to the side to press a kiss to one of the gloved hands wrapped so tightly around her arm.

"Whose Cloud are you?" she whispered.

"Yours," it tore out of him in a grunt, a gasp, a groan and his body shook at the silent force of it.

"Mine…" she breathed it in an exhale. "My Cloud. You've always been my Cloud."

"Tifa – " his voice was strained and tight. In pain. But it was Cloud's voice even if he hadn't looked at her yet. She pulled out the last dirty trick she had in her book and shifted. Just a little. Just enough so that one of the rocks that had been digging into her back jabbed her sharply and she could let the little sound of pain 'escape' her. He hunched over her at the sound with a low, rough noise in his own throat, pulling her up and into his crouched body. His hands on her kept her from being able to lift her arms to hold him or touch his hair but she let her body seek shelter in the curve of his.

"Cloud…" she whispered his name and let all of her love and her longing and loneliness fill and overflow in her voice on his name as the world around her threatened to go dark. "Cloud, Cloud… my Cloud…my Chocobo Head…"

The sound was painful and yet it was a choked, crying stifled laugh from his throat and he suddenly pressed his face into the curve of her throat and shoulder.

"Blue dresses…" she heard the strain in his voice, his familiar, much loved voice. Heard the way his words hissed out between grit teeth. "Wine dark eyes… stars and ocean waves… whispers in the night… beautiful fingers…"

"Camping under the stars," she offered. Thinking, hoping, he was battling for his own memories against whatever had been planted inside him. "Dancing at the Gold Saucer. Shower kisses. Keeping my nightmares away at night. Pancakes. Marlene. Denzel. Needing a bigger bed to fit us all in. Not needing a bed at all for the two of us." She turned her face to press a kiss against the tip of his ear. "Come back to us, Cloud. We miss you. I miss you."

"Tifa – " the pain in his voice hurt her because it was so much more than just physical pain. She heard the pain of his heart and soul mixed in with it. "Denzel, Marlene. Yuffie. Zack..."

"Is going to try to head noogie you when you come back," she whispered through the tears in her throat. His response was a choke that might have been a dying laugh and then his body bowed forward over hers and he was screaming without making a sound, arms holding her as if the rest of the world had disappeared to him and she was threatening to do the same. She managed to get her good arm around him, feeling the way his muscles strained and shifted under the fabric of his clothes and she found places where his skin showed through rips in the fabric and dug her nails hard and deep into him. Holding him with every ounce of strength inside her and never – never – letting go. She had meant it. He was her Cloud.

And she didn't share.

"I love you," it came out in a whisper and she wasn't even sure he could hear but once it was let loose it refused to stop and she found herself repeating it over and over and over again. "I love you, I love you, I love you."


	103. Chapter 103: Do We Have a Plan?

Chapter 103: Do We Have a Plan?

She was still wound tightly in his arms when the hallway lurched and the feeling of vertigo swept through her strong enough to make her nauseated. She must have made a noise because Cloud tucked her closer into himself and steadied both of them. Dust shook down from the ceiling and it occurred to her that not only were they underground, but they had an entire building on top of that as well. Her world stayed gray around its edges as the shaking stopped and she was just realizing that, even in Cloud's arms, she felt cold, when the familiar tingle of a Cure spell washed over her. She knew she hadn't cast it herself and Cloud was the only one in the hallway at the moment. She gave a sigh and relaxed into him. His body stayed tense however and he shifted her, cradling her shredded arm against her chest as he let another Cure wash over her. The skin on her arm crawled and felt like insects running over her for a minute and then it settled down to a low throb. A third time and the throb was soothed away, leaving only warmth and a little shaky weakness in its place.

She whispered his name, eyes closed and content in what felt like the first time in forever. His lips brushed her forehead but there was hesitance in them.

"I hurt you," his voice was low and shaky and she gave him a weak smile without opening her eyes.

"You cut my hair."

Unconsciously, in response, his fingertips where his hands were tangled against her brushed at the ragged tips of her hair where it lay against her shoulder blades.

"I did," he sounded devastated and yet unsure if he should laugh or not over such an inconsequential thing in comparison to everything else. Hesitant, afraid of seeing jade again, she carefully opened her eyes. Cloud's eyes had been intently studying her but the second hers touched them, they shifted to the side and away.

They were endless blue however.

Gentle, she raised her hand that wasn't covered in drying blood and cupped his cheek. The skin over the bones of his face was still tight and it wasn't relaxed around his eyes either. She felt as if there was a fist around her heart and it was starting to tighten.

"Are you… going to stay?" she could only whisper it and his eyes came back to hers, hesitant under the fringe of his golden bangs. He swallowed.

"…yes?"

The fist around her heart squeezed a little bit tighter. Because he was afraid. And so – so was she. Her fingers traced along the side of his face, remembering and re-memorizing the feel of him. His eyes watched her as if she were every secret he'd ever wanted.

"Will you," she paused and managed a little smile. "Will you kiss me? Please?"

His lips parted the smallest bit as the exhale escaped him. His eyes went lost and bottomless and the darkest blue she'd ever seen.

"Yes."

He bent his head while he held her cradled in his arms and his mouth closed over hers. It was like coming up for air after being underwater too long and like drowning at the same time. It was like crying until you're hollow and laughing until you hurt. It was sorrow and it was life and Tifa wound her arms tightly around his shoulders and refused to let go.

"I love you," he murmured it against her mouth and her arms tightened around him even more. "I always have. Even when I knew you weren't my memory, I loved you."

Her fingers tightened on him and drew him down again. The timing was bad but… she needed to kiss him. More than common sense or the rest of the world continuing on without them or being in a dangerous position… she needed to kiss him. The sound he made in his throat as he responded listed his priorities as well. When she finally let him go, when he finally drew just a little away, he lowered his head more and pressed his mouth to her shoulder. Where his sword had cut her before the Cure spell had wiped the wound away. The heat of his kiss there made her shiver and she wound her body closer around his.

"You are you. You're the Cloud Strife that lived in Midgar as a child and saved Wutai as a youth."

"Tifa…" his voice was soft and he gathered her up in his arms, standing. "It's all right. I know."

He sounded utterly at peace with it, for the first time she'd ever heard him, and yet… he sounded a little sad and a little broken too. She tipped her head back to look at his face and his lips, just barely, shifted upward on one side for her.

"I know. The clones are dead bodies stuffed with materia, mako and Jenova cells. Jenova's consciousness is what gives them life and lets them borrow memories from the Lifestream. They have no memories of their own. They're not really alive and that's why they dissolve when they die. Hojo was creating them without knowing what he was doing, that he was under Jenova's control before I killed him." He hesitated over the twisted red sword but eventually stooped and picked it up, still managing to hold her in his arms. "I'm one of the failures. Bad batch of mako. The memories weren't purified enough. And I was too newly dead. But it's still how Jenova can control me. Her cells are in my body. That's where the black under my skin comes from. Why the attacks come and why the disease spreads whenever I'm somewhere that she's nearby. I was made for her."

"Cloud…?"

His eyes slid to look down at her as he walked and he answered the question she hadn't asked yet.

"I know because she let me remember, Teef. It pleased her."

She shook her head, violently.

"No. You're Yuffie's Cloud. She remembers. You've got the scars from where Sephiroth stabbed you before you tossed him in the Lifestream. You're you, Cloud Strife."

The edges of his lips shifted just a little upward on both sides and it softened his face for a moment. She saw light in his eyes briefly. He exhaled almost silently.

"That's good to know. I… I really did something worthwhile then, didn't I? While I was still alive."

"Cloud?"

His shoulder moved and it wasn't a shrug. It was his left shoulder. The one that was already soaking through with sticky black liquid. His eyes met hers and the pain wasn't in his eyes anymore. But she didn't like what was.

"I'm still borrowing my life, Tifa. Even if it really is in my own body. I'm only alive because of the crap Hojo shoved into me." He shouldered a door open and was going down stairs now, with her still protectively tucked in his arms. "How's Aerith?"

The change of subject jarred her and she scowled. Not ready to let go of what they were talking about. And yet –

"She's alive. On the Highwind. She's… it's like she's not really there, Cloud. She is, I mean, her body is, but I can't feel her. Not – not the way she always makes a room feel."

She was stumbling over the words but he nodded, understanding anyway.

"It was my fault, Tifa. Jenova used her connection with me to keep the path between the shore and the Ancients' island open. It should have disappeared when Aerith got a certain distance from it but… I was the link that kept the bridge open."

She made a noise and he shook his head again.

"It's all right. When Jenova dies, Aerith will be free to get better. I'll make it right. I promise." He paused outside a doorway in the stairwell and gently set her on her feet. He didn't let her out of his arms though and she wasn't about to leave them anyway. His voice was low and rough at its edges as he softly explained: "Jenova is using the stone from the temple to swallow pure Lifestream without losing herself to it. Like a filter. But she isn't part of this planet and so the Lifestream doesn't recognize her. Tifa," his eyes met hers. "She's straining the power through people so that the Lifestream will be tricked into being swallowed. This entire floor is a holding pen."

Every time she thought she'd already heard everything that could make her feel sick to her stomach with how twisted the world had become, she found out she was wrong. She didn't even understand everything Cloud was telling her, just the bare basics of the explanation. It was enough to make her feel ill and that was before she got the chance to find out exactly how you 'strained' power through people. Cloud's hands moved over her back slowly, reassuring both of them.

"Clones?" she asked softly as she pressed her face into his throat. Asking about what was beyond the door while she stole a last few moments with him. He nodded, fingers weaving through her hair.

"Monsters," he added and she made a noise to show she'd heard.

"Jenova?"

"At the end," his voice was as soft and calm as she remembered and she held him tighter. In response, his own arms tightened around her and his body shifted to keep her in its protective curve as much as he was able. She burrowed as close as she could and, after a long pause, asked:

"Sephiroth?"

"Dead." So Zack had been right – in a way none of them had expected. "For years now. She's kept him trapped. She lets him out through the clones as she needs him and then drags him back again when the job gets done."

And he'd used Cloud's body. She could only imagine what that had done to the man in front of her now. She just held him tighter.

"Plan?" she asked and heard him hum his amusement. For some reason it brought tears to her eyes and she squeezed them shut so nothing would fall and give her away. Somewhere above them another explosion was strong enough to shake the stairwell they were in.

Their friends were making a mess. She loved them fiercely for it.

"Go in. I kill clones. You break open doors and get people moving to the stairs."

"Reinforcements?"

He was quiet for a moment and then his voice, sounding a little dry, asked:

"Did you manage to hang on to a PHS?"

She made a noise and would have hit him except it would have meant letting go of her death grip on him.

"In my vest," she told him instead and felt the way he let his hand drag and linger over her as he found it himself and pulled it loose. Still holding her with one arm, he flipped it open and hit the speed dial with his thumb. Then he lowered his head to tuck it against hers as he held the phone to his ear.

"Zack?" his voice was steady. "We need you."


	104. Chapter 104: Restoration

Chapter 104: Restoration

Zack wasn't the only one that came. She would have been shocked if he was.

Yuffie was the first one that found them and the noise she made when she spotted her brother was ear shattering. Tifa moved just in time to avoid getting sandwiched as the younger girl threw herself into her brother's arms, alternating between hugging him, crying on his shirt and hitting his chest with inventive sounding foreign curse words. Zack was right behind her and since Cloud was busy being accosted he hauled Tifa into his arms for a crushing hug.

"You scared the snot out of me, babe," he told her fiercely. "Don't you _ever _do that to me again."

She chuckled waterly against him and hugged him back.

"Promise," she agreed. "Next time Cloud goes psycho and decides to kill us all, I'll hang around."

The noise he made was rude and indicated his opinion but by then Yuffie was hauling away from Cloud enough to berate him and Zack stepped forward so he could pull the shorter man into the same crushing embrace he'd used on Tifa only moments ago.

"Shut up and take it," he grunted as Cloud made an abused noise. "You deserve it after scaring us all."

Tifa didn't miss that, for all his protests, Cloud didn't break the bear hug.

"So we are together again."

Tifa looked down to see that Red had arrived and Vincent was right next to him. It seemed they had become an unlikely duo.

"Yeah," she wiped at her eyes and smiled. "Just like old times. Except for the new additions and the ultimate evil and all."

"So do I get a hug too?" Reno asked as he came down the last of the stairs with Leon, Barret and Cid. Barret gave him a glare and then proceeded to jerk Tifa into a hug that threatened to cut off her air supply.

"Tol' you that boy was trouble," he grumbled at her.

"Yeah," she managed a weak laugh as he let go of her enough to let her pull in oxygen. "And now he gets to be trouble for the other team."

"Never said he wouldn't," Barret gave her a crooked smile and seemed to almost absently lean over and smack Cloud on the back of his shoulder almost enough to knock both him and Zack over.

"So – we've got a plan?" Leon asked after giving Tifa a thorough visual search without moving toward her.

"Kill everything?" Zack suggested cheerfully, arm still thrown over Cloud's shoulders in a manner that threatened a headlock at the slightest provocation. He got an elbow in the ribs and Cloud straightened up as Zack grunted and lost his hold.

"There are people inside. A lot of them. They need someone to get them out of the rooms they're locked in – but they need someone to get them safely back to the surface and stashed somewhere too."

Leon nodded.

"I'll cover the 'somewhere'. Cait Sith -"

Tifa had a chance to wonder for just a second before the strange little cell phone with its painted face and tin crown levered itself up to the lip of Leon's jacket pocket. It was now wearing a little red cape around its 'shoulders' as well.

"Oy, oy!" It greeted cheerfully.

"You heard that?" Leon asked and disconcertingly, the little cell phone used a tiny arm to salute.

"I've got it covered, boss. Or I will by the time you get above ground. There are still some Shinra troops and it just happens that I'm the only one still alive in the command structure."

"Really?" Reno's face showed emotion beyond carelessness for the first time and he gave the phone a tight look. "That's – handy, ain't it?"

The little phone's 'face' turned toward him.

"Ain't it just?" it agreed cheerfully. "Dangerous world we live in these days, you know?"

"Getting more so all the time, yo," Reno agreed.

"The big shit is at the end of this?" Cid asked, deciding he didn't care what internal politics were being rewritten in front of him. Cloud gave him a nod. Cid took a drag of the cigarette he'd somehow managed to keep in his mouth this entire time. Even if it was flat and burned out. "Always thought I'd be damning Shinra at the end. Not some kinda weird monster/clone/alien/critter/thing."

Leon looked at Cloud and both men held the eye contact for a long moment. Finally Leon nodded.

"That's your job. We'll take care of the people. You take care of the blight."

For just a second, Cloud's lips relaxed and he seemed to exhale without any visible sign of it.

"Yeah."

"I'm with Cloud," Zack stated in a tone that indicated there wouldn't be any arguing. Tifa nodded.

"Me too."

"We will go at least part of the way with you as well," Red's low voice was calm and Vincent just made eye contact when they looked over at him at Red's inclusion of him as a part of 'we'. They really had made a strange team.

"Reno," Cloud's quiet voice started them all and the red head looked at him. Cloud's eyes were level and calm as they looked back.

"I expect you to kill me if I lose myself at the wrong time."

Even though he'd volunteered for it not so long ago, the Turk seemed taken aback and for a minute – he looked young. Then he shouldered his electromag rod and tapped it against himself.

"You're a cold character, Blondie. Yeah. I'll do ya in."

"Yuffie," Cloud held out his hand. "Give me a gil."

"Wha - ? Me? What makes you think I've got – oh, fine! Here!" Yuffie dug it out of a pocket and handed it to him with a slap. "What do you need it for anyway? Drink machine?"

Cloud tossed the coin to Reno.

"Now, it's just business," he told the man and Reno caught the coin with a bitter smile.

"Just business, yo," he agreed.

"What?! Give me back my coin!" Yuffie demanded as Cloud turned back to Zack and gave a nod. Zack shifted to position himself in front of the door and then he looked back to give his friend a smile. Briefly, his eyes met Tifa's but that one brief look said everything.

"Cheap ass looking sword you got there, Spikey." He reached behind his back and pulled out the Fusion Sword he'd been carrying the entire time for his friend instead. Louder than words, it proclaimed his ultimate faith in Cloud's return to them. "Your sister gave me the Buster. I thought you might want something familiar too."

Cloud looked at his sword and for just a moment Tifa realized how he must look to other people when he looked at her. Then he grinned, a brief, flashing moment that was there and gone, and he turned and slung the twisted red sword down the stairs. His gloved hand closed over the Fusion Sword and he turned it in his hand. His shoulders relaxed.

"All right," he nodded, face settling into the calm mask he had used to wear in battle when life had been easier and random battles were the worse of their worries. "Move out."

"That's more like it," Cid commented. And Zack kicked in the door.


	105. Chapter 105: Into the Dark

Chapter 105: Into the Dark

"So where's Sephiroth?" Zack asked it in the brief moment between cutting down a silver haired clone and the next wave of bizarre monsters. Tifa had been wondering the same.

If she were guessing, she'd guess they were at least halfway down the hall. Behind them were, in no order, dissolving clones, monster bodies, fleeing Shinra workers and the rest of their team. In front of them…

In front of them was the end of their world and a whole lot of more of what they'd already waded through to before they got to it.

Cloud shook his head, hair damp against his forehead. They were all sweating and bloody and covered in monster gore. Despite the Cure spells and potions, they were panting and bleeding and bruised. Cloud wasn't using his left arm any more and Zack had taken up a position at his left to cover him there. A small, steady trickle of black was dripping off of Cloud's fingers on that side, mixing with the rest of the gore on the corridor. Zack had a wicked looking cut across his jaw that was leaving red drops on his shoulder plate and Tifa suspected that one or more of her fingers were dislocated and she hadn't had time to snap them back into place so that a Cure would heal them right. Just in front of them Red and Vincent, the latter in some kind of monster form Tifa had never seen before, were giving them a break by fighting as the front line. In the hallway, the amount of trouble that could come at them at the same time was limited and Tifa was grateful.

She grit her teeth and messed with her fingers as Cloud answered Zack's question:

"At the end. Just before Jenova herself probably." He reached out and took Tifa's fingers in his, the warmth and comfort of it helping make up for the pain as he straightened them for her.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to just keep throwing him at us?" Zack asked as Red's burst of energy lit up the hallway and several clones vanished without a chance to even disperse into black mist. "I mean, he channels through the clones, right? So can't she just send him out and give him a new body each time he dies? Why are we fighting second rate clones instead of him, him, him?"

The glow of a Cure spell moved over Tifa's fingers as Cloud cast it and then he shut his eyes and lifted her hand to his lips, rubbing.

"He's mad," Cloud's voice was soft and Vincent's bubbling, tar-thick laughter almost drowned it out. "There's nothing sane left of him. But he's strong. And he hates her." Something in the soft way he said it told Tifa it was a memory he was reliving, not speculation. It answered her question about whether he'd been aware when he'd been carrying Sephiroth inside his head with him. His lips pressed a kiss to her knuckles and he opened his eyes, aqua and beautiful. "He's hard for her to control. She'll save him for last."

"This is no good, man," Zack reached out to give Tifa's hair a gentle tug. Needing the touch but not having the excuse that Cloud and Tifa did. She gave him a smile and leaned a shoulder against his chest while she raised her fingers to rub them over Cloud's cheek.

"We're gonna be burned out just when we need our energy most," Zack commented, shaking his head. Cloud nodded, a single, thoughtful gesture and exhaled, leaning his head a little so Tifa's fingers could thread into his hair. It made her smile and she lightly scratched his head for him. On either side of them chaos continued to reign but for the moment they could breathe.

"All right," Cloud's voice was low. "Let's do this differently. Let's take the vents."

Zack blinked at him and Tifa looked sideways at the nearby air vent in the wall.

"Isn't that what that spider thing came out of earlier?" she asked hesitantly. Cloud made a quiet noise of affirmation.

"So… monsters in enclosed spaces where we can't swing our swords and materia is probably going to backlash on us if we use it?" Zack asked for clarification.

"Hopefully most of the monsters will be outside of the vents in the hallway," Cloud's dry voice didn't, however, disagree with Zack's assessment of the suggestion.

Zack turned his head to look at Red and Vincent in front of them. At the semi-orderly fleeing people and the rest of the team spread out to protect and direct them in the other direction. He scratched at his bottom lip. Then he shrugged and grinned at Cloud.

"I suppose you wanna be in line behind Tifa for the view, huh?"

Tifa hit him, not entirely lightly, as Cloud snorted.

"Of course." He simply gave her an innocent look when she turned on him. "But Tifa has to go last. Her legs are stronger than ours."

"In case anything comes up behind us?" she didn't want to ask it and Cloud didn't want to answer because he simply nodded.

"All right," Zack punched his fist into his other palm. "I'm goin' first. 'Cause I'm bigger than you two and if I get stuck because the vent's too small you're going to have to pull me out."

There was a moment of thoughtful contemplation and Red skid back into their group as something threw him and he managed to get his feet under him. Tifa cast an automatic Cure over his matted fur.

"We're taking a side route. Think you can keep this up here?" Cloud asked the beast and Red snorted. He was ragged looking but his single golden eye was gleaming.

"The mutt fights well," he answered in his rough, rolling voice. "I think we will continue."

Not waiting for an answer or, Tifa thought, the possibility of having to hear last words, his toenails clicked on the slick floor as he charged back into the fight.

"Let's go," Cloud's voice was steady. "The faster we end this, the safer our friends are."

'Friends'. Not 'team'… Despite the situation, Tifa smiled.

They didn't automatically take the first vent. Instead they waited until the hallway curved and the battle moved beyond the curve. If they were sneaking, entering a vent while the enemy was watching probably wasn't the way to do it. They paused, crouched down in front of their chosen vent once they'd taken the grate off and all three of them listened carefully. The sounds of battle echoed strangely down the vent but Tifa at least couldn't hear any scrapes or soft sounds that would hint at anything waiting deeper inside. If Zack or Cloud heard anything, they decided to go anyway, because Zack pushed forward, head and shoulders into the metal opening and then, after a minute more, started forward. Cloud turned to look at Tifa. What was in his eyes made her heart soften and she gave him a weak smile.

"I love you too," she answered and he made a soft sound that might have been a chuckle. Tender, he reached out to stroke her cheek.

"See?" his voice was just as soft as his touch. "I'm not the only one that can read minds now."

Quick, he leaned forward and kissed her, spiking fire through her, and then he turned and fit himself into the vent. She watched the soles of his boots disappear.

"I want him. For always," she whispered the prayer into the hall and then scooted forward to follow her friends into the dark embrace of the vent.

The metal was slick and cold under her knees and a lot more uneven and harsh than movies made it out to be. It made clambering along awkward but it was manageable. She could only imagine how Cloud and Zack, with their wider shoulders and oversized swords were doing though. Looking ahead their forms blocked out any of the light that might have been seeping in through the regularly placed grates most of the time and she relied on the sound of them, the soft slide of fabric, the tap of their boot toes and the scrape of metal to let her keep track of their forward motion. She hoped, if they stopped, Cloud would at least grunt at her or something or she'd be plowing up over the tops of his shoes before she realized it. She realized the metal was a bit slippery under one of her gloves as she moved and her heart twisted when she realized it was the left glove that was following the left side of the vent. She knew what Cloud was doing.

He was putting everything he had left inside himself into this one, last effort. There wouldn't be anything left for him to fall back on when it was done.

She'd just make sure she would be there to catch him at the end.

Nicely enough, Cloud did make a humming sound in front of her each time they stopped so Zack could peer out of grates into rooms or dim hallways beyond. Whenever they did stop Tifa would reach forward and curl her fingers over the backs of Cloud's boots. Just… just for the solid feel of him. The first time she did, he made a soft sound and rocked his foot just a little. Just so that she would know he was aware of her and there. Finally, after a long stop in a line of stops, Zack's whisper floated, tinny and bouncing, back to them.

"Looks like the end of the line. There's a grate ahead and that's it." There was a pause. "Stay put and I'll check it out."

Cloud gave a grunt of agreement and she heard him shifting his sword, carefully aware of her behind him. Another moment more, and Zack made shuffling noises that started to grow faint. Under her palms, Cloud's boots started to shift so she let go, shifting back just a little and wondering if she could find a way to get comfortable for just a minute or two while Zack played scout. Her knees hurt and her arms felt sore.

"I hate tight places," Cloud's whispered comment sounded more as if he was saying it to himself than reminding her. But it did remind her. Both he and Zack hated enclosed places and this had to be so much worse than the cave entrance in Wutai.

"Cloud…" she reached forward for his shoe again and her fingers closed over the toe of it. He was apparently on his back.

"Tifa," his voice was soft but it was obviously a call despite the quiet of it and she made a soft noise herself as she carefully crawled forward. He pulled her down to rest on top of him and wrapped both arms around her, careless of the fact they were both filthy. It was a startlingly intimate position even considering how they'd slept next to each other before and it took her a long moment to get adjusted to the feeling of it before she relaxed entirely into him. He didn't say anything and she didn't either. They'd already said everything they needed to say and they'd never been good with words anyway. This was better, Tifa decided. Her body would remember this better than her ears would remember any words. His fingers trailed lightly along her spine through the fabric of her shirt and her exhales dusted against his throat.

"Maybe crowded places aren't so bad." Cloud's whisper was almost lost in the silence but she still heard it and against him, she smiled.

There was a moment more of peace and then the sounds of fabric on metal.

"You two are pathetic," Zack's hissed whisper announced his return – and his mako enhanced eyesight. Cloud just grunted.

"Come on," Zack's voice was softer. "We're there but you're not gonna like what you see."


	106. Chapter 106: Jenova

_did I not promise, come rain or shine, I would do my darnest to get this thing out every single Sunday, once a week? Well, gentle readers and best beloveds, I'm not about to fall this close to the end. Unfortunately, I've been in the hospital and, while they've assured me it's not life threatening and I'm in the process of healing nicely, I am unable to remain upright for great lengths of time at this point. So... until I figure out how to rig the laptop so I can type laying on my back - or, more likely - heal up enough to sit without giving myself a headache, today's next three chapters will be without the usually replies to all the wonderful reviews I was given by my best beloveds. Don't think they weren't just as wonderful for me, some of you guys are really getting into your stride when it comes to reviewing - I'm getting whole stories and inside, inside jokes and insights and, of course and always the encouragement that feeds a writer's soul. So, today, please take my clingy hugs and what I can give you as thanks and know that it's just as heartfelt - though less articulate - as ever. You guys really do make my day with your reviews. I apologize for the roughness of this - though Peeka-chan did edit, I haven't been able to make her corrections._

Chapter 106: Jenova

They had to take turns looking out through the grate and Tifa almost wished she hadn't taken her shift once her eyes had managed to adjust to the fact that the only light in the room was provided by the widely gaping cracks in the floor that revealed rushing sickly familiar green.

Tifa was starting to hate that color.

The room she was looking at had once apparently been a large meeting room or perhaps another cafeteria or break room. A few randomly placed motivational posters still hung crooked in their broken frames on the scorched and blackened walls. The poster with 'Perseverance' written in bold white under its uplifting picture had blood splashed across it. Any furniture that had once existed was gone and the ceiling had been broken through to reveal bits of the rooms that had once been above. Lifestream, moving with strangely cognizant motions was flowing sluggishly along the cracks that shattered most of the floor. Tifa through she could hear it screaming, almost too high pitched for her ears to hear, not sounding like any scream a living thing would give. Over that though were much more human screams.

There was a line of people pressed up against the far wall, cowering and trying not to watch, or else watching in dim horror. Silver haired men kept them there with violent efficiency and the victims wept and moaned and screamed. But those noises of hopelessness and despair were nothing compared to the one that came from the far end of the room.

Tifa had tried her hardest not to look at what she'd seen from the edges of her vision there but when the screaming started again, her eyes shifted to show her and she cringed, feeling sick.

A huge, discolored… something crouched in the far corner. It was all putrid flesh and arms and legs and tentacles and barbs and feelers. So strongly not real, not natural, that Tifa's eyes tried to avoid focusing on it automatically, giving her only impressions of _wrongness_ and _too much_. Too much of everything. And in the very center of all of that… other… was the one familiar thing. And it made Tifa close her eyes tightly and turn her head. The image was already burned in her though. Because that_… thing_ was wrapping itself around a human body, like some giant spider wrapping up a fly found in its web. A human body that had still moved and writhed… and screamed like a dying animal, long and protracted and horrible and hopeless. And the scream went on and on. Far longer than it should have been able too. Green glowed around that body and that scream. Living, horrible, incandescent green. And the creature grew even more bloated as it absorbed that.

Zack was shaking his head and cursing under his breath in a long running monotone, his eyes pale chips of ice. In the dark and shadows, Cloud's were an aqua wolf's.

"Are we done?" Zack's whisper was raw. Cloud's voice was the contrasting calm, flat answer.

"We're done."

Zack shifted as Tifa moved out of the way and a second later, his boot sent the grate flying across the room. He was out in a second and Tifa came next. Cloud came last and raised the hand his sword wasn't in. The clones in that direction disappeared as lighting more intense than anything Tifa had ever seen pulled down from above to erase them in electric blue. That lightning was still in Cloud's eyes when he turned toward the monster against the far wall.

Jenova let her latest victim fall and the body fell in dissolving pieces as it parted from hers. Glowing green moved under her pulsating skin, highlighting veins that pumped with the stolen energy. At the very center of the swollen monster, Tifa saw the dull reflectionless surface of the green stone Aerith had sacrificed herself to pull free from the Lifestream. Dimly, she was aware of screaming, scrambling sounds behind them as the people that had been lined up as siphons fled in panic now that their captors were gone but she couldn't have turned her eyes to look if she'd wanted to. And she wouldn't have dared anyway. In front of her, the discolored form expanded and contracted. She had a second to realize the air felt thick and clotted and suddenly she was on her knees. Something was squeezing her skull, like a pair of giant hands wrapped completely around it, pressing inward with careless consistency. She thought she might have cried out but she couldn't hear anything. A… something… laughed at her. Laughing inside her head at what it found there. She was nothing to it. Fragile flesh and breakable bone that was already turning to dust. It was ancient. It had traveled through the stars as if they were a field of flowers. It had – It was everything. And she was only still alive but crushing her slowly was more amusing than doing it quickly. The sounds she made were more enjoyable when the death was slow. Tifa squeezed her eyes shut and unnoticed tears of pain leaked form them.

And then she grit her teeth.

Because… this wasn't the first thing to try to tell her she was nothing. It wasn't the first thing to try to tell her she couldn't change anything. That told her to just accept and give up, give in.

Her hand fisted on the floor and she pressed her forehead to the harsh surface. Grounding herself as if she were grinding her heel into loose rock to anchor herself during a fight.

Oh –

Oh no. She'd beaten the slums. She'd beaten the threat and lure of drug dealers and criminal 'families' trying to stake their claim on her business or her family, on pimps, gang lords, slum lords, and common thieves and small time thugs. She'd refused to let her family fall that way. She'd refused to lose them to the bullies there, refused to be bullied. Refused to be beaten down. She'd be damned before she'd let some alien without a real concept of what living was really about to start with tell her she was down and beaten before she'd even had a chance to throw a punch. Instead of fighting it, she focused on the pain and she funneled that down through her into the materia embedded in her glove.

Ultima exploded out from her in green like an ocean wave and it grew and doubled as it rolled. She thought she might have yelled something but she couldn't hear it if she had and when the rolling green struck the creature in front of her, its entire form quivered and shook, limbs flailing wildly for a moment.

Tifa was on her feet in an instant but Zack and Cloud were even faster and they both closed on the creature at the same time from either side. Their swords glowed with a wild blue fire as they bit through ruined flesh and unnatural animation. For the first time, Jenova made a sound. And it was a scream of horror and shock and surprised pain. Something else belled out in that scream and it rocked Tifa back on her heels. It was a call, a tug, a demanding pull –

And Tifa knew it hadn't been meant for anyone in the room.

Sephiroth…

She pivoted on her heels, risking leaving herself exposed to the fact that both Zack and Cloud were more than enough to keep Jenova occupied for a second more and looked toward where she knew the door was. Expecting it to burst open. Cloud had taken care of the few clones in the room and the people that could had long since fled. If Sephiroth had been kept in wait in the previous room, he would come now and all Tifa knew was that – somehow – she was going to have to stop him long enough to let Cloud and Zack finish Jenova.

Except, nothing came through the door. It stayed silent and closed and whatever bell toned call had gone out…

Sephiroth wasn't answering it.

Could he do that? Or was he busy with her friends instead? Zack suddenly went flying past and Tifa abandoned thoughts about the unopening door. She called up a Cure spell and twisted it in her head, the tricky slip she'd learned from working with it so long, setting it to regenerate them, knitting their bodies as they received the damage over a longer period of time.

Aerith had taught her that trick…

With a sound, she dodged the two overlong arms that tried to crush her and drove her fist forward into the center of the monster. Strange, translucent blue fire glowed around her skin the way it had when she'd lashed out at the clone and her blow burst unnatural colored skin and ruptured veins that bled glowing green. The… thing in front of her raged and she felt a suddenly blow, except it was inside her. Inside her head. And it said that, no matter how much damage she did, she'd never manage to kill what was in front of her. It was too much, it was too big, it was too endless. As if it had been a physical blow, it sent her skidding backward, the soles of her shoes burning the friction and speed was so great. And then Cloud gave one of his wordless grunts of dismissal and his sword rang like sheet metal as it sliced through air and alien.

"She's not even whole. We destroyed her arm in del Sol. Remember? One of her clones fell apart before he could get it back to her and it mutated onboard that ship it wrecked. She'll never be what she was and even what she was ended up buried in mako and forgotten."

"Come on, babe," Zack was back from whatever wall he'd been thrown into, boots thumping as he charged forward and threw himself back into the fight. "Can't let Spikey have all the fun!"

It was ridiculous and absolutely insane… and yet, Tifa found a smile on her lips when she charged back into the fight. She called down lightning – why did she and Cloud always use lightning? – and it tore through the beast in front of her and more green exploded away from it in glowing mist. And then the fight was too close to use material and it got dirty and vicious fast. Tifa pulled out every dirty trick she'd ever learned and unexplained blue fire sheathed her as she wove and tore pieces of the monster away with her blows. Jenova regenerated and new limbs grew, each one carrying a different nasty surprise as poison and fire and ice and lightning lurked at the tips of each of them. Sweat poured down into Tifa's eyes and she saw it ran diluted green with the mix of what fell from Jenova as it coated her skin and mixed with her red blood.

"Aerith!" Cloud called it and for a minute, she wondered what he meant. Until she saw his sword strokes were determined and realized…

Aerith's stone.

Jenova's skin tried to close over it but the stone refused to be absorbed entirely and Cloud's strokes had freed its edge. Without a thought, Tifa darted forward. Her fingers caught the edge of the stone and it wasn't cold and colorless anymore. It glowed with strings of electric green just under its glass surface and it burned like ice where her bare skin came into contact with it. It belonged to Aerith. And her friend had given up too much for Tifa to see it lost to the creature that tried to swallow life itself. That tried to swallow everything that her friend held dear. With a cry, she wrapped both hands around it and used that as her center as she swung her leg up in a roundhouse kick that would have taken someone's head off. Blue fire flared and she found herself rolling backward as Jenova screamed in a pitch so high it hurt her ears straight down to the center of her head.

The stone was coated in gore, green and red and purple pulp. And it was in Tifa's hands.

The creature lurched forward, mobile for the first time. Except Cloud and Zack harried it like wolves, slicing away parts of it to be left twitching and helpless behind the greater moving bulk. The monster was still fast and Tifa darted and rolled, trying to be aware of the uneven floor, the cracks of liquid Lifestream, the walls, and her friends and the monster all at the same time, trying to keep from being cornered or falling over or into anything. She held the stone against her chest with one arm as she did so and it burned her and sucked all the heat out of her at the same time.

Even more than she loathed Jenova, Tifa hated the long dead Ancients and all of their life draining tricks.

She still held the stone tightly and she still refused to let Jenova corner her.

Aerith had said the stone would put Jenova to sleep. How? Tifa had no idea and she still liked Cloud's idea of cutting the creature to shreds instead. Jenova's boneless arms swept out for her and she fell backward and rolled. The green stone threatened to slip from her wet fingers and she tightened her hold on it and –

"Teef…"

The sound that came out of Tifa's throat was broken and she barely managed to dodge Jenova's next attack. Cloud was suddenly in the way, his dark form blocking the monster and refusing to be moved. Tifa's fingers scrabbled at the stone. Because… the voice… she'd heard…

"Aerith…?"

It was only a whisper but, somehow, she heard the familiar tinkling laugh of her friend.

"I've been waiting."

"Aerith!" It was her friend's voice and it was… so happy and yet so sad at the same time. It made no sense and Tifa tried to concentrate on the fact she hoped she wasn't going mad and scramble backward to give Cloud back his mobility at the same time.

"I've been waiting for you to come. I knew you would." It was Aerith's faith in the soft voice.

"Where - ? What?" Tifa was back to her single word questions again and Zack caught her arm and dragged her out of the way just as a horrible black fog swept out of Jenova and almost encompassed her. Cloud rolled clear at the last second. Where she had been went sickly colored and started to mutate, concrete melting and running in uneven oozing chunks.

"Teef?" Zack's question was puzzled and Tifa shook her head.

"It's Aerith. Can't you hear her?"

"Ask her how to use the rock," Cloud's voice was strained and his blade swept down. Blue fire rolled from it and sliced into Jenova, setting it screaming it's unnatural wail.

"Aerith?" Tifa asked, clutching the stone.

"The stone, Teef." Aerith's voice was gentle and amused and steadying. "It's Huge Materia. You and Cloud and Zack. I'm here too. Use it like materia. You all need to touch it and call it up. Just like Cloud taught us on the way to the church, remember?"

"Yeah," Tifa felt tears on her cheeks and nodded, vision blurred.

"Hurry," Aerith whispered in her ear. "It's not easy for me to stay here. I just knew I had to wait until you came."

"Aerith… you're… in the stone?" Tifa managed but all her friend's fading voice whispered was:

"Hurry."

"Cloud! Zack! It's materia. We all have to focus and trigger it at the same time. I need your hands." Tifa shut everything else out except what needed, in that moment, to be done. Otherwise something told her, she might fall apart if she let herself realize –

Cloud's sword was suddenly in front of her, planted in the ground like an anchor and he wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her close into his body as he crouched. She realized that there was a roaring sound, as if all the air were being sucked out of the room and that Jenova was starting to glow in front of them. Bad. Oh. So, so bad…

Zack was suddenly there as well and his Buster Sword joined Cloud's Fusion in front of them as a shield. His arm came around both of them and Cloud's voice yelled:

"Now!"


	107. Chapter 107: Interrupted

Chapter 107: Interrupted

Whatever attack Jenova had gathered all that power into itself for, it unleashed it in a searing burst of white light. Tifa turned her face into Cloud's throat. But, even then, her mind still was in the habit enough that it tapped the materia in front of her and mentally 'flipped' the simple latch that let what it was pour into her and let her 'remember'. The same way she 'remembered' fire or ice or lightning when she cast it. Cloud and Zack hadn't had time to touch the materia. But they'd touched her and their 'tap' to the materia funneled through her just the same.

And what swept through her was…

It was nothing she could understand or even try to. It just… was.

It was white and it shimmered like sunlight on water. No. It _was_ the shimmer of sunlight on water. No. It was sunlight. No. More. It was the sun.

No.

More.

It was distant suns.

More.

It was all the suns in the universe.

More.

The edges of her mind started to crumble away, like a lip of sand undermined by the endless ocean waves. It was… too big. Too much. Too… _not her_.

And then she felt a hand close around hers even though she'd forgotten she even had hands. It was slender and warm and…

"Aeris…" the old nickname and she felt the smile, like sunshine. Gentle sunshine. And suddenly the endless suns faded and the universe shrunk and she felt grass and green growing things, actually smelled what a clear, blue sky smelled like, felt the rain on her face and the sun too. She sighed and everything, all the wild, dark, empty places that were too huge, seemed to sigh out of her as well. The green and gold and blue life whispered out of her as well but it was all right. Because they belonged outside of her. Not inside…

She blinked her eyes open and at first it was too dark to see anything. For a second, she wondered if she'd gone blind. And then…

Sunshine…

Cloud.

His golden hair was across part of her vision as he held her and beyond that... she saw the familiar neon green of the Lifestream and…

And Jenova.

Jenova curling and curling and curling in onto itself. At first she thought it was another attack and then she realized… it was imploding. Slowly, inexorably, getting sucked into itself and a smaller and smaller ball. From the way the monster twitched and fought and writhed… it looked painful too. In fact – Tifa shut her eyes and turned her face back into Cloud, feeling sick. She knew what Jenova had done, or at least parts of it and yet, still, there was something horrible and sickening about the way it was being compressed into its own body. There was a horrible sucking sound that went on far too long, liquid and rubbery sounding and suddenly –

Everything stopped. Silence fell.

Tifa peeked an eye open but only saw the edge of Cloud's jaw and more of his sunlight and gold hair. Against her other side, she felt Zack stir. After another long minute, he made a noise and Tifa finally worked up the nerve to look at what the Ancient's magic had done to their old enemy.

A single black stone perhaps the size of Cloud's fists, glinted, obsidian and sharply angled, on the broken floor on the other side of the twin swords. Other than that, the room was empty of everything but the three of them.

"We're… done?" Zack's voice betrayed the same caution that was in Tifa's mind and Cloud gave no answer. Hesitant, Zack stood up and stepped over to the fallen stone. He didn't try to pick it up. Instead he looked back at his two companions. His brows came down.

"Cloud?"

"I – " Cloud's voice was rusty and he straightened, pulling Tifa to her feet, though keeping her tucked against his side. Unconsciously, his left hand fisted and a river of black liquid ran down it to pool on the floor. Almost innocently, voice puzzled, Cloud stated: "I thought I'd be dead."

"What?" Zack had picked up the use of Tifa's favorite word, somehow sensing that their blond companion wasn't just talking about losing the fight against Jenova. But – Tifa got it. She got it and was suddenly furious.

"You jerk!" she hit Cloud and she hit him hard enough to push a grunt out of him. "You mean, all this time, you thought that when Jenova died you would too?! And you let us kill it?!"

"Tifa – " his voice was soft and she shook her head.

"No. No, Cloud. It's not okay. Why didn't you – you should have – it's not fair!"

"Wait – what?" Zack's face focused from one to the other. "What?!"

"I'm a dead body, Zack. Not a test tube clone. I finally figured it out – had it explained – showed to me. Jenova reanimated me – with her cells." Cloud made a noise and it was bitter and calm somehow at the same time. "I thought I was a monster. I thought Hojo made me in a tube. I thought I was a clone of someone else. I'm not. I was just a dead body. Sephiroth killed me years ago and Hojo got a hold of my body the way he got a hold of Zack's. Except he stuffed me full of cells taken from Jenova and she reanimated me. Except I was… faulty. And Zack saved me. And I… forgot. Or made myself forget. But I was still alive because her cells were in me. And because I was a failure those cells were killing me." He made the noise again. "All this time, I've been wishing I wasn't a clone of myself. Now I wish I was."

Zack's eyes were worried. And when he opened his mouth it became apparent, he wasn't in the least worried about what Cloud was, clone or Jenova implant or dead body or otherwise.

"So… if she dies… that kills the cells inside you that are keeping you alive?"

"I… thought so," Cloud admitted.

"Wow," Zack leaned down in one smooth motion and scooped up the rock. "So we've got to find a safe place to put this so you'll stay okay, right?"

Cloud made a noise in his throat and it was impossible to tell if it was laughter and tears or a scream. Tifa turned into him and wrapped her arms around his ribs like iron. She heard as well as felt him inhale as he opened his mouth to speak.

Except someone beat him to it.

"I'll take that."

She hadn't heard the voice in months and even then, she'd only heard it once and briefly. And yet, still, Tifa's heart recognized the voice even before her mind did and she shuddered.

Oil and silk.

"Sephiroth," it was Cloud's voice that growled out the name.

She heard the Fusion Sword swing free and found herself suddenly behind Cloud. And beyond him she saw…

The familiar fall of long silver hair. Snake's eyes like jade. Black leather and impossible grace and feline assurance. Those pale eyes focused on Cloud.

"Good to see you again… Puppet."

Cloud made a low noise and his sword swung up into a guard position. The man in black and silver looked past to focus on Zack.

"I'll take my mother now. She and I have… unfinished business to attend to."

"Oh, I'm going with 'hell no' on this one," Zack answered, pulling his own sword free and holding the black stone against his chest with his free hand.

"What?" Sephiroth's smooth voice refused to be insulted. Or stopped. "Not 'over my dead body'?"

"Uh," Zack was at a loss and decided on straight forward. "No."

"Zack, this is mine." Cloud's voice was so calm and sure that for a second neither Zack nor Tifa thought to protest. And then –

"What?" Tifa managed and Zack shook his head.

"No way. We put him down together."

"Zack," Cloud focused on him. "This is a sword fight, not a monster battle. With our swords the size they are, we'll get in each other's way. You need to keep the stone safe. And Tifa."

"I am _not_ going to be her guardian because you got yourself killed," Zack protested and Tifa had to stop herself before she added her own 'yeah!' to it. Cloud's smile was barely there, a crooked twist at the edge of his lip.

"Didn't ask you to. If I die I want you to shove off. I don't want to watch you falling in love with her from the Lifestream."

"Hey – " Zack protested and Cloud ignored him. He didn't take his eyes from Sephiroth.

"Tifa," his voice was the caress, all warmth and safety and love, that only his voice could – had ever made her name. "You defeated Jenova because you were the only one that could. Aerith found the stone because only she could. Sephiroth is mine. Because he's always been mine."

"You had to stab me in the back last time," Sephiroth's voice was amused. Cloud's response was calm.

"You still ended up dead with some pulply alien leading you around on a leash."

For just a second, pale fire flared in Sephiroth's eyes and then he was moving so fast that Tifa couldn't even keep track of him anymore. Cloud moved just as fast.

"Oh shit," Zack grabbed Tifa's arm and dragged her back with him toward the nearest wall as the two combatants crashed together. His eyes were huge. "I didn't know Cloud could move that fast."

"Maybe he couldn't. Maybe he's been waiting." She bit her lip and thought… 'maybe I was wrong and Cloud wasn't saving the last of his energy for Jenova. Maybe he's been waiting for Sephiroth all along.'

Cloud had never mentioned being able to sense Jenova. But he'd been consistently accurate on knowing when Sephiroth was nearby.


	108. Chapter 108: Collapse

Chapter 108: Collapse

Cloud and Sephiroth crashed together in a whirl of moving steel, of silver and gold, of sunlight and moonlight and shadows. Again, blue fire flared along the metal of the Fusion Sword.

"Spirit energy," Zack named it for Tifa even though she wasn't aware she'd asked. One edge of his mobile mouth lifted but his eyes stayed worried and locked on the two fighting in the center of the cracked and ruined room. "I – " he shook his head. "I can barely remember someone telling me about it once. Said that only the best SOLDIER ever channeled it. Materia comes from an outside source. Spirit energy comes from inside." His arm slipped around her and he pulled her further away from the fight. "You look pretty hot sheathed in it."

She made a noise at his teasing and together they edged toward the door. There wasn't a chance that they were going to leave Cloud. It just seemed sensible to remove any distractions Sephiroth might want to try to use them as from range. Which meant watching from the door. And making sure, if reinforcements came, they were on the right side. The hallway beyond was empty and hooked abruptly to the right. Tifa stationed herself so she could keep an eye on Cloud and the curve in the hall. But she quickly forgot about the curve.

The fight was moving at a speed that she had a hard time keeping up with but she did see that Cloud wasn't doing well. He was bleeding – more than he had been before and his left arm was hanging useless. She bit back making a sound as Sephiroth's sword cut through him, almost impaling him before Cloud stumbled back and escaped the danger. His blood splashed down though and his boots almost slipped before he spun over the dangerous crack that offered a fall into Lifestream green.

Against her chest, Tifa felt her heart burn and throb.

No… her eyes went huge and she looked down to realize that she was still holding Aerith's stone against her chest with one of her hands. As she watched the threads of green twined upward under its glass surface and the stone seemed to throb against her again.

"Aerith?" she whispered and in answer she heard a soft sigh. The stone throbbed again and Cloud twisted away from Sephiroth's blow and stepped in close to steal the advantage of his sword's long reach from the silver haired man.

"Put the stone back in the Lifestream,"Aerith's voice was a whisper in her ears. "It's time to let me go..."

"No," Tifa protested it and clutched the pulsing, burning stone closer to her chest even though it burned her fingers. "No," she repeated.

"Teef…" her friend's voice was gentle. "This is the way it's always supposed to have been. I can help Cloud. I want to. He's always done so much for me. But you have to let me. You have to let the stone go."

"Aeris…" Tifa felt tears clogging her throat and they threatened to cloud her vision so that she couldn't watch the fight going on in front of her. Zack made a hissing noise between his teeth and tensed next to her and she knew Cloud had just taken another blow.

"You asked if I could fix him," Aerith's voice was against her ear as if her friend stood just behind her. "And I said I couldn't. I just didn't realize, he's not broken. Not anymore. He's mended in his own way. His body just needs to stop fighting that. He was never dead. Jenova lied to him. He was the only body that was alive they've ever injected the cells into. His body adapted but it wouldn't let her rewrite him. He's whole, Teef. He's whole." The pleasure of being able to say it overflowed the Cetra's words. "His body just needs to stop fighting what its done to survive. Let the stone go. Let me go…"

"I won't choose between the two of you," Tifa shook her head and felt liquid fall from her eyes. She also felt her friend smile.

"No," Aerith agreed. "Because I was never a choice to save."

"Aerith – " Tifa choked it as Zack gave a sympathetic grunt next to her. She wondered how he was missing her conversation and decided it was like Cloud's fight with the dragon on the island in the middle of the silent lake. The Ancients seemed to have a thing about privacy. Wiping at her eyes with the backs of her hands, Tifa pulled in a deep breathe and then, before she could hesitate, she darted forward to the nearest crack large enough to fit the stone and let it drop in. The thick, glowing green swallowed it without a single ripple.

Tifa felt something inside her heart collapse.

And then Zack was pulling her backward. She caught a glimpse of Cloud, pinned to the wall, impaled on Sephiroth's blade and yet somehow, reaching up as if he would actually pull it out of himself. Of Zack's worried eyes. Aerith's face, smiling and content, seemed to be a ghost in front of her for a moment. And then the Lifestream started to… leak upward from the cracks.

At first Tifa thought it was her eyes watering and blurring everything. But no, when she squinted and rubbed the tears away, the green was moving in long, slender ribbons along the floor. Like low lying fog or grass snakes it wove its way forward. Forward to where Cloud had somehow managed to jerk Sephiroth's sword out of him and drive the man back with a low swing of the Fusion Sword. Sephiroth settled and where he did, the green split and gave him wide berth. But it wrapped itself around Cloud as he tried to pull himself to his knees, winding like bands of living light around his legs and the wrist that he had propped against the ground to brace himself. Sephiroth charged forward with a sound of distain –

And suddenly froze. Next to her, Tifa felt Zack fall into the same single caught second. Her own body stopped. She even felt the beat in her chest pause. Cloud however was mobile still and he caught one look at the glowing green wrapping around him and jerked upward with a strength that only came from suppressed terror. And then… Tifa watched him pause… as if he were hearing a voice… and while he listened, unnoticed, the gentle green crept upward and wove around his left arm like fingers or strands of long hair. For an instant, Tifa thought she heard Aerith's sigh of contentment…

And then the green was gone. Sephiroth was plunging forward. Tifa's heart skipped and started again. Next to her she felt Zack inhale.

Cloud rolled to the side to escape Sephiroth's blade and when he came up he had both hands around the hilt of the Fushion Sword.

Tifa covered her mouth with both of her hands and couldn't decide whether she should laugh or burst into tears.

"Go Spikey!" Zack cheered it as Cloud, still bleeding, still covered in the sweat and gore from Jenova and all the battles that had led to this point, moved forward aggressively. Sephiroth's movements were still fluid and calm however as he blocked Cloud's more focused blows. He did take steps back however from the onslaught and Tifa had just a second to voice her:

"Oh… crap…"

As Sephiroth's free hand moved in a familiar gesture. Materia triggered.

And the building started to collapse.

"Shit," Zack grabbed her hand and Tifa had to repress the urge to shout something. Sephiroth couldn't even fight on his own? He had to throw a _building_ at Cloud?!

The silver haired man did something and the ceiling above him blew upward. Like a rocket he shot skyward. Leaping, Cloud followed. Zack dragged Tifa out of the doorway by her hand.

"He has to drop a building now?!" Zack voiced Tifa's previous thought, sounding annoyed and again, she found herself with a smile. Strong, she twined her fingers through his as they ran.

It was just occurring to her that there might still be people trapped in rooms and maybe they should check, when Leon came barreling around the hallway coming toward them. He pulled to a stop when he saw them and then turned and with a gesture to follow over his shoulder, headed back the way he'd just come.

"Think he missed us?" Zack teased as they pounded along and Tifa made a noise. Knowing that, the worse a situation got, the funnier Zack tended to get. Which meant he was really, really worried at the moment.

This wasn't a story. Just because they'd defeated the bad guy didn't mean they got to walk off into the sunset. Or even live long enough to appreciate it for that matter. Under her feet, the ground was starting to pitch and crack and chunks of the ceiling were starting to fall. Small chunks but Tifa didn't even pretend the small chunks wouldn't lead to larger ones shortly. She darted into the stairwell with Zack – funny how it had seemed to be such a longer hall when they'd been fighting their way inch by inch through monsters through it before – and started up the stairs. She knew, with her head, that her body was exhausted and shouldn't be able to move with anything like speed at all after all they'd been through – but adrenaline was a wonderful thing, especially when it was linked with panic and she hardly noticed the stairs as they pounded up them.

The higher they climbed the more the world tried to shift sideways and soon Tifa was hanging on the railing as much to pull herself upward as to keep from falling over its edge. Even with the adrenaline and the panic the stairs seemed to go up forever. Tifa focused on Marlene and Denzel because it was the only safe place for her mind to focus. She'd promised them… she'd make it back. Or at least try her best to…

Hands suddenly caught at her and she lifted her eyes to see…

Barret and Yuffie, Barret lending the strength while Yuffie lent the enthusiasm to pulling her out of the crumbling stair well. She had time to gasp their names. To see Red and Vincent and Leon and Zack and then everyone was running again and the ground wouldn't stay flat and still under their feet, trying to cave downward as they ran across it. The building rained down on them in huge pieces. Tifa choked on dust and smoke and stumbled as she remembered the last time she'd run through an exploding building what felt like so many lifetimes ago. Barret's hand on her arm kept her upright and together they sprinted toward the opening in the wall that had probably once been a bank of glass doors.

Tifa burst through the opening and into the night beyond, stumbling and gasping and shaking as the last of her energy burned away. She didn't get to stop there though and hands pulled her further away from the building. She saw Cid and Reno and a darkly bearded slender man she'd never seen before and then the ground was collapsing around the building as well because they were still on the Plate and the building had gone all the way down through it to the slums below. Tifa raised her face and looked upward, gasping the name of what she was looking for.

"Cloud – "

"There!" Zack had apparently been watching as well, because he yelled it and pointed. On the rooftops nearby, silver flashed and she caught a brief glimpse of sunlight against the murky Midgar atmosphere. Blindly, Tifa turned to the group trying to tear her away and take her somewhere safer.

"Vincent!" She reached out. "I need your wings. Please."

"Tifa – " Leon's voice but she shook her head and kept her arms out.

"I'm so sick of not knowing. Please. I need to see. Just… I just need to see."

Vincent stepped forward and whether he'd already been in his winged form or just taken it for her, she didn't know, but he was winged and clawed and yellow beast eyed now. His claw marks on her hip from before hadn't healed with the Cure spells she'd had cast over her but she didn't hesitate to step forward and wrap her arms around his shoulders again. She met his glowing eyes.

"I need Cloud," she told whatever was in there watching her. "Please."

His golden claw closed around her hip again but it didn't dig into her skin this time.

"Wait!"

Zack pushed past the others and stepped in.

"I'm going too. You carried Red and Aerith's mom. You can handle me and Tifa."

Vincent made a sound, like a cat clearing fur from its throat and Tifa saw that, in this form, his teeth were all sharp and pointed. But he snaked his other arm around Zack's waist and Tifa felt his muscles knot under her. With a push that left her stomach behind, they were air born. She slit her eyes against the cold rush of wind.

And she prayed.


	109. Chapter 109: Final

_oh my best beloveds and gentle readers - it looks like we've finally reached the end of this particular journey together. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed it. it's one thing to write stories for yourself but when you add other people that are enjoying them as well it's like playing with your favorite toys - and sharing them with all your favorite people. I am much recovered from the build up of spinal fluid that was causing problems last week - I can actually sit down for instance - and thank you, thank you, thank you all for both being so understanding and for all the sympathy and well wishes. Those and the continuing reviews really gave me something to concentrate on. I'm going to miss those reviews but even more I'm going to miss the personalities and thoughts that went behind them. I intend to continue writing (author alert me people!) but we've really made this story something special and it's going to be odd and a little lonely not seeing notices during the week from it. That said, I am really excited that we've actually reached the end. It's been a wild and woolly ride, which was a lot of fun to go on together. We've really managed to accomplish a lot and the story came out so much deeper and more intricate than I'd intended when I started. We've really made ourselves a bit of a happy little family and we've had fun playing. The reviews have really pointed out a lot to me that I wouldn't have noticed or thought of on my own as well as sharing your personalities with me. I've had such a blast playing with you guys. So - without further ado - _

_**foxthefox - **I didn't get to welcome you to the party last week. So welcome now. It's always a special happy moment when one of my readers turns into a reviewer. Glad to hear you've been enjoying the ride. **fairheartstrife** - I try to never let Real Life get in the way of my fantasy world - lol. But I'll happily take those hugs and you're right, Tifa could probably use some too. We girls have got to stick together. I should mention that the cast will be hanging around after the show for signings and photos ;) Just try not to maul any of them... too badly. **mc** - good point on the black materia's weight. Good thing Zack is SOLDIER, eh? or is he...? hopefully I will answer all your questions upcoming (cause if not, I've done something wrong). And wow - I never heard the RPG vs. reading psychology before but I really like that. Yeah, I think we've all surrendered ourselves just a little to the story, but that's part of the relief, isn't it? maybe that's why sometimes it's easier to deal with things in a fantasy world than in the real one. I know I certanly haven't been given much say in where the story goes - lol. But that's part of the joy of writing for me too. It's a bit of a Nantucket Sleigh Ride for all of us, eh? **OCV** - I truly do love reading your reviews as you read each chapter. I'm going to miss 'sitting' behind your shoulder and hearing your thoughts each week. I can't resist calling Cloud Tifa's 'sunshine'. Just like Homer's 'wine dark sea' some things just have to be repeated. Zack - well, he's always going to be the one to crack the jokes. No matter who he is. **cherrypudding** - one wild ride, right? I'm still worried I put too much in too fast and too close together. It just seemed like everything hit at the same time. I'm glad it's a 'hang on tight' ride though and yeah, I just had to have Cloud make the 'shove off if I die' comment. **demonegg** - for the proofreading and reassurance with the last couple of chapters I thank you. And if the chapters are getting better the closer to the end we get, than I feel like I'm doing something right. If you guys have trusted me to drag you through the emotional wringer for so long, the least I can do is try to make the emotions we end on satisfying ones. **dis** - what can I say? Aerith is hard to get rid of. ;) and hey.... would I leave you guys without an epic Cloud/Seph fight? What kind of FF writer would I be? There won't be a sequel/prequel/next book but I hope to both wrap things up well enough to make that all right and to leave the feeling off a continuing life beyond what I've written for them. We'll see if I do it well. **akuma** - hugs I will be happy with. I finally, FINALLY, after all the half truths and out right lies, gave up Cloud's history. And you only had to wait a little over a hundred chapters for it. Of course, I only found out about it myself right about there in the writing too so we're even but yeah - Cloud's past, finally revealed. I was pretty pleased and surprised with how it came out. i enjoyed the chance to explore what makes a man who he is. Glad you liked. **vanillia** - thank you. I think that's the biggest compliment I've ever gotten on my writing. That it's made you feel empowered and 'yeah' - I've done more than just entertain, I've done good. And I hadn't thought of it that way but you're right, you know. Zack is kind of like a different version of Tifa. And speaking of Zack... more on him in these last few chapters. Aerith... I really was going to have her survive, just 'changed' due to her Lifestream experience. She wouldn't have it though. I found out she was leaving at the same time Tifa did, as I was writing the part and afterward I just had to sit back and go... 'huh'. It seems like it was always her destiny. and - no 'plof' but hopefully 'bang!' lol **:'D** - I'm getting much better. Thanks for the concern - and for the weekly reviews. ** luna** - I can't stand spiders either. Must be why they seem to make it into my stories so much - lol. Vivid? I like vivid. And Cloud telling Zack to shove off if he died seemed pretty popular. It made me laugh when it popped out while I was writing. Guess the guy is over his 'she's not for me' attitude. 'Bout time. **caledon** - I'm glad I could still get them out. It would have hurt to have gotten so close to the end with a perfect record and have it fall through just at the end. And I'm going to feel a bit sad and lonely too when this story ends. it's been such a regular part of my life for so long and getting the reviews has really brightened my weeks. But I'm also going to feel pretty darned accomplished that I finished this and kept my promise (sure, it's not a promise to come and save you when you're in a pinch but it was an important promise to me ;) I hope the last chapters are everything you need them to be. **valentine'sninja** - I'm so glad you're enjoying. Jenova went a bit darker on me than I'd originally intended but it seemed to work and I'm glad she had the right effect. Cloud is - he's learning what makes him really him. Slowly... but surely. We'll let Tifa keep working with him on that. **Iskra** - you and your little plushies really know how to make my day. I will miss hearing their antics. Make sure they stop by FTOG and whatever else I write regularly. I especially enjoy FF7 Cloud. And wo0t! how could our three be our three and not have comebacks and one liners? It's a part of their intrinsic makeup I suspect. and thank you. I'm touched that Aerith's leaving caught you like that. It is a hard situation to let someone go as opposed to losing them suddenly. Of course, she IS Aerith too so... **calenlass** - I've got a cloti weakness. and frankly, after all I've put them through, these two deserve all the mush they can get. there you go, no more cliff hangers. Just an 'what comes next'. **Tae - **I hope this lets you escape for a little while and makes you happy. And - I will never get tired of your reviews. you always put in specifics of what you enjoyed and you know how that makes all the difference. I had more fun writing Yuffie writing I expected and yeah, lol, Zack just wants someone to snuggle too. How could I resist Cloud and Tifa and their 'words aren't the only way' though, right? **ladywisdom **- thank you, I was trying to make jenova truly alien in the purest sense of the word. and - I like that thought about Tifa being the opposite of jenova. never thought of that but when you say it it does make sense. I'm going to miss the insight you always give when you peer into TWT. **zi-ling** - though you haven't been able to write lately you've always been faithful and a pleasure to read. and of course, my ever beloved **Peeka-chan** who's been with me from the start and refused to let my shoddy commas run amuck. I've adored getting your corrections each week because you've added so many comments and reactions to them. You are a bestest beta and if I had the money I would hire you so you never had to do anything but tell me I needed to cut back on the fragment sentences and otherwise enjoy a life of leisure at a beach house somewhere._

_In final notes - sparkling cider to the **peanut gallery** that have bonded together for this last hurrah. And ObsessiveCompulsiveValkyrie has mentioned setting up **a forum/discussion group** for our TWT so the party doesn't have to stop just yet. I'm not sure how those work but I'm sure she'll have a link on her profile page for it. Thank you again to everyone that's come on this ride and to everyone that's going to find themselves going on this ride in the future. It's been a blast and I don't intend to disappear off the face of the earth any time soon either. Now - let's get this party started!  
_

Chapter 109: Final

Midgar was falling apart. For years it had sucked Lifestream up through its multitude of reactors and, in doing so, it had created a vacuum underneath it. When the reactors stopped, when Jenova did whatever it had done to bring the Lifestream to the surface, the thin crust of earth that had separated glowing green below from the tainted black sky above weakened to the breaking point. Midgar was slowly breaking and sinking into a bubbling lake of Lifestream. Below her, in the dark and fires, Tifa could see the once great buildings of the city slowly collapsing inward, could see the springs of green that broke upward through the blackened earth and began to swallow everything. She felt tears in her eyes again and though it might be for the death of the city she'd lived her whole life in. Midgar had been home and for good or bad, it had been hers. And she had been its.

Vincent swept above the slowly dying city and Tifa clung to him and watched through her tears.

The world dipped to the side as Vincent banked and Tifa saw what he was angling toward. Amid the ruins of a fallen Sector Seven, steel clashed amid the cracks of green that were opening in the darkness. Metal ruins and lost lives fell into the glowing webwork and over and between them, Cloud and Sephiroth battled. Picking a spot of stability in the shifting landscape, Vincent set them down nearby and folded his wings to stand behind them.

Cloud was a bloody mess. And yet, watching him, Tifa had never seen him moving with more surety or grace. Each pivot and blow flowed directly into another and his footing on the shifting surface was steady. He fought two-handed, Fusion Sword divided in two flashes of white light. Sephiroth seemed unhurt and his movements were graceful too. Except… his eyes were narrowed in confusion and he seemed to be focused entirely on blocking Cloud's blows as the shorter man drove him backward. Tifa pressed her fingertips to her lips and stood froze, not daring move or make a sound. She felt Zack's hand settle on her shoulder and they waited.

This really was Cloud's fight and all they could do was be present for it.

The excess of the fight between the two of them was done. There was no more leaping from building to building or rushes of materia. The blond warrior and the silver haired killer kept close to each other and the result was vicious. Under their feet, Lifestream hissed and bubbled between growing cracks but the boots that landed above that fell solid. Tifa narrowed her eyes, trying to track the movements through the speed of both of the opponents as they spun and slashed and blocked and sliced. Sephiroth's voice was low as it taunted.

"I will keep you, when Mother's power is mine. Keep you like the puppet that you are."

Cloud's eyes were electric as he swung in, sending Sephiroth pivoting backward but it wasn't a sloppy move or one that was in response to the taunt. He snorted.

"My future is my own." Maybe she imagined it. Maybe she didn't. But for just a split second she thought she saw the glint of Cloud's blue eyes as they focused on her. A slight change in his footing was the only warning he gave as he added: "And yours is over."

Cloud's main sword swung suddenly over his head in a circle and as it did the glow of blue fire washed over it. Except the blue didn't stop at the sword. The light consumed him entirely and his hair and clothing moved in it as if it were a blast of wind. Without a sound, he charged forward and golden light, like liquid sunlight, wove in through the blue fire. He seemed to blur and Tifa couldn't keep track of where he was anymore. She wasn't the only one that seemed to have the problem. Sephiroth's face shifted from side to side in sudden realization and then Cloud was there.

And gone.

And there again.

And gone.

The blond warrior moved so fast he seemed to be coming at Sephiroth from different sides in almost the same blink. No blood fountained, Sephiroth made no noise that Tifa could hear, no marks appeared on him even though his body jerked in time with Cloud's blades. And then Cloud was directly in front of him and the fire was so bright it reminded Tifa of the color of his eyes. For that moment, Sephiroth and Cloud were face to face. Time seemed to freeze and Tifa thought, perhaps, the world held its breath the same way she did. Then Cloud swung one last time and it was over.

Black mist rose from the silver horror that had been a nightmare for more years than Tifa had been aware of. He went to his knees and the impossibly long sword seemed to dissipate before it even dropped from his hand to hit the uneven ground. He raised a face that was already skull hollow eyes and black vanishing skin to look at the blond man that stood expressionless over him. One gloved hand, fingertips bleeding black mist lifted and pointed.

To where Zack and Tifa stood. The voice was still silk and oil and too smooth to hold expression.

"Look closely… Cloud. They should be together. You know it. No matter how quiet you stay, seeing them that way kills you inside every time someone mentions it. Look. Because each time you die inside, you make more room for me."

Slow, as if he didn't want to, Cloud's head turned and Tifa saw the glint of one of his blue eyes over his shoulder.

"Cloud…" she held out her arms for him.

And then Sephiroth moved. He pushed off from his knee suddenly and his body impacted with Cloud's. Except – as the body impacted, it changed to black mist. A black mist that billowed and swirled... and disappeared down Cloud's throat and nose. Cloud's body jerked so hard he lost his footing and he fell backward with a sound. The Fusion Sword clashed loudly with the broken ground as it dropped from his limp hands.

"Cloud!" both she and Zack yelled it and broke forward at the same time as well.

Tifa reached him first and went to her knees, pulling his torso into her arms. His skin was cold under her fingers instead of the welcoming warmth she was so used to. His eyes were shut and his face was lax. Barely, his chest rose and fell. In the sickly green light and shadows, his skin looked like wax.

"You don't believe that," she lowered her head, kissed his lips, murmuring against him. She couldn't lose him now. Not so close to the end. Not to this… "You don't. You know better. You do, you do."

"Come on, buddy," Zack had Cloud's hand in his and he'd pulled off the glove to chaff the other man's hand between both of his. He knelt protectively over both of his companions. "You're not going to let somebody with some weird Oedipus complex define what's a healthy relationship for you, are ya? I mean, he probably spends more time on his hair than Tifa does."

"Hey," Tifa inserted her reminder that she was right there. She cradled Cloud's back against her chest and wrapped her arms around him, the back of his head nestled against her collarbone and the curve of her shoulder. Nuzzling, she rubbed her chin against his temple. "Doubt yourself, but never doubt me," she whispered against his skin. "Not me, Chochobo Head. You're the only one for me. And you know it." She kissed his pale skin. "Tell Sephiroth to go to hell and come back. Come home now, Cloud. Come home."

Around them, the ground shifted dangerously and Tifa raised her face to look around in worry. Vincent was hovering far to the side and she wondered if he was strong enough to carry all three of them. Otherwise they needed to start moving now if they were going to get out of here before it turned into a Lifestream sinkhole. She was not going to lose. Not now.

Not Cloud.

Then… then she was going to find a bed and crawl into it with Cloud and not move for a week or so. She bent her head and whispered as much against his ear.

In her arms he jerked suddenly, making a grunting sound. A familiar dark mist rose and it seemed to leak out of his very skin. In the sickly light, it hovered over the blond warrior and Tifa thought she saw tendrils starting to reach down toward him again. Just as she was in the process of moving her shoulder in the way though, Cloud made another sound. It was a grunt of amusement from somewhere deep in his chest. The mist wavered... and then dissipated as if it couldn't hold itself together anymore. A breeze blew over the cracked ground and it smelled like smoke and mako and Midgar. But that was all. Tifa, without meaning to, felt herself relax. Cloud made a third noise and black liquid wept from his closed eyes and his ears and vanished before it hit the ground. He coughed and then turned his head to the side and sneezed. Eyes the color of blue flame opened and the first thing they focused on was her. For a long moment, it was everything. Then his lips relaxed into a quiet smile.

"I think I'd better marry you," he told her softly.

A sound that might have been laughter or tears or both caught in her throat and she awkwardly threw herself against his chest, their positions shifting to accommodate. She knotted her arms like iron around him and dug her nails in, determined to never let go, ever again. A second later, Zack made himself a part of the hug too, sandwiching her between the two males and threatening to press all the air out of her lungs with the force of it. Cloud made a muffled noise that might… just might… have been laughter. In that moment - the world was perfect.

And then the earth split under them.

Cloud's arms tightened around her as the world lurched and Tifa felt everything sliding to the side as a huge rumble drowned out all the other sounds. She couldn't see anything but quick glimpses past Cloud's shoulder and her hair. She saw green though. Horrible, horrible glowing green. And then Zack made a noise and Tifa felt herself thrown. No, her and Cloud were both thrown. She felt the impact but Cloud cushioned her with his own body and she turned her head in desperation.

They were on a level piece of ground. But just next to them it had cracked away and fallen. She had a second, a glimpse – she saw Zack's rueful, apologetic smile, crooked on his lips…

And then he was gone. And all that was left was a hole full of newly risen Lifestream where he had been.

"Zack!" She lurched forward for him at the same time Cloud did. But Zack was gone. The Lifestream swirled in its hissing, thickly liquid way, less waves and more tentative explorations upward at the edges of the sinkhole. Vincent landed next to them.

"We must go. There is very little of Midgar left."

Cloud gave a grunt as he pulled himself upright, getting a knee under himself first and then shifting to his feet. He pulled Tifa up with him, against his side, even though she was still staring at the Lifestream and hating it, hating it, hating it with an ever growing passion.

It was the planet's life. So what did it care for something so small and passing as the lives of her friends that had given up so much to free it?

At the moment, she'd gladly have seen it all reduced and used to power electric blankets and TVs.

"Take her," Cloud gently pushed her forward into Vincent's arms. "Get her out of here. I'm trusting you, Vincent."

"Wait… what?" Tifa jerked away from Vincent's hands as they started to close around her. "Cloud – what?!"

He took a step back and it put him too close to the edge of the sinkhole. His eyes were calm when they met hers.

"Go on. I'll catch up."

"What?" she was so tired of saying that word. "No! Just – no." She stamped her foot for emphasis even if it was a young move. "I'm done leaving."

"Tifa…" the way he said her name was everything she loved… and everything she feared at the same time. Because… it was so sad… "I can't leave Zack down there." His voice was raw as he stood on the edge of the opening that dropped down into the Lifestream. "It'll tear him apart inside."

She saw the terror he was trying to hide in his eyes then. Of all of them, he knew what waited in that glowing liquid. And it terrified him. But – he was going anyway. Zack needed him.

"I'm coming too." She stepped forward toward him and he shifted against that, the heels of his boots knocking small rocks and dirt down into the hole behind him. He shook his head.

It made her smile.

"Yes. I am. You know I am."

He shook his head again but his eyes were hungry and desperate and on her and she knew, if she'd learned anything from him, that he was denying himself. For her.

"Marlene and Denzel – " he hit her with the only protest, the only reason, he knew would stop her. Leaving them behind. Her lips moved again and they were impossibly sad.

"I know," she whispered and her steps didn't falter. "But they'll understand."

"Tifa…" his voice was a warning and then she was to him, winding her arms around him and his were closing around her despite himself, in denial of what his head was telling him. His eyes were endless blue and fell backward into that depth forever.

"They'll understand," she told him softly, lifting her hands to cup his face in her calloused palms. "They'll understand because you're family."

Something in his eyes shattered like crystal and his head dipped. His mouth found hers and the heat was liquid and overwhelming. She barely felt it when he took that single step backward and together the two of them fell into the swallowing green of the planet below.


	110. Chapter 110: Who I Am

Chapter 110: Who I Am

Everything was… black. Not the black of darkness but the absolute black of sightlessness. She was blind and when she reached out there was nothing to feel. No up, no down. She might have been floating but there wasn't even any feeling of that. Nothing. There was just nothing.

Her head was full of nothing as well. She realized it when she tried to think of how she'd ended up where she was. And then… who she was in the first place. Her mind gave her back… nothing…

Nothing…

She felt the panic start to move in and her hands reached out in desperation. And… where there had been nothing… there was…

Warmth…

She reached for it instinctively and it began to coalesce. Warmth… solid assurance… solid… her fingers closed on cloth, felt a body beneath. Her ears heard their first sound. A sigh. She drifted closer and felt fingers and then arms tangling around her, pulling her in.

She should panic. She knew that. Except… she knew this warmth. A smell reached her, a whisper she could barely pick out of the nothing. Except… it was storm winds and lightning and mako and she knew that –

"Cloud…."

She found him with her arms, with her body and buried herself against and around him. He made a sound, low in his throat, and it was a rumbling hum. His mouth found hers and there was nothing polite or hesitant about it. She knew his taste…

"Cloud…" her heart whispered it and she heard her own name whispered back to her. For the first time, she remembered who she was.

"Tifa…"

For a long time, she was only aware of him. Them. And then – finally…

"Where are we?"

"Lifestream," his voice provided it and as he did, the memories came as well. She felt the eyes she saw nothing with go wide.

"Zack…" she whispered and felt him nod. His arms didn't loosen around her though. Other bits of memory crept in and she processed them in the safety of his arms. Remembered, somewhere through them, that some of them might not be hers and she tried to test each memory as it came. Except… they all felt like they belonged to her.

"Cloud," she whispered his name and felt his arms tighten.

"This isn't what I… expected," he admitted and she nodded against him.

It reminded her of the temple. A bit. Foggy on what it was or where it was. Just… drifting and barely there. Cloud shifted against her, head tipping. She raised her face to his even though she couldn't see.

"Footsteps," he announced calmly and Tifa tried not to breath – and then realized she hadn't been to start with – and concentrated on trying to hear what Cloud did instead of on the fact she'd just realized she couldn't feel her own heartbeat. After a long moment, she heard them too. They were regular and light and unhurried and seemed to be coming from a very long way away. After another indeterminate moment of listening she frowned.

"Aerith?"

Cloud listened a moment longer and than made another soft sound that was probably agreement. Together, drifting in nothing, they waited for the steps to reach them. As they waited, Tifa noticed a growing light because she could see the rough strands of Cloud's hair where they hung against the side of her face first and then the weave of his shirt. By the time the footsteps had reached them, she could see him clearly in the dim light. He was watching her as well and when she blinked at him, the edges of his lips curved for her. Then he turned his head and looked. Tifa followed his gaze and saw –

Nothing…

"Aerith?" she asked softly and was rewarded with her friend's soft rippling laughter. But there was nothing to see.

"You two really do make a cute couple," her friend's voice told them, smiles and sunlight.

"Aerith – I – "

"Don't, Tifa," Aerith's voice was still warmth and smiles. "This is right. And besides, you didn't come here for me, did you?"

"Zack," Cloud's voice was steady and soft. "We came to get Zack back."

"Which one?" she asked and it was sweet and yet the question was insane. Cloud didn't hesitate.

"Ours."

"Not your Zack? Don't you want to at least talk to him one last time? Because he's here too."

She felt Cloud hesitate then, felt him twitch in her arms. His voice when he answered was rougher, more raw… but it was sure.

"I can't have the past and the present. That's what you told me earlier, wasn't it? That I had to chose. All right. Give me back our Zack. My Zack… my Zack already knows everything I need to tell him."

Tifa felt her friend's smile even if she couldn't see it.

"He does," she agreed. And then her presence softened. For a moment the light softened as well and then it concentrated and Tifa, still safely in Cloud's arms, saw Zack. And… Zack?

There were two of him and they sat side by side, legs crossed in front of themselves, hunched forward with their arms folded over their knees, ignoring or unaware of the one right next to them. Tifa found that her feet were on solid ground even if she couldn't see it. Aerith's voice came.

"He split himself. And I can't put him back together because I'm part of the problem."

Tifa drew carefully away from Cloud and he followed her as she walked over to kneel down in front of the two Zacks. She looked at both of them and neither one raised their heads or acknowledged her presence. They… looked exactly alike, down to the wounds from the battles they'd just fought. She took a breath and softly asked:

"Zack?"

For a minute neither one of them moved. And then both of them raised their faces to look at her.

"Teef?" the one on her right asked. The one on her left asked:

"Who?"

She looked from one to the other and they both looked expectantly back at her. Cloud went down on a knee next to her and they both focused on him.

"Cloud." They said his name in unison, though the one on the left looked puzzled while the one on the right smiled and relaxed. Cloud looked at both of them, the one eager and grinning, the other withdrawn and cautious. He was quiet for a long minute, head down, brows together. Finally, he raised his head and looked at both of them.

"You know who I am?"

"Cloud," they both answered and even the one on the left was more sure of his answer this time.

"And her?" Cloud touched a strand of Tifa's hair where it hung against her bare arm.

"Tifa…" both of them breathed the name and seemed to relax. Cloud nodded.

"And who are you?"

"Zack!" the one on the right hit his chest with a closed fist and grinned easily. The one on the left ducked his chin and frowned, eyes suddenly going empty and alone again. Tifa reached out and took his hand and he raised those lonely eyes to her. Apologetic, he shook his head.

"Not-zack," he answered. "I – tried. But I can't."

"You tried?" she asked and suddenly the world spun alarmingly. When it settled all four of them were still in the same position. Except they weren't in the white nothingness anymore. Now they were in a lab of some sort and Tifa felt Cloud tense automatically next to her. Some man she'd never seen before, fat with wild gray hair moved right through them as if he was a ghost. Or they were.

"It's the degradation. I can make perfect clones. They just don't… last. I'm sure that crazy Hojo is sabotaging me. Or he could at least share his own secrets. Mad. He's halfway to mad. Think of what we could do with an army of clones. Easy, replaceable, expendable. Every time we lost one we'd just bake up a new one. It's genius! How could Shinra cut the funding? It's Hojo, I know it is!"

Somewhere out of focus and to the side a voice asked with obvious boredom:

"Can you just sign the papers, professor? I've got other mad scientists to get signatures from today."

Scoffing, grumbling, the man scribbled his name over the forms on a clipboard and handed them back.

"You wait and see. Just wait. My project G is almost finished. That'll show them. It'll show them all. Just wait – "

The room faded abruptly and Tifa could almost hear the door closing behind it. The Zack on the right watched it all with mild interest and then looked expectantly back at Cloud and Tifa for a reaction. The one on the left just looked at his hand in Tifa's.

"That was… a memory?" she guessed and Cloud settled down next to her. Apparently deciding this was going to be a long session. The Zack that held her hand nodded.

"Clones don't work that way though. I found out later. You need live bodies to make clones."

"Were you… a live body?" Tifa asked and the Zack in front of her exhaled and frowned.

"I don't – I don't remember."

Tifa wracked her brain, trying to remember what Zack had told them that didn't match Cloud's memories. Not the breaks but the places he actually had a memory to prove it.

"Cave in," Cloud's voice said it and the second the words were out of his mouth, the world around them went dark. Dust choked down from an earth roof. They were in a cave, a tunnel, somewhere deeply buried under the earth and Cloud stiffened automatically next to Tifa in the close confinement. She shifted so that the outside of her thigh rested against his. The Zack on the right looked around in curiosity but the one on the left hunched his shoulders automatically and his fingers on Tifa's hand tightened.

To the side, soldiers in Shinra uniform dug desperately at a fallen mound of rubble and dirt. Calling a name that came through muffled. A brown regulation glove thrust up suddenly through the dirt, clawing, panicked and desperate. The cave scene faded and both Cloud and the Zack on the left relaxed a little as the endless white world returned.

Tifa kept an eye on the other Zack but she concentrated on the one in front of her.

"Kalm?"

Immediately the town sprang up around them. It was clean and rustic and colorful. Adults moved about their business slowly and with time to stop and talk. Children ran cheerfully past, laughing and calling to each other.

"Candy shop?" Tifa suggested and suddenly it was there in front of them. The door was wide open and the alluring scent of chocolate and spun sugar and maple whispered out to tempt the unsuspecting passerby. Inside glass jars sat on shelves and little colorful boxes were wrapped with ribbons and displayed in stacks. A thin woman with a smile like wrinkled sugar plums moved behind the counter, humming cheerfully to herself. And a little boy with shaggy dark hair crept over to lurk in the doorway, huge eyes fastened on the treasure beyond. The old woman turned and when she saw him she smiled. His name was familiar on her tongue but came out muffled and unrecognizable as it carried to the little boy and he shyly crept inside and then broke halfway across the room to rush over to her with a laugh.

The memory faded as if it was a shut door again and Zack was smiling, sad and wistful as he held her hand.

"Man, that smelled good," the other Zack commented cheerfully and then ruffled his hair with an absent hand. "Uh, what are we sitting here for?"

"Answers," Cloud told him and Zack nodded and made a face that indicated he didn't get it but he'd go along with the idea. Cloud exhaled and rubbed his hand over his own hair in the same gesture Zack had just used.

"Well, I think we know where the divide is. Now what?" he asked and Tifa shook her head. The other Zack was watching her and there was both fear and hope in his eyes. Taking a guess, she suggested:

"Zack?"

"Yeah?" the one on the right answered but it was too late for the one on the left. The white world was already swirling and it moved through memory after memory almost too fast to keep up with.

Zack laughing. Zack teasing. Zack doing squats. Zack fiddling with the Buster Sword. Zack talking about friends, family, girl friend, situations, big date, Turks, what's for lunch at the cafeteria. Zack winking. Zack taking more paperwork. Zack getting out of paperwork by 'sharing' it…

And every single time, it was Zack dealing with someone just out of their sight. Until –

Until it wasn't Zack anymore but a man Tifa didn't recognize but that had Cloud tensing, rage flaring up around him even though he didn't move or make a sound. The slightly bent man with the long dark hair and glasses was talking to the same person Zack had been, still out of their focus.

"It would be a shame to let such a magnificent SOLDIER go to waste. Yes, yes. I can see your point. You are expendable. A much lower quality specimen. It might do, it might do. Certainly a fascinating study in whether I could raise an inferior to the quality of a superior. Hollander was such a small bit magician with what he attempted with his clones…"

The memory faded but a voice remained. And it said:

"I'm only a Second Class. I can't do anything. But Zack…

the world needs to have a Zack Fair…"

Suddenly they were back in the white again and the Zack in front of her was shaking and had wrapped his other arm around himself. His grip on her hand was almost crushing. He was shaking his head.

"They didn't need me. No one needed me. No one would even miss me. But Zack… everyone missed Zack. Everyone needed Zack. I couldn't help, wasn't any use as me. But… Zack. Zack would have fixed things. Zack did fix things. I didn't matter if Zack could come back."

"I am pretty great," the Zack next to him offered cheerfully and the other Zack shook his head.

"I think I… I did. I – asked them to make me Zack. I didn't mean to steal his place I just wanted… I just knew the world needed a hero and I couldn't do it."

"No one cared?" Tifa asked, heart breaking and without meaning to, she triggered the white again. An old woman with her graying hair in a bun stood in front of a stove. She turned and looked at them with a smile. The love that radiated out of her was a touchable thing. She held out her hand, lower down as if to a child only she could see.

"The cookies are almost ready. Did you want to help me with them, Kunsel?"


	111. Chapter 111: Pieces

Chapter 111: Pieces

"Kunsel?"

As soon as Tifa said the name the white swirled. The man holding her hand bowed his head and closed his eyes though, not wanting to see.

Nothing more horrifying than a small apartment bathroom showed up though with a man standing in front of it. His back was to them and he wore the purple of a SOLDIER 2nd Class uniform. He had his hands on the sink's sides and was staring hard into the mirror but his back was in the way and Tifa couldn't see past him to see his face. Gentle, she tugged her hand free and Zack let her go. Cloud moved in to rest a hand on the other man's shoulder as Tifa walked over to the person in front of the mirror.

He had dark hair, black just the way it was now except his hair was combed down and cut sensibly, lacking its shaggy spikes and the trademark strand that always fell in front of his eyes. It had waves in it too, though it was apparent that he'd tried to get ride of those by keeping his hair cut short. He was a memory and she was a ghost so he didn't react to her here but there was something about the way his shoulders were sagged forward and his head was low that made her want to put a hand on his back and comfort him. He exhaled and raised his face to the mirror again and this time the brows were low and the face was set in determination. And… it almost broke her heart. Because he didn't look like Zack. His jaw was too wide, his lips were too thin, his cheek had a permanent dimple even when he was scowling at himself. But… they were Zack's eyes looking back out of the mirror. At least the eyes of the Zack she knew. Except right now they were full of hopelessness and despair and a terrible drowning sorrow. She'd never seen him look so bleak, not even surrounded by Hojo's notebooks onboard the Highwind. Zack looked at himself in the mirror… Kunsel looked at himself in the mirror and all he saw was what wasn't there. His hands tightened on the sink and he glared at the reflection.

When he spoke, his voice was a bit lower toned than she was used to hearing but it was still his voice. Behind her, she heard their own Zack whispering in echo as the man in front of the mirror told his reflection:

"You've always made it a point to know what was going on and what good has it done? Time to actually do something." The lips shifted, attempted to smile but, not having Zack's face, couldn't. "Besides… who's going to miss you anyway?"

"Hey!" the Zack that had been relaxed and seemingly unaware as he sat next to his twin in front of Cloud suddenly remarked. "That's a load of crap!"

Zack… Kunsel… sitting next to him turned his head and gave a tired smile.

"It is to you," he told his 'Zack' personality.

"He's right," Cloud agreed with the Zack personality. "I remember. Zack talked about you. You were his best friend in Shinra outside of Angeal."

Kunsel/Zack made a noise.

"Yeah, well… Zack was dead." He lifted his eyes and looked into Cloud's. "Can you say you wouldn't have traded yourself to bring him back?"

Cloud didn't answer and Kunsel/Zack nodded and gave a rueful smile.

"Well, I had the opportunity to apparently. I always did make it a point to know all the dirty stuff Shinra was trying to cover up. Looks like I – " he paused and then shook his head. "Looks like I got what I wanted… but so did they." He looked up at Cloud imploringly while the Kunsel memory froze in front of his mirror. Saying goodbye to himself.

"How could I forget?" the Kunsel/Zack in front of Cloud sounded horrified. "How could I forget and still work for Shinra after… after what I knew?"

Cloud reached out and rubbed his hand over the other man's hair. It was a rough gesture and one she'd seen Zack use on him countless times in the past.

"Because you were Zack, Kun. And Zack didn't know about Shinra. Not until the very end." He went silent. "Not until it was almost too late."

Tifa left the memory and went back to where the men were crouched. Without a word, she settled behind their Zack and wrapped her arms around him.

"It… hurt," his voice was soft. "I can… I can remember… just a little. How bad it hurt when they started cloning the cells and replacing mine…"

Tifa held him a little bit tighter and Cloud's hand on his head was gentle. For a long time the three of them stayed that way. Finally, almost forgotten, the Zack personality interrupted with a cheerful:

"So now what?"

Cloud made a noise, a grunt that might have been a half laugh.

"Now we put you two back together and go home."

"How?" Kunsel demanded from Tifa's arms. "I'm not Zack. I… I didn't do things the way he would have. I'm not me anymore but I'm not him either." He sounded almost angry. Cloud's blue eyes narrowed in response and electric moved through their color.

"Don't talk to me. I haven't been me for years." The electric left his eyes suddenly and he grinned. Really, really grinned. It made him look young and impossibly handsome. He reached out to grab the hair at the back of Kunsel's neck and give it a gentle shake. "Look. I've been an idiot. So I'm not going to let you waste your time that way too. What does Tifa always tell us?"

Kunsel raised his face slightly.

"Not to just eat the chocolate chips out of pancakes?"

Tifa had to stifle her own noise then and she pressed her face into his back. Cloud laughed, once, and then leaned forward to rest his forehead against the top of Kunsel's.

"That she loves us for who we are."

The Zack personality sitting on the side made a noise and Tifa suddenly realized… with one arm she reached out for him and he came with a smile, pressing in against her side and slinging a companionable arm over Kunsel's shoulder.

"I do," Tifa agreed. "Because you are exactly who you are. And I don't care what you call yourself. You're just you and you're my friend."

"Well, you're her friend," Cloud added. "I'm her boyfriend."

His voice was so dry and calm that for a moment, neither Tifa nor either of the Zack's realized what he'd done. And then the Zack personality burst into laughter and hit Cloud's shoulder.

"Dude! That's such a 'Tifa' thing to say!"

Tifa made a noise of protest but even Kunsel was silently laughing.

"It was," he managed, voice muffled against his hand as he rubbed it over his face.

"Can we go home?" Tifa asked and Kunsel exhaled and looked at the 'Zack' next to him. The Zack personality looked back at him.

"Dude, I'm not going to just 'poof'."

Slow, Kunsel nodded.

"I think… I think that's okay. I don't remember how to be who I was anymore."

The Zack personality winked.

"That's 'cause you're me, bud. You don't seriously think the real Zack was a hundred percent of the way you've been acting, do you? I'm you. Just a little bit less depressing."

Kunsel made a noise.

"Thanks," he answered dryly and 'Zack' grinned back at him cheerfully. Kunsel's hand moved to rest over Tifa's where it lay against his chest but he raised his eyes to Cloud's.

"You'll help? You'll help me figure out how to put the pieces together so I can be… whatever I've turned myself into?"

Cloud gave one of his single nods, chin dipping, and his eyes were clear and sure.

"Yeah."

Kunsel took a deep inhale and gave Tifa's hand a squeeze.

"Okay." He looked over at 'Zack'. "You ready?"

'Zack' gave a cocky, confident grin.

"I'm always ready, man."

Tifa raised her head and for a moment, her eyes met Cloud's over Kunsel's head. Then she turned her head and searched the area that had gone swallowing white again.

"Aerith?"

"I'm here." There was a sudden rush of her friend's personality as it filled the white and wrapped around them like a warm hug. Tifa could even smell the soft perfume her friend always wore and the scent of her shampoo. Flowers. Aerith was always flowers and pencil lead. "Ready?"

Despite the pleasure and encouragement in her friend's tone, Tifa hesitated.

"Aerith…"

Her friend's laughter filled the air around them like sunlight caught raindrops.

"Oh, Teef… do you really think after all you three have been through and done to yourselves that it's going to be 'back to normal'?"

Cloud's eyes went cautious first and he turned his head a little to the side.

"What?" his voice was calm and soft and if anything, the warm welcome and embrace of the place seemed to thicken.

"You've got dormant Jenova cells, Kunsel has cells that regenerate and adapt his body to avoid the degradation that Hollander always had problems with, and even Tifa – "

"Tifa?" Cloud's question was harder and Aerith's presence sighed.

"Tifa has distilled mako and Jenova blood in her after the battle with the Abomination. And now you've all drowned in the Lifestream. I can bring you back from that but I can't change what it will do to you."

Tifa and Kunsel and Zack had all frozen and only Cloud was still capable of accepting and processing the new information at this speed. So it was his narrow eyes and low voice that asked:

"What will it do to us?"

"I don't know," Aerith's voice didn't sound worried or sad. "I just know it will change you. And that I will always be able to be with you now. Because I am the Lifestream."

"Aerith…?" Tifa managed and felt her friend's warmth settle around her like a hug. It drew tears to her eyes.

"I'm the last," Aerith's words were a whisper in her ear. "But I'm also half. Half Cetra, half human. I am the perfect link between what once was and what can be. All this time I thought I wasn't enough but it was the exact opposite. The Planet needed me to become more. I'm right where I've always been meant to be, Teef. And… and I think I'm happy. Really, really happy. This way I get to stay with you and… Zack's here. And, one day, you'll all join me too and we'll really, really be together again. Though…" her voice held a smile and mischief. "I don't think that will be for a very… _very_ long time."


	112. Chapter 112

_Before we go for good – I'll be attending Dragoncon this September. That's Atlanta, Georgia, folks. If you're going to be there too drop me a line. We'll have a TWT reunion. Just as long as you promise to leave the maiming objects behind ;)_

Chapter 112:

Tifa opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was the metal and cloth of the underside of a bed. It was a familiar bed because it was familiar bunk.

She was on the Highwind.

More than that, there was a familiar weight against her body and familiar scents in her nostrils. Crayons and sugar and strawberry shampoo. Marlene. Dust from hidden explored places, the lingering fade of 'little boy' and the hinting sharper scent of 'not quite man'. Denzel.

Storm winds and midnight shadows and lighting.

Sunshine.

Cloud…

Her family was wound around and piled on top of her and she could feel the exhales from one of her siblings against the back of her wrist. Cloud took up most of her however and the way he held her, the way his hands were on her, even in his sleep, indicated that, soon, the children were going to be expected to not only sleep in their own bed but in their own room. Even asleep it was apparent he wasn't going anywhere but exactly where the rest of the family went.

Wherever that was…

For the first time, Tifa realized, they had a choice. And as much time to make it as they wanted to…

"Hey." It was a whisper and she turned her head to the side of the bed. Zack… Kunsel was crouched down, his nose just level with the edge of the mattress. Careful not to jostle anyone sleeping around her, she reached out and brushed her fingers over his spiky hair. He still looked the same. Except his eyes. His eyes were closer to the eyes she'd seen belonging to the man watching himself in the mirror. They weren't the dull glass they'd been in Cosmo Canyon though. The sparks of light were still there. She gave him a smile.

"Hey," she greeted back and he shifted to rest his chin on the edge of the bed. It was quiet for a long moment while she stroked his hair as if he was Denzel and their family slept on. Finally, he softly told her.

"Your eyes look the same. I was afraid they'd be green or glow. But they're still just dark and warm."

Long fingers suddenly flicked out and struck Kunsel's forehead. Against Tifa's shoulder, Cloud's voice came out roughly muffled and he didn't lift his head.

"Stop flirting with my girl."

The dark haired man pulled back and snorted, though he kept it soft so it wouldn't wake the children.

"Elmyra's taking Aerith's body back to the lake in the forest. I think… I think it will let her in." Kunsel paused. "I'm going to go with her. And then… I think I'm going to go to Kalm."

Against her, Tifa felt Cloud stir and he finally lifted his head to rest his chin on her shoulder and look at their friend.

"You want company?"

Kunsel smiled.

"I'm taking Red. Which means I'm apparently getting stuck with Vincent too since they're now best buds or something."

"You're sure?" Tifa asked softly and Kunsel shrugged.

"Not really. Vincent smells like mothballs and I keep expecting him to start talking with a bad 'vleh' accent."

Tifa gave him a gentle push and he rocked on his heels and his smile softened.

"I'm sure, Teef. I need to do this. And… and I think I need to do it away from you two. You know me too well. I can't… I can't try to figure out who I am now when you both make me so comfortable being who I've been." He rubbed at the back of his head. "Does that make sense?"

Cloud just grunted.

"I would tell you you were over-thinking things but that would sound hypocritical."

Kunsel's grin flashed in the dimness of the room. Maybe she just imagined it, but Tifa thought she saw the whisper of a dimple.

"Maybe. Just a little."

"You'll come back though?" Tifa asked softly. "You'll come back to us?"

The dark haired man's face softened and he reached out to brush her hair back from her forehead.

"Yeah," he promised. "Yeah, I'll be back. And then you two won't be able to get rid of me. We're a team." He offered his hand and Tifa laid hers over top of it. A second later, Cloud grunted and then included his as well. To their surprise, two smaller hands snuck up as 'sleeping' siblings contributed their affirmation to the connection again. Somewhere, very faintly, Tifa heard laughter like wind chimes and, for just a moment, felt the warmth of another hand joining the promise.

"We're family," she answered.

_Now this is not the end. This is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. – Sir Winston Churchill_


End file.
